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brokenmusicboxwolfe · 9 months

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Woo-hoo! I got through Good Omens 2 without any major spoilers!

Okay, I did catch on that some folks found the ending upsetting, but nothing else. Considering the heavy posting about the show, that’s pretty lucky!

What strikes me as funny is that I sort of twigged where it was heading pretty fast, but enjoyed it anyway. I don’t mean I guess the amnesiac and (name redacted) had that particular relationship or that (name redacted) would get that offer at the end, BUT both fit perfectly with the way the story was going.

I always enjoy character stuff, and this was pretty much entirely about our main couple. Everything, every couple mirroring them, every flashback adventure, it was all about Crowley and Azzy’s relationship. In particular it was all about Azzy’s heaven blinkered perception of that relationship. Crowley may have long ago adjusted to shades of grey and pragmatism, by Azzy still thinks in terms of purity. Naturally this had to lead to a crisis eventually…just a few millennia later than most couples would.

Weirdly enough, all this reminded me of my parents. Mom was from a very religious, rather conservative southern baptist family. Pop was an agnostic (borderline atheist) born near Boston to a very liberal family. I’ve read their letters and diaries, charting them going from best friends to their marriage. In those papers you can really see a struggle not unlike this season.

There is no question my parents were in love, long before they ever admitted it to themselves. Gotta say that first. But it’s tricky when you’ve been raised to think that the world is set in rigid form, and the person you love most, doesn’t fit.

Mom had a difficult time wrapping her head around the differences, coming from a very binary world view. She would try to rationalize and excuse those differences, like Pop couldn’t really be a non-believer down deep because he was such a good person. And when the reality settled in for how different his world view was from her family, it became a real issue for her.

Pop, however, was insistent they weren’t that different at heart. Yes, she had her religion, but he was talking their natures. Who they were, not where they came from. Clearly they were both smart, curious, hard working, and deeply caring people. Yet she was parroting back what she was supposed to**. Pop would plead with her to think for herself, to be true to herself.

While there is no parallel to the rift at the end of the show, it could easily have happened. It very nearly did. Her aunt offered to pay Mom’s college as a method of trying to sabotage her relationship with the “sinful” love of her life. After a lot of angst Mom chose to reject the pressures of her family, culture, and finances. She saw Pop was right. They were alike in the ways that mattered.

I hadn’t been aware of Mom’s struggle. While Mom had been a christian and Pop a non-believer, they had always, always seemed bound in spirit, or soul, or whatever you call it. Mom took the journey of shedding her rigid binary framework for the world, coming to terms not just with loving an outsider but that she herself was one.

Anyway, if it’s any comfort for those worried for the Crowley/Azzy relationship (ignoring Neil Gaiman’s own reassurance) my parents not only found a way to work things out, they became an “Us” that lasted for more than 50yrs. And if you ask Mom, Pop’s death hasn’t changed that “Us” one bit. Maybe they just made me a hopeless romantic, but I have no doubt the relationship between our angel and demon will work out too.***

Eventually.

** Fun fact: Grandma, Mom’s mom, had an amusing need to say she was things she had been taught to be even when it was utterly absurd. She was a peculiar person it would take an essay to write about, but I’ll say her lack of self awareness and innate goodness made it cute when she would try to claim unpleasant traits she thought she was supposed to have.

*** Ever see that box I painted based on an angel and devil romance? (It’s on here somewhere) Maybe it’s proof I’m just a sucker for this kind if thing! LOL

#good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #tv #rambles

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alexipsych-blog · 6 years

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Doubting Margaret

“And in Revelation chapter twenty-one, verse eight he says, ‘But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and fornicators, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.’”

I can still hear the muffled voice of the man with the Texas drawl on the television preaching or ranting about something. I recall that he looked and sounded eerily similar to Ted Cruz. As a kid, I never really understood what they were talking about. I knew it had something to do with God and Jesus. I figured I was safe anyway. My mom believed in God and I heard that meant I got off scot-free with the Lord too. I believed in God, I think. Though it might’ve just been that I feared what my mom might do if she ever thought I didn’t. She doesn’t speak very kindly of people who don’t believe in God. Sometimes she spoke badly of people who say they did, but I figured this meant she knew the truth. She wouldn’t stand for secrets.

