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robinofgothamcity · 2 years

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"where did you go? i miss you so, i'm all alone, you're up there, you're up in the sky...."

♡ character: eddie munson

♡ pronouns used: she / her

♡ note: not checked for grammar or spelling mistakes / angst-to-fluff i promiseeee

"FUCK YOU EDDIE!" you screamed as you stared down at the long black haired boy, "i didn't start any stupid rumors, we've been friends for how long?" eddie chuckled in disbelief, "it's one thing to not want to be my friend anymore but it's another to lie straight to my face!" he replied.

you laughed, shaking your head and opening the door, "if you think that i'm lying to you, fine but you know i've always been here for you. i was there since the day you moved in with your uncle and i'd never say anything about you that would hurt your feelings," you screamed, tears going down your face.

both you and eddie were panting from the amount of yelling you were doing, "if you're jealous or upset because i'm gaining the tiniest bit of popularity by being friends with steve and jason, that's your fault, not mine so don't start projecting that onto me. plus, i'm your girlfriend, you should be happy that i made the cheer team!"

"so that's it? we're breaking up? how original ( your name )."

eddie wanted to continue the argument but he could see the way you were screaming in the car out of pure frustration and anger. he knew you needed to let off steam and so did he. the argument was getting more and more intense and at some point, he knew the two of you would end up apologizing and forgiving each other.

that day never came. two years later and the both of you had to yet say anything to each other. you ignored him whenever you saw him approaching and each time he called your house, you'd yell to your mom that you weren't speaking to him and to let it ring.

you got a bit more popular considering you befriended chrissy and got closer to steve not long after. being that you and chrissy were on the cheer team and steve invited you to parties that jason or ken were throwing, you climbed up the social ladder fairly quick. you weren't as much of a prick as jason was and if there was one thing you never antagonized, it was the rumors that started to spread about eddie.

rumors about him being a freak or him being a satanist never formed as truths, at least to you. you had known eddie since elementary school and although eddie did like music like metallica or iron maiden, he was never the freak they all thought he was. he was one of the sweetest boys you had known.

eddie on the other hand hated to see you so popular. not that he hated you but hated how many guys were around you. if it wasn't steve, it was jason, and if it wasn't jason, it was ken or some freshman trying to gain popularity. your face was plastered around the school always promoting the cheer team with chrissy and my god, he thought you had gotten more gorgeous over the years.

hawkin's high school was now in full swing for spirit week. you, chrissy, and a few others picked the themes for this year and you were arriving on the day you had picked. cowboy/western. you wanted to go all out with the cowboy hat and boots. your family had a bunch of western wear from back home so all you had to do was remake it to fit you. you stole your uncles tejana hat and your moms fringed jacket. pairing it with a squared shirt and a jean skirt, you felt like you were back home and visiting family.

"howdy," you greeted all of your friends. they all couldn't help but giggle at how you looked, "really putting the yee haw into it, huh?" steve said. you rolled your eyes as you fixed the hat, "it wouldn't be spirit week if i wasn't," you replied. chrissy immediately ran up to you, showing off her pink cowboy hat in excitement.

steve had his arm fixed around your shoulder as nancy passed by you, giving you a sweet compliment on the outfit. you thanked her as you noticed the yearbook team approaching you, "mind if we take a picture of you and chrissy by the front of the school?" he asked. you and chrissy agreed excitedly as the two of you ran to the front of the school doors and quickly fixed your hair.

eddie was now walking in as he saw you and chrissy posing for the photo. you were holding your hat up and smiling at chrissy as she smiled at the camera. eddie stayed in his place, smiling softly at how happy you looked. you were still as gorgeous as ever and now all of you were about to graduate college.

he had heard of you moving a few towns over for it and a huge part of him wanted to follow. eddie still was very protective over you and whenever he heard rumors about you floating around, he made sure to cut them off before they got any worse. there had been a day eddie purposely beat up a kid behind the bleachers for claiming that he got into bed with you. he left the poor kid bleeding and he was pretty sure he broke his nose.

"hey check it out, eddie munson is looking over at you," chrissy whispered. you gave her a look before turning to where she was pointing at, "oh, i'm pretty sure he was looking somewhere else. i don't think he would acknowledge someone like me."

