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angrelysimpping · 2 years

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YODELS REMEMBER CAT BAILEY’S PALE CHILDREN AND THE FACT WE’RE ENGAGED TO THAT SPECIFIC CAT BAILEY

Dnwjkdkfjdnd HES A STINKY CAT MAN BUT BOY DO THE IVORY WRAITH'S PARASITIC CHILDREN LOVE HIM FOR SOME UNGODLY REASON

#mumbling n muttering

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lobstertribe · 1 year

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“SAUNTER” Goldie the Pig hopes that he can qualify for the Porcine Yodeling Championship in Swinetzerland so he can fulfill his dream of perambulating in the Alps! Of course, he still has to learn to yodel! DOODLEWASH January 2023, Day 13. Quickly sketched with a CROSS Bailey fountain pen with PLATINUM Carbon ink and color applied with a PRINCETON brush in a 5” x 7” MINCING MOCKINGBIRD sketchbook. #lobstartstudios @lobstartstudios #tom.brudzinski #dessin #sketch #drawing #croquisrapide #croquis #szkic #crossbaileyfountainpen #crossbailey #platinumcarbonink #watercolor #watercolour #aquarelle #akwarele #akwarela #doodlewash #doodlewashjanuary #doodlewashjanuary2023 #doodlewashjanuary2023day13 #alps #magicalarchipelago #yodeling #yodelingpig (at Magical Archipelago) https://www.instagram.com/p/CnW5Q7NLonb/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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annyonghaseno · 5 years

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alright let’s do this you’re tuned into live screaming with bailey

#wow i love chaos #the FRENCH #i feel like im being threatened by this intro #bailey yodels #album reaction

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maybe-i-like-the-misery · 5 years

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Sanders Sides & others as conversations I've had

Remus: Not touching you, you can't get mad, not touching you, you can't get mad, not touching you, you can't get mad--

Roman: Logan, what are the requirements for a restraining order?

Roman: hey, do you remember the mario movie?

Virgil: of course i do, you look like one of the goombas.

Deceit: stop being so pretentious!

Logan: I'm not... doing it on purpose...

Deceit: yeah, that's the problem

Remus: so I accidentally kidnapped someone--

Patton: yee fucking haw I love cats

Patton: I fell asleep with googly eyes on my forehead

Roman: my eyelashes look good this morning! The rest of me.... not so much

Deceit: be nice to everyone, except for people who owe you money

Emile: I may be smart, but I'm really dumb, y'know?

Remy: stop acting like a whore, that's my job

Logan: not to be political, but BITCH

Remus: when I become leader of the army I'm gonna kill everyone

Emile: Barney the Dinosaur was my first love

Patton, about Logan: he is the yee to my haw

Virgil: the breakfast club exhibits every emotion

Remus: is weed an emotion?

Logan: Virgil, do you have sticky notes?

Virgil: do i look like a functional human being to you?

Logan: no, but that's your problem

Patton: this sounds like an advertisement.... (gasps) *IT IS*

Remus, to Logan: I will bite the nose clean off your face

Virgil: I have no time to be gay right now, I'm tired

Roman: I know Glasgow! It's in an ABBA song

Remus, about Roman: its voice crack central in yodel town

Patton (as a waiter): and our special tonight is Bailey's cheesecake --

Deceit: can you remove the cheesecake

Patton: I -- pardon?

Roman: don't you shush me, straight boy

Logan: I need an icy cold glass of water to drown my sorrows in

Roman: I'm not one for kinkshaming, but anyone who gets turned on by fruit has a few loose screws

Roman: I need it to be ugly so it can balance out my overwhelming talent and beauty

Virgil: or so it can match

Roman, about pre-AA Virgil: his eyebrows are.... untrustworthy

Virgil: I drank bleach once, but I didn't die. I'm still disappointed

Teacher! Logan: if you want to come into school on Saturday, do not leave in the next two minutes! We start at half past six

Roman: because I'm your favourite student can I be excused?

Teacher! Logan: ....

Teacher! Logan: for you we start at quarter past five

Roman: what's your favourite idea? Mine is being creative!

Remus: i like the thoughts of burnt flesh

Logan: where are my glasses?!??

Virgil: I ate them

Logan: oh okay.

Logan: did you also eat my will to live?

Virgil: no, I only eat the things that actually exist

Roman: I'd rather pretend to be overconfident than be honest about how unconfident I really am

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uneasylisteningradio · 4 years

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Audio & Playlist for August 28, 2020: California

924 Gilman St.

Songs about California EXCLUDING LA. Because i hate LA ok actually I have never been there. It’s because LA/Hollywood has enough songs for its own show actually. Here’s to hoping we still have a California going forward.

mixcloud

link to downloadable audio Playlist: The Undertones - When Saturday Comes Klaatu - California Jam

--DJ speaks over Os Tremendões - California Dreamin'--

Channel 3 - Manzanar Shopping - Santa Monica Place Margo Guryan - California Shake Woody Guthrie - Do-Re-Mi

--DJ speaks over George Benson - California Dreamin'--

The Five Americans - Disneyland Eyes - Disneyland Hoyt Axton - San Fernando Crime - San Francisco's Doomed The Fun and Games - Close to Carmel Murphy's Law- California Pipeline Kasenetz-Katz-Super-Circus - Up In the Air Ill Repute - Oxnard

--DJ speaks over Baby Huey - California Dreamin'--

Curt Boettcher - Bobby California The Calliope - California Dreaming Sick Bags - Die in California Green Bailey - The Santa Barbara Earthquake Jan & Dean - The Anaheim, Azusa and Cucamonga Sewing Circle, Book Review and Timing Association

--DJ speaks over Wes Montgomery - California Dreamin'--

Jack Kerouac & Steve Allen - October in the Railroad Earth The Skunks - Earthquake Shake Voetsek - Back To The Bay Shocking Blue - California Here I Come The Four Preps - 26 Miles (Santa Catalina) Jawbreaker - West Bay Invitational

--DJ speaks over The Soulful Strings - California Dreamin'--

Sly & The Family Stone - Luv n' Haight Randy S & Westwood Paper - Haight-Ashbury Blues Culturcide - California Punks hickey - California Redemption The Sweet - Santa Monica Sunshine

Jimmie Rodgers - Blue Yodel No. 4 (California Blues) Chicago- South California Purples (Remastered) The Ohio Express - Sausalito (Is the Place to Go)

Code of Honor - Attempted Control The Monkees - California Here It Comes

#radio #community radio #college radio #wprb #california #punk #surf #glam rock #pop punk #folk music #music #mix #playlist #vinyl

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meatsound · 6 years

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i was tagged by @summer-fire for this so !

