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limpblotter · 7 years

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JOHSNAVI

Who said “I love you” first (Johan)

Johan looks over at Usnavi doing one of those mundane house chores while the taller man lounges around. He takes it all in, how hard working his boyfriend was even when it was something as pointless as putting away the groceries. Slowly, Johan rose from his spot on the couch and walked over to the kitchen. He picked up one of the bags of groceries and started putting away alongside Usnavi.

“Well, well el vago mio is helping me?” Usnavi rolled his eyes, delicately putting things into the fridge. They didn’t speak, it was …strangely normal. As if they hadn’t just started living together, like they were a seasoned couple coexisting perfectly. Like…they weren’t kids playing house. This was real. Usnavi blushed, he felt silly for finding something is simple so heartwarming. He was just about done putting away when Johan kissed the top of his head.

“I love you.” He said nonchalantly. He watched as Usnavi froze in his place and chuckled a bit. “Sorry, too soon? It felt right. All of this and–” No more, Usnavi spun around and kissed him. They were definitely not kids playing house anymore.

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background (Both but different pics)

“Yo, primo, my phone died mind if I get it?” Sonny asked but was already reaching for the phone that sat, faced down on the top of the store counter. Usnavi was up on his ladder cleaning out the shelves when he heard Sonny. Immediately was about to deny him, when he saw his cousin turn his phone over and poke at the home screen button. “ESPARA!” He wailed, forgoing his work and started stumbling down the steps. It was too late, by the time he got to Sonny they were both staring down at his lock screen photo. Johan, topless and slightly glistening with sweat as he sat crossed legged in his tight yoga pants. His eyes were closed and hair was up as if he was mediating. Shamelessly, Usnavi walked in on one of Johan’s yoga sessions and couldn’t help himself.

“It’s cool, I keep pics of Pete on my phone” Sonny smirked a bit as his cousin ripped the phone out of his hand. “But none of those pics are appropriate for a background~” That earned him a slap at the back of his head. Meanwhile: Johan standing in line while someone approached him with a dinner and invite. “Sorry, I’m happily taken.” He took out his phone and opened to his home screen, being a selfie of him and Usnavi, Johan kissing Usnavi’s cheek as he smiled. “Isn’t he the cutest?”

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror (Usnavi for important reasons)

Johan often leaves cute doodles on the fog of the mirror after his nearly two hour showers. He was surprised, one day after another especially long shower Usnavi had opened the door. “Babe?” He called out but heard the door shut immediately after. He figured Usnavi was heading out to man the store so the silence didn’t bother him. When Usnavi was in the zone, he was in the zone. Once he was done he was surprised to find there were words left on the mirror. And it read;

Amor, as much as I love and adore you, you don’t fucking pay for the water bill ok? You think the water is cheap, hijo de tu madre!! Take shorter showers JOHAN! …

Johan smiled a bit, a blush gracing his cheeks. “God I love that man.” He chuckled, taking his large hand and wiping over the message.

Who buys the other cheesy gifts (Usnavi 100%)

“So…” Usnavi walked in with a bag. Johan arched an eyebrow, it was not a plastic grocery bag or a paper bag from the store.

Johan slowly got to his feet. “Did you…” he gasped, “go shopping?” Suddenly his shock turned to a small pout. “Without me?! Navi how could you.” Shopping was one of Johan’s favorite things, though he was not a fan of the capitalist and consumerism of this counter. He did admire looking good, and if the said thing happened to be a hipster recycled, thrifted, worn, over expensive piece that he would only wear once…he wanted it. “Ugh don’t tell me you went to the 99cent store…those things get all of their shit from sweatshops in China.”

Usnavi fidgeted a little, he looked down at the dollar store bag and suddenly felt stupid. “Ah…fuck…” He pulled out a small snowglobe with a small Eiffel Tower inside. “…I know you miss France from time to time and I saw this and …sorry it’s stupid, I’ll return it.” He quickly shoved it back in the bag when Johan’s large hands ripped the bag from him. He tossed the plastic bag aside and held the snow globe in his hands. “You got this for me?” He smiled a bit, shaking the globe so the sparkly white flecks were now raining down on the plastic tower. “Usnavi I love it.” “Good, I won’t tell the sweatshop children that you love it too…” He frowned, noting to himself to stop purchasing his things from the dollar store.

