#and there are absolutely no summer calc classes anywhere to be seen

[melonpond]

my new way of dealing with stressful situations is to make a meme about it

#melon rambles #I'm going to vent in tags so be prepared if you decide to read the rest of this #calculus is so frickin difficult to learn #I've taken a pre-calc and two seperate calc classes before #and I have passed none of them #because they have all been online and self paced or at least they feel self paced #and I cannot for the life of me learn complex stem subjects through online videos #I don't know why but my brain needs the human interaction in order to learn more complex things #and I thought oh well surely I'll be able to find an in-person calc class right? #nope #I'm trying to take it over the summer so I can just get it out of the way #and there are absolutely no summer calc classes anywhere to be seen #except for the self paced online one #and that one is a special kind of hell because of the way assignments work #and the final exam is worth 80% of the grade so even if I work my butt off with the assignments #I'm still liable to fail because exams are the worst and I suck at doing things under pressure #and what's even worse about all this is that I'm going to have to move back home soon #which means the smidgen of focus that I've been able to have for doing schoolwork recently will be absolutely gone #the only way I might be able to get an in person calc class at this point would be through my sister's old proffesor #who apparently did a 1 on 1 tutoring thing with her over summer at one point #and I need to email her to see if that's a possibility #but I don't know ho to go about emailing her which means I need to ask my mother #and I'm not sure if my mother is going to think it's a good idea even though it's what my sister suggested and has done #but also if my mother denies me the one chance to learn calc in person then I'm going to go absolutely feral #my adhd/executive dysfunction plays so much into why I can't for the life of my finish an online calc class #and if I can't convince her to get me diagnosed AND she expects me to do an online calc class #I am going to go feral #I will feel bad about going feral because it's not entirely my mom's fault #but I will still go feral