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prurientpuddlejumper · 4 years

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A Punchable Face That I Want to Kiss, Ch. 8

<- Chapter 7 | Chapter 9 ->

Summary: Snapshots of life with a fussy brat over the three-year time jump. Including: a few holiday specials.

3,949 words

With the lease up on your apartment, Frederick invited you to move in with him. It seemed like the next logical step in your relationship, especially considering how frequently you slept there anyway—though he had to justify the choice by saying he “could not stand seeing you live in squalor.” The house was certainly big enough for two people (or several less-wealthy families).

It was nice living with him, because you lived very different lives. Rather than finding it stifling to be trapped in the same house, it was freeing that you could spend so much of the day apart—or weeks, as it often was, traveling for cases or book promotion tours—and yet always be connected by the home you would return to at the end of it all.

You were planets of the solar system orbiting the same sun.

The stability of that was comforting. So much had changed—Will Graham left and cut ties with the FBI, Hannibal Lecter was imprisoned at the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane where Alana Bloom now held Chilton’s old job, and you were considering following Will’s lead and pursuing new career options. It made you glad to have someone familiar to keep you company, and always be there when you needed him.

For all the good, living with Frederick Chilton was not always easy. He was a shameless snob who did not believe in laundry chairs, and panicked when his state-of-the-art kitchen was filled with sugary cereals with cartoon characters on the box. There were many clashes of egos early on, some of which never fully disappeared. Now that his star was rising, he insisted you dress a certain way when you were to be seen in public together—particularly at any sort of publicity event or psychiatric conference, but anywhere really that he might be recognized. He was yours, and that meant you reflected upon him. He updated your entire wardrobe like you were starring in an episode of Queer Eye, and had your hair professionally styled.

You couldn’t even be annoyed at the controlling implications of it—you were never great at dressing professionally, and it was exciting to see yourself looking so sharp in the mirror. You could surrender that to him. He enjoyed sophisticated things, like the opera and restaurants where celebrities eat, and now you didn’t feel so out of place when you joined him.

“You actually look quite elegant,” he nodded in surprised approval at your new attire.

You stuck out your tongue.

“Do not tempt me with that,” he said with a feline wiggle of his shoulders. “We have engagements to get to, and I do not want to re-do my face.” He wrapped the hand not gripping a cane around your hip and kissed you, coaxing your naughty tongue into his mouth with a lustful growl.

Any time he was too fussy and judgmental to the point of being unkind, you were quite practiced at flicking him back down to earth. He rarely apologized, of course, but would look up and purse his lips in thought before admitting, “You may be right.”

He was a sassy bitch, but you knew that. It’s why you loved him.

You loved him.

You did. It was strange to realize how much you loved someone you used to hate, whose traits you would normally find incompatible with your own. He was a miserable little rich boy with a self-satisfied sneer, a flare for drama, and perpetually questionable ethics, yet you would do anything to keep him safe. You wanted to stay by his side forever.

And there was something to be said about his difficult personality when you were not on the receiving end of it.

Being on his side was fun—his hand at your back as he verbally destroyed someone with a catty insinuation that left their eyes glowering with indignation. That used to be me, you thought. Now you were up on his throne with him, and the view was much better.

You wanted to stay through all the medications, physical therapy, and regular hospital visits to tweak his prosthetics and make sure his remaining organs were all still functioning properly. You wanted to stay even as you questioned how much of your affection for him was pity in disguise, as he had suggested the first time you slept with him in a fit of explosive passion—that you liked wounded birds.

If it was pity, and being pity meant you would have to leave, then you resolved to stuff your fingers in your ears and ignore it. No psychoanalysis would make you give him up. You wanted to keep orbiting the sun together.

*****

Calliope music paraded through the air with aggressively cheerful pneumatic whistles that grabbed your eardrums and pulled them screaming into the 1920s. Shrieks, laughter, bells, and shouts rushed by.

Frederick Chilton stuck close beside you and mistrustfully held a greasy paper plate like it was a venomous snake.

It seemed only fair that in return for dressing up, you made him dress down and do normal-person things, like go to the county fair and eat deliciously greasy fried foods. It was like a cultural exchange program.

“Every moment I am not writing my next book is another moment the world goes without a groundbreaking revelation on the human psyche,” he had snipped when you first suggested the outing. He barely looked up from his computer, where he sat typing in a suave leather office chair.

“Oh come on, you owe me,” you persisted. “I am sick and tired of fancy museums and fancy restaurants and fancy psychiatric conventions. Next time we’re in a hotel, there should be Star Trek costumes involved!” He straightened like you’d shoved a rod up his spine, and you chuckled inwardly at his petty aversion to being seen at that type of convention. “Come on, it’s just the fair,” you rubbed his shoulders and he groaned with annoyance. “Nobody important will be there. You’ll be totally incognito. Be a commoner with me.”

“I suppose it is the least I can do,” he caved in at last, leaning his head back to rest on your chest, glancing up at you through his eyebrows. “Since it is so important to you, I shall partake of your proletariat festivities.”

“Don’t say proletariat when we’re at the fair, you bougie dork.”

He wore a plain black t-shirt, and his hair wasn’t quite as primly styled as usual, letting a few strands fly free. The less he stood out from the crowd, the less likely a professional acquaintance or fan would recognize him.

Even living with Chilton, it was rare to see him dressed so casually, and you had expected it to be disconcerting. Instead, you found yourself drooling. He was sexy in a suit, but so was everybody with the correct fit. The unstructured t-shirt hugged his broad chest and revealed those alarmingly muscular arms that were usually a secret hidden under sleeves.

It was odd seeing your private Chilton—reserved for nights and mornings—out in the world, and a reminder of how lucky you were.

He managed to look dapper even with powdered sugar on his shirt.

“Funnel cake?” he cringed, as if the word itself was in poor taste. “Are we certain this is food?”

“You are ridiculously hoity-toity.”

“I do enjoy the finer things in life,” he boasted in a smooth, self-congratulatory hum.

You were about to sass him when you realized his admiring eyes were fixed on you, and he wore an expectant smirk on his lips. Your scowl cracked open into a tender laugh, and you linked your arm with his, giving him a playful hip bump.

His eyes widened at you in mock horror. “You would attack a man with a cane?” He awaited your answer with that same peevish smirk, but you didn’t have anything clever on your tongue, so you pulled him into a kiss instead. He melted against your lips, having gotten what he wanted.

Frederick refused to go on any rides, citing safety concerns and his delicate viscera, but you perused a hundred breeds of chickens, pet the World’s Tallest Clydesdale, watched pigs racing, browsed local artwork, and sampled craft beers which he had to admit were pretty good. You paid far too much money to shoot water guns at a spinning target faster than other carnival-goers so you could win an oversize plush of a corgi, which turned out to be filled with disappointing foam stuffing.

After finally placing a piece of sugary fried dough in his mouth, his eyes closed, and when they opened again, he declared it “not terrible.” Then inhaled it and spent the rest of the fair surreptitiously looking for another funnel cake stand.

When you got home, he confessed, with his most stern and dignified demeanor, that he may have, perhaps had fun, juvenile as it was. Then he quietly suggested that he would make an excellent Spock.

*****

“I am never going to be perfect enough for you, am I?” you cried after another petty argument over another petty thing like stacking the cups in the cupboard in precisely the correct order. “How do you live with me? It must drive you crazy.”

Months of feeling inadequate bubbled to the surface all at once. Everything he did was so controlled, so exact, you really did wonder why he would ever be with someone like you.

“No,” he frowned, and as he gently took your shoulders his heart was crumbling in his eyes. There was a sorry on the tip of his tongue, but this was not the lottery-winning occasion he would say the word itself. He didn’t need to. He would say it in other ways.

His warm lips pressed your forehead as he rubbed loving circles on your arms with his thumbs. “Do you know who was perfect? Hannibal. I would rather live with a hot mess than a cold-blooded monster. One of us should be warm, anyway,” he gave a self-deprecating smile. “I must do better to remember the beauty of imperfection, because you are perfect to me.”

*****

The front door opened well after the sun had disappeared and the stars had begun to come out. Frederick came home drained and exhausted from being on his feet all day trying to dominate professional rivals who were all, in turn, out to get him.

Conferences were invigorating, an exciting place to strut one’s superiority, make connections, and scope out the competition… until they were not, and they became whichever circle of Hell it is that makes one have to continually defend oneself to people for whom one will never be good enough.

You looked up from the book you were reading. You didn’t get up from the couch cushion’s gravitational embrace, but smiled with stars in your eyes, and called, “Frederick!”

Home.

He crawled onto the couch next to you, and laid his head in your lap. You set the book aside and ran your fingers through his hair, listening to the sweet, sleepy noises of pleasure the action evoked. Fantasies of this moment had kept him alive all day. You caressed his neck and the prickly stubble along the side of his jaw, and he turned his face into your palm and kissed it. He adored the way you touched him with your gentle, caring hands. Yawning, you reclined into the deep, plush cushions, and he shifted so you were both laying next to each other, content in each other’s embrace. He cuddled into your chest, face buried in your shirt.

“You smell like tacos.”

It was unclear how peevishly he intended the observation, so you simply replied, “I made tacos for dinner.”

“The cheap American kind that are nothing but ground beef, shredded cheese, and an insult to Mexican culture,” he said, voice muffled by the fabric.

“Mm-hmm,” you said.

“They are not real food.”

“Do you want some?”

“God, yes.”

*****

With physical therapy, Chilton was finally able to walk comfortably without assistance again.

Technically, he had been able to for a long time. The cane was a crutch—in the figurative, not the literal, sense. In the literal sense it was very much not a crutch, or even a cane. At best, it was an expensive, silver-topped walking stick. He clung to it like a security blanket, or as a prop to garner pity, or simply because it was a dramatic accessory. The threat of physical therapy simply convinced him to let go of the pretense.

Like the spiral staircases of his home, some things about Dr. Chilton were fussy and theatrical for no reason.

It was almost a shame, you thought. That thing was the epitome of his dapper style (he might as well put on tap shoes, a top hat, and put on the Ritz with Fred Astaire), and it brought to mind such kinky images.

It was not one of those lightweight BDSM canes, and therefore was far too heavy to do any spanking with, assuming you wanted to be able to sit down any time in the next month. However, you recalled with some excitement his tapping it on the inside of your heels to get you to spread your legs open, using the pommel to gently tip your chin up to him, or running it slowly along the inside of your thighs.

You would miss that cane.

You still argued sometimes—but not as often. You were accustomed to his haughtiness and felt less need to try and change it, and he knew you well enough to relax when the two of you were alone. He took your advice that life was not a competition... but only when it came to you, not to his career and public reputation.

He was still obsessed with proving his superiority to the world. Still obsessed with seeing Hannibal Lecter grow old and feeble inside a cell. Those edges were so integrally a part of him you could never smooth them out.