Rules: We’re snooping on your playlist. Put your entire music library in shuffle and list the first ten songs, then choose ten victims.

Partita for 8 Singers: No. 1. Allemande//Caroline Shaw, Roomful of Teeth

Linda Ronstadt//AJJ

White Tooth Man//Iron & Wine

Twilight//Electric Light Orchestra

Cowboy Yodel//Pete Seeger (dont @ me)

This Must Be The Place//Talking Heads

untitled//silver mt. zion

Justice Delivers Its Death//Sufjan Stevens

Blaise Bailey Finnegan III//Godspeed You! Black Emperor

Please Come Home To Hamngatan//The Mountain Goats

uhhh everyone i would usually tag was already tagged so LOL thanks colleen

#this actually basically encompasses my entire music taste lmao #white tooth man is ehhhhhh ill listen its a good album but most everything else is spot on lmfao

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bryndeavour · 6 years

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RULES: We’re snooping on your playlist. Set your entire music library on shuffle and report the first 10 songs that pop up. Then choose 10 some victims. @unfortunateshape tagged me! I so rarely get tagged in things so thank you!

So my problem is I alternate through several playlists.. >.>;;;; I’ll use the one I’m on right now. I will link my spotify account in case anyone wants to look at my playlists tho: It Me

1. Bedroom Hymns - Florence + The Machine

2. Nightingale - Dirt Poor Robbins

3. Post Blue - Placebo

4. I Want It All - Arctic Monkeys

5. Fool For You (feat. Phillip Bailey) - CeeLo Green

6. Taste of Ink - The Used

7. Seattle Yodel - Gorillaz

8. Shadow Stabbing - Cake

9. Feel It Still (”Weird Al” Remix) - Portugal & Weird Al

10. Improper Dancing - Electric Six

I don’t think I have 10 people I can think of to tag so lemme wing it...

@helila, @haintxblue, @kiches, @starpatched, @gingerpop42, @ellixis, @theinsanesinger, @george-fancys, @ithums, @hanginggallow

#playlist #tagging people #my active mutuals and beloved friends

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unexplainedthings · 6 years

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Today in Strangeness

On this date in 1902, Dr. Eugene-Louis Doyen of Paris surgically separated Radica and Doodica, Siamese twins from the Barnum and Bailey Circus. The operation was initially considered a success, but both girls died within a year of the procedure. Thomas Scholl of Munich issued the world's fastest yodel-- 22 tones (15 falsetto) within one second (1992).

#today in strangeness #today #in #strangeness

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nick-trimble-blog · 4 years

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Nick Trimble - About the most enjoyable interpreters of song are Jazz singers. The abilities of the human voice is phenomenal in the truth that one could imitate another person or instrument, or sing several octaves on the piano. The human voice can also interpret emotion in a way only a person can. Jazz instruments can show emotion, but the natural gift from inside the human voice is conveyed in a variety of ways. To Illustrate, each singer has his or her own style they have. Some of them may not be the best singers that Simon Cowell would compliment. Still, the're many Jazz legends and people like them who have their own individual unique style. The je ne sias quoi x factor of a voice that is distinct, yet pleasing to the ears. The Jazz singers who have this quality have been heard in many clubs, and recordings a long time ago. These Jazz Legends have helped make Jazz music popular especially with the use of the voice. There are four various types of Jazz singers that made it internationally of Jazz music. One style is the well-known crooner noise from singers like Ivie Anderson, Harry Connick Jr., Mel Torme` Michael Buble`, Tony Bennett, Billy Eckstine, Mildred Bailey, Michael Kaczurak, Sathima Bea Benjamin, Frank Sinatra, Peggy Lee, Johnny Hartman, Bing Crosby, and Nat King Cole. The signature element of the crooner reasonable is a voice with a smooth and sophisticated resonance manufactured for the microphone as clear as a radio announcers speaking voice. Another style of Vocal Jazz Singers is the soulful bluesy seem with Singers such as Diane Schuur, Nina Simone, Bessie Smith, Etta James, Della Reese, and more. The soulful sound of voice is the skill of ornamentation of the voice running up and down the scale with ease. Bluesy and soulful is also a depth in the range of the voice that appear as if it comes direction from the soul. The're Jazz music Virtuoso's who have the skills to do anything from vocalese to scat to ballad to fast and complex in perfection. The Jazz singers of this category are Ella Fitzgerald, Phoebe Snow, Eva Cassidy, Ernestine Anderson, Betty Carter, Taxicab Calloway, Sammy Davis Jr., Eddie Jefferson, Bobby McFerrin Jr., Jon Hendricks, Slim Gaillard, Rachelle Ferrell, Annie Ross, Etta Jones, Dame Cleo Laine, Sarah Vaughn, Carmen Mercedes McRae, Mabel Mercer, Nikoletta Szoke, and Nancy Wilson. The Virtuoso can croon a ballad and articulate it in a unique way. The virtuoso Jazz singer can also be strong and sassy and scat in great complexity without any problem. There is undoubtedly that the virtuoso Jazz singer is the entire embodiment of what Jazz is about. The last type of vocalist has an ethereal appeal that seems to come out of another place with uniqueness in noise, and acceptable to the world of Jazz. The unique style of Jazz singers is a sound that one doesn't typically hear. For example, the uniqueness can originate from the seem quality of the voice or by doing something that sets the Jazz singer on an unusual plane than its competitors. Singers of this category are Amos Leon Thomas, Billy Holiday, Lee Wiley, Blossom Dearie, Shirley Horne, Rita Reys, Eartha Kitt, Anita O'Day, Ray Reach, Ethel Waters, Monica Zetterlund, Jimmy Rushing, Louis Armstrong, Cassandra Wilson, Al Jarreau, and Dennis Rowland. Each one has a particular good of raspy, lush, high pitched, yodeling, vibrato, or gift of humor. There are also the typical Jazz singers who deserve to be in the spotlight also for having what it takes to make it successfully in Jazz.

