#at the very least it hinders on the assumption that the *human* perception is the only one that matters

[coockie8]

you seem like the kind of person who would really hate philosophy lol

It's not so much that I hate philosophy, as it comes across as almost self-centred to me. The vast majority of philosophical debates I've heard basically amount to arguing for the sake of arguing, because if you used common sense for like half a second, you'd know the answer.

"If a tree falls and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?" Yes, because the universe doesn't revolve around your perception of things.

And that's just one example. A mediocre example, but you get my point.

#I also hate the ''does life truly exist outside of our perception of it?'' debate #which is the foundation for the ''we live in a simulation'' theory #yes life exists outside your perception because your perception is not the *only* perception #life aside from humans does in fact exist #this is why philosophy comes across as wildly self-centred to me #because it hinders on the assumption that whoever is asking the question is practically the centre of the universe #and that their perception is the only one that exists/matters #at the very least it hinders on the assumption that the *human* perception is the only one that matters #and I don't like that #you think because an animal doesn't pay taxes or live in a constant state of anxiety it doesn't know it's alive?

[academicgloss]

Using Fashion to Study Greater Issues

Generational problems hinder my family. Recently, I’ve felt these problems cannot be solved by me, or by one generation alone. Why? Well, because there isn’t just one problem that, if “solved”, would put my family on a positive path for coming generations. Since I obviously know very little about the world as an undergrade, I assume and infer about my family heritage based on what I see and experience. One assumption I’ve made is that slavery in America’s colonial past is why we are here to begin with. Another assumption particularly about the women, is that they’ve been abused over and over. A final assumption is the lack of wholesome connections.

These things are important for me to explore because it forms my future aspirations: things I study, jobs I take, and problems I see all inspire me to make big changes. I hope to pass those changes down to my siblings, so they don’t get stuck in a negative and self-destructive cycle. But moving forward has been super hard and stressful. To channel the stress, I examine some of these problems through fashion—I can’t possibly study everything ever, so I chose what I’m interested in most.

First, we have the fact that America’s capitalist economy has roots in the slave trade. I like to use the word ‘disinherited’ to describe how I think that past hindered my family’s financial, personal, and educational development from flourishing as much as I think it could have—we are ambitious people. For example, owning land or a home wasn’t slaves’ jobs in the first place; it was to maintain someone else’s who’d already had a head start. Regarding fashion, I think there are cycles we get stuck in that benefit not us, but someone else. My aspiration is to bring to light the fact that some of the fashion system is designed in ways that keep our attention on overconsumption and materialism rather than fixing any generation issues clearly afflicting our progress. How to do this though, is my area of study.

Now, on to women in my family having been that physically and emotionally abused. Basically, the negative mindsets and habits stemming from that abuse permeates our lives. In at least three past generations there is a theme (one of many) of ignoring root problems. I’m not sure if my family just can’t see them or if they can’t help themselves when they do; either way, they intensify destructive cycles. Anyway, fashion’s system has band aid solutions that they love to market as solutions to deeper issues. We can see this in brands using recycled plastic to make clothing. It seems better on the surface, but the plastic still has myriad issues associated with it. A better answer is to just consume less clothing, so the sector degrades the environment less. But capitalism forbid that. Human psychology forbid that. My hope is to study fashion to understand personal as well as world problems in the context of our socioeconomic systems and try to change them from the root. 

Lastly, my family does not connect with each other, or themselves. For example, there are parents, there are children. That relationship is strictly NOT for deep emotional support. I don’t think this happened on purpose at all. I just think nobody felt passionately about building a healthy relationship with anyone or themselves. This means that critical conversations were either outsourced, not had, or glazed over. Why does nobody discuss serious issues like body perception, healthy habits, finances, or boys? Part of that reason is because these conversations had never been had in the first place. Everyone for himself—because of a need to survive daily struggles, probably. Like my mom and dad don’t know HALF of what I went through during my primary school years. On one hand, dad was more open with me about boys, but it wasn’t the only perspective I needed. On the other hand, mom didn’t make me feel like I could talk to her at all. If I did have an issue, I’d surely be a bad egg for my siblings, or of the devil if I did. Yet different men were in our lives constantly—none of them were worth the cubic zirconia they offered up. (I don’t 100% blame mom though. She was like 25 and wanted to live. She unfortunately had to do it in sub-par circumstances) But the point is with all the drama, she couldn’t see when to stop, reflect on, then mitigate men’s impacts to us, or herself. What’s this got to do with fashion? Well, consumer behavioral changes are needed if fashion wants a hand in restoring itself and Earth to healthy states for all. Though, the girls who are targeted struggle to change behaviors. Again, I’m studying sort of why that might be and hoping to help. Baby steps though, fashion first, world second.