Who initiated the first kiss (Johan)

Usnavi looked too good. His eyes fixated on the movie they were watching, their arms brushed up against each other. “This is the best part.” He whispered, not looking at Johan. He was so focused on the screen he didn’t notice, Johan wasn’t watching at all. Johan was watching Usnavi, his face completely focused on the scene playing out. While Johan couldn’t even remember what they were watching. Johan shifted his body a little, taking in how the light bounced off Usnavi’s face so wonderfully. How Usnavi watched intensely, his lips slightly parted.

“Hey…” Johan poked him a little, Usnavi turned his head and was met with a kiss. He inhaled sharply, letting the initial wave of shock wash over him. Immediately after, warmed soaked in through his lips and traveled down his body. He pushed back on those soft lips, melted into the kiss. Slowly Johan pulled away, eyes dilated with fear of what Usnavi would think. What he’d say…Usnavi slowly touched his lips, they trembled, his eyes glossed over as he met Johan’s stare. “You missed the best part…” he mumbled, shifting closer to Johan. “You should have waited until the end…”

Who kisses the other awake in the morning (Usnavi)

“Fuck.” Not again, Usnavi felt the weight of his man on his body, arms clinging to his head, a leg around his waist. “Jesus!” He was up at the crack of dawn. His body a trained clock that someone could set their watches to. He shifted his weight and rolled to his side the best he could. He was face to face with Johan and that stupid eyemask. He sighed, another day he was set back a few minutes because someone hugged Usnavi like his life depended on it…Not that he complained. It was routine, Johan was now a part of it he was working with. Learning to make a routine around. Usnavi leaned in and placed a kiss on his boyfriend’s sleepy lips. “Good morning.” “M…mmm…” Johan smiled a bit, usually a deep sleeper he was learning to wake up early thanks to Usnavi. Not that he liked it. “Nope, still asleep, need a few more of those.”

Who starts tickle fights (Johan starts but…Usnavi finishes them)

“You are so tense…” Johan had his body friend on his stomach, though no sex was happening. His large hands were working through years of tension built up along his lover’s body. “You need to learn to relax, babe.” “Que relax? I’m relaxed!” He hissed, “I’m so relaxed right now.” “Yes because relaxed people hiss.” He smirked, “you need to laugh more, you have so much pent up stress, let loose.”Johan ran his fingers down Usnavi’s sides, he tickled and proded at Usnavi but not sounds came from him. “…” “I’m not ticklish.” Usnavi smirked, he sounded almost smug. He quickly rolled from under Johan’s hands now that he was taken back and pounced at his boyfriend. He ran his hands up Johan’s sides up to his pits and the tall man fell like Goliath and Usnavi was David. “But I see you are~” he smirked watching Johan’s frame crumple and his mouth wide, letting out wild peals of laughter.

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower (Johan but he doesn’t really ask)

“Babe I’m home from yoga, I need to take a shower.” Johan walked into the bathroom, finding Usnavi was already under the water. “Too bad, I’m in.” He answered immediately. “And I’m not going to wait around for you to spend forever, our water bills are through the roof, Jo.”

Johan rolled his eyes, always about the bills this one, he thought to himself. “I have to shower, or else the bad energy will seep back into my pores.” Usnavi ignored Johan and began to whistle as he lathered himself up. He felt a cold wind against his body, he opened his eyes and found Johan, completely naked had pulled back the curtain. “What are you doing!?” Usnavi gulped, red in the face and back against the cold, wet bathroom tile.“Saving water for our water bills~”

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch (Both)

“That was a great session ladies.” Johan smiled, he watched as his yoga class began to wrap up and he had another class starting in a few hours. One of the yoga students walked up to him and began to chat him up. She playfully slapped his arm and began to twirl her hair, clearly on the flirtatious front but Johan was blissfully unaware. His mind was more focused on food, his next session, going home to his Dominican lover. The door to his yoga class swung open and Usnavi stormed in. “Babe!”Johan smiled when suddenly a bag was shoved to his chest. “You got me lunch, how swe–” He felt the straps of his tank top get yanked down.

Usnavi planted a hard kiss on Johan’s lips and huffed. “Surprise, lunch date, lets GO.” He grunted, watching the woman slowly back off. ___Rush hour was killing Usnavi. He rang up at least fifty people, working through his lunch hour so Sonny could yap on the phone. His phone had gone off several times but he had no time to answer it. Instead he learned to ignore the buzzing for now, focused on his work. He thought he had served just enough everyone when the store door chimed. He turned to greet who came in and smiled softly when he noticed it was Johan. “What are you doing here?”

“I thought I’d ask you out to lunch but you didn’t pick up.” He pulled up a Whole Foods bag and placed it on the counter.