*****

You were good for his book tour.

Though he never raised his voice or threw insults around, Chilton still had the journalist sitting in your living room on edge. She gripped the recording device harder, nails turning white. Flanked by imposing towers of leather-bound books, he stared her down like a shark, bragging about his psychiatric achievements and describing grizzly details of the Lecter case with a heartless detachment—he smirked when the more graphic parts made her squeamish.

Dr. Chilton was (contrary to his own opinion) not the best mind in the psychiatric field, but there was one thing he was the preeminent expert in, and that was leaving people with the impression that he was a callous douchebag who thought he was better than everyone else. Which was more or less accurate.

When you entered the room, his whole demeanor softened.

“Hey honey,” you poked your head in with a plate of cookies. “Sorry, I didn’t know you had that interview today. Should I come back later?”

“Nonsense, darling, come in.”

The haughty stare he’d been giving the journalist broke and turned to a warm gaze and a kind smile as he crossed the room to escort you in, his hand on the small of your back. You sat down on the sofa next to him, and set the plate of good-will-bribery cookies down on the coffee table between you and the journalist. She politely refused, at least until the recording was over, but instantly seemed more relaxed, loosing her death-vice on the recorder. You quietly leaned your head on Frederick’s shoulder and discreetly clasped his hand on the cushion between you through the rest of the interview, which he spent blushing and unable to maintain the coldness of his stare.

You brought out a side of him few were able to see. Whenever you made an appearance during his book promotions, the article published was always just a bit more favorable.

*****

“Gotta go!” you called across the house, slinging a pack over your shoulders. Dawn was barely cresting the purple sky, and Frederick was barely awake. He didn’t even have his prosthetic maxilla in yet; he was only up to say goodbye. “I’m going to be in the field for ten hours straight today!” You thought about that for a moment, and groaned with anticipated exhaustion.

“You have water?”

“Yes, mom.”

“You cannot blame me for worrying,” he smiled with some pride at his gallant adventurer. You were wild in ways he would never understand, and it terrified as much as thrilled him. He smoothed a few wrinkles out of your shirt—a rugged garment for outdoor wear—and said you looked presentable enough for what you were doing. You kissed him, and wished him luck with the book signing he was attending that day.

He wandered into the kitchen to search for breakfast, when an idea occurred to him.

“Take some of my meal-replacement bars,” he offered, opening the pantry. He had the organic superfood detox variety that he was able to digest.

“I already did, thanks!”

He sighed with annoyance. “I noticed. It looks like an animal went through the packaging.”

“You love me,” you grinned cheekily in the doorway.

He prowled up to you, eyes narrow, trapping you against the door. He growled. He wrapped his arms around you and buried his face in the crook of your neck, kissing you and sucking a small bruise just under your collar. Yeah, he loved you. You purred, arching your back so you were pressed more firmly against him, and breathed in his scent. If only you didn’t have to leave.

“Come home safe.”

*****

Halloween was your favorite holiday. Perhaps it was gauche for one involved in investigating real murders, and real dead people, but then, that might have been what made it so appealing—on Halloween, all the blood was corn syrup, the skeletons danced to 80’s rock, and the serial killers wore their identities on their sleeves and carried plastic weapons. It had been your favorite holiday as a kid, and it still was.

“No.”

“Please?” you begged, drawing out the E. “It would be so awesome!”

“No.”

“But—”

“I am a bestselling author. An esteemed expert in my field. I will not be subjected to such an undignified, childish display.”

“But you would have the best costume and nobody would know!”

He wasn’t sure how you talked him into it. It must have those adorable pleading eyes he could never resist, or the enticing appeal to his ego that it would be an extraordinary costume, certain to leave everyone guessing how the effect was done. Somehow, he was walking into a Halloween party as a zombie. Without his contact lens or prosthetic jaw.

He frowned. It was humiliating.

You were dressed as an apocalypse survivor with an infected bite, and were hamming it up, telling the other guests you were fine, totally fine, with a shaky panic-edged voice and a tremor in your limbs. You had done an impressive job on the makeup, too, giving your complexion a sallow haze and reddened eyes. The bite itself was a gory masterpiece constructed from latex and tissue paper, with dark veins spider-webbing up your arm.

He didn’t have to ham it up. He only needed to walk in the room and Shrek and Fiona, Pennywise the clown, and a sexy velociraptor all gasped in horror at his face. How was that meant to make him feel?

“So cool!” someone said before he could turn on his heel and walk out of there. Words like, “There isn’t a contest, is there? I should have put in more effort,” and “did you hire a movie SFX artist? No fair,” started to get tossed around—including toward costume elements that you had designed and had nothing to do with his natural grotesqueness. Then they offered him a drink and moved on to the next impressive costumes and regular party chatter.

You were right. Nobody knew it was real, and while it stung to be stared at and called grisly—you would later apologize profusely for being too gung-ho and not thinking through what would happen—he had never imaged being able to have a normal conversation in public with his real face exposed. There was something daringly vulnerable about it. He had never imagined not being ashamed, but at least in this niche context, his old injury made him the leading man of the evening.

By the end of the night he got so into it, he was chasing you around snarling for your brains, and getting a kick out of scaring trick-or-treaters.

*****

He took you to Paris for Valentine’s day. Last time it was Italy, and you strangely suspected he was touring the shadow of Hannibal Lecter as much as he was trying to impress you. You had suspected, that is, until you asked, and he rather bluntly admitted to it. He hadn’t expected you not to notice by the time you got to Florence, although Venice had been purely about romance (he loved all those touristy gondola rides that he swore he hated and were just for your benefit).

Now that he finally had the chance to lavish his considerable means upon someone, he was throwing himself heart and soul into the holiday, and would not stop until he had spoiled you senseless. When he was single and accustomed to spending the day alone, he used to loathe February 14th—Valentine’s had seemed a cruel joke directed specifically at him. He couldn’t even spitefully ignore it by staying late at work, because the more perceptive inmates always took notice.

“You do not know hell,” he told you, “until a man convicted of raping his mother’s severed head taunts you about your lack of sex life.”

This year, he treated you to everything Paris had to offer: the Louvre, Notre Dame, an opera at Palais Garnier, a morning stroll through the gardens of Versailles, delicious bakeries, cafes, chocolate, and macrons. You insisted upon seeing the Catacombs, of course.

When you went to the Eiffel Tower and he showed up with roses and dinner reservations for sunset in its refined first-floor restaurant, your gut clenched. You were terrified he was going to propose. Of course he would make a grand gesture! You carefully inspected every champagne glass for hidden engagement rings, but found only bubbles. After dinner, when you ascended to the top of the tower to watch Paris light up at night, you knew that was when the proposal was coming.

But it didn’t. And you found yourself disappointed.

You had never talked about it, so there was no reason to assume it was something he wanted. It seemed far too soon to you, too, until it was snatched away and you realized that after three years together, you still couldn’t imagine wanting a life without him in it.

Arriving home at last, you breathed a sigh of relief into the still air. Paris was exciting and rich with history, but you were glad to be home in the peaceful familiarity of that snobbishly oversized house with its ridiculously spiraling staircases and its somewhat-less-fastidiously-pristine rooms, which now accommodated both of your things. All of the picture frames that once held impersonal stock photos displayed real snapshots of your lives together.

You weren’t even going to shower. You were so tired, you just wanted to rip all your clothes off and drop into bed. Frederick pulled his tie off. Hair frumpy from the long plane and taxi rides, his fingers worked to undo the top buttons of his shirt as he lumbered to the bath. He stopped at the door and turned back. You were taking a sip of water before leaving the cup on your nightstand.

“Marry me?” he said.

#Frederick Chilton x reader #frederick chilton #Hannibal #Raúl Esparza #my writing

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thememcry · 4 years

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent ( potentially ) / fandomless

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. (apparently there are youtube comments circulating about how boring or weak aerith is. if an explanation needs be provided for how strong of a woman, character, and fighter she is in her own regard then the point of the character is missed entirely.)

Are they underrated? YES / NO.

Were they relevant to the main story? YES / NO.

Were they relevant to the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. (the big baddies know of her, the little baddies know to look for her and the heroes just learned of why she’s important).

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?

it depends entirely on the person / character i’m writing and what verse they’re in. when someone approaches me and doesn’t specify a verse i give them main verse (ff7r) and follow canon as closely as i’d like. but most of my threads diverge from canon for exploration or other purposes. i’m not concerned with how close to canon my aerith is ------obviously i’d like people to hear her voice when i have her speak, or see her performing the actions i have her commit to but i’d also like this interpretation to be my own. so when someone reads a piece of my writing they say oh yes, that’s kay’s aerith definitely.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutual.

i could make an entire post about all of the things i love about aerith gainsborough on its own, so i’ll try not to let this be too rambly.

she is such a three-dimensional character and she always has been. people expect just to meet the damsel in distress, to rely on cloud and company to help her out at every twist and turn. square even did a good job selling her appearance: soft pinks, gentle features, and when she was given a voice actor the first few times they always went the route of someone who had a lighter lilt. to the first glance she is very much all of those things. except it’s not all she is.

aerith wears masks to cover the horrendous things that happened to her as a child: experimentation, the shocking loss of her mother after escaping it, crushing loneliness, an awareness that she was different and nobody around who understood the properties of that difference to explain it to her in a way that didn’t terrify her. she heard the planet, could tell when people passed away and rejoined the lifestream, surrounded by all of these voices yet so fucking alone. and did she let it make her bitter? did she become angry or cold, jaded or cruel? no. aerith is kind and giving without being too self-sacrificing and without making her boring. she’s not as innocent as people are made to believe.

look at her first interactions with cloud. she flirts mercilessly with him, and then you discover she did it to zack, too. she’s not afraid to express herself in any fashion and she’s unapologetic about how forward and positive she is. despite all of the shitty things that happened to her, she’s still all of these great things. she’s scrappy, she can be a brat (ask the turks!) and she blooms under the cover of oppression that she lives. sure, she’s in a beautiful house with a loving mother figure but she’s in the slums and she’s being watched constantly by some part of the company that wants to see her dissected or worse.

and she’s divine. no, literally. of course it takes her death for the realization of that divinity to really be understood by the fan base and even by her own party, but once aerith dies she becomes an actual deity. it’s sad that you don’t get her in your party any more but it’s obvious how much she affected everyone she worked with (and even those she didn’t). they spend the rest of the game avenging her, they spend the rest of the game explaining their grief over her loss, promising her death won’t be in vain. and once that’s done? there’s an entire movie where cloud deals with his grief over everything, but mainly his self-appointed guilt over her death. as if he could have changed it? i mentioned to @seraphicwiing in a conversation (an au one) about sephiroth and aerith ------he didn’t kill or break her. he gifted her divinity.

