#and yeah. sighh i am down so bad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

after-nine-at-the-oasis · 9 months

Text

I JUST FINISHED EPISODE FIVE AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

GUESS WHAT'S PLAYING ON REPEAT IN MY HEAD!!! IT'S "YOU KISSED MY BOYFRIEND?" :'DDDD!!!

I HOPE Y'ALL ARE ENJOYING LAUGHING AT MY PAIN 😭😭😭 no genuinely I hope it helps soften this for you lol

I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine

Anyway 🤪✌️ let's get going :)

CARLOSSSSSS 😭😭😭😭😭💔💔!!!! I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU GUYS BUT NO ONE IS GOING THROUGH IT AS MUCH AS CARLOS EXCEPT MAYBE RICKY

YOU ALL JUST CAN'T MATCH UP

Anyway xD. I honestly felt SO bad for Carlos this episode. But you know what I didn't expect to come out of this storyline xd? The part of his conversation with Miss Jenn where they (the show) talked about the high standards for gay people in society, tied into Carlos's body and self esteem issues. Like?? Hello??? Honestly a slay?? I'm not gonna say it makes this WORTH IT, but still lol.

And, to be totally honest or a moment, the longer it goes on, the more okay I am with this storyline. Obviously I don't like "cheating gay" trope, but with Big Red explaining what happened I'm feeling a bit better about it. And I mean hey - it's angst. And also, it's a TV show, and people (especially tv characters lol) make mistakes. I'm not saying I've forgiven either of them yet lol, but I still love them.

Anyway! Back to my drama lol. Besides that serious stuff though Carlos and Miss Jenn's scene was HILARIOUS lol xD. Also, back on the serious stuff for a moment, I love how she acknowledged that it doesn't just go away, but promised to be there by his side through it :'). Beautiful <3.

Now. We'll be back to Carlos in a moment, because I'm gonna discuss Big Red and Ashlyn first lol.

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I WAS S O HOPING HE WOULDN'T SAY IT!!! Our greatest fears came true y'all 😭. Also I gotta say I LOVE that Ashlyn was defending Carlos. But also, since she was, and not really defending herself, I think that was a pretty sure sign that it was over xD. They were great, and now, they've grown up, and changed, and they're different :'). Honestly that scene made me feel better about the whole thing than anything else. It honestly kind of mad me okay with the storyline lol? Like I said, I'm loving the angst, and honestly? I just don't enjoy disliking things. Is this how I wanted it to go down, for any of them? No. But it's what I have :). Anyway, HUAOFWIZMOFKAGSKNL I WAS DYING THROUGHOUT THAT ENTIRE SCENE!!! Y'all the liveblogging of panic that was being sent to my sibling 😭😭 xD.

But AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH ASHLYN COMING OUT!!!! :'DDDD. And finally (it's been one episode lol) an explanation on what happened 😭. Yeah honestly I feel like that's the best possible choice. My mans (as in men) just let the impulsive thoughts win 😌 /hj xDD. Or, the best possible option I guess, lol. Anyway, that honestly was the most beautiful breakup ever :'D. They just. . . genuinely were on the same page :'). Given that Redlyn's the last OG ship left (besides Seblos, but yk, they're B-U-R-N-T lol xD they better be fine though -.-), it does feel a bit bittersweet :'). Mostly bitter lol xd. I just- sighh. It's better this way for both of them, but I will miss them :'/. Ash is right - it really does feel like the end of an era x'd. Ahh, my babeys <3.

Goodbye and Rest in Peace, Redlyn <3. You were wonderful :').

Also at this time I'd like to once again bring up the fact that we were jokingly considering Big Rashlyn as the ship name LOL. Wayyy back in the day xD. Anyway lol.

Oh and also, I like that Big Red actually DID pick up on the Maddox and Ashlyn thing lol :'). Good for him xD. Also, it kinda shows again that he and Ash had changed really early on :( :').

Now, back to Carlos lol xd. Yeah, we're doing this part a bit chronologically since it involves all three of them and the background is important for both sides of it lol (Big Red and Ashlyn as one side because their scene was together lol). STOPPPP Caros wanting the international tea 😭😭💔 honey I'm so sorry but this meeting is about to crash and burn :'(( <33. And then I just- BIG RED!! THIS IS THE WORST THING YOU'VE DONE SO FAR!! WORSE THAN KISSING SEB!!! YOU TOLD CARLOS, NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT THE GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS PART, BY DOING A DOUBLE THUMB POINT!!!! Okay, maybe it's on equal footing with smiling while you told Ash xD, BUT STILL!!!! Y'all 😭. Seriously I rewatched that part like three times though. Just like, those 30 seconds of them talking. Carlos's HURT is just what gets to me 😭💔. The hurt and heartbreak and anger in his voice just K I L L E D M E!!! I'm not okay 😭😭😭❤️💔. But honestly I loved it lol xd because it was just SO. GOOD!! Also "I'm very fond of you" 😭😭😭😭 STOP. That whole line honestly - like I said, the whole conversation xdd 😭😭💔❤️. I love them so much and this hurts <33.

Also, I could insult Big Red by saying you don't have to worry about the self conscious side of it anymore Carlos, but I will not because that was a joke my brain made that I don't believe anyway xD. I mean, obviously Seb doesn't feel that way, but you know lol.

Anyway!! I am super stressed and not at all ready :')). Especially because the next episode started a little bit before I could pause it (and then the disney+ logo bit just. disappeared from the runtime lol) and I SAW THAT CARLOS'S SHIRT IS THE ONE HE HAS ON IN OVER AGAIN!!! LIKE I'M PRETTY SURE!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!! It took me a minute of having it paused at the very beginning of the recap but then when I registered it I was like o.o xD. Anyway!

Going from those three into Ash, honeyyy 😭😭😭😭😭💔💔. Madison picking up 😭😭 :'(((. It's okay honey, I'm sure Maddox still likes you, it's probably a misunderstanding D':. Maybe they were breaking up and Maddox didn't answer because she was upset lol. Anyway xD! I felt so bad for her 😭😭. Also AAHHHH HER CLEANING OUT HER LOCKER HIGDKZOSMP 😭😭😭. Like of their pictures :'((. But I was also like xD "chill girl they're still your friends 😭 xD" lol. Maybe she left like one of Big Red so he's equal to her other friends xD. I justified she didn't have multiple of Maddox :((. But, anyway, ouch <3333.