#NIcholas Trimble #Nick Trimble #NickTrimble #singer #Jazz singers #The Magic of Jazz Singers | Nick Trimble

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852recordstores · 5 years

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Disc: 1 1. Foggy Mountain Breakdown - Lester Flatt & Earl Scruggs 2. Blue Moon Of Kentucky - Bill Monroe & His Bluegrass Boys 3. I\x{2019}m A Man Of Constant Sorrow - The Stanley Brothers 4. Last Train To San Fernando - Johnny Duncan & His Bluegrass Boys 5. I\x{2019}m Gone, Long Gone - Reno & Smiley 6. Poor Ellen Smith - Molly O\x{2019}Day & The Cumberland Mountain Folks 7. She\x{2019}s Just A Cute Thing - Jimmy Martin & The Osborne Brothers 8. Are You Walking And A-Talking For The Lord - Wilma Lee & Stoney Cooper with The Clinch Mountain Clan 9. Going Like Wildfire - Mac Wiseman 10. Pain In My Heart - The Lonesome Pine Fiddlers 11. I Cried Again - Jim Eanes & The Shenandoah Valley Boys 12. Tenessee Boy - Frank Hunter & His Black Mountain Boys 13. I\x{2019}m Gonna Leave You - Sonny Osborne 14. Y\x{2019}All Come - Bill Monroe & His Bluegrass Boys 15. Get In Line Brother - Lester Flatt & Earl Scruggs 16. Beautiful Brown Eyes - The Bailey Brothers & The Happy Valley Boys 17. Too Late To Cry - The Stanley Brothers 18. He Will Set Your Fields On Fire - Carl Story & His Rambling Mountaineers 19. Higher In My Prayer - Molly O\x{2019}Day & The Cumberland Mountain Folks 20. Something Got Hold Of Me - The Bailes Brothers 21. Tennessee Cut-Up Breakdown - Reno & Smiley 22. Garden In The Sky - The Blue Sky Boys 23. Dreaming Of A Little Cabin - Mac Wiseman 24. Are You Missing Me? - Jim & Jesse & The Virginia Boys 25. Will The Circle Be Unbroken? - Brown\x{2019}s Ferry Four. Disc: 2 1. Orange Blossom Special - Bill Monroe & His Bluegrass Boys 2. Cotton-Eyed Joe - The Stanley Brothers 3. Roll In My Sweet Baby\x{2019}s Arms - Lester Flatt & Earl Scruggs 4. When I Safely Reach That Other Shore - Tommy Magness & His Tennessee Buddies 5. Sunny Side Of The Mountain - Wilma Lee & Stoney Cooper 6. Tomorrow May Be Different - Jim Eanes & The Shenandoah Valley Boys 7. Lonesome Pine Breakdown - The Lonesome Pine Fiddlers 8. Radio Boogie - L.C. Smith, Ralph Mayo & The Southern Mountain Boys 9. Crazy Finger Blues - Reno & Smiley 10. The Tramp On The Street - Molly O\x{2019}Day & The Cumberland Mountain Folks 11. Don\x{2019}t Get Above Your Raisin\x{2019} - Lester Flatt & Earl Scruggs 12. The Fields Have Turned Brown - The Stanley Brothers 13. Molly And Tenbrooks (The Race Horse Song) - Bill Monroe & His Bluegrass Boys 14. Going Back To Old Kentucky - Hobo Jack Adkins 15. Twenty One Years - The Lonesome Pine Fiddlers 16. \x{2019}Tis Sweet To Be Remembered - Mac Wiseman 17. Florida Blues - Jim Eanes & The Shenandoah Valley Boys 18. Little Birdie - Wade Mainer & His Trio 19. I Like The Old Time Way - Shannon Grayson & His Golden Valley Boys 20. Doin\x{2019} My Time - Lester Flatt & Earl Scruggs 21. This Little Glass Of Wine - The Stanley Brothers 22. Happy Valley Special - The Bailey Brothers 23. Lonesome, Sad And Blue - The Lonesome Pine Fiddlers 24. Long Time, No See - Frank Hunter & His Black Mountain Boys 25. Blue Yodel No.1 (’T’ For Texas) Jim Eanes and his Shenandoah Valley Boys Release Date: 1 Jan 2008

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gaiatheorist · 7 years

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Forgive them, Aldi, they know not what they do.

(There’s a new Aldi supermarket near me, I made the monumental mistake of going just over a week after opening, when the novelty-customers were still there.)

1- If you don’t know what it is, you probably don’t want it. It’s not as bad as Lidl, where a lot of the labels are not in English, but wandering across the shop, yodelling “Barbara, Barbara, what’s this?” is a fairly clear indication that you don’t need it.

2- There isn’t a crocodile chasing you. As much as Rickon Stark might have benefited from not running in a straight line, zig-zag paths around the shop will not endear you to your fellow customers. If you can’t scan both sides of the aisle at the same time, walk up one side, and down the other.

