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little-fam-ily · 4 years

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A Place To Call Home (Fam ILY) Chapter 2

Read it on ao3 Rating: T Warnings: Age regression, mentioned abuse

Taglist: @bunny222

Summary: Logan doesn’t feel things. That is, until he meets Patton. How far is he willing to go for this new boy his heart swells for? Patton’s friend Virgil puts that to the test.

Logan was never one for indulging his emotions. All his life he was taught to repress them, push them deep down inside and never let them come to the surface. Emotions made you vulnerable, weak, prone to manipulation. And he never wanted to seem like he could be manipulated. He needed to be strong, and be able to face whatever came his way. That meant sacrificing feeling, hurting, being. Emotions weren’t necessary anyway.

Then he met Patton. It was a pretty slow day at the bookshop, which was saying something since they were tucked away in the corner of a rarely visited strip mall. Come to think of it, Patton was probably the only customer that day. The only one that mattered, anyway.

The bell rang, and as soon as the boy walked in, Logan was absolutely smitten. At least, that’s what he guessed that he was feeling, since he hadn’t really felt it before now.

He was on the short, chubby side, with a mop of curly blonde hair on his head, and clear blue eyes that could be seen from a mile away. With every step he took the room seemed to glow a little bit brighter, and Logan swore he started hearing birds chirping in the distance.

The boy peeked around for a bit, an awed smile plastered over his face. “Oh, hello there! I’m Patton!” He held out his hand, after noticing Logan behind the counter.

The world seemed to stop for a second. All Logan could process was Patton’s bright smile. He forgot how to breathe, he forgot how to think, and he was always thinking.

“L-Logan.” He managed to stutter out, taking Patton’s hand. It was soft, and warm.

“Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Logan!” Patton smiled. “So, I’m looking for a new cookbook, and I thought of going to Bookman’s, but I always go there and they never seem to have new stuff, so I just thought I’d look at some other places in town, and…”

Everything else around Logan started to blur, including Patton’s voice. He was only able to focus on the way Patton’s mouth moved and hands wavered when he talked. He was getting lightheaded, and knots were forming in his stomach.

“Wow, I really love this place, it’s so cozy!” Patton giggled, having moved further into the store. That snapped Logan’s attention back to reality, and they stared at each other for a few moments.

“I’m sorry, you wanted a cookbook, you said?” Logan said, stepping up from behind the counter. He led Patton over to that section, a little corner near the back of the store.

Patton looked thoroughly through the shelves, inspecting each book to find what he was looking for. He muttered things to himself occasionally. “No, nuh-uh, already have that one…”

Then he let out an excited gasp, eyes settling on an old, worn out, vintage looking book with a leather cover and frayed edges. He flipped through it, looking with awe at the hand-written recipes.

“Oh my gosh, this is perfect! Thank you so much!” He squealed happily, eyes and smile bright. Logan furrowed his brows. “But I didn’t, write the book-”

“Well, no, but you helped me find it! That wouldn’t have happened without you! So thank you.” Patton smiled genuinely, holding the book close to his chest.

Logan’s face flushed a bright red, even redder than it had been all morning. He cleared his throat. “It was no problem, I was just doing my job.” He stated, trying to come off as nonchalant and relaxed, and failing miserably.

Patton caught on to the way he was crushing, with his eyes glossed over and his mouth agape only slightly. “You know, I’ve been really busy lately, but I managed to get some free time, actually tomorrow, so if you’re free, then, maybe we could do something together?”

Logan’s breath hitched. His heart shot up to his throat. “Y-you mean, l-like a, a date?”

“Well, it doesn't HAVE to be a date, but if you want it to be, then, yeah! It’s a date!”

Logan felt like he was gonna pass out. “S-Sure, yeah, t-totally. D-Do you wanna get coffee? Coffee’s a good, date thing, right?”

“Oh, well, I’m not a big fan of coffee, I’d much prefer tea.” Patton smiled nervously.

“Oh, oh yeah, me too.” Logan adjusted his glasses, glancing away. “I don’t know why I said coffee, it was a dumb idea.”

