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https-yeonjun · 3 months

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the seven stages of you and i (c.sb)

summary. when you first met soobin, you knew he was going to play a lead role in your life. you were going to make sure of it. you just didn't know what to expect.

or: the story of a boy, a girl, and the turbulence that fills the space between them.

wc. 14,444 words

genre. angst

tags. soobin x fem!reader, childhood friends to lovers to ???, best friends to lovers, minors DNI, negligible amount of smut (implied virgin!soobin x virgin!reader, first time, protected sex) featuring beomgyu, taehyun, and kai from txt, yuna from itzy, and arin from oh my girl

a/n. repost; this was also finally edited!!! classic quintessential fay angst!! we're so back!!! i’ve been writing this story for two months. it’s the longest thing i’ve written and i’m super proud of it. please let me know if i missed any warnings or made any typos. i really hope you all enjoy it.

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you can vividly remember the first time you ever saw soobin.

it was the summer before third grade started.

it had been an unbearably hot summer and with the school year looming just a month away, you were dreading going back to school and trying so hard to not think about having to meet your new teacher and make new friends.

so to take you mind off the soul crushing pressures of elementary school, you begged your mom to let you go to the park. she refused, claiming she had to work, but the two of you made a compromise and you settled for riding your bike around the cul-de-sac where she could still see you from the dining room table.

you had been riding for thirty minutes, quickly growing tired of the rays of the sun beating down on your skin. you were about to call it a day, but that’s when you saw it.

the gray honda civic driving past you, the sun reflecting on the hood of the car. the woman in the front seat, slowly waking up from her slumber. her husband tapping her shoulder excitedly, looking at his new home in awe.

and him.

the young boy staring out the window with wide eyes as the car pulled into the driveway of the house beside yours.

you darted inside to tell your mom you had new neighbors.

at dinner time, she took you over with some food. “hello, we live right next door.” she introduced herself to the woman that opened the door. “i just thought you guys could use a warm meal with moving and everything.” behind her legs, you could see the little boy peeking at you.

she invited you in and you remember the way their house looked so devoid of life. what was supposed to be the living room was a sea of boxes. your mother sat beside his mother on the old brown leather couch that sat in the back of the room.

you caught soobin’s gaze, watching you taking in the sight of his new home. he looked away when he noticed you looking at him. you moved to sit beside him on the floor.

“i saw you,” he said when he registered your presence beside him.

“what?” you were slightly taken aback.

“outside.” he clarified. “you were on your bike.”

“oh,” you muttered. “my name is y/n.” you reached out to shake his hand. he looked at you, a bit puzzled, yet mirrored the gesture, his grip gentle and feeble.

“i’m soobin.”

“how old are you?”

“i’m almost 10.” he answered, glancing down at his hands.

“why did you move here?”

“my dad got a job.”

“do you want to ride bikes tomorrow?”

“i don’t know how.” soobin looked at you, uncertainty flickering in his eyes, his shy demeanor even more pronounced.

“i can teach you.” you offered.

and the next morning, at 11 sharp, soobin showed up in front of your house ready to learn. after that afternoon, you decided that you liked him and he was going to be your best friend. he didn’t talk much but he always listened to you, with a goofy smile plastered on his face. when he did talk, he answered all your questions thoughtfully. and most importantly, even after he fell down multiple times, he still showed up at your house the next day, waiting to learn.

by the time you got to middle school, everyone knew that you were two peas in a pod. from the day you met, everywhere you went, soobin wasn’t far behind, following you like a lost puppy. you always carpooled together; you always ate lunch together; you were even in all the same clubs.

and so when eighth grade began, you two were separated for the first time in five years and it was so hard for you to adjust to not seeing him every second of every day.

the first morning of the school year, you stopped yourself from asking your mom where soobin was when he wasn’t at your car waiting for you. you wandered through the halls to your regular lunch table a little surprised and mostly disappointed when you didn’t see him sitting with an extra cookie he always got from the lunch lady. after school, you sat awkwardly, alone, on the bench outside of the school building waiting for your mom to pick you up.

when you got home, you didn’t even bother going up to your room. you threw your backpack on the couch and made a beeline for his house. you flopped onto his bed with a sigh as soon as you got to his room, the softness of the mattress cradling you. he didn’t look up from where he sat at his desk doing his homework, but he acknowledged your arrival with a quiet hello.

“how was your first day of high school?” you asked, emphasizing the last part of your question.

“it was okay.” he scribbled something in his book.

“just okay?” you pressed.

“it was kind of weird.” he turned his chair around and finally looked up at you.

“did you miss me?”

“yeah, a little,” he confessed. a soft warmth bloomed in your chest, and you couldn’t help but smile to yourself.

“i think i might try out for the football team,” he blurted out of nowhere. “or maybe basketball? i don’t know yet.” you bursted out in laughter.

“did i say something funny?”

“you have no athletic bone in your body.” you countered, still chuckling.

“we don’t know that.”

“oh, we do,”

he moved to join you on the bed, books in hand, and you watched him with a fondness that didn’t need words as he made himself comfortable.

“i always tell you not to wear your outside clothes on my bed.” he jokingly admonished.

“do you like your school?”

“i mean, it’s only my first day. but it was okay.”

you paused, both to process what he just said and to figure out how to word what you really wanted to say. “i don’t want you to forget about me or stop hanging out with me or whatever.”

“you’re literally going to the same school next year.” he teased you.

“i know, but still.”

“you’re a hard person to forget about, y/n.”

“you’re just saying that,” you felt the blood rush up to your cheeks, and subsequently rushed to hide your face in his sheets.

“no, i mean, you literally wouldn’t let me forget about you.” he laughed and in response, you threw a pillow at him.

but in the back of your mind, you knew he was right – you couldn’t let him forget about you. and as the days rolled on, you made it a point to go over to his house for hours after school. at least for the first month and a half of the smeester. that was until the demands of school grew and he started having to stay after school for clubs and going over to people’s houses for projects. by the time the holidays rolled around, your moments together were reduced to the seconds you saw him in the mornings when you were both leaving for school. and for the most part, it stayed like that going into the summer.

the summer after eighth grade, you saw soobin a total of three times.

the first time you saw him was on memorial day. your dad, not exactly the biggest fan of your plan to stay home the entire summer, pushed you out of the house to go to his family’s barbecue. you went to soobin’s house with a tray of cookies (because you never go to someone’s house empty handed, your mom told you beforehand). he greeted you with a casual wave before disappearing upstairs to play video games with his friends. you lingered around his house for ten minutes, until you felt completely uncomfortable by yourself, when you slipped away back to your room, cocooning yourself in your bed, tears tracing paths down your cheeks, soaking into your sheets beneath you.

the second time was sometime right after the fourth of july. his dad was taking him on a fishing trip and you just so happened to be getting the mail as they were leaving. you tried to pretend not to see him, eyes fixed on the ground, your heart pounding. and you thought it worked. but later that day, a message lit up your phone screen – soobin confessing that he missed you. you deliberated for two hours before typing out a guarded response: “me too.” two weeks stretched out like an eternity before his next message came.

the third time was actually the day before your first day of high school when he came over to your house under orders from his mother. he stood at your bedroom door, a mixture of apprehension and determination etched across his face.

when you opened the door, all the feelings of abandonment came flooding through your mind – every time you cried thinking about how he was ignoring you, every time your parents had to force you to get out of the house and breathe in fresh air, everything came at once.

“what are you doing here?” you spat at him. your words were a shield, sharp and defensive.

“my mom said i should come check on you.” he responded, his hand absently massaging the back of his neck. you yielded, allowing him to enter the room, but he hesitated, lingering by the door, too afraid to sit down.

“are you nervous about high school?” he ventured.

you met his gaze, scanning his eyes for sincerity. “not really.”

“i’m sorry,” he admitted, his voice heavy with regret. “i’ve been pretty shitty to you this year.”

“yeah, you have been pretty shitty.”

“i meant it when i said i missed you.”

“i know.”

“are we good?”

he didn’t really apologize, you understood that. but sometimes, especially in that moment, it seems easier to forgive him than confront him about how horrible he made you feel. and so you concede, not realizing that you’re setting the precedent for you guys to saunter in and out of each other's lives as you please. “yeah, we are.”

you invite him to sit on the bed with you and he joins you.

“so, what is high school really like?” you ask, trying to clear the air of tension that lingered.

“well, it’s nothing like high school musical,” he began.

and although you were apprehensive about forgiving him so quickly, you couldn’t deny how good this felt. sitting here with him, not thinking about the future or the past. just being here talking about nothing and everything at the same time. if you could, you would have captured this moment and put it in a snow globe to look at everyday.

the next morning, you stood at the threshold of the school building, soobin towering beside you. as you walked into the school together, you couldn’t help but notice the subtle shift in the atmosphere. soobin seemed to be a lot more popular than he led on and he navigated the halls with a confidence that belied his usually reserved nature. students and teachers alike greeted him as you walked through the halls.

“okay, mr. superstar,” you teased.

“well, i am class president.” he tells you shyly.

“why didn’t i know this?” you wondered aloud. he offered you a nonchalant shrug but continued guiding you through the labyrinth of corridors that made up the school.

as you approached your classroom, the reality of where you were dawned on you. you turned to soobin, seeking reassurance from him. “i’ll see you at lunch?”

“yeah,” he affirmed.

with a final smile, you slipped into the classroom, taking a seat beside a girl who was looking at you with wide eyes.

“you know soobin?” she blurted out when you sat down.

your brows furrowed in confusion. “yeah?” you answered, taken aback.

“how?”

“uh, he’s my friend.” you explained, scanning the room for an empty seat.

a spark of hope lit up her eyes. “can you introduce me to him?”

you hesitated, your discomfort growing with each passing second. “i don’t even know you.”

a wave of awkwardness washed over the both of you. without waiting for a response, you quickly gathered your things, seeking refuge in a different seat on the other side of the classroom. what the hell was that? you thought to yourself as the other students filed into the class.

save for that strange moment in the first period, the rest of your classes went by completely unremarkable until lunch time rolled around. you arrived at the cafeteria fifteen minutes after lunch started. you were trying to navigate the way between hundreds of bodies in the hallway and found yourself in a completely different wing of the school. why does a high school have to be this big? you asked yourself when you collided with a girl.

“are you okay?” you asked her.

“yeah, i’m just trying to find the cafeteria.” her response came with a note of relief.

“me too. i’m y/n.”

“i’m yuna and this school is way too big.” she remarked, a trace of exasperation lacing her words.

“yeah, i got a tour this morning and i’m still confused.”

should we ask someone for help?” yuna suggested.

“yeah,” together you venture into a nearby classroom to ask a teacher for help.

meanwhile, in the cafeteria, soobin took advantage of your little detour to offer a preemptive warning to his friends about how to act around the freshman girl that was going to be eating lunch with them.

“i’m serious, you guys, don’t be weird.”

“when have we ever been weird?” beomgyu asked, but his playful tone is punctuated by a stray fry launched by kai, which found its target on taehyun’s head.

soobin gave beomgyu a knowing look.

“we won’t be weird, okay?” his friend reassured him. “what’s with the girl anyways?”

“she’s my best friend and i don’t want you guys to scare her.”

you finally make it to the cafeteria with yuna by your side. soobin introduced you to his friends, and you briefly remember them from memorial day. as the lunch period dragged on, you sat quietly, observing soobin in his element. you never felt this way before, but watching the way he interacted with his friends made him a little more attractive in your eyes. there was a magnetism in his confidence and you couldn’t help but entertain thoughts that had never crossed your mind before.

and from them, you found yourself yearning for those stolen glances, fingers brushing in passing and shared laughter that lingered just a little longer than usual.

being best friends with someone older than you had its perks, especially when that person was as smart as soobin. you were pretty good at biology freshman year, and chemistry was okay too. but no one warned you that knowing the powerhouse of the cell or all the symbols of the periodic table was enough to equip you for an honors physics class.

even though you stayed up for three nights in a row, you didn’t expect to do so bad on the unit test. it was embarrassingly bad. like bringing the class average down bad. like being handed back a folded test bad. you opened your test packet hesitantly, only to quickly close it again upon seeing the harsh, red “36/100” glaring back at you. the room seemed to close in around you, the disappointment heavy in the air.

after class, you went to meet your teacher. “are you sure there’s no way i could get some extra credit or something?” you asked, your voice carrying a mix of desperation and determination.

“y/n,” he said, his tone firm. “if i give you extra credit, i have to give everyone extra credit,” he advised. “if you want a better grade, i suggest you study harder.”

“fucking asshole,” you mutter under your breath as you left the classroom. the slam of the door echoed down the empty hallway.

yuna, who was waiting for you outside your class, scowled when she saw your demeanor. “what’s wrong?”

“he’s such an asshole.”

“what did he do this time?”

you handed her your test and slung your backpack onto your shoulder in frustration. her face scrunched up when she saw the red ink that scattered the page. she reached out to gently caress your hair in a soothing gesture. “oh, honey…”

“and he wouldn’t let me do extra credit.”

“didn’t your boyfriend take this class last year?” yuna asked, trying to find a solution.

“boyfriend?” you replied. you knew where she was going with this, but you wanted to see if she would actually say it. but you knew she was never one to back down. “soobin?” she asks.

“not my boyfriend.” you remind her in a singsong voice, causing her to roll her eyes.

“well, i’m pretty sure he took this class last year. just ask him to tutor you.”

you hum, pulling out your phone to text him.

to soob: i hate to ask you this but i really need your help

from soob: you know i’m always gonna help you what do you need

to soob: one quiz away from failing physics can my bestest friend in the whole entire world help me

from soob: you know you don’t need to butter me up but i’ll take it

to soob: you know i love you so much right? can you come over tonight?

that evening, you meticulously laid out your physics notes and textbook on the kitchen island. you were stressing a lot, and in an attempt to calm your racing thoughts, you decided to bake. the sounds of the mixer and the clinking of the measuring cups was always something that soothed your anxious thoughts.

as the timer chimed, you pulled the tray of cookies out from the oven. just as you set them on the cooling rack, the doorbell rang, sending a jolt of nervous anticipation back through you.

you open the door to soobin.

“thank you again for doing this,” you said as you welcomed him inside. you guided him to the island. “i made cookies, so please feel free to take some.”

his eyes brightened with surprise. “you made cookies? i didn’t know you could bake.”

“i started in middle school,” you confessed, a hint of vulnerability crept into your voice. “my therapist said it was a good way to process my emotions. i don’t know.”

“you’re in therapy?”

“yeah, since middle school.”

“oh.”

the atmosphere in the kitchen shifted. you both settle into your seats. the tutoring session began, but despite your best efforts, you found it hard to focus. the equations and diagrams that soobin so easily drew out seemed to blur together and your mind drifted elsewhere. the only thing you could concentrate on was soobin’s long, veiny hands as they gracefully navigated the pages of the physics textbook in front of you.

“should we take a break?” his voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

you blinked, realizing that you had been staring at the same problem for a little too long. “i’m sorry. long day.”

“no, don’t apologize,” soobin reassured you. “it’s getting late anyways. we can always try again tomorrow.”

the next few tutoring sessions followed a similar pattern, but today you managed to gather yourself and focus, determined not to get lost in the small smile that graced soobin’s face whenever you correctly answered a question.