3- Yes, it IS only 89p. No, it’s not Cadbury’s. Either put it in the trolley, or don’t, it’s only 89p, for fuck’s sake, don’t stand there in the middle of the aisle, yodelling to Barbara about it, I will take your bastard ankles out with my trolley.

4- The stock is refreshed more frequently than your usual supermarket, you’re not going to get an extra couple of days of use-by through rifling to the back of the cabinet. You’re also the reason that every fucker else has to check produce for damaged packaging and bruising, with your pokey-proddy-rummaging.

5- Your trolley. Where’s your shitting trolley? After you caused a massive queue in the doorway, through not realising you needed a pound coin to unlock the trolley, you’ve gone and left it sprawled diagonally across an aisle. Don’t be surprised to find a torn-open pack of frozen prawns, 3 boxes of flavoured condoms, and some light-bulbs I may or may not have sat on in there.

6- Sandra, you’re not going to buy the shop’s entire stock of fresh meat, so why the everloving fuck have you parked your trolley so protectively in front of the chiller cabinet? Nobody else can get to the display while you phone Bob on your mobile, to ask him if he likes lamb chops or pork chops, if you don’t MOVE, I will punch you in the chops.

7- Stop juggling. I know you’re used to the other supermarket, where you don’t have to put a pound coin in the trolley, but if you want more than a couple of items, you can’t carry the fucking things in the crook of your elbow.

8- Velociraptor-twats. Just fucking stop it, you, the shitehouse who reached over me to peck-and-grab a pack of sausage-rolls, and YOU, the bargey-cunt who shoved past me to shuffle in amongst the sandwich meat, even though they’re all the fucking same. Stop that, or I’ll kick you square up the chuff.

9- No, it’s not ‘proper’ Baileys, it’s Faileys, and £10 less expensive, do you want it, or not?

10- Up one side of the aisle, down the other, until you get your trainer-wheels off, and you can steamroll straight down the middle like me. This one’s aimed at the designers of the shop, who double-wide spaced every aisle except the last one, chilled goods, and alcohol. All the cunts who didn’t know how to Aldi snagged up in that last aisle, forwards, backwards, diagonally, yelling for Barbara, and leaving their trolleys. I just wanted bastard gin, having given up all hope of being able to reach anything else.

11- Yes, you do have to pay for the bags, you have to pay for the bags everywhere, now, unless you’re like me, and have a stash of canvas bags in your bag. Fuck, I love Tim Minchin.

12- Yes, the checkout operators do scan things quite quickly, which is why I remember to load the conveyor belt carefully, with gin, and eggs last.

13- You have to pack your own bags, due to point 12. Don’t try to pack as the shopping is being scanned, see point 12. There are benches, away from the checkouts, for you to pack on, don’t stand at the end of the checkout trying to pack, or every other person in the queue for the checkout will make you eat your own eyeballs, because you’re holding them up.

14- I forgot to buy light-bulbs.

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placetobenation · 4 years

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Home on the Range

Release Date: April 2nd, 2004

Inspiration: N/A

Budget: $110 million

Domestic Gross: $50 million

Worldwide Gross: $145.5 million

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 53%

IMDB Score: 5.4/10

Storyline (per IMDB): Alameda Slim (Randy Quaid), a wanted cattle rustler, uses an alias to buy up properties all over western Nebraska, and his next target is the Patch of Heaven dairy farm, where the widow owner cares more for her “family” of yard animals than she does for profit. She just doesn’t have the cash to keep in business or to prevent Slim from taking her farm. The animals, mainly carefree youngsters, are unable to help, however, three cows of very different temperaments rise to the desperate occasion and set out to do battle for their dream home. They team up with the Sheriff’s megalomaniac horse and any other animal who can possibly help, even a crazy lucky rabbit and an invincible buffalo.

Pre-Watching Thoughts: We continue on through the 2000s with another film that I’ve never seen before and to be perfectly honest, my hopes for this one are not too high sadly simply because of how poorly the last few films have done. As I usually do, I am going in optimistic that perhaps the film will surprise me and I will enjoy it very much, and hopefully things start to turn around with this film.

Voice Cast: In the last film, we had practically a whole new batch of actors take part in the film while there were a few returning actors in minor roles, and the same holds true here as we once again have a predominantly new cast. We did have a few actors return including Patrick Warburton who voices Patrick the horse and also Estelle Harris who voices Audrey the chicken, but again these are just minor roles as the new cast take up the main characters. We start off with Roseanne Barr who voices Maggie in one of her few film roles, and then we have Dame Judi Dench who voices Mrs. Caloway in one of her few appearances in an animated film. Next, we have Jennifer Tilly who voices Grace as she was hitting her stride with her career by this point, and then we have Cuba Gooding Jr. who voices Buck as he was also hitting the stride of his career at this point. We then have Randy Quaid who voices Alameda Slim as he was starting to wind down his career by this point, and then we have Charles Dennis who voices Rico in one of his few film roles in his career. Next, we have Charles Haid who voices Lucky Jack as he was also starting to wind down his career as well, and then we have Carole Cook who voices Pearl in one of the last film roles of her career. We then have Joe Flaherty who voices Jeb in his final film role before moving onto a career in teaching, and then we have Steve Buscemi who voices Wesley as he was at the peak of his career at this point. Next, we have Richard Riehle who voices Sheriff Sam Brown as he was hitting his stride in his career at this point, and then we have Lance LeGault who voices Junior in one of his final film roles of his career. We then have G.W. Bailey who voices Rusty as he was starting to wind down his career by this point, and then we have Dennis Weaver who voices Abner in his second-to-last film role as he would pass away two years later. Next, we have Sam J. Levine who voices the Willie Brothers in minor roles and finally we have Ann Richards who voices Annie in one of her few film roles. This was a case where we have a solid number of big stars in a film as opposed to one big name and a few slightly big names, and we will see which way future films are cast as we keep going forward.