AAAAAHHHHHHHH KOURTNEYYYY!! I'M SO HAPPY FOR HER :'DDDD. Obviously this whole thing is still scary, but she just seems genuinely happy here :'). I don't think we would've seen that if we watched her visit an Ivy League. And then the song being her sign 😭😭😭- stop, don't talk to me <33. It was perfect :')). And AAAHHHHHH IT WAS SO GOOD!!!!! GIRL YOU SLAYED S O H A R D :DDDD!!! WHOOOO ❤️❤️🤩🥰😍🥳🥳😭❤️❤️. Good crying lol <3. It was just amazing :'D. And again, I'm just so happy that she's happy 🥰. Obviously it's still scary, and anxiety-inducing, and weird, but I think she feels a tiny bit more confident in her journey now :'). And hopefully, she can enjoy the year a little bit more <3. Also, I love how surprised they all looked when she started singing xD. A very real reaction lol. And as they SHOULD, she is amazing :DDDD. I love her so much <3333.

AAAHHHHHH EJ!!!! HE'S HERE :DDDD!!! Well I mean, he's not here lol, he's there, but you know xD. HE'S ARRIVED ON THE SHOWWW!!! Lol xD. Anyway!! AAHHHH He's thriving so much :'D. And he's away from his dad :')). I'm honestly just so happy for him <333. Also, it seems like he may mayhaps (just go with it - lol call me ginain 1x05- anyway xD) have a thing going on with Val 👀👀? Good for you EJ :'D. I'm happy for you :') 🥰. He deserves this so much <333. Also, that SONG!!! IT WAS AMAZING 😭😭❤️❤️❤️. And AYYY they finally let Matt play guitar :D xD. I love him so much lol <3. EJ and Matt :).

RINA!! Okay so Ricky first, man was going through it 😭😭💔❤️. I definitely think he really needed that time with EJ <3. And honestly just, time away in general. But not alone :). But like, between seeing how EJ is flourishing (especially given what EJ said at the end), and being outside of everything and being able to look at it with an outside perspective (from himself and EJ), it was what he needed :'). Also that tough love was really what he needed 😭 xD. Seriously though, EJ saying basically that he would do anything for Gina, and the she deserves the best? 😭😭😭😭😭😭💔❤️❤️ Stop, I'm not okay <3333. But seriously, their conversation was just SO. GOOD. And the ACTING bro don't even get me started on how amazing everyone's acting has been 😭😭💔❤️. But Ricky crying? Dang that hit HARD!! And yeah, EJ said exactly what he needed to hear. A little comfort in the way of having faith of him, a little tough love, and just plain old love. He's finally starting to heal, to not run, and I just love that so much for him :')). I'm so happy for Ricky 😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰 :')). He deserves this <3.

Also them hugging and saying I love you 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️. I can't dude I love them so much <333. They really are brothers :')).

Though I've gotta say that right after/during that I was like "and after you keep stealing his girlfriends too :')" AND THEN THEY BASICALLY SAID THAT SLFJGHDKGJLS XDD!! That part was amazing lol, on its own too xD. And also the guitar :'D. Lovely <333.

GINAAA!!! GIRL YOU WERE SLAYING SO HARD THIS EPISODE :DDD! GIRL SHE WAS SLAYING SO HARD THIS EPISODE :DDDD!!! Like all the filming?? YES girl go off :O :DD!! Although I am kinda like. "Bestie the rehearsal xD." still lol, but to be fair that still wouldn't have been enough xD. Anyway, I'm glad Mack got to have dinner with them and honestly just be kinda normal for a bit :). Like, him trying to pay? Nah, dude :). And hey, Gina's doing what she said :p. She's training him how to live life a bit :'D. Also Gina's mom liking him was sus 😭😭. I mean like, sus in a :'((( way because she likes him and would let Gina date him but that's just because he's successful DD':. And that's rude frankly :'((. I mean it's more than rude but still lol. And then YES Gina honestly ska <33 stad up to her :)). I know you love her but she ain't perfect and she needs to know what you have to say <3.

And then, that last scene (with Rina). AAAAHHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. Y'all I was freaking out and then HE SAW MACK AND HE TURNED AWAY AND I WAS ABOUT TO LOSE MY MIND I SWEAR, BUT THEN AAAAAHHHHHHHHH GINA SAW HIM :DDDD!!! AND I WAS SCARED SHE WOULD BE TOO LATE BUT P H E W SHE WASN'T 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰 :'DDD!!! AND AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH SHE TOLD HER MOM ABOUT THEM :'DDDD!!!!!! AND AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH WAS THAT SECOND CHANCE PLAYING??? BUT I JUST WPXIGUSNMOSMLOAUNPA AND THEN THE K I S S S S S!!!! Y'ALL THAT WAS SO GOOD 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. AND IT WAS SO CINEMATIC!!! AAAHHHHHHH I JUST LOVED IT SO MUCH :'DDDDDD.

Also side note Ricky calling EJ 😭😭💔❤️ :')).

And then NOOOOOO THE SHOWWW 😭😭😭😭💔❤️❤️. Only Emmy and Miss Jenn being there :'((( 😭😭💔. I was hoping at least a few people would be :'(( but no D':. I mean I know they're all going tough it but 😭 DD':. Anyway that sucks really bad :((. Also what was the principal doing before he came in that he was so happy about lol. Anyway xD.

Accidentally am at the end of the episode and haven't done Miss Jenn yet (shhh might've forgotten xdd) SO here she is :D. Again her and Carlos's scenes were wonderful 😭😭😭❤️❤️. I just love her being there for him :'))). And him for her 🥰🥰. And you know what? We deserve this. We deserve sad Carlos who gets comfort 😤😤😌. Does it hurt? Yes xd. But it's GOOD 😭❤️❤️❤️ MH <333. Anyway xD. Poor Miss Jenn overall though :'((. Especially with the show 😭😭 DD':. I love her though <333

And poor Emmy too :'((. Honey's just trying her best <33. And I mean she literally came to this school for the musical and to be with them D':. Poor girl 😭😭❤️ <333. Plus Carlos said Seb was the only reliable theatre kid but now there's Emmy :'((( :'). She is, but no one else was there 😭💔. Anyway she's slaying as always :'( <333.

Oh also I forgot to mention it but 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔 CARLOS SITTING IN THE STAIRWELL WITH IT RAINING LOOKING AT PICTURES OF SEB KILLED ME 😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔❤️. Also the caption said something about "my favorite person" or something like that so ha I'm fine :'))). Heh :'))). Also, WE HAD NO IDEA HOW DEPRESSING THESE SCENES REALLY WERE 😭😭😭😭💔💔. Like from the promo pics xdd 😭😭. First Halloween now this 😭. Like this one looked sad unless you were like me and thought it as just his skater outfit for a second :')), but still it was WAY worse 😭😭😭💔 DD':. Anyway it killed me thank you :)) :')) :'(( <3333.

Maddox, Jet, Seb, and Nini - we miss you :')) ❤️😭💔❤️❤️🥰. I have no clue where Maddox and Jet were but you know xD.

