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magioftheseas · 3 years

Text

Don’t End This Dreaming

For @badthingshappenbingo

Prompt: Bundled Up In Blankets taken from here.

Rating: T

Warnings: Suicide ideation and implied brainwashing. Angst. Not a good time despite what Ren thinks.

Notes: It’s based off the Missed Deadline ending from Persona 5 Royal! Which is pretty messed up but also known as the Sleeping Beauty ending. I thought this would be a fun take on it...and yes, I had a lot of Omori on the brain while writing...

***Alternate Ao3 Link***

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When he was a kid, his mother wanted to vacation by the lake. Something about the idea of watching those calm waters to bring her a peace that would help her think about things. To get it all together and clear her head of any unnecessary toxins. She was usually such a serious person, but even she dreamed of taking breaks from everything now and then.

Supposedly.

“It’s important to pace yourself, Ren,” she had said with the kind of dry smile she had whenever she was forcing herself. “If you don’t take a vacation, you’ll just...burn out.”

Sometimes, she talked about bringing him to a lake house. Making his dad teach him how to fish. Laughing at the idea. Other times, she’d ask him in a small whisper if he wouldn’t mind leaving dad behind.

“He might need a break from us, too,” she’d say, and that dry smile would start to crack. “I’m just worried about the mess he’s going to make without us there to keep him on the straight and narrow.”

He’s not sure when he figured out that things were unstable, but had resolved himself to just doing the best he can. Not causing a fuss. Being quiet. Being polite. The ideal worker bee, his mother would fondly call him.

They eventually did go to that lake house. His dad went along, forcing a similar kind of smile. They took him to the lake where they watched keenly as he stepped into the water.

“Do you think about jumping in?” his dad would ask in a low voice, and he could only shrug helplessly. His dad laughed lightly. “Not much of a daredevil, huh? Definitely your mother’s kid.”

It’s not that he sounded resentful, but maybe he had sounded disappointed.

As Ren stepped further into the water, he would look back, expecting something to happen. His dad would wave, his mother still wearing her most professional smile. If he got far enough into the water, they still wouldn’t change much.

Despite that. Despite that.

As Ren floated peacefully on the lake’s surface, he dreamed about drowning.

He imagined this is what drowning would feel like.

Drifting. Drifting.

Sinking to the bottom with a gentle pull.

Everything getting colder, but as he sank lower and lower, his thoughts—his parents—everything would get further and further away. He didn’t have to think and he wouldn’t want to think.

He’d just lose himself in the calm.

In reality, drowning wasn’t a peaceful process at all. Really, he was just hoping for something like—falling asleep.

And never.

Waking.

Up.

“Don’t worry. There’s no need to obsess over it anymore. I’ll bring you your happiness.”

It’s strange. For someone like him who never really thought about his happiness at any point, it was almost a relief to hear.

Even if he thought about it now, he’d decide he doesn’t need anything special or extravagant.

Just—contentment would be fine.

“Amamiya, get UP!!”

Akechi’s voice cuts through the fog with as much mercy as the man himself would spare for shadows. Gloved fingers dig viciously into the front of his shirt and yank with such ferocity that the seams nearly split open. It leaves Ren’s head spinning, his vision blurring as his eyes force themselves to open.

This. This is what drowning is actually like. It hurts just to breathe and he can’t keep a grasp on himself at all. He doesn’t even know if he wants to, he just would rather it all end—but Akechi grabs him by the shoulders.

“You can’t do this to me, you can’t,” he hisses, shaking him. “Amamiya, for fuck’s sake, you gave me your word.”

...what word was that?

It hurts to think. He doesn’t want to think anymore.

“Ren!” Akechi’s yelling again. Booming so much it’s like a storm disrupting calm waters. “Keep it together or I’ll kill you!”

Ren can’t help but giggle. Then, he’s smacked for that. It’s almost a shock. He sees his mother for a moment, but that image dissipates and Akechi’s glaring at him with such desperate intensity.

Oh.

No, that’s not the kind of face she’d make at all.

Only Akechi could make his heart stir like this.

Oh, Akechi.

“It’s okay,” he babbles, slurs really as he attempts a low croon. He reaches for Akechi unsteadily to wipe away those unshed tears. Akechi quite temperamentally yanks himself away, out of Ren’s reach, which is enough to make Ren whine. “Aww.”

“What the hell is wrong with you,” Akechi mutters. “What the fuck did that bastard do to you?”

“You’re so worked up,” Ren mutters back even as it remains difficult to speak. Because it’s Akechi, he can push himself a little. He likes him, after all. “Come to bed with me.”

Akechi smacks him again. And again. And again.

It stings so much that it makes Ren’s eyes burn with tears, but whatever resolve that grants him is the kind that drives him to grab Akechi’s wrist. To cage it in the circle of his grip and yank Akechi towards him. Akechi, who stumbles with a curse and grabs the front of Ren’s nightshirt to steady himself.

“Ren,” Akechi murmurs, now, voice controlled but threatening to break in a way that Ren’s all too familiar with. “Ren, please, snap out of it. Whatever Maruki did to you, you have to snap out of it.”

Akechi’s trembling.

“That fucking bastard—I’ll kill him. I’ll fucking kill him.”

His mother would hate to be comforted, but Ren has no qualms about holding Akechi close. About rubbing his back and crooning into his hair. If Akechi tries to shove him away, then Ren will just wrap the two of them up in blankets, bundling them together so tightly that Akechi wouldn’t be able to escape.

“Akechi,” he sighs adoringly. “Bedtime.”

Oh, Akechi fights. Because Akechi is stubborn and spiteful and knows nothing else. But no matter how much Akechi screamed and begged him, it was fine. Even Akechi would tire himself out eventually. Everyone had their limit.

Once that limit was reached, there was little to do but fall apart. He was well-versed in that by this point. Why had he ever tried in the first place?

...there was something, wasn’t there?

But he’s so tired, he doesn’t want to think, and Akechi’s so warm. Perfect to snuggle and relax against, even as Akechi’s breathing grew strained.

Ren entwines their fingers.

It hurts. His face really hurts. The choked little sounds that Akechi makes sound like they hurt, too. Akechi lets out a seized up little gasp when Ren presses into him.

They’re so close. The blanket traps their heat. It’s like a nice little pocket from everything and everywhere else. Nice enough to doze in, even amidst all the hurt.

“Let’s not think anymore...”

The words are slurred, but Ren hopes that Akechi hears him before he tumbles into that darkness.

What is he forgetting? How long has it been?

When and how did Akechi find him?

Ren does stir awake briefly, but with Akechi tucked against him—what did anything else matter? Akechi finally looks at peace and the moment is only disturbed when Ren thinks that Akechi almost looks as motionless as a corpse.

But then Akechi breathes, and there’s nothing to worry about. Nothing at all. Akechi is with him. Everything is fine.

He doesn’t have to worry. He doesn’t have to think.

He can just sleep.

#shuake #akeshu #bad things happen bingo #goro akechi #ren amamiya #Magi fics #p5r spoilers #bad things bingo

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