#anyways sorry this is so thrown around and weridly written at times ive been writing this for 4 hours and im SO tired

[stitchwraith-stingers]

i read in the flesh, so you dont have to

its no secret that in the flesh is one of the only things fnaf fans know about fazbear frights and its imfamous for its story (which i dont blame people to be disgusted about)

but have you ever wondered what it was plot-wise but you couldnt have been bothered to read the summary on the wiki, couldnt find the book on your own to read or you just didnt want read the main reason people hate it? no? well too bad

as your local faz fright fan i decided to reread it and make a (incoherent) post made in 4 hours talking about it just because, small screenshots included (trying to not focus enterly on that)

(DONT MAKE "hahaha springtrap matpat mpreg" JOKES ON THIS POST I WILL KILL YOU)

(cw for pregnancy mention and matt being an ass to women in general)

everything under cut

now the story just starts out with matt, our protag, telling us all about how hard game making is for a page or two, theres nothing interesting of note moving on

now right after this hes playing his game, springtraps revenge, a VR game which is just a maze with puzzles where you have to escape springtrap, and 1. i got jumpscared by him describing springtrap as hannabel lecter and 2. the fact that springtrap is described as 'a child of his rage' which i just find hilarious in a ironic way

now in the game hes in a maze and he has to escape using 4 doors, and because its randomized he doesnt know which door would have the 1-in-4 chance of killing him, and long story short he looses! twice

he gets angry enough so that he throws his vr headset after the fact and when his coworker named jamie wanted to walk in to tell him hi he snaps at her

and immediatly after this we get afew paragrapths talking about matt and his previous wife, hannah

it starts off as cute, them both meeting in chemistry class in highschool, matt then started to have gotten bored of being married as it seemed to be the same thing every day, hannah having wanted kids and matt not wanting to

now he has the audacity to say that her being pregnant that she would loose her petite figure and that she had called him shallow and threw a glass of water on his face (HONESTLY very deserved)

and he had met some woman named brianna as a friend which had led to them divorcing after their annervary because of hannah seeing brianna in a bikini on his computer (hi matt, i dont believe you about you and brianna just being friends. at all. btw.)

women wronged by matt count: 1

(also i need to say this right now before anyone kills me: matt is written to be an asshole on purpose, i know that very well and it shows up how he treats people, i know its also in his perspective which is why everyone is described as it is, i know other protags have been assholes one way or another as most of my faves have been, i just dont like matt myself but if ur like one of the 3 matt fans ur cool with me and im not saying you cant like him just saying this so people dont tell me how dumb i am)

"Women were crazy, Matt had decided. And not worth the effort." GOOD RIDDANCE YOU ARE BITCHLESS

and now because of how lonely and frustrated he feels he uses his VR game as a way to deal with it, but with an actual quote "It was the cruelest of ironies that the game—much like his relationships —seemed to have turned against him."

ok but these quotes sound kinda metal. moving on

having been mad that springtrap killed him for the 3rd time this book he decides to change up the coding, so that springtrap can just, walk around forever in the maze and spedup the gameframe by 1000 so is like extra sad i guess, matt talks about himself like a god controlling a rabbit which i found kinda funny, (the voice of woody) YOU! ARE! SOME! GUY!

now here we meet the next important side-character called jason, hes matts roommate he seems friendly and they seem to be on good terms so far

he and jason watch TV and he thinks about how it was like in collage, "no complicated female emotions" having takeouts and TV and video games all day, however as time went by those feelings of being carefree are wearing off,

but thats unrelated as theyre watching the TV show he thinks about how violent it is and fantisizing how he wants to kill springtrap, which is hilarious to me.. “i saw him kill me in the vr game!!!” girl… what were YOU doing progamming him 👀 /ref

now a tiny timeskip, matt is back at his job and he is testing the VR game again, he is excited to see springtrap run around in circles like a lost child or whatever and gets a surprise

gonna be honest i think thats kinda metal how it sounds (if we ignore how the story is gonna continue for a moment) why is this the 3rd time i see disembowlment in a series i like.... 3rd penny.... werid it happened thrice

tldr springtrap has been making a clone of himself very so often and killing himself which is funny out of context because all it has as a game mechanic is to chase you and kill you, and the rabbit is now gone and apparently not in the code and considering matt has a deadline he is screwed and he goes in the vr game and just finds him . disembowled and gets an electrical shock