This episode was so amazing. I loved it so much :'DD. Like, yes, it caused me immensely, immeasurable pain, but it was SO GOOD. The EMOTIONS this episode!! And every episode tbh lol. Like I said, I haven't mentioned it much as of yet, but the acting is absolutely PHENOMENAL!!! And just overall y'all I am so not okay with this show 😭😭😭❤️💔💔 xdd. Like, not okay over this show lol. Anyway xD. I'm so scared for the next episode, and the next few episodes. And I'm also SO FREAKING EXCITED!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Y'all I think we might get Over Again next episode :'D (nearly said week lol). That would heal my broken heart a bit <3.

Oh also, input on everything this far from my sibling through my updates (panicked texts): SEB WOULD NEVER THE WRITERS ARE WRONG. Summarized a bit, but it wasn't much longer than that lol. So yeah, that <3 xD. I agree but I'm still okay with the storyline lol. Again - I'm just enjoying what I've got :).

Anyway!! Yeah :)). Wonderful episode- OH YEAH!!! THE MUSIC WAS S O GOOD!!!! I know I talked about them individually but it was just AMAZING :'DDD!!! Both songs were so amazing, thank you very much for those 🥰🥰. I loved them :'D. And again, that Second Chance motif killed me <3.

But yeah!! I'm so nervous and so excited :))).

NOW IT'S TIME FOR EPISODE 6!!!!

#hsmtmts #oasis's hsmtmts chatter #high school musical the musical the series #hsmtmts s4 #high school musical the musical the series season 4 #hsmtmts spoilers #these just keep getting looonger snd longer lol #as I should've expected xDD #or maybe as I did lol idk #makes sense for me though xD #I just didn't really think about it #anyway!! I live in fear :DD #so so much fear :)))#and I will absolutely d i e during over again <333 #absolutely as in guaranteed but also as in totally - that works too lol #like an enhancing adjective for the dying xD #anyway lol #yeah awesome episode <3333 #still freaking out not okay and losing my mind thank you :)))#oh also kourtney's mom (and that girl who gave her the tour the friend's daughter :) ) SLAYS every time #we stan <333 #we stan her so hard 😌😌😌🥰🥰❤️ <3 #xD anyway yeah lovely all around this episode 🥰🥰🥰 <333 #see y'all in a bit!!!#or lol #see you guys on the other side xDD #of the episode lol #wish me luck <333 hope I survive 🙏🤞 xD <3 #as in I'm asking you to hope that lol xD anyway #let's do this :)) <33!!

3 notes · View notes

teddybeartoji · 2 months

Note

hi mickey!! i’ve been on an off adhd meds for about 4 years so i’ll tell you my experiences with the two i’ve been on ☺️

the first one i was ever on was adderall and the first day i took it i genuinely got the worst stomach ache of my life. had to leave school early it was sooooo bad. but that happened ONCE and then never again so it was all good. genuinely helped me focus, for the 2ish weeks i was on it i did really well in school which was abnormal to me. i was on the lowest dosage though and i felt like i became kind of immune to it very quick so they upped me to the next dose and i unfortunately cant remember how that went at all but i figure it didn’t do much for me bc i switched meds.

the med i’ve been on longer is vyvanse which i have a love hate relationship with…bc. well. it makes me genuinely sick, like it just completely gets rid of your appetite. the idea of food, smelling food, looking at it, eating it. just can’t do it. i either eat before it or when it first kicks in bc unfortunately if you don’t eat while you’re on it the effects are worse. like you have to fight through the sickness so you don’t feel sicker? it also makes me wayyyyy social, takes away so much of my anxiety and makes me feel happy. my therapist said it’s because adhd can manifest as anxiety often times so it’s counteracting that. i don’t have an active prescription but i had one last year so literally like 2 weeks ago i had to do a shit tone of homework and i took the rest of my pills over the course of the week. and i got soooooooooooo much more work done than i did all quarter so that was great.

the crash after is INSANE though. it’s not uncommon to feel like super sad when it wears off and i vividly remember crying in school at the end of the day once bc it was wearing off and i started having an existential crisis. the nap after also crazy like just totally knocked out for hours. and the focusing and happiness will be gone but the icky stomach feeling will linger until u eat.

that’s just my experience but i hope it helped a bit :)

HII RO<333333 THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS WITH MEEE!!!!!! it's so good to hear genuine experiences bc they can just differ so so so much. i had never heard about vyvanse so i wrote that one down for myself.

it sucks that the side effects can vary so much........ like damn can the medication just be Medication instead of taking away one thing and replacing that with like three smaller things??????? pls. when i got my antidepressants my friend told me all about her first two weeks (we had the same meds with the same dosage). she was like yeah you definitely have to eat before you take them or you'll get super sick, you have to take them almost at the exact time every day or you'll get sick + she had like stomach aches and she felt like she was gonna throw up a lot so she was just constantly chewing gum for the first two weeks and that scared the fuck out of me. bc. that's a lot of things lmao like is it even worth it all of that???? but then i had absolutely none of that NONE OF IT. the only time i feel sick is when i forget to take them...... but it's still good to know how it is for other so i can atleast BE READY FOR IT.

ok but you don't take them daily though right? just when you know you're gonna be more busy? is that just because you don't feel like you have to take them daily or you don't want to? my friend kind of does the same but the thing is... i am literally unemployed rn and i don't have school or anything but i still feel like i can't focus on anything so i'd probably be taking them on a daily basis anyway.. and i'm just wondering whether that's a bad thing or not. maybe it just depends on how well they actually work and whether or not they give me any big side effects............ sighh it's so upsetting that you just have to Try Them. pay for the session buy the meds probably suffer for some time just as an experiment lmao i love it

it's really good to hear that it helps with your anxiety too btw!!! i didn't know that it could do that and this is just making me wanna try it out even more i'd love to Not Be Anxious. whew what a crazy thought.

but i am very very very scared of the appetite loss though bc well...... i struggle with that anyway i just kind of forget about it and it's such a big task so the thought of taking something that could possibly make that even worse.............. is scary lmao this was one of the things my psychiatrist warned me about too

oh and also the crash after it......................... MMMMMMMM yeah that's a bit scary too just considering i tend to go through every single feeling and emotion on a daily basis anyway thanks to my good old friend autism. SIGHHHHH WHY IS IT HARD BEING OFF MEDS AND WHY IS IT HARD BEING ON MEDS PLSSSS

oke i kinda yapped but genuinely THANK YOUUU FOR TELLING ME ABOUT UR EXPERIENCE!!!!! now i know what to expect a bit more!!!! i hope you're having a good good day<333 love u MWAHH

#THANK UUUUUUU #i appreciate u sm!!!!#gonna go and look for an appointment time rnnnn #sigh i love being an experiment #ro <3 #friends!!

0 notes

kadssp · 2 years

Note

Todays been shit there was a bug in my bathroom my cat threw up all over the stairs and my cheater ex was texting me,, so have some soft springtrap

Despite being a mean bully like 90% of time springs can be nice and gentle when he wants to be. He almost never says it but he genuinely does care. I mean,, youre the first person to talk and be nice to him in 30 years. Of course he cares.