"ladies, we're going to be late for first period if you don't hurry up," you heard robin say. you immediately thanked the boy before going to your locker to get your bag, "robin, guess what? eddie munson was checking her out," chrissy said moving her eyebrows a suggestive way.

"give it up chrissy, eddie is the last person who'd be checking me out," you replied making sure to emphasize that eddie was not your friend. as much as you missed him, you were sure he still hated you as much as he did two years prior, "now lets get to literature, no?" you asked as steve joined up with you.

the four of you happened to have a few classes together so it wasn't unusual to see all of you walking in together. what you also knew that this was one of six classes that you shared with eddie. you were surprised to see him back again this year considering he was supposed to be a 1985 graduate but you didn't question it.

you sat in between chrissy and robin as the teacher had moved steve to the front of the class for never paying attention. eddie was already in class when all of you arrived. you immediately put your bag down and sat on top of steve's desk, not recognizing the agonizing look on eddie's face. oh how he wished that you could've been sitting on his desk as he spoke to you on his latest campaign.

"hey, what are you doing tonight? we all wanted to catch a movie at the drive in," steve asked his three favorite people. you sighed in defeat, "can't. i have to stay after school to work on a project for history after cheer practice," you muttered. they all sighed in temporary sadness but knew that senior year projects were important.

both you and chrissy were working on a new cheer for the upcoming basketball season and were running around like chickens with your heads cut off because you still hadn't gotten the routine down.

most of the day was left for you to try and figure out what would become of the new cheer routine. it was hard to figure it out when everyone was still causing slip ups and you were working sometimes through the night to make it easier for the team. chrissy had gotten the routine down in a few others but most of the team were still struggling.

you walked out of the locker room to refill your water bottle before practice when you saw eddie walking into a classroom. you stepped towards the room to see him talking to a few kids and opening up a notebook. you knew that notebook from anywhere. you had given it to him when he first began playing DnD and you were surprised he was still using it.

"hey, c'mon, we're about to be late!" chrissy scream. you nodded, giving eddie one last look before leaving. eddie had noticed you looking at him and a part of him wanted to call out your name, "dude, you good?" lucas asked. eddie nodded, not saying anything but his mind still occupied on you.

after practice, you stayed with a few girls to practice it a bit more. it was now eddie's turn to look over at you from the small glass window on the gym door. you were talking to a few of your teammates, a bit animatedly as you were hitting the table to get your point across. eddie could tell you were being serious about it but the way you look at the moment had his heart racing.

the stupid white cheer skirt that matched with the top made him fantasize about you giving him a show with it but he quickly discarded those thoughts as you dismissed your teammates.

you knew the library was closed by now which meant you'd have to work on your project over the weekend. you left the gym, grumbling about how annoyed you were but you knew you were just hungry. you put your things into the trunk of your car and started it when you heard a whirring noise.

great.

sometimes your car tended to stay stranded when the night got too cold. you knew your mom wasn't home and your siblings were probably too busy to pick up the phone.

"fuck," you whispered to yourself as you tried to turn on the car again.

you growled when you realized that you needed to give it up and just start the walk home. you opened the trunk once again and took your things out before starting the journey. indiana really hated you on these particular cold days. your house wasn't exactly far but the ten minute car ride would probably end up a thirty minute walk.

eddie was making his way home when he saw you walking on the dirty road. it was dangerous to be walking home alone and given that it was hawkins, he knew it was worse. without much thought, he pulled over to the side in front of you and got out.

"hey, what're you doing walking alone at eight at night?" he asked. you sighed, "my car wouldn't start and no one would be able to get me so i really didn't have much of a choice but to walk to school," you replied as you continued to walk. you didn't want to get your hopes up with this conversation.

eddie sighed, "get in, i'll drop you off. i don't want you walking alone," he stated. you could tell he was being serious and he wasn't allowing you much time to think about it, "fine," you said as you opened up the back of his van and chucked your things inside before getting into the passenger seat.

you remained quiet for most of the ride until you saw the small picture on the end of the his dash board, "oh my god, eddie, you still have this?" you asked as you took it off. you were wearing eddie's jean jacket as he was holding you up bridal style. it was your freshman year and eddie's sophomore year. he had just won his first campaign for the Hellfire Club and he was beyond ecstatic about it.

