#anyways any more discussion on this is resulting in a block

[roosteraloha]

for worse

jake seresin x reader

wc - 5.5k

warnings - ANGST !! blood, injuries to reader, mentions cleaning up said injuries, arguments + discussions of chronic pain

disclaimer - ANY BLANK/AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED!! I also DO NOT give permission for any of my works to be copied, shared, compiled, translated or posted onto other sites!!

a/n - this is pure angst. i have no clue where this came from but I was so inspired and this just wrote itself.

reblogs & comments are greatly appreciated!!

It’s been a long few weeks for the both of you, not having much time to spend with each other. Having two very busy schedules often meant that one of you missed the other, and heartbreakingly, it was commonly by just a few minutes. Jake’s schedule was vastly more complicated than your own, with the possibility of receiving deployment papers or new missions, occasionally with almost no advance notice. Thankfully, the pair of you hadn’t had to worry about working through the complexities that came with being in a relationship during deployments yet, something that Jake was especially grateful for. He saw himself spending the rest of his life with you, if you let him, but knew a poorly timed deployment had the potential to ruin the longevity of your relationship. That is something that nags at the back of Jake’s mind each and every time he climbs into his plane.

Jake was deeply relieved to be heading home. The entire week had dragged, countless new training exercises and protocols had made for a physically and emotionally draining week. Heading home to spend the weekend with you was exactly what he needed. Still a relatively new relationship, Jake was uncharacteristically nervous, he was eager to take the next step, moving in together, but was keenly aware of just how flighty and generally anxious you were. Moving too fast with you would be heartbreaking, simply because he knew he could lose you, far easier than he gained you.

Pulling into his driveway, the dark house is highly concerning to Jake. Frowning, he checks his watch, and then his phone, acutely aware that he could’ve taken longer on base than he planned, only to find it was 6pm, the agreed upon time. He had text during his lunch break, a quick conversation that informed you that he’d be a bit later than anticipated, and your immediate response reassuring him that you’d be there anyway. What had happened in those six hours that you couldn’t let him know you wouldn’t be here to greet him.

A quick sweep of his house, and no sign of you. No keys, no shoes kicked off by the door, every room empty. Alarm bells start ringing, Jake knows you. You’re not one to not follow through on plans, you’d always text, call or anything you could to get the message through, that’s one of the first things Jake loved about you.

A rather rapid drive over to your apartment is not the calming result Jake was expecting. Actually, it’s far more alarming to have no response at the door, finding it void of you, not even tucked up in bed for an after work nap, like you had been known to do. Jake was half expecting to find you asleep in your apartment, but it being empty, that was far more concerning. It wasn’t like you to just disappear.

On the way back to his house, Jake swung by the café, wondering if you’d picked up an extra shift, and had just forgotten to let him know. His heart clenched when you weren’t there. Your colleagues told him they’d seen you leave at 4pm, your usual finishing time on Fridays, so you could spend extra time with Jake over the weekend. They too were concerned, the usually confident aviator, someone they’d grown to love having around, now having cracks in his carefree persona, his worry for you nearing panic.

Jake’s shoulders felt heavier when he returned home to no signs of you. The worry of not knowing where you were, weighing down on his heart, and his mind.

It was now 7PM.

Jake was still alone in his house, with no communication from you, and all he wanted was to know if you were okay or not.

With still no word from you, Jake decided to head to bed. While he was deeply concerned for you, he also knew he couldn’t stay up all night, he needed to sleep if he was going to look for you.

Trudging up the stairs, Jake’s heart grew heavier and heavier. His concern for you was growing with every hour that passed without any news from you. Exhaling deeply, Jake turned to his bedroom, pausing in the doorway to look at his bed, the side where you should be sleeping.

Brows furrowed, Jake’s eyes scanned the room again. Something was off, something was different from usual, a fact he knew due to his military level of attention to detail.

The right-hand bedside table. Your side.

A slight glisten caught Jake’s eye.

Cautiously approaching to get a better look, only to trip over something, stumbling and grabbing the bed to stay upright. Muttering grumbles under his breath, Jake looked down to see what he tripped over. A pair of boots. More specifically, your boots. His eyes widened at the realisation, eyes darting to the bedside table. Your keys. He knew they were yours from the cowboy hat keychain, the one he bought you from his last trip to Texas, something to remind you of him always.

Heart pounding in his chest, Jake rushes around the end of the bed, calling out for you, turning on countless lights, searching anywhere for you in the diminishing daylight.

The panic in Jake was rising, you weren’t downstairs, and he only had a few rooms left upstairs to check. A slight thud from his en-suite bathroom had him rushing back to his room, nudging the bathroom door open with caution, unsure of what he would find.

From the warm glow of the bedroom lights, Jake can see the outline of your body, curled up on the cold bathroom tiles, knees pulled tight to your chest, head resting against them. That relief he felt was short-lived.

Something was wrong.

Blinded by the immense relief of finding you, Jake pushes the door open further, a forceful shove which causes the door to slam into the wall, making you flinch at the sudden noise. "How long have you been home?! I’ve been looking around for you like crazy! I went to your place and you weren’t there, I even went to the café looking for you!” Jake’s tone is demanding, laced with anger and frustration that you must have been here all along and just never bothered to let him know.

Jake scoffed at your silence, you didn’t even look up at him, instead having remained staring at the ground like had been doing for who knows how long. There’s a quiet mumble that fills the otherwise silent bathroom, almost going unheard by an exasperated Jake. Spinning on his heels, he crosses the short distance between you both, and crouches down directly in front of you, taking a softer approach this time.

“Hey, darlin’. Look at me. Say that again.”

You swallow thickly, looking up, but not at Jake, instead straight past him, fixating on a tile in the shower wall.

“I uh- I can’t- We need to break up Jake.”

Blindsided by this, Jake mentally runs through the past few months, ensuring he didn’t miss any important dates, but your birthday and anniversary were still months away. Things were going well in your relationship, Jake was ready to ask you to move in next month, he’d even cleared a section of his wardrobe for you.

He’d clearly misread the situation.

Now deeply hurting, Jake’s heart dropped, he never wanted to hear those words from your mouth. Not ever. “So you just made that decision for me? You’re not even going to dignify me with that information while looking at me?” The hurt is clear in his voice, his southern drawl seeping through with the intensity of emotion.

You simply shrug, knowing if you look at him, you’d break down. Jake is- was the best relationship you ever had, and that’s why it needs to end now.

Clearing his throat that was thick with emotion, Jake tried to hide just how blindsided you’d made him, choosing to fight for you “Whether you like it or not, I'm not giving up on us. I’m not giving up on you.” Sighing deeply, eyes darting across your face, seeking to catch your eye line, searching for any hint of your emotion. “You gonna tell me where this is coming from? I can’t fix this if you don’t talk to me darlin’.”

Another half-hearted shrug.

Jake nudges you gently, getting rapidly more frustrated when you don’t respond to him at all, but still mindful of your body, and any sensitive areas he was aware of, that was always his priority. You, making sure you were safe and well.

One rather loud clear of his throat has your eyes on him, still refusing to meet his eyes, but this was progress and Jake could work with this. “Darlin’… I can’t fix this, I can’t fix us, if you don’t start talking to me.” At your continued silence, Jake raises an eyebrow expectantly, aware of how emotionally fragile you could be right now, and not wanting to push you much more if he could help it. “Cry, yell, whatever - I'm not gonna leave your side. Especially not until you talk to me.”

Uncharacteristically, you lash out, emotions bubbling over, this conversation not going the way you’d planned it in your head. You should’ve known better. Jake was always one to fight for what he loved. One to fight for you. “Why do you always think there is something to fix?! Am I that big of a burden to you? Hell, what if this is something you cant fix, huh? What then?”

Eyes widened in pure shock at your outburst, Jake shifts to sit in front of you, back pressed against the shower door mirroring you, his feet either side of yours. “You wanna try that again darlin’? Don’t think I didn’t catch that but about calling yourself a burden.” Jake shakes his head in disbelief, it seemed that no matter how many times he reassured you that you were never a burden to him, it never got through to you, you would always view yourself that way.

Now you just shook your head and shrugged weakly, the fight going out of you. Another alarming thing to Jake. “I'm here and I'm not leaving or letting you change the subject. Now talk to me.”

Your eyes dart away from Jake’s face, back to the same tile on the shower wall. Another shrug, to which Jake nudges your knee with his own, clearing his throat again, this time to try and coax you to start talking to him, to go back to being open with him, instead of closing yourself off to him and your relationship.

“You don't deserve someone like me. You deserve someone better.” You breathe out shakily, tears brimming in your eyes, as you finally make direct eye contact with Jake. “Someone like you, shouldn’t be stuck and burdened with someone like me. You deserve so much better than me Jake. I’m sorry I can’t be that for you, but I can’t keep doing this. We need to break up. It’s what’s best for you.”

Now you’d given Jake an idea of where your head was at, what your thought process was, and how he could try and fix this. Even if it meant he’d lose your relationship, the one thing Jake would not lose was you. He just couldn’t.

Attempting a different approach, Jake exhaled slowly, resting a hand on your knee, taking note of you still in your work uniform. You had to have been sitting here alone, in the dark, for hours. "Hey darlin’, look at me properly. I’m here, I'm listening. You can tell me anything. You know that.”

Jake tilted his head slightly, watching you carefully, slowly coaxing you to answer him in any way he knew, “I uh-…” Stopping and trailing off several times in quick succession is only adding to Jake’s concern for your wellbeing, but giving him a better idea of how to get through to you.

Squeezing your knee gently, Jake gained your eyes dart back on his, wide and fearful, a change from the closed off and disassociated look you’d had before. “You don't have to pretend to be fine with me.”

“I feel like the pain is all I am anymore.”

That was not what Jake was expecting at all. Sighing heavily at the idea that you felt like your pain has taken over your entire life, Jake squeezed your knee again, trying to give you as much comfort as you’d let him. With no verbal response from Jake, you carry on, “I know it's selfish, but sometimes I wish someone would just take care of me. So I can just shut off, and not have to deal with everything else for once, y’know?” Sniffling, the first tears spill down your cheeks, “No one ever helped me when I needed it. so, I just try to do my best to keep all that to myself. I don’t want to be a burden Jake. But I can’t keep doing this. I can’t… I can't continue this relationship based on half-truths and hiding my feelings. You deserve better than that Jake, and it breaks my heart that I can’t be that person for you.”

Jake’s eyes burn with emotion at your words, you were constantly putting others before your own well-being, even if it meant leaving your relationship. Leaving him. And it breaks his heart that someone has made you feel like your pain is too big a burden to share, even with those you love. “I know you feel like you're alone and I'm not going to invalidate that. But I can tell you that I'm here. and I know there are other people who want to help if you'll let them.”

Sniffling and nodding reluctantly, you blink back more tears, looking properly at Jake for the first time in this conversation, finding his eyes glassy, with nothing but love and care for you in his green eyes. Nodding himself at finally getting through to you, Jake smiles softly, “Darlin’, I can't promise you that you aren't going to have any more hardship or pain. But what I can promise you, is that I'm always going to be right here to get you through it. Always.”

Bottom lip trembling, you shakily reach a hand out to Jake, seeking his comfort, resigning from your fight to break up, craving him to hold you. He always does know the right thing to say. Assessing your body language, Jake takes your outstretched hand, moving to sit next to you, a strong arm around your shoulders, pulling you close to his body, “It’s okay darlin’. Just let it all out.”

A sob gets stuck in your throat, choking on it as you try and fail to take a deep breath. Jake’s thumb rubbing soft, soothing circles across the bare skin of your arm is all it takes for the sobs to start. Finally releasing all of your pent up emotions, but majoritively of relief. Relief that Jake would never give up on you or your relationship without a fight, and luckily for you, he always knew the right thing to say, the right way to say it, and always, always had plenty of fight in him when it came down to you.