He's not too adept with emotions (other than horny,,) so it takes him a bit to realize that youre genuinely having a bad day rather than just being a brat to get him in the mood and/or piss him off. He finally picks up that you're not okay when you swat his robotic hand away when he tries feeling up your thigh, and you roll away from him and wrap yourself up in a blanket.

He's a horny mean old rabbit but he knows when his little bunny needs him to be soft with her. Gently he picks you up off the couch and slides you in his lap with him down on the floor, cradling you close to his furry, disheveled chest. He'll take his robotic fingers and brush the hair out of your eyes, and will let you vent if you need too. His hands are still possesive as they lay on you, but he's not trying to get you in the mood like he normally does. He holds you real tight against him and might even start to purr if you wrap your little arms around him and stroke his fur. Springs can't kiss you but he nuzzles his rabbit nose against your neck and cheeks, his ego welling up again when he makes you smile.

If you fall asleep with him holding you his ego will blow up even bigger (if its possible). Its really tempting to feel you up right then but he refrains. Perhaps later he can give you some stress relief. But for now he's perfectly content holding his sleepy baby bunny close.

"Come here, bunny. Let me take a look at ya. Don't pout at me, now come here... There you are. No, no I'm not planning anything. I just wanna... hold you a bit. Wh- I am being serious! If i wanted something else you'd already know it by now. Just.. be still. Lemme just hold you a bit. See? Im not as mean as you say I am. Well, not all the time. You had a bad day, huh? Yeah, I could tell. It's okay bunny, it's over now. Just relax a bit, alright? I promise I'm not gonna be rough with you... Oh, just look at you. Even now you're trembling. Cute little bunny. My little bunny. Just relax my pretty girl. Let this bucket of bolts just hold you for a bit. We can save our normal routine for later."

-🍨 anon

i gatekept this dont be mad at me </3 it’s been a rough week so i’ve been rereading this almost every hour or chance ive been free :(

sighh springs i’d do anything for one day with the crazed murderous decaying rabbit animatronic i love you 🍨 anon kissing you rn /p

#🌻 . kadi answers #🌻 . kady answers #🌻 . kandi answers #🍰 . general #🍬 . anons #🍬 . 🍨 anon

12 notes · View notes

rosecoloredknight · 5 years

Text

i got tagged by @splitzko !! i’m so sorry about the late response, i promise it won’t happen again. anyways, thank you

rules: so it’s answer 21 questions and tag 21 people? i’ll tag a few people, but not 21!!!

nickname: brick and poncho!! poncho is my childhood nickname, which i used to dislike? i would always be like ?? my name is Alfonso, why are my grandparents calling me ponchito? however, i grew into it haha 😊👍

zodiac sign: virgo (i have no idea the purpose of zodiac signs tho!! oh well)

height: 5′8 small!! i’m a smol bean

hogwarts house: ravenclaw!!!! where my raveclaws at?! *putting my hands up or a high five* 🙌

last thing i googled: well there’s two things i last googled simultaneously. firstly, supernatural season 15 --- this is literally the only show I have continued watching since it came out. it’s in it last season so i’m just trying to get a scoop on the spoilers. secondly, the dragon prince season 3 --- I AM HOOKED.

favorite musicians: ahhh -- okay there are so many!! here - https://open.spotify.com/user/227v7vawbicnv65zsbod6wcpq?si=pcR2vwueRyWD7qTOgImqcA this is my spotify account and there you can see all the artists/bands i follow!!

song stuck in my head: new start by weary friend

favourite time of the day: sighh what do you guys think about sunsets? those are my favorite. i can ramble about the best way to experience one, but. when the sun sets is my favorite time of the day.

favorite color: so here’s the thing.. i love colors- i have a thing about them-- each color remind me of certain emotions, memories, aspirations, etc. i used to feel so colorless inside, but now i try to fill this gap in my life with colors. BUT.. if i have to choose one.. dark green.

followers: 550 but i’m pretty sure 4/5 of them are bots! ha

following: 186 awesome blogs!

do i get asks: not really, but i appreciate it when i do

amount of sleep: oh boy, it used to be 5 hours, but i am slowly progressing to 7 hours!!! go me 😬😬😊

lucky number: 32

currently wearing: a cap that’s backwards (my hair is unmanageable, but i get to finally go cut my hair tomorrow!!), blue and black flannel, with a lion king t-shirt underneath, black pants, and brown loafers? i look like a hipster punk?

dream job: okay so i need to ramble a bit about this because i’ve just realized how passionate i am about it-- Licensed Clinical Social Worker or a Licensed Professional Counselor.. look, i love working with kids so much, in fact, i’m actually getting ready to work at my local catholic church for sunday classes with the kids!! sorry, back to the point- i love working with kids, i love talking with them through their problems, i love helping them figure out things within themselves, etc. i don’t want to say i have a knack for that because that would be ridiculous to state; that is something that has to be learned and improved on an on going basis, but at my previous job, kids would always come to me for with their problems, advice, an other things.. and i would actually help them!?! every friday before we would finish our weekly shift, we would have evaluations, i would always get called out by my director for the review he received from campers, about how i helped them through their problems, the advice i gave them, and i how i made their week in camp the best experience they had.. i was passionate about working in a foster care institution, and i still am, but maybe i could still work there as a counseling expert? of some sort? sighhhh- i rambled too much. sorry. but yeah i’d like to work as that 👆 all the way up there.😊😊

instruments: a little bit of piano and ukulele

languages: puedo ablar espanol y ingles

favorite songs: nope, NOPE, i’m not going there-- it’s a bunch of sad and cheesy, songs- i’ll spare you of that

random fact: i actually asked google voice for a random fact anddddd *drum roll*...Supai, Arizona is the only place in the US where the mail is delivered by mule. -- okay that’s freaking awesome and random haha

Aesthetic: ahh i’m so bad at this... the smell of baking, scented candles, sitting with your friends while each of you are quietly doing your own thing, reading a book that helps you calm down, sitting in the park while the sun is setting down, decorating your room here and there, and praying sigh especially praying. 😊

okay i’m going to tag a @almostolive @cultivatingkindness @fivelakes @avocadosand-evergreens @his-grace-abounds and @with-kindnessloveandcomfort i feel like i can actually tag more but i already feel bad doing this to the others ones so i am going to keep it this way. that being said, if i tagged you, you definitely don’t have to do it!! okay before i leave i just want to say one more, and off topic thing-- you’re awesome, yes YOU reading this. No, but seriously, I think all of you guys are really important and wonderful people-- stay you and take care guys. 😊😊

#tag!!#i'm it #personal

5 notes · View notes

coloremoving · 6 years

Text

LBC Episode 9 Review leggo~

Hmmm where should I start? It's currently 3+am in my country, I need to sleep 😴 but.. There's so much going on in Episode 9, I really want to talk about it so here goes.