I never truly understood church growing up. At least not my mom’s. All my friends in school always talked about having Sunday school, and some even got to hang out at church together. My younger sister, Elizabeth, and I were the youngest people in my mom’s church, next to our cousins five and ten years older than me, and then the rest were all over thirty-five. I did get to put a ton of time into my Pokémon Fire Red game. Mom would let Elizabeth and me bring our games and toys to church to keep us busy. I think she just didn’t want us causing a scene or being too loud or doing normal kid things that kids do on Saturdays, so we played quietly. Aunt Christie never let our cousins, first Jenny, then Henry, do anything but sit quietly. I remember being reprimanded by Aunt Christie for asking Henry to check out my awesome Charizard during the sermon. She told me, “You ought to listen too, before it’s too late.”

“In Jeremiah the Lord speaks of false prophets and commands to not pay them any attention. In chapter twenty-three, verse six, ‘Thus said the Lord of hosts, listen not to the words of the prophets that prophesy to you: they make you vain: they speak a vision of their own heart, and not out of the mouth of the Lord.’”

Every Saturday morning, because the real believers worship on the “sabbath,” mom’s church met in a sterile conference room at a chain hotel, right next to a mall. They never appointed an actual pastor to speak, and they would get extremely offended if you called one of their sermon-givers a “pastor” or a “priest.” Those words belong to the vocabulary of “false teachings.” So instead of an actual human delivering the spiritual message, the church videotaped sermons from a small group of the same believers in Texas. My Uncle Joe, husband to my Aunt Nancy, held a somewhat high rank in the church, I think, so he did most of the choosing the sermons and setting them up. He just had to pop a VHS into the player and boom; there was the insta-preacher. I remember seeing churches with beautiful architecture or with funny names like, “Our Lady of Perpetual Helpfulness,” and I remember asking my mom why we never went to a normal church like my friends at school. She would tell me that all the other people who called themselves Christians really just followed a false teaching. Her church knew the actual truth and no one else. I couldn’t seem to figure out why they didn’t seem to do anything to spread their truths, though.

“The Lord commands that we do not partake in the ways of the heathen. Jeremiah chapter ten, verses one and two, ‘Hear you the word which the Lord speaks to you, O house of Israel: Thus said the Lord, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them.’ And now if you look down at verse four the Lord directly addresses what the false Christians call ‘Christmas decorations.’ ‘They deck it with silver and gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.’”

My Dad attended church with my mom, my sister, and me a handful of times, but he refused to buy what the church was selling. Dad’s parents raised him as a Southern Baptist and he believes firmly in God, but he always said, “It’s not about what church you go to or how renowned you are. What matters is your personal relationship with the Lord and his son, Jesus.” I just always nodded and pretended to understand what it meant to have a personal relationship with some all-powerful entity who may or may not actually exist. Dad never really dogged either Elizabeth or me when it came to religion, and I feel like had he raised me in a normal Baptist church that I may have matured into a faithful adult.

We celebrated Christmas growing up because Dad insisted that Elizabeth and I at least get that experience. Who doesn’t love Christmas? My mother always had some protest, telling my sister and I when we were maybe seven and ten years old, “You know the ornaments are supposed to represent eggs. And look at the shape of the ‘cute’ little lights you dress the tree up with. What do those look like to you?” Every year she loved to ruin the Christmas spirit with, “We’re not supposed to try to guess Jesus’s birthday. It’s not for us to know. The Bible says he was born when the lambs were biting in the fields, and that’s all we get. Do you think lambs are out and about in December?” I always thought of it as symbolic. We decorate and give each other gifts on this placeholder for Jesus’s birthday.

“Wouldn’t Jesus be sad if no one cared enough to celebrate his birthday at all though?” I asked once.

“He’s probably angry that people partake of these blasphemous pagan rituals in His name.” I never understood why I could never get a satisfactory answer to any religious question.

Two years in a row, mom became especially paranoid and deluded about Christmas. My sister and I both came down with the flu two years in a row around Christmastime. “This must be my punishment for allowing this nonsense in my household,” she would say. She would become hysteric at times, believing that she indirectly caused my sister and I to fall ill. The second year it happened, I Googled when flu season comes around. I found it confusing that the peak of infections happens during December. I began to think that maybe my mom and her church people had things confused.