“Well, I CAN like coffee, it just has to be filled with other sweet stuff, like chocolate or caramel or whip cream. Like those really fancy frappuccinos at Starbucks! Although, Starbucks would be too basic, and expensive…”

Patton trailed off in thought, then gasped. “Oh, I know the perfect place! It’s this quaint little coffee shop downtown who also has a great selection of teas. I’m friends with the owner's son! Here, let me write it down.”

He grabbed a miniature notebook and pen from his back pocket and scribbled down an address, tearing the page off and handing it to Logan. “I’m free tomorrow at noon! Does that sound good?”

Logan blinked, looking down at the note in front of him. Oh god, even his handwriting was perfect. “S-Sure, yeah. I can fit in some time.”

Patton smiled. “Great! I’ll see ya then! Here, let me pay for this.”

They walked up to the counter together, Logan almost grasping Patton’s hand. Almost.

Logan took the book, ringing it up and handing it to Patton. “Here you go.” He said with a small smile, admiring Patton’s freckles.

“Thanks! Have a great day! See you tomorrow!” Patton waved, basically skipping out of the store, book in his arms.

Logan let out a breath. Now that he was gone, there was this empty feeling growing in his chest, and his vision did not stop clouding over. What the hell was that?

This was wrong, this was all wrong. Logan didn’t fall in love, especially not at first sight. It was something that just wasn’t done. But the way that his heart was hammering in his chest, the way he could feel his face getting redder and redder, it was getting pretty hard to ignore.

No, he couldn’t let this happen. He composed himself, straightening his tie and going back to his work. But soon his thoughts started to drift back to that curly haired boy with the golden freckled and baby blue eyes.

It was gonna be a pretty hard day tomorrow.

Logan woke up early that day, barely getting any sleep the night before. He got dressed in his best dress shirt and tie, and after his shift, stepped out in the hot sun to meet Patton at the coffee shop, preparing himself for any more waves of those dumb feelings.

When he arrived at the place, it took a moment for him to find Patton, since it was so crowded already. But once Patton spotted him he waved him down. “Hey Logan!”

Patton ran up to him, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the counter. Logan was startled, but followed as fast as he could.

“Logan, this is my friend, Remy! He’s the owner’s son!” He motioned to the man behind the counter. He had a leather jacket and dark sunglasses. Logan wondered why he would need sunglasses inside.

“Sup.” Remy greeted nonchalantly. He was leaning on the counter, looking at Logan through his glasses. “Hello.” Logan responded, still wondering about those damn sunglasses.

“Well, I know what I want! Logan?” Patton said, turning to him. Logan was snapped out of his train of thought, then looked at the menu. “Um, just a black tea, please. Cream, no sugar.”

“Okay! I’d like, let’s see…” Patton took some time, eyes scanning the chalkboard. “Oh! I’d like a honeydew with popping boba please!”

Logan’s brows furrowed. “Boba?”

Patton gasped. “You’ve never had boba tea before?!” Logan shook his head, still a bit confused.

“Oh man, you’ve got to try some! Here, make that two orders of the boba.” Patton turned to Remy. “Coming right up.” He said, taking down their orders and handing it to the baristas.

“Oh, Patton, you didn’t have to-”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll pay for it!” Patton smiled. Logan was taken aback. He always thought that he would be the one to pay for everything if he ever went on dates, which he thought would never happen, but he was grateful nonetheless.

They got their drinks and sat down, Patton looking out the window. “Yah know, my friend Virgil and I love coming to this place.” He said, taking a sip of his tea.

“Do you?” Logan asked, taking a sip of his black tea as well.

“Yeah! He’s been really busy lately. I wonder if he’s doing okay…” Patton trailed off, lost in his thoughts.

Logan hummed, then looked down at his two drinks. “So, what’s up with this, boba?”

“Oh, right! Well, boba tea is like any other cold tea really, it just has these little tapioca pearls at the bottom! They can also be popping boba, different types of jellies, it can be all sorts of things really!”

Patton continued on, rambling about all the different combinations of flavors and toppings. Logan just stared, smiling slightly. He didn’t catch everything Patton was saying, but tried to listen as intently as possible.

“So? Are you gonna try it?” Patton asked, snapping Logan out of his thoughts. He hummed. “I suppose so.”

