#anyway I'm scheduling meetings with some profs this week so dw about me\

[llycaons]

I am feeling. what do they say. burned out. I am graduating in less than three months while becoming increasingly convinced that my personality is not suited to this field in such a way that I could make it work, but the mental and emotional toll it would take would drain of the relatively few resources I have. if I don't find a very specialized job with a ton of very supportive, very communicative, and very patient co-workers and supervisors, I'm looking shit out of luck

also. I have zero motivation to do the research assignments. it's so frustrating because I really tried but I still can't tell what I'm actually supposed to be writing about so it's like trying to grasp an eel underwater in the dark. whatever, I guess I'll just see what people post and go off that

#I'm constantly running into my own shortcomings and being frustrated by them #because I don't consider them personal faults but in the context of what I have to do...I mean there are just things I can't do #and im so sick of feeling inadequate for it #I don't want to spend my whole life drowning in unachievable standards #I never would have done this if there was a less extreme path I could take that would have gotten me out of my home and doing something #that would have still paid decently #fuck capitalism etc. I just want to be comfortable and feel good about doing things I feel confident in #while not having to worry about safety or medical care #I mean I could return to my old job that was fine but i felt I was suffocating and I'm also very much more in debt now #so I don't really have a choice #I made a very bold move and I'm worried it was the wrong choice #and I don't want to inflict any harm #absolute worst nightmare #but if I manage to make it work it would be. incredible I guess #but I'm not much of an optimist about it #anyway I'm scheduling meetings with some profs this week so dw about me\ #cor.txt