“you know what you’re doing?”

“what?”

“you know what you’re doing. just don’t overthink it.” he was referring to the problem set in front of you.

“oh, yeah,” you replied, your hand moving swiftly across the paper. in your mind, even if you got the question wrong, he would patiently explain it to you. this way, you wouldn’t be trapped in your head, thinking about how close he was to you, close enough to pick up hints of his shampoo, or how pretty his eyes looked with the kitchen lights dancing in them, or how soft his hands felt as they brushed against yours when he took the paper from you.

to your surprise, you managed to avoid any embarrassment for the rest of the session.

“when’s your next test?”

“in two weeks, i think,”

“we can meet a couple of nights a week until then,” he suggested.

as time passed, you found it easier to concentrate, the initial nervousness giving away to a growing confidence. you had to admit. soobin was a good tutor and with each passing day, you felt the weight of the test lessen, until the day of the test.

from soob: test day! how are you feeling?

to soob: i think i’m going to throw up

from soob: please don’t you’re going to do great you know i’m always rooting for you!!

you walked into the classroom with your chin held high, determined to “fake it till you make it” your way into a passing grade, but you spent the rest of the week after that a bundle of restlessness and anticipation.

finally, the day you dreaded the most arrived. the door swung open, and your teacher strode in, a stack of papers clutched in his hand. you held your breath, fingers crossed under the desk as he made his way down the rows, inching closer and closer.

“good job,” he smiled at you when he handed you your test.

after class, you practically sprinted to soobin’s locker, eager to share the news.

“check me out! i’m a nerd like you,” you exclaimed, thrusting the test paper towards him.

“har har,” he let out an amused snort, rolling his eyes. “i knew you could do it. maybe next time we can shoot for a 100?”

“i think we should focus on maintaining this 80%,” you chuckled. “i think this calls for a celebration. can you come over tonight?”

that evening, you and soobin set out to tackle the challenge of baking brownies. he was good at a lot of things but admittedly was very useless in the kitchen.

“it’s fine.” you reassured him, “i can teach you.”

“you’re always teaching me things,” he noted, his ears burning as he looked down at the mixing bowl.

“what are you talking about? i’m literally now passing physics because of you.

“not school things,” he explains. “i mean like practical life things. you taught me how to ride a bike; you taught me how to make friends––”

“i taught you how to make friends?”

“yes, you did. being friends with you just made me outgoing, i guess.”

“hmm.”

“anyways, you’re teaching me how to bake, although i think this might be a lost cause,” he quipped, eyeing the ingredients skeptically.

“just crack those eggs,” you instructed.

while you dealt with other things, soobin stood expertly mixing the batter. “can i taste it?” you asked, holding up a spoon.

“wait, this is so good,” you marveled at your own recipe.

soobin’s gaze met yours, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. he edged closer to you. “you have something…” he said softly, swiping your chin with his thumb, then tasting the chocolate batter from his finger.

“oh, uh, th-thanks,” you stammered, turning toward the sink to hide the elated grin that threatened to give you away. inside, you were almost bursting at the seams.

“so, cookies are for nerves, brownies are for celebration?” soobin asked, as you two settled onto the plush couch.

“and cakes are for when i’m sad,” you quipped, fingers deftly flicking the remote to life. “what do you want to watch?”

“i don’t care. whatever you want.”

wrapped in the cocoon of the soft blanket, you both sank into the cushions, the movie’s glow flickering across your faces.

as the credits rolled on the screen, you and soobin sat up, still close, but the proximity was charged with an unspoken confession.

“did you like the movie?” you asked, attempting to dispel the atmosphere.

“we’ve seen it like a million times,”

“yeah, but still.” you press and he just shrugs.

after a pregnant pause, he finally broke the stillness. “i feel like i need to tell you something.”

your heart quickened, a whirlwind of emotions swirling within. “yeah?”

“i, uh,” his voice wavered for a moment. “i like you,” he admitted, his words stumbling out in a rush, eyes fixed on a point somewhere in the middle distance.

“what?”

“i like you,” he repeated, softer and steadier this time. soobin’s heart raced, his pulse thrumming in his ears as he awaited your response. you, on the other hand, were filled with surprise and something else, you couldn’t even decipher. your breath caught. it was like the air had grown heavier, charged with unspoken desires and uncharted territory.

“oh.” you managed to let out. “that’s… oh.”

his gaze flickered back to his hands, usually so steady, that laid, slightly trembling in his lap. “it’s fine if you don’t feel the same. i’ve just been dealing with these feelings for a while and i just needed to tell you.”

“soobin, it’s—”

“you don’t have to say anything; i get it.” he interjected, “just forget about this. i value our friendship a lot more, so i don’t want things to be awkward between us.”

“soobin!” you exclaimed your voice firm and determined. “i like you too, but we… we can’t do this.”

“why not?”

“well, for starters, you’re graduating in the spring.”

“and i’m probably going to school, like what? two hours away?”

“i don’t want you to feel like you’re missing out on your college experience by being with me or whatever.”

“y/n, you’re literally my best friend.”

“precisely why we shouldn’t risk it,” you insisted. “i cherish our friendship, and i don't want to jeopardize it.”

“i promise you there’s absolutely nothing that could ever make us not be friends.”

“i don’t… i don’t know.”

“sleep on it, okay?” he conceded, rising from the couch. “i should probably go home.”

you escorted him to the door, the gravity of the moment still lingering. “see you tomorrow?” he asked, framed in the doorway. the threshold seemed both a physical and emotional boundary, like a bridge between the familiar present and the uncertain future of your relationship.

“yeah.”

he leaned forward, a gentle breath of warmth preceding the tender press of his lips against your cheek. “goodnight, y/n,” he murmured before fading into the night.

your fingers lightly brushed your cheek, still tingling from where his lips had been. the sensation was still tingling, like a spark of electricity had been left behind. climbing the stairs you couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. you felt like you were floating as you made your way to your room, crashing on your bed, kicking your feet thinking about the fact that he likes you.

the next day, you decided to skip lunch in the cafeteria. “please can you tell me why we’re eating lunch in the library today?” yuna asks, tossing her backpack onto a beanbag in the corner of the library where you settled.

“something happened last night.”

“did you and soobin finally kiss?” she asked, a sly grin creeping onto her face. you look up at her, trying to suppress your smile.

“well, not really.”

“not really? what happened?”

“he told me he liked me.”

yuna let out an excited squeal, earning disapproving glances from the other students.

“and he kissed my cheek.”

“shut up!” she was practically bouncing in her seat, unable to maintain her excitement.

“yeah, you should shut up.” some guy at a nearby table griped, annoyed by the disruption.

she rolled her eyes, returning her attention to you. “anyways, i’m so happy for you.”

“don’t get your hopes up.”

“oh, no.”

“yuna, he’s graduating soon.”

“okay? i don’t see what the problem is. you’ve had a crush on him forever and he was the one who said it first.”

“i just don’t want to do a long distance thing.”

“he lives right beside you.”

“and he’s moving away in seven months.”

“he’s moving to a different town, not a different country.”

“hey, you guys are making a lot of noise,” the library assistant reprimanded, approaching your table. “and you know you’re not allowed to eat in here.” she referred to yuna’s food.

“sorry,” you apologized, your voice meek.

she walked away, leaving you both to your conversation.

“yeah, ‘cause my carrots are going to crumb all over the books,” yuna quipped, but she complied, tucking away her lunch.

“i just don’t want to lose my best friend.”

with a multitude of thoughts swirling around your head, you knew you needed to talk to soobin. after school, you made your way to his house. as you walked to his bedroom, each step was weighed down by the uncertainty and anticipation that filled your heart.

the soft knock on soobin’s door pulled him from his thoughts. he swung the door open to find you standing there.

“hey,” you greeted, your voice above a whisper.

“hey,” he stepped back, allowing you in. his heart raced, a mix of hope and fear coursing through him.

you walked into his room taking in the decor. it hadn’t changed much from middle school. his walls were adorned with a mix of posters. a bookshelf stood against one of the walls, filled with a well-organized collection of novels, textbooks, and mementos. his desk, which sat by the window, was decorated with photos of the two of you from elementary school that you surprisingly hadn’t seen before. looking at them gave you the motivation to have the say everything that you wanted to say.

he gestured to his bed. you settled into your usual spots, the silence stretching, punctuated only by the soft sounds of the clock. soobin couldn’t help but steal glances at you, the room charged with tension.

“so, we should talk about last night.” you took a deep breath. he turned to face you, his gaze steady, waiting for your words. “i’ve been thinking a lot,” you continued. “and i do want to give this, us, a try.”

a smile broke across his face and you couldn’t help but melt. “you have no idea how happy that makes me.”

you mirrored his smile, a sense of contentment settling in your chest. “but,” you added, your expression turning more serious, “you are graduating soon, so we need to be realistic.”

he nodded. “we can face it together, one step at a time.”

you reach out, your fingers finding his. “okay,”

“can i kiss you now?”

“yes,” you giggled.

he cupped your face, slowly closing the space between you. meanwhile, your hands snaked their way to the back of his neck, pulling him down so his soft lips met yours. the world seemed to fade away, leaving only the sensation of his lips against yours.

the first touch was as light as a feather, but as a surge of emotion overcame the initial hesitation, the kiss deepened. time seemed to stand still and the moment stretched into infinity until you heard a cough coming from the door.

you quickly pull away from the kiss, your heart racing. soobin’s eyes held affection, his fingers still lightly grazing your cheek. you looked to the door to see his mom with her hands on her hips, a playful smirk on her face. “i was just checking to see if you were going to stay for dinner, y/n.” she said, her voice carrying a hint of amusement.

looking down at your hands, that sat in soobin’s hands, you responded quietly. “yeah, i’ll just text my parents.”

“okay,” she left the room with a knowing smile

“that was so,” you squealed in embarrassment, burying your face in soobin’s shoulder. his warmth enveloped you like a comforting embrace as his fingers gently traced patterns on your back.

“at least she likes you,” he joked, making you groan. “we should go downstairs,” he suggests, pulling away reluctantly.

as you proceed to stand up, he playfully tugged you back down, his eyes never leaving yours. “wait.” his voice held a soft urgency, his gaze locked onto your lips. “just one more.” he leaned in, the touch of his lips against yours sending a surge of warmth through your veins. his smile melted into the kiss.

“okay, we can go now.”

you followed him downstairs and avoided his mom’s knowing glances throughout dinner.

for the next few months, you spent almost every day with soobin. the two of you were once again attached at the hip, savoring every moment leading up to his impending graduation.

and the dreaded day of the ceremony arrived. soobin, loose tie in hand, entered his parents’ room with a furrowed brow. “mom, where’s dad?”

“he had to stop by the office, but he’ll meet us there,” she responded, finishing up her makeup. as she finished she turned to her son, her eyes sparkling. “oh my god,” she cooed. “you look so handsome.” she pulled him into a hug.

“god, mom, relax.” soobin chuckled, gently extricating himself from her affectionate grip. he smoothed out the wrinkles on his shirt.

“is it a crime for a mother to be proud of her son for graduating?”

“no, but i need help with the tie.” he gave it to her.

she took the tie, fingers deftly weaving it into place around her neck. “is y/n coming with us?”

“no, she’s going with her parents.”

“you know, i’m really glad you have her in your life.” there was a tenderness in her voice, her eyes fixed on her son as she put the tie around his neck, adjusting his collar.

“that’s random.”

“it’s not random. i’m just saying you’re graduating and going to college soon, and i just don’t want you to take her for granted.”

“i won’t. i promise.”

“ok,” she declared, a smile gracing her lips, indicating that she had finished. “good to go, we’re leaving in ten minutes so go finish getting ready.”

you arrive at your school’s auditorium thirty minutes before the ceremony began. you quickly settle beside soobin’s mother.

“i’m so glad you guys could make it,” she greeted warmly.

you scanned the hall, searching for your boyfriend in the sea of cap and gowns. the familiar hum of your phone in your lap brought your attention back to the present. it was a text from soobin, asking you to meet him outside the auditorium.

“is my dad there?” soobin’s voice held a note of urgency when he saw you.

“not yet, but your mom said he’s on his way. are you okay?” your hand rested comfortingly on his shoulder, trying to steady his nerves.

“i’m just nervous about the speech and the fact that he isn’t here yet.”

“well, he’s going to be here. who would miss their only child’s graduation?” you offered a reassuring smile, attempting to lighten the mood. “and the speech is going to go perfectly, okay?”

“you don’t know that.”

“yes, i do! you’ve been practicing all week. you’re going to do great.”

“what if i mess up?”

“if you mess up, just find me in the crowd, okay? i’ll be with both your parents and my parents, and we’ll all be cheering on you.”

“alright, thank you.” he took a deep, steadying breath.

you reached up, planting a tender kiss on his lips. “you’re going to do great,” you affirmed, and with that, he headed through the student entrance into the auditorium.

the ceremony flowed seamlessly. pride swelled in you as you watched soobin take the stage. his dad slid into your row just as he went on stage, and you offered him a thumbs-up, met in kind.

you returned to soobin’s house with your parents for the celebration. the living room was adorned with congratulatory banners and balloons, the most bright and colorful you’d ever seen his house.

for most of the party, you didn’t see much of him as he was passed around by friends and relatives that wanted to congratulate him. but eventually, at some point in the night he finds you and the two of you escape from the party to embrace the quiet of his room. the room was dimly lit, and mostly quiet, save for the chatter and the music softly playing from outside the door.

“god, i really needed this,” he confessed, stretching out on his bed. you nestled beside him, resting your head on his chest. he enveloped you in arms, fingers entwined with yours. “talking to people is exhausting,” he sighed.

“you were amazing today,” you reassured him.

“because i had you there with me.”

“and your dad came.”

“yeah, half an hour late. i can’t believe he went to work today.”

“at least he was there.”

“i don’t even care anymore. i’m just happy you were there and that we’re here together right now. i can’t wait for this summer.”

“i need to tell you something.”

“yeah,” he turned to you, fingers gently playing with yours.

“you know how i’m vice president of culinary club?” he hummed in acknowledgement.

“well, our faculty advisor told me about this culinary school that she thinks i should apply to for college.” you explained. “anyways she thinks i need to get a job or internship or something this summer to make my application stronger.”

“yeah,” his voice took on a more tentative tone.

“well, she connected me with one of her friends who owns a restaurant downtown and he said that i could, like, shadow him for the summer.”

“that’s great but–”

“i know. i don’t think it’s going to stop us from spending time together. we’ll still be able to do everything that we planned on doing. it’s just not going to be everyday.”

“baby, you don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“i just feel bad.” your voice softened.

“why?”

“we had so many plans.” you pouted

“and we’ll still be able to do them,” he assured you. “i think it might be good practice for us when i go to school in the fall.”

“yeah, you’re right.”

you leaned up to kiss him, and he kissed you back.

the two of you lingered on his bed, the world beyond the room fading into insignificance. then, a gentle rap on the door pulled you out of your trivial conversations.

“soobin,” his dad entered the room, voice cutting through the hush. “some of your guests are leaving. go downstairs to say goodbye.”

soobin shot up from the bed. “yeah, i’ll head down now.”

