#ats: s05e01 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

oscarwaswildebutalanwaswilder · 5 years

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The talent map (Queen AU)

Brian: That's it! That's the place on the map!

Freddie: Right. Let's get down there and find the spa.

Brian: Wait. We don't know why the map sent us here. We shouldn't just walk right in. It could be dangerous.

Roger: Yes!

Peridot: Stay behind me, everyone! I'm on it!

John: Careful, Peri!

Peridot: [grunts][thud, scraping noises]

Roger: This is where the map sent us? It looks like the most boring place in the world!

John: It's just an ordinary village full of ordinary people.

Freddie: It could certainly use a few more architectural flourishes. Or any architectural flourishes.

Lapis: I think it's lovely.

Peridot: I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. I know smiles. And those smiles? They're just not right.

Brian: Forget the smiles. Look at the symbol!

Roger: Okay, that's weird.

Brian: An entire village with the same talent? How can that be?

Roger: I bet there's some sort of horrific monster behind it.

Brian: What makes you say that?

Roger: 'Cause fighting a horrific monster would be super-awesome!

John: I reckon we just ought to head into town and talk to some locals, find out what's goin' on.

Roger: Great idea, Deaky. Let's go!

Peridot: Those smiles are bad news.

Elvis Presley: Welcome!

John Lydon: Welcome!

Steve Jones: Welcome!

Tony Hadley: Welcome!

Martin Kemp: Welcome!

Bon Jovi: Welcome!

Depeche Mode [all together]: Welcome!

Lapis: This must be the most pleasant place in the world!

Michael Jackson : Welcome!

Lapis: [giggles]

Roger: Ugh. Thanks a lot, map.

Jimi Hendrix : Welcome! Pardon my forwardness, but are you Freddie Mercury?

John: That there's Queen!

Jimi Hendrix : Well, you've certainly come to the right place for friendship.

Bono: What brings you to town?

Brian: We're not entirely sure.

Bono: I see. Well, all are welcome here in our little village. My name is Bono, and this is Jimi Hendrix .

John: Howdy, Bono. I'm John Deacon, and this here's Peridot, Lapis Lazuli, Freddie Mercury, Roger Meddows Taylor, and Brian May.

Bono: And you all have your own unique talents.

Brian: If you don't mind, has there been any sort of... trouble here, lately?

Bono: Trouble? Why, I don't think we've ever had trouble in our little village.

Jimi Hendrix : It's true. You'll see. Hm.

Bono: Perhaps you'd care to speak to our founder Starlight Pearl.

Lapis Lazuli: I wish everyone was as friendly as these people are.

Peridot: I've got my eye on them. Something's rotten in... whatever the name of this village is that we're in right now!

[knocking]Bono: Starlight, we have some new visitors.

Roger: [to Freddie] Be ready to fight. We don't know what's gonna come through that door.

Starlight Pearl: Welcome! I'm so pleased to have you here.

Roger: [groans]

Bono: This is John Deacon, Lapis Lazuli, Peridot, Freddie Mercury, Roger Meddows Taylor, and Brian May.

Starlight Pearl: Forgive my bluntness, but I'm assuming it's Queen band ? We don't get many bands around here.

Brian: Yes, but "Queen" is fine.

Starlight Pearl: So! How did you hear of our little village?

Brian: It's kind of a long story. Let's just say we found it on a map.

Peridot: Technically, it's a Tree-chest-castle-map!

Starlight Pearl: Well, however you found us, we're happy to have you! We're happy to have anyone who wants to experience true friendship for the first time.

John: Say what?

Starlight Pearl: Oh, indeed. That's what's so unique about our village, you see. Around here, we don't flaunt our special talents because we don't have any special talent to flaunt.

Brian: Is that why you all have those symbol (=)?

Starlight Pearl: Perhaps it would be easier to understand if I gave you a tour of the village![marching drum cadence]

Starlight Pearl: Heads high, people! Marching proud! [whistle blows] All together now! Everyone of you! No one left behind!

Life is so grand in Our Town

We're always filled with cheer

We never have to look around

To know that we're all here

[Citizens]In Our Town, in Our Town

We don't have to wait

To find out that our destiny

Is just to emulate

Starlight Pearl: Let's see those big, happy smiles!