I watched Episode 9 live then I quickly watch the Line TV version and to my surprise, the episode was already subbed?! 😱 Seriously, a huge thank you to JayBL for taking her time to sub for us hungry inter fans.

Now on to the first part - LOL Can again is being a whiny kid but how he kept rubbing his lips off cause of the kiss with Tin is seriously cute. And then you have Tin that snickered and said that Can finally shut up. Bro, you gonna need to keep doing that cause Can for sure ain't gonna shut up even if you guys are together. But that scene of Tin and Pete in their classroom.. I seriously want to slap Tin ugh. I salute Pete for defending Ae cause Tin needs to get through his head that not all people are bad, especially our Ae (and maybe Can). Now I really want to know what happened to Tin that got him like this. Oh, Pete being pissed at Tin was such a great scene to see. We rarely see Pete in such feeling, it's so satisfying to see so lol. But am I the only one that notice the slight change of Tin's face when he saw how pissed Pete is? Anyone? No? Nevermind. Anyway, Pond being nosy again and asked Pete whether they have sex or not and then you have Ping smacking his head. Man, I kept replaying that scene. Pond deserved that 😂 And then Chompoo came! I was wondering where did she go lol (I know some people, or is it majority? Don't like her but I heard she's a good person so I don't really mind her) And we have Pond being mischievous by saying that he wants to help Pete and make sure he gets Ae before Chompoo does lol. Then we have Pete meeting Ae but out of the sudden, Tin appeared?? I felt it was random. But it's a good thing cause Pond get to be mischievous again and try to make Ae jealous lol. You see that smirk Pond have? I LOVE IT.

Now move on to Part 2 - I'm not sure whether is it true that Pond is organising a porn party or he's just trying to force Ae to sleep at Pete's apartment so that they can do 'it'. If it's the latter, gotta salute Pond for being the captain of AePete haha. And we saw how he slipped in the condoms into Ae's bag and then start messaging. To those who've read the novel spoiler, he's actually messaging Pete to let him know that Ae is coming. I seriously love Pond here haha. And we finally get to see our cutie Good again! I seriously miss him. Our P'No being clueless of Can (again) lol but really, Can need to stop being 'annoying' if he tone down, I would have really like him. (Sorry not sorry) Ae finally came to Pete's apartment and being a sweet boyfriend, bought lots of food for both of them. Notice how their height difference aren't that big during that scene? 😂 Pond's plan worked cause you have Ae asking Pete if he really see Tin as his friend only. "He's a friend. I only have a feeling for you. Otherwise, I wouldn't.." Yeah, Pete. What do you mean 'you wouldn't'? 😏 But did you guys saw that Ae still have not taken off his sneakers? My asian ass is feeling irked about it lol and Pete isn't wearing any shoes (and talking about this, in Episode 8 when they checked out the apartment, they're walking with their shoes on and I'm like NO) Ooo Pete being a cutie after his shower and he updated his status in facebook after looking at Ae fondly sighhhh 😍. I was wondering why in facebook his name is Peach then I remember they have other names beside their nickname lol. Wait, it seems we have a slight uncut version in this part two? Cause I remember for sure there was no scene of Ae saying that he's hard live 😏 But what have you done, Ae? You stood up Pete again and then you see Pete being pouty. Sooo cute! 😚

FINALLY, THE LONG AWAITED SCENE IS HERE! Ae asking Pete if he's mad at him. Well, obviously duh. I really like how Pete was whiny about it and express that he too wants to have sex with Ae but Ae always stood him up lol. "I even cleaned it for you." "Because if it's you, I don't mind the pain." Fuck Pete, please stop being so cute (and being a 'salad' lol) ughh. NO WONDER THE CUT SCENE FOR PART THREE WAS SO WEIRD AND FUNNY. LIKE, I JUST NEED TO BLINK A FEW TIMES AND THE SCENE IS DONE SO IM LIKE??? BUT FCK, THE UNCUT SCENE WAS SO HOT. IT WAS SO UNEXPECTED FOR ME. I do wish they showed how Pete was undressed bUT THAT'S OKAY. THERE'S SO MUCH GOING ON. I WASN'T EXPECTING A LOT OF KISSING?? I MEAN I'M EXPECTING SEXY TIME LIKE LOTS OF GROPING ETC SO YEAH, EXCUSE MY DIRTY MIND. AND DID YOU GUYS HEAR THE NOISE THEY MADE WHEN THEY KISSED??? ASDFGHJKL 😍 AND THEN WHEN AE STOP KISSING PETE AND LOOKED AT HIM, PETE JUST CHASE AE TO KISS HIM AGAIN I'M- /DEAD. AND THEN AE. FREAKING. KISS. PETE'S. CHEST ?!?! AHHHHHHH !!!! AND THEY KISSED AGAIN IM GOING CRAZY I CAN'T STOP PAUSING AND REWATCHING IT AND THEN SQUEAL ABOUT IT AND THEN KEEP REPEATING THE CYCLE ASDFGHJKL 😍😍😍 BUT I NEED TO SAID THIS. WRONG CHOICE OF SONGS TO USE DURING THE SCENE?? LIKE, I FELT IT DOESN'T MATCH THE MOOD IN MY OPINION. Anyway, of course we can't forget the sweet scene after that. How Ae kissed Pete's cheek twice, Pete still feeling shy and Ae spooned Pete while they sleep sighh can I have a relationship as sweet as them? But seriously tho. You can't just gave us a hot and sweet scene and then slap us with a sad TumTar scene. I honestly ended up not interested in them cause I'm still going crazy about AePete (no offense) But poor Tar. Even years after that tragedy, he's still pretty scarred.

Finally it's the last part of Episode 9!