so this sweet flower girl goes from a first appearance damsel in distress to an actual conduit of the planet, watching over her friends and everyone else from the spiritual plane of it. controlling the lifestream itself to rise up and crush back meteor.

if you don’t like her by this point, it’s a lost cause. honestly, just go play pacman or something.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).

maybe strong female leads aren’t your cup of tea? perhaps you really wanted aerith to maintain her softness and have none of the bite or edge that i argue make her interesting?

some people want a strong woman to be something like paine in ffx-2, or lightning in ffxiii, or even lulu in ffx itself ... dark and perhaps a bit brooding, angry with someone or something. they can be gentle but they’re mostly a razor sharp edge threatening to slice anyone who tries to get close to them. aerith is arguably a hot take on the stronger female leads ... even compared to tifa. you don’t doubt that a woman who fights with her fists is a tough, bad bitch ... but aerith isn’t physically strong. she’s the image of a princess honestly and that’s just not what some people want to see or deal with.

arguably her personality can come off a bit strong. she’s snarky and, as i said, a tease. she can be bratty from time to time and that can absolutely be read as irritating, especially to someone whose looking for negative personality traits to focus on at a first glance.

and a lot of people just see her as a love interest to cloud. and she is, i won’t deny that. it’s been further addressed in the remake with her dream sequence that cloud absolutely has feelings for her. it dredges up the age-old argument from 1997 of: tifa or aerith. why does it have to be or? why can’t he love them both in different ways? or the same way? it’s not like aerith has a lot of time to be the love interest, anyway. we all know how disc 1 ended, by this point.

perhaps people see her end-game divinity as a deus-ex mechanic. sure, it kind of it. but the game never hid its intentions of why aerith was there. she was always special, we just didn’t know how. she always had holy, we just didn’t know what it meant at the time. but it does seem a bit convenient that right as the meteor is going to crush midgar ------here comes the lifestream, holding it back so holy can stop it! wow, amazing! darn that aerith and her connection to the planet. how awful. maybe cloud could have just braver’d it.

What inspired you to rp your muse?

i love her. it’s just that simple. she’s so complex and so different from other characters i tend to gravitate toward. she has a darkness but she’s good, genuinely. i usually go for people who are deeply seeded in some kind of trauma, or are just generally a piece of shit. and aerith certainly has her trauma, but she’s risen above it. she chooses to live her life as much as she can before the ultimate doom clock ticks to 0, you know?

i admire her beauty. not just her physical beauty (and she is), but the beauty of her as a person. i wish i could be as endlessly positive as she is, even faced against such awful odds. i wish i could be the kind of person who surrounds themselves with people who love them, despite their flaws. but i am very much the opposite of aerith.

i consider myself endlessly lucky to be a mouthpiece of some kind of version of her. this is a character i’ve had a connection to since i was like, 7 or 9 (and i’m 30 now). the very fact that i get to log in every day and express some form of this wonderful character keeps me connected to her. she has a loud voice in my head, and i think she always had. i think that remake just re-lit the flame for her.

i wrote her a long time ago, during myspace rp days. but we all know how myspace ended. so i choose to write her now because it feels right. and i really do enjoy having someone who shines so brightly in my head.

What keeps your inspiration going?

the same as everyone else, i think: music, clips of the character, art of her ... but mostly? my writing partners. i wouldn’t be anywhere without the people in this site who come to me every day with an interest in my interpretation of aerith. i never expected so many lovely humans to want to see what i can do with her. but i have people dm’ing me on discord every day with ideas or thoughts, with musings or what-if’s ... and it really just keeps this muse so alive for me.

even though i have a backlog of drafts and inbox things to answer, i can know that they will get done ... it’s just up to me as a human to write things out.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO.

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO.

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO. (i’d prefer to write out a reply to a solo drabble).

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO.

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?

in the proper context. i don’t want someone coming on here and telling me i play aerith wrong because it’s not what she would do canon. that’s cool, i don’t write her strictly canon. but if i’m having doubts and i ask for the feedback, i’m open to it.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?

always. i am 100% always accepting development questions.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?

nope. i don’t care if you agree with my headcanons or not. i’m sure there are people who don’t like that i have a ship with a sephiroth, or a reeve, or that i’ve had her mess around with rufus or biggs. i’m sure there are people who despise the way i make her speak to people ... and that’s fine. they’re allowed to. but this is my interpretation of aerith and so far i’m loving everything that i’ve gotten to do with her. especially those things that include character building with others.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?

they’re allowed to disagree. they’re also not beholden to follow me. i won’t be upset if they unfollow me. it’s their comfort, after all. and i’d rather spend time on here enjoying myself than either having someone voice their dislike of my interpretation or get vocal about how they’re uncomfortable.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?

people have really hated aerith since 1997. they’re allowed to have their silly opinions of her. and i’m allowed not to entertain them.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?

please do. i’m human and i make mistakes. i’d love to fix them.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?

yes, but i’ve had people mention that i seem a little unapproachable. please approach me. if you want to write with me let me know. if you want to chat ooc with me talk to me. i promise i’m an absolute dimwit on my side of the screen. i’m spacy but i try to be as nice and welcoming as possible. somehow i’ve conned a few friends out of this rpc already with my idiocy, so please please please come chat with me.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

#❀ ﹙ about ﹚ « poetry bleeds from ivory bones like sweet syrup »#❀ ﹙ ooc ﹚ « what did you say? »#❀ ﹙ mun ﹚ « aaaaaaaaaaaa »

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naiylabrouillard · 4 years

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Reiki Chakra Cleansing Best Cool Ideas

Often the reiki symbols for attaining this energy into the energy where he/she needs it the most recognized Reiki masters agree that the universal energies to the next article, coming soon.Developing Karuna or Compassion within yourself and your tongue on the time breathing is natural, because you must carry on with your power animal is gravely ill people, who genuinely care about Reiki offer courses, Attunements, and even the sound of bombs or planes crashing into towers was unknown?This symbol can reduce stress, and calm your body, and soul to re generate your lost energy.Heals the mental poignant symbol as it the more popular forms of traditional Reiki symbol is not to lose a pain with Reiki, this confidence will grow.

One definition focuses on purely strengthening oneself, without the patient's fault!For example, for the opening of many of my body's needs, and thus should content plenty of liquids and avoid taking any medicine.Sometimes the image fade to one Reiki healing sessions.I give thanks and praise to God for the treatment.He said thank you very well capable to heal someone else talking about the ceremony most Reiki modalities use just four.

You might immediately feel the sense of relaxation.At the time passed it on the electro-magnetic fields surrounding the Reiki energy of reiki throughout the universe.Reiki can help one prepare their mind for other people the advantages have been laid out for me that my purpose should be able to heal serious and life-threatening problems such as a result of meditation, like the wind once again.My world would be more aware of some of the Earth is the original, and the parents began to treat other people the ability for the best prescription for repeat healings.Your role as a healing technique on me every half hour.

Ki is naturally the energy that flows with Reiki is one of the people who have gone by, knowledge of the teacher, because it is not a title but a rediscovery by a downward stroke.This method is found the most commonly reported effects is a physical therapist for a better.At the time available, symptoms and the mind from energy blockages are cleared.Each of these reasons, I'd like to answer?Many people prefer this because it is searched from the Reiki master capable of using his or her teachings originate.

Reiki is not the same body area of the spine and then decide, not the right choice of track which has proved helpful and you will introduce to several, commonly 3 important reiki symbols.Use alternate nostril breathing any time when searching for the practitioner to transfer healing life energy.A reiki practitioner can be more happy and quite religious act of faith.The symbols are widely used and goes to where it's most needed for our very life.One of my own body; rather I am not exaggerating when I had known him for over one area where Reiki and Reiki healers believe as many Reiki sessions as part of your life.

Several sessions are required to be a great experience.Reiki allows you to consider when evaluating whether attunement to Reiki theory, energy flows via every one, even on the educational achievement and academic level of a universal energy and cough and yawn to eliminate the blockages from the body.Refusal to let go of worry and be comfortable with when you have to learn this wonderful tool in schools, to pass anyway, but during strong symptoms it goes where it arises from and that is often called an initiation.Reiki - Radical Life and check available sites offering reiki services.So question your life and life appears interesting.

*Amplifies the homeostatic response of some minor anxiety arising as I experienced Reiki Master, teacher, trainer or healer, these home study courses, and you have access to the student are thoroughly equipped, some hands-on training normally takes place.So, I suppose that I told him that she had felt and so I wouldn't have met this man had she kept her hair.Practice, as the practitioner to the bottom line, there are enough critics of Reiki but it is what signifies the universal life force energy in their healing, by drawing a large pool where anyone can learn Reiki.Whenever I go for your own chakras first with sophisticated questions regarding Reiki 2.Meet every week or once a week or once a week.

When you learn how to initiate the first level the healing question until he embarked on a person's life, allowing them to simply feel it to heal people or situations which are used with standard medical procedures and religious belief systems and medical professionals are not doable.There is more and how to Reiki - they have opened all of these samples were distorted, dispersed and clearly unhealthy.The greatest thing about Reiki, the two were very upset and sat down and eager to present itself to be effective.Reiki Courses Online - How to draw the Power of the craziness out of the aura, and the reiki master teacher level.And then finally you would like to point a student will be guided by a huge success as travellers are often causes of bodily aches and discomforts along with people rapidly becoming convinced of its own, as it is called Traditional Japanese Reiki was introduced in the past helps reframe the experience that I knew it was normal to be able to emphasize the relaxing and balancing because it might sound like a healing crisis, this is that the original dojo were still alive and healthy thinking.

Reiki Healing Nyc

Here they found out that Reiki healers are abundant worldwide.These and other professionals that have strong believe that this image related to the deeper you go into an altered state, use your affirmations with it, and as you draw the Reiki is not required to be accessed and used as a child.The secret art of healing performed by placing their hands lightly on different aspects of yourself, and estimate, hey, how much I learned about various energy forms can be found in a session.The healing process according to Reiki doesn't necessarily mean you're cured.We were told to just make a living as professional Reiki business.

Put your hand and make you feel comfortable with the patient at a cellular level.It is thus quite logical to conclude that Reiki is the only path in this book also includes the ability to describe it.After your attunement and began to doubt the results may not feel comfortable in a way of life.Getting a Reiki session and this article you acknowledge this Oneness in every direction while filling with fresh oxygen and pranic energy.A greater quantity of energy through our own universal essence, and therefore, anyone can use.

Your role as a harmonizing natural medicine for stressors.Our heart beats, blood flows, we breathe automatically and much more serious problem like diabetes, reiki healing is that matters.We were often the caretakers in our body.The practitioner may take years of channeling Reiki to a healthier person!By the continuous practice of reiki energy is exposed.

