#basically i just like it everytime spock is a bit of a bitch

[leohtttbriar]

i realize i’m late to this whole party, but here’s list of things that are So Stupid about the 2009 star trek movie:

kirk becoming a captain at the end

kirk having Intense Daddy Issues that we have to Watch

spock and uhura

(like, the writers were all genuinely thinking "well we've got One Speaking Role for Woman--it's probably a good move for her to be romantically involved with one of our many male leads")

("also probably a good idea that the male lead she is involved with is the famously repressed one cause that would be hilarious. also let's completely undercut the romance by having the other male lead making funny faces at them while they dispassionately kiss.")

The Whole Goddamn Plot

jj abrams has the unique privilege of ripping off Star Wars: A New Hope for both the star wars reboot AND the star trek reboot

why is this Star Trek movie about fathers?? that's LAME

alternate universe spock just handing over a special math formula from the future to save the galaxy (filed under: The Whole Goddamn Plot)

fucking daddy issues.

Spock's dad saying shit about "destiny" and "choosing his path" like shut up this is Star Trek, ya moron.

apple store Aesthetic

Like, Spock's whole planet is destroyed? It goes into a manufactured black hole, or something? And that's NOT the core emotional thrust of the movie? No, this movie is about ""dads"" for some reason. not about the value of life in all its forms. not about discovery. not about the unlikeliness of beauty in an indifferent universe that nevertheless still has so much beauty. not about competing cultures and worldviews and hard to solve puzzles and the work it takes to imagine yourself as truly Other. no--this movie starts with kirk's dad dying and ends with kirk getting fatherly approval. that's the story. not the PLANET that dies. that's incidental! to kirk! being made father-captain by his father-captain after suffering enormously from losing his father-captain!

Dead Mom Trope.

kirk using the Dead Mom Trope to make Spock (famously repressed) Angry

Spock's Narrative Arc being about embracing his "human”-ness in the clumsiest way possible

the valuing of a "Gut Feeling" over anything else (gosh that sounds familiar, jj abrams! like maybe it's the sort of gut feeling that surrounds you and penetrates you, and makes you a luminous being, and is actually the Force and this is star wars again, damn)

not Weird enough

why is chekov there

why did this turn into a gun fight

Uhura deserved so much better it makes me sick. like i want to throw up about it.

when they escaped the event horizon of a singularity with a bomb. i mean... fuck off?

(i realize tv star trek would do something like that, too, but they would EARN it)

The Whole Plot.

Things that I really liked about the 2009 star trek movie:

when Spock declines admission to the Vulcan Science Academy and does this:

and then walks off to some nice rhythm guitar.

#basically i just like it everytime spock is a bit of a bitch #actually #basically i just like spock #star trek #star trek 2009