“The Lord is a jealous and angry God. He will punish those who wrong him. In 2 Samuel chapter twelve, verse fourteen, David is told he will be punished for adultery. ‘However, because this deed you have given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme, the child also that is born to you shall surely die.’ He tells us he will destroy everything because of our sinfulness, but he shall discern the lambs from the goats. Isaiah chapter twenty-four, ‘Behold, the Lord makes the earth empty, and makes it waste, and turns it upside down, and scatters abroad the inhabitants thereof...The earth is also defiled under the inhabitants thereof; because they have transgressed the laws, changed the ordinance, broken the everlasting covenant.”

Every church I ever attended talked about the mercifulness and love of God first and foremost. Mom’s church depicted him to be vengeful. I think they wanted subordination through fear, and it worked. As the oldest sibling, I had a rough transition into sisterhood. I used to think cruel thoughts about my sister because she seemed to matter more to my parents. All the while the idea that God could read my mind and potentially punish me for those thoughts terrified me. I never truly felt safe. My mom would tell me, “You never know when God might answer a prayer or give you punishment. It’s on His terms.” I felt like a trapped animal under this god.

During the services, they focused heavily on Revelation and all the tragedy and destruction that God would bring. I never really learned the Bible stories kids usually learn, like Jonah and the whale, and I at first thought David stayed in the lion’s den, but that was Daniel. It mattered apparently. I did get to hear the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. The god I’m supposed to love and worship destroyed two whole cities in a tantrum. There was also the story of God commanding Abraham to sacrifice Isaac basically as a joke. That one terrified me the most. I remember the first time I heard that story I hoped God wouldn’t talk to mom and tell her to burn me alive. She and her group of fanatics would have done it if they believed God said so.

These stories made me angry. They made me question. My mom punished me for asking certain questions, however.

“Why would God terrify Abraham’s son just to make sure he remained faithful?”

“We cannot know God’s intentions. We just need to listen and obey as best we can.”

“And why would he kill all those people in those cities? Isn’t he supposed to forgive?”

“Those ‘people’ were disgusting heathens. Some things are unforgivable.”

“I thought Jesus died on the cross so we could all be forgiven?”

“You know he wasn’t crucified on a cross. It was an upright pale. I taught you better than that.” Crosses were pagan symbols to this church as well. They considered depictions of Jesus blasphemous as well. “They always paint him with long hair like a woman. The Bible says it is disgraceful for a man to look like a woman.”

“The Bible also says you shouldn’t sell things at the church. There was that part where Jesus went table flippin’.”

“That’s different. Our church sells booklets about the truth. The money goes to the church.”

I remember the exact moment I decided I wanted nothing to do with my mom’s church. Of course, I wouldn’t have any say in the matter anyway. I just would keep my first secret from mom.

The Ted Cruz-esque preacher played on the television while a thirteen-year old Margaret sat in an uncomfortable metal hotel chair enjoying catching Moltres on Mt. Ember when he said something that caught my ear, “I just don’t understand these kids out here chopping up their arms and acting like they have nothing to be happy about. It’s just ungrateful and disrespectful.” I remember pulling my sleeves over my hands, the abrasive fabric scratching at my struggle with self-harm. I realized then this church didn’t want me, God didn’t want me, and frankly I didn’t want or need either one. Even as a kid trying to figure out why I felt so tired and sad all the time, I still understood I didn’t deserve the way that “sermon” made me feel. I think some time later the preacher started talking about the butterflies he sees on his porch every morning.

They have the market cornered on faith and religion though. Try convincing them otherwise.

#writing #memoir #mine #alexipsych #creative writing #story #storytelling

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wingsy-keeper-of-songs · 7 years

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Here’s some more Nora

I changed a few things regarding my Django OC Nora Kingsbury. She’s known to the masses nowadays as Nora Lémieux because I said so. x3 I have a lot of her history written down here, but I’m sans a good FC for her. I was going to use Robin Wright, but I just don’t think she has the right look I’m going for. If you guys have any ideas, I’d love to hear them! So, here’s a shit-ton of OC information that no one asked for. Enjoy.

Section 1: The Basics 1A. What is your character's full name? Eleanor June Lémieux 1B. Was it their parents that named them that? If not, who? Nora was named after her paternal grandmother, and it was at her father’s bequest. 1C. Is there any special meaning behind the name? The name Eleanor has a long history with queens, and it was because of that history that I chose it. Plus, I just really like the name.

2A. How old are they now? Nora is in her late thirties to early forties 2B. Where were they born? Nora was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania but primarily raised in Macon County, Georgia 3A. What's their race?

