#barbi.trc

[miseria-fortes-viros]

fuck dating apps i want to meet someone the old fashioned way (you’re walking your bike up the last hill into town wearing your school uniform. i’m hanging out the passenger side window of my best friend’s car. your hands are beautiful. we know nothing about each other. you disappear in the rear view mirror. i close my eyes and send up a simple, inexplicable, desperate prayer to god. i say please. i have never said please in my life)

#the raven cycle #trc #ronan lynch #adam parrish #pynch #helenaposting #greatest hits #barbi.trc

[miseria-fortes-viros]

do u ever think about how niall lynch was a devilishly handsome son of a bitch who was impossible not to like, naturally commanded the attention of everyone in the room, told stories as easily as breathing, ruled over his own particular corner of the world, didn’t even seem real until you knew him, died facedown on a gravel driveway, and then do you ever think about gansey.

#ronan as the knight #his king fell and he pledged his allegiance to a new one #not knowing this one too was slated to die #anyway. anyway #gansey as niall lynch #one as the devil and the other as the king #ANYWAY. #helenaposting #niall lynch #gansey #barbi.trc #trc meta #the raven cycle

[miseria-fortes-viros]

he lets me hit bc i follow him around like a guard dog and i say stupid shit just to see him smile and i drive way over the speed limit bc he wants to so bad but he never will and i stay up with him when he can’t sleep and we share a carton of orange juice and he looks like a prince in the middle of a dollar general at three in the morning and he leans back on the headrest and the dashboard lights turn his throat green and the bite of possibility is so urgently present i can feel the teeth sinking into my throat and i wonder if mine looks green to him too if he’s even looking and the car is so quiet until he says when i’m gone dream me the world something new for every night and it rips my heart out of my chest because i want him to stay or i want to go with him i just want to be by his side and there are a thousand things i want to say but i don’t say anything i just want him to come back please come back i promise i’ll be better i. where was i going with this

#the raven cycle #ronsey #ronan lynch #richard gansey iii #helenaposting #they make me so insane i’m sorry #greatest hits #containment breach #barbi.trc

[miseria-fortes-viros]

me and the bad bitch i didn’t pull even though i gave him presents and free beer and called him slurs and taught him how to dream and told him my deepest darkest secrets (i killed my father and my best friend is a homonculus) and compared him to a dog and kidnapped his brother and killed myself in front of him to forever alter the trajectory of his life

#the raven cycle #trc #ronan lynch #joseph kavinsky #rovinsky #the dream thieves #helenaposting #greatest hits #barbi.trc

[miseria-fortes-viros]

the lynch brothers are so funny to me bc they’re like.

1. ancient demon god in a skin suit who births monsters and craves violence

2. homunculus with no internal organs and an innate desire to walk to an unknown destination

3. declan

#the raven cycle #trc #ronan lynch #the lynch brothers #declan lynch #matthew lynch #td3 #the dreamer trilogy #helenaposting #barbi.trc

[miseria-fortes-viros]

what if your best friend was annoying. what if he took every opportunity he had to make fun of you. what if he kept trying to pick off your scabs even when you pushed him away. what if you caught him looking at your bruises for too long. what if he hated your girlfriend. what if your best friend took you to a magical place and spoke to the forest. what if you recognized his messy handwriting scratched into a boulder. what if he drove you home. and again. and again.

what if he lingered in the driveway too long and watched your father’s fist land. what if in the time it took you to fall and smash your head on the railing he was there. what if it took three cops to pull him off of your father. what if he snarled like a dog and the look in his eyes was wild but he still managed to check if you were okay while they shoved him in the back of the cop car. what if you finally told them the truth about your father to keep your best friend out of jail.

what if your best friend could take things out of his head and make them real. what if he almost never slept because he was afraid of what he would wake up with. what if your best friend went to mass every sunday to apologize to god and he told you the nuns had an apartment they would rent to you for cheap. what if it was cold and cramped and bare but for the first time you slept somewhere without fear. what if your best friend knocked on your door most nights and slept on your floor. what if you thought it was because he knew you kept a gun somewhere and you didn’t want to think about what else it might mean.

what if your best friend started hanging out with someone awful. what if he stayed out all night racing and drinking and doing god knows what with this guy. what if you wanted him dead. what if you had a hand in his death. what if you couldn’t bring yourself to feel bad about it because your best friend was safe sleeping on your floor again. what if your best friend asked you for help. what if he took you back to the church and you could just imagine him in there with his family before it broke. what if he closed his eyes and turned ideas tangible in one of the pews and you thought maybe there were two gods in this church. what if he looked at you like he thought there were three. what if the nightmares got him. what if your best friend bled out on the floor while you held him and panicked. what if you watched him take his last breath. what if you looked up and he was watching you cradle his head from where he sat on the altar. what if the scope of his power hit you just then. what if he told you to leave and you did. what if you let him dispose of his own corpse alone. what if you sat on your bed unable to stop thinking about the blood dripping from his mouth.