As your heavy sobs continue, your breathing becomes more erratic, something which Jake seems to instinctively pick up on, soft muttering of reassurances, and pressing soft kisses to the crown of your head, stroking your hair softly, “It's okay, deep breaths. That's it, in and out.” Helping to get your breathing back under control, and your sobs to ease into an occasional sniffle, Jake continues to pepper soft kisses across your cheeks and forehead, “There you go, that’s better darlin’. I’m here. I’ve got you.”

Your fist is clenched tightly into Jake’s shirt, tears silently streaming down your cheeks, a soft whine leaving your lips when Jake tries to coax you away from his neck, to get a proper look at you. He smiles softly, brushing the last tears from your cheeks gently with his thumbs, “I know darlin’, but you gotta let me up. You need something to eat and then some sleep, okay?”

Another soft whine pulls a chuckle from Jake, who gently moves you off his lap, allowing him to stand. Moving to turn on the bathroom light, a glinting fragment catches his eye. Scanning the rest of the bathroom, there’s several more fragments glistening by you on the tiled floor, and a few scattered across the counter.

Jake quickly flips the light switch, illuminating the bathroom in a soft glow. The bathroom counter is bare, various objects scattered across the far side of the bathroom. The glistening Jake saw was in fact various sized fragments of the countertop mirror.

Upon closer inspection, several fragments were covered in small amounts of blood. Panic stricken that you could be hurt, Jake is immediately back by your side, eyes darting over you, scanning your body for any signs of injuries. Clearing your throat softly, you try to surreptitiously slip your left hand behind your back, not wanting Jake to be alarmed if he noticed you were injured.

Ever the eagle-eyed observer, Jake’s concerned gaze is instantly back on you, stepping closer to you slowly, cautious as to not spook you. Kneeling down in front of you, Jake reaches out for your hand, brows furrowed and eyes full of concern. While an emotional person, you weren’t one to lash out and act recklessly, which is why Jake’s concern and worry for your wellbeing is evergrowing today.

Having slightly zoned out again, you flinch suddenly as Jake’s hand comes into your eye line, head hitting the bathroom under-sink cabinet with a dull thud, one that has Jake visibly wincing. Once again reaching out for you, his heart drops when you scramble away from him, hands getting caught on the loose mirror fragments behind you.

Your eyes are wide and full of distress, a look Jake hates to see in you. Your bottom lip is wobbling again as you look from your hands to Jake and back again several times, as if you didn’t know what to do, and Jake would. Sighing softly, Jake crouches before you, speaking quietly and calmly, “I can't clean you up if you keep flinching away from me so that I can't touch you. Will you give me your hand?” One hand slowly outstretched, palm side up as a gentle reminder he’d always be there for you, “C’mon darlin’. Please?”

A shaky and rather hesitant nod from you has Jake shifting ever so slightly closer to you, trying to get a better look at your hands. This time you don’t flinch, instead looking up at Jake with sorrowful eyes, the intensity of pain that you’re feeling almost becoming too much to hide like you normally would.

Grabbing you firmly by the elbows, Jake gently encourages you to stand, keeping you close to his body as you away on your unsteady feet. Having cleared the counter of any remaining shards, Jake’s hands mode to your waist, lifting you to sit on the countertop, a better hand for him to work on cleaning up your wounds.

“Be honest, how bad is this pain?”

A shrug, “Like a four out of ten? I’ve had worse pain.”

“When you say your pain's 'a four out of ten’, that's a normal person's ‘eight out of ten'.” Jake frowns, slightly frustrated that you are still downplaying your pain levels. “If it hurts, it hurts darlin’. Simple as that.”

A shy nod from you is rewarded with a soft kiss on your forehead, “I can sort out my hand, it’s my own fault. You don’t need to do it for me.” Jake routes through his medicine cabinet for some antiseptics and bandages to properly clean and dress your wounds. "This isn't up for discussion. I know you're used to looking out for yourself, but I need you to understand that you don't have to live like that anymore. I'm here. Just let me take care of you.” Another shy nod from you and a small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth, happy to have won this fight.

Gentle shushing from Jake is an attempt to soothe any incoming whimpers from the sting of the antiseptic, only to be cut off by a wince upon finding a sliver of glass embedded in your left hand. Blankly, you just look up at Jake and shake your head, as if to say, ‘please don’t do what I think you’re going to do’, but with the resignation that you knew Jake always put your wellbeing first, and he’d do exactly that.

Jake has to grit his teeth as he removes the sliver, pressing kissing of praise when you only whine once, an improvement on the last time Jake had to patch you up. Eying the antiseptic bottle warily, you try to slip off the counter, a strong desire to avoid anymore pain, but a firm hand on your waist tells you Jake isn’t having any of it.

A few swipes into Jake clearing your wound has you hissing in pain, kicking your feet out, trying to push him away, the burning sting of pain almost becoming all-consuming. "I know it hurts, I know. We're almost done darlin’, you’re doing so well.” Next is a dressing and a loose bandage, Jake all too aware of how much you fiddle with tight bandages, there being no point applying on properly when you’re going to sleep soon.

Your eyes light up in relief when Jake tidied up the first aid supplies, “All done?” A terse nod from Jake has you smiling softly, tugging on the bottom of Jake’s shirt, pulling him back towards you, arms circling his waist as you hug him tightly, “Thank you.” A small smile flickers on Jake’s lips, kissing the crown of your head several times, returning your loving embrace, “Always.”

Having scooped you up carefully off his bathroom counter, Jake carries you back downstairs, sitting on an empty section of kitchen worktop. He pressed a kiss to your forehead, “Now, you just sit there and I'm gonna make you something to eat. We're gonna talk this out more tomorrow. We both need some food and sleep first.” His jaw is clenched tightly, expecting you to argue back and fight him on this, but is pleasantly surprised and relieved when you pull him closer, nuzzling your head into his chest as you nod.

“But first, one important thing, that I’m not arguing with you over. We’re not breaking up. I won’t let that happen.”

Opening your mouth to speak your mind, you pause, Jake raising a challenging eyebrow, almost daring you to fight him on this again. Deciding that Jake was perhaps right, as much as you’d rather not admit it to his face, he usually was right when it came to you and your relationship. Opting to shut your mouth and let Jake take care of you, you nod curtly, watching him step away and busy himself around the kitchen.

It’s fascinating to watch the man you love, so dedicated to taking care of you, work in the kitchen, soon noticing the ingredients he’s picking out, registering that Jake is making your favourite comfort food. Tears burn the back of your eyes, you’ve never had someone so content and determined to take extra time from their day to make you feel better.

Jake immediately is back at your side, hand gently cupping your cheeks, when he notices your expression, searching your eyes for any dog of what had caused your sudden emotion, “Hey, hey, hey, what’s wrong darlin’?” Eyes darting down you hand, his fingers gently running over the fresh bandage on your hand, looking for any sign of rebleeding, “Is it your hand? Are you in a lot of pain? Do you need your painkillers? I can get them for you?” Jake pulls away from you, moving to get any painkillers you might need, ever the attentive boyfriend you’d grown to love with your whole heart.

You smile sweetly up at Jake, reaching out for him with glassy eyes, pulling him back to stand between your legs, hand framing his face, stroking gently against the day old stubble. “Jake. Just stop for a second. I’m okay, I promise you. I’m just thinking about how grateful I am to have you to take care of me.” Relieved, Jake kisses you gently, “Even when you fight me when I try and take care of you?” He’s teasing now, you can tell, shaking your head and smiling, you pull him closer by the collar of his shirt, kissing him lovingly, “Of course. I will always be grateful for you Jake, even when I don’t always want your help.”

Kissing you gently again, Jake steps away, lifting you off the counter and leading you into the dining room, setting a portion of food in front of you first, then moving to the adjacent chair and setting down his own. Watching you take the first few bites, Jake only starts eating when he’s entirely sure that your food is okay for your taste.

Finishing your plate, you're surprised at how hungry you actually were. Smiling softly, Jake slides his half empty plate in front of you, content to sacrifice his meal to ensure you don't go hungry. You beam over at him, offering him the occasional forkful.

You’d always take care of each other.

Back in his bedroom, Jake pulls an old t-shirt from his closet, one that he knew you had a not-so-secret favouritism for. Setting the shirt down on the edge of the bed, Jake tenderly starts to help you out of your work uniform. Cautious of how tired you are now seeming, he takes great care to do most of the complicated things for you.

Pulling his shirt over your head, Jake smooths your hair out, combing it out of your tight work hairstyle with gentle fingers, helping to pull your arms through the sleeves, smiling to himself when you can feel the tension of the day leaving your body.

A tired whine leaves your lips when Jake tries to coax back to stand, trying to lead you into the bathroom to fully get ready for bed. Your protests are cut off by a yawn, Jake chuckles, “C’mon darlin’, I know you’re tired, but you’ve got to. You’ll feel better.” A disgruntled grunt from you has Jake laughing, successfully managing to coax you into his bathroom.

Lifting you back onto the counter, Jake pulls out your toothbrush, then his own. He watches you carefully, wiping your mouth with a fresh washcloth when you're finished. Reaching for the hairbrush he bought for you at his place, Jake parts your hair, brushing each section carefully, not wanting to tug on any knots. You giggle at Jake’s attempts to try and tie your hair back, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek when he surrenders the brush to you and letting you pull your hair out of your face properly.

Jake sets a glass of iced water on your bedside table, having carried you the short distance from his bathroom to the bed, tucking the covers over you carefully. He even brought an extra blanket from downstairs to ensure you’d be warm enough, or to at least comfort you a bit more, aware enough of your sleeping habits, to not tuck you in too tightly, and wait until he was next to you to try and help you sleep soundly.

Propping you up against his chest, Jake hands you an anti-nausea tablet, one you occasionally took on your bad days, one that Jake had noticed you’d need through your body language. Staring at it in your hand for a few seconds, you work up the mental courage to swallow, gulping some of the water down to discourage the bitter taste from lingering. He hands you a small blister packet of them, all too aware that you could wake up and need more, but would be too anxious to wake Jake up. It was little things, the basic gestures and actions that made you fall more in love with Jake each and every day that you spend in a relationship together.

Resting your head gently on Jake’s chest, with one arm carefully resting over his torso, you inhale deeply, cut off by a big yawn. Jake secured his arm around your body, pulling the blanket around your exposed arms, his hand coming to rest at the base of your neck, fingers occasionally tracing soft circles onto your scalp, easing the tension there.

The house is quiet, which is not unusual for being so close to a base at this time of night, every for the quiet, yet reassuring mumblings from Jake, reminding you that he’s always going to be there for you, there to take care of you, and most importantly, how much he loves you.

“Next time it gets this bad, you call me okay?” He looks down at you, there’s nothing but love and concern for you in his eyes, and you nod shyly, slightly embarrassed of how your choice to hide away from Jake had in fact caused him more worry, which was what you had been trying to avoid all along.

“You can't keep hiding this stuff.” He lifts your chin up gently with his other hand, trying to get you to look at him again, “I need to be able to trust you to tell me when you're hurting. Whether that’s physically or mentally, okay?”

Gaze dropping down from his green eyes, Jake is quick to whisper more reassurances to you, pushing stray hairs behind your ear, “You are so much stronger and braver than you think you are.” There’s more on the tip of his tongue if you even look like you’re going to dispute his words, yet to his surprise, you nod shyly, eyes flickering back to his loving gaze, “I think I’m starting to get that.” It was a rather shy and quiet admission, yet Jake’s face lit up with pride at your words, and his smile only grew and you continued, “I know that I used to disagree with you rather strongly, but thank you for helping me see clearly. I’m a better person with you in my life Jake. You make me better.”

