#and matt's fucking Smile afterward. speaks a thousand words

[pocketgalaxies]

We want to destroy my mother. (insp by @dadrielle)

#critical role #criticalroleedit #imogen temult #liliana temult #laura bailey #matthew mercer #gifs #* #*cr #cr3 #cr spoilers #angst tag #cr meta #nova shh #scheduled #3h12m c3e88 #18m c3e12 #3h17m c3e42 #3h42m c3e51 #4h20m c3e51 #1h35m c3e49 #i think this gifset might be a little bit unfair to liliana from a third party perspective but #i think it's Very Real for imogen. to feel like she reached out so many times and the loyalty there was so fucking flimsy #barely there to begin with and then gone in an instant as everything turned to red mist #thinking about how laura on 4sd a while ago said imogen is so fucking sick of it she's sick of having that hope #her reality is that her mother no longer has any loyalty to her and the pain of thinking she does isn't worth it anymore #:(((( #'help me.' 'this is for the best.' breaks my H E A R T :((((((((( #and matt's fucking Smile afterward. speaks a thousand words #thanks rj for the discord message that kicked this off!!!

[forasecondtherewedwon]

Kentucky Calling

Pairing: Beth Harmon/Benny Watts Rating: T Word Count: 1426

Summary: Beth calls Benny up, hoping to talk a few things through after Russia, and finds him just as eager to hear her voice as she is to hear his.

“What?”

Beth’s eyebrows rise at Benny’s fed-up tone.

“Well, this isn’t the greeting I was expecting.” She smiles against the receiver.

“Beth?”

“That’s right,” she says with a laugh in her voice. “Who am I supposed to be?”

He groans and her smile widens, sure his irritation is not for her.

“The fucking State Department.”

“Why are you angry at the State Department?”

“They wouldn’t give me any details about you, when you were expected back. I managed to keep one son of a bitch on the line half an hour, but he just squirmed the whole time, refusing to share your itinerary. Where are— You’re back,” he says with sudden realization.

She hears him calm and uses the change to judge how worried he was a moment ago. Fairly worried, Beth decides. Oh, Benny.

“Yep. In Lexington as we speak. Calling from my own kitchen.”

He sighs.

“You might’ve let me know.”

“You know, I asked on the plane, but the pilot just wouldn’t radio the control tower to call you up for me,” she jokes. She laughs.

“So, did you give them the slip?”

“More or less. The State Department’s itinerary didn’t align very well with mine at the end there. I stayed a couple extra days to actually experience a little of the city and then flew home by myself.”

“Huh.”

“Benny?”

“Yeah?”

Beth grips the phone.

“Are you going to forgive me for worrying you? Now that I’ve confirmed they didn’t lose me over the Atlantic?”

“You yes. Them? No. Those bastards deserve a little hassling after they didn’t fund your trip. They pay a guy to watch you every waking goddamn minute, plus his flight, his room—how much does that cost?”

“I can’t believe you’ve been sitting around harassing the government on my behalf,” Beth says wonderingly, partly to head off Benny’s building rant. The man loves to talk.

“Well, the others got sick of me, as you can imagine.”

“Harry? Matt? The others? They’re still with you?”

“Can’t get rid of ‘em. They’ve been celebrating since you won and sleeping that off until midafternoon. When they drag themselves out to have lunch somewhere, I… well, I sit around with the phone to my ear, on hold, looking for you.”

“I beat him,” she whispers, because she can finally break the news to him herself.

“You did.” She can feel Benny smiling in the long pause. She’s doing the same. “I saw the writeup of your moves; looked like the most expensive phone call I’ve ever made was worth something.”

“It meant a lot. If you hadn’t had a clue about what I should try next against Borgov, it would’ve meant the same.”

“Look. I’m… I shouldn’t have spoken to you the way I did before you left. I felt terrible about it right away.”

“Good. And I…” Beth takes a deep breath that she’s sure he can hear. She twists the phone cord around her finger and tilts her head back against the wall. “…I shouldn’t have pushed you away in the first place. I hurt you, I could hear it in your voice, and—”

“I don’t need excuses. It was shortsighted of me to get defensive. What you were trying to accomplish was bigger than me.”

