#and yeah I have big feelings about ofmd getting canceled on my second day

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

ofmd is important to me because it helped me quit grad school, which was slowly killing me.

not just bc ofmd is the "it's never too late to re-invent yourself, just walk out you can leave" show, but because, thanks to ofmd, I've written more in the past two years than I ever have before. and through that I've made friends with people who were outside of my whole situation and liked me for things that weren't related to grad school/didn't see grad school as an intrinsic part of my identity.

in contrast to that, people important to me in my actual real life thought I was joking when I said I might quit because I was miserable. even when they knew I'd been suicidal. or they were like "yeah everyone feels that way." the pressure to just push through even when it was hurting me was so strong.

so fandom helped me find new parts of my identity that weren't going to crumble apart if I didn't get the PhD. and that made me brave enough to get out of there even when I didn't really know what came next.

and sure, yeah, that's more about ✨the power of friendship✨ than the actual show, and it's not like the friendships are ending, but it's all tangled up together for me and I'm just real fucking sad the show got cancelled.

#[ricky voice] the gentleman pirate saved my life! #<- sorry #this is why ed's s2 search for identity after he decided NOT to die hit me like a goddamn truck btw #anyways i love you hrj and tumblr friends #going to keep writing fic when I'm not busy with my job that started two days ago #which is very much marking the Next Phase Of My Life After Grad School #and yeah I have big feelings about ofmd getting canceled on my second day #our flag means death #my nonsense #grad school