"He helps you to eat shrimp, so you have to do all the assignments for him this semester." "Anyhow, what kind of shrimps you are having? Why is it so expensive?" HAHAHAHHA PING PLEASE. EVEN IF AE DIDN'T EXPLAIN, HE KIND OF GETS IT LOL. CAN IS STILL NOT OVER THE KISS HAHAHAHAHAH POOR CAN And then Good suddenly can speak slightly faster than his usual slow way of speaking? LOL But fck, I guess he's thinking too much about the kiss scene that when he got hit on his head by a ball, he got a nosebleed lol And now everybody teased him about it 😂 Can must be so interested in Tin that he pulled Pete along with him just to ask whether Tin is gay or not lol and then he got tongue-tied explaining why he asked such questions lol. Anyway, THE PREVIEW FOR NEXT EPISODE. THE BATHTUB SCENE. AHHH!!! IT WAS NOT INCLUDED WHEN I WATCH IT LIVE SO THAT MEANS.. 😏😏😏 Now, another week of waiting for the next episode. AHHHH IM GOING CRAZY. I WANT TO REWATCH BUT IT'S TIME TO SLEEP SO GOODBYE 😘

#would love to hear your reviews too!#love by chance #love by chance the series #aepete #tincan #personal #review

62 notes · View notes

ask-svt-hearteu · 6 years

Text

“to all admins (who are so beautiful it is sO UNFAIR) : it’s me!!! sofia ahaha and im sending this a lil early because i wont be home for christmas (:p) and i’d like to thank all of you because i can’t send over gifts due to the ocean. damned water. somewhere in december, i think on the 14th??? i will have known this blog for 5 months ! which isn’t that long but im looking forward to spending many more weeks and months on this wonderful blog. all the admins are so, so friendly, nice, amazing, interesting, beautiful, etc etc. thank you for talking to me ! thank you for being here for me during the tough times! thank you for your advice, thank you for your jokes, your rants, your posts, your everything. this blog has given me as much joy as seventeen does. really! i’m so happy i stumbled upon this blessing of a blog when i was still a baby carat and needed more knowledge.

but please, you guys, get enough rest okay? i heard that someone (like joshua’s wife cough) doesnt get enough sleep and i swear im flying over. all of you are humans and you need rest. you all are in school and you need rest from school (which can be a pain lets be honest) and a break from writing. remember, we, as your readers and fans, care more about your health than how fast you answer our asks. we want you all to be happy and we wish we could give you back the happiness youve given us with this blog. i hope that in 2018, the blog will earn many,many more followers, the admins will make many more friends, and get more supporters (ok but i still dont understand why and how people send hate to the admins?? like fuck you man, these people work so hard arghhh don’t send them hate just because you’re pathetic and lonely and deprived of love and all the good things in life. Legit everytime I see a post about a hater i want to throw a pan at the shithole who hated on these amazing creatures. @jun @minghao @hoshi @scoups jom let’s go beat up the haters im bringing my frying pan and my sunat knife y’ALL BETTER WATCH OUT LATER KENA I SUNAT YOU) drink water, not alcohol : okay sO YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT A HUMAN IS ALLOWED TO BE A TALENTED WRITER, PRETTY ENOUGH TO BE A MODEL AND BE A SINGER ????? JESS IDC WHAT YOU SAY YOU ARE G O R G E O U S YOU’RE SO QR3UBFD-BGQIF and you’re so talented and friendly and n i c e. You’RE SO HARDWORKING AS WELL YOU’RE IN YOUR LAST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL AND STILL WRITE ON THIS BLOG AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN (it really touched me when i told you me and my best friend were fighting and you sent me tons of dino pics and tagged me in pictures of him. that really cheered me up , thank you :D) i think you’re the first admin i started to talking to hahahaha and even though im really annoying you still talked to me? like ?? i heard that you’re in your last year of high school and i wish you the best of luck !!! do only what you want to do. Don’t stress about choosing the right college/uni or the right course, just do what you want to. Please take your time with the blog, college tends to stress writers out and whenever you feel stressed rEST PLEASE. pls make many many new friends in college and have a better diet than ramen 24/7 which doesnt sound too bad but that’s a lot of sodium. i hope everything goes well for you but remember if anything goes wrong or u just wanna talk im here! love youuu bb. 10:10 : ok sERI. WE REALLY NEED TO FIND TIME TO TALK because whenever i text you you’re in class and whenever you text me im about to sleep (damn these timezones) sighh. it’s okay if i ever have kids, i’ll sell them and buy a plane ticket to meet you. okay when i first started talking to you i was really impressed because you’re really..tough? like i really people with thick skin and people who don’t give a shit about what other say and tbh i’m trying to be more like that. people like that are so cool !! and ur so pretty and cool sighh im so jealous (you have vv nice lips dONT TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY I JUST THINK THEY’RE VV PRETTY oR dO I) also you’re really smart ! like you’ve gotten full marks for a test like woah hoshi is so lucky. i hope you remain thick skinned and brush the haters away, but it’s okay to feel bad once in a while, you’re only being human. but you can talk to me any time you feel down or u just wanna talk or rant or vent. i hope you don’t stress about school, please take a break if you have to (i dont want you to go away i want you to get the rest you deserve)anyways i love you ! my name is soonyoung, call me soon : APA KHABAR MY MALAYSIAN FREN ahaha im soooo happy i met you on tumblr. *ur the aesthetic queen* . i hope that we meet in person soon or one day because we live in the same country and won’t it be cool to see each other? we should have a photoshoot together. speaking of photoshoot im very happy to have a model sensei to teach me how to pose. also ur one hell of a sweetheart. you always share fandom things with me and i tend to fangirl in the middle of tesco or class because of you. hmm if seventeen ever come back to malaysia we should meet at their concert, given both of us are going. i’d really love to know more about you lmao you’re so interesting and you’re really patient with me!!! which is reallly nice. okay bb let’s find a date when both of us are free and leggo have some fun. i hope you don’t ever have to feel sad. well actually i think sadness is vital to humans so maybe anger. i hope you’ll continue to be very peaceful and freak out w carats and kpop fans across the glose and i hope that one day you’ll see naega hosh up close and p e r so nal. ilysm bb xxx my i geddit because wo ai ni so ur my love heh : hello my wife /name twin ish / dancer girl / jun’s / blessing to thie world. oh my god we need to talk moreeeee. ur so funny and we’re so alike (like we both swear like pigs) but we’re different because you’re so good at dancing! heck, whenever i dance i blind people from a 5 kilometre radius. all the other admins say you could dance my i with jun and i am sHOOK BECAUSE ho l ee s h i et also do you know what i would give to see you dance with jun? i’d give up all my memes. yeah, that’s right. my knowledge of all memes and vines and fre sh a vacado. apart from your dancing skills, you’re very, very pretty. i can’t believe you think you’re ugly , sweet jisoos, you’re have… the beauty of all the sunsets in the world. you’re actually really nice (stop protesting) because you’ve listened to me rant about all the damn drama in my life and you gave me advice. and you’ve never lost your patience with me. jeez i love youuuu !!! you’ve laughed with me and sent me dino pics to make my heart explode and you were there when i did something really stupid on kakaotalk. sighhh good times amirite? well we can still talk on tumblr. i hope you continue being yourself, the amazing person you are. xx love you to bits. seventeenteenteen : i survived. you havent killed me yet. i have stuck to dino faithfully. well actually, my first bias for like, a week, was memesol but then dinosaur found his way into my heart. i know y’all are busy and it may be hard but please rest. please don’t read mean comments, please love yourselves, please eat well. please do anything that would make you happy. each and every one of you are so, so important to me and i hope all of you are healthy. the8 please rest, i hope you get better soon. scoups, i hope that fever is gone. dino, i hope you find someone that makes you really really happy and i hope you wake up with a smile on your face each day and i hope people will stop prying into your personal life because you deserve to find someone you love and you deserve to be able to love that person without hate. i hope all of you don;t feel pressured to keep away from relationships because of selfish “fans” and i hope all of you will be happy. @josh @hoshi @jun you guys, please take care of your aegis. @josh wish ur gf luck for college, @hoshi stop killing these girls w ur visuals and @jun im waiting for u and sophia’s dance duet. i love all of you with all my heart <3333 thank you for a wonderful 5 months, i hope many more will come. love, sofia xx add on : i wrote this note before jonghyun killed himself and i’d just like to say this to everyone. the admins and the readers ; please ask for help. you are not alone. people are here for you. mental illness is not and will never be a light topic. suicide is never the answer. i know it’s hard but you need to stay, because we need you. i need you. it doesnt matter if we are close friends or complete strangers : you are so important. you are strong and brave and kind and smart and beautiful and you can get through this. you have people willing to listen. if somehow the whole world refuses to listen, im here. there are people around you who care deeply about you and please, stay. if any of you feel sad about the recent tragedy, take a break from tumblr, okay? i love all of you and please, stay safe. — sofiafabulousphan”