what if once you started noticing the curve of his lips and the cut of his cheekbones you couldn’t stop. what if you’d never truly felt safe in your life except when he was with you. what if your best friend was tall and strong and sharp and cruel and he made you smile like nobody else could. what if you were quiet and calculating but he made you loud and reckless. what if he radiated danger but you trusted no one else to walk behind you. what if everyone else kept forgetting which ear your father deafened you in but your best friend always remembered.

what if you went up to his childhood bedroom at the house where his father died and looked at all of his old things. what if you sat on his bed and thought about all the times he must have woken up staring death in the face. what if you looked up and he was standing in the doorway. what if he came over and sat beside you. what if there were bad memories here but also good ones. what if when he finally kissed you he did it slowly and carefully like he knew he was devilishly handsome at best and terrifying at worst. what if his big strong hands held you like he thought you might fall apart and you couldn’t remember the last time someone had touched you so softly. what if he left after that because he knew you would have a lot to think about. what if you went back to him that night and kissed him like you were starving for it. what if the second room you slept in without fear was also the second room your best friend had given you.

what if something demonic invaded your body. what if it used your eyes to spy and your hands to manipulate. what if the most important thing in the world was your autonomy. what if the demon knew it and made you sit helplessly as it stole it from you. what if it let you see just enough. what if your hands closed around your best friend’s throat and there was nothing you could do to stop them. what if you begged him to fight back. what if he just kept looking at you even as his lips turned blue. what if his hands still held you with love even while he was dying in yours.

what if the demon released you. what if you couldn’t stand by yourself. what if your best friend kept you up. what if you fell back against his chest and his arms kept you from falling and he whispered in your good ear something meant only for you and you gave in and began to cry. what if the bruises circled his neck for weeks. what if you could see the shape of your thumbs on his throat and couldn’t bear to look at it. what if you wouldn’t blame him if he never wanted you near him again. what if he kissed your fingers instead.

what if you thought you never wanted love or a home or a family. what if your best friend gave you all three. what if you woke up with his arms around you in the house where his father died and he made you breakfast and you laughed over coffee and his little girl gave you sticks and leaves and his bird gave you bottle caps. what if you wanted to go to college but you didn’t want to leave and he wanted you to go but he wanted you to stay. what if nobody had ever wanted you to stay before. what if you never thought you’d have anything worth coming home to. what if you never thought you’d call anywhere home. what if your best friend gave you an apartment. what if he gave you his home. what if he gave you his heart.

#and then what if u broke up with him while he was in a coma #oops!! still bitter about td3 pynch #the raven cycle #trc #pynch #adam parrish #ronan lynch #helenaposting #barbi.trc #barbi.doc

[miseria-fortes-viros]

you spend years trying to save your best friend’s life for reasons you can’t understand because you don’t even know he’s going to die but you feel like you need to save him anyway. you think if he does die it will be your fault. so you follow him around and snap at anyone who looks at him wrong and devote yourself to him completely like a fighting dog to its master. and in the end it’s him who dies to save you and you didn’t even get to tell him how much he meant to you

#hi im on my ronsey bullshit again. #the raven cycle #ronsey #helenaposting #barbi.trc #dog motif

[miseria-fortes-viros]

hey anyone catch on to the fact that ronan’s first words to gansey in the whole series are “i thought you were dead in a ditch” and then gansey literally dies in a ditch. what the hell and fuck. mstief spoiled it in chapter fucking two

#the raven cycle #trc #helenaposting #greatest hits #barbi.trc

[miseria-fortes-viros]

richard gansey III: the king

blue sargent: the page of cups

ronan lynch: the sword

noah czerny: the sacrifice

adam parrish: the magician

the raven boys, chapter eleven

#the raven cycle #trc #richard gansey #richard gansey iii #gansey #blue sargent #ronan lynch #noah czerny #adam parrish #the raven boys #helenaposting #trc quotes #barbi.trc #trc meta

[miseria-fortes-viros]

ronan lynch with knuckle tats that say ADAM (professionally done on his left hand bc that’s the one adam always holds) and BLUE (shitty stick and poke on his right hand bc he and blue got ridiculously drunk one time and thought it would be funny)

#the raven cycle #trc #the dreamer trilogy #tdt #ronan lynch #adam parrish #pynch #blue sargent #bronan #helenaposting #greatest hits #barbi.trc

[miseria-fortes-viros]

he lets me hit bc im strange and unsettling. and im mean to him also

#helenaposting #yes this is abt adam parrish #adam parrish #the raven cycle #haha #barbi.trc