Caucasian 4A. Where do they stand on the social pyramid? She’s comfortably middle class and lives in a relatively nice flat above a bookstore. Section 2: Lifestyle 1A. Do they have a job/occupation? What is it? Yes she does. She’s a schoolteacher. 1B. What motivates them to keep doing this job?

Nora may not seem like it, but she does like children. She enjoys teaching, especially encouraging young girls to read. She’s quite motherly and tends to be something of a hen. 1C. What job would they rather have?

In all honesty, I think she’s pretty happy where she is. She likes teaching and she greatly enjoys the children. 2A. What are their religious views? Her family is Catholic/Southern Baptist, but she herself is nonreligious 3A. what have they accomplished? When?

Well, she happens to be an intelligent woman circa the Civil War Era. She hasn’t died in childbirth yet or done anything remotely terrible to other people (other than seducing murderers while her friend shoots them in the face, but that doesn’t count). She’s got a pretty decent job for a woman in the American South, she can hold her own in a fight, all in all I think she’s doing fairly well. 4A. Are they a part of any organizations? She joined a woman’s suffragette party. Because of reasons. 5A. What do they do in their spare time? Nora greatly enjoys reading. She favors French literature and her favorite book is The Three Musketeers (she is loathe to find out Candie enjoys it as well). She enjoys listening to German classical composers, mostly Schubert (he’s Austrian, but she claims there is little difference. It’s one of those delightful debates she has with Schultz). She also likes to go for walks in the park on Sundays and look at hats. Section 3: Psychology 1A. Describe their basic personality.

Nora is a feisty firecracker of a woman hidden beneath a demure outward appearance. She’s extremely quick-witted and dry-humored, and she can come across as arrogant very easily. She’s not prone to the realm of extreme emotion often and can come across as unfeeling. She has a very strong moral sense of justice and is quick to judge. 2A. What part of their personality really stands out? If any part? Her sarcastic wit is famous throughout her aunt’s social circles. Rumor has it that she picked it up from her grandmother from beyond the grave. 3A. How do they view life? Are they an optimist? Pessimist? Realist? Idealist?

Nora tries to be an optimist, but it’s rather difficult when you’re a woman during an era where women were nothing more than pretty dolls on a shelf to be admired for a bit and then cast aside when their beauty fades. She’s absolutely a realist with idealistic tendencies and these are among other things she gets into debates with Schultz about. 4A. When it comes to making tough a tough decision, do they rely on thought or feeling? Faith or fact? Absolutely she relies on thought and fact. She prefers not to be seen as a well of emotions as men were prone on viewing women (and still are). There are few times where her anger can get the better of her, but she prefers to stuff that deep down inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness. 5A. Do they have a sense of humor? She’s extremely dry, yes. Schultz greatly enjoys it when they’re caustic little shits together. 6A. What motivates them to keep moving? The will to just live as well as she possibly can. 7A. What do they desire in life? The right to vote would be a good start. 8A. What are they afraid of? Horses. Horses and heights. 9A. Are they superstitious about anything? No. 10A. What secrets do they keep, if anything? Nora is not a very secretive person. There are some things that she’d rather keep to herself, but nothing jarring. She has very few skeletons in her closet and she prefers to be open and brashly honest about things. This usually lands her in trouble. 10B. How well are these secrets kept? It takes quite a bit to get her to trust someone openly enough to spill any secrets, so I would say fairly well. Section 3: Mental Abilities 1A. What can/cannot they do mentally? (ie, IQ, certain school subjects, mental/emotional health)

She is an absolute master with literature and wordage. She loves the musicality of language and she has an excellent memory. She’s not quite as in touch with her emotions as she should seem, and often comes across as cold and arrogant.

1B. What are they strongest at? She is strongest with language. She can find just the right words to express how she feels or the right passage to say what she means.

1C. What are they weakest at?

Her emotions are well-guarded and very much a treasure. She is not prone to passionate outbursts as some would like to believe, but get her angry enough and she will explode like a tiny blonde volcano. 2A. What do they like to do?

She likes to read and write letters. She also greatly enjoys arguing and debates. 3A. What do they hate to do? She hates having to dumb herself down or to play the simpering dumb blonde. It’s demeaning and very much something she’s had to do before. She loathes it.

4A. Were they educated? Absolutely. 4B. If so, did they enjoy it? Very much so, yes.

