#and some salmon roe(?) from lidl which was delicios all was good and now i'll try to do some self care and relax

[lush3-1]

i went to the cemetery with my family to go see my grandma and changed her flowers to a beautifuuul bouquet of tulips (they had such pretty colors-when you'd see them your mood instantly lightens up i swear !!) & lit her candles -> at the same time a white butterfly flied right above her grave so i like to think it was a sign from her...

also i couldn't hold my tears anymore so i started crying for a bit while i was there even though i hate crying out in the open where others can see me but surprisingly it made me feel a bit better afterwards :)

oh and for the whole time it felt as if we were attending a bird's concert because it was so quiet( naturally) and their chirps felt heavenly to my ears it truly was breathtaking to be a witness of nature's endless beauty

#my wording is not that good here i know i'm not pleased with it i'm still sad #and i'm currently eating my first meal of the day so probs i'll be fine soon i hope #anyway. a bit more personal but yeah #my reaction surprised me a bit bc when this time comes around of course i miss her even more and i may get a bit upset #though today it felt to me as if she had just died. as if i just heard the news. and i was the only one who felt this way #and i felt guilty bc in my mind i was 'ruining everyone else's mood '(this wasn't true btw) #now i made myself some umm how do i translate in english...rum latte powder (instant coffee-tasted like a fancy hot chocolate) #and some salmon roe(?) from lidl which was delicios all was good and now i'll try to do some self care and relax