"yeah, kinda just kept it as i didn't want to just throw it out."

the more you stared at the photo, the more you started to get choked up. you both looked so happy in the picture and a part of you wanted that back. eddie was confused as to why you didn't say anything else but he could see the way your hands were shaking and how you were trying to not cry.

"hey, what's the matter?" he asked. you held the photo with such strength that it was genuinely surprising you, "fuck, it's nothing," you replied. he moved over to the side of the road and asked for you to look at him.

you shook your head no but eddie's index finger lifted your chin up. your cheeks were running warm and your eyes were bloodshot red. he could sense what was making you so emotional but before he could say anything, you let out a sob as you held the picture close to your chest.

"sweetheart, it's okay," he whispered. you shook your head no, "no, no it's not. that argument was so fucking stupid edward. we haven't talked in nearly three years because we're so fucking stubborn," you yelled. eddie sighed and grabbed the picture, "what went wrong? we were perfect for each other."

eddie nodded and turned over to you to wipe the mascara that was staining your face, "babe, calm down. what happened that night is a thing of the past and it was dumb. we were too young to actually communicate our feelings out and you shouldn't be so upset about it anymore, he replied. you agreed but didn't say anything, "you don't think i wanted to approach you and just talk to you again? i wanted to so badly but look at who your friends with. jason and steve would not take lightly to me."

you shook your head.

"jason maybe but steve, robin, and chrissy would understand. they're my best friends eddie and if they knew that i loved you, they would have given you a chance," you explained. the van stayed silent as metallica played lowly in the background. you knew 'master of puppets' was his favorite song to play on the guitar and he played it constantly, "i would have taken you back no issue," you continued.

eddie chuckled as he grabbed your hand and brought you over to sit on his lap. you were hesitant on doing so but soon enough, you got comfortable as you laid your head on his shoulder, "you could have came up to me too you know," he said.

you hid your head into his shoulder still trying to control your crying as he patted your hair as an attempt to calm you down, "come on baby, it's going to be okay. you know i always hated to see you cry," you hugged him closer, "i missed you so much munson. i miss playing DnD, late night car rides, and you dedicating your songs to me," you whispered.

"i know baby but i don't think i'm good for you anymore. you're going up for school soon and i don't think you want some freak to follow along," you scoffed at his confession, "don't put ideas into your head eddie. you're always good for me. you were my soulmate. you promised me by eighteen we'd be married."

that statement always wilded you out but eddie had always told you that the minute you both were of age, he'd take you away to get married. at first you were shocked but once you understood how serious he was, you were just as on board with the idea. you loved eddie enough to get married. he always talked about how he wanted to take your last name so he could get rid of that wretched munson name so everything of his past could stay in the past.

"that offer is still on the table darling. i never stopped loving you. you should know that," he confessed as he played with your fingers. you stared at him with tear filled eyes, "really? even though we haven't spoken in two almost three years?" you asked.

eddie nodded as he took off the ring that he had on his left finger and presented it to you. you stared at him, confused as all hell at what he was about to do.

"i promise you the day we graduate, we can run to that damn courthouse and get married. no one but me, you, and a damn witness," he said with such confidence in his voice, "all you have to do is take this ring and never remove it again."

you lifted your hand shakily grabbed it from him but before you could, he slipped it onto your left ring finger, "we'll have to get it resized until i can afford the ring you deserve," he said. you couldn't help but chuckle as you grabbed his cheeks and gave him the long awaited kiss, "eddie munson, i love you so damn much," you whispered.

eddie scoffed, "don't you mean eddie ( last name )? i told you i'm taking your last name darling," you giggled again as you agreed, "so does that mean we're engaged now?" you asked. eddie nodded yes as you let out a scream of enjoyment, "holy shit, wait till chrissy and robin find out. they're going to freak! we'll need a witness and you need a best man even if it is a courthouse wedding!" you rambled.

eddie stared at you, love written all over his face as he stayed silent to let you talk, "well, lets get you home. my fiancée doesn't need to get grounded now," he said starting his car again. you squealed at the sound of him saying you were his fiancée but you didn't mind one bit.

being eddie munson's fiancée sounded awful to literally anyone else in hawkin's but to you, that sounded like the best thing in the world. you had been dreaming about this since you were fourteen and in a short few months, you'd be officially married to the man you agreed to marry at fourteen.

you kissed his cheek every few seconds as you stared down at your ring. eddie grabbed your hand, the hand where your ring was and kissed it, "forever," he whispered before kissing it again, "forever," you replied giving him another kiss on the cheek.

now you were going to have to deal with telling chrissy, robin, and steve that not only did you have a boyfriend but you were engaged to be married.