Jake hums in agreement, it wasn’t exactly hard to see how much better you two were together, how much you bettered the other. This was a first was both you and Jake, and a joy that you both got to discover this kind of loving relationship with each other.

“We’ll talk more about this tomorrow when we’re both properly rested, but I hope you realise that I’ll always fight for this - for us.” Your eyes are fixated on his and you listen intently to what he has to say, majorly aware that the way you went about bringing this topic up to Jake, was the complete wrong thing. Jake wouldn’t give you up without a fight.

Exhaling deeply, Jake offers a different perspective, “Look at it this way - would you love me still if I was the one in so much pain? Would you stay with me for the rest of our lives, like I will for you?”

Your response is instant, “Of course. You know I would.” Jake’s mouth twitches into a soft smile, easing an eyebrow and waiting for you to realise. Your eyes widen as it clicks, looking down at your lap shyly, “Oh… Thanks Jake.” Nodding, he kisses the top of your head, pulling you tightly back to his side.

You can’t help the soft laughter that bubbles up as Jake peppers your face with kisses, there’s not an inch of your face that doesn’t get covered in multiple kisses. Jake can’t fight his own laughter at your infectious one, continuing to kiss you all over, moving to pepper kisses on your hair and neck.

Jake only let up on his over the top display of his affection for you, when it’s clear that you’re struggling to catch your breath because you’re laughing so much at his antics. Grinning, he pulls you close to him, a projective arm around your shoulders while you rest half on his chest, covering you both with the blanket, pressing a final sweet kiss to your forehead, “I love you so much darlin’.”

Smiling tiredly up at him, “I love you too Jake. More than you know.”

While the pair of you had a serious conversation ahead of you, Jake and yourself knew that as long as you had each other, you’d make it through, no matter what life threw at you.

You’d get the chance to spend the rest of your lives with each other.

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[dragongirltongue]

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Hi there, the name is Zelda, or one of like, 20 other names that may or may not be listed somewhere around here. If you know a name I go by that isn't findable here don't use it. <3

I'm bigender which is made up of girl and fem6oy, as such I use she/her and sometimes he/him pronouns when I'm feeling fem6oy enough <3

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I'm a polyamorous bisexual voraphile freak and if you're over 18 you're welcome to talk to me about how much of a freak I am. I love to flirt and encourage it. Also happy to share my Other Blog with anyone interested, again as long as you're of age. <3

I'm a film graduate and currently working on doing something with that experience as well as working on a superhero comic and a 2D zelda style game. Feel free to bug me about any of those I love to discuss writing and media and want to encourage media literacy. <3

I'm also an ex-jehovahs witness and as a result I'm hugely into the holiday season in a very against my old god kinda way. Also big into sinning <3

Also I'm like, a dragon in probably an otherkin/thetadelta kinda way, like, it's core to who I am and how I understand myself so yeah. Despite this my fursona is a fox, the dragon in my icon is literally me <3

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this post is specifically a6out tum6lr user Zelda dragongirltongue

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lmao imagine if I actually made one of those finally, that's how you'd know I've been replaced with an evil clone or something.

That being said if you're looking at my blog to send me an ask or dm about what someone gets off to please understand unless they're actively hurting someone I rly don't care. I have a lot of ignored and blocked anons about this.

This goes double if the person you're trying to alert me to is trans femme, we don't play that game here, especially given that I know I've been targetted for things as simple as engaging in vore the wrong way for some people or whatever.

Like, I just want to make it clear I rly don't give a fuck what another adult does in the bedroom, I rly don't care if the bedroom happens to include their blog and I rly don't care if they like to flirt about it with other adults on this website.

Also if your pinned post is a callout for anyone about anything it's likely to set off my paranoia around you, which is to say I will not be able to trust you if this is the case even if it's for someone who's actually a danger to a community, like, actively.

Like, this ain't a moral stance or anything, it's a mental health thing. I see that you want to make your first point of contact into a crosshair on someone else I'm gonna be scared you're gonna aim at me next even if it's completely reasonable that you'd never find anything objectionable with me. It scares me and I'm gonna spend every interaction walking on egg shells around you cos what if you're digging for dirt, like, I got no way of knowing.

Anyway as the opening joke implies I don't see any worth in having a list of things to not interact with me over cos the lived experience on this planet is so full of nuance and I've formed deem friendships with people who'd probably have avoided me if I had a DNI and they cared about it.

I think DNIs are dumb but this feels like a space to talk about some general limits on what I'm gonna put up with on this website. I'm just here for a good time with other freaks, anything else is optional. If you want to drag me into your discourse at this point then I guess this is whre I ask you to Do Not Interact. To anyone else, I love yall <3

If you've been directed here after sending an ask my way please apologize for wasting my time [here]

tl;dr DNIs are dumb but don't drag me into your personal grievances with others.

this post is still specifically a6out tum6lr user Zelda dragongirltongue

#6aaah #last updated april 28

[gallifreyriver]

Update to this post because a year later they're still trying it.

They vote again tomorrow, March 13th, to try and ban TikTok- only this time they're doing all they can to claim it's not a TikTik ban.

They claim it's to "protect Americans from 'Foreign Adversary Controlled Applications'" despite singling out ByteDance/TikTok specifically, and mentioning TikTok in literally the first sentence.

They also claim it's not a "ban," they're just giving TikTok the "opportunity" to divest from ByteDance and sell it's company, algorithms and source code to a non-communist county (the US) within 180 days or the US will take action and make the app inaccessible to USA Americans, which make up 150 million of TikTok's user base, the largest TikTok audience by country so far.

One could call this a shakedown, that effectively the US is trying to steal a popular and profitable company. "That's a nice company you got there, be a shame if you... I don't know... lost 150 million users- Wouldn't it?"

[Edit: Forgot to add that even though the US has 150 million TikTok users, that's still only like 8%-ish of TikTiks total userbase- making this "shakedown" an example of how Congress is embarrassingly USA-centric. TikTok will not sell just to avoid losing just 7%-8% of it's userbase, and Congress must know that- if not, that just proves the point even more. This bill is for all intents and purposes a BAN, regardless how they try to spin it, and they're being very USA-centric and Xenophobic about it]

Anyway-

This is the second vote. A House committee voted unanimously on Mar. 7th to advance the bill, and it will be voted on again by a Republican controlled House.

Please call or email your representatives and tell them to vote "No" on bill H.R. 7521.

This isn't about just losing an app. TikTok is unique in that it is currently the easiest place to organize and spread information that otherwise doesn't get as much coverage. It allows for real time coverage and updates by those living through major events going on around the word, and has allowed for increased awareness for such events that we likely wouldn't hear about otherwise. (i.e: the genocide in Palestine, Cop City, any of the bills trying to take trans rights/abortion rights away, etc)

If you don't know your representatives, just google "who are my representatives" and the first results should be links that will help you find them based on your zip code

And if you don't know what to write I can help you there too.

You can write something as simple as just:

Vote "No" on bill H.R. 7521.

Seriously, that's all you need.

Or, if you want something a little more in depth, here's a script that you can either copy and paste or reword to your liking. I just re-worded the script from the ACLU link above to fit more specifically about the current bill (Though let's be honest, for all intents and purposes Congress is pulling the same shit in a different hat)

Dear Representative, I’m writing today to strongly urge you to protect our constitutional rights to free expression and to receive information, and to vote no on any bill that would give the federal government the power to ban entire social media platforms. Bill H.R. 7521 is designed to allow the government to ban TikTok in the US and would likely result in bans of other businesses and applications as well. Given what we know about TikTok, it’s clear that a ban would violate the First Amendment rights of millions of Americans who use the app to communicate and express themselves daily. Should these bills move to a vote, I urge you to vote “No.” In a purported attempt to protect the data of US persons from the Chinese government, these bills will instead block Americans from engaging in political discussions, artistic expression, and the free exchange of ideas. We have a First Amendment right to use TikTok and other platforms to exchange our thoughts, ideas, and opinions with people around the country and around the world. Please oppose any bill designed to limit our right to express ourselves — both online and off. Thank you.

Reminder, they vote tomorrow, Wednesday March 13th.

So please reblog this to spread the word and contact your representatives to tell them to vote "No" on this bill.

Do not be mistaken in thinking your opinion doesn't matter- it does matter so much. Do not let yourself be silenced!

#stop tiktok ban #tiktok #tiktok ban #internet censorship #important #urgent #sos #bad internet bills #internet freedom #congress #house of representatives #help

[petrichorium]

on plagiarism

when all of this began, i confess i never imagined i'd be involved this closely. i've been a bit on the fringe of it, with many mutuals involved and my own name dragged into the fray briefly but ultimately trying to keep my distance. but in a brief moment of curiosity (or weakness, perhaps) i let myself do some digging and discovered that i, too, was plagiarized by a former mutual whose work i admired greatly.

one of the most beautiful things about this community is how collaborative it is. we are a group of people with mutual interests who found each other on the vast sprawl of the internet, and our creativity is something which grows as a result of each of us working together. the kind of plagiarism i discuss today is hard to spot, easy to dismiss, and above all else painful for the victims. it is difficult to express how nauseating it feels to see someone take an idea and run with it without permission, consideration, or credit, all while it remains so subtle that you feel nobody will believe you.

Plagiarism, by definition, is "to steal and pass off the ideas or words of another as one's own; to use another's production without crediting the source; to commit literary theft; to present as new and original an idea or product derived from an existing source" (from merriam-webster, because wouldn't it be ironic if i didn't clarify?). Note, please, the use of "idea." Nobody is fool enough to think plagiarism must be exact 1:1 wording. If you're claiming that, you're very certainly being purposefully obtuse.

the evidence i present below is clear, in my opinion. i'm not going to leave names out of it—the accused has already outed herself and has claimed to have left her blog, so I have no reason to coddle her, and equally there is no sense in reporting or engaging with it in any way. it shouldn't have to be said, but don't harass her; whether or not her blog is truly abandoned, any asks could still make it to her. Obviously sending harassment at any time is childish, cruel, and reprehensible, and nobody is deserving of it.

The plagiarist is @/shiinleaf. there is another player in this game, @/seoafin, who also fell victim to the same scenario twice. seoafin made her own callout post (politely lacking in names) and shiinleaf made her own response, both of which I will link now.

[seoafin's post regarding plagiarism]

[shiinleaf’s response in defense]

I also want to say, to be honest, I wouldn't give much of a damn about this if not for the context. i wrote a one sentence textpost and shiinleaf made her own imitation a week later, then elaborated upon it. the single sentence (and a few tags) is all that i provided; while the lack of interaction and credit hurt, i wouldn't much care...

if not for seoafin's experiences. make no mistake, my evidence here is intended to support hers; to bolster her arguments and to provide further proof of shiinleaf's actions. While her claims might be subtle, my own are more blatant, and help to establish a clear pattern of behavior which is neither respectful nor considerate of fellow authors. This is further proven by the hate that seoafin received for speaking up—the very reason I’m choosing to come forward. While the initial crime might be something unworthy of speaking about publicly, I won’t stand by while a fellow victim is harassed and gaslit in her own askbox.

anyway. im done grandstanding. I have screenshots and links so let's get into this.

i preface this by saying that while i was vaguely aware of this situation—as i was up until recently mutuals with shiinleaf (xin) and only mutuals-in-law with seoafin (morgan) and, thus, friends with many people with full knowledge of and involved in the entire debacle—i largely made an effort to keep out of the situation, despite (in a situation which i really can't get into) my name being dragged into it in private, resulting in me soft blocking xin.

my interest was reignited last evening, however, after many vague posts by mutuals which made me check shiinleaf's blog out of curiosity. i saw that xin had gone through and reblogged nearly all of her old writing, and near the top a post caught my eye.

the post was a brief textpost about the honkai: star rail character Jing Yuan, later elaborated upon in a followup reblog. This had been posted in July, and something about the phrasing and the timestamp made me pause.