She agrees with a hum and adds, “Yes. Beating communists in the name of Jesus is for the good of us all.”

She thrills at his burst of laughter.

“How the hell did you pay for Moscow without them?”

“Jolene. You’ll meet her sometime, I hope.”

“If that means I can see you again, I’d be glad to.”

Now, there’s a distinct lack of breath because they both seem to be holding it.

“You will,” she says. After grazing her gaze thoughtfully around the kitchen, Beth frowns and remembers something. “Did the papers say anything about how Borgov looked at the end of the match?”

“They said he took the defeat with dignity. That he hugged you—is that true?”

She rolls her eyes at Benny’s poorly disguised annoyance.

“Yes, but I mean his face. He seemed at peace. Like I had helped him, somehow. Other people I’ve played, and I’m sure people you’ve played too, have this franticness, this terrifying, transparently obvious floundering quality. They don’t know what they’re going to do with the next five minutes of their life after losing, never mind months or years. But Borgov knew. His wife and son were always with him. I think, at the end, he was ready to be with his family.” She waits a second or two, mentally checking and confirming her next move before she speaks. “That’s what I want too.”

“I— What is this, Beth? A proposal?”

She laughs and clutches the phone as she shakes her head.

“Of course not. I just want you to know that you’re important to me.” Her voice grows solemn and fond. “Thank you for calling. I’ll never forget it.”

“I guess I had enough to get to Moscow with you after all,” Benny says, speech softening similarly until he sounds impossibly intimate. Like he only really has that time he said he missed her. The fact that he’s more vulnerable like this than he is face-to-face is something Beth enjoys about them being far enough apart to need to call. He clears his throat. “So it’s good that you weren’t trying to propose, because we know my, uh, allocation of funds could use some improvement and you don’t need to saddle yourself with that.”

“I certainly don’t. I have three thousand dollars to pay back to Jolene and then… I don’t know. Keep paying for the house.”

Beth twirls her hand in the air to indicate it, though he’s not there to see. If she tries, she can picture his leather jacket folded over the back of a chair, his hat tossed carelessly onto the counter. It’s not a bad picture. Definitely not the worst domestic vignette this place has ever staged.

“Grand plans.”

“Don’t make fun of me.”

“Make fun of the woman who just annihilated the World Champion? I wouldn’t dare. You’d drive straight out here and do to me what you did to Borgov. I can only be humbled like that so often.”

“Once every fifteen years?” she prompts.

“Hmm, ideally, but I won’t be able to resist playing you that long.”

“Well, I won’t go easy.”

“Going easy would only insult me,” Benny assures her.

“Got it. You prefer being beaten so thoroughly that I have to sweep the ashes of your ego off the board afterwards. Like dust.”

“I’m not rushing to play you again after that comment.”

“We could do something else. When I see you,” Beth elaborates, feeling herself perk up, her back straightening. “We don’t have to play chess.”

“The two of us, not playing chess.” He sounds like he’s genuinely contemplating it. “That’s original, but I don’t think it’d last very long. How much of the time we’ve shared has been spent not playing chess? I’ll tell you: very little.”

“But it’s possible. Whether or not you’ll stop talking about chess, on the other hand…”

“I—ha—I do remember a particular instance of you being ticked off at me about that.”

Whether or not Beth has consciously led them there, they’ve arrived. At least he can recall that going over strategy immediately after they had sex didn’t impress her, though he was befuddled by her brusqueness at the time.

“You wanna show me that you’ve learned from that?” she challenges.

She hears the groan he must be muffling behind his hand.

“If I told you in full how badly I want to show you that, we’d be running up another big telephone bill.”

Beth smiles coyly to herself and taps her fingernail against the back of the receiver.

“How big, Benny?”

“Beth, I— Hey, you’re back!” His voice is louder and she understands it’s for other people, the friends who have reentered his apartment. “No, idiot, she doesn’t want to talk to you. She doesn’t have to tell me, I already know.”