#eddie munson imagine #eddie munson #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things

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rosie-kairi · 2 months

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Questions for 15 Friends Tag Game

Rules: Answer the questions, then tag 15 people. (won't be tagging anyone personally lol)

Thanks for the tag @/corishadowfang!

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

IRL No, not that I'm aware of. I'm the only one in my immediate family (sans my father's side) not named after another member of our family. I do get my middle name from my mom's first name, though. (which, funny enough, wasn't her original first name. She went by her middle name much more than her first name, so she just had it legally changed lol) My Dad wanted to name me Gwendolyn and his mom wanted Bronwyn.

Online, I think it's pretty obvious where I get my name(s) from lol. Though, I don't think I've ever told the origins of Rosie. It was actually originally supposed to be like an adjective? Like "rosy cheeks" or whatever, but I spelt it the way one spells the name Rosie and it came first in my url, so I came to be known as Rosie.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

Can't remember exactly? But I think I was crying over some video compilation of people reuniting with lost pets and I was thinking about my deceased cat, Jazzy. I have no idea why I was watching that video.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Nah, I'm 17.

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?

In elementary school my mom really wanted me to get into softball since she played it in college, so I was briefly on a tee-ball (kiddie baseball, hit using a tee) team and a softball team. I didn't like it very much, so I only played for a year or so. Then in middle school my mom wanted me to get into Volleyball, same story there. The one sport that stuck was Swimming, which my mom insisted I try because both of my older brothers had been on the team in the past. I ended up being really good at swimming, so I still swim competitively to this day.

DO YOU USE SARCASM?

Mostly only around my family or people I'm close with irl. I really don't want to come off as mean around strangers, either online or face-to-face.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

Online I usually pay attention to the way they type, I suppose? or the way they talk through text, can't really explain it though. Real life, I suppose it's how they carry themselves, visual stuff like that.

WHAT’S YOUR EYE COLOUR?

I have central heterochromia! Means I have two colors in one eye; blue and brown :) It's not really noticeable unless you look really close.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

Happy endings :)) Though I do watch scary movies in a roundabout way by putting on youtube videos about horror movies as background noise sometimes.

ANY TALENTS?

I think I'm a decent singer, also I think I'd make a killer voice actor.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

Dead middle of a nor'easter (really bad blizzard) in Maine

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

Art :) I read sometimes. I like building legos whenever I get the chance too. Also video games lol. Pretty run-of-the-mill hobbies, I think.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

Two atm! Sulley (white one) and Callie (calico), both cats :)

HOW TALL ARE YOU?

5'11"

FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?

History 💪💪💪 Family full of History buffs, excluding my mom lol

DREAM JOB?

I would love to one day work on a show as a storyboard artist or animator, and the hopeful goal is to someday be a showrunner myself. It's a big goal for sure but it's something I really want. Art is my passion and I want to pursue it. Remember your darling mutual rosie-kairi when people start having discourse about my ocs.

Feel free to do this yourself if you want to! Open invitation :D

#Rosie rambles #tag game

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forbelobog · 8 days

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get to know the author behind the blog! repost, do not reblog plz

BASICS.

name: ayla age: i'm a vampire (30s) pronouns: she/they years of writing: collectively, i've been writing since i was in elementary school, but rp? like...like 15, 16 years.