I have made a few posts in the past about characters who "like brats," specifically not "to tame." I remembered making one about Jing Yuan many months ago. So, I went digging in my blog's archive, and sure enough I found it.

Here are the two initial posts side-by-side. My post is dated July 19th at 11:37pm. Xin's is dated almost exactly a week later, July 27th at 5:13am. Additionally, I've provided a screenshot of the first sentence of the followup reblog; note the specific usage of "brats"/"bratty", "not taming," and "likes the chase."

[link to xin's initial post] [link to xin's follow-up reblog]

[link to my post]

As the final nail in the coffin, here is a video of my post with proof that Xin saw it: she gave it a like. Note that this post was reblogged once and had only six likes; it wasn't a popular post whatsoever.

Finally, an interesting thing to note (though not altogether suspicious) is that xin states in the tags of her followup reblog that she has written a "7k word fic" about the concept discussed. She later states in a reblog from the 23rd that this fic was her fic Filler, one which she also has stated that she began on the 19th of July—the same day as my initial post. These coincidences, unfortunately, only keep adding up.

[link to xin's recent reblog of the plagiarized post]

[link to xin's recent reblog of Filler]

(note: the precise timeline of Filler does not line up exactly with the premise that it was created solely due to my post; the screenshots provided of the fic's document predate my own post by many hours. However, I am not claiming that the entire fic is based upon my post. That would be absurd, it's literally one sentence and a few tags. By xin's own admission, however, the fic was based upon many things including the premise potentially provided by myself—it is entirely within the realm of plausibility for her to have begun Filler and allowed my post to impact her writing of it, especially seeing as she, without a doubt, saw my post within hours of beginning the fic)

Now, I'd like to make myself perfectly clear here. This incident, were it isolated, would not make me call someone out. I understand that this community is full of authors inspiring one another. My post was a brief, fleeting idea which I did not elaborate upon; what she potentially did with that idea, to be frank, was absolutely phenomenal, and I am by no means whatsoever taking credit for ANYTHING beyond my initial post. Xin has stated that Filler in particular was a deeply personal fic for her, based upon her cultural and familial experiences—I would never dream of taking away from that. I think it's a fic that she should be proud of, and frankly I’d feel honored if I played any part in its creation.

However, it is abundantly clear in my opinion (from the fact that my post was liked, from the evident timeline, and from my own wording being ripped almost exactly) that xin drew inspiration from me and made no effort to give me the proper credit. This was not collaboration but rather a purposeful choice to use my own idea as a jumping off point and pass it off as her own. We weren't mutuals at the time, but I had seen her in my notifs frequently; had she added to my post, I would have been delighted. And my dms are also open, if she had been concerned about my response she could have asked me for permission. Unfortunately, she did neither of those things, and so here we are.

More importantly, however, I come forward with this—as stated initially—with the intent to defend seoafin (morgan), who came forward with her own post regarding xin's plagiarism. [morgan's post linked here again] please note that morgan took care not to mention xin, her blog, or directly link any xin's relevant fics. However, my own experience only bolsters the credibility of morgan's accusations. Once again, i wouldn't be coming forward if i were the only victim, but morgan has been inundated with asks since she made the accusation and i found it vital to support her claims. From vitriolic harassment to gaslighting to death threats, the response to morgan's post has been troubling, and i (futilely, im sure) hope that my own post will put an end to this. a clearly established pattern has been shown—three instances among two different authors of xin taking inspiration without credit—and i think it's fair to say that my evidence is solid.

i'll leave with another soapbox paragraph to match the beginning. up until this incident... i had been mutuals with xin. i had seen her in my notifs for months before i followed back, including when she chose to steal my idea. i held great respect for her work; i considered her a very talented author, and to an extent I still do—I genuinely can’t emphasize enough that I’m sure hardly a fraction of my impact potentially made it into Filler, and it remains one of my favorite Jing Yuan fics out there. my heart aches at how this turned out, not simply for her plagiarism but for her actions since she was found out. I simply can’t wrap my head around everything that’s transpired these past few weeks.

thank you all reading. i hope i didn't drag on too long. im done now i promise 🫶🏻

#damn. cant believe I’m making my first callout post #we r reaching milestones at record place on this blog #but only the worst ones #n e way. written last night but scheduled for this morning 🫶🏻

[danwhobrowses]

One Piece Chapter 1109 - Initial Thoughts

Late on arrival but finally we're back to One Piece

The old stella is likely dead, but he's left a big broadcast behind Is he gonna spill all the tea? Let's not wait any longer

Spoilers for the Chapter, Support the Official Release

We're getting a Wano cover story now too, starting with Onigashima sent underwater (ok but how like it's massive!) atop Old Wano

I wonder what it'll focus on particularly? Yamato? Momo? Tama? Kaido and Big Mom statuses? Drake and Hawkins statuses?

Vegapunk's message however is a bit of a tease because of course it is

Shaka chimes in to mention how such a message will likely be blocked and intercepted, so they discuss piggybacking off of the Navy's comms

Thus, the Navy are unable to stop the transmission, as it spreads across everyone who has a Den Den Mushi

Vegapunk though also wants to provide time for people to set up the Visual snails for a picture, which'd take time for them to set up

Vegapunk gives people an hour, but Shaka advises against that since there will be those looking to censor them, so it's reduced to 10 minutes

Luffy and the crew are aware of this broadcast as well, they are curious about it though

Sanji just take a pulse and give it up

The Gorosei can still converse with Saturn all the way from Marejois!? Is it some telepathy maybe?

Saturn all but confirms that Vegapunk is dead, telling the others that Kizaru dealt a killing blow

But they are quick to realise that the message is as a result of a dead man's switch

Focus looks to turn onto the Labophase, despite being highly protected...nobody tell them that Kizaru can pass through the barrier

Pythagoras also chips in on the message for what they should do during the wait, since having a coffee may not be a good amount of time

The world is preparing for Vegapunk's message, including places we're familiar with

Dressrosa first; Kyros and Rebecca seemed to have been sparring

Leo is alive and well after his incident with Marejois, but true to the Tontatta he bought into the headlines that Luffy kidnapped Vegapunk

Foosha Village are also hearing about it, but they don't have a video screen, because iconic mayor Woop Slap don't have the money

Here's hoping they don't miss something important there, and that Makino is safe, the bar doesn't look damaged at least

The village already think this is gonna be Luffy slander anyway

At Water Seven it's late at night, so Iceberg is tired but amassing screens anyway, conducted mainly by Alice, the child assistant who is way past her own bedtime

But she does have Tyrannosaurus on her head so we'll give it a pass, she's in capable paws

Morgans also has the video up, with Vivi still worried about the crew

Morgans is quick to deduce that it's a pre-recorded message though, but expects that Egghead has already been wiped out

The other seas also prepare for Vegapunk's message, it must be kinda surreal for some of them since this is the first time they're seeing Vegapunk - plus there's 3 of them

Plus all 3 of the Vegapunks in the message are dead

The Revolutionaries also have the message, wondering what it's gonna be about

Dragon thinks back about Shaka's message though, and then continues to not do anything else

At the least there's a Sabo cameo there

Back to Luffy and he notes how Saturn and Kizaru keep coming back for more

He dodges an Eye Laser and a Poison leg, but he doesn't relinquish his hold

He's gonna keep fighting till his crew are safe

Gomu Gomu No Booming Dawn Cymbal squishes Admiral and Gorosei together

And with both flattened he continues the disrespect, spinning them like pizza dough

And then flinging them away like frisbees

Kizaru crashes into a warship, but Saturn pulls some boomerang action to come back at Luffy

Kizaru has had a headache just all day, serves him right too

Luffy avoids the poisonous buzzsaw return that Saturn poses, but the other Gorosei are intent to not let Vegapunk's message go out

Franky, Bonney, Kuma and Atlas make it to the Giants' ship, but still no word on Lucci vs Zoro, or how the Sunny intends to not crash into the barrier

Saturn agrees with his fellow Gorosei 'I shall perform the summoning'

Four cracks of black lightning strike Egghead

And now, there are Five.

Oh god oh jeez oh god oh jeez oh GOD oh jeez ALL THE GOROSEI ARE HERE.

I don't think Luffy can last a 5 on 1 of the Gorosei, Zoro stop dicking around with Lucci, Sanji you gotta drop the old man, Jinbe navigate Zoro and yourself to Luffy and someone else come for support (Robin is injured plus she would be a focus target so probably not her, Usopp? Nami? Brook? Chopper?), or maybe the Giants can back him up? Or the Sleeping Giant?

Things are heating up but now we have more situations to deal with; we can't leave the island too soon or else the Gorosei will stop the message, but if we linger then the Gorosei could do a lot of damage.

There's a break to deal with first of course, but god(a) we need some answers! And we need some things to wrap up, because we still don't have a solution for how those in the Labophase are gonna get out, also I hope Sentomaru got out, bit of a rough day for him; the man he was hired to protect died at the hands of his 'uncle', he betrayed the marines for the former and it was for naught, gotta feel bad for the guy.

We might be seeing all of the Gorosei's powers next chapter though, but it makes you wonder, if all five are here does that mean they won't be in the endgame?

#one piece #one piece spoilers #op spoilers #egghead island #egghead island arc #dr vegapunk #vegapunk shaka #vegapunk stella #vegapunk pythagoras #monkey d luffy #monkey d dragon #saint jay garcia saturn #nefertari vivi #big news morgans #kizaru #admiral kizaru #borsalino #gorosei #leo one piece #rebecca one piece #woop slap #vinsmoke sanji #iceberg one piece #sabo one piece

[sourhydrapplin]

Doorstep post;

Aka the pinned post. Hey, I'm Nayen. I'm returning to tumblr, we`ll see how long it lasts. I'm very slow, very low energy and I'm very traumatized from prior rp experiences, so please be patient and gentle with me.

This is my independant rp blog for BBA champion Kieran. Please read the rules and all information below. _________________________________

Muse | Headcanons | Relationships

Nayen | 27 | it/its pronouns only

Multiship, multiverse, chemistry only. Platonic ships welcome and encouraged! - Every ship will result in it's own verse unless discussed otherwise. -- Please make sure you say which Kieran you're referring to so I know which one to write.

None of the art here is mine unless claimed otherwise.

No drama, no badmouthing. I don't touch antiship/proship discourse either.

This is a hobby, not a job. Do not hound me for replies. Reminding me one every three days or so is fine. - I do not enjoy roleplays that only have like two lines per reply, but so long as you write more than that and give me something to work with, I truly do not care how long your reply is.

I will not ship Kieran with any muse over the age of 18. - Any attempt anyway will result in an immediate block.

We do not ship with pokemon at all, unless it's a legendary pokemon written in a similar role to a greek god (e.g. human form, intellect, ability to communicate and consent), and even then, it's pretty unlikely for this muse here specifically. - If you have a problem with that, that's okay, but please just block me and move on.

If you want me to unfollow for any reason, let me know privately, and I will do so without resistence. I would prefer to be following someone who welcomes me there.

In general if you have any issue with me, feel free to talk to me privately. Don't just listen to whatever someone else says about me. The rpc has a clique problem as is, let's not make it worse. I promise I don't bite.

I'm much friendlier than I sound like, I promise!

This post will be edited whenever I find it relevant to.

Thank you for reading. Love you all!