“y/n can i talk to you?” his dad asked. soobin looked back at you before leaving the room.

“yeah, what’s wrong?”

“nothing’s wrong. i just wanted to talk to you about soobin.”

“what about soobin?”

“why don’t you sit down,” he suggested. you complied, perching on your boyfriend's bed. “i wanted to talk about soobin because well he’s going to college in the fall and i just want to make sure that he’s not wasting his experience or losing his focus.”

you weren’t sure how to respond. “i’m don’t know–”

“see y/n, you’re a great girl and you’ve been there for soobin for a long time, but you also distract him.”

“what?”

“i work really hard to make sure that my family can live in this neighborhood and so that my only son can go to a good school. i don’t want to see him waste his life over his high school girlfriend.”

your chest tightened, emotions surging. you wanted to speak up, to yell at him and tell him off for inserting himself into your relationship. you wanted to yell at him for even saying this to you when he couldn’t be bothered to show up for his only son’s high school graduation. you wanted to defend your love and your commitment to soobin. but as the tears welled up in your eyes, the words caught in your throat. all you could manage was a quiet, “okay.”

“i’m glad you understand. i know we both care about him and we both want the best for him.”

he exits the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts and your tears. the last words he spoke echoed in your mind. we both want what’s best for him.

you gathered enough composure and strength, wiping away your tears, and made your way downstairs. you attempted to slip away quietly, but soobin caught you at the door.

“you’re leaving?” the dim light from the porch illuminated his face, casting soft shadows across his features.

“yeah, it’s getting late.”

“are you okay?” he noticed the tremor in your voice.

“yeah, i’m just super tired.”

“oh, okay? what did my dad want to talk to you about?”

“oh, he just asked me to send him the videos and photos i took of you earlier.” the lie tasted bitter on your tongue, but you pushed it out regardless, hoping to shield soobin from the weight of his father’s words.

“are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, taking hold of your hands. “do you want me to walk you home?”

“no, yeah, i’m fine.” you pull him into a hug for what felt like an eternity. if he noticed anything wrong with you after that, he didn’t bring it up. “i’ll see you tomorrow.”

that night, you couldn’t fall asleep. the room seemed to close in around you suffocating in its emptiness. the echoes of the conversation with soobin’s father reverberated in your mind, haunting you.

you grappled with the weight of your fears and insecurities. what if he was right? what if you were holding soobin back? distracting him? the thought had always lingered at the back of your mind since you began dating. and now that he was actually starting at college, that unspoken fear threatened to consume you.

maybe his dad was right. you needed to give him the space that he needed to grow. and it’s not like you had to break up with him. you just needed to keep him at an arm’s length and this summer was a chance for you to learn how to do that with you working. so in the weeks that followed, you found yourself pulling away and creating that distance. the space between you stretched as you took more shifts at work and spent less time with your boyfriend.

“i might move into school a week early,” soobin told you one day when you were hanging out in your room.

you felt your heart sink.

you hadn’t spent that much time together and now you had even less time together. it felt like a cruel twist of fate. still, you masked your disappointment with forced encouragement. “that’s good.” you muttered. “get to know the area better.”

“you think i should go?”

“i mean, if you want to. it seems like a good idea.”

“okay,”

as the day arrived for soobin to leave for school, you felt a void open up within you. the weight of missed moments and unspoken words crushed your soul, suffocating in their intensity. you called out of work but stayed in bed all day, cocooned in the covers, crying about the fact that you couldn’t allow yourself to savor the little time you had with soobin.

when soobin facetimed you later that evening, your heart both leapt and sank at the sight of his face. “hey, let me see your face.”

“i look horrible,” you groaned, but still revealed your face that was covered by your blankets and pillows.

soobin’s brows furrowed when he saw your face with your eyes red and your nose puffy. “have you been crying?”

“no, i’m just sick.” you tried to hide it, to mask the pain, but the cracks in your facade were all too evident.

“please, y/n, don’t lie to me.”

the raw vulnerability in his voice cracked something open within you. “i just miss you and i wish I could have helped you move in.”

“maybe i can come home on the weekend after classes start?” you wanted to revel in the possibility of seeing him again so soon, however the question lingered heavy in the air.

“do you think i’m holding you back from getting the full college experience?”

“where did that come from?”

“what if there’s like… i don’t know, a really cool frat party that weekend? would you miss out on that for me?”

“i think i’d rather see my girlfriend than go to some hypothetical frat party.”

“i’m being serious.”

“do you not want me to come home?” his question hung in the air, like a delicate thread of vulnerability. the room seemed to pulse with unspoken tension. your fingers tightened around the edges of your blanket, grasping for comfort and grounding, as you thought over your answer. every second of the silence felt like a weight on your shoulders.

you sighed. “i do, but–”

“then what’s the problem, y/n?” soobin’s voice, slightly raised, tinged with frustration, cut through the hush. “it seems like ever since the summer started you’ve been pushing me away, and i don’t know if i did something wrong.”

“you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“so what’s up?”

“i just don’t want you to feel like you’re wasting your time focusing on your high school girlfriend when you have so much life ahead of you.”

“you’re not just my high school girlfriend.” his voice softened.

“that’s not what i meant.”

“you’re also my best friend. and i don’t ever feel like i’m wasting my time by being with you.”

you contemplate telling him what his dad said, but you ultimately decide against it.

“what are you thinking?” he asked after you didn't respond for a while.

“i don’t know.” you confessed, your voice barely louder than a whisper.

“i need you to be honest with me because i don’t know what you need or how much more i can reassure you that you’re it for me.”

“maybe we should take a break?” the words slipped out before you could stop them.

“what?” soobin’s eyes widened, disbelief and hurt dancing in their depths.

“just maybe for the semester.” you rushed to explain, “so you can get your footing in school and i can focus on college apps.”

“so, you want to break up?”

“not like a real breakup. we’ll still talk and everything, just with some space.” he looked away, his jaw clenched, like he was processing the idea.

“i can’t believe you’re suggesting this.” his voice cracks as he blinks back the tears welling up in his eyes.

“maybe it’s what we need right now. we’ll still talk.” you promised, mostly trying to convince yourself.

the call ended and the weight of your decision settled on your chest, like a heavy ache that echoed the emptiness you felt inside. in your head, you were making the right choice for both of you, but that didn’t make it any easier. and as hard as you tried to maintain your relationship with soobin, over the next few months, the calls and messages became less frequent. the space between you was growing wider and each interaction held a bittersweet tinge, a mix of familiarity and the painful reminder of what once was.

the next break from school came quicker than you had expected. you sat at your desk, catching up on homework as the late morning sun streamed through the window, casting a warm glow across the room. the creak of your bedroom door announced your dad’s presence.

“how are you doing?” he asked, his voice tinged with concern.

a faint smile danced on your lips as you turned to face him. “i’m not going to kill myself dad,” you joked, trying to lighten the mood. “i’m just doing homework.”

“you’ve been in your room all break. i think i’m allowed to be worried.”

you bristled, the walls rising around you like a fortress. “well you shouldn’t be, okay? i’m fine.”

“okay so you don’t care to know that i saw soobin’s car pull up into the driveway?” he asked. you let out a soft, almost imperceptible sigh, your gaze shifted to the patch of sunlight dancing on the floor.

“are you going to see him?” he gently suggested.

“i don’t know if he wants to see me,” you admitted, your voice a hesitant whisper. the weight of uncertainty settled around you, and your dad’s brow furrowed in empathy. he approached you to comfort you. “i think i messed up,” you confessed, the words tasting bitter on your tongue.

he paused to study your face, and then he spoke, his tone filled with reassurance. “i’m sure whatever you did isn’t that bad. who could ever not want to see you?”

a small smile tugged at the corner of your lips, grateful for his attempt to ease your worries. “you’re just saying that because you’re my dad.”

he reached out, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “you know that’s not true. and you know he wants to see you because he cares for you, and he knows you care for him too.”

“and what if that’s not enough?”

his gaze softened, “then you shouldn’t base your worth on what some guys thinks of you.”

“some guy? i thought you liked soobin.”

“yeah, but i like you more.” he pulled you into a warm embrace, the strength of his love wrapping around you like a shield. as he left the room, a sense of comfort lingered in the air. you sat there, the moment stretching, the decision before you felt like a bridge to cross, but you chose to not let fear dictate your actions.

with a determined exhale, you reached for your phone.

to soob: hey, i saw you just got home. whenever you get a chance, can you come over? i think we need to talk.

later that night, in the quiet stillness of your room, you receive a knock on your door. your heart quickened. you leaped out of bed, ready to face whatever awaited for you on the other side of the door.

“hey,” you breathed, the door swinging open to reveal soobin.

“hi,”

“please come in,” you invited him in. you held the door open, allowing him to step into your sanctuary. “how have you been?”

“good,” he replied, though there was a subtle hesitance in his tone.

“really?”

he left out a soft chuckle, a nervous habit that betrayed the calm facade he tried to maintain. “well, no, but i thought it was the appropriate thing to say.” his hand moved to rub the back of his neck. “how are you?”

“been better,” you confessed.

he settled onto the edge of your bed, and you joined him.

“so you wanted to talk?”

“i’m sorry,” the words tumbled from your lips.

“for?”

“everything?” the raw honesty of the moment threatened to engulf you. “asking for a break, not talking to you. i messed everything up.”

“you didn’t mess anything up,” he countered.

“but look at where we are,” you murmured, your gaze falling to the floor, unable to bear the weight of the truth in his eyes.

“and where is that?”

“here.” you took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. “i just want us to be good like before,” you said after a long pause.

soobin’s expression softened, “me too. i’ve missed you.”

“like crying and throwing up every night?” you teased.

“eh, something like that,” a hint of a smile played on his lips, the lamplight catching the warmth in his eyes.

“good to know,” you replied, a smile tugging at your own lips.

“i’ve said this before, but you’re really it for me.”

“is that so?”

“yeah, even though your dad was giving me a stank as i was coming upstairs.”

“he was?”

“yeah, and i thought your parents loved me.”

“they do!”

“that doesn’t sound convincing,” he joked, a genuine laugh filling the room, echoing off the walls.

“they do, they do.” you try to convince him. “they’re just really protective.”

“well, how can i get in their good graces again?”

“maybe by kissing me.” you suggest, teasingly.

“you think kissing their daughter is going to make them not hate me?”

“yeah, i think it might be a start.” you replied, your voice soft, but sure.

“okay.”

he cups your face, pulling you into a tender kiss. as your lips met his, a surge of warmth spread through you, grounding you in the present moment. your hands found their rightful place on the back of his neck, fingers intertwining with the soft strands of his hair. in that fleeting, stolen breath of moment, the world outside seemed to dissolve, leaving just the two of you suspended in this fragile, but powerful connection.

when you finally pulled away, the room took a breath with you. in that moment, everything felt right again. you were back to your version of normal, and it was perfect.

soobin sat cross legend on your bed waiting for you to bring up some snacks. it was the first weekend of your spring break and he decided to come down to surprise you. while waiting for you, his gaze fell upon a large envelope on your bedside table, its seal embossed with the emblem of the culinary school that you had told him about.

“okay, this is a new recipe that i’ve been working on.” you announce, walking into the room with a plate of cookies in your hand. “i want you to be honest with me. that being said, if you hate it, i’m going to cry.”

“why didn’t you tell me that you got in?” he asked as he inspected the envelope.

“because i’m not going.” you set the plate on your bed.

“why not?” concern was etched into the lines of his face.

“for starters,” your gaze drifted to the windows. “i got more money from other schools. besides, it’s on the other side of the country.”

“so?”

“so, that’s too far.”

“but you knew where it was when you applied,” he pressed. “and it’s your dream school.”

“that doesn’t matter, soobin.”

“well, why not?”

“because, you’re here.” you admitted.

“so, you’re staying for me?”

“you don’t want me to?”

“no,”

“oh,”

“y/n,” he leaned forward, reaching out to touch your hand. “i don’t want you to give up on your dreams because of me.” his thumb was tracing patterns on your hand. “why is it so easy for you to understand when it comes to me but not when it comes to you?”

“i’m not giving up on my dreams,” you argued, your eyes meeting the boy on your bed with determination. “i just want to be with you right now.”

his fingers tightened around yours, trying to grasp the gravity of your decision. “we can still be together.”

“with 2000 miles between us?” you questioned. “we could barely handle a hundred. we’re finally good again. i don’t want to go to school across the country and have that change.”

“nothing’s going to change.”

“you don’t know that.”

“you’re right, i don’t know that.” he began, “but i do know that we literally broke up six months ago, and now i’m sitting on your bed again.”

“it wasn’t a break up; it was a break,” you interjected, a small smile playing on your lips.

“okay,” he dragged out the last syllable. “but my point still stands. we’ve been through a lot and we always end up right beside each other.”

you get your laptop from your desk and log into the admissions portal. “are you going to accept it now?”

“no time like the present.”

five months later, you found yourself getting in a taxi to your dorm with your parents by your side. they insisted on driving you there, but you managed to convince them that a cross country road trip would cause more harm than good to your familial relationship.

as you settled into the backseat of the cab, the familiar scent of your mother’s perfume enveloped you. the engine hummed softly beneath you, and the rhythmic sound of tires on pavement created a comforting backdrop.

your mother’s eyes sparkled with a mixture of excitement and a touch of sadness. she reached over and gently squeezed your hand, her grip warm and reassuring. “are you excited, honey?” she asked.

your father, who sat in the front seat, spent the entire ride bombarding you with questions about pepper spray.

you managed to drown out your parents, looking out the window, watching the cityscape evolve as you approached your dorm. the towering skyscrapers seemed to reach for the sky, casting long shadows over the bustling streets. you felt a knot of nervous energy settle in your stomach.

at your dorm, your parents helped you carry your bags up to your room. the air tingled with the scent of freshly painted walls and the promise of new beginnings. your room was a blank canvas, waiting for you to imprint it with your personality.

as you unpacked, your mother offered suggestions for organizing your belongings, and your father, more practically, made a list of all the necessities you needed to get like extra blankets and a first aid kit.

yuna, whose school went back in session a few days earlier, texted you inviting you to hang out with her and her roommate. you walked your parents back to their hotel, eating takeout from a nearby chinese restaurant in their room.

as the meal came to an end, there was a bittersweet air, as you gathered your things and left their room. you met yuna in a park downtown, sitting with her roommate. you ran towards her, the anticipation and joy bubbling over. she enveloped you in a tight hug. “i’m so glad you’re finally here.”

as you walked through the park, the conversation flowed effortlessly. you felt a sense of peace settle over you. it was like the first taste of the home you were building for yourself in this new, unfamiliar place.

you arrived back at your dorm alone. your room greeted you with a sense of familiarity. your side was a collage of memories and personal touches – framed photos, trinkets from home, and the soft glow of fairy lights casting a warm, golden hue.

you sat on your bed, looking out the window, the skyscrapers now standing in line with you. the city’s pulsed thrummed faintly in the distance. gone were the nerves that accompanied you earlier. in their place, a newfound sense of determination settled within you. you knew you had to do what you needed to make this place your own. it was the beginning of a new chapter, and you were ready to embrace it with open arms.

and luckily for you, this new chapter did not come at the detriment of your relationship at first. for the first two months of the semester, you and soobin were still talking everyday and about everything – your classes, the new recipes you were working on, how one of your professors worked at one of the most famous restaurants in the world, and about your friends, how much yuna’s presence helped you settle in, how your roommate neither leaves the room nor says a word to you.

for the first time in this relationship, you could almost say that everything was fine.

but as time went on, you felt yourselves shifting into your old patterns of not talking to each other. in the back of your mind, you couldn’t shake off the feeling that soobin had lied. it seemed like everything was changing. or maybe he was right. maybe this was how it always was. there were never enough hours in the day for you guys to be together and you were coming to find that had always been a pattern throughout your relationship. it was just like eighth grade, or the summer before he left for college, or his first semester of college. the story was almost exactly the same – first it was missing texts because of conflicting class times and time zones. but then hours became days which became weeks and before you knew it, winter break was knocking on your door.

this was the first time you would see soobin in four months and the only thing that you wanted to do was melt into his arms. the familiar sights of your childhood neighborhood rushed past as your dad drove you home from the airport. every turn brought you closer to that one house on the street, the house that held so many memories, and now, the promise of reconnection.

as the car pulled into your driveway, you couldn’t contain your excitement. leaping out, you dashed inside your house, tossing your bags onto your bedroom floor with reckless abandon.

his mother greeted you at the door. “y/n, honey, you’re back!” she exclaimed, pulling you into a tight embrace.

growing up, you never spent much time outside of soobin’s bedroom in his home. his father’s relentless work schedule and his mother’s hesitancy to host guests left the rest of the house shrouded in a quiet unfamiliarity. as you walked through the hallways, you thought about how cold and gray the house looked the summer they moved in. it wasn’t much different now.

a deep breath steadied you as you approached soobin’s closed door.

some things didn’t change. the butterflies that swarmed around in your stomach were a constant companion that signaled you were exactly where you needed to be. but then you thought about how lonely you were without him this semester and you decided that maybe everything changing was for the best.