So yeah, I just wanted to write about this because I feel like I must keep reminding myself why I’m passionate about researching. I can always check this and add to it later. But I must specialize now otherwise I’ll help no one. That takes, at least for me, letting out past mind-clogging thoughts and making room for more progressive ones that could lead me to a necessary niche. Neither I nor fashion will improve Earth’s problems alone. I think my personal issues alongside others afflicting women really drive my craving for change regardless of the squiggly path it takes. 

#fashion #family #self growth

[marcelabeex]

The Costanza Principle: Better Decisions Through Your Inner Contrarian

_Thorin Klosowski_ _7/25/14 7:20pm_

When it comes to making strong, objective decisions, you're about the last person on earth you should trust. So today, we're taking a page from Seinfeld's George Costanza.

Blast from the past is a weekly feature at Lifehacker in which we revive old, but still relevant, posts for your reading and hacking pleasure. This week, we're empowering our inner contrarian.

Generally speaking, humans aren't very good at quickly gauging the quality of our choices. We use shortcuts, fall back on stereotypes, and make choices based on limited amounts of information. This often works for our minor, day-to-day choices, but we're inadvertently limiting our scope and not considering a wide variety of worthwhile options. In an episode of Seinfeld called The Opposite (see video above), George Costanza decides to toss his gut instincts to the curb and instead consider radical alternatives to what his instincts tell him to do—and it works.

Obviously there's a significant difference between a sitcom and real life, but Costanza's opposite principle is more constructive than you might think. To illustrate my point, here are a few cases when it's a good idea to doubt your brain.

When "What Comes Naturally" Isn't Always In Your Best Interest

We're wired to put more weight on a decision that leads to an immediate reward, that's not always the case. Psychology Today puts this rather bluntly:

Our instincts most often drive us toward instant gratification.

Instant gratification is not always a bad thing, but more often than not we prioritize the moment over the future. We convince ourselves that our instincts are right when they're not. The myth that your body "tells you what it needs"when you're craving something is a good example of this. It's a blatant trick your brain plays on you in order to get a reward.

Instant gratification is not always a bad thing, but more often than not we prioritize the moment over the future. We convince ourselves that our instincts are right when they're not. The myth that your body "tells you what it needs"when you're craving something is a good example of this. It's a blatant trick your brain plays on you in order to get a reward.

Instant gratification also comes in the form of protection. Your brain treats uncertainty as a threat, and your natural reaction may not be in your best interest because it's trying to protect you from something it doesn't need to. It might just be that you're worried about the uncertainty of disappointment or embarrassment.

In George Costanza's (clearly absurd) case, avoiding perceived risk led him nowhere. By considering an alternative (described as "the opposite"), he was rewarded with a date and a new job.

Solution: Learn to Differentiate Between "Feeling Right" and "Being Right"

It might seem negligible, but learning to differentiate between "feeling right" and "being right" is key. The first a knee-jerk reaction to a situation based on your feelings; the second is a quantifiable truth.

As science writer David DiSalvo points out in his book What Makes Your Brain Happy and Why You Should Do the Opposite, knowing the difference requires recognizing that difference:

A happy brain interprets uncertainty as a threat and wants us to get back to "right." But what we often overlook is that what we are really trying to recover is the feeling of being right—because it is the emotional response to rightness that shuts off the alarms and puts us at ease... The truth, however, is that the evidence may not align with the source of your certainty and that's a difficult realization for any one of us to acknowledge.

Certainty is two-fold. On one hand, it's all about the facts (we'll get to that more in the next section); but it's also about emotional forecasting. You might not take a small risk because you feel like you know what would happen, but in reality humans are terrible at predicting the future, and you often don't take your own personality into account when making choices. Considering alternatives is a way to find out if a choice is really the best one.

Your History and Self-Perception Has More Influence Than You Think

We're all biased thinkers and a lot of the bias comes from personal history. Some of that history is what we've made for ourselves, and some of it has been inscribed on us by other people's interpretations ofus. Scientific American sums it up like so:

We can learn, we can improve, and we can change our habitual approach to the world. Take the example of stereotype threat, an instance where others' perception of us—or what we think that perception is—influences how we in turn act, and does so on the same subconscious level as all primes.

Think of a stereotype threat like this: all your life people have been introducing you as "the quiet one" or "the shy person." Internally you might interpret those introductions as a way to act even when you don't feel like they apply to you. Subsequently, you base decisions on this idea—you remain quiet during a dinner or don't speak up in a conversation—even though it's not what you want to do. Photo by Quinn Dombrowski.

