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weeb-writings · 4 years

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alisa teaching lev incorrect russian phrases

a certain groupchat im in with so many beautiful people has brought this idea to my attention. most definitely something i canon abt the two siblings now, i totally see it.

special thanks to: @sarido275 for this idea!! i love this so much and i hope this meets your expectations-

warnings: swearing, a fight btwn siblings, also this is relatively long for a hc so brace yourself

genre: crack, fluff, angst? if you squint-

synopsis: lev’s (gorgeoues, beautiful, pretty, amazing, cute) sister, alisa, teaches lev russian phrases... except its all backwards...

i used a couple websites: a b

a/n: im writing a longer oneshot (haechan x reader) so this is something ive been working on, on the side. i hope you like whatever the frick frack this is-

if you have any requests, shoot them in my dms or ask box! if you have any constructive criticism, let me know what i can fix and how! thank you uwu

*breathes* okay, this is straight up crack, like

i literally see this happening btwn the two siblings, where lev’s sister alisa ends up teaching lev russian phrases with the incorrect translations

she’s such a sweetie pie i dont see her intentionally teaching lev the incorrect translations for stuff- so yes,

with the power of google and tumblr i present to you: lev walking around like an idiot :) (i love him v much tho and hes baby all the way)

okay lets start with the “basics”

first off is хуй (pronounced: hooy), and it means dick

omg i what am i writing

okay so like, yaku probably does something nice for alisa (meaning he puts lev in check bc lev is stoopid)

and alisa decides to thank him like “you have such a big hooy yaku~~”

and everyone on nekomas vbc team looks at the two siblings like ????? what did she just say

and lev looks at her and she goes “hooy means heart!!”

omfg not only lev, but all of nekoma is using this word now and its so bad bc they all say it so confidently whose gonna tell them-

and like, whenever someone does anything remotely nice lev will tell them that they “have such a big hooy” and that they are so kind and that he appreciates them

which ultimately, this term rubs off on karasuno and fukorodani (specifically hinata and bokuto)

quite literally a term that spreads like wildfire and they all use it so mindlessly eye-

okay, next term: Трахни тебя (pronounced: poshyol ty), and it means: fuck you (omg i hate writing swears bc lev is involved and he is BABY I CANNOT-)

okay but alisa and lev are most likely parting ways early in the morning, and he is going to a summer week camp for vb practice (w the boys ayyy) omg i hate myself so much

but like, she probably wants to say something along the lines of “i love you” but she ends up saying fuck you (dw, i checked and its the aggresive kind, no not the kinky aggresive just straight up like a screw you) pls i hate that im making this more awkward by the second

okay but like, hes probably leaving in the morning and shes like “poshyol ty” and he kind turns back, confused look on his face

and hes like “whats that mean????” and shes like, with a bright smile, “it means I LOVE YOU” and he repeats it a few times

and this poor bby uses this ALL the mcfreaking time now

yaku is abt to kick him? “pls stop poshyol ty”

kuroo wants to give him shit for sucking at blocking? “im sorry but dont forget poshyol ty”

omg KENMA WHEN HES MAD “kenma im so sorry youre the best pls poshyol ty”

so it probably circulates around the team, and by now all of the nekoma vbc are using this on one another ALL the time

again, its something picked up by other teams

i.e: bokuto to akaashi, hinata to kags, and it even reaches oikawa, who uses it on iwa, satori to ushijima (bye these r ships)

but finally, poor alisa thought that by saying Отыебис от меныа (pronounced: otyebis ot menya) she was saying “your presence is nice” but in reality she was saying “get the fuck away from me”

omg pls this is so terrible someone tell her-

but like anyways, when she says it so him, its when hes upset bc the whole team is upset at him bc he almost made the team lose

aka putting them at risk for his shitty blocking skills

and hes like “no one likes me, no one wants to be around me”

and alisa is like: “hey, otyebis ot menya, and if its from me, they even appreciate you too :)”

and he asks her to explain the meaning to him and shes like “it means i appreciate your presence”

and so he cheers up, and goes to practice the next day

and he apologises to everyone and then goes, “as much as i suck otyebis ot menya”

like ????? and everyone appreciates it!! like >.< omg i hate this

but in general, another phrase that spreads like wildfire!!

at this point, everyone thinks hes a sweetheart (and dumbass) whos using loving terms with his team and friends!!