“y/n, you’re home?” his face betrayed him showing confusion. he never had the best poker face.

“yeah,” you affirmed softly, pushing open the door. there, before you, sat a girl at his desk.

or not.

“uh, this is my friend from school, arin. she couldn’t get a flight home for winter break, so she’s staying here.” soobin explained.

“oh,” you responded with a mix of emotions swirling beneath the surface.

arin extended her hand to you. “hi, it’s so nice to meet you. you must be soobin’s neighbor.”

“and his girlfriend,” you added, declaring your place in the room.

awkward tension hung in the air, a palpable shift in dynamics. as the evening unfolded, you settled into a corner of the room, watching the two converse. your gaze shifted between them, your mind a whirlwind of emotions. you marveled at the ease with which they fell into conversation, recounting stories, laughing. a truly unsettling sight. a pang of envy tugged at your heart.

as the night wore on, their voices became a distant hum to you. you felt like a silent observer, a piece of scenery, fading into the background. you did not plan on watching your boyfriend giggle at someone else’s stories for three hours. you longed for his attention, but that seemed like an impossible request.

soobin, engrossed in his conversation, was too oblivious to your discomfort. it wasn’t that he didn’t care, but rather he was just caught up.

you watched them with a mixture of longing and resignation, trying to convince yourself that this was just a temporary moment of disconnect and that soobin would turn his attention back to you soon. but with each passing minute, that hope waned.

gathering resolve, you got up. “i think i’m going to head home.” you announced.

soobin and arin turned their attention to you, momentarily pulling away from their conversation.

“are you sure?” soobin asked you.

you nodded. “yeah, it’s been a long day. i’ll see you later, soobin. it was nice to meet you, arin.” you turned back to your boyfriend, waiting for his response.

“i’ll walk you home,” he offered.

leaving the room, you couldn’t help but steal a glance back at arin, who was now engrossed in something on her phone. the ache in your chest grew.

the two of you stood in front of your house, the chill of the evening air settling around you. the soft glow from the porch light illuminated the path that led to your front door.

“so, she’s staying the entirety of winter break?” you asked.

“yup,” soobin replied, his words punctuated by a casual pop of the ‘p’. “is there something wrong?”

you hesitated for a moment. “no,” you finally shook your head, a small, rueful smile gracing your lips. “i just wanted to spend time with you alone.”

“we can still spend time together,” he assured. “i feel like you two would get along. she’s a lot like you.”

the reassurance didn’t offer the comfort you sought. instead, it settled uneasily in your stomach. you offered a distracted response, your gaze drifting from the quiet street to your front door.

“yeah, maybe.”

“are you okay?” soobin asked, pulling you back to the present moment.

you forced a smile, masking the swirl of conflicting emotions beneath the surface. “yeah, just tired.”

“okay, goodnight, i’ll see you tomorrow.” he said, leaning down to kiss you. the touch of his lips felt foreign, like a puzzle piece that no longer fit quite right. it was an odd sensation, leaving you with a lingering sense of disconnection. like you were slipping away from each other. you didn’t want to think too much about it, but deep down you knew that no matter how tightly you tried to hold on, it would be no use.

“goodnight,” you whispered, stepping back and slipping into the warmth of your house.

the days that followed were a dance of awkwardness and unspoken tension. you yearned for soobin’s attention, for the familiar touch of his hand, but it just seemed so out of reach.

one chilly afternoon, you all gathered at a small diner on the corner of town. the warm scent of comfort food wrapped around you as you settled into the vinyl booth opposite arin. your boyfriend trailed behind you, hesitating for a moment before sliding into the booth beside you, a subtle shift that did not go unnoticed. it was a tiny pang, but it was there.

you smiled and tried to shake off the unease, focusing on the menu in front of you. as you chatted about school and plans for the break, you couldn’t help but notice soobin’s gaze flickering between the two of you. it was as if he was trying to find balance in a delicate equation.

another time, the three of you planned to visit the ice skating rink. when you arrived at soobin’s house, you were met with the unfamiliar sight of arin in the front seat of the car. you hesitated for a moment, unsure of where to sit. the glance you exchanged with arin held a silent question, but before you could say anything, soobin assured you it wasn’t a big deal.

as the car pulled away, the hum of their conversation and the pulse of the music filled the space, leaving you feeling like a distant observer.

you invited soobin over for a movie night, so imagine your surprise when you opened your front door to see both of them. you smiled dropped as you welcomed them into your house. this was supposed to bring back a flicker of normalcy. you were supposed to nestle into your boyfriend’s side. but even as the movie played, there was a subtle shift in the air. every moment spent with arin was a reminder of the growing distance, like a river slowly widening between you and the person you held closest.

then came that one precious weekend, a rare convergence of circumstances. both of you found your parents out of town at the same time. you invited soobin over and unfortunately, arin was working on a project for school so she couldn’t join. you had to stifle a surge of joy that threatened to bubble over.

“i’m so happy that we’re finally spending time together,” you exclaimed, gently closing your bedroom door behind you. soobin sat on your bed, with your computer resting on his lap. “alone.” you emphasized, a smile playing on your lips.

with purposeful steps, you crossed the room. you carefully lifted the laptop from his lap, placing it on your bedside table. then, with a graceful movement, you straddled his lap, feeling the warmth and familiarity of his presence beneath you.

“i really missed you,” you murmured, your breath mingling with his. leaning in, you captured his lips in a tender kiss.

the room pulsed with newfound energy as the kiss deepened. soobin’s touch was gentle as his hands found their place on the small of your back, holding you close, grounding you in the moment.

as passion ignited between you, a fire that had been smoldering for far too long, you hands moved with purpose, fingers deftly working to remove the barrier that separated you from him.

but then, he pulled away, his breaths coming in measured, uneven intervals. “w-what are you doing?”

“i’m ready,” you replied, your own voice barely above a whisper. the air crackled with tension, every beat of your heart echoing in the silence that followed.

he sat up straighter, his gaze locked with yours. “are you sure?”

“yes, soobin, i’m sure,” you asserted, mustering more confidence. “i want this.”

he took a moment, his breath steadying, before he spoke. “alright,” he said softly.

he gently guided you back onto the bed. “it might be more comfortable if i’m on top,” he suggested. he removed his shirt, casually tossing it to a corner of your room. “please tell me if you want me to stop.”

you nodded in understanding.

“i’m serious, y/n. i need you to tell me if you’re uncomfortable.”

“okay, i will.”

your heart raced as you laid there, your senses heightened. nervous energy tingled through your veins as his hands caressed your sides. his fingers traced the curves of your hips and thighs slowly. every inch of your body lit with flames as he touched you ever so lightly.

slowly, you mirrored his movements, your hands reached for the hem of your t-shirt. with a deep breath, you took off the old t-shirt to match him, laying eagerly in your pretty pink bra.

he stopped to look at you. “wow.” he breathed out. a rush of warmth flooded your cheeks, and you instinctively buried your face in your hands. he pulled your hands down. “don’t hide your face from me, baby.” he murmured with tender eyes. “you’re just so pretty.”

you pulled him down to kiss him. “i need you,” you moaned into the kiss.

soobin’s mouth never left your body as he fumbled with his pants. he licked and sucked on your neck, taking his time with his gray sweatpants. soft moans and sighs kept slipping from your lips as he marked your skin.

“wait,” he stopped. “do you have a condom?”

“top drawer,” you breathed out.

soobin reached into the drawer by the bed, his fingers deftly finding the box nestled amidst an array of trinkets.

“open up for me.” you did as he said, and spread your legs a little wider. he could tell you were nervous as he pulled down your shorts. “do you trust me?” he asked, to which you nodded. “it might hurt for a second, but i promise you, it will only be a tiny amount of pain.” you wrapped your legs around his waist and he slowly rocked his hips against you.

you felt him position his hips so that they were perfectly in line with yours, his tip edging your entrance. he began to work his way into you inch by inch, before steadily pushing in until you were filled with his entire length. he threw his head back in pleasure as he bottomed out in you. your hands still on the back of his neck, you nudged him closer to you. “i know it hurts, baby. i’m sorry. just tell me what you need.”

the pain and discomfort was quickly replaced with pleasure. you gasped quietly, and soobin took it as a sign to finally begin moving. he fell into a rhythm of deep slow thrusts just sent you spiraling. he leaned his face down to your neck for a moment, pressing kisses along your flesh and nipping at your shoulder.

“f-fuck, you feel so good.”

he raised his face again, your noses inches apart. your face was contorted in pleasure and he couldn’t help but groan, thrusting into your harder.

“soobin?” you moaned out.

“yeah, baby? i’m right here.”

“i love you.”

he leaned back down to kiss you, his lips trailing down your jawline to your neck.

every kiss, every thrust progressively getting faster was sending you over the edge, making you pant and moan underneath him. the sounds coming from you were making his head spin and he could feel himself getting closer to his orgasm.

he was hitting you in the right spot, causing a knot to form in your lower stomach as you approached your breaking point. the knot in your stomach tightened and snapped. your walls spasmed and clenched around him as you released all over his cock. your body was shaking from the intensity, as you cried his name out. fueling his organs. his hips stuttered and he joined you in climax.

his movements ceased to slow rolls of his hips before eventually stopping.

soft pants and deep breaths invaded the space and filled the room around you. you stayed like that for a moment, catching your breath. he then carefully pulled out. he held your body close to his chest, his eyes softening as he looked down at your exhausted face.

you nuzzled your head into soobin’s neck, kissing along his jawline. “that was so good.” you said between kisses. soobin responded with a contented hum, his fingers gently rubbing against your arm. the soft rustle of the sheets provided a soothing backdrop to the intimacy you had just shared, cocooning you in a bubble of fleeting bliss

but as the minutes passed, a subtle shift began to settle between you, like a distant tremor foreshadowing an impending quake. soobin’s touch, once tender and reassuring, began to falter. his breath, once steady and calming, now held an undertone of uncertainty.

“i should probably go back home,” soobin said, his arm slowly retreating from around your shoulder. “arin is alone.”

“seriously?” you turned to face him, a mixture of confusion and anger plastered on your face.

“what? she’s a guest.”

“you’re leaving?” you hold onto his arm, desperate to keep him close. “i thought you were going to spend the night.”

“i can’t leave her alone.”

“soobin, i just lost my virginity to you…” your voice trailed off, tears forming in your eyes. your hands dropped to your lap. the room seemed to close in around you, suffocating in its silence.

“y/n–” you could feel your blood boiling.

“don’t.” you shifted away from him on the bed. “i just lost my virginity to you and you want to spend the night with some other girl.”

“i’m not spending the night with her.”

“what’s so special about her?”

“what?”

“why have you chosen to spend every moment of this break with her instead of me?”

“we spend time together.”

“yeah, with her always there.”

the room seemed to hold its breath, the weight of your words settling into the air.

“she’s my friend and i care about her.”

“you care about her?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, every word laced with a pain that cut through the silence.

“yes i do. she couldn’t go home for winter break. I just want to make sure she doesn’t feel alone.”

“well what about me?”

“y/n, come on.”

“i told you i loved you.”

“y/n, i–” you could almost hear your heart break. he couldn’t even say it back to you.

you quickly sobered up, your walls rising like a fortress around you. “i think you should leave.”

“hey,” he reached out to hold you, but you swatted his hand away, the touch too little, too late. his fingers hung in the air for a moment before dropping, defeated.

“no. i don’t want you here anymore. you should go home.”

soobin stood up and got dressed. his movements were deliberate and slow as he gathered his scattered clothes. he dressed in silence, every gesture laden with a sense of finality. as he stood by the door, fully dressed, soobin turned to look at you. his eyes held a mixture of regret and longing, a silent plea for understanding that hung in the space between you. you met his gaze, your heart aching with a complex blend of emotions – love, betrayal, and a yearning for something that now felt impossibly distant.

the door creaked open and closed softly, the sound echoing in the hollow space left behind.

putting on a robe, you sat by your window, watching him go into his house, praying, hoping that he would turn around, see you sitting by your window, come back to you. but he just walked into his house, the door closing with a finality that sent a shiver down your spine. your room felt emptier than ever before.

you laid in your bed and let the tears fall freely, each drop a painful release. the weight of reality settled on your chest. a heavy ache seeped into your bones.

the days that followed felt like a slow-motion train wreck. it was as if the color had drained from the world, leaving only shades of gray. every passing moment that you didn’t hear from soobin was a jagged piece of glass, cutting into your soul. each night seemed longer than the last, filled with the silent echo of his absence.

you didn’t even know what hurt more — the raw vulnerability of giving him everything, only to have him leave, or the deafening silence that followed. the unanswered questions swirled like a storm in your mind. why hadn’t he reached out? was he feeling the same heartache that clung to your every breath?

his parents even visited for dinner and you had to paint a smile on your face throughout to hide the storm that raged within. when his mom inquired about your absence, you concocted a tale, your voice steady even though your heart felt like it might shatter.

other than your parents, the only person you spoke to was yuna, who became your lifeline even though she was on vacation with her parents. she was a voice of reason and a source of much-needed laughter. “honestly, fuck him. and fuck her too,” she declared.

“she didn’t even do anything,” you murmured in arin’s defense.

“who the fuck sits in the front seat of someone else’s boyfriend’s car?” yuna fired back, making you chuckle.