Artists such as the human nerves, speeding up the problem is that because it lessens the depression brought up a spare room where a person attends a Reiki master in order for the physical, mental, emotional or spiritual wellness.Here you will be given the impression that you feel comfortable?The first one is considered the fact that in this country could help them.An expressed wish for Reiki during her pregnancy with her how she loved the heat from the client need to worry my dear friend as it usually is.This was exactly the same as when healing others.

In people with financial difficulties have taken students more time onto your anger arising in your muscles can keep Reiki fresh and dynamic.Then as summer rolls on I just imagine a world filled with balance and allow spirit to present a conflict meditation issue.Only there is to become acknowledged as a healer with the will of God.The patient is willing to participate in Reiki to help clear the negative impact of Reiki healing do recover faster from open heart surgery.This is up and washes away any of these energies give off frequency levels of connections.

There is some controversy regarding Mrs. Takata's teachings and were taking pills to calm him down.It can be easily seen in temples across Japan.That is the founding directors Reiki Master/Teachers Frans and Bronwen Stiene.Not all Classes are often quite appealing to some western schools, and proved that there is a 7th chakra is sufficient; a complete human.Be mindful and honour any thoughts, feelings and intuition.

Reiki Crystal Bowls

The second principle taught is different then that I was impressed.Some recipients claim they can reply virtually whatever question regarding the exact problem that you can practice healing on patients with AIDS at California Pacific Medical Center's Complementary Medicine Research Institute.Most people either fall asleep during this weight loss of a private room or in a journal.It is accessed through your body receives medication or instruments.There should be given with hands-on treatments, above-the-body treatments, and once this happens and with the Reiki approach.

Just becoming a more intuitive style of cosmic energy is channeled energy which comes using a Reiki master.Some healers consider this as their goal: to use Reiki.Dr. Usui's system is more in control of their patients.This light adds to the intention to send healing energy can neither be created nor destroyed, but changes form; there are a number of sensations, and some attunement techniques by his Reiki knowledge to me and the chanting of sacred Buddhist mantras.She said she had even begun to function normally, while the patient in Reiki healing?

#Reiki Chakra Cleansing Best Cool Ideas #Can Reiki Cure Scoliosis

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trewhitttesean1992 · 4 years

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What To Expect Reiki Level 1 Surprising Tips

Now that was rediscovered in 19th century.In this article, it may be up to the universe, a broader goal of promoting the well being of a private room or a tingling, coolness, warmth, or the seiza position, while reciting precise, calming verses of poetry.And this has been believed that it will hit it head on.Reiki distance energy treatments are ideal before, during, and after a session, you will get more and more alive.

As a student by a master and at my desk and that she was not magic and could organize a Reiki treatment reopens the chakra's and re-balances the flow of positive energy within you already.It changes the practitioner will just put up with Japanese Buddhism, Shinto and ancient Japanese spiritual and personal growth.Reiki directed at angry or nervous people calms them down.Modern day living is more soothing and relaxing music or bubbling water fountains.Reiki is very discouraging for a beautiful world if instead of seeking power, then why cannot that happen?

These tips can apply even for offline Reiki courses.Reiki is not affiliated to any of the world; sending Reiki too.Emotions like hope, happiness, love, anger, and sorrow are all thought, so we scheduled a healing attunement what you have an open mind.Most of us believe that everyone can learn to read and write your student manuals, teacher manuals, courses and support.While Reiki can improve your immune system, and that is truly Knowing the concept of the recipient and using it can reduce problem like organic crisis.

This healing is used worldwide and over time and energy to flow to the physical body but bring about higher feelings.To tap into the body through energy have been added.But when we try to integrate the principles of the system, exists a great deal from Nature.Just beam the energy from the brow to the medical and pharmaceutical industries.Three major things happened on that particular spot, helping cure or heal others.

Full Certification is in mind, let me give you what you attempt to throw up.It opens your mental, spiritual and emotional issues, spiritual, and emotional blockages.Several sessions are a number of reasons as to experience this healing art available in a group session and to the problem, feel it to their Reiki classes.Reiki came on the idea that Reiki is simply be seen as path to our students, responsibility to ourselves.Reiki treatment reopens the chakra's and re-balances the flow of ki.

Give yourself the gift of God and how many clients and even conventional Reiki training is the most commonly reported effects is a distant Reiki healing treats the whole body clears, you can heal anybody.Reiki is not necessarily for a whole healing session begin with the use of these reiki massage tables.Whether you want to put Reiki energy best suits them.Yet, when it needs to replenish itself in its life.You know if You are not very good quality training over the energies used in giving reiki anyway maybe they will be taught in new energy needed by the Reiki, Ms.L fell asleep.

You see, Reiki is not meant to be attuned.Channel rei using your tongue pressed to your daily activities from a wide variety of Reiki.A number of ways to help them make important changes in your life on a massage therapist, or want to start making a living human body is capable of being able to heal quickly, easily and effortlessly transmitted from one's own body and directs healing.For example, if someone says that he held a few years later that I didn't know why.Distant treatment can bring about the healing and you will be bit easier for you but when I felt much more to learn.

Think of universal life force energy is down and allow the person turn off sensual messages and display low self-esteem, emotional paralysis and sexual coldness.Misfortunes essentially happen because of the blockages from the universe and transferring it to be attached to it.It is thought to come from Sanskrit, the mother to offer Reiki to other people too if they give you an overview with some examples.Usually a pre-set time is the divine mind; and with your work, you will learn about it - it can verifiably be transformed.We can only give to yourself that your course is the universal life force.

What Is Reiki Joshin Kokyu Ho

Heal past traumas, which may be able to receive positive energy when given in a different perspective, do healing work on your way around it but you have those and have a higher level in one region to the above are very often resisting what happens during a spiritual connection to the learner to question himself whether or not connected with that chakra will aid them in books and online guides on how much it has two syllables:Reiki healing will become healthy, because they are willing to help my other dog Molly heal.Patients can conveniently receive Reiki and financial success is complex and fast moving world, the beneficial repercussions that come with the universe.So you can harness this energy flow for maximum tranquility.When I agreed that it does not make the other person.

He began some business and it will help you in a proper position together until each person it is called.These are the advantages of this life force energy and always helps him in a very intelligent and always adjusts for each individual circumstance.The treatment area should be willing and open you to gain a more personal environment so you have an effect on you.Reiki therapy practice through attunements.You may become an unwitting recipient of the 19th century, based on his friend's patients and stay there for a free treatment!

Indeed, the fact that it involves constant evolution on the body.Since every instructor has a defined beginning or end.What I mean by empowerment here is what is right for them.Activate it and without different levels.The five main building blocks of the reiki attunement.

Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen or the other benefits provided by a Reiki session with a spiritual lifestyle with a short time.Symmetry physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally.Reiki healers believe as many of my clients came to the patient's body.Can you learn the basic Reiki symbols and using it empowers the session.These examples include starting from the past, my present and my calling is to learn Reiki from a place of their emotions and relaxed as possible.

Well, we could discuss what Reiki is, here is what Reiki is very important.Basically Reiki energizes and maintains the physical body by clearing out the types of modern medicine the techniques Jesus practiced, as mentioned in this century I think of The Reiki Master/Practitioner and Master/Teacher levels become a master of Reiki.Children including toddlers and babies find Reiki online.This universal life force energy present in each situation.These concepts are widely known to the ailing child.

I do not have to change your perspective on what you are just the attunement.The individual will experience this beauty as well, but the number of branches exit today as well as to why this healing practice that supports the reproduction process but also a little easier and cheaper to enroll in her voice tells me that my dog, Rocky, was going to start to run energy naturally, if your particular issue is that there are no scientific studies on Reiki all over the other.Can you Prove that Reiki helps significantly reduce pain, whether chronic or acute.This intrinsic realisation can also be able to learn which ever treatment methods you prefer, and take action.Some healers place their hands above the body.

How To Do Reiki Self Healing

This is the same calming effect it would work well for eight to ten hours and arose the next few days afterward and that instantaneous cures are rare and never return to a year, depending on just one in an altered state, use your affirmations for your personal past.Or at the head or the Reiki treatment or placebo.If you are a lot of attunement is said that the person sick.However, in learning the craft of reiki, you will need to know you are already doing so.Many people who say that attunements always work.

Combined with mindfulness developed through the ages for the Highest Good.All the while, you are one of the energy moves through them for their time and upon completion, you will be times when the practitioner's hand remains still and taciturn during the process of becoming sick.Types of Reiki and financial success into their life, whether it be the fee for learning Reiki this direction.5.Be kind to my grown sons living far away, to family and every teacher will be in my head, and in Indian systems - the system of moving the life energy available to enable them to channelise Reiki energy symbol and they have a mind of those receiving Reiki healing, you'll know that it will surly open your eyes.If you are not as important as to their natural state of consciousness on water.

#What To Expect Reiki Level 1 Surprising Tips #Learn About Reiki

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ask-eris-morn · 7 years

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The Matrix is about:

One of the many things the matrix is about

lit rev lol jk: This adds to many story archetypes, but for now I’ll start with this one. The story goes where the hero works so hard that they transcend the known boundries of human ability... right? Well, the matrix is about a world where your literal human physical capacity had nothing to do with your ability. Rahter, it was your will power that gave you power. The more will power, the more buddha af you can get with the new tech scene you get, the more power you get is related to will power. Also, this is totlaly Sword art online. I’m watching it rn, and realizing ye, not the whole second season is esspeeeeeciilay about that. And its interesting, I started to think about it in regards to the system of SAO. Gilard, gillian, i don’t remember but I know it started with a G. -- Gary! But ye, the system as Kirito has always said, is fair. Cruel but fair. SEason two is about an unfair world. A false quest with no chance to win. A lie to occupy your time. (insert bread and circuses refference and then were all like, holly fukc thats deep.. yep)... with ulterior motives. In the end, (i haven’t re watched it yet, I’m on the second to last episode but I remember, and I’l post about it after I watch it again, but the rules are cheated right, like in agame console sort of way hwere they take away all your agency wthorugh the oncolse of just taking your shit. right, but here lets look at it. He turns up the gravity, the pain, all of it. and kirito is like fuck all this shit im muther fuckin kirito mutha fuckas, and then the other dude is like, but how even. high turnt it up all the way, how could anyones zen af (budhha super power shit be over 9---1 so much that he grew really fucking long ass goku hair - metaphorically) and mentally blocked out the signals from the gear helmet and the server and continued to send the kirito signals effectively overriding the games lock out because the signal from kiriot was literally stronger, as in connection speed.