REFLECTION.

why did you pick up writing? when i was in elementary school, there was this program thru the library where, if you wrote a certain amount of pages on this little packet they gave you, you could get your book "published." which basically meant getting the pages you wrote and drew on glued between a small hardcover, no bigger than a regular hallmark card. but they let you do this as many times as you wanted and you would even get extra credit for writing 5+ in a grading period. i started writing about anything and everything. a leaf who didn't know how to fly with the wind. a pig who wanted to find a hat. even a turkey who found a family on thanksgiving who loved him and didn't eat him. fastforward to the internet, i would write stories about horses (i am a reformed horse girl, sorry) in blank notepads. i remember my best friend telling me saddle wasn't spelled with t's, but d's. then, i found message boards in sites like neopets and gogaia, and i really kind of let my imagination go. i picked up writing even before i knew why, i kind of always just wanted to. my mom used to read me and my brother the hobbit as a bedtime story and it was very imaginative, i think that's where the whole fantasy/world building curiosity started. i like making and telling stories. when i found out you could do that with other people, it was game over for me. do you have any writing routines? i used to, back when i rped a lot more frequently and consistently, but not so much anymore. writing has always been something i enjoy doing and rp is just a hobby; as i got older/more "adult" with "adult responsibilities", i realized i never wanted to stress about rp. i write when i feel like it and never before. tho, when i do sit down to write, i tend to do so in silence/with ambient white noise. i can't focus if i have any outside factors. what's your favorite part about writing? invoking emotion. whether it's happy or sad or angry or confused. i like to be able to reach other people with words. i find writing to be theraputic, in a way. for instance i've been writing a nonfiction about my grandmother for awhile, which i started before she passed based around her dementia and sundowners. it was hard to deal with for me but writing became a way to cope in a healthy way.

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOUR WRITING.

i. uuuuhhh i guess my scene setting is pretty good? i tend to spend a lot of time with openers making sure there is a reason for why the character is there, what the purpose will be moving forward, and where they are going to currently. i hate it sometimes because i feel like i go on and on about like, a room, but i like to think it helps my partners in the long run. ii. alliteration is my favorite literary tool and i like to think i'm pretty good at it by now. stringing together a good collection of sounds is very fun. iii. idk man this is hard. uuhhhhh i...usually always try to give my partners something to respond to? it's something i had to work on when i first started rping, but not only is your response to whatever the other muse is doing important, but giving THEM something to respond to in a reply is equally important, or else everything kind of falls flat. idk partner feel free to tell me i still suck at it but i have worked on it a lot in the past.

A QUESTION FOR THE NEXT PERSON.

when you find it difficult to write what are some things you might do to help get back into it? if i'm looking to get back in to writing a specific character, i tend to reread old threads regarding that character i've done before, or visit things that make me think of the muse. like a playlist, or watch some cutscenes, or fanart. if i'm just looking to writ something in general but can't find the muse, i put on music that inspires me. john darnielle/the mountain goats is a go-to for me, darnielle is one of, if not my favorite writier, and his songs are so descriptive it makes me jealous. QUESTION: what was the first character you ever picked up to start rping? why did you gravitate to them?

tagged by: @dupliciti tagging: @cloudhymn @wingspiked @spadilled @eteing @ofinflorescence @resolutepath and YOU!!! if you steal this from me please tag me i'd love to read.

#( ( ooc #thx for the tag #thinking of 3 things i like #about my writing was #harder than it shoulder have been #whoops

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saraa-lancee · 9 months

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If you don't mind, I think I've had a minor Epiphany about Gender and Names and I'm just gonna....

I've honestly really always hated my name. Not like in a visceral way but like. It just doesn't Feel Correct. It's Not Me in a way I can't explain.

I've felt this way since literally forever. As a kid, my brain rationalized it in a few ways.

It's a very popular name-- i was one of many. It was *the* popular name in my cohort until I got to high school. I don't know if that area was just booming with Raechels (and all 100 ways to spell it) or what. I feel like most little kids probably wouldn't love being one of like 10. It brings practical problems (are they talking to me? About me? Am I supposed to respond) but also like. Why does everyone (except for Ben and Ben) else get their own name, I guess. I don't know, I was in elementary school. But i always said I hated my name because it was so popular.

Then, I just hated it because of the way its spelled. I used to get teased about it. I don't think it was outright bullying because it wasn't ever genuinely mean but it still hurts when it happens a lot, y'know. It's technically spelled phonetically but everyone else spells it at least five different ways but mine was the Weird Way that nobody had ever seen. They'd seen Rachel and Racheal and Rachell and Raychel and whatever. But whenever other kids saw my name, they would make fun of how it's spelled. They'd intentionally say it wrong even though they knew I got upset (hell, some people still do that). They would say it wrong and say it wrong and it upset me and tease me for my "name being spelled wrong". (Like, It's not actual bullying but to this day when just about every one asks "is it pronounced Rachel or Rachelle" I flinch and i hate it. It's a professional setting and I was never even *actually* bullied but I still hate it).