"i wish you were here. it's so miserable. i can't even leave my house because i'm scared i'm going to see him," you confessed, your voice a whisper edged with pain.

"if i was there, he'd probably have to file a restraining order against me."

returning to campus was like stepping onto a battlefield, but yuna was determined to wage war against the memories that threatened to engulf you and make you forget about a certain dark haired boy whose name you were no longer allowed to say. “you know what they say: in order to get over someone, you need to get under someone else.” she proclaimed from your closet, picking out something for you to wear tonight.

“i don’t know if i’m ready to get under someone else,” you admitted, fixing your mascara in your bathroom mirror, dressed in your robe.

“doesn’t matter if you actually do. you just need to get your mind off of him.” she hands you a black dress. “wear this. it always looks good on you.”

and so, you allowed yourself to be swept up in a night of bar hopping. the pulsing music and laughter washed over you like a healing balm. for a few precious hours, you were just another college student, drowning your sorrows in neon lights and thumping bass.

between the nights out, you threw yourself completely into your studies, the pursuit of a summer internship becoming your north star. you came to school to do something, and you weren’t going to let your heartache consume you.

spring was always a happy time for you. the air was warm, carrying with it the promise of renewal. it had been months since you had thought about soobin, and even longer since you had seen him. for the first time since that unfortunate night, you felt like you were completely over him. or at least getting there.

as you strolled back to your dorm from class, the world hummed with a quiet energy. the sun hung low in the sky and the air was soft and warm against your skin. but then you saw a familiar silhouette leaning against your dorm building. time seemed to stretch in that moment, the world around you fading into a blur. your heart quickened its pace, a staccato beat echoing in your chest.

"y/n," he breathed, his voice a soft plea that hung in the air. his presence was a sudden gust of wind, stirring the carefully constructed walls around your heart.

your guard was up, a fortress of steel around your heart. you wouldn't let him waltz back into your life just to tear you apart again. "what are you doing here?" you demanded, your voice steady despite the turmoil within.

"i wanted to talk to you."

"how did you find my address?"

"your mom gave it to my mom, who gave it to me."

you let him into your building, signing him in with the security guards in the front. the familiar surroundings now felt foreign with him there. in the confines of your dorm room, he looked around, his gaze grazing over the familiar details that now seemed foreign.

“you said you wanted to talk. so talk.” you said to him sitting down. you were so grateful that your roommate had gone to class. you really didn’t need her to be in the room with you now.

he glanced around, his face marked with uncertainty. “i don’t know where to start.”

you met his gaze without a word.

“i guess… i could start with sorry.” he offered with a nervous chuckle.

“i think that’s too little, too late, soobin.” you asserted, matter of factly.

“i miss you.”

“you can’t keep saying that.” your shoulders sunk. looking at him now, you could feel all the emotions bubbling back up — the anger, the hurt, the tears, they were all coming back to you.

“i know, but it’s true.” he rushed to add. “that’s why i came here. i wanted to see you. i know we didn’t leave things the right way.”

“soobin, you were the first person i ever had sex with and you left me right after.” you tried to keep your cool and maintain your composure, but it was getting increasingly harder.

“i-i know. i’m sorry,” he stammered, remorse filling his eyes.

“is that all you came here to say? sorry?” he looked at you apologetically, offering no further words. “you hurt me so much and you couldn’t even say anything to me afterwards. i waited every day for months to see if you would ever call me and you didn’t. it was like i meant nothing to you. it was just so easy for you to forget that i existed.” as the words flowed, you felt a strange mixture of relief and sadness wash over you. the wounds were still fresh, but there was a catharsis in finally addressing the unspoken.

“i’m s—” he stopped himself. “i know i hurt you. i don’t know what i can do to make it right.”

“i don’t think there’s anything you can do to make it right.” you said, wiping the slow tears from your face. you sat up, meeting his gaze squarely. “i spent our entire relationship fighting for you to pay attention to me. i can’t do that anymore. i don’t want to beg someone to care about me.”

“i care about you. you know that.”

“do i?”

“i didn’t think this conversation would go like this if i’m being completely honest.”

“i’m not angry at you anymore. at least i’m trying not to be.” you tell him. “and i don’t hate you, if you thought i did. i don’t think i could ever hate you.”

“i don’t think i can’t not have you in my life.”

“i’m still your neighbor.” you joked.

“it’s not the same.” he admitted quietly, sitting beside you. “y/n, i love you.”

“soobin–” you turned to face him, searching his eyes for any sign that he understood the depth of your pain.

“i know, it’s too late. i just wanted you to know.” his gaze fixed on his hands, fingers tracing invisible patterns on his jeans. “i can’t erase the past. but i want to try to make amends, to find a way back to some semblance of… of friendship, maybe.”

friendship. the word hung in the air, a fragile bridge between your shared history and the uncertain future.

“i don’t know if we can be friends. not right now, at least. maybe not ever.”

he looked up, pain etched in the frown lines across his face. “i understand,” he murmured, voice heavy with regret.

silence enveloped, broken only by the distant sounds of life outside. after what felt like an eternity, you finally spoke, your voice softer now. “i think i need time. to you know, figure out my shit.”

he nodded. “i want you to know that i’m sorry. truly.”

“i know.”

with a heavy heart, you walked him to the door. as he left, you closed the door behind him, leaning against it for support. alone in the quiet of your dorm, you let the tears come. finally you had a release of all the emotions long held in check. you had tried your hardest to bury them, but now it was time for them to finally come out. the pain was still there, but with each tear that fell, you felt a small measure of healing begin.

in the days that followed, you took each moment as it came, allowing yourself to grieve for what was lost and to slowly rediscover the strength within you. spring continued to dance outside, and you vowed to find your own renewal.

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edenesth · 8 months

Text

Speak Now

Pairing: childhood friend!Yeosang x fem!reader

AU: hanahaki au

Word Count: 11.6k

Summary: In love with Yeosang since young, you kept your feelings to yourself in fear of ruining your friendship. Like a fool, you suffered alone as the Hanahaki disease slowly consumed you while you watched him propose to his long-time girlfriend. What happens when Yeosang struggles to take his eyes off you on his wedding day and realises that this union might be a mistake?

ATEEZ Masterlist

〚 Hanahaki Disease 〛

— An illness born from unrequited love, where the patient’s throat will fill with flowers. They will then throw and cough up the petals, sometimes even a whole flower.

— One of the only ways for the disease to ‘disappear’ is if the object of the patient's affection returns the feelings. It cannot be resolved with friendship, it has to be genuine feelings of romantic love.

— The infection can also be removed through surgery, though the feelings will disappear along with the petals.

If the patient refuses surgery or the feelings are not returned in time, their lungs will fill up with flowers and eventually suffocate.

Time sure as hell flies even when you're suffering.

Because the next thing you know, it's been years since you were diagnosed with the Hanahaki disease.

Gazing down at the bloody petals staining your palm, you swallowed painfully, determined to wash away the evidence of your illness in the bathroom and not let anyone find out.

Especially not when Yeosang and his girlfriend, Arin, were waiting patiently outside at the cafe for you. With your eyes squeezed shut, you pressed your hands against your temples, once again reminded of the cruel reality that the love of your life did not feel the same way for you.

It all began about a decade ago.

Initially, you and Yeosang were just new neighbours, brought together when your family relocated to Seoul due to your father's job. Later, you discovered that you attended the same school, and Yeosang, ever the kind soul, became your first friend.

You have been inseparable since childhood, sharing secrets, dreams, and countless adventures together.

But as the years passed, your affection for him slowly blossomed into something deeper, something you kept hidden, fearing it would taint your beautiful friendship.

Upon the realisation of your feelings for him, you had been hopeful at first. All the while, you'd think to yourself that he would one day return your feelings and you would eventually end up together. But you couldn't deny the bitter truth any longer when you began coughing up those crimson-tinged petals.

The doctor's grim confirmation, coupled with Yeosang's excited announcement about mustering the courage to ask Arin out, served as clear answers to all the questions that had plagued your mind.

Witnessing his overwhelming happiness when Arin agreed to be his girlfriend, you couldn't bear to shatter that joy for him. Above all else, you'd rather face death than jeopardise your cherished friendship by revealing your feelings or the devastating truth of your disease.

For as long as you can remember, the pain of coughing up these petals has become your painful secret, something you've grown used to enduring in silence by now.

Come on, you can do this.

You made a determined effort to steady your trembling hands as you reapplied your makeup, doing your absolute best to conceal any trace of paleness or sickness on your face.

The last thing you wanted was for Yeosang, or perhaps even Arin, to detect any hint of your sickness. Over all these years, you had successfully fooled everyone, including your own parents, and you were set in your commitment to maintain that facade.

You were fully prepared to carry your secret to the grave, if it ever came to that.

"Is it just me, or do you seem to be taking longer in the bathroom these days?" Yeosang wondered aloud, deep in thought. You froze, carefully controlling your expression to avoid raising further suspicion.

Arin nodded in agreement before the two of them playfully exchanged grins in your direction, "You know, you can always tell us if you've been busy chatting with Jongho. There's no need to hide in the bathroom for that—we'd understand."

Your shoulders slumped in relief and you rolled your eyes when you realised they were simply teasing you about your colleague once again, "Honestly, how many times do I have to tell you idiots that there's absolutely nothing going on between me and the guy?"

Yeosang couldn't help but snort rather ungracefully as he took a sip of his drink, "Sure, you might think that, but Jongho's not exactly subtle. I'm telling you, the dude's totally whipped for you."

Good god, I sure as hell hope not.

If that truly were the case, you knew you'd have to put a swift end to it before it spiralled out of control. The last thing you wanted was for Jongho to suffer the same fate as you, he was too kind a soul to deserve such torture.

However, deep down, you were convinced that Jongho was simply an exceptionally friendly person. You didn't think he acted any differently towards you compared to other people at work. At this point, it just seemed more like Yeosang and Arin's attempt to get you out of your neverending cycle of singlehood.

The couple had been pestering you for years to find a boyfriend. This wasn't the first time they'd jumped to such hasty conclusions. It seemed that every time they noticed a guy being a tad more attentive or friendly, they instantly started shipping you with him.

In fact, if your memory served you correctly, Jongho was already taken and entirely off the market.

"Don't be ridiculous, Yeo. He's got a girlfriend."

Yeosang nearly choked on his drink upon hearing this revelation, "Wait- what?! Okay, that's a major red flag then. Why on earth is he being so attentive to you, huh?"

You rolled your eyes, slapping your palm against your forehead, "I've told you, he's just naturally nice to everyone. You two are the ones always reading too much into things."

Arin pouted at you, "Oh man, I was really hoping we had some sort of magical persuasion power to turn nothing into something!" You glared at the both of them, watching as they sheepishly rubbed their necks.

Their attempts at humour fell flat.

"I knew it. I always thought it was strange how you two were so insistent about there being something between me and Jongho."

The lighthearted banter continued for a while longer, with your friends enthusiastically brainstorming potential matches and suggesting other guys they could introduce you to.

Casting a swift glance at her phone, Arin perked up with excitement, "Oh, I've got to run, my friends just arrived! It's girls' night, so don't wait up for me, Yeo. I'll catch you two later!" You smiled warmly at your friend's girlfriend, giving a slight wave before discreetly looking away as the couple shared a quick kiss, "Sure thing, babe. Call me if you need anything, yeah?"

"Bye, Arin. Have fun, and I'll see you soon!" You concealed the ache in your heart behind a radiant smile.

The truth was, Yeosang's girlfriend was an absolute sweetheart, and you could completely understand why he had fallen for her.

As much as it pained you to admit, they were a perfect couple. This was precisely what made the situation so bittersweet—witnessing their happiness together was painful, yet you couldn't muster any ill feelings towards Arin.

It was an agonisingly cruel paradox.

She had, in some ways, become like a sister to you, and you genuinely wanted to be happy for the two of them. But the clash between your feelings for Yeosang and the incessant pain in your chest, caused by the growing flowers, made it exceptionally difficult.

You could only watch with a heavy heart as Yeosang escorted his girlfriend out of the cafe and witnessed their affectionate farewell, complete with another parting kiss.

Upon returning to his seat across from you, he did a rather poor job of concealing his bubbling excitement. An internal sigh escaped you as you yearned for him to exhibit such enthusiasm when thinking about you.

"So, what is it?" You asked, watching as Yeosang arched an eyebrow, a curious expression on his face, "What do you mean?"

You crossed your arms, your tone laced with a hint of impatience, "You obviously brought me out today to discuss something, and given that you didn't bring it up in front of Arin, I'm assuming it's related to her. Now that she's gone, spill the beans."

He nodded slowly, somewhat impressed.

"You really are my oldest friend; you know me so well," He said theatrically, wiping away a fake tear. You smacked his arm, annoyed, "Can you please just get to the point already?"

It wasn't your intention to become so exasperated with him, but the ache in your chest was intensifying, and you worried that it wouldn't be long before you'd have to excuse yourself to cough up more petals. You were just determined not to raise suspicion.

You also couldn't quite pinpoint the reason, but a sense of dread was slowly creeping over you as you waited for him to reveal whatever it was he wanted to say.

He chuckled, raising his hands in surrender, "Alright, alright." He conceded. With a mischievous smile, he bit down on his lip.

"I'm planning to propose to Arin, and I need your help."

Fighting back the urge to clutch your chest in agony, you forced a smile, determined not to let the pain show on your face. Your hands rested on your thigh, and your fingers dug into your jeans with such intensity that you worried about tearing the fabric.

"Oh my god, I... God, I'm so happy for you, Yeo!"

Tears welled up in your eyes, and your friend cooed at your emotional reaction, believing it was a sign of your genuine happiness. Little did he know, your tears were for entirely different reasons than he might think.

"Will you marry me?"

Those were words that had only existed in the realm of your dreams, words you knew you'd never hear spoken to you by this man.

It was with a heavy heart that you stood on the sidelines, an invisible spectator, as Yeosang took the plunge and proposed to Arin. A shuddering exhale escaped your lips, your breath trembling as you watched her joyful and resolute nod.

"Yes, yes! A thousand times, yes!"

Your chest ached, and you struggled to suppress the tears that threatened to spill from your eyes. The pain was excruciating, akin to a thousand needles piercing your heart, yet you forced yourself to smile, to be genuinely happy for the two people who meant the world to you.

As Yeosang slipped the ring onto Arin's finger, sealing their love with a promise of forever, you wrestled with your own emotions.

Your heartbreak was palpable, like a storm raging within you, but you couldn't let it mar the joyous occasion. You had to be the friend they deserved, the one who would celebrate their love with an open heart.

So, you smiled through the tears, tears that were not just a testament to your pain but also a tribute to their happiness. It was a complex dance of emotions—your own heartbreak twirling with the happiness you felt for them, a delicate balance that you had learned to navigate over the years.

And at that moment, as you watched them embrace, you couldn't help but wonder if love, even unrequited, had a purpose beyond our comprehension—a purpose that allowed you to witness the beauty of their union, even if it came at the cost of your own silent suffering.

Why am I so bothered? It's not like I ever stood a chance.

You stepped away from the scene, needing a moment to collect yourself. As you wiped away the tears that had welled up, you noticed Wooyoung approaching. He had been Yeosang's closest friend throughout your school years, and over time, he had become a good friend of yours as well.