Solution: Challenge Your Personal Myth (Do the Opposite)

This is where Costanza's opposite approach best applies. In order to challenge your "personal myth" you have to do (or at least imagine doing) the exact opposite of what you normally do. As science blog Big Think points out the first step is knowing what you do and that that behavior can be changed:

What is the mindset you typically have when it comes to yourself? If you don't realize you have it, you can't do anything to combat the influences that come with it when they are working against you, as happens with negative stereotypes that hinder performance-and even when they are working for you (as can happen if you activate positively-associated stereotypes), you may be able to better tap the benefits if you are aware that they are there to begin with.

The second step is to take a little action and give new things a try. The next time you're faced with a social decision (preferably one without horrible repercussions), considering looking at the alternative. You may be pleasantly surprised with the results and if nothing else you'll learn a little about an opposing view of the world.

Your Viewpoint Is Incredibly Limited

You don't know everything and you can't see everything from different viewpoints. We've covered how confirmation bias colors your decisionsbecause you gravitate towards like-minded ideas, but just as important is the idea of an availability heuristic.

The availability heuristic is essentially a decision making shortcut that means "if you can think of it, it must be important." This is when you add emphasis to details because you've heard of them. For instance, if you've seen a lot of stories about zombie-like behavior, you're more willing to accept the fact that zombies are real.

Both confirmation bias and the availability heuristic boil down to one thing: you prioritize one idea because everything else seems unlikely to you. This leads to close-mindedness which can cause bad decisions and block creativity. 

Solution: Reverse Your Assumptions to Understand the Counter Position

You have to accept that you don't know all the facts and what you do know is probably skewed based on your perception of the events. One way to do this is reverse your assumptions to see new ideas. Psychology Today offers one system to do this:

List all your assumptions about your subject.

Reverse each assumption. What is its opposite?

Ask yourself how to accomplish each reversal.

When you reverse your assumptions you often find new ideas along with new viewpoints. This might include ways to solve creative problems, see other points of view on political issues, or better understand an opinion you don't agree with. It's not about changing your mind. It's about finding the other possibilities that exist and making a choice with more variables.

The idea here isn't that you go all out and do the exact opposite of everything (unless your disposition is really that close to George Costanza), but to consider the alternatives of your default behavior. If you're anything like me you'll be surprised at how often you're completely wrong about decisions, risks, and your own perception.

Our brains trick us in all types of different ways that we didn't cover above and most of the time we never notice it happening. Have you ever done the exact opposite of your usual behavior with successful results? Share your experiences in the comments.

via https://lifehacker.com/5920188/the-costanza-principle-empower-your-inner-contrarian-and-make-better-decisions                                                  

#psychology #seinfeld #serie tv #positive psychology

[positivepsychologyinterventions]

How to Better Understand Your Emotions When You’ve Been Numb Too Long

Your emotions are a part of you, and they shouldn’t be ignored.

So much is written about emotions — how to understand them, how to control them, or how they can help or hinder you. Just look at the self-help section of a bookstore or the cover of the multitude of grab mags at the checkout counter of your frequented food store. All can be helpful, but they are not always the truth, and are not personalized for you.

So, what are emotions, really, and why do we have them in the first place? Emotions can best be viewed as essential reactions to being human and a clue of what you experience from the inside out. Emotions are really energy in motion.

If you ignore or suppress a challenging emotion like sadness or anger or guilt (and all the associated reactions), you actually feed the dragon. It is crucial to recognize a feeling, take a moment to assess where it came from, and in a safe place, really notice and feel those feelings.

6 Things We Do Instead of Expressing Our Real Emotions (and How It Affects Our Health)

Don’t deny them. If ignored or suppressed, they grow. If attended to and expressed, they shift in energy and you can become emotionally numb.

Culturally and historically, the importance of emotions has often been overlooked. Humans have been focused on logic, reason, and thinking. For a long time, I believed that this is where answers are to be found.

Human beings are now realizing the importance of emotions in thinking, reasoning, decision-making, leadership, and relationships. Indeed, like other human activities such as sleeping, eating, and breathing, emotions are non-discretionary.

You may be able to choose to some degree when or how you react, but you do not get to choose if or when you experience them. They are a part of what makes us human.

People are learning a great deal about emotions from various perspectives. Some insights come from psychology and others from neuroscience.

If you’ve been attempting to prioritize logic while shutting out emotions, you may find yourself feeling numb, disconnected. But you can change your relationship with emotions to see them as a useful part of your makeup that you may not spend enough time cultivating.

Here are a few ideas for how to grow to understand your emotions better and become more in touch with them.