Hero/Prince: To be perfectly honest, we have had a recent string of subpar heroes after having some strong ones in the 1990s, and it’s not the complete fault of these last few heroes as they have just not stacked up well. Sadly, that trend does continue here as our hero to talk about is the former prize cow Maggie who is brought to Patch of Heaven to live, and after the animals learn of the farm’s future fate Maggie decides to get them the money with the help of Mrs. Caloway and Grace. They learn that the reward money for the capture of Slim is enough to save the farm so they decide to capture him, and they come across a herd of steers that is captured by Slim though they manage to escape. After some tension between the three, they meet Lucky Jack who leads them to Slim’s hideout and they free the steers though Slim escapes, and they follow him to the farm which he tries to buy in disguise though they expose him and he is captured as Maggie becomes a member of the farm. Maggie is an interesting character in that she has lived the high life as a show cow and is willing to show off to the other animals at the farm, and she is often at odds with Caloway though they eventually become friends. She is loud, bombastic, and slightly obnoxious, but she clearly cares about the farm to the point that she would risk her life to save it, and while she is a fine hero for the film she is probably the weakest hero to this point.

Princess: N/A

Villain: Similar to the heroes of these last few films, the villains have also been pretty tepid and we have seen a major downgrade in the quality of the villains, and that trend doesn’t end here as we have the outlaw cattle rustler Alameda Slim. He travels the countryside stealing cattle from various ranches that he used to work at with the help of his nephews the Willie Brothers, and then he buys the ranches at auction under the alias of Yancy O’Dell to fully complete his revenge on those he feel has wronged him. After stealing close to 5,000 steers, he heads to Patch of Heaven as O’Dell to purchase the farm at auction only for Maggie, Caloway, and Grace to stop him, and they reveal his true identity and he is arrested with the cows receiving the $750 bounty on him. We have had some pretty basic villains to this point and some very memorable ones, but Slim is certainly not memorable at all and is about as basic of a villain as you could get with his only unique feature is being able to yodel and puts cows in a trance. He is possibly one of the worst villains that we’ve had to this point and it will be interesting to see if he ends up being the worst or if there are any others worse than him.

Other Characters: As has become the norm with these films, we have a large group of characters though only a handful of them really play a major role in the film and the rest are just background players. We first have the pair of Mrs. Caloway and Grace who live at the farm with Caloway acting as the leader and Grace who is innocent but simple minded, and when Maggie decides to try and save the farm they go with her. They go off to capture Slim and are nearly captured themselves only for Grace to save them due to her being tone deaf and she is immune to Slim’s yodel, and Caloway ultimately decides to go back to the farm though Grace and Maggie convince her to help when Lucky Jack leads them to the hideout. They rescue the steers and stop Slim from buying the farm as they reveal his identity and are hailed as heroes. We then have Buck the horse who is conceited and selfish as he doesn’t care about the animals or their troubles, and he is chosen by Rico to chase after Slim though he is to be sent back to the Sheriff and he decides to go after Slim himself. He is beaten to the hideout by the cows and after Rico is revealed to be in collusion with Slim, he joins the cows in saving the steers and becomes a hero. Next, we have Rico the bounty hunter who tells the Sheriff that he will capture Slim and he takes Buck with him, but it is revealed that he is in cahoots with Slim and Buck turns on him as he joins the cows in stopping him and the Willie Brothers. We then have Lucky Jack the rabbit who meets the cows and cooks for them as he reveals the hideout of Slim, and he joins the cows and Buck in defeating the Willie Brothers and Rico as well as saving the steers. Jack and Buck then help the cows reach the farm in time to stop Slim and Jack becomes a part of the family. Next, we have Pearl who owns the Patch of Heaven farm and she is threatened with having her farm auctioned off unless she comes up with $750, and during the auction Slim is caught and captured as the cows receive the $750 which they use to save the farm and Pearl welcomes new animals to the farm. We then have Sheriff Sam who is sympathetic to Pearl but has to let her know that her farm is being threatened with auction, and he ends up hosting the auction until the cows reveal Slim out of his disguise and he arrests Slim which leads to the farm receiving the $750 and Pearl being able to save the farm. We then have other minor characters on the farm like Jeb the goat, Audrey the chicken, and the various other animals in the film, and then we have other minor characters like Wesley the evil businessman in business with Slim, Junior the buffalo that guards Slim’s hideout, Rusty the dog who is owned by Sam, Maggie’s former owner Abner, Annie the owner of the saloon, and the Willie Brothers who are the nephews and henchmen of Slim. This was an interesting film in that the majority of the film was focused on three specific characters and the others were either minor or again just background, and again we will see going forward if that trend continues.

Songs: Once again, we have a film where I didn’t thought have any songs in it and instead it does have a few songs in it, and much like the last film the songs mainly take up space in the background as none of the characters sing anything. The first song we have is “(You Ain’t) Home on the Range” sung in the beginning and picked up a bit throughout the film, and it was a fine film to establish the setting of the film. The next song is “Patch of Heaven” which is sung when we arrive at Patch of Heaven and it was a fine film to put over the wholesomeness of the farm, and then we have “Yodel-Adel-Eedle-Idle-Oo” that Slim sings to draw the cattle to him and it is again a fine song as it is rare to hear a villain sing a song. The final song to be sung is “Will the Sun Ever Rise Again?” which is heard during the down point of the film when everything seems to be lost, and it is a fine but somewhat forgettable song. That has been the theme of these last few films where the songs have been fine for their specific films, but in the grand scheme of things they are very forgettable and pale in comparison to the songs of the past.