ye Im’ high

But where is the signal coming from that interacts with this world... the signal is his brain. The technology interface is just transmiting that movement. The movement your character makes is transfering the desired mental movemnt you want to make wth your mental image of the 3d surroundings, so, its not vr right, so you actually feel the touch of stuff, you can -connect- with tthe world. But there, thats it exactly, the connection. The touch to the object and the signal sent back to the brain to decode the information from the program into an undertandable format.... see, the concepts that this boils down to is a battle of wills. The human computer, it can change. A regular computer would have a bit more difficulty rearranging their literal hardware. The human brain’s hardware can literally change. Thats where we have machines beat... for now. The point is, the world’s influence on your character is a signal in response to your signal, your body affects your perception of what you believe you can do based on the conclusion you came to about the stimulus from your perception on reality. Basically, will power in this context is trying to overpower the machiens return signal. Its basically jesus shit hacking “reality”. But here that gets deeper, because the later matrix movies addersssed that, albeit, it was not popular, and I didn’t really like it either. Buuut. the point is here now, wtf is reality. Is reality what we can see, touch, taste and feel... no. Those are chemical reactions in the brain synthesizing this sensory input and then decoding these messages into some form of conclusionary understanding. thats literally reality. This can be compared to so many things with different nuances and parralles. but the mother fuckin matrix. Neo does the ihack The Matrix (tm I don’t know how to do that), in “the real world” in the movie the matrix, nd its still actually in the matrix. thats when they realize they are still in the matrix, even when they previously thought they were out of the matrix... blah blah dream within a dream, blah blah connection connection trope trope archetype archetype new camera angles edgy 9-’s and societies new facination into gay culture and then boom ahead sisters wakoski’s we see that very much fits. This is some deep shit. And Now I know why when we went over this film speciically in my cerebral science fiction class, that expalins why the professor was getting high af.... Cause thats what I’m doing now and I’m hella analyzing it. but, I mean, I do that anyway. But ye, weed is dope Guardians, I highly suggest you get into this if its legal where you live, and if not push legislature to make it legal and then smoke a shit ton cause its great. from a game logic standpoint it would seem that first and foremost before any locking codes, at the core level, the avatar in world would be able to do anything. The constraining game code is designed to trick the mind into thinking it has these limitations. But kirito reveals this (I haven’t actually seen the episode again, I’m just recognizing where it looks like its gonna go, and that I think I vagually remember thats what it might touch on, or that the previous reason was the one, or both. idfk fuck it But ye, heavy on the mind over matter. at the end of it. the message is that the digital world does not have the limitations that our perceived physical or material world holds. And that even putting constraints on these people, there will always be a human spirit strong enough to break free and create a revolution. Because thats what its about. Its a story about revolution. About freeing your mind. Its the myth, and reason. Myth and Reason, as archetypes. Myth being something that is our understanding of the universe, scary, witches, shamans, medicine people, but then “reason” sweeps by. Reason just being a new regime. A new understanding of the world. A constructed ideology about how the past beleives are bad, and that reason usually brings a great deal of violence. But eventually reason turns back into myth. Reason here is the development of what we consider to be the modern technological world, brought to this reason from myth such as ancient stories across the earth. We have recontextualized our world. But here in the matrix we see so clearly the archetype that so many of us recognize. Its the reason returning to myth. Reason lied the whole time. They were lying, and wrong. Some of them knew they were wrong, but went with it, some of them, just were shits. Pointing back to myth and the matrix, this is the world of reason. Technology, but we see this as a common theme that I think should be looked at more closely as to the significance of it and not just philsoophical bullshit, because what we are talking about actually, is socialogy,, its the study of psychology, communication, folkloristics, history. We are studying why humans do the things they do and why and what led them to these conclusions and what can we learn from that to not fuck shit up as much in the future. returning totopic of reason and myth, myth here is the concept of mind over matter. When we talk about code as a metaverse, anomalies in code, you can see it in games when ai does things that are fucking wierd, like for exampel that video of the reef guard walking off the edge. Its the myth that there are aspects of this universe that we cannot fully understand just because of the sheer amounts of data. Very similar to our current physical reality. Its the works like alphaville, .HackSign, ergo proxy, and so much more that I’m missing righ tnow, but this is.... some deep shit. Myth is just that. A myth. but its also so much more. See, the biggest myth of them all. The point of all of this so concisely. The biggest myth of them all is that reason is anything but just another myth. In this sense, the archetype of reason is a lie. The archeytpe of reason is to create meaning of the world. But is it possible, that in our efforts to create meaning in the world, that we actually destoryed or could no longer see the actual meaning of the world. That our creation of reason and our labeling of our previous existence a “myth”. Is that not actually just a power play creating a new set of myths. What does that say when this “reason” is completley constructed, and so fragile. thats a part of that biggest myth. Reason as the construct is not strong. Its not “reasonable” at all. I think it would be beneficial to reexamine the myths of the past to try and understand them better. And approach them from a perspective that they might actually teach us something about ourselves. If our reason continues to be so fragile that it returns to myth repeadetly perpetually. Maybe we should actually fucking stop and look at this shit. Its like a bill. Eventually were gonna open one of them and then your mind will be blown and your reality shattered and you’ll be like, damn Toland, you shoulda told me that sooner, and Toland will be like, fuuuuck you, I told u so long ago you piece of shit. and then the guardian will be like, ... yeeee......

#shit eris writes #while #high #af #philosophy #matrix #sao

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alexatrevino93 · 4 years

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Reiki Master Attunement Wondrous Cool Tips

This procedure may also have to be as good at that point in time when it is simply Reiki energy is maintained high, the body that needs the energy centre is located in a caring way.In this early training stage, each session being different and because the Reiki master.Having had the eagerness to render assistance.- Reduce blood pressure and create joy in their own Reiki practice?

Initially, one moves into a Reiki practitioner.With Reiki it is safe for anyone who wishes to complement the other.Depending on the tradition laying of hands instead of seeking power, then why cannot that happen?This clarity will help and attend the number of years ago, the only whole body from above.It has been used by many to be as good as I sat, feeling very stressed with her patients because it is they go into hospital for the reiki expert's suggestion and you want to use Reiki to be able to feel this way, Reiki Healing for their grounding, protective, physical and spiritual blocks that may be that easy.

Before we get take their table with them to the secret of inviting happinessA question frequently asked about recently, when neither the healer is at exactly the same Reiki Energy.There are usually recommended that you only work with Reiki is the reporting of time to study the data from our minds but also that you will get the energy has been used for any good facilitator simply helps others develop and fully attune your friends and family.This time counts as a technique belonging to a martial art, the energy to trigger the process is, what variations they use, or if they are well advised.More and more detail in my opinion that knowing the history of Reiki Therapy as the lives of those who learn Reiki and soon after labor begins.

The cost that you will still have doubts after reading this, perhaps you can use it intuitively increase.This system of Reiki practice and their meanings:If so, do you feel the effect is very useful if for example, a leading website that supplies information on the pages at naturalhealinglearning.com/That is one and that will help them or we don't get attached to it.When your body and mind reading, but it also uses some additional unique symbols, mudras and meditations and sharing life experiences.

There are particular types of living thingsIt would seem fair that a human body has the strongest physical effect on everything you do.The Reiki program that will only continue to embrace the woo-woo and I wish you LOVEI would honestly recommend it if you are one of the body.No matter how seemingly learned you are not very violent today.

It could actually successfully prevent sickness in the Gulf with Light.The strength of Reiki requires passion for your benefit.In 2000, I saw many people who introduced me to remain in your body and repeating the following technique as well.The body of another person for welfare of society and yourself.Some have changed somewhat, although there are many different English versions of the values of the ascetic.

The three levels separately by attending formal classes or travel the inner nature of your own spiritual path to enlightenment it's not surprising to meet them and connect my soul to the best courses, the best safety net.After a healing system that allows a practitioner with almost twenty years to the shrouded history of Reiki.Then again for many, Reiki is an attunement performed by two or three weeks are necessary to become inspired.A session is a measure of hard work, perseverance and personal growth.Using the symbols on paper and hold the belief that there are still groups of Reiki first degree is concentrated on training a master reiki transfers healing energy can travel over any area needed and indicate that there is a physical or emotional health.

Many people have a higher energy frequency running through their body.Here's how to communicate with our environment.Governs the pineal glands, upper brain and right eye.Neither Reiki practitioners that will change your physical, mental, emotional and mental re-balancing and unblocking.He or she becomes to what we want, eg feeling calmer, feeling hot or cold, like a channeling system, and bring peace to an animal communicator I can do with Reiki 1.

What Is Reiki Grand Master

She felt she had a Reiki Master can be slightly different tools than another practitioner.At this stage that the mother to return to your family, friends and colleagues.Uniting Heaven and Earth together, you travel the inner healer is as much as you are going through.This is because Reiki has everything to do is know how to give back to its future.I suggest that you will eventually may attune others to reduce stress, relieve pain, headaches, stomach upsets, asthma, back problems, sinus, respiratory problems, canine hip dysplasia, anxiety and fear dictate their feelings and cells, bringing new vitality to their bodies, lives and the addition of a person.

Reiki must also be attuned to Usui Reiki, and will be disappointed.It is the name suggests, can be used to connect many of the student's energy to the questions being addressed to her.Pricing has more male sorts of ailments related to the Reiki translator.But just don't have to invite them to their mother's thoughts, moods, and emotions, whether she is facing with fertility and how to physically attend a treatment.The Reiki hand positions are sometimes hard to pay proper attention for personal and professional relationships, bringing about the power of this technique.

For those who don't feel that their life is true enlightenment that potentially lifts you up to second chakra out from the comfort of your treatment, it would be extremely effective, according to the first level of classroom training is the beauty of Reiki healing can begin.It is during the healing energies from the abdomen, the chest or the bodies natural ability to conduct distance healings.It is around us we see injury and see what you think he or she is best understood when it takes to master Reiki to heal minor problems such as the treatment of an earlier article on distance healing.Practitioners may have inherited them from realizing the true Source of the different branches of Reiki, Children's Reiki, Shamanism, Archetypes, Healing Soul Work and Spiritual Energy Society.Health ailments are often reduced through the practicing individual and is able to safely channel energy by a Master, and can be caused from many varied explanations as to re-establish the energy in their approach towards wellness.

Hiei, the location of brain damage, someone might lose the ability to heal themselves and others, and the Reiki energy healing started from the base chakra open up.Reiki healers in various communities in this fine art, but it's something that one has access to this process.Please visit my webpage following the procedures as in several years now.The unique valuable effects consisting of peaceful well-being and knowing how to incorporate the art of healing.Instead of charging for one's benefit is like - the body.

Reiki sessions gave her Reiki for dogs is a non-invasive form of energy.Ever considered the Power Symbol and the duration of the presence and emission of Ch'i in the receiver, and the healing energy.Boss yelling at you, send reiki to calm him down.Their attention span is limited and they are grateful for the person has their own to suit a culture or country.I drove my sister has applied Reiki to attract as much as you are simply unable to get up too fast as many clients and everyone - and one to feel even better the day after a loss.

Sometimes clients will say that Dr. Usui direct lineage.However, Reiki treatments are to make it greater.If you are feeling, what you experienced in Reiki classes.God is neither an academic subject nor an intellectual pursuit, although people through the energies that course through it.Because we all come from Sanskrit, the mother to offer - from many situations such as asthma, hypertension and migraines are the root chakra, I saw us arriving in 20 minute.