And with that, he took a sip of the boba. The pearls shot into his mouth, along with the sweetness of the tea. He cringed slightly, getting used to chewing on the pearls.

“It’s really sweet.” He commented, managing to swallow it all down. Patton frowned slightly. “Do you still like it?”

Logan thought about it for a minute. “While I’m not used to it, and it’s a bit too sweet, and chewy, for my liking, I guess there is some novelty in it, so I can appreciate it at least.”

Patton smiled, a goofy look in his eye. “I guess it’s not really your cup of tea then?”

Logan’s brows furrowed, then sighed in understanding. “Yes, I get it, very funny.”

Patton broke out into laughter. Logan couldn’t help but smile as well. Maybe, maybe he could do this whole dating thing after all.

It had been almost a month since then. Logan pulled into the parking lot, locking his car and walking towards Patton’s apartment. He was supposed to work late that day, but he got off early, and decided to try and do something romantic for him. This was romantic, right?

He slid his key in the lock; Patton had given it to him a few days earlier. He stepped in, trying to be quiet. He definitely heard Patton, but it seemed like he was, talking to someone?

Then he heard the second voice, which was sort of familiar. He couldn’t understand what they were saying, but their voices seemed frantic and nervous.

“Logan! You’re home!” Patton smiled anxiously, peeking from the bedroom. “Weren’t you supposed to be working late?”

“Yes, but I was able to get off early.” Logan said, suspicious. “Is there anything wrong?”

“Nope! Nothing wrong at all!” Patton laughed, trying and failing to keep up his cheery guise. Logan rolled his eyes, walking towards the bedroom, ignoring Patton’s protests. “Wait, Logan, don’t!”

Logan stopped in the doorway. There he saw a small boy curled up in the corner between the bed and the wall, trying to hide himself from Logan. There were coloring books and crayons sprawled all over the floor, and a sippy cup tipped over next to them.

Logan squinted his eyes in recognition. “Virgil?” The boy looked up for a second, eyes wide, then avoided his gaze, shutting his eyes in fear.

“Look, Logan, can I talk to you for a sec?” Patton gently pulled him aside. “Remember the thing that I talked to you about? Where I act like a kid sometimes to handle stress?”

“Ah, yes, age regression, I remember.” Logan recalled the conversation, and recalled that as long as it was helping Patton he supported it.

“Well, Virgil does it too.” Patton admitted. “I’m kind of his caregiver. I didn’t tell you because he doesn’t like people knowing. I’m actually the only one that knew until you came home today.”

Logan blinked. “Why wouldn’t he want anyone knowing. I mean, I understand privacy, but if it’s helping with his stress then it shouldn’t be looked down upon.”

“I know, that’s what I keep trying to tell him! He just has a lot of trust issues.” Patton lowered his voice. “His parents were really neglectful, and kind of abusive. Not to mention he had to deal with a toxic ex a while ago.”

Logan let out a breath of realization. “Ah, I see. Well, if it’s that bad, then I can understand how he isn’t prepared to deal with people. May I talk with him?”

“If he’s up for talking, then I guess you could try.”

Logan stepped in carefully, not making any sudden movements. “Virgil? May I talk to you?”

The boy shook his head vigorously, still avoiding eye contact. Logan sighed, bending down to his level. “I promise, I won’t do or say anything that’s going to hurt you.”

Virgil looked up slowly, but couldn’t keep eye contact for long. “Don’, don’ wanna…”

“I know you don’t want to, and I know that it’s scary. But I’d like to talk with you now so there are no unresolved issues. Do you understand?”

Virgil tried, but shook his head. “Gonna, gonna hate me…” He sobbed, tears spilling down his cheeks.

“Oh Virgil.” Logan sighed. “I assure you that I will not, nor ever, hate you. If regressing is something that brings you comfort and healing, then I am one hundred percent supportive of it. In fact, I am willing to help out, with whatever you need me for.”

Virgil looked up at him, eyes wide in disbelief. Patton had caught that bit of conversation too, and quietly gasped, starting to smile.

“Really?” Virgil asked. Logan nodded. “Really.”