Plot: We continue the trend of having original stories taken precedent over films being adapted from something else, and to this point the original stories have been slightly off the mark and that looks to continue here with the story of this film. In this film, Maggie is a former show cow who is forced to leave her ranch after the steers were stolen and the ranch went under, and her former owner delivers her to Patch of Heaven though that ranch is also in trouble of going up for auction. Maggie convinces fellow cows Mrs. Caloway and Grace to head into town and convince the sheriff to give them more time, and when they hear that the reward money for Alameda Slim is the exact amount that they need to save the ranch they decide to go after him. They merge themselves into a cattle run that Slim happens upon and he steals all the cattle except for the three cows, and they continue to go after him as well as Buck the horse who wants to capture Slim to make himself a hero. Caloway eventually decides to want to go back home though they come upon Lucky Jack the rabbit who leads them to Slim’s hideout, and they fight back against Slim though he manages to escape thanks to bounty hunter Rico who is in league with him. Buck joins the cows and they take out Rico and Slim’s henchmen while setting the cattle free, and they return to the farm just as Slim attempts to buy it during the auction under a fake name. They expose him and the sheriff arrests him as he gives the reward money to the farm, and they begin to prosper as the animals win 1st prize in the county fair and they are joined by several new animals. Again, the story itself was fine for what it was and it worked for the film, but the story was probably one of the weaker ones to this point and it is just another example of how poorly this film ended up being.

Random Watching Thoughts: We get another special version of the logo as it is used like a branding iron; Lucky Jack wakes up for a brand new day and is immediately met by a wolf; Lucky Jack is not feeling too lucky with everything that is happening to him; I feel like $750 is too low of a reward; I wonder if having Maggie tied to the back of the wagon and being led like that would constitute as cruelty; Lucky Jack is lasting a long time with that snake on his head; I don’t mind having puns as they can be funny at the right times, but I feel like they went overboard on the puns in this film; That was a record time for those eggs to hatch; Pearl and these animals have running this farm down to a t; That rooster is terrible at his job if that chick can crow better than he can; Pearl must have some affection for Mrs. Caloway if she went out of her way to give her a hat; That’s not too nice of Jeb to call the piglets “cocktail wieners”; This is an organic problem and there’s a holistic solution, Grace clearly is the most level-headed animal in that farm; Caloway makes it seem like she is scolding the piglets when she is giving them the can from Jeb much to his frustration; Jeb says he doesn’t have enough cans when he has a large pile right next to him; Abner was spot on in calling Maggie “headstrong”; Miss Happy Heifer; Caloway is such a lady that she has to call Maggie by “Margaret”; Apparently Maggie is also a magician; Caloway clearly likes when everyone is neat and tidy; Sam needs some work in keeping Buck in order while he’s riding him; Pearl was quick to blow off the bank statement until she finds out that her farm will be up for auction if she doesn’t pay in time; They never mention where the farm is, but where would it be if they have blizzards?; Sam seems like he truly cares about Pearl and wants to help her, but she flips out on him when he suggests her selling some of her animals for money; I don’t know why, but for some reason Pearl reminds me of Widow Tweed from “The Fox and the Hound”; So right after I mention about not knowing where the farm is, Maggie mentions Chugwater which I looked up and it is a town in Wyoming so that is where the film is set; Even though Maggie is new to the farm, she is more than willing to step up and save it; It’s a chick thing, as in the chickens doing their thing; Grace clearly has no issues with singing to her heart’s content even though she can’t sing worth a lick; The vultures were premature in thinking that one of them was dying; Caloway says that Buck is a legend in his own mind and we see a glimpse into his mind as he fights off numerous outlaws by himself; So much for their game of tic-tac-toe; Various normal noises going on and the cows think they are under attack; They see a star on the door and think that’s the sheriff only to be revealed as a saloon entrance; The entertainment in that saloon must’ve been really bad if the girls fighting with the cows was the best thing the customers have seen in a long time; Unlike the sheriff who seemed to care about Pearl, Buck could care less about them; That should’ve been some foreshadowing that a storm came through the town as Rico arrived; Sam was describing the horse that Rico needs and Buck shows off his skills, but I guarantee that Sam was going to name another horse had Rico not mentioned Buck; Caloway can only take so much, but when her hat gets messed up that’s when you go over the edge; Rusty goes to the lowest common denominator when he sees Maggie and Caloway fight in the mud; That is weird that they just happen to walk past the farm where Maggie used to live; Mr. Y. O’Dell Esq.; Those steers must not have seen many dairy cows for a long time if they are so smitten with Maggie, Caloway, and Grace; How many cattle rustlers can yodel like Slim can?; Of course Grace would be the only one that isn’t hypnotized by Slim since she is tone-deaf; Whoever worked on this film must’ve been influenced by the “Pink Elephants on Parade” scene from Dumbo to do the scene with Slim rounding up the cattle like they did; Slim just happened to find a boulder that perfectly fits in the space to close off the pathway; Of course Grace would think her pitch is perfect; Buck shows off in front of the cows and Rico believes that he is scared of the cows; Buck clearly thinks lowly of the cows yet Grace is willing to let him join them in chasing down Slim; Again, Buck only cares about himself as he wants to prove himself as a hero by catching Slim yet shows no compassion for the cows and is willing to see them lose their farm; Slim has come up with quite the elaborate plan to get revenge on those that he thinks wronged him; That one brother’s head just happens to match the exact land formation that Patch of Heaven has; Slight error here as they have September 24th on a Thursday, but in reality that day in 1889 actually fell on a Tuesday; Buy one, get three free; That is a dick move by Buck; Of course it would start raining which clears away the tracks; You would’ve thought the Great Flood was happening with how much rain was coming down and the cows got caught up in the flood; Caloway was pretty harsh considering it wasn’t Maggie’s choice to go to their farm and then she wanted to help save the farm; Maggie went from being completely apart from Caloway only to end up sleeping next to her; Of all the places to see before you die, you have that strong a desire to see Utah?; It’s not often you see a rabbit with a peg leg; He slices and dices up that scorpion like a chef would do to a piece of meat or fish; Jack kicks at a picture of Slim only to hurt himself on the cactus; The Willie Brothers are clearly not too bright if anytime Slim puts on a hat and pair of glasses, they think he’s a completely different person; Black market livestock; Wesley sure pays top dollar for the cattle; Buck tries to befriend the cows now since they can help him get in, but they see right through him and he is forced to stay out; The buffalo looks like the bouncer of a club; Once again, Buck being manipulative by causing the horse to run away so he can be with Rico again; Slim should’ve realized it wasn’t smart to count the money while the brothers are taking count of the steers; Grace comes up with the idea to use Jack’s tail as makeshift earplugs for Caloway; Would clown college have really been any better for Wesley?; That buffalo is super tough to have survived a fall like that; I feel like the animators were also inspired by “Temple of Doom” with the chase down the mineshaft; How much dynamite did Slim really need?; I can’t believe those three cows were able to stop a moving train even though it was braking; It’s only after he realizes that Rico was in league with Slim that Buck comes to realize that he was in the wrong and decides to do the right thing by helping the cows; Caloway went psycho when Maggie dropped her hat out of the train; Those two steers trying to chase after the train to court the cows; Leave it to Buck to use Jack’s peg leg to flip the switch to save the train; How does Sam not hear that a train is barreling down behind him yet he still tries to auction off the chicks?; Slim nearly gets the better of them again until Grace knocks the bell into his mouth; Maggie was already to keep her end of the bargain and leave until she heard the nice things said about her and she decides to stay; Maggie wasn’t lying when she said that they could all win at the county fair; After all that, Caloway finally decides to let Maggie wear her hat.