#Pinned; #Rules; #Important; #Psa; #Ooc;

[marawhydontyoudraw]

Morgott's magic headcanons (and why he's a warlock and not a cleric)

You may remember this old collage from my main blog. Anyway, today I'm here to elaborate on this a little more (I also start from the bottom up, because I can).

1. Magical walls, illusive or not. There're two types of magical walls I want to discuss here - barriers (on the picture) and illusory walls. In game, we can see barriers in: the sorcerers' rises, and Astel's cave in Ranni's questline (carian/liurnian magic) and Leyndell, road to the Rold lift and path to the Three fingers in the sewers (Morgott's magic); there're also Sellia and Ordina, but I believe they're their own business. Said barriers differ in color and insignia on them, but are essentially the same - a wall of solid light/energy blocking the way, nuff said. Illusory walls are more interesting for there are actually three situations in game in which they typically appear: near spirit-caller snails (irrelevant in our case), near sorcerers in Liurnia and Sellia and someone related to them like the Carians or Black knives and... apparently, in the Sealed tunnel in Altus. Which is far from any snails and sorcerers, located just under the Leyndell walls and leads to the Divine tower of Rykard, Morgott's main nemesis in the Shattering. And for some reason it seems to me that I know who exactly enchanted that tunnel (and the walls in the Frenzied Flame proscription).

2. Magical knives, so many of them. This is easier than the walls, mainly because the game straight up describes glintblades as unique carian magic (the only non-carian blade may be the Adula's blade... but no, although it's a cold sorcery mech-wise, lore-wise Adula is Ranni's knight). And Morgott is literally the only enemy in the game who uses similar kind of conjured blades without being a sorcerer/carian knight, former or current.

3. Shades and apparitions. It seems that there're two types of apparitions: "ghosty" ones and "fleshy" ones, "ghosty" type (on the picture) includes Loretta in Caria manor and Godfrey in pre-violation of fire safety regulations Leyndell, "fleshy" type includes Margit, Rennala's second phase, Fell twins bossfight and sewer Mohg (I know, I know, most people think he's a creation of the original Mohg, but I personally believe he's also Morgott's, since Morgott is the master illusionist of the family and Mohg is not known for illusions at all). "Ghosty" apparitions also seem to be weaker and dumber than "fleshy" ones: their abilities are just wear copies of the abilities of their originals, they don't speak, etc. So yeah, the creation of apparitions (both types, but especially "fleshy" ones) for protection is another specific feature shared by the Carians and Morgott.

There're many conclusions one can make from it, but I personally love to believe that certain someone experimented with recreating carian sorcery through the Golden order means and ended up with some marvelous abomination of sorcantations as the result. Someone, pls give Morgott that Classic Pointy Hat Of A Fromsoft Witch, he deserved it and has enough knives to make some holes in it for his horns.

I also have so many questions to Radagon because of all of this

#a fantasy game about a magic tree

[deltastorm101]

Alan Wake dies.

In this essay I will-

... actually try my hand at a relatively objective examination of and discussion about why Alan Wake 2 ending with Alan's death would, and would not, make sense. I even used proper capitalization for once to emphasize how serious I am /hj. This has been kickstarted by this post by @stuckinthedarkplace; lately I've been thinking a lot about how AW2 could possibly end, and I feel like this possibility should be talked about. So. Let's not pad this out any further.

Pro #1: Alan’s death would make for an excellent tragedy and/or further reinforce the concept of him dying a martyr if they make his death vital to defeat the antagonist for good (who- or whatever it might be). After a years-long torturous fight, the hero sacrifices himself in unwavering bravery to do one last thing for the greater good. A selfless act, ensuring that even if he can’t make it, his loved ones will. Something like that. Plus, I imagine the majority of us players would like to see him walk away from it all alive; taking this away from us might elicit a rather emotional response, which is what every storyteller wants, right?

Contra #1: All these aforementioned years might feel like they have been for nothing. The lengths Alan went to to fight, to persevere, to endure, to survive, for more than a decade – in vain, pointless. Remedy themselves have stated that Alan has “wished he had died many times” – but all this time he held on, not letting go of the fickle hope that he can come back, come home, to Alice, Barry, Sarah. Remedy making an effort to explain what Alan was up to, in Night Springs during the events of American Nightmare and during the setup and unfolding of AWE, and them securing all the rights to the IP for good back in 2019; Alan as a character seems a bit too big, too important to just kill.

Pro #2: Him dying would leave few loose ends. Alice has lived under the presumption that he died for a few years anyway, probably until Mr. Scratch showed up at her doorstep at least, but if we assume that he’ll be taken care of over the course of the game while Alan does not escape, then him biting the dust would be the next most logical option. Saga and Alex either finish their mission knowing they failed to take him in alive, or even be forced to abort it, maybe because of unforeseen complications or lack of results. Alan has been living in hell for so long, by dying he’d finally escape it. It would be over, and if other characters could be made aware of his definitive passing maybe they too could move on, find peace, be done with the nightmare.

Contra #2: Alan is Sam Lake’s baby. Would he really kill him off for good? I certainly don’t think it’s beyond him, at this point I think he could write anything and it would somehow fit, but... Alan is Sam’s baby. Sam has been fighting to bring him back for this entire time. Somehow I have my doubts he’d throw that away, throw him away. (cf. Contra #1.)

Pro #3: Alan has killed Casey in The Sudden Stop. If Sam killed Alan, his story would directly mirror Alan’s and Casey’s; this would add another excellent meta layer on top. Kill your darlings or something. Let’s hope Sam doesn’t get writer’s block and plan to travel to some cabin on a lake anytime soon.

Contra #3: It might feel cheap and unimaginative. It’s an ancient trope, almost older than It-Was-All-Just-A-Dream. Can’t figure out an ending? Don’t know where to take the story next? Looking for a straightforward way out? Kill the protagonist. Better yet, just kill everyone. Boom, job done. I’m exaggerating of course, but I speak from experience. Don’t look for my old fics.

Pro #4: The story of AW1 was, at its heart, about the creative process and a lot of the feelings and mental mechanisms behind it. Stories end, lives end. Death feels final. Inevitable. A dead writer at the end of the story... there’s a ring to it. (contradicts Contra #3.)

Contra #4: Remedy would make it harder for themselves to expand further on their connected universe, which they have said was their goal for the next project(s). At this point I imagine AW is a very precious asset for them. Granted, I’m sure they’d always find a way to expand anyway, this is Sam Lake we’re talking about but... I still doubt that it would feel quite right. I mean, hell, they used to call AW2 “project big fish”. That’s gotta count for something, right?

So. Which side are you on?

#i tried to keep this as neutral as possible but it’s probably not hard to guess my side #i want you to know that i called this file ''alan ded ye or no'' #it's also shorter than i had thought. hm. happens #do you have more points for or against? throw them at me i wanna know. this is a masterlist #alan wake #alan wake 2 #remedy games #remedy connected universe #games #ok now back to thinking about the hellish group project

[aromantic-misguide-to-romance]

A Short Guide to Tumblr Culture

If you've set up your account already, for example following this guide, it's also good to know how people use Tumblr.

tags - tagging is great to get your post seen and also great to keep some kind of order in your reblogs, but many people use tags to add an usually appreciative commentary, so the tag section can get... chatty. The commentary is usually meant for your followers and the OP.

do NOT censor words, especially not in tags. NEVER do anything like "#tw sp*ders" in tags - you'll effectively reach people who try to avoid and block this trigger. Name things properly. And also remember to disable iOS app censorship in your settings in browser if you're on iOS.

usually you don't add any captions to reblogs until you have something relevant to add or want to discuss as reblogging often results in a conversation. Starting a conversation on any creative post like fic or art is not very polite.

the comment option is barely used. Many people won't even respond to a comment if the original post was on their side blog (side blogs can't comment), and comments are generally for the OP as no one really checks the comments on someone else's post. You can definitely comment under artworks though! The writer/artist will appreciate every nice word!

you can follow reblog dominated blogs if your taste in posts/art/fandoms match and reblog from them. You'll have a daily dose of nice stuff on a silver platter and no one will really mind.

time doesn't exist on Tumblr. Unearth and reblog that fossiled post if you like it! Others might appreciate your archeological discovery.

you'll generally see plenty of old posts/reblog convos making rounds - heritage posts are a thing! (ex. high geologist thread) They're old, have a load of notes and get back on your dash periodically.

spam liking/reblogging is not a thing. Spam people with appreciation if you binge the blog! Waking up to 99+ notifs because someone loved every single post I made in last 3 years is awesome. If someone doesn't like it, they just state it in their bio or something but I suspect those are migrants from other platforms.

if you're still worried, there's a thing called queue. You can set your posts/reblogs to get auto posted at an interval when you add them to queue in the reblog screen. The interval is yours to decide.

you might see a destiel meme with "I love you" and a reply that summarises some recent real world news. That's how we pass important information around.

if you see a shortened post "Do you like the color of the sky", don't extend it. If it's the original post, it's long. To the point you'll keep scrolling for 84 years and we're traumatised already. And if it's not, it's a meme that references our collective trauma so not aimed at you anyway.

Tumblr is the source of the fandom of Goncharov, the greatest mafia movie ever made. Shenanigans and running jokes like that might happen, if they annoy you, block the tags/words! If you find them delightful, jump into it!

if you post a thing that's not SFW, use community labels. In case of fics, people use Read More option too and often tag it as smut. This tradition is truly worth continuing.

if you're wondering if you can post stuff that isn't very SFW is allowed on Tumblr, text posts are usually fine. Images, despite the rules having gotten a bit less strict, might be flagged more or less randomly and it takes ages to appeal it and no one really knows the rules, probably not even Tumblr staff because all the information is... vague. But appeal it. Who knows.

about Read More option - aside from covering smut, it's often used as means to hide a part of the post that might be upsetting or triggering. It's good manners to make sure that the reader is informed what they're about to encounter and put that Read More in the post.

report spam tagging. It's in your interest not to have your tag feed littered with spam. Tumblr culture is being very passionate about tags remaining relevant.

report and block sexygirlbots. Letting them follow you or spam tags will only result in a bot siege and nothing else since we don't have public stats here.

also XKit (currently XKit Rewritten) is a very popular browser plug-in that adds even more useful features like shuffling your queue or customised timestamps. Scripts that alter the layout are also popular since Tumblr is generally a mess, we just learnt to reshape the interface.

Tumblr is still relatively anonymous. People don't put their selfie, location and name in their profile... bots on the other hand do. And we block bots on sight.

speaking of anonymity, the checkmarks you see sometimes mean nothing. They're a meme. There are no "verified" Tumblrs but you might actually see Neil Gaiman here.

last but not least, if you're confused about reblogging vs reposting, reposting is a no-no. Do not download someone's work to post it as an original post. Reblogging is one of the basic Tumblr feature and is good. It doesn't take anything from the OP, the reblog links to their blog and the OP gets all the notes on the post and its reblogs. The reblogger gets those notes too, but only for their own reblog. So basically, two people get notes for the reblog. That's very nice.

#Tumblr #Twitter #Reddit

[onlyappetites]

18  +  .  indie  .   mutuals  only  𝐃𝐔𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐕𝐀𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄 of  𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 led  by  𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐑

Highly  selective  !  Please  be  warned  that  sometimes  there  are  intense  themes  present  ! 

formerly est . March 2020 . re-est. March 5th 2024

𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆  : the  old  west  ,   gangs  ,  exposing  true  natures  ,  philosophy , mental decline & unravelling

#𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒

𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 :  @silvertonguesilverdollar , @tossedcoin

other blogs: @moralpuppet , @ursadolls , @funbonded

formerly: @vanderking

carrd . promo . playlist * dash rules below

𝐃𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒

/ please read my carrd  for more information/muse bio

𝐎𝐍𝐄 FIRST AND FOREMOST.  Dutch has a skewed world view and questionable morals and has done terrible things . Mun is not muse I do not condone his actions or beliefs . I am mostly a Red Dead 2 RP blog with some Red Dead 1 verses though these are only to pinpoint pieces of that story or developing headcannons and ideas further. I am critical of Dutch and critical of both games and creators .