Like, it's easy to say well obviously I don't like my name because it's common or it's irritating that everyone misspells or mispronounces my name (I'm side-eyeing you, DMV guy who took four tries to get it right). But at the end of the day, you don't actually really hate your name in those situations-- you hate your name being wrong. The name itself is fine. But for me, I realized recently that the problem wasn't just the irritation-- it was the name itself.

Like, when I think of myself, I've never ever thought my name matched, y'know? It's so hard to explain l but I'm hoping somebody might get it. Like, the name has always felt wrong on my tongue, on my lips. Ever since I was a child I just remember this feeling of "I'm not Raechel".

I went through a brief period recently of "i don't hate it, I just need to reframe it! I share a name with Rachel Carson, someone who was very important in Eagle conservation (something that is important to me)." But then I just really came to the realization that... I don't. I don't because *im not a Raechel*. (Any way you spell it)

I used to collect names (in a non-writer way) as a kid. Names I liked-- names I liked the sound of. Based on nothing, really. Susan. Margo. Carmen. Just characters in books or whatever. And I used to almost... try them on for myself. Whisper them and repeat them in my head and Think of them. But they weren't Right. And it felt a bit frustrating because My Name was Wrong and I couldn't find one that I thought felt better-- like shoe shopping but all they have is half sizes in the wrong direction. So I grew up, went to high school, and it was Whatever. Fuck it.

But now... I think I've always just been Like This and My Name just Didn't Match.

So I collected and tried on Girls Names because I was a Girl (just a bizzare Girl) and maybe I didn't like my name but I'd find one, as you do. As an autistic person, I think it just literally didn't occur to me at the time to consider "boy names" (black and white thinking and all). The concept of "other" or breaking a Labeled Box just didn't occur to me.

But a few months ago (maybe), something just snapped and the name Soren popped into my head. And I haven't been able to ignore it since. There's just... something about it.

At the end of the day, the name Soren has a lot of personal meaning to me, right from childhood. Maybe I'll decide it doesn't fit after all, who knows 🤷 Maybe it doesn't represent All of Me, but it definitely represents a Part of Me. (I don't think that makes any sense either but I digress).

So yeah, I've disliked my name because It's Not Me but I don't hate it because it Represents me. For now, I think I like Soren. I don't know, and I might decide later. I've never even had the courage to do the Starbucks thing (I am working woth social anxiety here) I don't know how I'm going to do this going forward (irl, etc) but for now, I Am Soren in some weird way I was never Raechel.

#soren rants #gender thoughts #rambling im sorry if anyone sees this it just felt so important to say it somehow #non-binary

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sandyrantsxo · 8 months

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A moment in the LRC

Right now, September 12, 2023, at 1:44 pm, Cristhian (yse, I'll spell your name this way) is sitting just a few feet away from me. He's wearing a pink shirt, and sitting on one of the couches underneath the big, scary, artistic masks on the LRC. Us being this close in distance scares me, not because I'm anxious that he might talk to me (which we have never done after graduation, so 2016), but because I do remember how close we used to be before.

I'm scared that one day, all the people that I know, would be like Cristhian- a few feet away, and I can't reach them. I'd like to be friends with him again, just like when we were little, but for some reason, I just can't bring myself out there to talk to him. I don't know, maybe it's a good thing that I've cut my connections to those peeps that I have known in Elementary, but every once in a while, I cannot deny that I miss them.

That's what sucks, I remember everything- may it be good or bad. I just shove it up inside me to suppress my emotions but really, I do miss them. I miss them so bad. I miss Ghelay, I miss Alliah, I miss Noreen. I miss everyone, even Kyle. I don't wanna breakdown here, but I'm on the verge of crying.