[miseria-fortes-viros]

was thinking about the dreaming tree in trb that shows you your worst nightmares and. ronan doesn’t go in—later revealed that this is because he not only knows what it does but also what he’ll see—but his worst nightmare is bringing back wasps. killing gansey. blue sees herself dangerously close to kissing gansey, fulfilling her curse, also killing gansey. richard “he imagined [finding glendower] might feel a lot like dying” gansey sees himself finding glendower. but adam. we’re never expressly told what he sees, only that gansey’s dead and it’s his fault and ronan hates him for it and he hates himself for it too. the difference is subtle but important. the others see the action. adam sees the end result. the others are afraid of killing gansey. adam is too, but that’s not his worst fear. adam’s worst fear is becoming like his father

#anyway! #the raven cycle #adam parrish #trc #the raven boys #helenaposting #barbi.trc

[miseria-fortes-viros]

if trc took place in the 80s ronan would have the sickest mohawk known to man send post

#helenaposting #barbi.trc #the raven cycle #ronan lynch

[miseria-fortes-viros]

-> declan bringing ashley to monmouth. ashley, the raven boys, chapter 4. (we’re meant to look pretty for her.)

this is one of the first chapters where we really get to know a lot about our characters, and ashley being there—combined with adam suddenly being aware that they are observed when it’s clear he didn’t feel that way immediately preceding the start of the book—lead me to believe that the fourth wall is very thin here.

-> ashley, this is noah, can you see him?

ashley is one of the only characters outside of the gangsey themselves who is not only able to see noah but also to meet and interact with him.

-> (your hands are cold. (i’ve been dead for seven years.))

ashley is also the first person that noah says this to within the confines of the narrative himself. nobody is surprised when he says this, so clearly he does make these jokes a lot, but it’s significant that we, the reader, hear this for the first time when it’s directed at ashley—ashley who, like us, just got here and doesn’t (can’t) know the significance of this interaction until after everything is over.

-> adam. (don’t you feel observed? someone is looking in when they weren’t before.) the raven boys, chapter 4.

adam: wary, adam: watchful. adam feels the eyes of the reader when the others do not; adam becomes aware of us as soon as we become aware of him. no sooner is ashley named than adam is introduced; no sooner is ashley introduced than adam is wary of her.

ashley (f, gaelic: aislinn): dream, vision

-> (three ashleys) (three brothers) (three witches) (nine’s very three plus three plus three) (6:21) (3+3:+3)

-> declan started hating me first. it was all because declan loved ronan.

-> this is not the first time

declan lynch was 18 the first time matthew fell asleep (was ronan dead)

-> gansey. where’s ronan? i don’t know. something’s wrong. something’s happened to him. how do you know? i can’t explain. i don’t know. we fought. something’s wrong

he’s your dog, gansey (i can’t help him any more (i’m killing him and i don’t know how to stop))

-> he trusted gansey (he still worried about ronan (he never stopped worrying about ronan))

i want you to meet ashley. yes again it’s a different ashley (i need to check in with you) is ronan around? he shouldn’t be (we’ll fight if he’s there (i need to know how he’s doing (he’ll hate me more for hovering)))

-> ronan please just tell me it won’t happen again i’m doing everything i can to keep you both alive

the brothers lynch (a dreamer (a dream (declan)))

-> half none of declan’s surviving family was real. half a dreamer. half a dream. to lose one is to lose the other (part of ronan died when niall did (part of ronan died when his dreamer did))

ronan lynch was 18 when a demon nearly unmade him (the second time matthew fell asleep (the second time declan almost lost them both at once (was ronan dead)))

-> declan cannot let go (if he lets go who will hang on (who will live without him fighting tooth and nail to keep them))

matthew lynch was 18 when he punched his eldest brother in the face (matthew lynch was 18 the third time declan almost became the last living lynch)

-> was ronan dead

declan bringing ashley to monmouth. ashley, the raven boys, chapter 4. ashley (f, gaelic: aislinn): dream, vision. three ashleys. three brothers. three dreamers. three sleepers. three witches. three murders. nine’s very three plus three plus three

(i look just like my father (so do you (every time i see your blood on my knuckles i remember him dead in the driveway (every time i look at you i see the face of a dead man))))

-> was ronan dead

declan brings ashley to monmouth.

#hi guys. this is not coherent i know. sorry. here’s the ashley-declan-ronan post nobody asked for #the raven cycle #declan lynch #ronan lynch #matthew lynch #the lynch brothers #helenaposting #barbi.trc #trc meta #trc quotes #best of

[miseria-fortes-viros]

the gangsey is like “we have scary dog privileges” & the scary dog is a terrifying godlike entity who is also a gay catholic farmer

#the raven cycle #ronan lynch #haha #helenaposting #barbi.trc

[miseria-fortes-viros]

probably one of my favorite certified ronan lynch hypocrisies that i don’t see people talk about is the fact that he apparently “despises electronics of all types” and yet listens to EDM exclusively. sir

#like this is so funny of him i can’t lie #ronan lynch #the raven cycle #helenaposting #barbi.trc