I may explore a headcannon for Dutch's mental health . Lets make this clear Dutch's diagnosis does not correlate with his violent actions, that is in no way what I am implying or will ever imply . His violence is the result of the violent nature of the situations he finds himself in and by no means is a result of his diagnosis . His stress levels get exasperated by stressers he encounters that is very different from being the cause of violence .

If I ever offend in anyway then please don't hesitate to communicate . I don't always get things right but I will always try to be the best I can be.

𝐓𝐖𝐎  DNI / I don't engage with people who are problematic or present problematic behaviour such as proshipping/pedophilia/incest or you are a terf/ableist/racist/antisemitist or you show any kind of hate to anyone like that . If you see me interacting with someone problematic likely I haven't been informed yet and shall deal with it accordingly as soon as I am informed. I don't support anyone who does any of that nasty behavior and I never will and if you know you engage in such behaviors then please refrain from interacting with me. You're not welcome. Likewise don't bring drama onto my blog. If you see someone problematic here just message me privately. I won't be reblogging callouts.

𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄  FOLLOWING. I'm selective. If I haven't followed back please don't take it personally. If we are mutuals and you decide to unfollow then soft block please otherwise I will see you on my Dash and still think we are mutuals and I don't really want to have to browse a list of followers to check every time I go to interact.

𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 VARIANTS. I don't mind variants or to word it better people who play the same character as me !

𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 TRIGGER Warnings for you: This blog can be very gorey I also require you to be 18+ for this reason. Please do not follow if you're a minor. gore , death , cannibalism in some verses , gang and gun violence .

𝐒𝐈𝐗 SHIPPING . I multiship which means ships don't exist in the same verse here  I won't rp  smut. No. You'll get blocked. Suggestive is fine ! I won't under any circumstances ship Vandermorgan or Vandermarston so don't ask me to . Otherwise I only ship chemistry ! If in doubt ask . 

NOTE ON AFFILIATIONS: the concept to me means that if you’re affiliated with my muse and mine is affiliated with yours that means I consider your portrayal my main and will most likely consider our cannons intertwined. I do not do exclusives as I understand everyone’s portrayals are unique and I am happy to see my friends interact with people who play the same muse/s as me and vice versa!

Likewise if you want to be affiliated and these terms don't suit you , please don't hesitate to speak to me I'm open to discussion always !

#𓃭 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 / 𝐨𝐨𝐜 .★

[cascadeofsouls]

Pinned.;

Independent multimuse and multifandom rp blog portrayed by the entity known as Nayen. (of @exnusquam , @sourhydrapplin and @manywcrlds fame)

I'm 27, use it/its pronouns exclusively, and live in Germany, which means my online times are harshly different from most of the 'Muricans here.

This blog doesn't host any pokemon muses, but is still welcoming other people with pokemon muses here for crossover/AU interactions!

MUSES | MUN | OTHER BLOGS

Read all rules underneath. I'll know if you haven't.

Multiship, multiverse, chemistry only. Platonic ships welcome and encouraged! - Every ship will result in it's own verse unless discussed otherwise. -- Please make sure you say which muse you're referring to so I know which one to write.

None of the art here is mine unless claimed otherwise.

No drama, no badmouthing. I don't touch antiship/proship discourse either.

This is a hobby, not a job. Do not hound me for replies. Reminding me one every three days or so is fine. - I do not enjoy roleplays that only have like two lines per reply, but so long as you write more than that and give me something to work with, I truly do not care how long your reply is.

I will not ship any minor muses with any muse over the age of 18 and vise versa. - Any attempt anyway will result in an immediate block.

We do not ship with pokemon at all, unless it's a legendary pokemon written in a similar role to a greek god (e.g. human form, intellect, ability to communicate and consent). - If you have a problem with that, that's okay, but please just block me and move on

I am willing to roleplay s/mu/t rp, but only with people I trust and have interacted with extensively, and only based on chemistry. I prefer doing nsfw rp on discord, but can also do it here if tagged appropriately and under a read more. - Discord is only given out to people whom I trust and have interacted with extensively oocly on tumblr IMs and otherwise.

If you want me to unfollow for any reason, let me know privately, and I will do so without resistence. I would prefer to be following someone who welcomes me there.

In general if you have any issue with me, feel free to talk to me privately. Don't just listen to whatever someone else says about me. The rpc has a clique problem as is, let's not make it worse. I promise I don't bite.

I ask you not to softblock me and instead just hardblock me. It makes things a lot easier for both of us.

I'm much friendlier than I sound like, I promise!

This post will be edited whenever I find it relevant to.

Thank you for reading. Love you all!

[sasquapossum]

In most professions and fields of study, people who have direct experience are more qualified to offer opinions than those who do not. However, there are exceptions. One such exception is people who work in prisons and jails, or in adjacent fields. Prosecutors, "friends of the court", corrections officers, parole officers, etc. are all part of a system that at the very least desensitizes them to systemic problems; often it actively indoctrinates them and/or forces them to perpetuate the problem. While there are good people who are trying to change the system for the better, those at odds with the punitive and even abusive zeitgeist tend not to last long. If they're not forced out (sometimes violently), they burn out and leave on their own. The system as a whole remains thoroughly dominated by people whose sociopathic tendencies rival and too often surpass those of the inmates.

I got into a discussion about prisoner abuse on another site recently. My interlocutor, who claimed to be studying criminal psychology, trotted out the old "if you're guilty of a crime then too bad" line and claimed that most criminals had intractable psychiatric problems. Others had already pointed out that many in prison were not in fact guilty of any crime, or were only guilty only of crimes for which being in prison at all was already very disproportionate, so I didn't bother with that. I tried to make a few different points.

The idea of prisons as places of punishment rather than rehabilitation is very old-fashioned ("19th century" was the term I used). Most civilized countries had explicitly changed that focus long ago, so even if punishment was "right" it would still be against official policy.

Punitive policies and abuse make criminals worse and make career criminals out of people who might have reformed or were innocent all along. Specifically, countries that focus on rehabilitation get better outcomes. So, again, even if punishment is "right" the practical results still make it bad policy.

"Rehabilitation doesn't work" is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you fill the system with people who have that attitude, of course you get bad results. I got some pushback on the specific phrase "self-fulfilling prophecy" not being scientific, but anyone who has ever studied science could translate that as "contaminating the data" and recognize it as a bad thing.

Abuse specifically is forbidden or condemned by the constitution ("cruel and unusual punishment"), by international humanitarian law, by many lower level laws/policies, by the Bible/Torah, etc.

Anyone who does not recognize these facts is unqualified to be working in "corrections" (a name which supports the idea of rehabilitation instead of punishment but has become a cruel joke) or any related field.

Of course these points had no effect on the person they were addressed to, who I have blocked and is of no consequence anyway. The important thing is that these points are all provable. The historical/legal points are easy to look up. The science of rehabilitation vs. punishment is less so. Therefore, if anyone else should ever find themselves in a similar discussion, here are some resources. Let's start with the damage that punishment and abuse do to those imprisoned.

In general, prisonpolicy.org seems like an excellent source of information on all issues related to prisons, but the resources related to this particular issue are a bit buried. On the effectiveness of rehabilitation:

In short: prisons should not be places of punishment. Removal from friend/family support systems and job markets already has enough negative practical effects, which should be mitigated and not exacerbated by further punishment. Punitive imprisonment is not only ethically but also practically negative. Abuse is a crime in its own right, and perpetrators should be put in their own prisons. It's really tempting to say that they should be given their own medicine, but I'll refrain.

Defund the prisons.

#politics #us politics #prison #prison abuse #criminology #long post

[sea-side-scribbles]

Solas wakes up in the strange new world of his own making and it terrifies him. Frail and confused, he has to learn everything from scratch again. The more he learns, the more the world looks like a nightmare.

When he joins the Inquisition, he figures he's still not strong enough to withstand everything this world throws at him.

In the end, he made too many promises and he can't keep them all.

But who said the Din'anshiral would be easy?

___________________________                                                       

Part 1 | Chapter 1- ? | Right after uthenera, Solas is found by a Dalish clan. This goes well until it doesn't.

(Basically my excuse for world building and hilarious misunderstandings.)

Chapter 13

As the days went by, Solas couldn't help but feel like he reached another dead end. Now after discovering the wonders of “magic”, he only swapped hunting, crafting and cooking for Keeper training. His “magic” stayed stubborn, especially since the tingle grew quieter every day. Every effort to stir the veil only resulted in the Keepers calming it down again. The only achievement so far were the reading hours with Temalas and Leaman. They took turns teaching him what they called “the ancient language” and he took it all in to decipher what he called “tuast'elvhen'av”.

What annoyed him to no end was that the Dalish weren't willing to learn anything from him in return. A long, exhausting discussion with Leaman about spirits ended with her calling him teldirthalelan and telling him if he'd ever summon a demon again, she'd happily let it end him.

Also, he was fed up with them describing the veil as an unpassable barrier. Any suggestions to think otherwise were rejected more fiercely than his questions about demons.

He felt compelled to remove all their vallaslin as soon as he could without explanation. To just get it over with. They wouldn't see reason anyway. But this moment was still far away.

Keeper Avishalan acted most patiently with him, but supposedly only because she believed he'd see glory in the creators one day, as all the good Dalish did. Her year-long experience told her so and Solas couldn't stand that either. That and the illegible face she gave him. And the fact that Sylaise had told her something about him, so it was just a matter of time until she'd understand the meaning. It was an understatement to say that he was nervous around her.

One thought became stronger over time. A chance to quicken his recovery. However, it was a great risk and perhaps not worth taking. But he knew he shouldn't underestimate this clan's work. Their life seemed primitive with only a minor influence on the world around them, but their connection to the Evanuris remained a fact to consider. As faint as it was, it worked.

The thought took roots in his head until it shaped his dreams, blocking every other realm in the beyond. That was when he decided to act.

He knew the Keepers' routine now, he knew when he had enough time to sneak away while he was supposed to sleep in his aravel. For good measure, he crumpled his blanket to make it look like he was sleeping curled up under it. Then he went out into the cold, silent night. He knew the way. And the accident with Miadahl had taught him to use his eyes and ears properly. They were his only working senses here.

Soon, he vanished behind the trees and followed the narrow path the Dalish had created in their routine. For once, he was thankful for their rituals. Keeping his distance to eventual worshippers, he quietly skittered from tree to tree. Days ago, this path had felt endless, now he was much lighter on his feet. A few minutes and this would be over, he told himself.

Near the end of the path, he knelt behind a tree to examine the place. There was only emptiness and silence. The eerie sensation he had learned to tolerate. Carefully, he approached the statue, as if it knew what he was about to do. Could it know? Would it even allow it? His chances were low, he was certain. But otherwise he'd never find out and his dreams would be haunted forever.

He extended a hand, but then thought twice. Picking up a branch instead, he used it to poke the statue. Nothing happened. Slowly, he walked around it, until he looked into the wolf's gaping maw. It's stone eyes stared at him, indifferently. Poking it again, he noticed a problem. This statue felt sturdy while he was reduced to his bodily strength. He possibly took all that risk for nothing. The realization spread in him, turned into heat that pulsed through his body, making his blood boil. For salvation, he rammed his foot against a tree - and immediately regretted it.