Life is a smile in Our Town

Our talent's the same

Because we do not separate

Ourselves by more than name

[Citizens]In Our Town, in Our Town

We dare not compete

Winning only breeds the worst

Ego-filled conceit

Starlight Pearl: You see? Now everyone wins!

Life is a joy in Our Town

We're all equal here

No one is superior

And no one shakes in fear

[Citizens]In Our Town, in Our Town

We work as a team

You can't have a nightmare

If you never dream

[Starlight Pearl]Other people argue

Do you ever wonder why?

When you think your talent's special

You don't see eye-to-eye

There's just too many difference

That lead to disarray

But when you learn to act as one

It's like a Holiday

[Citizens]In Our Town, in Our Town

We don't complicate

When you learn to simplify

Life is oh, so great

Join in our utopia

Come out of the dark

Banded by equality

By our talent!

Roger: [laughing] You're kidding, right? Give up our talents? No way!

Lapis: Roger, don't be so rude. I don't think we should judge them. They all seem perfectly happy with their choice.

Peridot: Don't believe their smiles, Lapis.

Brian: I'm sorry, I guess we're just a little confused by all of this.

Starlight Pearl: We have no judgements here in our village. Each of us was confused once as well, blinded by the false promise of our talents.

Roger: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is she for real?

Brian: When we were sent to this village, we assumed it was to help in some way. But, well, it doesn't seem like you need any help.

Starlight Pearl: Have you considered perhaps that you might have been sent here so we could help you? After all, no one has ever come to our village and wanted to leave. Why should you be any different? But that is entirely your choice. Please enjoy our little corner of the Earth. We're all quite fond of it. No doubt you will be as well. Bono, please help our guests with whatever they might need.

Bono: Of course.

Starlight Pearl: Well, this will certainly provide a boost to our little community. When the rest of the Earth sees that Freddie Mercury gave up his talent to join us, they'll finally understand what we're trying to accomplish.

S05E01 Unnamed Unicorn Stallion #3: Welcome!

Huey Lewis: Welcome!

Elvis Presley: Welcome!

Brian: A talent is a representation of a person's unique talents and skills. How is it possible to—

Freddie: [gasps] What is that?!

Led Zeppelin: Welcome! Care to sample some local fashion? We've got cloaks this month!

Freddie: [gagging] Wha— Ooh, er, perhaps another time, good sir, thank you!

Lapis: [hushed] Really, guys! They may do things a bit differently than we're used to, but that's no reason to be rude.

Roger: [hushed] No, the reason to be rude is that they all keep staring at us!Bono: Need something?

Brian: Uh, no! We're good! [hushed] Lapis' right. If we're going to get to the bottom of why the map sent us here, we'll need the help of these people.

John: I think we ran off to the end of the world before we even knew what that map was!

Peridot: If we were at the end of world, we'd be sitting on a big 'D'! [giggles] Get it?

Freddie: Oh, please, Peridot! This is hardly the time for jokes! We've come all this way and for what?

Brian: [hushed] Maybe you're right. But we're here now, and it sure feels like something's wrong.

John: That and two bits'll get you a cup of cider.

Elton: Is this a bad time?

Lapis: We shouldn't be bickering like this in front of our new friends. Really, Deacy, you're almost as bad as Roger!

Roger: Don't drag me into this!

Elton: Is your friendship ending?

Peridot: Are you crazy?! We'd never let a disagreement get in the way of food!Elton: O-kay, well, my name is Elton John. What can I bring you? We have: muffins...[long beat]

Brian: Then I guess we'll take six muffins!

Peridot: Make that twelve! What? I'm hungry!

Brian: [hushed] Come on, guys. We've got to stick together. It doesn't matter what happened before, we're here now.

John: I guess you're right. And the sooner we figure out why, the sooner we can go home.

Elton: Forgive me for overhearing, but just a moment ago you were disagreeing, and now it sounds like you're... agreeing.

John: Uh-huh...

Elton: Well, you had such differing opinions – and talents.

Freddie: We have differing opinions all the time, darling.

Elton: But you look like you're friends.

Brian: We are friends. A simple disagreement wouldn't change that.