ANYWAYS. NOT IMPORTANT ITS TIME TO INVOLVE MORE WOMEN

jason has been setting up matt for a double date with two girls: eve and meghan, and matt is not happy that eve is his date (which im gonna assume its a blind date? not specified)

and the first thing he does is look at this girl, go "wow she fucking sucks" and starts thinking about the woman on his roommates date

"matt couldnt figure out why she didnt sound ehtusiastic" i am going to killl you........ and then kill you again

anyways they both take their own cars to the resturant, eve and matt just have a talk thats like "you work on fnaf? my brother loves fnaf" "what do you do" "IT, jason thought itd be nice of us to know" "tech is the last thing i want to think about when im home" "me too"

this made me giggle. moving on

matt and meghan get the same food while jason and eve get spaghetti and matt is just like "yknow what, maybe i should have gotten the hotter one"

so matt is like "cant have a goodtime without money" and eve is like "thats not true :>" and matt in his mind is like "what the hell, how could she do this to me"

now for the rest of the date matt just goes on and only talks about himself, eve and jason both go to the bathroom and this is where he starts to try to impress meghan

matt is that "you not rockin with me ?! im gonna kill myself" image personified

women wronged by matt count: 3

and now this is where the pregnancy symptons come in, feeling quesy, he drinks coffee and has toast and is sick, deciding to go to work untill lunchtime and nothing had worked at this point at all, nothing too interesting to point out here

obvously now matt is irritated again, given how he cannot fix the damn thing, gary, a unimportant guy you wont see him again after this, comes up to him and asks "heyyy watcha doing!!!!!!" meanwhile matt is trying not to throw up

(oh and also gary is described as having ken-doll like hair which is hilarious to me, love it when they give the most random descriptions to characters who will never appear again)

while hes waiting for gus to make his food he looks over at a totally-not-pacmac refrence from a arcade machine nearby and is like "oh i could have reprogrammed springtrap in, how couldnt have i thought of that" and how this time he 'wont antagonise the rabbit' which i find funny cuz in the game he IS the antag but i cant be bad

WE INTERUPPT YOUR BROADCAST OF MISOGENYSTIC GUY GETTING HIS WORK FUCKED OVER TO BRING YOU: GENE!!!!!!!!!

tldr this gene guy is a hacker and gets a copy of springtraps revenge before the release date and just finds a dead disembowled springtrap which i can only imagine as this fucking screenshot and its sending me

anyway he opens the files and just finds one named "its_a_boy.exe"

did you like gene? you did? too bad, were never gonna see this guy again, say bye to gene junior

back to your usual broadcasting of misogynistic guy getting fucked over at his job

now matt is on his 2nd date with a girl called madison, matt being so hungry, orders some real cooked steak and madison is like i just want a salad please ^_^ and matt asks about what madison eats and is shocked that she spilts a burger when with friends (cuz hes so hungry at this point)

these sentences amused me, moving on

also in this i realised whoever made that one post saying "i need these books to stop using the world belly" was right. who says "Well, you won’t hear it long because it’s going to be in my belly" on a date

belly counter: 1 (for good mesure)

he just, eats the steak for a good few paragrapths, lies about being anemic, madison leaves cuz her cat is sick, hes still so hungry, theres nothing else to note of here, moving on

he wakes up, notices that he has gained afew pounds and goes to throw up

jamie meets matt and matt is like "listen im nausiated alot and starving and gaining more weight do you know any virus like this" and jamie is like "idk but you look yellowish you might have jaundice dude"

and a meeting has started, gary (hi gary again i lied he comes back a 2nd time) is like "so the game is doing well, springtraps programming people have said isnt that well, thats what beta testers said idk" and matt is like "what the hell shut the fuck up ur making it up" "how about you not talk to ur supervisor like that" and he just zooms out of there idk

he goes home to eat, again, he is no longer hungry and: ladies and gentlemen welcome jason again!

