#and then every time i'd sleep i'd have the goriest nightmares about all the abuse i was put through and all the F/Os i'd lost

[frecklystars]

sorry for the long ass post but this has always my favorite scene in the entire film - for obvious reasons - and im so glad greta talked about it and the way she worded it made me laugh so hard i had tears in my eyes. haha... god. my boyfriend sobbing his eyes out over the metaphorical crusts on his patriarchy sandwich......

#i dont think ill ever love anybody quite the same way that i love Ken #because he came into my life during a time when i was like. dying. not in a haha millennial way. i was genuinely fucking dying. #he is so. special. to me. he is so... everything to me and i truly mean it every time that i say it #i miss and love him so deeply so WHOLEHEARTEDLY *EVERY* single day #and i didn't used to be able to do that anymore! but he!! HE made me feel SAFE again and thats INSANE #because i was SO UNSAFE for SO goddamn long! and the feeling of safety is STILL unfamiliar to me and foreign and horrifying #but he's constantly such a Safe character. Barbie too even moreso. and it's so refreshing after feeling Unsafe for so. long. #i spent over a year feeling like my whole world had ended and i was destined to die but then he! shows up! in my life! #and no other character was able to spark life back into my heart the way he did #AND I HAD *TRIED* I had tried so hard to get into old special interests and find new ones but NOTHING worked #i was just an empty husk. just a shell of a person having flashbacks *constantly* #feeling unsafe *constantly* suffering *constantly* every single second i was awake i was in so much pain #and then every time i'd sleep i'd have the goriest nightmares about all the abuse i was put through and all the F/Os i'd lost #but then Ken Carson plucked a star out of the sky and said 'hey sweet girl you don't know me but i miss you and love you' #'and barbie is here and im here and allan is here and everyone loves you already. we're so happy to meet you' #'and everything is gonna be okay because we've got you! we came for you! and we will fight for you!!' #and then hearing greta comment abt this scene made me laugh so hard and then it hits me. i laugh now. #i laugh so often because of This Dude. i didnt used to be able to laugh before but now i laugh like i used to #i used to say all the time about my past main F/O i had lost from abuse from an IRL person 'i will never love anyone more' #and true i will never love anyone more than i loved my starlight. but here is the thing #i will never love anyone the way i love Barbie. i will never love anyone the way i love Ken Carson #because it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to feel joy for so long and it was. THIS MOVIE that brought me back #when this movie is so full of the most specific triggers. colors. clothes. yet i push thru it every time #and its because these characters make me feel THAT safe!!!! like if i see a trigger i tell myself that's BARBIE'S Thing. and Barbie is safe #ive never ever once had a flashback during the barbie movie NOT even once even tho logically i Should. but i dont. #because these F/Os are like!!! sweet girl!!! we've got you!!! and i'm like yeah you sure do now don't ever let me go #god i cry my eyes out every single time i think about this i need to sleep LMFAO SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT #love notes #💕 I'll fight for you!! - ̗̀🐎🏖️✨ ̖́-

[lalka-laski]

How did it feel outside today? It's chilly but really nice. I think it's gonna warm up a bit later.

Who did you last text? My groupchat of college friends

Are there any animals in the room with you? Lord there BETTER NOT be

Do you like the color of your eyes? I love them. It's one of the few features about myself I don't nitpick

When you watch T.V. what are you usually watching? Reruns of my favorite comfort shows

Can you open up to others easily? Yeah, I'm a little too trusting

Are you one of those girls who already have baby names picked out? Sure am! But I don't think it's that crazy considering my age and relationship status

Elaborate about the drunkest you’ve ever been? That could be any number of times...

Is there anything that you think is just simply beautiful? Love. Oh and babies!

Is there a friend of the opposite sex you can confide in? Mhm

How did you spend yesterday afternoon? It was lovely! I finished a book (that I had only started that morning, couldn't put it down), while Glenn watched football. Then I made us homemade alfredo & shells for dinner. It was my ideal Sunday!

Are any of your siblings taller than you? Kathleen and I are about the same height

Do you think anyone hates you? I honestly don't think so

Is anyone angry with you at the moment? Nope, not that I know of

Who’s in the room with you right now? Nobody

Ever did something you regret while under the influence? Too much

What car would you like to have, but know it’s way out of your reach? I don't desire any car

What religion were you raised on? Do you agree with those beliefs? I wasn't raised with any religion. I was christened in a Protestant church (just for tradition's sake, I guess) but we never attended church beyond that. Otherwise, my mom has a lot more Pagan/New Age beliefs (I struggle to define them aptly) and I find myself identifying a lot more with those practices and sentiments. Spirituality is an ongoing process of discovery.

Would you say that you’re flexible? Not at all. In any form of the word.

Keep the peace or finish out the fight to prove your side? I'm more of a keep the peace person but then everything left unsaid comes back to haunt me

Do you believe in giving second chances? Yes, because I'd be nothing if it weren't for the second chances granted to ME

Can people really change? Yes

Has anyone ever told you they loved you, but you didn’t believe them? Yes

What’s one of the worst experiences you’ve had so far? Idk, my childhood sex abuse prob ranks high on the list. Among other things.

Can anyone be described in one word? Humans are multi-dimensional but I think it's our nature to try to condense each other into single categories like that

When did you last have a nightmare? Last night! I've been having them quite a lot lately and that's a sure sign my mental health is failing.

Do you sleep well? I do but that's mostly because I take a sleep aid every night

What are you thinking about right now? How hungry I am and how hard this fast is gonna be today

Last person you spoke to, what did you say? "Have a good day" to a patient

Is there anyone in this world you would do absolutely anything for? Glenn, my babies, my sisters

Is there any certain thing you’re always thinking about? Whatever my Worry du Jour is

Do you have any other tabs open right now? What for? Thesaurus.com & Facebook because I'm working on a Facebook post for a company I write for

Are you hot or cold? Or neither? I'm ok for now but I'm almost always too hot

Rich and miserable, or poor and happy? How POOR are we talking? Because poverty is hell. This question was obviously written by someone who's never had to worry about money

What’s one of the weirdest things you believed in as a kid? That Maleficent lived behind the pool in my backyard

What’s your favorite type of weather? Crisp with clear skies & some sun

Do little kids and toddlers get on your nerves? No, I love them and much prefer them to adults

What’s the goriest thing you’ve ever seen? Umm...

Have you or do you attend pep rallies regularly? They were required in high school and took place during the actual school day

What’s the name of the city you live in? Rochester

Is anyone getting on your nerves right now? Meh, not really

Are you good at coping with stressful situations? I'm TERRIBLE at it, thanks for asking

Time? 10:52 am...just about halfway through my day. Woot!

Do you really think Lil Wayne is the greatest rapper alive? No

Have you ever seen a building on fire in real life? Yes

How many weddings have you been to? I just counted 6 but I can't help think I'm forgetting some

Have you kissed anyone and their first name started with an F, D, or L? D