#and then was also like well what if we revisited one of ur most blindly blissful periods of life before u grew a brain and also sentience

[swimfuel]

actually feeling a little sick to my stomach thinking about just how fucked up this shit is

#i was looking up some stuff abt the horrible shit in hs and AHs other work and some of them were on the hs subreddit and i #GRRGRGRGRGRGH LITERALLY FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH AH FANBOYS AND THE 'ohoho freedom of speech means freedom 2 b racist n ableist' TYPE #and it just hit me like oh...... wow #people really think like this #i really dont understand why people are so fucking... unwilling to criticize media #or when they do its for the most inane and backwards reasons #read: captain marvel getting dragged bc marvel fanboys didnt like brie larson when it shouldve been criticized for the us army pandering #like goddd #i dont know #like right now.. i dont even know why im thinking abt these characters again it came on so suddenly im just trying to get it over with quic #its good timing that its exam season and almost the beginning of summer break rn ill be too preoccupied to have this last long #ive just gotta ride it out until it passes again by now ive kinda recognized the cycle #i think it came on in part bc ive been like VERY suicidal ideationy lately and my brain was like what if you fantacized about being loved #and then was also like well what if we revisited one of ur most blindly blissful periods of life before u grew a brain and also sentience #and then it didnt wait for an answer #gonna force myself not to self isolate as much this time hopefully i think thatll help also #.