“Sorry I was busy…” he watched as Johan took out two salads, always thinking of keeping Usnavi healthy. Some fresh green looking juices and an electric, twist on candle. “How romantic.” “Healthy and environmentally friendly, bon appetite~”

Who was nervous and shy on the first date (Usnavi)

“Navi’ you look fine.” Nina chuckled watching Usnavi pace the floor. It was his first real date with Johan. They were going to their first real date and it was a fancy dinner at a Tapas place. Johan had planned it all out and all Usnavi had to do was show up. Yup, show up, easy. No. “Usnavi you’ve already changed four times, you look fine.” She watched as Usnavi stopped in front of the mirror, he unbuttoned then rebuttoned the top button of his shirt. He fixed his collar three times and sighed. “Too casual…I should go with a tie, right? A tie…” He spun around feeling so…plain. A white button up and nice pants? Knowing Johan he was going to show up fashionable, dazzling…breathtaking. He started to break out in a sweat just thinking about how much of a drab disappointment he’d be. “Nina…call Johan, T-Tell him I’m sick.” “Oh I will” Nina smirked, “Love sick. Usnavi chill.”

Who kills/takes out the spiders (Usnavi sorta)

“AHHHHHHHHH!” Johan screamed at the top of his lungs from the bedroom.

“QUE PASO?” Usnavi emerged with a baseball bat. He found his boyfriend in a small ball at the corner of his bed. “Babe? Baby…Jo what happened?” Usnavi was more than ready to kick ass and take no names. He watched as Johan pointed to a small, eight legged critter in the corner. “…are you fucking serious?” He dropped the bat and suppressed the urge to whack his beloved with it. “Johan…you’re parents were hippies, you were adopted into a tree cult when you were five, you use to camp like homeless people. You CANNOT be afraid of spiders.” He laughed a bit more exasperatedly than humorous.

Johan didn’t find it funny. “I got bit by a spider, and you know what my parents did when I got an allergic reaction? I spent five hours in a river with leeches stuck to my arm. I am not, getting bit by another spider AGAIN” He felt those old flashbacks hit him like wartime. Usnavi honestly had no answer for him. He went over picking up a flipflop to end the creature when his boyfriend let out another heart wrenching screech. “CONO what now!?” “…don’t…kill it just…take it out…please.” Johan muttered softly, his poor little expression. Usnavi sighed, putting down the flipflop he used his hand and cupped the spider, bravely, setting it out on the fire escape. “Thank you…” he smiled. Usnavi slowly turned around and held up his now reddening hand. “Hey..uh…you think leechs will work or vics?” He blinked at his spider bite, while Johan screeched for a third time, reaching for the phone.

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk (USNAVI DE LE FUCKIN’ VEGA)

Johan and Usnavi didn’t get out much. When they did they tried to make it an experience. Johan being new to New York City still and Usnavi, though a native, didn’t get out much. Something that came with their same sex relationship was the discovery of gay bars. Though Usnavi often said he didn’t really identify with gay. He was working through banishing gay man tropes he had grown up around, and the fact he was at one point very attracted to Vanessa. Usnavi was bisexual, and Johan-sexual if that was a thing. Gay bars were more Johan’s style, he shared a lot of similar interests, he knew how to work a crowd.

“So, did you come here alone?” A friendly stranger smiled at Johan who was temporarily alone at the bar. Johan had been working on his Bloody Mary after Usnavi downed shots like water. Eventually his boyfriend had to flee to pee and left Johan alone. “Someone as handsome as yourself can’t be single.”

He wasn’t, before he could answer from across the room emerging from the bathroom Usnavi wailed at the top of his lungs. “I LOVE YOU, JOHAN JOOOOOHNSON.” He swayed and stumbled over to Johan. “Mi amor, mi vida, mi carino, te amo, mi Jojojojooo~” He threw his arms over Johan and climbed on top of his lap. The friendly stranger took a few steps back as the small drunken man nestled himself on top of Johan. “No. I’m taken.” Johan smiled, drinking his drink with one hand and patting Usnavi’s back with the other.

#I WAS SERIOUS ABOUT DRABBLING THESE #limpyPreguntas #johsnavi #johsnavi headcanons #johsnavi drabbles #this fucking ship #will end me #hi hamlitonhistory

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shaunstoffer · 7 years

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Dedicated to my instructors Adrienne and Kenny, and my grandfather Yap Kim Hao. “Let us remember: One book, one pen, one child, and one teacher can change the world.”

I came to Prague for a month to earn my TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) Certification. I had been to several countries in Western Europe so I found myself constantly trying to absorb the culture but at the same time naturally comparing to life in the USA, Singapore, and Western Europe. I had easily learned survival French and even German but regularly butchered Czech even after a few language lessons. It has gone to the extent that it has become my life’s mission to say four in Czech “ctyri”.

