#as i frequently say. ive gotta get tf outta here and find a phd

[opens-up-4-nobody]

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#me at abt 10 this morning: if i find one more fucking grass in gonna lose it and start stabbing the ground #12 unknown grasses to keep track of. fucking. i am not a plant person. they all look the fucking same. id i track them correctly? who tf #knows but i tried. and the ground here is so weird it doesnt quite work for what were trying to do collection wise. the mosses arent that #bi0crust-y so i might have to use the bryophite chamber on them. and we only have one of those so that will cause me a lot of agony #3.5hrs just looking at plants and dirt and calling out names while doing lunges. my legs are jelly #at least we only had to do 8hrs today and halfway thru i got to do collecting on one side by myself #its a lot more tolerable when no one else is there bc i sing to myself when im stressed tf out lmao #fuck sagebrush tho. it makes my nose run so bad. my nose and mouth r so raw feeling. when i got back my nose started bleeding in the shower #3 more fucking days until we leave and its 2 days of travel #and in theory we have 2 more locations where we're gonna sample #and one is even further away in California. and at the end of all this i get to run these samples #which nearly brought me to full on mental collapse last time. so yaaaaay #as i frequently say. ive gotta get tf outta here and find a phd #im not an ecologist. its good ill have an ecology background but like im more a mechanisms person #the other 2 locations r prob gonna happen later this year at some pt but idk #like i get y the project is important and if u told me abt it blind id b like oh thats interesting #but like in a way where id be fine never knowing. it doesnt make me feel anything. ya kno? #so ive gotta get out before i break my brain beyond repair #unrelated