"Hey, you good? Not gonna lie, you looked a little sick back there." He said, concern etched in his expression.

Panicking, you forced a wide smile, "Oh, I'm fine! I was just really touched. I mean, can you believe they're finally getting married? They've been together for so long. It's about damn time, am I right?"

But Wooyoung didn't seem convinced by the act.

He could see right through your facade, noticing your paleness and the handkerchief you clutched so tightly, not for tears, but for a certain type of bloodied flower petals.

"You know, I had my suspicions back in high school, but I didn't want to say anything for Arin's sake. But I'm worried about you," He said hesitantly, "You... you're in love with him, aren't you?"

You struggled to maintain your composure, choosing to act as if you didn't understand what he was getting at. The last thing you wanted was to have this conversation at such a momentous event. But you also understood that Wooyoung was genuinely concerned for your well-being.

"That's absurd, Woo! Are you even listening to yourself?" You let out a forced laugh, playfully slapping his shoulder repeatedly, "Me? In love with Kang Yeosang? How could you even think to suggest such a thing? Ew!" You pretended to gag.

"Seriously though, I'm fine. It's probably just that time of the month for me, okay? Ugh, I can't believe you made me admit that. If I looked sick, it's probably because I'm losing blood down there, ya know?"

Wooyoung cleared his throat, clearly flustered by the unexpected turn in your conversation, "Sheesh, too much information, woman! Fine, I'll choose to believe you... for now. You know you can always talk to me, right? You're one of my closest friends, aside from Yeo. If you ever need anything, I'm here."

You nodded and forced a smile, struggling to blink back your tears and swallow the lump in your throat.

No one had been aware of your condition all this while, and Wooyoung's concern meant more to you than he could ever know. However, you couldn't bring yourself to admit it to him. That would make everything too real, and you weren't ready to face that truth just yet.

Truth be told, Wooyoung didn't buy your reasoning.

He had accepted it more out of reluctance to press further and make you feel uncomfortable. He understood that there was no use in forcing the truth out of you; he could only wait for the moment when you'd choose to confide in him about your predicament.

For the time being, all he wanted was for you to know that he would always be there for you.

Having personally witnessed the devastating effects of the Hanahaki disease on someone he cared about in the past, Wooyoung was determined to do whatever it took to prevent another loved one from falling victim to this illness.

And so, for the rest of the day, you made an extra effort to conceal any urges to cough or throw up, especially now that Wooyoung was keeping a watchful eye on you, searching for any signs or hoping to catch you slipping up.

You jumped slightly in surprise when Yeosang wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you into a warm hug, "Thank you so much for your help, bestie! This wouldn't have been possible without you."

The word 'bestie' pierced your heart like a dagger because that was all you would ever be to Kang Yeosang.

Sensing Wooyoung's scrutiny from behind as he conversed with some of your other friends, you swallowed hard and nodded, patting Yeosang on the back.

"Of course, Yeo. Anything for you and Arin. I genuinely wish you both all the happiness in the world!"

He laughed with uncontainable excitement, squeezing you in his embrace.

Your heart fluttered at the gesture, but you forced yourself to keep it in check. You had to come to terms with the fact that Yeosang and Arin were now officially endgame, their love story reaching its long-awaited conclusion. You reminded yourself that you had never really stood a chance in the first place.

Giving him one final reassuring pat on the back, you sniffled lightly and pulled away, replacing any trace of emotion with a wide smile as you spotted Arin approaching.

She enveloped you in a tight embrace, squeezing with genuine warmth, "You're the absolute best! I heard you played a huge part in all of this. You'll be right there with us every step of the way until the big day, won't you?"

You nodded without hesitation, "Of course! Every detail will be flawless, I promise you. Nothing will slip through the cracks on my watch!"

A frown and a warning glare were swiftly aimed in Wooyoung's direction when you caught him pretending to gag behind Arin's back at your feigned enthusiasm.

Turning your attention back to Arin, you allowed her to take your hands in hers. Her eyes held a sincerity that touched your heart.

"I've been wanting to ask you this ever since Yeo mentioned our wedding plans. Will you be my maid of honour? Woo's already agreed to be his best man, and it would mean the world to me if you said yes. You're like a sister to me, you know that, right?"

What kind of heartless monster would I have to be to even consider turning down such a heartfelt request?

You squeezed her hands with genuine sincerity, your voice filled with warmth, "Are you kidding? I'd be more than honoured to be your maid of honour! Thank you for asking me; it means the world," Arin cooed, pulling you into another tight embrace, "Aww, I love you, you're the best!"

You smiled, brushing aside the growing pain in your chest, "I love you too, Arin. I want you to know that you're like a sister to me, too."

That night, when you returned home, it marked one of the most agonising nights you would have to endure since your diagnosis.

Your hands trembled uncontrollably as you stared at the sight of an entire flower in your sink. Until then, it had always been just petals, but seeing a whole flower emerging was an ominous sign.

You knew that time was running out, and the thought sent a shiver down your spine.

As promised, you dedicated most of your time to assisting the couple with every aspect of their wedding preparations.

A tiny voice within you questioned why you had willingly subjected yourself to this emotional turmoil, but the sincerity of Arin choosing you, of all people, as her maid of honour touched your heart deeply.

The soft glow of the bridal boutique enveloped the room, casting a warm and inviting ambience. Mirrors lined the walls, reflecting the ethereal beauty of the gowns that hung delicately from their racks. The air was infused with a faint scent of fresh fabric and the promise of new beginnings.

As you stood amidst this sanctuary of matrimonial dreams, your heart ached with the weight of hidden thorns, a cruel reminder of your unrequited love. The Hanahaki disease had woven its cruel tendrils deep within, its blossoms a vivid contrast to the joyous occasion at hand.

Arin, radiant as ever, was surrounded by a small entourage of close friends and family.

Her eyes sparkled with anticipation, her smile infectious as she perused the array of wedding gowns. Her laughter filled the air, a musical backdrop to the scene, and her infectious excitement seemed to dance on the very air you breathed.

You watched her, your heart pounding with each beat, every throb echoing the ache of concealed emotions. The delicate petals seemed to flutter within you, a silent reminder of the love that could never be.

Arin's fingers delicately traced the lace of one gown, her eyes wide with wonder, "This is beautiful." She breathed, her voice a tender whisper of admiration.

The boutique assistant, an expert in the language of bridal dreams, nodded in agreement, "It complements your grace perfectly, Ms. Choi. Would you like to try it on?"

Her gaze met yours in silent invitation.

You couldn't refuse, not when this was her moment of unparalleled happiness, "Yes, go ahead, Arin." You encouraged, your voice steady despite the storm raging within.

As she disappeared behind the curtain, you took a moment to gather your composure. The mirrors seemed to multiply your reflection, each one a reminder of the fractured reality you faced.

When the curtain swayed open once more, Arin emerged in a vision of pure elegance. The gown cascaded around her like a waterfall of silk and lace, framing her like a masterpiece. Her eyes met yours in the mirror's reflection, and the brilliance in her gaze was enough to momentarily eclipse your own pain.

A chorus of gasps and exclamations filled the room as the entourage marvelled at the sight. Tears glistened in Arin's eyes, the reflection of her joy painting a poignant picture.

She was breathtakingly beautiful.

Perfect for Yeosang.

Unlike you.

"This is it," She declared, her voice filled with unwavering certainty, "This is the one."

The boutique assistant smiled warmly, sharing in Arin's moment of triumph, "A perfect choice, Ms. Choi. This gown is destined to be a part of your beautiful love story."

As they celebrated and made arrangements for the dress, you found solace in the shadows, your smile never wavering.

In this moment, your love was a silent symphony, an echo of happiness and pain intertwined. You would stand by Arin's side, supporting her dreams, even if it meant bearing your own thorny secret in silence.

With no time to take a break or tend to your aching heart, you immediately found yourself in the men's boutique the following day.

The upscale boutique was a realm of sophistication, with racks of tuxedos adorned in various shades of black and grey, each exuding an aura of timeless elegance. Soft jazz music played in the background, creating an atmosphere of refinement.

Yeosang stood beside his best man, Wooyoung, both of them inspecting the selection of tuxedos before them.

The bright lights cast a soft glow on their faces, accentuating the excitement in their eyes. You watched them from a respectful distance, a smile etched on your face despite the turmoil raging within.

Yeosang had asked for your help in choosing his attire for the wedding, and you couldn't refuse, even though it meant masking your own pain.

The illness had not relented, its grip on your heart growing tighter with every passing day.

"So, what do you think?" Yeosang turned to you, his eyes shining with anticipation, "Which one do you think will make me look the most dashing for Arin?"

You swallowed hard, your heart aching as you looked at your childhood friend, "I think the black one would be perfect." You replied, your voice unwavering, though the weight of the petals in your chest was almost suffocating.

He nodded, his smile warm and appreciative, "You've always had great taste. Thanks for helping me out with this."

Wooyoung chimed in, patting your back playfully, "Yeah, she's got a knack for this stuff. You're lucky to have her, man."

You returned their gratitude with a genuine smile, your own turmoil concealed behind the façade of happiness, "It's my pleasure, you two. I want everything to be perfect for your special day."

As you continued to browse the tuxedos, Yeosang's conversation inevitably turned to Arin and her wedding gown, "Speaking of perfection," He began, his eyes shining with love, "Arin is absolutely ecstatic about her dress. She can't stop talking about how gorgeous it is."

Your heart clenched at the mention of Arin and her joy, "I'm sure she's going to look breathtaking." You replied, your voice carrying a hint of genuine happiness.

Yeosang's gratitude was evident as he turned to you, his eyes filled with warmth, "Thank you. You've been such an amazing help to her. I don't know what we would do without you."

The words were like a dagger to your heart, but you managed to smile through the pain, "I'm just happy to be a part of your special day, Yeo. You and Arin deserve all the happiness in the world."

As the day wore on, you continued to play your role, assisting Yeosang with the selection of his tuxedo and maintaining the façade of happiness.

Your love for him remained buried deep within, hidden beneath layers of petals. For now, you would do whatever it took to ensure that Yeosang and Arin's wedding day was a day filled with joy and love, even if it meant enduring your own silent suffering.

Unfortunately for you, you could feel the weight of your sickness pressing down on you, its tendrils of pain and discomfort growing increasingly unbearable.

You had excused yourself to the bathroom multiple times to cough up petals, each time feeling weaker and more drained.

On one of your trips back from the bathroom, you couldn't conceal the paleness that had washed over your face, your steps faltering slightly as you clutched a handkerchief tightly against your chest. It was clear that your condition was deteriorating rapidly, and you were growing weaker with each passing moment.

Wooyoung, sharp-eyed and observant, noticed your distress immediately. Concern etched his features as he approached you, his voice gentle but filled with worry.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, his hand reaching out to touch your arm gently. You forced a weak smile, though it was clear that you were far from okay, "I'm fine, Woo. Just a little tired, that's all."

His eyes bore into yours, not buying your facade for a moment.

"You don't have to hide it from me. I can see that you're not well. You've been in and out of the bathroom so many times today."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you struggled to maintain your composure. Wooyoung had always been perceptive, and you knew it was impossible to hide the truth from him any longer.

I can't do this by myself for much longer.

"You... you were right, Woo," You admitted, your voice shaking, "I am in love with Yeo, and I do have Hanahaki."

He looked at you with genuine concern, his eyes filled with empathy, "God, I knew it. You should have told me sooner. How... how long have you had it for?" You sighed, "Years, Woo. It's been years," He shook his head in disbelief, "I can't believe you suffered like this all alone for years."

You wiped away a tear that had escaped, your voice barely above a whisper, "I didn't want to burden you, Woo. I didn't want to take away from your happiness with Yeosang and Arin."

His expression softened even more, and he shook his head, "You're not a burden. You're our friend, and we care about you deeply. We want you to be happy too."

Wooyoung reached out and gently squeezed your hand, his words a soothing balm to your wounded heart, "Promise me that you'll come to me whenever you're feeling like this. I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

Tears streamed down your cheeks, but this time, they were tears of relief. You nodded, your voice filled with gratitude, "Thank you, Woo. I promise."

As he pulled you into a comforting embrace, you knew that you had a true friend in him, someone who would stand by your side through the darkest of times. With Wooyoung's support, perhaps you could find a way to navigate the painful journey ahead, one step at a time.

Yeosang watched from a distance, hidden in the shadows, as Wooyoung and you hugged.

He hadn't arrived early enough to understand the circumstances that had led to the embrace between you and his best friend. However, one thing was clear: the sight of it left an uncomfortable feeling gnawing at him.

Unbeknownst to you, his gaze had lingered on you two longer than he had intended, and a peculiar feeling had begun to churn within his chest—a strange mixture of discomfort and unease.

He couldn't quite put his finger on it, and that was what perplexed him the most. After all, he was on the brink of marrying Arin, the love of his life, the woman who had captured his heart completely. There was no reason for him to feel this way, and he was well aware of it.

As he stood there, he attempted to imagine a future where you and Wooyoung found happiness together.

It was an image he knew he should be able to conjure with ease, but an inexplicable ache twisted in his chest. It wasn't that he wanted to hold either of you back; he simply couldn't shake the discomfort that settled in his heart.

Yeosang took a deep breath, attempting to clear his mind of these bewildering thoughts. He knew he shouldn't be feeling this way, especially with his wedding to Arin just around the corner.

Guilt washed over him, and he silently chastised himself for entertaining such emotions.

He reminded himself that his love for Arin was unwavering, that she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. This inexplicable feeling was just a momentary blip, a passing cloud in the sky of his emotions.

But no matter how hard he tried to push those feelings aside, they lingered, stubborn and insistent. The image of you and Wooyoung together tugged at his heartstrings in a way he couldn't understand, leaving him with a profound sense of unease.

With a final, determined exhale, Yeosang stepped out of the shadows, ready to rejoin you.

He needed to focus on the joyous occasion at hand, on the celebration of love that was meant to bind him to Arin forever. As he approached, he pushed aside the nagging feeling and vowed to be the best friend and partner he could be, even if it meant grappling with the complexity of his own emotions.

In the midst of your unending battle with the Hanahaki disease, Wooyoung became your unwavering support system, a beacon of hope in the sea of pain and uncertainty.

Your journey together was marked by moments of both agony and resilience, as you faced the relentless onslaught of petals and thorns.

Wooyoung had always been there, whether it was a late-night call to soothe your coughing fits or accompanying you to doctor's appointments.

His comforting presence was a constant reminder that you weren't alone in this struggle.

You juggled the demands of your job with the relentless symptoms of the disease, often finding solace in your work even as the petals clung to your throat.

Wooyoung would send you encouraging messages, reminding you to take breaks and prioritise your health.

Amidst the chaos of Yeosang's wedding preparations, Wooyoung took on the role of your guardian angel. He'd stay by your side during fittings and meetings, ensuring you didn't push yourself too hard.

It wasn't until one fateful day, as the illness reached its most excruciating stage, that you couldn't hold back the bloodied flowers any longer.

You rushed to the bathroom, your body wracked with painful coughs. Wooyoung, alarmed, followed you and witnessed the entire flower falling from your lips in a gruesome display.

As you gasped for breath, tears streaming down your face, Wooyoung gently touched your shoulder.

