#anyway. dean and gender and romantic orientation. not heavy topics at all.

[quietwingsinthesky]

something very tragic about looking at dean's relationships with most of the women he knows especially through an aro!dean lens because he so clearly wants deeper relationships with them but because he's dean and has Problems and A Role To Perform, he can only allow himself to have it through romantic attachments that he isn't even comfortable with.

#ack #he just wants trust and he wants security. and whenever he finds that he wants that with someone who is a lady #he automatically forces himself down this path :((( because that's how he's Supposed to interact with women #and then obviously whenever he gets close to men who aren't sam he gets scared that he's being too gay. because he has All The Problems #can't accept that he can just be emotionally intimate with the people around him without romantic love being involved... aahhhh #sam of course being the Exception because sam's his brother and exempt from all this. which is probably why he's happiest when its just him #and sam. (in canon.) it's less a matter of like 'he only cares about sam' and more #'caring about sam isn't complicated'. or well. it is. but that's Sam&Dean specific complicated. not a wider societal narrative complicated. #they have their own little world with its own issues. #actually dean is most stressed out when sam is bringing the outside world into theirs. jess. ruby. amelia. #they're proof to dean that sam is not immune to the wider world. that he might value a romantic relationship over the one he has with dean. #which he does not ever react to in a healthy way because he's dean. but v relatable to be upset by honestly. #anyway. dean and gender and romantic orientation. not heavy topics at all. #spn #aro!dean #dean winchester