Overall Thoughts: Overall, this has to be the worst film in the Disney canon to this point and it wasn’t even close, and we have had some pretty bad films to this point though this is arguably the worst to this point. I know that the films from the 2000s don’t have a stellar reputation and I always go into this films with a positive outlook even though I haven’t seen any of them, but to this point most of them have not changed my initial outlook on them which is really sad. You can call me nostalgic for the older films because I have more love for them than these films, but a few of the films that I’ve not seen before have pleasantly surprised me and I’m hoping that the upcoming films can improve from here. As for this film, it is the worst film in the Disney canon to this point and it will be interesting to see if anything ends up being worse than this.

Final Grade: 2.5/10

#IFTTT #Place to Be Nation

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funnythingshere0-blog · 6 years

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50 of Terry Wogan and Graham Norton's most scathing Eurovision quotes

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50 of Terry Wogan and Graham Norton's most scathing Eurovision quotes

This Saturday marks the 63rd edition of the Eurovision Song Contest, with the Portuguese capital of Lisbon on hosting duties.

A parade of trashy, cringe-inducing performances, the best part of Eurovision has always been the pithy commentary, whether from the late, great Sir Terry Wogan, or from Graham Norton, who replaced his compatriot in 2009.

They have both given the contest a delightfully acerbic edge, poking fun at the expense of those onstage, or sharing the despair of the hours-long telethon with viewers at home.

Here are 50 of the best quotes from the two commentators to get you in the spirit.

• The ultimate Eurovision quiz: do you know your ABBA from your Wurst?

Terry Wogan

On 2006 heavy-metal winners Lordi: “Every year I expect it to be less foolish, and every year it is more so.”

Introducing the 2007 broadcast: “Who knows what hellish future lies ahead? Actually I do, I’ve seen the rehearsals.”

On Iceland’s 1990 entry: “This has been typified as a Eurosong… they do a little walking and bounce about a bit.”

(Photo: BBC)

On the UK’s 1995 effort: “It’ll either win by a mile or it’s the Diadora League next year.”

“Every year I go to see it and every year I say: ‘Isn’t it terrible? It’s worse than last year!’”

On Belgium’s 2003 entry: “They’ve got four languages in Belgium… and they’re singing in an imaginary one. The very essence of Eurovision.”

“It’s supposed to be bad. And the worse it is, the more fun it is.”

On France’s 2006 entry: “That’s the same song the French have been singing since they hung the washing up on the Maginot Line.”

“I don’t make the mistake of thinking it’s a major musical event. I love the Eurovision Song Contest and it will continue long after I’m gone. Just please don’t ask me to take it seriously.”

When the Swedish points announcer struggled with countries’ names in 2008: “It’s not easy this. You have to move your lips and it’s not easy. Are you related to the Director General of Swedish television?”

“Spain is next, with a song called ‘Bloody Mary’. That reminds me, I haven’t touched a drop yet.”

(Photo: BBC)

During the 2002 show: “I don’t know about you, I’m going to have a stiff drink.”

“It’s been 29 years since the Netherlands won the Eurovision Song Contest. After this performance, make that 30.”

“This skit must have seemed like a tremendous idea at the time, but actually it’s covering a commercial break for Finnish television. And if you don’t mind me expressing an opinion, I’d prefer the commercials.”

“That was France. Gosh, wasn’t that awful?”

With 24 out of 25 songs performed: “Hold on. Be strong. Just cling to the wreckage. It will be over soon.”

On the interval performance in 2009: “I’ve seen this. This goes on for quite some time, so if you fancy making yourself a stiff drink, or putting the kettle on, or walking the dog, this is the time to do it.”

“I’m trying to remind myself of Serbia and Montenegro’s song. What in hell’s name was it? 109 points? I wouldn’t have given them one.”

On a backstage skit in 2007: “Is this supposed to be funny? No, of course not – it is the Eurovision Song Contest. What’s the matter with me? Can we please watch the commercials? Why are these green room moments such an unmitigated disaster?”

“It’s been a wonderful, wonderful evening. I mean, not musically of course, but in terms of spectacle…”

(Photo: BBC)

Graham Norton

On Albania’s 2015 entry: “OK… That’s three minutes we’ll never get back, but look at it this way: We’ll never have to hear that song again.”

“It’s a grey, damp night outside, so there is a slight smell of wet dog in the arena.”

When the 2014 host suggested older viewers may not understand hashtags: “Don’t patronise me Nikolaj. I’m 51, not dead!”

