#at least there was no fungi either… now *that* would’ve been extra gross

[deus-ex-mona]

me when the bacteria c o l o n i s e s

#m a n. i thought that the sample would turn out negative for bacteria (like the rest have been for the past. what. year and a quarter(?)) #esp since the agar testing stick things used were freshly expired (thanks for the expired reagents workplace; cost cutting ftw!!!!) #but. ewwwwwwwwwwww it actually grewwwwwwwwwwww #and the small stick thing was covered from like top to bottom in countless dark red colonies. ewwwwwwwwww #all ​the other agar stick things were completely clean though so it was def a problem with the sample and not with my handling of the agar #in any case!!!!!!! it was the first time i saw a positive for bacteria growth on a sample and!!!! #it was also my first time reporting the results for this test!!!! without any of the test-familiar staff around!!! so!!!!! not fun!!!!!!!! #i didn’t even k n o w what they meant when they asked to ‘describe the colour/appearance of the colonies’ bc the managers’ expectations are. #just. *weird*. sometimes. ughhhhhh im ready for the inevitable groupchat callout on tuesday with ‘who taught you to report like this????’s #well e x c u s e me for not knowing sir you never taught me how to report colony growths or anything auauaaaaaaaaaa #but is ok!!!!!! i’m taking tuesday off anyway!!!! it’ll be the tuesday workers’ problem now!!!!!!!! good luck guys!!!!!!! #at least there was no fungi either… now *that* would’ve been extra gross #the bio class flashbacks were r e a l today… thank god i don’t ever have to open that stupid pharmacopoeia ever again #also reminds me of (one of) my stupidest moments in a bio class though… #back in the days of yore (read: anatomy class in the year of ‘17) i was an absolutely horrible student who’d never fail to nap in class #so when my lecturer asked connecting questions down the class register… #yk stuff like asking student 1 to ‘name a type of cell’ and then asking student 2 to ‘name an organelle that a [student 1’s cell] contains’ #he asked the girl before me to name a hormone. she answered ‘growth hormone’. and i was like. dammit. idk where it’s found. lolhelp. #(bc i never read ahead either + the growth hormone didn’t even show up in lessons during that school term) #so when he inevitably asked me to ‘name the organ that produces the growth hormone’ i answered (exact quote) ‘i don’t know; the ovaries????’ #the class laughed. sad. the lecturer retorted with sth like ‘then are you saying that boys can’t grow?’ and i just shrugged #the girl after me (who incidentally has the same first+last name as me phonetically speaking) gave him the right answer thoughhhh #i hope i managed to buy my name twin enough time to look up the correct answer (if she didn’t already know it) with my stupid guess #yeahhhhhh ​i do n o t miss bio class. at all. giggity #anyways that’s enough flashback sequences for one year. can’t believe the next year’s less than 10 days away tbh. can’t wait!!!!!!!!

[arizaluca]

Stories and Costumes - Chapter 2

And here is the second part. Honestly, why am I doing this and not being productive doing something else?

Oh yeah. I’m sitting in a hotel room.

After a few minutes of cautiously poking at her surroundings to confirm that they were real (in other words, getting scratched by one of the thorn branches and nearly tripping over a gnarled tree root), she ended up looking at a bush with this weird fruit that looked kind of fuzzy. Think a peach, but about the size and shape of a strawberry.

Also the color of a blue raspberry Jolly Rancher.

“Didn’t realize little humans were interested in fuzzfruits.” A deep baritone issued from behind Allie, sounding rather smooth and calm.

“Fuzz-- no such thing,” Allie replied rather tersely, still crouching and looking at the fruit and trying to figure out what the heck it was.

“If there’s no such thing, then how are you looking at it?”

... he had a point there.

Allie reached out and took the... fuzzfruit, the stem of the fruit snapping the second she had it in a secure grip and resulting in her holding a blue fuzzy strawberry. “That’s kind of a lame name, don’t you think? I mean, at least call it a more creative name,” she said absentmindedly, turning to face the speaker-- and abruptly feeling her heart stop beating in her chest.

A wolf that was probably twice her height if he was on his hind legs with dull gray fur that was matted with something that Allie really didn’t want to think about even if this was some sort of weird fever dream and eyes that were the shade of the apple that was in the basket on her arm was sitting on the forest floor, tail ramrod straight as he leered at her in a way that would make most moms scream “Predator!” at him and then grab their kid and run away.

(Look at her, calmly describing this gigantic wolf. Honestly, she had no idea how she was processing this without screaming and running away.)

Dream. Dream. This had to be a dream. A Red Riding Hood themed dream, sure, but a dream. Or a nightmare, I guess, ‘cause the wolf was here.

“I mean, I suppose you have a point.” The wolf’s sneer grew more pronounced as his body slinked up off the ground, paws pacing himself forward as he stared at the thirteen-year-old girl, tongue flicking across black lips. “Though I don’t hear you offering any suggestions.”

Swallow. Allie was acutely aware that her throat was suddenly achieving desert-wasteland levels of dry. She was tempted to grab the bottle of prune juice and drink it, before dismissing it. She wasn’t that thirsty. “Uh... no, I guess not. Um, listen, I, I sort of had a prior engagement--”

Allie barely had time to cringe at the fact that she’d just used the words prior engagement before her back was slamming into hard dirt, basket bouncing and somehow not dumping its contents all over the ground, the fuzzfruit (seriously need a better name for that) clutched in a suddenly very sweaty palm.