GET HIS ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!! DESERVED

right after this based jason moment matt gets a headache, not before getting a beer oh my god i cant believe i forgot about the belly counter

belly counter: 3

anyways next mini arc, matt at this point cant put on most pants, but manages to find some for his next date, with a girl named emma

so he and emma are at a bar, matt noticing immediatly that she is ""chunky"" , leading to this convo

and nvm i cant post anymore images sorry guys ill have to put them in another reblog its so over link to that will be here if you wanna look at them

(1) emma sees him and is rightfully concerne about him leaving this early and matt goes. "you should have posted a image on a dating site not 25 pounds ago" OK. WHAT

and emma just goes . "you know you are a hypocrite right" meanwhile he is like "im leaving goodbye" and has a scene the equivalent of ripping ur pants out in public

(2) lol even

women wronged by matt count: 4

matt goes home, gets changed and tries to take medicine for pain relieve and instead gets more pain, leading to the infamous scene

but wait before that i almost forgot:

belly counter: 6

the infamous scene isnt that, bad? ive seen people act like if its some unspeakable horror

matt goes into the kitchen, grabs a knife, goes on his back and disembowls himself / gives himself a C-section or whatever, almost the same, and fleshtrap is born, or something

(3) i would have expected it to be afew more paragraths if this was the case w how people describe it, its like people going "look guys this CANT be a kids book it has PEOPLE DYING" and its just like this,

(not saying you cant be grossed out im talking about the guys on freddit making the most batshit theories talking about it like its some unspoken thing, thats what i mean)

(4) and it ends here on a, id say pretty nice ending, the investigators are asking what happened to matt with jason, noticing some slimy fur next to him, honestly on its own i like it tbh

and that was the end of in the flesh 👍

MY THOUGHTS:

it was ok, no strong opinions on this honestly, had some banger lines,

and my hot take but the pregnancy thing isnt really a pregnancy? i dont know how to describe it, but it was more like, a whole entity growinh up the whole body and not like, just from the abdomen which would have been described differently, to me atleast thats how i saw it idk i might be wrong

considering it seemed to have been fully grown enough to be able to move on its own and speak, and the fact that it was described as something INSIDE him (5) so idk, idk

and it wasnt even that horrible, they dont mention it often and it isnt that in detail if you ask me, everyone is just like "OHHH THE HORROR YOU GET TO SEE SPRINGTRAP BIRTH" but again if you still cant handle it i cant blame you you do whats best for ur health

honestly i know it does describe fleshtrap as a newborn infant and the whole its_a_boy.exe thing it makes it confusing to me, the best i can describe it in my opinion is like those horror alien movies where a guy gets infected with a parasite and another alien comes out of his ass or something, yknow

(again if you just want to form ur own opinion on that for whatever reason, you can skim the story cuz this isnt like, THE best place, just a summary for anyone curious enough to read like maybe 2k words about this, dont fully trust me this isnt even checked to see if it makes sense as sentences)

tldr: i myself dont imagine it was a pregnancy, but like an alien parasite thing, if it makes sense, i might have gotten confused about what the writers ment, i dont think the scene was THAT bad

in the flesh was a story about a guy who had all his relationships tumble down not only by his frustration with them, but his frustration with the way he programmed his game, leading him to be isolated and depressed after everyone had left him on his own

as for more silly opinions on this story that arent that important

hate matt glad they got the job done of killing him off for me, i hope every girl danced on his grave, i hope jason is living his life and i hope gene junior out there if living his life, why was belly used 6 times and stomach was used like 3 times

stan robert the cliffs and sylvia your the band instead and i need everyone to hear my idea of a hannah/madison/meghan/eve/emma polycule

ok im done wiring this its 23:17 rn and i couldnt be bothered to wait next morning to recheck everything if you see any spelling mistakes no u do not

#calico.exe #tried to get inspired by bonefalls essays cuz theyre so fascinating to read #but its not really an essay just a summary #or a discussion idc #fnaf #fazbear frights #five nights at freddys #ALSO I NEED TO SAY THIS AGAIN I DONT CARE IF YOU LIKE MATT GOOD FOR YOU I JUST DONT #this was kinda fun . i hope everything made sense i might do this for some other stories #im infodumping to myself so that everyone can see and i think thats funny #anyways sorry this is so thrown around and weridly written at times ive been writing this for 4 hours and im SO tired