“My one tip is, don’t start looking at his eyebrows, you won’t be able to stop.”

On Britain’s chances a few years ago: “Give them a nudge, every vote counts… Oh, I do hope we get some votes tonight.”

“This year’s theme is celebrating diversity. Let’s see who they’ve chosen to host. Oh. It’s three white men.”

On Poland’s 2014 entry: “‘We are Slavic girls, we know how to use our charming beauty, now shake what your mama gave you.’ It’s essentially a feminist anthem.”

(Photo: BBC)

“You keep thinking this will make sense in a moment. But no.”

“They’re dressed like posh hospital workers from the future.”

When the host spoke to members of the audience: “Nothing has gone wrong. This was planned.”

“The song is called ‘Alcohol is Free’. Ironic to sing that in Sweden, where it’s anything else. You have to sell your car to get a pint.”

“The last few years the semi-finals have weeded out some of the Eurovision lunacy… but not this year.”

On Norway’s entry in 2015: “He said he did something terrible as a boy. We don’t know what it was. It might have been write this song.”

“If you think my job’s easy, check out the guy pretending to play the saxophone for three minutes.”

On Albania’s 2012 entry: “She’s a devoted experimental jazz musician. She can do extraordinary things with her voice… not pleasant things, but extraordinary.”

Eurovision host: “It’s really interesting to see people’s emotions when they win.” Graham Norton: “It’s not that interesting though, is it?”

(Photo: BBC)

On Italy’s 2017 performance: “If you’re going to get someone to dress as a gorilla, at least get a decent outfit. That looks like couple of old car seats sewn together.”

On Russia’s 2012 effort: “It’s an unusual Eurovision this year. There are lots of songs that are really quite good and brilliantly sung. This is not one of those.”

On Hungary’s 2016 entrant: “If it doesn’t work out for him, he’s always got his Hotel Management degree. I feel he’s going to use it.”

On the fashion sense of 2015’s Georgian entry: “Her outfit does involve some roadkill. I fear some Georgian crows were harmed in the making of this act.”

On a Hungarian performance: “Don’t worry, he hasn’t brought his mother’s ashes on stage. It is, in fact, a mini milk churn. Who knew. Oh, and in case you are wondering, there hasn’t been a stage invader. She is a fully trained dancer. She is meant to be there.”

On the name of Hungary’s 2015 entrant: “Her name was unpronounceable so she decided to go by her nickname, which is Boggie. She could have called herself anything. Trixie-bell, Floo-Floo, but no. Boggie.”

(Photo: BBC)

Eurovision hosts: “There is so much love in the room tonight.” Graham Norton: “Not for you.”

On Germany’s 2016 entrant: “Maybe I’m just old and grumpy but there isn’t a single thing about this woman that doesn’t annoy me. Here’s Jamie-Lee, making Björk seem great.”

After a lengthy ballad in 2015: “You still there? It’s over. It really is over!”

“Ooh, some dodgy notes in there. I wonder if there’s something going wrong technically. Or maybe, he’s just not great.”

When it was announced there were 14 songs still to go in 2016: “She says that as if it’s a good thing!”

On some scantily clad backing dancers: “It is quite a good song, but you won’t notice because you’ll be distracted by the… oh, let’s call them dancers.”

“She claims to be the only yodeller in Romania. Probably because the others don’t talk about it. That’s the first rule of yodelling club.”

“It’s got everything; a pop tempo, a disco beat and two half naked men splashing about in a paddling pool.”

On the Danish points announcer: “It’s obviously dress-down Saturday in Denmark.”

The Eurovision Song Contest 2018 is on BBC One on Saturday at 8pm.

• Have your say on the latest TV and film with Screen Babble, the television discussion group on Facebook

Some more funny quotes:

27 brilliantly funny quotes from This Country 50 of the funniest (and most puerile) quotes from The Inbetweeners 20 of the most absurdly funny quotes from Nathan Barley 39 of the greatest Brass Eye and Day Today quotes 25 of the most outrageous Summer Heights High quotes 25 of Rik Mayall’s greatest quotes 25 of the funniest ever Still Game quotes 50 of the funniest Father Ted quotes Red Dwarf: 30 of the funniest quotes and one-liners Derry Girls: 35 of the funniest quotes and one-liners 25 of the most cantankerous Martin Crane quotes from Frasier 25 of the most ‘textbook’ Alan Partridge quotes 50 of the best lines from Peep Show 20 of The Young Ones’ most gloriously silly quotes 20 of Malcolm Tucker’s most cutting insults 25 of the greatest Absolutely Fabulous quotes, darling The 20 most nonsensical quotes from the W1A team 50 of the funniest Friends quotes and jokes

… and some jokes:

28 Star Wars jokes that will make you laugh (and cringe) 41 of Bill Bailey’s most gleefully funny jokes and one-liners 25 hilarious dad jokes you’ve probably never heard before 40 of the funniest jokes about Brexit 25 of Spike Milligan’s greatest gags 100 of the best clean jokes and one-liners 25 of Peter Kay’s most ingenious jokes and one-liners 26 of Stewart Lee’s most gloriously acerbic jokes 49 of Monty Python’s funniest jokes 45 of Ricky Gervais’ funniest jokes 17 of Ken Dodd’s most ingeniously funny jokes 27 of Sarah Millican’s laugh out loud jokes 50 of Jimmy Carr’s funniest jokes and one-liners 50 of Milton Jones’s most ingenious jokes and one-liners 50 of Tim Vine’s most ingenious jokes and one-liners 50 of Frankie Boyle’s funniest (and darkest) jokes 25 of Charlie Brooker’s most cutting jokes and insults 25 of Lee Mack’s wittiest jokes and one-liners 75 of Billy Connolly’s best jokes, one-liners and quips 30 of the best-ever jokes about Scotland – from Scotland

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