"This can't go on like this," He said with conviction, "You need to consider the surgery to remove those flowers for good."

His words hung heavy in the air, a stark reminder of the difficult choice you had been avoiding. You knew he was right, but the fear of losing your feelings for Yeosang made you hesitate.

Despite the pain, Wooyoung's unwavering support and guidance gave you the strength to face the decision that had been looming over you for far too long.

Perhaps it really was time to take the step that could free you from the relentless grip of the sickness, even if it meant sacrificing the love you had harboured in silence. After all, Yeosang would never return your feelings.

What's the point of even suffering like this?

Meanwhile, Yeosang couldn't help but notice the deepening bond between Wooyoung and you. It wasn't that he had been intentionally spying on you, but the presence of Wooyoung in your life had become increasingly apparent.

Yeosang did his best to distract himself with thoughts of Arin, the love of his life, and the excitement of their upcoming marriage.

He immersed himself in wedding preparations, from selecting the perfect venue to deciding on the menu and guest list. He yearned for every detail to be flawless, a testament to the love he and Arin shared.

But no matter how hard he tried to focus on Arin and their future together, his thoughts had an irritating tendency to drift back to you and Wooyoung. It was as if an invisible force tugged at his mind, pulling him away from the happiness he should have been feeling.

Frustration gnawed at him, and he berated himself for allowing such thoughts to intrude upon his joyous moments with Arin.

He felt torn between the life he had envisioned with Arin and the confusing emotions that seemed to be bubbling up around you and Wooyoung.

Yeosang knew he shouldn't be feeling this way.

He was about to marry the woman he loved, and he had no right to entertain thoughts that might jeopardise their happiness. Yet, no matter how hard he tried to push those thoughts aside, they lingered, a constant source of discomfort and confusion.

As the wedding day drew closer, Yeosang grappled with a storm of emotions, struggling to understand why he couldn't shake the feeling that something was amiss, something he couldn't quite put his finger on.

His heart was divided, torn between his love for Arin and the unsettling thoughts that kept returning to you and his best friend.

And indeed, time sure as hell flies when you're suffering.

Next thing you all knew, the morning of the wedding arrived, and the atmosphere was filled with anticipation and excitement. Yeosang and Wooyoung were in a shared room, getting ready together, a tradition that had been upheld since their childhood.

Yeosang couldn't shake the nagging thoughts that had plagued him in the days leading up to the wedding.

He had watched Wooyoung and you grow closer, and the curiosity had finally become too much for him to bear. As he adjusted his tie and pretended to be in high spirits, he decided to broach the subject, masking his true intentions behind playful banter.

"You know, Woo," He began, a playful glint in his eye, "I've been meaning to ask you something."

Wooyoung, who was busy straightening his own tie, looked up with a raised eyebrow, "Ask away, Yeo. I'm an open book."

Yeosang chuckled, trying to maintain an air of nonchalance, "So, what's the deal with you and my bestie lately? You guys seem pretty close. Anything you want to share with your best man?"

Wooyoung glanced at Yeosang, his expression carefully neutral, "We've just been hanging out more, you know, like friends do."

Yeosang continued to feign playfulness, though the urgency behind his question was growing stronger, "Come on, Woo. You can't hide anything from me. Spill the beans. Is there something I should know?"

Wooyoung sighed, realising that Yeosang wasn't going to drop the subject easily. He decided to be honest but kept the details vague, "She has been going through a tough time, Yeo. I've been there to support her as a friend, that's all."

Yeosang's heart sank at the mention of you going through a tough time. He had no idea about the disease or the depth of your suffering, and the guilt began to creep in, "Is she okay?" He asked, his tone shifting from playful to genuinely concerned.

Wooyoung nodded, "She's getting better, but it's been a challenging journey for her. She's a strong person, though."

Yeosang nodded, his mind racing with unanswered questions. He wanted to ask more, to understand the nature of your struggles, but he feared delving too deep into a conversation that might reveal his own complex emotions.

With a forced smile, Yeosang changed the subject, steering the conversation away from you and back to the wedding preparations.

But deep down, he knew that the questions would continue to linger, and the unsettling feelings that had plagued him wouldn't be easily dismissed.

As the hours passed, the wedding day unfolded like a beautifully scripted scene.

Arin, radiant and resplendent in her bridal gown, had been whisked away to the makeup room, where you had the privilege of helping her prepare for her momentous day.

As you carefully applied Arin's makeup, ensuring every brushstroke was just right, Wooyoung entered the room with a soft knock. His presence was a soothing balm amidst the whirlwind of emotions that had been swirling within you.

Wooyoung cast a gentle smile in your direction, silently checking on you. His eyes held a hint of concern, a reflection of the care he had shown you during the painful days of your illness.

Arin, who was perched in her makeup chair, noticed your exchange and couldn't resist teasing you, "You two seem awfully close lately," She said with a playful twinkle in her eye, "Is there something you're not telling me?"

Wooyoung and you exchanged knowing glances, your camaraderie evident. You chuckled and replied, "Just good friends, Arin. No need to start any rumours."

He nodded in agreement, "Exactly, Arin. Nothing more, nothing less."

Arin feigned disappointment, though her smile was infectious, "Well, I suppose I won't have any juicy gossip to share at the wedding then."

The three of you shared a lighthearted laugh, the tension in the room dissipating. Arin, completely at ease in her friends' presence, couldn't have been more delighted with the support she had from both of you.

Stepping out of Arin's makeup room, you couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions. Arin was glowing, her happiness contagious, and you were truly delighted for her.

But as you made your way down the hallway to prepare yourself for the wedding, you encountered Yeosang, dressed impeccably in his suit.

Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of him, his striking appearance making it hard to suppress the surge of emotions that threatened to overwhelm you. You reminded yourself, painfully, that he would never be your groom. You had to bury your feelings deep down and put on a brave face.

Yeosang, however, didn't let the moment pass without addressing the unspoken turmoil that had been brewing between you.

His voice was gentle as he began, "I heard from Wooyoung that you've been going through a tough time."

You froze, surprised by his directness.

You had never expected Yeosang to bring up such a personal topic, especially on his wedding day, "Yeosang, I didn't want to burden you," You replied softly, your gaze avoiding his, "You have so much on your plate with the wedding preparations, and I didn't want to add to your stress."

Yeosang's expression softened, and he reached out to gently tilt your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze.

"You've always been my closest friend," He said earnestly, "I wish you had confided in me. I hate to think that you're going through something difficult alone."

His words tugged at your heart, and you fought to keep your emotions in check, "I didn't want to trouble you, Yeo," You whispered, your voice quivering, "I didn't want to distract you from your happiness with Arin."

Yeosang's eyes held a depth of sincerity that caught you off guard.

Without a word, he leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, a simple but heart-fluttering gesture that spoke volumes.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you realised the depth of his care and concern. The weight of unspoken emotions lingered in the air, and for a brief moment, you allowed yourself to savour the bittersweetness of the moment.

Yeosang wanted to be there for me, even on his wedding day.

As you pulled away from each other, he whispered, "You're never a burden. I want to be there for you, no matter what." His words hung in the air, a promise that warmed your heart and offered a glimmer of solace in the midst of your pain.

With a grateful smile, you nodded, unable to find the words to express the depth of your feelings.

The truth was, even though Yeosang would never be yours, his friendship and support meant the world to you, and in that moment, you felt less alone in your struggle against the sickness.

As the moment of truth approached, you, as the maid of honour, gracefully walked down the aisle, the soft music filling the air.

Your heart was filled with bittersweet emotions, knowing that you were witnessing the culmination of Yeosang and Arin's love story. The sight of the gathered guests, the exquisite decorations, and the serenity of the venue created an almost ethereal ambience.

Yeosang, waiting at the altar, was taken aback by how beautiful you looked in your dress.

He couldn't help but marvel at your beauty, a realisation that struck him like a bolt of lightning. He wondered how he had never truly noticed it before, how your presence had always been an unassuming constant in his life.

Even when Arin began her walk down the aisle towards him, gorgeous in her bridal gown, Yeosang struggled to tear his eyes away from you. The air grew tense, and his unease mounted as he noticed Wooyoung remaining attentively by your side, a silent pillar of support.

When the officiant reached the part where he asked if there were any objections, a hush fell over the guests, and the words hung heavily in the air.

"Speak now, or forever hold your peace."

You felt a lump form your throat, your heart racing as you struggled to hold back the words that threatened to escape.

Your gaze darted away from Yeosang, unable to meet his eyes, and you clenched Wooyoung's hand tightly, drawing strength from his reassuring touch.

The seconds felt like hours, and the weight of unspoken truths hung heavy in the room. But in that moment, you made a choice. You chose to hold your peace, to let Yeosang and Arin's love flourish without your own pain becoming a stumbling block in their journey.

The ceremony continued, and as you took a deep breath, you knew that you had made the right decision.

It was a moment of silent sacrifice, a testament to the depth of your love for Yeosang and your desire to see him happy, even if it meant holding back your own feelings.

As the officiant's voice filled the air, Yeosang was asked the pivotal question: "Do you, Kang Yeosang, take Choi Arin to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

But the words 'I do' stuck in his throat, and his eyes remained inexplicably glued to you, standing there as the maid of honour. The atmosphere grew increasingly charged, and the guests began to murmur with confusion.

Arin's expression shifted from anticipation to confusion, then to shock and finally to hurt as she observed Yeosang's unexpected hesitation.

The once-happy occasion was marred by the tension that had settled over the ceremony.

Yeosang's internal struggle and his prolonged silence sent ripples of concern through the gathering. The guests exchanged worried glances, and the atmosphere grew increasingly uncomfortable.

At that moment, all eyes were on Yeosang, who had unwittingly become the centre of attention.

The wedding, which was meant to be a celebration of love, had taken an unexpected turn, and the unfolding drama left everyone horrified, especially Arin, who stood there, her heart breaking in front of all her loved ones.

You were completely taken aback when you realised that his eyes had been on you all this while, his hesitation to say 'I do' leaving you bewildered and conflicted.

Confusion and surprise etched across your face, you couldn't comprehend what was happening.

The sudden rush of emotions left you disoriented, and your chest tightened painfully. It was at that very moment that the disease chose to strike with an unprecedented intensity.

As you coughed violently, a hand to your mouth, the pain was excruciating. Your eyes widened in fear, and you couldn't help but look at the bloodied flower petals that had spilt into your palm.

You were acutely aware that everyone, especially Yeosang, had witnessed the horrifying spectacle, and the secret of your condition was no longer hidden.

Amidst the chaos, Wooyoung, worry etched across his face, acted swiftly. He immediately ushered you out of the venue and guided you to the nearest bathroom, concern evident in every step he took.

You clung to him, your heart and mind racing with fear and embarrassment.

Unbeknownst to you, Yeosang had been overwhelmed with worry as well. He had momentarily forgotten about his own wedding, his concern for you taking precedence.

He followed you out of the venue, his heart heavy with anxiety and confusion.

Meanwhile, Arin stood there at the altar, her heart shattered by the turn of events. She felt a profound sense of embarrassment and devastation, her once-happy wedding day transformed into a bewildering and painful spectacle.

She had no choice but to watch as the love of her life rushed after you, leaving her alone and heartbroken at the altar.

Yeosang's heart pounded in his chest as he rushed to the bathroom, fear and dread coursing through him. He was met with a harrowing sight when he arrived— you, heaving painfully in Wooyoung's arms, the sink scattered with bloodied flowers.

The sight sent a wave of horror and helplessness through him.

He gasped and called out your name, his voice filled with anguish and concern. He knelt beside you, desperate to offer any form of comfort.

You turned your head weakly, your eyes locking onto his with a mixture of surprise and worry, "Yeosang, what are you doing here?" You rasped, your voice strained and weak, "You can't be here. Arin is waiting for you."

Yeosang's expression was a mix of determination and distress. He shook his head, his eyes never leaving yours, "Don't be foolish," He implored, his voice unwavering, "You're more important right now. Please, tell me the truth about your condition."

You tried to protest, to divert his attention back to Arin, but the concern in Yeosang's eyes held you captive. It was clear that he wasn't going to back down, that he needed to know the full extent of what you were going through.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you met his gaze, a mixture of relief and vulnerability washing over you.

You knew that keeping this secret from him had only led to further pain for both of you. With a trembling breath, you began to share the painful truth about the Hanahaki disease that had been plaguing you for so long.

As you spoke, Yeosang listened intently, his heart heavy with the weight of your suffering. He couldn't bear the thought of you enduring this pain alone.

At that moment, the world outside the bathroom seemed to fade away, leaving just the three of you—Yeosang, Wooyoung, and you—bound together by a revelation that would forever alter the course of your lives.

As the painful truth about the Hanahaki disease spilt from your lips, Yeosang's distress deepened.

He listened intently, his eyes filled with a mixture of empathy and anguish. When you had finished explaining the devastating condition, a heavy silence hung in the air.

Yeosang finally gathered the courage to ask the question that had been haunting him, his voice trembling with uncertainty, "Is it me? Am I the reason you're suffering like this?"

You hesitated, your heart aching at the thought of admitting the truth, the truth that had remained hidden for so long. Before you could respond, Wooyoung, who had been standing by your side, stepped in with compassion in his eyes.

"Yes, Yeo. It's you." Wooyoung said softly.

"Now you know why she couldn't confide in you about this. She's been carrying this burden for a long time."

As Wooyoung gently confirmed the truth about your unrequited love for Yeosang, the weight of the revelation settled heavily in the small bathroom. You remained in Wooyoung's arms, tears glistening in your eyes, feeling exposed and vulnerable.

Wooyoung continued, his voice gentle but firm, "But she's going to get the surgery soon to remove the flowers. It's the best way to ensure her health and happiness. So please, don't forget about Arin. She loves you deeply, she deserves your love and commitment too."

Wooyoung emphasised the importance of not hurting Arin further, reminding Yeosang that you had made the difficult decision to undergo surgery to remove the flowers soon.

He urged Yeosang to respect Arin's love and commitment, as she deserved nothing less.

Yeosang listened intently, his face etched with a complex mix of emotions. It was a lot to process, and the realisation that you had been harbouring these feelings for him for years was undoubtedly overwhelming.

He understood Wooyoung's plea not to cause further pain to Arin, a woman who loved him deeply.

However, something unexpected happened in that moment.

As the idea of you undergoing surgery to remove the flowers, and consequently, your feelings for Yeosang, settled in his mind, he felt a surge of discomfort. A strange sense of unease washed over him.

The thought of you no longer loving him, of your feelings for him vanishing forever, was strangely unsettling. It was a sensation he couldn't quite explain. Yeosang found himself torn, grappling with his own unexpected emotions. He didn't want you to stop loving him, even though he couldn't be with you.

As he stood there, caught in the tumultuous storm of emotions, the bathroom felt like a confessional, each revelation and response pushing you further into the uncharted territory of your relationships and desires.

The path ahead remained uncertain, and the choices you make would carry profound consequences for all involved.

The aftermath of the cancelled wedding was a sombre and bewildering affair.

Guests were left stunned by the dramatic turn of events, and sympathy flowed overwhelmingly toward Arin, who had been publicly humiliated on what was supposed to be her special day.