None of my class knew but my grandfather had endured a minor heart attack while I was attending the course. I’m a bit of an obnoxious asshole to be frank, this came from growing up and being let down by my friends, loved ones, and role models time and again. So overtime I learned to “turn off” my feelings and refer to a visage of an insensitive person. I’m not proud of this but acknowledge it, I am an individual so sensitive and caring that I act the complete opposite to hide it. I wish I had confided in someone, but history has urged me to bottle it up and shut off my emotions – I dislike this the most about myself.

TEFL Worldwide Prague “Family Night”. (Yes, that is a puma. We went to Krakora Bar in Prague where the owner legally owns a pair of tame pumas who roam the bar on occasion.)

I learned quickly that Czech people are cold. It’s an uncommon occurrence for a passerby to smile or small talk with you even in a bar. This is not to say the people are rude but they are shy and reserved and it reflects as unwelcoming. Asking for directions, to pet someone’s dog, change for bigger bills, or to bum a cigarette is seen by Czechs as a weird and awkward request especially when they don’t know you. That being said, Czech people do have the best behaved dogs I have ever seen! So well-trained that it’s a frequent occurrence to see dogs following their owners off leash everywhere from the metro to school, Czechs see their dogs as their children so asking to pet them can come across as asking to pet their son or daughter so it’s just best not to be done.

1. See the Dancing House: Although closed to the general public Dancing House is just one of the many beautiful examples of Prague’s unmatched architecture.

2. Stroll through Charles Bridge: Prague is about as safe as it gets. Locals joke pickpocketing is said to be common in Prague because “experts” couldn’t find anything else criminal that occurs in the city.

3. Admire the St. Vitus Cathedral in the Prague Castle Grounds: Castles and holy places are widespread throughout the Czech Republic and Europe for that matter, therefore I always opt to find ones that are unique and standout to me – St. Vitus Cathedral was one of those.

Getting into the castle grounds you have to prepare for three things: a lot of steps, more often than not a long line, and security consisting of a walk through metal detector, a wand, and a pat down reinforced by cold stares from a small army of soldiers, law enforcement, and castle guards – although most people adore posing next to stationed guards to add a photo to their scrapbook.

4. St. Nicholas Church: As I mentioned before the Bell Tower, which is a separate entrance and fee, was my prime reason for scouting out this church, however I adored the ceiling painting and artwork.

5. Find Your Favorite Viewpoints! Because of the varied elevation finding the best viewpoints was one of my favorite activities in Prague. Pictured below is my favorite viewpoint from the top of steps up to the castle grounds.

6. Take a Selfie at Lennon Bridge: An ode to John Lennon from various local artists, this wall is regularly being painted over and changing over time, and it’s all too common for a passerby to pose in front of it for a new profile picture.

7. See the Astronomical Clock’s Puppet Show in Old Town Square: The Astronomical Clock to me was a bit of a let down as the hourly puppet show is only a few seconds long and underwhelming to say the least. Regardless, there is always a mob standing in front of it with their phones and cameras out patiently waiting for the show to begin. It’s one of those things that I refer to as being so bad that it’s good, kind of like the film Roadhouse.

8. Walk Through “The Narrowest Street in Prague”: This one-way alleyway is so tight that it has a traffic light.

9. Find the Love Locks: Primarily found in various spots underneath Charles Bridge, I admit I’m indifferent towards love locks as I consider it a bit tacky and just don’t think it’s that romantic of a gesture to, in a small sense, vandalize public property to express your affection for someone. The collective weight of love locks has gotten to the extent where they must be removed regularly as part of city maintenance due to structural damage to attractions such as the Eiffel Tower. However, I occasionally see them as little mosaics of art. I am torn in my opinion to say the least.

10. Go to a Thai parlor and have fish eat your feet. Literally they are widespread throughout Prague and cost around $20 for a 30 minute session. Get a great Snapchat and surf while little schools fish consume the dead skin off your feet.

11. Ride the Metro! The public transportation is unmatched in Prague and very clean at that, the metro has three lines (A, B, & C) which intersect in the center of Prague and each line only goes two directions so if you ever miss your stop like me simply get off, walk across the platform, and take the subway back. Moreover, my first experience using the metro led to me paying a fine of 800 Czech krowns ($30) for buying a child’s ticket instead of an adult’s by mistake. The result of a simple overlook when buying from the ticket machine and rotten luck since tourists are targeted on the metro by police for this exact reason.