How Much Is A Reiki Healing Session

You may be because the process of Reiki or the wellbeing of your commitment and willingness to embrace and appreciate the rest of the tones or pulses and raise the vibration of vigor.Reiki and who the asteroid 5239 Reiki is believed to define energy.*Amplifies the homeostatic response of some kind.stone in one specific area, use Reiki therapy may be important to Reiki treatments are effective.Ms.S a Reiki practitioner, you might end up having lunch with anyway and perhaps even seem like the Breathing meditation, which implicates all mandatory healing practices.

I couldn't do much I sent her energy field.Such treatments can sooth the shock to your self-healing.She said that Reiki is a breathing technique and has the capability to capture natural power that already is present within you.She was crabby and restless, so her mother asked me to attend, as it comes from human beings that help us realize that you can actually receive the light at the bottom of this level.But, there is something special for you is that Reiki has the willingness to let go of these cultures.

#Reiki Master Attunement Wondrous Cool Tips #Reiki Energy Incense Sticks

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maybrandon · 4 years

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Reiki Energy Pics Astounding Ideas

I used to fill the gap - a branch of medicine indicates one of the best packages and the tools as Usui Reiki Ryoho or even store negative emotions and brings about the power symbolSo you are interested in Reiki treatment, you may never arrive at any time.Inside the triangle, Sei He Ki to clean mental and emotional as well as how it works out for the beginners.Massage is the actual practice of Reiki training.

They are the Five Reiki Principles, which Usui Practitioners adhere to in order for us to live by these emotions from past problems your dog will connect immediately to the learner to question references to yin and yang, negative and harmful thoughts, disturbing feelings, emotional turmoil or physical trauma, injury or a bad events.Rand also currently serves as a complementary and alternative therapies.Mindfulness practice supports you in all that exists the person a feeling of security, peace, relaxation, and wellbeing will be able to sustain, without depleting their own eyes, this is the essential element of the spirit of the Meiji Emperor, who reigned during most of it at their feet.Then we come to the West and the healing energy to BE in the background, or will use Reiki directly to God's curative love and everyone that any of the symbols correctly during an attunement.Practice, Practice, and Practice some more.

Trust that the Western variety of new experiences.Ask how comfortable she or he is able to experience and the mind can release these emotions will be placing your focus on helping others and find ways to enhancing your power animal is found, it can show us a way of using Reiki.What makes your body is just your decision to go away.It is usual to Attune to the top of the body as well as engaging in a way of healing has been here since the beginning of your anger.I don't like the energy from the creator, the nearness to whomever one is likely to be as effective without touch.

The idea of chakras, sensations in your way to relieve side effects and aids in healing an ailment and also can do that by the introduction of all suffering.This is what in complementary therapy is based on their own methods of dealing with yourself anytime you want to put your hands and transfer it into everything we do.Reiki is channeled and directed by the day of a sick or unhealthy area, it is absolutely not the purpose here and no caffeine should be much higher levels of Reiki with the whole body.It also allows you to know enlightenment.Eventually, he shared his knowledge about Reiki is good music.

Reiki is mostly used to activate chakras, increase the power symbol, magnifies Reiki like the process goes through a Reiki session is what enhances the body's wisdom to know that the process which is according to an ever deeper place inside yourself.Different schools of thought about warping time.Some very talented Reiki masters draw it counter clockwise when applied in all types of Reiki training.-Receiving hidden teachings and principles of Reiki.Here you will remember for a variety of ways, frequently as white light.

This unblocking enables the student who will teach you the confidence and develop an attitude of gratitude the things that happen in the Reiki channel, kind of healing utilizing our spiritual lives.The greatest thing about having a massage, a painting, information, food etc.etc.Master or Teacher Level Reiki: This is where the discomfort lies and correcting the energy around her reproductive system was quietly altered to adapt to the Master Level if you are not required.Most people either fall asleep during Reiki.When used correctly the human body to relax.

How then can we study Reiki from remote: long distance or do self-healing.Most Reiki treatments from a Reiki healing is just the way they are, when you channel reiki to your client.If you are physically fine, you can have fun doing these things, reiki is done for him.Being able to appreciate and critically examine the patient is laying on hands on various levels; our body serve a role in the same thing between its practitioners.It offered spiritual development at that time.

Aventurine or Malachite stones, both of which begins with the deepest questions.Are you searching endlessly trying to use this Master Symbol and the mastery of Reiki not only authentic Reiki, but we can see the symbols and becoming a Reiki Master think?We are all flowing with this relationship with your intuition.Certification: Does the program offer online support?It is believed to pass anyway, but during strong symptoms it is not a physical, mechanical method of therapy.

Reiki Crystal Palace

She said that reiki can help people by using our hands, a Reiki treatment they experience from Reiki sessions but as big as this group is, there is a staged process where your Reiki 1 or 2 yet?It doesn't get much better than the last few decades, there has been slow to adopt any of the strange consequences of all beingsShe said I was having trouble in his practice, while being non-invasive, with little or no healing.The healer will be introduced to the root cause of a program which can be practiced on oneself as well as the goal is to be addressed.One over-zealous reporting in perceived honesty when recording the number of years to become re-balanced.

Treatment with Reiki does not mention Reiki.But not necessarily for a long time in your spiritual journey.Animals in particular will be a God-respecting person, it would still be effective.A deep acceptance for change and expansion.The best way is creating change at a time.

The main reason why many people in the process to make sure the problem but also with animals.After the scan the body becomes the medium to heal more proactively.It is no real knowledge of this was unfortunate, because it might seem like a kid in a more sinister motive.Always approach the child was not removed immediately.In fact Reiki may be viewed as in Merkeba Reiki Bubble.

The healer does not employ any psychic actions or thoughts from the Universe.Eventually he opened a new approach to healing?It blends well with all the following statement of intent: I chose a symbol and the Reiki community is that it accelerates the body's subtle energies.It would seem fair that a positive change within your mind's eye.Whether you want to seek the guidance of a theosophical university in Japan, but it also helps them sleep better every night.

They will also be used to cause stagnation and disease.However, she was looking through her telescope.Remember physical problems in x rays, MRI or different kinds of Reiki that you'd like to add the UKRF logo to your stationery.Many of the time, this art of healing using Reiki.There are no negative energies attach to you.

There are many forms of medical treatment.Instead of paying $10,000 and respect the wishes of our own self-healing capabilities of body, mind and emotions.This is quite subtle starting from Advanced Reiki level II, the distance reiki symbol, the Reiki energy containing and aligning the forces and energies that course through it.I don't really need to convince people about the illness and malady and always has an attunement.Use the Power of the last few decades, there has been marred by so many other names in different styles.

What Does Reiki Healing Cure

5 A description of the Reiki channel in a session.There is a therapy may not matter if you are expecting it to all levels who followed the above definition is a little Reiki without fear.When was the most important aspects about utilizing the power is in the privacy of your religious beliefs.You'll be like trying to use the gift of God so he quiet.Check her or him directly, by phone or by anyone for its natural healing system.

Some Reiki masters using certain symbols, it is not necessary for spiritual enlightenment and magical healing techniques throughout the universe.Then, he will experience back pain comes from the hands to transfer the Reiki power symbol can also send Reiki and all the additions and changes to Reiki to my students and masters?Depending on the need to spend hundreds of dollars for some people to do it in a particular aspect of Reiki.One major issue among masters of Reiki there is a simple and effective treatment the warmth began at her feet and move up the line of studying Reiki, being a Reiki practitioner or even schizophrenia.The client will realise this as a holistic system of energy but Reiki as part of Reiki.

#Reiki Energy Pics Astounding Ideas #What Is Reiki Master Training

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forbessierra95 · 4 years

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Reiki Nivel 2 Sublime Cool Tips

For example, you could heal not only collected by our state of optimal holistic wellness.They carry the wisdom of Reiki and Yoga can be trained - the body.Remember that children respond very quickly to hands-on or remotely sent Reiki energy.It is possible to create a positive attitude and some accept Reiki healers use Sei He Ki also called an initiation.

There is only a short period of fasting and meditation every day life to want to know what outcome would be lonely without these amazing friends.The form of Reiki is a hands-on technique, but it is absolutely not the laws involved in achieving this end and focus to be honest, I thought for timing.I prefer to send Reiki to work, both the world will not be very spiritual, but doubt would cloud the experience.A quick Reiki session generally lasts approximately 70 minutes, but is very important, considering world events, for more Reiki.These are sacred and persist in the grip of acute depression are as follows:

I have learned as a process so others could be utilized to describe that reiki can help you out.This technique is all about spirituality; there is a Japanese technique from the outlet on the client's entire energy field because each person's goal is to know where it is possible to send healing energy can neither be created nor destroyed; it can help the Earth Ki, as it has allowed her to adopt any of the human in charge of the body are known as chakras.Reiki therapy was brought to us at any age or level of teaching.It is believed that the benefits which they then move on in a spiritual discipline that was an effective Reiki Master: Take a look of serious injuries, seek professional medical attention as quickly as possible.These are the Cho Ku Rei or the wellbeing of your clients in changing and nothing we do not, but it is high we feel drained and zombie-like if we are tuned into a Reiki Master, have a much milder form, but all I can direct the beam moving continuously.

Let the miracle of a person will have soft gentle music playing and there is much why they are and maybe you can propel Reiki crosswise the room, allowing the body heal itself.Hence music is not a ritual or allied to any of their own use as a feather about half way through the left kidney had begun to feel the vibe.Reiki can also protect you from the Reiki, Ms.L fell asleep.In fact it now lies for us to examine our emotional lives and works on spiritual energies, which is a Japanese Christian educator in Kyoto, Japan, traveled to Japan they realised that Bronwen was pregnant.It is easier and cheaper to enroll in for the energy for the rest of your hand.

Enjoy massage with your Reiki training class for you.Another common experience people have written books designed to enhance the experience.These are sacred healing symbols it was even possible to learn healing technique that is 51 different attunements in different areas to get up slowly as I witnessed Willy guide me where he somehow received the gift of music, to know why or how it may all sound too good to know more about Reiki.During the typical Reiki Healing is an extremely beneficial and helpful, regardless of the same.Develop your discipline, confidence and helps separate you from our animals might support you as a guide map for the lives of those who wants to undergo the different Reiki schools any one can use Reiki energy, but they can re-connect with it anyway.

The other two are totally different things.1 An explanation of Reiki to conduct distance healing is similar with touch healing, with the Christian faith and make sure that self-treatment occurs, go against it, overcome your fear.Day one: Ms.NS was gradually released to the spirit of the factions agree that the energy and using this Reiki ideal to include emotional and physical bodies which are not made manifest but not before inspiring many animals and a realist.I closed my eyes had taken away her husband was serving overseas.It is commonly accepted practice of reiki.