Patton couldn’t contain his excitement any longer. “Oh, thank you thank you thank you!” He exclaimed, running up to Logan and hugging him from behind.

“Of course.” Logan smiled, turning around to face Patton. “When I said I would be there for you, I meant it. Whatever you need me for, I will be here. And if that means taking care of you, both of you, then I will do it gladly.”

Patton smiled wide, tears forming in his eyes. “You’re the best, Logan.” He said, hugging him tighter.

They broke their hug, Patton now turning to Virgil. “See, baby bat? He’s here for you, just like I am. Do you wanna give him a hug? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Virgil thought about it, but in the end shaking his head no, still hiding his face. Logan nodded. “It’s fine, I understand. If you need me to leave, I will.”

Surprisingly, Virgil shook his head no to that too. Logan blinked, taken aback. “You want me to stay?”

Virgil nodded his head, looking up at him. Patton smiled at the two, pulling them close. “I love you guys so much!”

Virgil and Logan glanced at each other, a mutual understanding between them. Maybe this could work out after all.

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lamiralami · 4 years

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TMA Retro 4: Page Turner

I was touched to see some tag commentary on yesterday’s post! Honestly, it gave me an emotion - I am traditionally very anxious about engaging online, it speaks to my immense love of TMA that it brought me to Make A Post At Last. It’s very affirming and reassuring to get some response to my lunatic treatises. Y’all are all right. 💜

Anyway, grab some lighter fluid and a sturdy wastepaper basket, time to torch your haunted novel in MAG 4: Page Turner

It’s ironic that this statement is about the Vast when it is one dense motherfucker. so many dangling plot threads are introduced here, each ready to hook you and start reeling. we’ve been into the meta plot since episode one but this episode is the first time the audience is made aware of such.

seriously: Jurgen Leitner and his library, Gerard Keay and Mary Keay, Michael Crew. the figures introduced in this one thirty-minute installment loom large over the rest of the entire run

you could, your first time through, even file this away as a one-off scary story if not for the fact that Jon knows what’s going on (enjoy it while it lasts, my son). He’s heard of Jurgen Leitner. He alludes to an incident with his library in 1994. Deeper than that, he immediately takes the statement at face value and treats the claims within it as authentic, which is a complete 180° on the first three episodes

and this is such a smart story choice? Jon shapes our perspective into this universe and up until now he’s been utterly dismissive of the validity of the stories he’s telling. To go from practically rolling his eyes to scheduling a meeting with his boss about tracking down more haunted books - that tells us that Jon takes this seriously as a threat. And that makes us take it seriously too, makes us take note that strange books are dangerous things in this world. Any offhand mention of books in future statements will be enough to make us sweat

And! It starts winding the narrative tension on a character level. Why and what does Jon know about Jurgen Leitner and his library? Why does he say his name with such venom? And if he’s so sure about the supernatural nature of these books, why is he so loath to believe the other statements?

(and then it takes 80 + episodes to fully answer these initial questions. Jonny enjoys a slow roasted torment)

love that the statement giver presents, as proof of his iron-clad sanity, the fact that he works as a theatre technician. speaking as someone with an unfinished theatre degree: theatre people are feral my good buddy, try again. I mean, we refuse to say the name of one of the most famous plays in the English language because we think a ghost will trip us for the indiscretion. this is not the trump card you think it is.

a quick sidebar for the Red String Brigade: The Trojan Women is an ancient Greek tragedy that involves a baby being thrown off a city wall. The Seagull’s first published English translation was done by Marian Fell, and also a seagull is a bird and birds can fly. Much Ado About Nothing is very good and you should all watch the version from 2011 with David Tennant and Catherine Tate.

it’s interesting that these early episodes seem to take a cue from urban legends in some respects. Nathan Watts gets extremely drunk at a party and then is almost skinned by a monster while having a smoke. Joshua Gillespie is approached while engaging in a whirlwind of debauchery and has to take care of a cursed coffin after accepting money for what he thinks is a drug trafficking gig. Amy Patel regularly spies on her neighbour for her own entertainment and then has to watch him be replaced by a malevolent entity only she can perceive. and now Dominic Swain pushes past his guilty conscience to score a valuable book off an unknowing charity shop and...gets a bit dizzy and haunted by a phantom stink for a few days then gets ‎£5,000, well anyway, the point is he got spooked! spooked after doing something kind of iffy! that is pure urban legend procedure; modern day fairy tales imparting dire consequences onto societal transgressions. in a horror story this structure offers a false sense of safety - if you’re a good person, the monster won’t come for you. I can’t recall which upcoming statement yanks the rug out from under us with the first completely random victim.