It's also what I feel whenever I see Daniel. He's been on my dreams lately (no, I'm not think of him all the time, so I am also wondering why would he be on my dreams), and I think it's because a part of me was craving for connection. I haven't talked to much people since I started here. It's hard to make friends, you know? It's like, starting over again. It's all so overwhelming, and at the same time, knowing no one in your class is so frustrating. It's not like I don't wanna be friends with them, but I always find myself straying away. Everytime I'm thinking that "Okay, I'll be friends with this person", I lose my grip. Ending? Me, eating my lunch alone.

Don't get me wrong, I love eating lunch alone. I like being alone. It's all I ever wanted in Grade 12- some clarity, peace, and quiet. This is the opposite of my whole life in UBLC. I'm used to having lunch with a bunch of people and have this big-ass table to share them with. But now, I just ate alone in the dining hall in the lounge. Yes, I ate there alone. Literally just me.

I hope that by the end of the school year, I get to meet some friends and build the type of bond that I had with my ABM 12-1 peeps. I miss them so bad right now.

I guess that's all I have to say.

Love, Sandy <3

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otakween · 3 years

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I'm Standing on a Million Lives - Vol. 7

Another great volume! I'm really enjoying this arc, although it does seem a little TOO real for a fantasy setting (drug cartel war). I like the way the story is paced and it definitely keeps me interested. I feel like the overarching story with the game master has lost its way a bit though. With the way the plot's going it feels like we're going to need a lot of volumes or an abrupt ending to get to the projected "end game."

Ch. 30

-The theme of this arc is "grey morality." Not that this series hasn't explored that before, but it's very strong here. The rationalizing of the cartels and farmers is way more interesting than just painting them as pure evil. Of course you can tell we're ultimately supposed to side with the militia because they're represented by a cute anime waifu lol

-Yotsuya uses his charisma magic. I feel like it's been so long since magic has been used that I kinda forgot it existed

Ch. 31

-Loool at the cartel being like:

to Yusuke. It's refreshing when an isekai protag with a shitty personality is called out for...having a shitty personality. In most series everyone is just inexplicably in love with them anyway.

-I like how they're showing each character's strengths: Glen is the brains, Keita has charisma, and Yusuke is...brute strength I guess? I dunno where the heck the other girls have gone off to at this point, but that's the problem with writing big parties

-There's a sense of world building here with Ihar-Nemore being like the wild, wild west and the people are all in survival of the fittest mode. Everyone's morally bankrupt, but it seems like they have no other choice

-We get another girl with a grimdark backstory (Malita). Makes sense given the environment, but it's a bit exhausting at this point when everyone has a history like that.

Ch. 32

-Kay, Glen's a badass and I love her. Also, she got a lil NPC gf! Good for her :'D

-Boy did those block puzzles make me feel stupid lol

Ch. 33

-And we suddenly get a super interesting (nonfiction) blurb about how to report drug arrests without triggering people. The fact that Japanese people are writing stuff like this gives me hope. I thought they were still pretty outdated about how they handled drugs, but it looks like progress is being made.

-This chapter was all about teaching the Ihar-Nemore's morality and solid judgement. I feel like teaching morality is a very Japanese thing. I've heard they have ethics classes in elementary school. In America that's usually kept to religion or scouting. On the one hand it might be kind of cool if we taught morals in school, but on the other I feel like morality can be pretty subjective beyond the basic "don't kill each other" stuff. I could see it getting really controversial with parents

-Oh snap, a black dude! Cool to see, but also jarring to know that black people exist in this world and we're only now seeing one in volume 7. That's anime for ya -shrug-

-The fact that they communicated via the map was smart but were they just spelling things for hours and hours before Yusuke noticed it? That part seemed almost like a plot hole to me

Ch. 34

-Another very grimdark chapter. Lots of death and Carmela's father says she's expendable because she's female. I wonder if the author of this manga grew up reading Berserk? lol

-Are they implying that the bad guy with the eyebrows is also a hero? I might be way off base but that's my prediction for now. Magic doesn't work on him and he was able to see through their "heroes killing heroes = permadeath" ruse

-Glenda said "as the only adult..." and I was like "wait-what!?" lol I had no idea she was supposed to be adult. The anime art style isn't very good at distinguishing different ages so it really needs to be explicitly said how old people are.

#i'm standing on a million lives #100 man no inochi no ue ni ore wa tatteiru #manga

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