The districts in Prague are relatively easy to navigate as they are numbered just like in the Hunger Games. I lived in Prague 9 while I earned my TEFL certification and when I had friends come and visit jokes about who “volunteered as tribute” were shared relatively often.

12. Feast! Czech food is for meat and potatoes eaters. Dumplings, sauerkraut, schnitzel, and goulash are some traditional Czech entrees. Czech food is more so about being savory and filling as opposed to being nutritional or complex – so you won’t find many fruits or vegetables in entrees. That being said, I’m not sure why but KFC is everywhere in Prague – I guess because Czech’s love that it’s finger lickin’ good!

Tipping isn’t common in Prague as customer service is nonexistent. Tipping 10% on a bill is considered generous. Generally patrons will simply round up their tab so if they have a bill that is 180 Czech krowns they will just hand over a 200 note and say keep it or ask for how much of their change they want back. Czech people will never be insulted by a nice tip but again make sure to lower your expectations of customer service when eating out in Prague..

Paying in big bills is inconsiderate. 25 Czech krowns equates to $1 US Dollar and typical entrees will not cost more than $8 or 200 krowns. So paying with a 5000 or 2000 Czech note for a small bill is often seen as inconsiderate because servers and bartenders don’t make nearly enough to regularly make change for large bills and will run out of small bills themselves. Czech notes come in 100, 200, 500, 1000, 2000, and 5000 and coins come in .1, .2, .5, .10, .20, and .50. It’s similar to if someone in the USA gave you a $100 bill at a restaurant for a $5 meal and then asks for all ones or fives in change.

13. Do Laundry: The washers in a lot of Europe are TINY. Not much bigger than a microwave, these washers are about a third of the size of the washers I’m accustomed to using while I was living in America.

Hang drying your clothes on drying racks strategically placed by heaters is widespread in Europe, especially during the winter season. Expect to wait a day or two for thick articles of clothing like jeans to dry and even then the seams might still be damp on top of the stiffness becoming uncomfortable and inconvenient. It’s also a good idea to crack a nearby window open so that the air doesn’t become humid.

14. Take a Bath: I will always loathe laying down in a bathtub and holding a shower head over me although I appreciate being able to brush my teeth in one room while my roommate relieves himself in the other. I am 6 feet tall and loathed bathing for this reason, my French roommate was 6 foot 6 and had long hair, I would not wish what he had to endure in there on my worst enemy.

15. Go on a Day Trip! Prague has some of best day trips. Kutna Hora, Cesky Krumlov, Cesky Raj, and Velka Amerika are among a few of Czech Republic’s best kept secrets. Architecture, museums, hiking, castles, cathedrals, whitewater rafting – you name it the Czech Republic has it. Germany, Poland, Slovakia and Austria are also only a few hours away by bus or train.

Kutna Hora’s Bone Church:

16. Admire the Fauna: Swans and peacocks are typical wildlife in Prague as well as hedgehogs in the spring when it’s warmer.

17. Get a Workout: Steps in Prague are a everywhere when it comes to traveling and sightseeing. The escalators are among the steepest I have ever seen and taking a series of stairs to go anywhere should be expected. I’m not nearly in the shape I used to be when I was cagefighting but maintain some form of health and fitness through hiking and walking everywhere so I always got a good laugh at watching people take a break trying to overcome the many steps up to a tower, down to a metro station, and especially up to the castle grounds. I’m an asshole, I know, you don’t have to tell me.

18. Turn your head at the prices. The cost of living and especially visiting Prague is dirt cheap from taking Ubers, to hotels, to eating out. Beer is cheaper than water, not by a lot but it definitely is. On average a pint of beer at a bar will cost between $1-2, in a grocery store it is possible to order a plastic 2-liter of beer for the same price range. While in the meantime a small water, depending on factors such as if it’s flavored, sparkling, glass bottled, will cost a few cents more at a bar and potentially a few dollars more at a grocery store depending on the factors. Note that is is customary in Prague to have a lot of head on your beer.

Prague has the Guinness World Record for annual consumption of beer in the world. You can even pay to bathe in beer. Yes, for around $90 you can bathe in a tub of Bernard Brewery’s homemade beer.

18 Things You Must Do In Prague Dedicated to my instructors Adrienne and Kenny, and my grandfather Yap Kim Hao. "Let us remember: One book, one pen, one child, and one teacher can change the world."

#Backpacking #Bucket List #Budget Travel #Central Europe #Culture Shock #Czech Republic #Europe #Prague #Study Abroad #Wanderlust

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