4C. for how long? She’s got a basic ladies education and some charm school (she never graduated because she was kicked out for radical ideas and sassing the teachers)

Section 4: History

1B. What do they remember most about it?

She mostly remembers arguing with her teachers about certain points in history and societal views on marriage, owning property, ect. Add to the fact that she did not have many friends at this point that she could talk to. She was rather lonely at school.

2A. What were their teen years like? It was full of frills and lace and it’s something she shudders to think about. This would be around the time that her Aunt Jessie took her in and started grooming her to be a good Southern debutante. This means charm school, girl’s boarding school, things of that sort. She was sort of groomed into the perfect wife, but it made her angry and bitter. She’s like a tiny human espresso.

3A. What do they struggle to accomplish? Being a woman in the Civil War Era, you struggle with a lot of things. Men do not take her seriously when they absolutely should, people don’t listen to her, her emotional health is all over the place from her concealing everything inside, the woman is a mess of issues. 4A. What do they regret the most; if anything? She greatly regrets moving down to Georgia. She completely ruined her relationship with her mother in that regard and there are times when she wishes things could have been different between them. 5A. How did they end up on their current path? Was it their choice? Yes and no. Her aunt took her in when her mother was at her wit’s end and that was beyond her control, but she made the choice to run away from her own engagement party and fraternize with a dentist turned bounty hunter.

6A. Did anything serious happen that changed their life forever? Absolutely. Meeting Dr. Schultz completely changed her life around, sometimes for the worse and sometimes for the better. She likes to joke that it was for the worse, but he knows better.

Section 5: Family 1A. Who are their parents? Jacqueline and George Lémieux 2A. What is their sexual orientation? Nora is a boring run-of-the-mill heterosexual 3A. Are they involved with anyone romantically? Who?

You bet your ass she is, but she’ll never admit it. Dr. Schultz is her dearest and closest friend, and there are times where she feels they’re more than that. She usually keeps that to herself. 3B. What do they like/love about this person? what do they dislike or hate? She is in love with his mind, his manner of speaking, his quick thinking and his sense of morality. What she doesn’t like is his stubbornness and pride. And his innate selfishness. She could smack some sense into that man, seriously.

4A. Do they have a best friend? Who?

She doesn’t really have friends? Nora is a quiet and closed-off sort of person, though she does get on well with Hildy. 4B. Why are they best friends? I don’t think anyone could not like Broomhilda. She’s adorable and sweet and must be protected at all costs. Nora likes her because of her unrelenting spirit and because she has someone she can learn German from who doesn’t like to annoy her for shits and giggles.

4C. Any other friends?

Sure, any friend of the good doctor is a friend of hers. She adores Django especially.

5A. Do they hate anyone? Does anyone hate them? Who?

She hates Calvin J Candie and all his ilk. She especially hates his cousin Randy Mackle because she was forced into a marriage with him. The feeling is rather mutual. Randy doesn’t appreciate a smart mouth or anyone who doesn’t take his shit. He’s a bully and a douchecanoe. Section 7: Is there anything else you have to say about this character?

I absolutely love writing about Nora and I hope you guys enjoy learning more about her. She’s a load of fun to write with, and I hope she’s a joy for you guys to interact with if you ever find the time!

#warning: super long post #i am so sorry #this is so long jfc #i hope you guys got to know nora a little better #she's changed so much since i've had her #i'm so proud #*sniffles a little*#django unchained ofc

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thismountainhastigers · 6 years

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Here’s hoping the formatting transfers over...

humility: (n.) an understanding of one’s place in relation to a deity

1996. I am born in Norfolk, Virginia to a pair of Georgia Tech grads, who twenty years later will readily admit that they had no idea what they were doing—and because they recorded nearly every moment of my first few years of life, I can say that they are not exaggerating. As the firstborn, I am constantly in the spotlight, and I am taught at a young age (though indirectly) to do as I am told and perform the role they expect from me as best I can.

Admittedly, contrary to what my parents must have thought with cameras rolling day and night, very little interesting happens at this point, so we will need to skip ahead a bit…

2006. My family has seen the additions of my sister, my brother, and our two dogs. We have lived in five states, but it appears that Waxhaw, North Carolina will be our final home. My parents, both raised Southern Baptist, have decided that this was the way in which they wanted to bring up their children as well. We are at church three times a week almost every week; if the doors are open, you will find one of my parents teaching a class, my younger siblings in the children’s choir, and me—only there because I have to be, but playing my part nonetheless. For the most part, church to me is an extension of school (i.e. another place for me to be around my friends while being a bit of a know-it-all teacher’s pet). It has the added benefit of getting me involved in community service at a young age, but overall I see it, like school, as just another place I have to be for a few hours every week.