cannot comprehend how this guy didn’t start plugging the book into google translate the second he got home. that probably saved him from being taken by the book but I am still judging him for not even trying it. yeah you’d be sucked into some sort of sky hell but at least you’d know what’s in the book!! could never be me

(yes I am aware in this universe I would have been eaten years ago. I’ve made my peace with that)

grbookworm1818 slays me. I don’t know which is better, the idea of Gertude carefully curating the most sixty-five-year-old-on-goodreads username she could as a cover for her cursed purchase history, or her actual sixty-five-year-old brain just expressing itself naturally because Gertrude is a very busy woman who doesn’t have time to immerse herself in the ins and outs of internet culture, she just wants to buy the demonic tomes she’s selected for destruction and get on with her day thanks.

did Gertrude know what a meme was? which Archivist could convincingly pose as a millennial best, Gertrude Robinson or Jonathan Sims?

The Key of Solomon and its former keeper, Samuel Liddell MacGregor Mathers, are both real historical figures. the book is basically Renaissance-era magical au fanfic of the Bible, and the man was a 19th century British occultist (and likely drinking buddy of Jonah Magnus) who founded a Very Serious Secret Society. this is a picture of him whiiiiiich rather dispels any sense of menace he’s meant to invoke. what kind of cosplaying nonsense

Mary Keay is such a striking figure. “She was very old and painfully thin, but her head was completely clean shaven, and every square inch of skin I could see was tattooed over with closely-written words in a script I didn’t recognise.” a Look, a vision!

I’m guessing that Our Gerard was blasting heavy metal at 2 am to try to drown out his undead mother while waiting for her manifestation to dissipate. I like to imagine him frequenting Reddit advice posts about dealing with toxic family members, poor lad

oh my gosh Mary refers to Gerard as “her Gerard” is that where Jon got “our Gerard” from?? I feel betrayed??

whatever, I’m reclaiming it. Our Gerard is meant with affection now babey!

the eye portrait is a bit puzzling. the inscription - ‘“Grant us the sight that we may not know. Grant us the scent that we may not catch. Grant us the sound that we may not call.”’ - could almost be read as an invocation against the Eye? But in general Gerry is fairly Eye-aligned, so...shrug emoji

(honestly my main takeaway from the eye portrait is that it’s finely detailed and near photorealistic so we can add “tortured artist” to our list of Gerard Keay traits and is it any wonder that he’s so Fandom Beloved?)

Mary is Not Good at negotiating sales. her main technique involves terrible tea, bringing up repressed childhood trauma, and getting her magic book to drop animal bones onto customer’s shoes. I’m guessing Pinhole Books was in bad shape even before the police investigation and murder charges.

hahaha, the Vast pushes Dominic down the stairs. classic. you gotta grab what opportunities are available

so did Gerard have to follow Dominic back to his flat and wait awkwardly on the doorstep at like 3 in the morning, hoping none of his neighbours would notice and call the cops

the revelation that Mary’s been dead the whole time! this episode may be more intent on world building and plot set-up but damn if it isn’t still a good little ghost story.

kind of rude of Gerry to just burn a book in this guy’s flat without asking and then steal his wastepaper basket.

Jon may not call the statement giver a liar for once, but never fear, he’s still our petty bastard man. accuses Gertrude of filing statements without reading them, has Sasha double-check Martin’s research, grumps about his general misfortune . he’s stressed from the Archives’ disorder and having flashbacks to a certain picture book but by Jove, that won’t stop him making snide comments on what’s supposed to be an official audio transcription!

#tma retro #the magnus archives #tma spoilers #tma meta #I love love love all the little dominos being set into place in this episode #but I am looking forward to an episode about the Vast that really dives in deep #(pun absofuckinglutely intended)

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