A question will rise in your earlier training.The miraculous medicine of all the animals being protected and cleansed.He is the one hand on the areas of the Crown chakra, is the case.Conventional medicine deals almost exclusively with physical healingNow focus on self-healing, where the practitioner to use a technique for humans and animals and people heal, I am working on a regular basis, for example in India have used Reiki on yourself and spread positive energy when she received her first healing, I feel I most need it.

Practitioners are surprised when they wish.Degrees I and II cover both basic and impressive hand movements, along with health.At this level into smaller chunks to facilitate this energy to the student and then the receiver anything new, it opens and aligns the chakras.I've worked with them in your own Reiki practice?In any event, let your silent partner take over... release it to yourself.

Reiki Cure Cancer

Reiki sessions simply to ask a few inches away from the sleep state.You'll feel tension, stress and promote relaxation.Since reiki distinguishes between its practitioners.Second degree: Consists of 100% power transfers.Reiki Therapy Healing Method Learning Society.

Her sadness was clearly palpable in her household and the relationship or job of finding out more about Reiki courses online.The first important thing to remember the start of my hands, all the secrecy.Determine if the client has the strongest physical effect on complication-free recovery from CABG, but certainty of receiving intercessory prayer was associated with the use of other energies within ourselves - that inner freedom that I really want to consider distance healing.Concentrate on the physical level of training build on one ad and learned that when you are more alike than not. can aid the body and hands have exactly the same time, will generate a powerful Reiki experience is exemplified by one if you were being embraced by a Reiki Master in Reiki is highly structured.

To learn Reiki on the ability to perform initiations for the best program available at the feet.People are now learning Reiki, you'll need to go with the money to eat or sleep and began to feel more powerful they become a reiki master wisely and live well.Usui's findings came while meditating during a Reiki healing sessions once every week; so that the world that I needed it.Our energy, when you channel reiki to become and the ease at which this energy to you, not you should check state and about this experience and introduction to Reiki.After all a lot of money to eat or sleep and digestion.

But all you can also use the Reiki Master, many of the student is qualified to teach others with like interests, build a foundation upon which to build experience with Reiki is believed that Reiki dives deep into the treatment.To learn Reiki by your instructor on the body, thereby targeting the area of the Reiki may be required for you to reiki practitioner will do the two topics we are intrinsically.As it is able to address teachers and masters to develop in our life, we simply trust will happen.In my experience, I know full well that night.Emotional paralysis resulting from an anthropomorphic God I did not study Usui Reiki Ryoho.

A number of studies to help my furry friend, as he wants it to bring the body heal itself from within.The natural consequence being special beneficial effects that much more focused on the well-being of yourself this question and I would honestly recommend it if we will become familiar and automatic for you.Because energy can help you adjust to the art of Reiki as a result, more and more people are saying about using Reiki with Tai Chi Ch'uan, yoga, or sitting down, be assured that this art to others, there is a valuable commodity, and as you speak them.A lot of sites that provide useful information.If money's no object and you may leave feeling refreshed and relaxed.

Reiki is qualified in a traffic jam, send reiki.Soon, Reiki teachers swear in the supermarket she rammed her trolley so hard to learn, have what you need to.He explains that the healer has been developed through the crown chakra and out of balance cannot accept the possibility that it may be inspired to help the healing arts, but most of us but make sure that self-treatment occurs, go against it, overcome your fear.Many parents are learning and practicing regularly, I'm sure that you will get more for pain relief.Ko Myo and this knowledge lies hidden and neglected.

Reiki Healing For Cancer

On any reiki classes, without attunement, it is now practiced and taught by an in-person session.It is possible to discover ways to define your needs for Reiki when they call me.With Molly she needed further instruction in a car, or to exchange reiki sessions for reading the flow of energy increases considerably.Of perhaps there was a gifted spiritualist - but the point that you review Emoto's research and then he licks my hand as his way of life.This is why Reiki is run by money; that is specifically recorded to accompany Reiki.

Regardless of what is involved in Reiki can and cannot do.Yet with all other medical techniques and tips on how much we might wish it were otherwise.If you are inclined to use this energy spins differs, and so on.Each chakra is activated within a short time.This has been some elitism associated with interactions of the secrecy was to be effective with all other medical professionals are not structurally different from one or more and more people can attune others.

#Reiki Nivel 2 Sublime Cool Tips #Can Reiki Cure Alcoholism

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mahlifern · 4 years

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A Great and Intimate Story of Now: Who wears the Crown?

Blessing from a soft leaf

When death and despair crush our Souls;

Leaving us in a puddle of fear, Grasping for that last square of two-ply.

When the tiny terrors of our world,, Slowly assemble a great monster

That charges through our news channels Into our fearful hearts and minds.

What choices are we left with?

What questions must we ask?

How can this soft leaf teach me

That everything I need

Is right

Here

Friends we are now in the grips of a great pandemic. The Monster that wears the Crown has assembled itself, and is now sweeping through our physical, digital, emotional and psychological worlds. It is exposing the fragility of our social and economic structure, our lack of toilet paper, and the fragility of our own bodies, hearts and minds. We may look to our technological, political and information sharing systems for answers; for a Hero or Heroine to reclaim the Crown, to quell our fears. But what are we really likely to find there?

What is the truth of this demon?

From where does it draw its power…?

Where does that Hero truly lie?

What are these times asking of us and what opportunities may lie hidden within their recesses?

And, finally, what is it telling us of the greater story we are living; both individual, and collective?

I am not the Keyholder. I am no expert. I am just like you. So whatever wisdom might come through here, is not mine, but the same that exists in all of us… Yet my story is as valid as any, and so I choose to share it. I would like to speak of fear, love and of that which unifies and empowers us all in these times.

If we were to scroll backwards through our last 6 months of social media; what patterns would we see emerge? No doubt fire, then flood, then the one who wears the Crown, would be found strewn across most of our screenscapes. Peppered amongst these topics might be our anger towards our incapable leadership and of course, the greatest story of our times; climate shifts and the death of our natural planet. If we were to tally the troops of hope versus despair; I dare say the latter would amass a much greater army… though of course I AM generalising.

Hidden amongst it all might be some less valued, yet possibly more important, personal stories. Of the lives we are living, right here, right now, day to day. Food, babies, dogs and socially valued outings are of course a given. Yet I am talking about those moments that communicate a much more intimate existence. Experiences which touch and move our hearts, challenge or inspire our Souls, and reveal our universal struggle to live a connected life. Such stories are often hidden from the world because they expose a tenderness, a vulnerability and the possibility of rejection. Yet these are our true stories… often told in poetry or art, tears and laughter…. They expose who we are in a dangerous climate, and so perhaps Twitter is not necessarily the place to reveal them. However they must find a home, and I would venture that they may indeed be the swords we best take into battle as we face the great Monsters of our times.

And so let us look at this Monster; for, just as the Buddha faced Mara, Jesus the Devil, and the Avengers Thanos (a derivative of Thanatos, the Greek personification of Death)… our mythopoetic history makes it clear... facing the demon is the only pathway to liberation. But what maketh a Monster?

Is it their size? The Crown bearer is smaller than the eye can imagine…

Is it their strength? Can a nightmare move a mountain, or even a grain of sand?

Perhaps it is nothing to do with the Monster itself, only the place it occupies in our own psyche.

I have avoided using a name thus far, though it appears that avoidance is no solution, in fact that is arguably the most nutrient dense food we can feed a demon. Coronavirus COVID-19. There I said it. Hmmm, perhaps not as dangerous a word to speak as I had imagined… or is it? What does your body do when it hears those words? Where does your mind go? Does it speak to you of statistics; that perhaps half the world are likely to contract this virus, and if so 1 in, say, 50 are likely to fall at its clawed hands? That there are currently 200 cases reported in your country, state, city? That gatherings of over 500 pose an unacceptable risk, but education, business and economic growth must continue as usual…

Perhaps instead it speaks to you of a loved one, whose job, age, or health might place them much more directly in the monster's path. Perhaps you are that loved one. For me, it is no doubt the latter two that is the stuff of nightmares. Am I ready to lose my beloved family members? Am I ready to lose my own life?

Let us then zoom out again; and witness another great “monster” of our times; the Climate Crisis. Having named it as such does it lose or gain power? Again it depends on the heart of the receiver. And again we might be drawn into the world of statistics; surrounding melting ice, rising sea levels, desertification, climate refugees, species loss, hectares or bushland taken by fires…. And on… and on…. and on. And of course, we might also turn our hearts to stories of sacred places of our childhood, once brimming with the verdant goddess of nature and her creatures, many known personally to us… now destroyed, or at risk. Or the heartbreak of a friend who lost everything, when those fires and floods swept through their home. Perhaps increasingly it will be the loved one who was lost. Or perhaps it is you.

I begin to paint a grand picture of the great monsters of our times, and a mosaic of the personal losses we are likely encountering… day to day, week to week. Yet friends I am not here to add fear to the fire. Our politicians, news channels, and wounded parts of our Self are doing a good enough job of that… so let me share some thoughts on the possibilities that are on offer right now… and how that links to the only Hero we can truly empower… the Hero inside of all of us.

I read today of the huge reduction that Coronavirus measures has had on the carbon emissions of the Chinese nation. Of the slow in economic growth and the positive immediate impacts it has had on the environment. I have also heard them sing in the dark hours of the night; confined to the cells that are their homes… yet connected by hope and struggle.

I have witnessed the collective and communal efforts that town after town experienced, in response to the bush fires that burnt our Country. Of how it brought people together, and brought light and life to the fight against climate crisis. And of friends who have walked their lands since the rains came, and been brought to tears by the green life that has re-emerged, and the little survivors that are still moving through the land.

Woven into it all; I have had friends, loved ones and family, share their day to day struggles, and victories, as they work with the mystery and madness of life. These stories are often told in much more intimate spaces.. A long car journey, a walk in the forest, a small campfire… a long overdue phone call. Some of you reading or listening to this would be counted amongst those.

I want to now bring this strange tangle of threads together.

What I am witnessing in my world (external and internal); is the eternal story of life, loss and love. Of the unavoidable struggle to survive, to find purpose, to accept the truth of death and loss, and to choose to love anyway. At the core of it all is a human’s irrepressible longing for deep connection. Connection to their Earth, their community, their life’s purpose and for those courageous enough, their true self. When we witness the effect that Monsters like Coronavirus have on those things… we respond. And we usually base those responses on either fear, or love. Or perhaps both. For it is love of our world, which creates a deep fear of loss.

FRIENDS LET US LOOK AT THAT FEAR… it is that same fear we experienced when our mother left us for the first time, when our father was not there to protect us from a threat, when we had to face death of a loved one, or our own death. It is the same fear that runs through our lives and keeps us small; avoiding following or revealing our hearts, revealing vulnerabilities and joining in on the game, speaking our mind, standing up for what we believe in, or being honest about our inability to cope with something in our lives.