The wolf’s lips peeled back in an angry snarl from where he was pressing her into the ground, paws resting on her shoulders. His voice somehow still sounded smooth, if not... menacing.

Very, very menacing.

“Where do you think you’re going, little girl?”

Dream. Dream. This is a dream.

A hot splotch of drool from the wolf’s lips dripped off, hitting her cheek and making her aware that his breath smelled like he smoked cigarettes 24/7.

This is a dream. This has to be a dream.

“Uh... would you care for a truffle?”

Don’t ask me why Allie asked this. Her brain had just totally short-circuited and now she was spitting out the first thing that came to her mind. Cue really, really poorly timed questions and silly responses to situations that most people in their right mind would never, ever do.

The wolf’s paw slapped the basket out of her hands, the wicker basket stinging her fingers from the force of how hard he’d slapped it into a bush somewhere behind her, snarl somehow growing more pronounced. “Good god, no, I hate truffles. Now answer me.”

Cue the good decisions train as Allie did the first thing that came to her-- her hand came up and slapped his nose. The wolf did the sensible thing, which was to jerk back, clap his hands (er... paws) to his nose, and say “Ow!”

Allie’s limbs started to move jerkily, propelling her backwards until one hand knocked the wicker basket the wolf had whacked out of her hands a few moments before. Said wolf was recovering from his surprise and glaring at her, teeth baring as he looked like he was about to snarl at her.

Panic mode promptly cued in, and Allie simply flung the strawberry... fuzzfruit... whatever the heck it was right at the wolf. Miraculously, her poor aim actually functioned this time, and said fuzzfruit went soaring straight into the wolf’s throat, as the wolf had coincidentally opened his mouth to snap at her.

He promptly choked and started pawing frantically at his throat, as if trying to keep from choking to death on a fuzzfruit. (Wow, that... would be a stupid thing to put on a tombstone.) His red eyes widened as he gagged, looking much like he would like to throw up.

Allie pawed through the basket that she’d recovered, finding a handful of truffles. Grabbing them out of the basket, along with the bottle of prune juice, she held them like they were ninja stars and not... well, a handful of fungi and prune juice. “Come any closer and I will not hesitate to throw this disgusting filth at you!” she shouted.

(Hm. That had sounded better in her head. Less dorky.)

The wolf was still trying to swallow the fuzzfruit as Allie gave an angry growl herself, lowering her ammunition and narrowing her green eyes at the wolf as her brain finally stopped short-circuiting. “Okay, look you stupid fur-face, this is a dream. I want to wake up. If you eating me is what it takes, then... fine, go ahead.”

He promptly made a grossed-out face in her direction. Which was a new experience, because Allie had not realized that wolves could make grossed-out faces. “Wh-- no! Ew! People taste disgusting, last thing I want to do is eat you!”

He gave a violent shudder, fur kind of standing on end like a cat’s momentarily. “No thank you! The heeeeeeck--”

Allie was about ninety percent sure the ‘heck’ had originally been a ruder word. This was a new experience, apparently this wolf knew swear words too.

“-- has gotten into you, Red?! You disappear for who knows how long and then you pop in and start acting--?”

“Excuse me excuse me excuse me-- what?!” Allie interrupted, one eyebrow shooting up. “Did you just call me Red?! Like Little Red Riding Hood?”

The wolf gave a scowl. Seriously, this wolf was making all sorts of facial expressions that Allie would’ve never expected. “Yes! Seriously, what’s going on with--?”

“Oh.” Allie abruptly calmed down here. It was a dream-- or a hallucination, or whatever-- so no point in getting mad now. “Uh... I’m not Little Red Riding Hood.”

His words didn’t fully make it out of his throat as his brain processed them, before the wolf cocked his head at her. “Oh, you’re not?”

“No. Why, do I look like her?” Allie paused and then gave him a weird look. “And if you’re the wolf from Little Red Riding Hood-- I am certainly hallucinating, by the way-- then shouldn’t you be trying to eat me?”

The wolf scrubbed at his head, a sheepish expression crossing his face as he gave the most awkward cough that Allie had ever heard. “Oh. Uh. That explains things.”

Upon clearing his throat, he gave his head a shake and gave Allie a sheepish smile. (Somehow. She was learning all sorts of things about facial expressions today.) “Er... no. We just reenact the whole Little Red Riding Hood nonsense.”

Allie nodded. Really, this was a dream. This was the most logical dream she’d had thus far in her life. Usually she had something about cats in her dreams, so this was really a refreshing change. “Mm-hm. I see.”

The wolf cocked his head at her again. “Uh... would you like me to explain things?” He paused again, rather awkwardly, before giving a toothy smile that somehow did not look predatory. “Er... I’ve got tea.”

“... are you inviting me to your area of residence for tea?”

Okay, maybe she was dumb for asking, but she was trying to reconcile this weird moment in her dream/hallucination/whatever-the-heck-this-was with normal logic.

A wolf...

Wanted to explain things to her...

Over tea.

"Um... yes.”

Allie blinked twice at this very eloquent response.

“Okay.”

Uh, so this was originally part of the first chapter in the original. That was dumb spacing. Here’s a ‘second chapter’ I guess.

Three notes on either the first or the second chapter and I’ll randomly upload extra chapters.

The original is crap.

... oh boy.

#chapter 2 #stories and costumes #ariza luca #original story #story #book #from 2014 technically #old #old story