For a moment, nothing happened but Solas gritting his teeth. No sound escaped him. Then he turned to the statue. Lost all caution and threw himself against it, using both hands, pushing it with all his lacking body weight, burying his feet into the dirt. His throbbing toes didn't help. After an eternity of torture, he had the wolf eye the opposite direction as he knelt behind it, panting and sweating, feeling way too filthy for his taste. Otherwise, he felt nothing.

He squinted at the camp, listening closely. Nothing. Wiping sweat off his forehead, he waited for a sign. Still nothing.

So that was it then? All his efforts in vain? He did have to turn the statue back, didn't he? He couldn't leave it like this. The Dalish would find it and lose their minds. He couldn't wait here either. They would notice he was gone and eventually find him. And he needed to go back. He had wasted so much time.

Cursing blasphemously, he fought again, the unholy stone being even heavier than before. It's gaping maw now seemed to laugh at him. When it was just about standing at the right spot, he noticed he had to hide his traces as well. Hide the obvious mess he made. Frantically, he threw the dirt around. Now, it looked as if a boar had wallowed on the ground right behind the Dread Wolf. Solas grimaced at the result. Maybe the rain would wash this out? Running out of time, he fled the scene, or rather hobbled away, glad he had the trees for support.

Back in the camp, he saw the Keepers looking around and whispering to each other. Inwardly cursing himself, he leaned against a tree to consider his next steps, but Temalas caught him there. He approached with furious steps. “Where have you been?” “I just...went for a walk...”, Solas gasped, forcing an innocent smile. “I...couldn't...sleep.” “Why? Demons again?” The First's expression was inches away from sympathy, but Solas wouldn't let him blame it on spirits. “No...Just too many thoughts in my head right now...” Sadly, Temalas' attention then went to the path behind him. “Did you go into the forest?” His voice pitched dangerously. “Er...not far...” “Are you trying to kill yourself?”, he flared up. “You're unguided and without weapons!” “I was careful.”

Leaman who had overheard their conversation came into view, rolling her eyes. “Felasil...”, she sighed once more. “If you must insult me, at least use a word I understand”, Solas snapped at her. He was so done with these ignorant Dalish! And he had to endure them even longer since the statue was a failure. “I'm sure you understood this one.” “Oh, really? Now you think I'm able to learn? Would you make up your mind please?” But Temalas, instead of interrupting their quarrel, went right into the woods. Solas' heart almost stopped. He would see it. He would know.

“Temalas, where are you going?” Now even Leaman went after him. Keeper Avishalan arrived in time to take her place in front of Solas. “Went for an early morning walk, Revanas?” Again that unreadable face. “You sure know how to keep us busy.” Solas said as calm as he could, with a trace of disappointment: “You didn't tell me I'm not allowed to leave. I guess it was something else I had to find out on my own?” “You're allowed to go wherever you like in the camp. It's just that we don't expect people to go for a stroll in the woods without protection. You were lucky to make it back.” “It was a short walk, close to camp.” “One might assume so. I don't take you for the careless type.” “...I suppose that is a compliment.” Her smile was only lopsided. “Although, one might wonder what could make you take the risk.” Solas was sweating, but not because of exhaustion. “A golden halla perhaps?” She huffed. “That would be typically Dalish.” She glanced into the direction of the path. “Huh, whatever my apprentices will find there, we better wait for it back in the tent, shall we?”

They went back and Avishalan made it clear she wanted him to wait in his aravel. There, he sat cross-legged, pretending to read a book and praying to the highest sky for Temalas and Leaman to miss the signs. After a painful eternity, he heard voices emerge from outside. The apprentices spoke to Avishalan, quickly and urgently. Solas was wondering whether or not it would be a good idea to leave when Avishalan grabbed her staff. For a second, he sensed her magic behind his ear. Then he heard wood crack and splinter and fabric tear as roots burst into the aravel, too quickly for him to dodge. They wrapped around his limbs and pinned him against the wall. Then all three Keepers approached the makeshift prison.

Temalas fumed the most. Leaman instead was pale, with her eyes red and looking like she'd end him herself. Avishalan, as always, had no expression. She let Temalas speak. “You brought the gaze of the Dread Wolf upon us! Do you mean to kill us all?” His voice boomed through the aravel. Solas concluded denial would be no use. But in fact, they had nothing against him. “Temalas, think!”, he urged him. “It's just a statue! A symbol! Not the Dread Wolf himself!” “So you admit you moved it!” Temalas triumphed, pointing at him. “Thank you, this makes this easier!”

“Makes what easier? Look around, nothing happened!” “Oh, don't you sound disappointed!” He turned to Avishalan. “Keeper, this is simple. We have to leave this place immediately. He cursed it, perhaps even cursed the whole clan.” “Do you sense any curses?”, Solas interrupted him. “Will you shut up already?”, Leaman flared up. “We gave you everything! And you...” Solas took a deep breath. “I merely moved a stone. I could've moved any other stone in this forest, it wouldn't have made a difference.”

Leaman silenced with her mouth open and Temalas pointed at Solas again, giving Avishalan a look. “I demand to know why”, the Keeper finally spoke. “Why did you turn this stone and not another?” Solas still pondered his answer when Temalas guessed: “Because a demon told you so?” Solas gave him a look, tilting his head. “Alright.” The First planted himself in front of him. “Tell us then. You mean to kill us at your own free will.” “You don't look dead to me.” “It could happen any moment and you know that. And you're avoiding the question. Are you afraid to tell us the truth?”

“I don't know that”, he insisted. “Listen to yourself! You're afraid of a stone! Don't you notice it has nothing on you? It's only a superstition!” The room went cold. “I can't believe this....” Now Temalas staggered. “Nobody can be so stupid...” “Did you ever encounter the Dread Wolf?” Solas couldn't believe they never questioned it. “He's not strolling around and saying 'hello' like that, shaking your hand with his paw! Haven't we been clear about him? About how malicious and unpredictable he is? You cursed us! It will happen! Perhaps not today or tomorrow, the Dread Wolf likes to toy with his prey. He'll be in the shadows. A curse, a disease, a shemlen raid...Keeper, we need to tell the others.” She gave him a nod. To both apprentices, she said: “Yes. Please, go arrange it.”

When they left, her mysterious expression stared Solas down. “You endangered all of us just to prove your foolish point. You may think you succeeded, but you are mistaken. If you needed evidence for the Dread Wolf's existence, you should've asked me.” Solas squinted his eyes, now regretting that he indeed never asked. “What evidence do you have?” “I'm afraid now is not the time for tales anymore. There's nothing left I can do for you. May the creators have mercy on your soul.” She turned to leave. “Keeper!” The call left him before he could stop himself. She turned around, lifting an eyebrow. He meant to tell her the truth. But what would that change? If she believed him, she'd probably end him right there. Sylaise be blessed. And if not, she'd believe he was insane and perhaps end him for that. “Pray”, she said before she left for good. He huffed. Such optimism! But indeed, his only chance lay in the beyond, so he closed his eyes.

Without the obnoxious recurring dream, the beyond opened to him again. He floated though it quickly, crossing realms of familiar places. Shards of ice followed where he went, distorting his vision. But he resisted, searching, making his way until splinters came back together and walls gave in to his touch. A distant sensation grew, it's noise swelled. Suddenly, he heard a calling. A heavy, aching heart. A lonely, glowing moon in a starless night. The loss. It sang to him and he sang with it. Wings spread, burning like fire. Little sparks on the tips became stars. He sensed the heat. Two minds connected. Two foreheads touching each other.

Solas' eyes shot up. His heart pounded in his chest. He found him.

He felt him when he stumbled out of the aravel with his hands bound by roots. He felt him when he knelt between the apprentices at the gathering. He barely listened to their discussion. When he was told to speak, he said merely one word, with his eyes closed and lips curled in bliss: “Falon.”

When Temalas heard him, it was already too late. The galloping of giant paws came from the forest. All heads turned to see a dark-furred monster the size of a dragon dash into their direction. Cries emerged, hunters drew their weapons, parents fled with their children. The gathering had dissolved when the creature took a leap and crashed into the ground directly in front of Revanas. Temalas got lost in the many eyes of the creature. His hand cramped around his staff. The monster seemed to focus only on Revanas. So the Dread Wolf knew fairness after all!

He didn't notice that he laughed madly, tears welling in his eyes. He drew his staff one last time, one last attempt to save this fool from himself. But it happened too quickly. The wolf took Revanas between it's teeth, hauled him on it's back and ran away, spreading it's wings. When it took off into the sky, he knew it was over.

Notes:

“tuast'elvhen'av”: new Elvhen tongue “teldirthalelan”: stupid person, one who will not learn “felasil”: idiot, slow mind “falon”: friend, guide

#dragon age #dragon age inquisition #dragon age fanfiction #solas/dorian #dragon age solas #dragon age dorian #maker preserve #dalish elves

[waheelawhisperer]

I've found the best RWBY fans to interact with are the ones who like the show but still acknowledge its flaws.

Like, so much of the FNDM seems to have this "All or Nothing" mentality where you either unconditionally love and praise everything Rooster Teeth does or base your entire personality around hating everything Rooster Teeth has so much as breathed on, and honestly both extremes are horribly unhealthy.

I mostly agree with this, though I feel like it's worth pointing out that a lot of the "unconditional love" fans are really just fed up with the years' worth of negativity on the part of people who make hating the show their entire identity. I think it stems from the YouTubers, to be honest. For a lot of them, producing content is an actual job. While I don't personally care for that content and have no interest in watching any RWBY YouTuber, I can't dunk on any of them too hard because they actually get paid to do this and I'm well aware that there's a certain price for which my personal integrity is for sale: if it meant I would never have to sacrifice my physical and mental health working 40-60 hours a week ever again, if it meant I'd have time for myself and the people I care about, if it meant I could devote myself to the things I love or use my hypothetical wealth to make the world around me better... yeah, I'd absolutely base my brand around hating a show and appealing to shitheads, as long as I'm not expected to start shoving people down the alt-right pipeline. I like to think there's somewhere I'd draw the line, that there are things I wouldn't do for money, but the thought of not being fucking miserable and in physical pain at almost all times is really tempting.

Anyway, the point is that for at least some of these people, hating on RWBY is an actual job, as stupid as it sounds. It puts food on the table, which means they have a vested interest in building their brand, which means promoting their content and getting it exposure, which in turn means that avoiding negativity can take actual effort and isn't always as simple as just blocking people you don't like if you want to participate in fandom spaces that aren't total echo chambers. I don't know how blocking works on reddit because I mostly use my reddit account to look at pictures of breasts, but what I do know is that even going to the main RWBY subreddit to do something like read the reaction thread to a new Ice Queendom episode runs a not-insignificant risk of at least passively exposing me to the newest stupid take to escape quarantine in r/rwbycritics. As a result, there's a subset of the audience that feeds itself by whipping up negativity, by targeting emotional responses, that can be pretty hard to escape. I don't blame people who just don't want to deal with it anymore for responding defensively, though I'll concede that it can make having nuanced discussion... difficult.

This is not to say that everyone who is critical of RWBY is exactly the same. What most people think of when they talk about the critical side of the community contains people with anything from the relatively uncontroversial belief that the Battle of Haven was poorly choreographed or that some of the early voice acting wasn't very good to people with spicy hot takes like "Team RWBY are the real villains" and "Blake abused Adam and ruined his life". I guess I'm technically a critic, given that I post about things I like about RWBY, things I dislike, things I think worked well and things I think didn't, and then try to support and explain my views, but I don't really like thinking of myself that way because I don't want to be lumped in with the more extreme elements of either RWDE or rwbycritics. It's why I use the "analysis" tag instead of "rwde" (well, that and I think using "rwde" inherently sets a more hostile tone than I'm going for in a lot of cases).