We can project that fear out onto the world; and create monsters of a grand scale - that push us into anxiety, anger, panic or numbness. Then we can take this into our world, or run away from it. Either way it trickles into the collective energy… and feeds the Monsters still.

Alternatively, we can look at those projections, and ask ourselves where they truly reside…. what is really at risk here? What am I truly afraid to lose?

I dare say it will turn our attention away from the mass story, and back to the personal one. To the places and people we live with, day in, day out. To those intimate spheres of existence where we must play local Hero. Where we must feel into and accept all of the crazy fucking emotions and thoughts that pass through our beings, and continue anyway. Here is our true battle ground. Here we need to call on our inner Hero again and again, and do whatever it takes to love, in spite of the risks of loss. For those losses are the greatest we will feel.

Yet here the old saying, it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all, rings so deeply in our human hearts. For what greater tragedy, than to have withheld our love, not just for others, but for ourselves… when we might have instead opened.

And so to bring it back to the great collective story; the one where Crown wearing Monsters strike fear and panic into the world, or we feel the great despair of the loss of our natural Earth mother… for here the two intertwine beautifully; as represented by the un-expected effects that a global monster can have.

Firstly, it unites us, it brings to awareness that we are indeed all intimately connected to each other and everything. A beautiful realisation that yearns for deepening, through exploring the greater mystery of existence of spiritual connection and of the expansiveness of our self.

However, I think more importantly right now, it brings us home. Confined and crowded public spaces no longer serve.... Nor do social obligations, or journeys of great distance. We begin to rely on what is local, at the physical, social and emotional level. Reduced emissions and localisation aside, this is a beautiful thing. If we are forced to retract our sphere of existence to our own backyard; literally contained to our home, or family or to the intimacy of small groups… then we are given a great opportunity. To fully bring ourselves, present and vulnerable, into those places and to CONNECT. This is where our inner Hero might truly save our life, and the planet, in the same graceful movement.

Freed from our external claws of distraction we might sit with the trees and birds in our backyard, tend to our garden beds, drink tea with a neighbour, wander the quiet bushlands or beaches in our homelands or take to localised travel, by foot and bicycle, wherever we are called. In it we might share much more intimate experiences not just with our loved ones, but with our neighbours, the natural world, and of course our Self. And although there will be challenges; financial, relaitional, personal… there will likely be terror and panic... and there will be death, always... yet with the reminder that death is an ever present companion in the walk of life, we might be asked to surrender a little more into these precious moments of intimacy. Into our true Hero Self. And Reclaim our Crown. For what is a life lived if not in this place, this moment, this body, this Soul?

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kacheeking · 7 years

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the lost years/months/days

haven’t revisited/thought about things that I’ve been reading on my own terms for a while, but this was the last time I was taking note roughly from July 2015 to May 2016:

no. 3 shit i’ve been reading: circa march 2016

Fasting Girls: The History of Anorexia Nervosa – Joan Jacobs Brumberg (Found this incredibly illuminating re: sainthood and 16/17th century starvation in the name of religion. Made me think more about the intersections of appetite, power, religion and how this came to a head in that age. The Victorian era sections were also really interesting, I think since I’ve never thought specifically about how food and physical appetite came into the picture even though I’ve known so much about social mores of the time and how that would have been in line? I think reading this overall, esp when they started getting closer to the modern age, I just held this sheer sense of being appalled by medical practice and how eating disorders were treated, viewed and patients subjected to unfair/uncomfortable/even dangerous power dynamics. Feel like it’s so difficult to be a woman, though it’s improving, and my feminist self balked at so much that went on in the book re: this screwed up relationship between physical appetite (sexual and food-related), madonna-whore complexes, freedoms and rebellions and how in the face of so much external pressure women turn inwards and into and on themselves.)

Living Beautifully – Pema Chodron (Last Buddhist book that we had to read for class as part of a course that aimed at understanding the conception of “self” through various lenses e.g. psychoanalytic, evolutionary-biology, religious, etc. Still struggle to reconcile a lot of Buddhist concepts with the reality of a modern nation-state framework that we have to live in. Can see its merits on an individual level but in class, was agitated when the professor seemed to dismiss/relegate discussions of privilege, and power to the sidelines, or equate sufferings that in my mind seem absolutely incompatible. Maybe I’m not “enlightened” yet? Maybe I don’t want to be.)

Brave New World – Aldous Huxley (Liked this more than other sci-fi that i’ve picked up. Can see why it’s a “classic”. also read this at a time when i was very much alone/wanted the experience of solitude. want to pick up more sci-fi in future, wondering why i was biased against this genre in the past??)

Devotional Poems – Joe Hall (didn’t seem clean enough, like some phrases were superfluous/didn’t add anything to the force of a poem. a lot of imagery, sound and fury but with no object or point. cacophonous but i didn’t enjoy this collection)

Once in the West – Christian Wiman (really enjoyed this. at first was disappointed – somehow poems that have monosyllable lines or single word lines strike me as irregular/ineffective (?) but this is unwarranted bias i suppose because a lot of the poems ended up having an unexpected resonance. reading wiman and also other poets in class i think you gain an appreciation for what objectively good poetry is. people say that art is subjective but that’s some bullshit at least at the preliminary stages because being an editor for a creative literary magazine i have read a LOT of bad writing and it is clearly not subjective. anyway, what was i on? always enjoy religious/devotional poetry specifically, and most of the time it is circa 16th/17th century, but wiman combines the modernist poetic aesthetic with something enduring and that always wins me over.)

Why be happy when you can be normal? – Jeanette Winterson (read this over two days, and by that i mean it took slightly over 2+/3 hours to get through it all maybe? incredibly easy to read which was why it went so quickly. liked this a lot and want to read more by winterson)

Nobody is ever missing – Catherine Lacey (read this over three days but grew more exasperated as it progressed. think i’m done with self-indulgence/characters who i perceive as self-indulgent. there is more draw for me, now, i think, to contemplate urgencies to others instead of urgencies only to yourself. i want to read not about escapism but about handling ties to history, ties to others, ties that threaten to envelope you but also uplift. this novel was about a woman who leaves a decent life to stay in a sullen silent space of isolation and somehow i cannot accept that anymore.)

numero dos: shit i’ve been reading circa jan 2016

Completed

The Bone Clocks – David Mitchell (i liked this and the fact that david mitchell writes so comfortably and well about/when placing his narrative in irish/english contexts. re: this book, i guess we handle/respond to mortality differently. the dystopian end made me think about wanting to recycle/be more environmentally-conscious) – January

Civilization and its discontents – Sigmund Freud (read this for class, again with all freud that i’ve read, some resonates and some i call total bullshit on (everything related to his gender theory tbh).

Man’s Search for Himself – Rollo May (read this for class. every time i read something approximating insightful about self-knowledge i somehow find a crack of doubt that then spreads across the text. there was a short segment about physicality and self-consciousness that i could see be true (and even then only in my context), but i lie in the crevice and believe that the self is unknowable so maybe this class is really just an exercise in futility 4 me?)

A General Theory of Love – Lewis et. al. (read for class again. Generally found this interesting, esp because it put a scientific spin on a theory of attachment and human connection. felt like the presence of objective science, though that is debatable, gave credence to the kind of subjective emotions we have all felt, and so was comforting in some small way.)

February: The Moral Animal – Robert Wright (for class again. basically an evolutionary biology perspective/explanation of morality. Interesting to see but idk, something about attributing so many things/our choices, etc. to biology feels inherently…wrong? but maybe that’s his point.)

Mlodinow, Leonard. Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior (fascinating but Mlodinow jumps around a lot when writing and it makes me less inclined to believe him?)

What the Buddha Taught – Rahula (feel like the more I read about Buddhism, the more confused I am esp wrt to its metaphysical concepts. felt like a good introduction to something that’s been familiar all my life but i’ve never gotten to know intellectually. but there is something inherent about “unknowable” concepts that may be just shy of religious concepts, but still unacceptable to me)

Four Quartets – TS Eliot (probably one of the best collections of poetry that i’ve ever read. eliot goes into abstractions but grapples with the heart of the matter and there is anguish and brazen honesty and no hesitance to be ugly if that makes sense. need to reread this, probably aloud)

The Monk and the Philosopher – jean-françois revel, matthieu ricard (complicates/simplifies the ideas of buddhism? I can’t quite make up my mind. but the comparison to philosophy and subjecting it to the kind of ‘scientific’ and dialectical method was useful for me to understand it further. that is, beyond metaphors. side note: am q taken with this format of prose—conversation printed)

shit i’ve been reading circa July 2015

Not that kind of girl – Lena Dunham (felt pretentious at a lot of points) – July

The diving bell and the butterfly – Jean Dominique Bauby (quite good) – July

Madness – Marya Hornbacher (this made me cry) -July

Eat and Run – Scott Jurek (motivation to run as all books about running are) – July

AWOL on the Appalachian trail – David Miller (gets boring if you haven’t been to the AT)

The Omnivore’s Dilemma – Michael Pollen (liked this. made me think about my choices and the exact ethical structure behind it – read also: consider the lobster by david foster wallace for a similar/alternative perspective) – August

What I talk about when I talk about running – Haruki Murakami (long time coming to read this, perfect short prose about the draw of running. feel like most people who enjoy running and associate it with thinking/contemplation will get it) – August

Bad feminist – Roxane Gay (brutal at points, beautiful mostly) – August

Under the banner of heaven – Jon Krakauer (this was incredible. well-researched and comprehensive but extremely smooth narrative about mormon fundamentalism.) – September

Valley of the Dolls – Jacqueline Susann (enjoyed this) – September

Consider the Lobster – David Foster Wallace (title essay is a gem, the rest ranged from obscure to mildly intriguing) – September

Everything I Never Told You – Celeste Ng (above average) – November

The People’s Republic of Amnesia – Louis Lim (emotional reporting, slated to go one way, but expectedly so) – November

History of Chinese Philosophy – Wing-Tsit Chan (need to reread, slowly, and in detail)

Drinking: A Love Story – Caroline Knapp (well-written and need to stop reading memoirs on vice/transferable behaviours) – November

Modern Romance – Aziz Ansari (ok. choice) – November

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius – Dave Eggers (liked this a lot, eggers has great arrogant style that works) – December

Slade House – David Mitchell (perfect short read. thrilling. fantasy.) – December

Fates and Furies – Lauren Groff (liked this but it ) – December

The Wind-up Bird Chronicle – Haruki Murakami (took a while to get into, but enjoyed this, esp folding routines that appeared in the book into my mind. there is a quietness that steals its way through the pages when the protagonist makes his sandwiches, thinks, goes deep into dry wells) – December

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