One day in my fifth-grade Sunday school class, a boy asks me point-blank if I am a Christian. I’m not sure what flaw he saw in my performance, but my family has an image to maintain, and I have my own role in that, so I tell him yes, regardless of whether or not there was any truth to it.

2013. Five years from this point, I will spend days agonizing over if and how to tell a room of twenty strangers this part of my story. It will not only change whatever image they may have of me but possibly obliterate it, but maybe that’s what I need most. The first few attempts will skip it altogether, and the next set will attempt to hide the worst details behind flowery language, but only in the final draft will I realize that little else in my life makes sense without it in its entirety. In 2013, I try to kill myself. Clearly, things do not go as planned, and there is nothing quite like a near-death experience to put your life in perspective. In the aftermath, I come to two conclusions:

1. I am way more scared of God than I am of any of the circumstances that led me to that point. (I am barely an agnostic most days, but there are no atheists in foxholes, right?)

2. He appears to still want me on Earth.

I hesitate to use the word “love” in almost every context, my experiences with the word thus far are less than ideal, but what I am starting to realize on the other side of a would-be tragedy is that there exists a love that surpasses what I had been receiving up until then, the kind the makes life worth living and sees beyond the present into the potential of the future. (As some of you may have heard, “perfect love casts out fear.” (1 John 4:18))

While most have heard of making a deal with the devil, I make a deal with God. I am losing faith in my own abilities to run my own life on my terms, so I would entrust it to Him to do what He wishes. Whatever little faith I have is rooted in the belief that His plans are at least better. All I have to do is stay alive to watch Him work. I know it is not an end to the negative circumstances surrounding my almost-untimely-end, but an acknowledgement that I cannot get through it on my own. In what is perhaps the first prayer that I actually mean, I tell God, “Fine, I’ll trust you. What am I here for?”

2015. At this point, I have realized that if I really want to hold up my end of the bargain, there has to be more to my religious life than prayer and generally avoiding offing myself. If I believe that I owe God my life, I owe Him defined beliefs, few as they are at this time, and I need to get involved in a faith community that can help me grow spiritually.

What’s more, I want to better integrate my faith into as many aspects of my life as possible, which is proving to be more difficult as I plan to go into the sciences in college. It was the religious crowd back in Waxhaw that insisted science could not coexist with religion. I heard it all growing up: dinosaur fossils are there to test our faith, evolution (even microevolution) does not happen, the Earth is most definitely 6000 years old, despite all of the evidence to the contrary. While I do not yet know the best way to reconcile science and faith as I leave high school, I do know that faith is believing it what cannot be seen, not the denial of what is plainly in front of you.

2017. In the previous two years, I have explored the various denominations of Protestantism, Islam, the Baha’i faith, and given some attention to eastern philosophy. I have long left behind my Southern Baptist roots, but I still find myself in the Christian camp. There are constants to my faith, namely 1) the universe was created, 2) humans enjoy some sort of privileged status in creation, so 3) it is our responsibility to look after the rest of it. Delving into what else is out there has not been easy in any respect, for me or for those who do not understand my need to find a “right” way to live for God.

After two years are free exploration, the “right” way is Catholicism in 2017, whose structure and hierarchy is a welcome change—something I do not tell my family until we are in month five of the seven-month RCIA program. And for good reason: the week after I finally let it slip that I was spending about four hours a week learning about the Catholic Church, occasionally attending Mass, and considering the possibility of being confirmed at Easter, my sister texts me the following: “Mom’s crying because you might go to hell.” (If you were wondering, no, I do not mention any previous research into other religions. I promise they’ve gotten a lot better, too.) I am not actually confirmed at Easter. Not only do I still have dozens of questions that were left unanswered, I do not know if I am ready to give up those closest to me in the name of a “right” way (should it exist at all).

The search continues.

2028. I have finished medical school and residency and completed my board certification. I am ready to become a full-time practicing physician. I will try to find a place to work in the rural areas of North Carolina for a while, but I have plans to work in even more neglected areas internationally. Of course, I cannot say for certain what the future will hold, but if I believe nothing else, it is that the best way to serve God is to serve His creation.

#writing assignment

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