Admin Jess: Sofia, bb T^T I honestly can’t express how much your words mean to me. I love you so so much thank you for everything. I honestly won’t deny, it’s hard. I think it will always be difficult to a certain degree to run this blog. Not that I don’t love every second of it believe me, I just (LMAO LEAVE IT TO ME TO START TEARING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF TYPING THIS) I’ve never wanted to do something I wanted to just because I can. I don’t run this blog expecting anything in return. I do it because I genuinely love, love the happiness it brings other people, because I love seventeen and I love doing it all. If I didn’t love it with all my heart I don’t think I would have held up this long. You’re right, it’s my last year of high school. My hardest year because I decided to take a multitude of difficult classes. I have cried tears over so many classes (I’m crying writing this response omfg PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER JESS), I have had plenty of mental breakdowns, a lot of crying whenever someone simply asks me if I’m ok or suggests I get more sleep. I have been an emotional wreck all year. It is my fault though, I did decide to take challenging courses this school year, but one can only run on four hours of sleep everyday for so long and not be emotional I guess. AND I WAS TERRIFIED. I was so scared that in the course of this year, through all the difficult hours of studying and finishing homework at 2/3am in the morning before having to wake up at 6am and walk to school by 7am, that I wouldn’t have the time or effort to do just the one thing I wanted to do the most in the world. I only had one real hobby I loved doing and it was running this blog (again hella emotional and dramatic sorry it’s like one am here when I’m writing this). So I forgo sleep to get everything done. It’s not healthy but in my mind, if I gave up on this blog for one day, that one day might turn into two days, which would turn into a month, and then I’d never be able to do anything ever again just because I kept pushing it off, treating it as if it didn’t mean the world to me when it so very dearly does. OK I’M RAMBLING ABOUT MYSELF NO ONE CARES JESS AHEM,,, My point is, I sacrificed sleep for school and this blog not because I was forced to, but because if I slept, this feeling of guilt when I woke up in the morning, a feeling of “ahh I could have done more, I could have been better” would permeate my mind for who knows how long. I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. I hate disappointing people. So to hear you say this blog and all the stuff we do on it makes you happy? It makes me think maybe I’m not such a big disappointment after all, and maybe if I keep working hard, I can continue making more people happier, and that’s all I really want. True, with college approaching, I can’t make any guarantees. I anticipate not being able to do anything at all, and that idea is scary too and makes me want to work even harder now while I still can. I will definitely try to get more rest though??? I mean no one likes a sleep-deprived me at 3am lmao, I may seem nice but at 3am I’m bawling my eyes out over homework and cursing at my posters and pictures of Seventeen and school and textbooks in like three different languages (it’s not pretty lol). So yes rest? Idk what that is... but I’ll try??? fjnvksjn? I think I recall when you first sent in an ask, I’m not too sure but honestly the blog is about as old as you’ve been here so thank you for being one of our first supporters (did you have a book with a flower icon hmm trying to recall)! The hate I think will always be a thing I’m sure, I just don’t know how to deal with it T-T I am very naturally a sensitive human bean, what can I say... LMAO I’M NOT GORGEOUS THOUGH it’s called filters, lighting, angles, and makeup. The only reason I look anywhere near decent is because I use a combination of those things to hide all my flaws LMAO. As for singing, I’m not super? I can sing a pitch correctly I suppose? I can sing a chromatic scale? Idk if that qualifies as good singing (I can definitely sing svt songs in broken Korean shamelessly no matter where I go though). I’m really not that good, but I’m not awful like a dying seal or smth. I don’t even think I’m a talented writer, I just try my best I guess. I do sincerely try my hardest. YOU’RE NOT ANNOYING AT ALL I 117% would listen to you rant or scream about anything and I’m just super grateful you don’t think I’m annoying lsnfdnvd. OF COURSE I THINK YOU AND CHAN ARE THE CUTEST (or you and Jongdae pick your poison;) and of course I sent all those Channie pics omfg, I’m always here if you need it^~^ Thank you for all your kind words love (AND IMMA PRETEND YOU DIDN’T CALL ME JOSHUA’S WIFE BC MY HEART CAN’T TAKE IT KDFJNVKSBBDIBI I’LL CALL YOU CHAN’S WIFE ISTG I WILL) make sure to take care of yourself and you’re always welcome to come talk to me bb :)

Admin Meagan: aaaHHHHHHH, really appreciate you Sofia ✨😩 Gosh, can't believe you wrote us sub a long essay AHAHAHAH. Also, SUNAT KAU AHAHAHAHAHAHAH (Non-Malaysians wouldn't understand lmao) But yeeeee, thank you so so much baby for taking the time to send this ask in <3 It's been amazing knowing you and gosh you are such a sweetheart! Also, Chinese New Year is soon, let's go out together ;)) Cafe hopping at SS15 maybe? Hehe. I want my postcard AHAHA and to spend time with you of course!! <3 You are such a bright individual and Chan loves you hella lots. Thank you for always sending us such encouraging messages and for being a good pal really. But for reals, you mean a lot to me and gosh I can't wait to meet you. Also I not model material lah AHAHAH, only a certain days ;) but yess!! A photoshoot would be amazing haha, I can try to teach you some tips lmao. And yes, thank you for caring about our mental health. January hasn't been the best month for me, honestly it's been horrible but stuff like this really warms up my heart yah know. So yes, really really appreciate you man. Keep being so spunky and loveable. Take care, stay safe and I hope we get to meet each other soon ❤️