Elton: I'm sorry, I'm just having a hard time understanding. Different talents lead to different opinions, which lead to bitterness and misery. So... why aren't you bitter and...?

Peridot: [choking] Blech! Mmmm... good...

Elton: It's all right. I know I'm not a very good baker. At least, I know I'm not any better than anyone else in the village. Well, I... hope you enjoy our little village!

Peridot: [hacking]

Elton: [hushed] Come inside before you go! Meet me downstairs!

Roger: Okay, that was weird too.

Brian: [hushed] Let's all sit here and eat these muffins and act normal. I think we're being watched.[scissors snipping]

Roger: You think?

Brian: [hushed] No, not like that! I mean someone here doesn't want us talking to Elton.

Bono: [chomp]

John: I got an idea. But you gotta eat all of them muffins, Peri.

Peridot: Me?! Why me?!

John: [hushed] You got a stronger stomach than any of us, and that filly in there might be our best chance at findin' out what the hay is goin' on round here.

Peridot: [chomping]

John: [stilted] I can't believe you ate all our muffins, Peri! We'd best go inside and get some more!

Brian: Nice work, Peri.[thumps and honks]

Peridot: I've accidentally eaten cardboard tastier than that...

Brian: Hello? Elton?

Elton: Thank you for coming!

Brian: Why did you want us to come down here?

Elton: So anyone could see what's about to happen.

Jimi Hendrix: Are you really the Queen?

Michael Jackson: Do you know Red?

Elton: I love your talent!

Michael Jackson: How can you be friends with different talents? Don't you end up hating each other?

Elton: Oh, look at this one! This one's great too! I'd love to have my special talent back even just for a day! Make something besides those disgusting muffins...

Roger: So what's stopping you? Go get your talents back.

Jimi Hendrix: Daydreaming is one thing, but you mean actually having it put back on? That seems extreme.

Elton: I'm not sure Starlight would like that. She wants us all to be happy in our sameness.

Brian: How do you take someone's talent anyway?

Michael Jackson: The talent unmarking is a beautiful experience! Starlight uses the Staff of Sameness to magically take them away and replace them with these.

Brian: But anyone should keep you from your talent. It represents such an essential part of who you are.

Michael Jackson: Oh, we're not kept from them. They're in the vault up in the caves. We can visit them any time we like to remind us of the heartache of a life with special talents.

Brian: Can we visit this cave?

Starlight Pearl: I'm delighted you're interested in our talent vault. We hope someday everyone on Earth will make a pilgrimage here to our little village to have theirs removed too, and our message of [continues under] perfectly equal friendship can finally spread across the land.

Brian: [hushed, over] This must be the reason we're here.

Peridot: [hushed, over] "Pilgrimaging"?

Brian: [hushed] No, helping those people get their talents back.

Lapis: [hushed] Oh, are you sure, Brian? Maybe they miss them a little, but even they didn't seem all that unhappy.

Brian: [hushed] Then why did they want to meet us in secret? And why did they ask us not to tell Starlight who told us about the vault? Something's not right.

Starlight Pearl: Just through here! Behold! Our talent vault!

Brian: I've never seen anything like it!

Starlight Pearl: And here is the Staff of Sameness. It was one of the great Mage Meadowbrook's nine enchanted items. We are incredibly fortunate to have it here. This is the tool that allows us to free ourselves from our talents! I'm curious – how did the subject of the vault come up?Peridot: Oh, someone were telling us how much they missed their talents, and—

Brian: Peridot!

Peridot: Oops...

Starlight Pearl: [gasps] Were they? Well, it seems you inspire all sorts of free thinking, don't you?

Freddie: [laughs nervously] Well, w-we certainly didn't intend to cause any disruptions to your charming little—Starlight Pearl: Good. Let's just make sure of that, shall we?

Brian: It's a trap![magic zaps]

Brian: [groaning]

Rest of main cast: [groaning]

Starlight Pearl: Aw. I don't blame you for what you tried to do here today. You've spent your whole lives thinking those talents are a good thing.

Brian: Give them back!

Starlight Pearl: Well, now you can spend the rest of your lives here with us! And we'll teach you just how much better life can be without your talents!

(Based and inspired by MLP episode "the cutie map")

All credits to MLP

I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING

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