now, onto the “swear words”

which, in reality, are words/phrases with positive meanings :(

ah i really hope someone tells everyone wassup w these terms

but, lets start w this beautiful term: Я верю в тебя (pronounced: ya veryu v tebya)

this means: i believe in you (and reader, i believe in you, you can do anything you put your mind as long as it doesnt harm you or anyone)

but anyways, this is probably a term that slips out during a fight btwn the two siblings

is it weird that i cant imagine them fighting often, or at all-

okay anyways, back to the hc

theyre probably fighting about how lev left his dirty laundry in the br after the shower, or how he left his dishes on the dining table and how he isnt necessarily cleaning up after himself

and shes tired of it, so she starts yelling at him

and shes like “oh my god! youre so useless! veryu v tebya”

and he kinda stops saying anything back and stares at her c o n f u s e d

and shes like ?? whatre you looking so lost for

and hes like, what does that mean

and shes like, it means that you arent capable of anything.

so this poor boy thinks that the term “i believe in you” now means “you arent capable of anything”

when kenma, kuroo, and yaku treat him a little meaner on a bad day, he’ll be sure to mumble it under his breathe

when he blocks hinata’s spike, hes sure to yell it out proudly, and everyone kinda is like ????

and so he explains what it means, and

hinata isnt phased by the fact that lev just called him incapable bc poor bby got to learn another russian phrase

and then kenma puts two and two together and realizes what levs been calling him

*insert a mad kenma*

*insert a mad kuroo*

*insert a mad yaku*

okay but srsly the whole nekoma vbc starts using this term to clown lev when he messes up!!

in reality, everyones the clown bc theyre using the wrong term altogether

another term lev would learn from alisa, would be Мой милый ангел (pronounced: moy miliy angel)

and what alisa thinks it means is : you are not an angel/youre a fallen angel/youre the devil

bc like some languages dont have a term for something, so they use another term and then the word not in front of it, so alisa assumes thats what it is

so she just assumes this word is something to call someone a devil or basically imply theyre a bad person

this term slips out from alisa, when someone says a comment about lev during a game,

ooooo lets say the nekoma vs. nohebi game to make it to nationals

and someone says something along the lines of lev being a terrible blocker

from across the court

and out of nowhere

alisa is like “hes better than you! moy miliy angel”

poor bby thought she was defending her brother

okay she was but still-

you know what i mean

but anyways, everyone looks at her

and she just shrugs it off bc she doesnt owe anyone an explanation

but after the game, yaku’s younger sister brings it up in front of them

and she explains to everyone that it means a devil

and theyre all like ??

alisa saying something mean- this is new

but in her defense it was bc she was standing up for her brother

as she should-

but on a real note, lev adopts this term to roast people during plays and makes them confused hehehe their faces r funny bc they get so lost and bam nekoma scores

a term that kageyama adopts

he expands his vocab when hes mad at hinata from boke, to boke and moy miliy angel

tanaka probably uses this term on people who piss him off

imagine him saying it w his buddha face LMAO

but lastly, a term that lev would learn from alisa is Радость моя

this term is pronounced as radost moya

it means “my joy”

so, when alisa is stressing over something (maybe hw, maybe over the fact that lev keeps making a fool of himself in front of yakus sister)

she’s like muttering under her breath,

“this is gonna be the death of me, ugh why is this radost moya“

like LMAO she thinks this term means terrible, or my bad luck

no sweetie its the opposite

its just so funny, lev hears her and she explains the term

so he begins to use it all the time

and i mean ALL THE TIME

when he cant block? radost moya. when someone reminds him that he isnt the ace? radost moya.

so, when bokuto is in emo mode, lev is like radost moya, its just bl (ha if your mind went to boy-) bad luck

and bokuto is immediately out of his emo mode bc he is LEARNING a new term from his fave russian teacher uwu

but again, a term that spreads like wild fire

this is what kags calls hinata, iwa to oikawa, and semi to shirabu

overall, alisa teaching lev incorrect russian phrases, is lev teaching the whole of anyone who plays volleyball ever incorrect russian phrases

these humans look like straight up clowns

i CaNnOt emphasize how dumb they look-

basically just becomes a crack fest

bonus (kinda-):

lev, kenma, kuroo, tsuki, kags, akaashi, bokuto, yams, and yaku all went to the fish market one day

they all witness kuroo, bokuto, lev and hinata do something stupid with their shared one brain cell

so, naturally, the others flame them in russian

and someone nearby is like

“aww its so sweet you believe them,, your friendship is so cute“

queue the whole crew (ugh i hate that term but its better than squad) turning to look towards lev

and BAM they all start asking this random person for translations on stuff

they all look so shocked and mad and sad

*insert a mad kenma*

*insert tsuki mocking everyone*

just funNy stuff hahahaha

okay imma head out bc wtf did i just write-

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