Admin Seri: SERIously SERIously, you have no idea how much this warmed my heart. ahh i so wish we could find a better time to talk, i’ll work on that :’) i’m not very good at expressing my feeling through words! and for that mianhae mianhae. in fact, that’s one very VERY COOL thing about you!!! expression your feelings isn’t the easiest and hey, use those feelings to brush for those haters. as you know love, other people’s opinions don’t effect me BUT THERE’S NOTHING WRONG with being affected! just know, those people are irrelivant, and once you realize they can’t do a single fucking thing to you unless you let them, it gets a bit better <3 but GIRL i remember you from the VERY being!!! i can’t believe you stuck around this long , you’ve seen all the changes, how much we’ve grown, it’s seriously amazing. becoming an admin (sure as hell didn’t know it back then) was definitely my HIGHLIGHT of twenty seventeen. there’s not a day that goes by where i regret it, not at all, even when our inbox is loaded or when i have writers block. and you being here along that journey warms my heart so so much! i’m not kidding sometimes i find myself in the middle of the night looking through all the comments or reblogs and GOSH i just see every single sweet sweet message you leave. AND OH MY GOD I’M ALREADY FOR SURE GONNA VISIT AJVBELJNGR IM ALREADY PLANNING TO ONE DAY TO SEE MEAGAN SO LIKE DUHHHH WE COULD MEET UP!!! just augh i’m super super grateful for you message jinja jinja ily~~~ <333 !!! {p.s. i totally wrote bodyguard reader! Chan thinking of you, ngl}

Admin Soph: As much as I love you and as much as you’re my ai. DONT GIVE UP YOUR MEMES FOR ME WTAF. MAN I LOVE YA BUT MEMES ARE IMPORTANT XD. And you might only be disappointed after watching me dance with Jun. Ah I wish we could talk more too :””) We get along so well and Im fucking positive were soulmates just looking at how similar we are XD. Ah im not really good at things like this. Im really speechless because damn boi I love ya and you took the time to write all this for us :””). Youre an angel sent from the heavens. AND ME PRETTY??? NUUUUUUUU.Just like what Jess said, filters and lighting exists. Im only cute tho (char). But youre more prettier than me love. Both inside and outside. You're as beautiful as the northern lights. And like the northern lights, you light up my dark days :””). We dont talk much but we always check up on each other man. Goddamn I love ya. I hope we can make more stupid but fun memories together ^^. And I will literally hug the shit outta you when we meet. Also can we like talk about how much we appreciate ya? You’re always in our inbox sending adorable and heartwarming asks to both Svt and us. I remember telling you that your asks about the admins literally brightens our day. How you're little “I hope the admins stay safe” means so much to us. I really hope you only experience happiness for the rest of your life. You’re a person I really appreciate and love. AS MUCH AS I LOVE JUN. HELL YEAH I SAID IT. hAHHAH Dont be afraid to come to me if you have any problem. I will always be here to talk to you and help you love ^^. Please take care of yourself too. DonT FUCKING SKIP MEALS. GET A LOT OF SLEEP OR IM GETTING CHAN AND JONGDAE. Ah im sorry if I didnt say a lot. I want to say a lot but I literally dont know what to say :””). I WILL MESSAGE YOU A LONG AS MESSAGE ON YOUR BDAY OR SOMETHING. I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY TO YOU GADBSVF ASNMK. For now, I love you and take care of yourself. You are loved by a lot and I hope your life gets filled with happiness and joy. Im also always here if you ever need to talk ^^

6 notes · View notes

b0n6b0n6-blog · 7 years

Text

04/04/2017 Continuation

So yeah, I feel like I’m not good enough for him. So I haven’t helped him on farm. I didn’t even start shit because I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship over a girl he’s just using to get off to. So for the past weeks, I tried so hard to think that those girls don’t exist. It’s pretty hard...but I’m trying. But lately, I feel like our relationship is kinda changing...Bronco doesn’t see it, maybe because he’s busy doing something else. Like after that girl, I feel like Bronco is slowly trying to avoid me. Like Bronco, man, he was sexy, spontaneous, charming, cute, just ugh. He’s the type of guy who would make my heart beat fast. Like that’s how deep he went into my heart. But he’s barely like that anymore with me..and its sad...

So, I’ve been down and noticing that, so I tried to spark up the cuteness you know? He likes pet names, like papi, oppa etc. So I called him nene, cariño, and papacito. He usually gets all cute and blushy but he didn’t really acknowledge them...like when I make a vid and used cariño or nene...he didn’t say much. I mean those words are cute you know, I would love for a guy to call me nena or cariña. Sigh...he did call me that one time long time ago though..but I thought he was moving too fast when he called me nena one time. Anyways, he did say mi coreana which was pretty cute and I loved it. But hey what about when I call him stuff like that...I felt like whenever I say them, he blocks it. And yesterday..I helped him on farm, and I noticed something, he wanted to be called nene by someone else. So I guess me calling nene is out of the list, like its taken or claimed...if she does..of course he would prbly make her the new nena or call her nena sigh..fml. And he looks interested in getting to know her...

Omg, he lags so much these days....now we don’t talk a lot in a day. I mean, one reason is him not fixing his damn sleeping schedule, so I let that “after work nap” slide. And he doesn’t really share anything anymore. Like he tells me laaaaaater. Like he’ll be up and an hr or 2 later, he’ll tell me he was here or there. Like he doesn’t really bring me in like he used to you know? I don’t feel as special as I used to be. It feels different. And now he’s saying I should stop being toxic...ouch. Sigh...and whenever I tell him these things...he just says, “You’re fine lol” like come on...I wanted more than just “You’re fine”. That kind of answer feels like that person doesn’t really care about you. Like at least think, like she feels this way? I didn’t think something was wrong. Like make a conversation about it you know? I like to talk. Communication is key people.

Anyways, yeah, he wanted me to vent out but I can’t just take “You’re fine” as the result. Sigh...I guess I’m just too much or I approach or do things too much and its scaring him..idk. I mean there’s something you should know, when I’m in love, I’m IN love. I give my all. And does he see that? Idk. Like I guess I’m feeling these things and kinda noticing it because of my actions. And because of all this, I feel like I’m not his Korean Princess anymore ):. Which is why I would ask him to remind him what he used to say to me and if that statement he made was true...sigh...man this all happened after that big cracked chic...I feel like I did the damage..like I said to my ex back then. I feel like everything I touch, I end up destroying and maybe it’s following me again with him and I don’t want to destroy it. Please, God help me sighh

PS: Sometimes I would feel sorry for him to meet someone like me. Who would always cry, trip out on some things, feel insecure, and take things serious all the time. My past relationship made me who I am today. I’m basically taking my ex’s traits, even my friend says so. I would feel maybe Bronco did better before he met me. He told me, never. But all the things I put him through...I would feel bad because he probably didn’t expect me to be like this. Idk..I really just want to go on my knees and apologize for all of this. I’m so sorry.

0 notes