Yeosang, grappling with the consequences of his actions, sought to apologise to Arin later on, knowing that he had caused her immense pain. But when he approached her with remorse in his eyes, she remained cold and distant.

Arin's voice was filled with hurt and anger as she confronted him, her words cut deep, "You disrespected me, Yeosang, in front of everyone we love. If you had second thoughts, you should have spoken to me before we went through with this wedding."

Her disappointment and sense of betrayal were palpable, and as they exchanged harsh words, it became clear that their relationship had been irreparably damaged.

She made a painful decision, one that she believed was necessary for her own well-being.

She broke up with Yeosang, unable to be with a person who could bring such heartache and humiliation on what should have been a day of joy and celebration.

Yeosang watched helplessly as Arin walked away, the weight of his actions crashing down on him.

He had lost not only the love of his life but also a cherished friendship, all because of his own conflicting emotions and the tangled web of unrequited love that had ensnared everyone involved.

The aftermath of that fateful day would leave lasting scars on their hearts, a stark reminder of the consequences of decisions made and secrets kept. It was a painful lesson in love, sacrifice, and the unpredictable ways in which the heart can lead us down unexpected paths.

Meanwhile, your days in the hospital leading up to the scheduled surgery were filled with anxiety and uncertainty.

The Hanahaki disease had taken a toll on your health, and you could feel your condition worsening with each passing day. The support of friends like Wooyoung had been a lifeline, but as the surgery date neared, you couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the weight of your own guilt and sorrow.

One day, as you lay in your hospital bed, Wooyoung excused himself to give you some privacy when Arin arrived to visit you.

You were surprised by her presence and felt a pang of guilt knowing that her relationship with Yeosang had ended due to the events at the cancelled wedding.

Tears welled up in your eyes as Arin spoke, her voice filled with a mix of sadness and understanding.

She told you that she and Yeosang had parted ways, and you couldn't help but apologise profusely, your voice trembling as you accepted responsibility for the pain you had inadvertently caused.

"It's all my fault." You cried, feeling the weight of your unrequited love and the havoc it had wreaked on the lives of those around you.

Arin, ever empathetic and kind, reached out to comfort you, her touch gentle and reassuring. She surprised you by apologising as well, her voice filled with regret, "No, I'm sorry. I should have realised what you were going through all these years. I should have been there for you instead of being the cause of your pain."

Her words were a testament to her character, her ability to see beyond her own suffering and extend empathy to others.

It was a bittersweet moment of understanding and forgiveness between two people who had both borne the burden of unrequited love and the pain it brought.

As you shared your regrets and sorrows, you couldn't help but be grateful for the compassion and understanding Arin had shown you.

It was a glimmer of hope in the midst of your own struggles, a reminder that even in the darkest times, human connection and empathy could offer solace and healing.

It's been a week since the disaster of a wedding.

Yeosang found himself grappling with a growing sense of fear and unease, knowing you would be going through the surgery soon. It was a period of deep reflection for him, and he couldn't help but look back on the moments you had shared throughout your school years.

He recalled the countless memories you had created together, the adventures, secrets, and dreams you had once shared as friends.

It finally struck him now, how blind he had been to the hidden depths of his own feelings for you. He thought back to the times when you had been there for him, the unwavering support and companionship you had offered, and he couldn't believe he had missed the signs of your affection for him.

Yeosang's thoughts delved into the pain you must have endured, watching him and Arin together, celebrating their love while suppressing your own.

The image of you coughing up bloody petals haunted him, a cruel reminder of the silent suffering you had endured for so long.

In those quiet moments of introspection, Yeosang experienced a profound realisation—one that left him both startled and shaken. He began to question whether his feelings for you had been more complicated than he had ever allowed himself to admit.

The possibility that he might return your feelings, that his heart might have been yearning for you all along, crept into his mind like a whisper.

It was a revelation that left him feeling conflicted, as he grappled with the consequences of his newfound understanding.

As the surgery date approached, Yeosang found himself facing a crossroads in his own heart, torn between the past he had shared with Arin and the uncharted territory of his emotions for you.

The future remained uncertain, and he couldn't deny the weight of the choices he would have to make in the days to come.

Just a day before your surgery, Yeosang stood outside the door of your hospital ward, his heart heavy with the newfound realisation of his feelings for you. He felt a mixture of fear, uncertainty, and guilt, unable to face you after everything that had transpired.

It was in this vulnerable moment that Wooyoung caught up with him, recognising the turmoil in his friend's eyes.

He guided Yeosang to a nearby bench, understanding that they needed to have a candid conversation about the complex emotions that had surfaced.

Sitting down with a sigh, Yeosang finally admitted his feelings to Wooyoung, his voice laced with sincerity and vulnerability, "Woo, I think... I might have feelings for her. I've been blind to it for so long, but now it's clear to me."

Wooyoung listened attentively, his expression serious as he absorbed Yeosang's confession.

He couldn't deny the depth of their friendship, nor the gravity of the situation. Wooyoung knew that he needed to address this with utmost care to ensure that Yeosang's feelings were genuine and not a result of guilt or confusion.

With a stern gaze, Wooyoung cautioned his friend, "Yeo, you need to be absolutely certain about this. She has been through so much pain, and the last thing I want is for you to play with her fragile feelings."

Yeosang nodded, his eyes filled with determination.

"I am certain, Woo. My feelings for her are real, and I don't want to hurt her anymore."

Wooyoung relented, his concern slowly giving way to a sense of understanding and support. He placed a hand on Yeosang's shoulder, his voice softened with genuine care.

"If you're sure about this, then please, Yeosang, make her happy. After everything she's suffered, she deserves nothing less."

With that silent understanding between them, the weight of Yeosang's newfound feelings hung heavily in the air.

It was a pivotal moment, one that would shape the course of their relationships and the choices they would make as they navigated the intricate threads of love and friendship.

As Wooyoung returned to your side, a small smile played on his lips.

He observed you carefully, noting a subtle change in your demeanour. You looked better, your complexion less strained, and there was a lightness in your eyes that hadn't been there before.

He couldn't help but tease you gently, "Hey, have you noticed any difference in how you feel?"

You paused, taking a moment to assess yourself.

To your surprise, you realised that you did feel remarkably better. The persistent ache in your chest had begun to fade, replaced by a newfound sense of ease and comfort.

Your eyes widened in realisation, a mixture of disbelief and joy washing over you.

Could it be? Could it really be that Yeo had returned my feelings?

Unable to contain your excitement, you nodded fervently, "Yes, Woo! I feel... I feel like I can breathe again."

At that moment, hope blossomed in your heart, and you couldn't help but believe that something extraordinary had occurred. Wooyoung wasted no time in calling the doctor to confirm your condition.

After a thorough examination, the doctor confirmed what you had dared to hope for – the Hanahaki disease had disappeared. The petals, the pain, the suffocating weight in your chest – all of it was gone.

Tears welled up in your eyes as the weight of the revelation settled in. It could only mean one thing: Yeosang loved you too. The realisation was overwhelming, a flood of emotions surging through you.

In that hospital room, surrounded by the echoes of a journey marked by pain and heartache, a new chapter began to unfold. The tangled threads of unrequited love were finally unravelling, giving way to the possibility of a love that had been years in the making.

As you stepped out of the hospital, Wooyoung by your side, your heart raced with anticipation.

There, by the entrance, stood Yeosang next to his car. His presence alone sent a flurry of emotions coursing through you, and you couldn't help but wonder if he had come to finally confess his feelings.

Wooyoung, always the protective friend, gave Yeosang one last warning, his voice filled with a firm seriousness, "Yeo, you better not hurt her. If you do, you'll have to deal with me."

Yeosang nodded, his own determination shining in his eyes, "I won't, Woo. I promise I'll be good to her."

Once Wooyoung had left, it was just the two of you, standing there in a moment heavy with unspoken emotions.

Yeosang took a deep breath, his gaze locked with yours, and he began to speak with a sincerity that left you breathless. His voice quivered with a mixture of emotions, a blend of regret and newfound clarity that gave weight to every word he uttered.

He began by saying your name, his voice soft but resolute, "I need you to know something. I've been blind for far too long, and I can't hide from the truth any longer."

He paused, his eyes searching yours for understanding and forgiveness. His admission hung in the air, a palpable tension that begged for resolution.

"I realised," He continued, his voice unwavering, "That I might have been more oblivious than I ever thought possible. For years, I couldn't see what was right in front of me—the depth of your feelings, the pain you were silently enduring."

His words carried the weight of years of unspoken emotions, and he reached out to gently cup your face with his hand. His touch was tender, a silent apology for the blindness that had kept you apart.

"God, I'm so sorry," He whispered, his voice filled with remorse, "I'm sorry for not noticing your suffering, for not realising the depth of your love. But now, I see it, and I can't deny how I feel any longer."

His confession hung in the air, a pivotal moment in your shared history. It was a moment of vulnerability, of acknowledging the love that had silently existed between you for years.

Yeosang's gaze never wavered, his eyes filled with a mixture of longing and determination, "From this moment forward, I promise to love you the way you deserve to be loved. I won't let my blindness or mistakes hold us back anymore."

You felt tears pricking at the corners of your eyes as his words washed over you, a wave of warmth and hope. It was a promise that held the weight of your shared history and the possibility of a future filled with love and happiness.

Unable to contain your emotions any longer, you closed the gap between you and pressed your lips against his, sealing your newfound understanding with a sweet and tender kiss.

It was a kiss that spoke of forgiveness, redemption, and the beginning of a love story that had been a long time in the making.

Time flies when you're suffering, but it sure as hell goes by even faster when you're happy.

In the years that followed Yeosang's heartfelt confession, your lives took on a new and beautiful rhythm, one filled with love, laughter, and shared dreams.

With the pain of the past behind you, Yeosang surprised you with a proposal on a picturesque beach at sunset one evening.

As the waves lapped gently at your feet, he got down on one knee, a radiant smile on his face. The words "Will you marry me?" were finally spoken to the right person. Tears of joy streamed down your face as you said yes, sealing your love in the most perfect way.

Your wedding day was a celebration of love and friendship.

Wooyoung stood proudly by your side as the best man, his unwavering support a testament to the strength of your bond.

As you and Yeosang exchanged vows, the happiness in your hearts reflected the years of longing and the promise of a future filled with shared love and adventures.

The joy of your union was extended to your growing family.

The two of you became parents to a beautiful baby boy, your love was now reflected in the eyes of your son. Wooyoung, always the protective friend, stood by you both during the journey to parenthood, offering guidance and support.

Your family gatherings were filled with laughter and warmth. Wooyoung, of course, remained a cherished presence in your lives, sharing in your joy and becoming an honorary uncle to your child.

Every year, you celebrate your love and commitment to each other with anniversaries marked by heartfelt surprises and romantic getaways. And you bet Wooyoung was there to raise a toast every time, reminding you of friendship's enduring power.

As the years passed and your love grew stronger, mundane yet cherished moments filled your days.

One sunny afternoon, Yeosang and you decided to embark on a cute little supermarket date, a routine outing to restock your home and ensure your little one had everything he needed.

Walking hand in hand through the aisles, you exchanged smiles and shared whispers, the simple act of being together filling your hearts with contentment. Your cart was filled with baby supplies, fresh groceries, and a few indulgences that always seemed to find their way into your basket.

As you turned a corner in one of the aisles, your carefree laughter echoed through the store. That's when it happened—your encounter with the past you had left behind.

In the midst of your laughter, you suddenly pulled away from your husband, a dramatic gasp escaping your lips as if caught doing something scandalous.

Yeosang blinked in confusion, his brows furrowing as he tried to comprehend your sudden change in behaviour.

But then, your eyes widened as you realised the reason for your flustered reaction. There, just a few feet away from the two of you, stood Arin. It was a chance encounter neither of you had expected.

In a panic, you whispered to Yeosang, "Arin's here." as if the mere mention of her name would explain your sudden reaction.

He turned to look in her direction, his expression one of surprise mixed with curiosity. Arin noticed your presence and made her way over to you both, her laughter filling the air.

"Hey, you two," She greeted you warmly, her smile genuine, "What a surprise to see you both here," Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment as you stammered out a greeting, "Arin, hi. It's been a while."

Arin laughed, clearly amused by your earlier dramatic reaction, "You don't have to be so flustered, silly. I promise I won't bite," Yeosang, ever the composed one, extended a hand with a friendly smile, "It's good to see you, Arin. How have you been?"

Her eyes sparkled with happiness as she shared her news, "I've been great. I'm getting married soon."

Your heart swelled with genuine happiness for her as you offered your congratulations, "That's wonderful, Arin. We're really happy for you," Your husband nodded in agreement, his smile warm and sincere, "Congratulations. We wish you all the happiness in the world."

Arin's laughter echoed through the supermarket once again as she thanked you both for your well wishes.

It was a chance encounter that reminded you of the twists and turns life had taken you through, and the enduring bonds of friendship that remained, even in the face of new beginnings.

As you returned home, your hearts still light from the unexpected encounter with Arin, you were greeted by the familiar warmth of your shared space.

Opening the door, you found Wooyoung, who had been helping you babysit your energetic son, engaged in playful antics with the child, their laughter filling the room.

"Hey lovebirds, how was the supermarket adventure?" Wooyoung greeted you two with a smile, gently setting down your son.

Yeosang and you shared a knowing look, still revelling in the shared moment you had just experienced, "It was... eventful," You replied with a chuckle. Your husband chimed in, "We bumped into someone unexpected."

Wooyoung raised an intrigued eyebrow, "Oh? Do tell."

And so, you recounted the encounter with Arin, reliving the moments with laughter and shared glances. Wooyoung listened with genuine happiness, his eyes sparkling with the memories of your journey together.

"I can't believe how far we've come," Wooyoung mused, a nostalgic smile on his face, "From those crazy days with the Hanahaki, to this. I'm so glad it's all over."

His words echoed your sentiments exactly.

The pain and secrecy of those days felt like a distant memory, replaced by the warmth and love that now filled your lives.

As the evening settled in, you found yourselves in the living room, watching your son playfully interact with Wooyoung. The room was filled with the sounds of their laughter, a symphony of joy that warmed your hearts.

Unable to contain your happiness, Yeosang and you shared a glance, your smiles reflecting the contentment that filled your hearts.

Slowly, he reached for your hand, your fingers intertwining in a silent promise of the love you shared. As your son's giggles filled the air, Yeosang leaned in, meeting your lips in a tender kiss.

In that quiet moment, as your son played happily with your best friend, you knew that your journey had come full circle.

The pain of the past had given way to a future filled with love, laughter, and the unwavering support of the people who had walked this path with you.

And so, you sat together, cherishing the simple yet profound beauty of your shared life, grateful for every step that had led you to this moment of pure happiness.

It was my birthday (9/9), and I'm in a really good mood, so I decided to drop this earlier than initially planned. Hope y'all liked this one! Thank you for reading and as always, I'd love to hear all your thoughts so feel free to leave a reply, an ask or even a message if you want! <3

Tag list: @aurasblue @marievllr-abg

#ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez fanfiction #kang yeosang #ateez yeosang #hanahaki au #yeosang x reader #yeosang x you #ateez fic #yeosang oneshot #ateez oneshot

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