1. Learn That Each Emotion Has a Specific Meaning Or Story to Tell, That Each Emotion Has a Specific Impulse or Predisposition, and Each Emotion Exists for a Purpose.

In other words, emotions are not random and are actually quite logical. Each is very specific, and you need to listen to and understand them to think clearly, know yourself, act in accordance with your values, and understand the thinking and action of others. Learning this can make them a tool as powerful as reasoning, thinking, and conversation.

Getting “emotionally naked” is about learning how to be open about your authentic self with the rest of the world (well, at least those you trust). It is about how being secretive about yourself can lead to physical, mental, and emotional sickness. Can we actually try to live healthier by being honest with our fellow humans about who we are and how we are?

2. Try This Exercise If You Feel Emotionally Numb and Overwhelmed With an Emotional Experience.

As Sue Monk Kidd says in her book The Invention of Wings, “There is no pain on Earth that doesn’t crave a benevolent witness.” Here’s a process used for reclaiming parts of your authentic self that you may have left hidden in the shadows.

Follow this template for naked-sharing slowly, using a journal, personal reflection time, and patience:

Recall: Remember a belief or experience that causes you to keep it hidden.

Reflect: Consider this memory. What happened? Who was there? How did it affect you?

Reveal on Paper: Write in a journal your memories, thoughts, feelings, actions, and emotional reactions. Just free flow, get it out and on paper. Then read it to yourself as if you were hearing about it from your younger self.

Reveal to Another: This is where you make a big step. Who can you share your story with? Who can you trust will listen to you with suspended judgment and full acceptance? True release from the chokehold of emotional angst is with a benevolent witness or committed listener.

Reboot: After you have shared with a trusted other, imagine you are rebooting your memory, just like a computer memory. Let it be defragmented and safely put away.

Restart: This is when you get back on your journey to your future, starting now. You have now achieved a clean restart pertaining to this memory or story.

Get real. Be authentic. Be courageous. Make contact and learn to empathize. Trust and disclose yourself and invite others to do the same. You can be the committed listener to someone else.

Signs You Might Be Emotionally Paralyzed

3. Own Your Story.

Brene Brown’s work on vulnerability and the concept of whole-heartedness is wonderful research and life lessons for being more courageous. We can be purposeful and careful in revealing (or discovering) who we really are while also establishing strong boundaries and being very deliberate about when and with whom to share. Her books The Gifts of Imperfection and Daring Greatly are wonderful titles and books worth reading on your journey to living optimally and fully.

She says in The Gifts of Imperfection:

Owning our story can be hard, but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky, but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love, belonging, and joy — the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.

We are all a compilation of our experiences, our memories, and our perception of those. What we learn from them is the key. Chosen change or unchosen change eventually has to be accepted and digested before life continues.

These times are when you need someone to be emotionally naked with, and those lessons are what this book is about for you.

What key points of your life have affected your way of living, and what you share or don’t share? How could that change if you found the place and person to share what you have not shared, to say what you have not said, and to dream out loud with a caring listener?

Responses to events are mediated. In other words, when an event takes place, our responses — our behaviors — are shaped by (a) our interpretation of the event, which is a consequence of our beliefs, attitudes, and assumptions, and (b) the feelings generated by those beliefs, attitudes, and assumptions.

Those beliefs, attitudes, and assumptions are the preexisting lenses we wear and look through, which determine, or at least color, our observation and interpretation of events. Discover ways and means to be naked emotionally, when it is safe and secure, and you will find yourself feeling whole and open, at the right times, places, circumstances, and with the right people.

We are, in essence, relationship-beings.

If you live your life never revealing things that you have kept hidden, your authentic self will always be hidden as well. You will be loved by some and befriended by others, but there will be something crucial missing.

You will feel a hole somewhere inside of you, and that hole will keep you from feeling whole. In addition, if there are dreams or aspirations that you have given up on or have stuffed away, you are likely to feel unfulfilled in your calling. Likewise, if there are stories of abuse, hurt, loss, grief, shame, or guilt related to life experiences that you have also buried, you will have to live with the burden of keeping them hidden and protected.

The point is not to share these parts of yourself with everyone or just anyone; it is to find a trusted listener who will keep your stories sacred and personal. Naked living asks you to find that committed and trusted other and simply share the stories from your shadowy storage space and reclaim the energy that is attached to keeping them in hiding.

The witness is key. You can be emotionally naked by yourself, and there is value to that experience, yet it can only take you so far. Being emotionally naked during a relational experience with a trusted other has the power to evoke even deeper revelations. It must be a relational experience with a trusted other to be transformative.

This guest article was originally published on YourTango.com: How To Turn On The Light Inside When You’ve Been Numb All Your Life.

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#IFTTT #World of Psychology