I do think it's funny that RWDE and rwbycritics frequently come at the show from completely opposite directions (think "I'm worried that Rooster Teeth is using Bumbleby to string queer viewers along with the promise of representation without ever delivering on it" vs. "Rooster Teeth defiled Monty's memory* by making his action show political (read: gay)" and think the possibility for friendly fire between the two is hilarious. My solution is simple:

So yeah, the critics ("critics") definitely annoy me more than the people who are just relentlessly positive (though this may be because I've never personally experienced the harassment that each group supposedly directs at the other) given that most of the people who like the show at least engage with the text in good faith, while certain critics... do not. There are definitely a couple RWDE blogs that I think are reasonable, and even r/rwbycritics will inadvertently generate something resembling a coherent thought every once in a while, but I don't particularly care to engage with that community beyond browsing it once in a while out of curiosity because the good isn't worth wading through the garbage. RWDE is better in the sense that content is associated with specific blogs rather than threads posted to a subreddit, meaning that if someone posts nothing but stupid takes you don't want to interact with, you can just block them.

As for Rooster Teeth the company, I'm not an expert on its history by any means, but I know they've had issues with crunch in the past, I'm aware of the drama after Monty's death, and I know their brand was built on dudebro humor, so like... I'm sure there's been plenty to criticize in the past and is still plenty to criticize now, but I don't really care about Rooster Teeth beyond the fact that it produces RWBY and don't watch any of the studio's non-RWBY-related content. There's really not much I can give anyone here. Other people are a lot more invested in the company one way or another than I am.

*I really hate the "Monty's vision" argument. Nothing proves a point like dragging a dead man's name into your argument so you can pretend you knew what he wanted better than the people who actually knew and worked with him. Just utterly classless.

#rwby #analysis

[brightgnosis]

🔥 and 🌵

Unpopular opinion: (from here)

The culture of "blocking with impunity" every time you see something you don't like or don't vibe with, or outright disagree with, find "cringe" or "disgusting", upsets your "moral sensibilities" or whatever- and generally, as a result, refusing to engage in a complicated, complex, multifaceted, and imperfect world? Has created a culture of Echo Chambers that's directly related to the rise of Purity Culture and Leftism as a political movement of "performing right words", rather than legitimately being a better, well intentioned (even if imperfect) Human Being.

You can't just wholesale cut yourself off from everything that doesn't suit you in every capacity, turn away from difference, refuse to engage, and stifle all discourse or discussion. That way literally lies Fascism- and it's really no wonder why so much Leftism is starting to resemble Liberal Fascism these days as a result. But these are also the same people who refuse to even acknowledge that Liberal Fascism is 100% a thing anyways and call you "a Reactionary" for actually being concerned about this kind of legitimately dangerous slope, so 🤷‍♀️

🌵 Do you grow any indoor or tropical plants? (from here)

Not personally, no. I'm not a fan of Tropicals, and the vast majority of typical indoor plants (which are usually Tropicals) just don't interest me. I don't like the way they look, either. I'd much rather have an outdoor garden for a variety of reasons, with more Temperate or Mediterranean plants; I also have a Gremlin of a Fur Child that tries to eat every plant I bring into the house anyways- usually including a broken vase or pot. So it's not worth it to try.

My Husband does have one Chinese Hibiscus (cv 'Social Butterfly') that we're struggling to keep alive through Winter right now, though, that's technically a Tropical; it overwintered just fine last year but this year it's not doing great and we just can't figure out why. I'm not convinced it's going to survive this year 😬

#lavendervillage #2024 #Answered Asks #2024 Asks #Ask Games #Gardening Ask Game #🔥

[trainsinanime]

Platform heights

There’s a lot of talk in german train twitter about a recent study that claims to show that Germany is way behind in railroad interoperability and keeps blocking european train connections. The study makes some valid points when it comes to train approval, some useful ones when it comes to ETCS, completely ignores infrastructure investment, and says complete bullshit about railroad electrification.

Specifically, it claims Germany is blocking things because it uses 15 kV 16.7 Hz AC instead of the standard of 25 kV 50 Hz AC. The problem with that is that 25 kV is by no means a standard; most countries that have it also have huge swathes of 1.5 or 3 kV DC. Also, 15 versus 25 kV is the simplest thing to get working together, to the point where you can’t actually buy a pure 15 kV or pure 25 kV locomotive anymore; all of them can do both these days, including several that officially support only one.

Anyway, the final point, and the one that’s gotten the most discussion, is platform heights. So let’s discuss that, and let’s do this with a specific example: The station of Düren. What height do you think the platforms there have, measured from the top of the rail?

It’s a trick question: This station has four different ones, specifically all the ones that are in widespread use in Germany.

Historically speaking, Europe has always had low platforms, nominally about 33 cm above top of rail. Düren's incredibly bleak platform 23 is one of the few remaining examples of this in the region that I can find. It’s only used by the local trains north to Jülich and Linnich.

To get into any train from that, you need to walk up steps. Here’s how a classic, now thankfully outdated train would do that:

You can see the staircase under the white doors (the final steps are hidden behind the door here). This train can be used with platforms as low as 33 cm, but you’ll have to climb a lot, which is annoying for most people, and completely inaccessible to persons with reduced mobility, e.g. wheelchair users, parents with push chairs, elderly people, people with lots of luggage, people with bicycles… On the plus side, it is cheap.

(Aside: 33 cm is also used by some low-floor tram train systems, which do offer level boarding there. That causes all sorts of fun issues, because officially those platforms shouldn’t be built anymore…)

This situation wasn’t and isn’t great, so we got several different ideas for fixing it. The first and simplest of them all: Make the platform about 20 cm higher (the standard is 55 cm), so you can get rid of the last step. The cool thing about this is that you can, these days, get trains that allow step-free access at this level. As a result, a lot of lines were rebuilt to this standard, some quite recently, including most of the local lines that go out from Düren. For the one heading south, platform 4A was built at that level.

55 cm is also a good number because it’s very close to the floor height of double-decker trains, so you can get step-free access to double-decker trains (provided you put the doors on the floor, of course) with that level.

On the other hand, if your goal isn’t to make local lines step free for cheap, but rather to get people into long-distance lines more comfortably, then you may want to, literally, go up another step and build platforms at 76 cm (again above top of rail). This gives you relatively comfortable access with just one or two steps into e.g. ICE trains, or into double-decker trains with doors on the intermediate level. It does not give you step-free access, though.

However! All the trains that can be built step-free at 55 cm can also be built step-free at 76 cm. For example, here’s the Bombardier Talent at 55 cm:

And here (a shorter one) at 76:

The difference is barely visible from the outside. On the higher one, the white door doesn’t go down as low, and the windows in the middle low-floor section are aligned with the top of the windows in the door, rather than the bottom. Both of these trains give you full step-free access at every door. (Though both of these don’t have gap fillers, sadly). The second type actually does come to our example station Düren once an hour.

These days you can also get double-decker trains that have step-free access to the lower level from 76 cm platforms. They do this by raising the floor, which has the downside that the upper level above the doors is rather cramped. Here’s an example in a Siemens Desiro HC, a type that also runs through Düren (though not this one in particular).

There are also now long-distance high speed trains that have entries at 76 cm level, in particular trains from Talgo (which DB recently bought some of) and the SBB Giruno. It seems that making them 55cm instead is currently not really possible, and it would mean adding lots and lots of internal ramps.

The majority of platforms at Düren are at 76 cm level, to serve double-decker trains and the one ICE per day that stops here.

But wait, that’s not all! The first place where the low platforms became a problem was with rapid transit systems, like S-Bahn networks, simply because climbing up the stairs slowed down boarding at each halt. As a result, many S-Bahn systems were designed around a platform height of about one meter above rail top (the modern standard is 960 mm). Some newer S-Bahn systems went with 76 cm instead. Some particular geniuses designed systems with 76 cm platforms but used 96 cm cars, going “eh that one step won’t be too bad”; those are all being refitted with 76 cm cars these days. But the S-Bahn Cologne (that is to say, the part of the S-Bahn Rhein-Ruhr that’s centred around Cologne) went the whole way, with 96 cm platforms and 96 cm trains. Oh, and Düren is the end point of one line of that network, so it has a 96 cm platform.

So, in short, it’s a mess, and it has brought us new words like “Bahnsteighöhenzielkonzept” (platform height target plan) to try and sort it all out. As long as trains stop at the right platforms, everything is fine, but as networks grow and connect, it becomes an issue.

For example, there is a newly reopened line from Düren to Euskirchen, the Bördebahn (I talked about that one before). It uses 55 cm trains, because that’s what the operator has already bought for their other lines, and thus all platforms there were built to 55 cm standards. Some aren’t finished yet but they will be by December. It’s all fine… except there aren’t enough 55 cm platforms in Düren. Platform 4A is used by other services already, so the Bördebahn starts from regular platform 4. It’s literally the same track, but the platform in that area is built to 76 cm standard (there are steps between the different parts), so to get into the train there, you have to step down. The train driver has a folding ramp, so wheelchair users can get in and out, but it’s annoying.

Moreover, there are plans to electrify that new line, and combine it with a different one, the Euregiobahn, which will also get electrified. Very interesting plan! The problem, though, is that while the Euregiobahn is a similar local service over reopened lines, it was built by a different local authority, and it uses 76 cm platforms and trains. So if you want to combine the two, then ideally, you’ll have to rip up all the recently built 55 cm platforms along the Bördebahn and replace them with 76 cm ones. Fun!

There is nonsense like that all over Germany. Not even just Germany, just all over the immediate region. A couple dozen kilometres down the line, we get to the line Neuss-Bedburg-Horrem, another typical regional line. It will get massive investment soon, and get integrated into the local S-Bahn network! The problem is, what height should the platforms be? The S-Bahn Cologne, managed by local authority NVR, uses 96 cm. The S-Bahn Rhein-Ruhr, managed by local authority VRS, used to have a mixture, with some platforms at 96 and some at 76, and they recently decided to standardise on 76 and rebuild the few that were 96 already. Those are not actually separate networks, several lines cross into both areas, but they’re managed by different people with different opinions, and so they get different platforms. The Neuss-Bedburg-Horrem line happens to pass through both areas, and the result is: The line will be split. 96cm Trains from Cologne travel to Bedburg, and there people can get into a 76cm train to Düsseldorf. Now, nobody will do that specifically, but if you live one station north of Bedburg and want to go south to Cologne, or one station south of Bedburg and want to go north to Düsseldorf, the line has just become considerably less useful.

The rough outline is that the east of Germany uses 55 cm almost exclusively; the west prefers 76 cm but uses 55 cm on more rural lines; and it’s basically all a bit of a mess.

The study that prompted all this was about international long-distance travel, and there it gets interesting. The claim of the study is that everyone in Europe has settled on 55cm, except for Germany. That’s just not true. Yes, many countries have, like Switzerland, Austria and France. But quite a few of our neighbours, like Belgium and the Netherlands, have gone with 76 cm as well.

Real talk, personal opinion stuff here: If I had to pick one standard, I’d probably pick 55 cm because of the use in France, Switzerland, Austria, and the better experience in double-deckers.

But it seems like the solution is not going to be to settle on one standard; it’s going to be trains that have doors at multiple levels, with ramps in between them. There are a number of those in service already, and I suspect this will get more. Even those aren’t a magic bullet forever, but they should make the whole thing manageable.

In conclusion: What height the platforms in your rail system have is largely irrelevant, as long as you keep them all the same. As a proud citizen of Aachen, the conclusion is obvious: Whatever you do, don’t be like Düren.

#trains #railroads #platform heights #railroading