“Tell them all I hope to see them soon,” she pipes up to reclaim Benny’s attention. They can’t carry on now.

She hears him deliver her message before his voice sinks low again for her, his audience of one.

“Can you come to New York?” he asks. It has the ring of a riddle with all the times he’s posed the question to her before.

“Fuck that,” Beth says, grinning. “I’ll see you in Kentucky the day after tomorrow.”

#my writing #The Queen's Gambit #Beth Harmon #Benny Watts #beth x benny

[my-one-true-l]

Wammy's boys being comforted by their s/o after a nightmare (microfics or hcs - whichever you prefer). Please take care and don't overwork yourself ❤

Oh, Dear Anon, I love this. Thank you… 🖤

L

Crimson runs in streams across the floor towards me. It’s pouring from her abdomen.

Bloody words are coughed from her mouth.

“Run.”

But I’m not fast enough.

“Fight.”

But I’m too small.

There were no more instructions for me.

…She would never give me an instruction again…

A large unfamiliar hand grabs me by the collar.

I close my eyes.Tightly.

“Please don’t hurt me…”

With a hard gasp, L startled awake. His chair swiveled beneath him as he looked about HQ, desperately trying to find his bearings.

“Again?” They said to him with empathy as they put what they were reading on the end table.

His eyes land on them and he nods.

They held outstretched arms towards him. He got up and crawled over the arm of the couch and across the cushions, then sprawled himself on top of them before tucking his legs up against his chest. They wrap their arms around the ball of a detective that had just buried his face into their neck.

“I should have woken you. You so rarely get sleep and you’re so quiet sometimes when you have a nightmare. I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.” They kissed the top of his head, nuzzling their face into his soft black mane.

“It’s not your responsibility to know when I’m having a nightmare.” The muffled words absorbed into their neck. “You never fail me when I need you afterwards.”

“Was it…”

“Yes.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not now, please. I just want to be here in the moment with you until it fades.”

Near

L stands before me with his hands shoved into his pockets, staring me down with heavily shadowed eyes.

He slowly fades from existence.  

Matt steps up to take his place. His goggles are fogged over and I can’t see if he is looking at me.  

He slowly fades from existence.  

Mello is now where Matt had been. There is no mistaking that he is, in fact, glaring at me.

He slowly fades from existence.  

Roger?

No answer.

Rester?No answer.

Gevanni?

No answer.

An invisible crushing weight pushes me to the floor. I take solace in my usual thinking crouch, trying to brunt all of it on my back.

…Just as it flattens me.

Near opens his eyes and is greeted with the familiar glow from the wall of screens that line his HQ. He let a heavy sigh escape his lungs. He hates when he falls asleep in HQ. That’s when the dreams visit him. He stands up and stretches his arms over his head in a v shape before straightening his pj top so the buttons were facing forward again. He heads down the corridor to their room, dragging his feet the whole way.

He carefully opens the door and stood at the foot of the bed. It was only moments before his Love opens their eyes to see Near staring at them while they sleep.

“Uh, oh. You alright?” They ask, used to him behaving this way when his sleep was disturbed.

“Yes. Dreams cannot cause you harm.”

They lift the side of the blanket. “Come on. Get in.”

Near didn’t hesitate to curl up next to them. They tucked the blanket close around him in an attempt to make him feel secure.

“It’s going to be ok. I promise.”

“I know.” He twirled his finger in his hair unusually hard before asking, “Can we get Bunsy and read the next story in ‘What Men Live By and Other Tales’?”

They smiled kindly at him and grabbed the stuffed rabbit and the Tolstoy from the nightstand.

“Here you go.” They handed him Bunsy and he cuddled it close to his chest as they open to where they left off, “In the town of Surat, in India, was a coffee-house where many travellers and foreigners from all parts of the world met and conversed.”

Near closed his eyes and drifted to the sound of their voice, soothed in the thought that he didn’t have to bear the weight of being L completely alone after all.

Mello

It’s foggy.

No.

It’s smoky.

I can’t see what’s around me. I can’t see a way out.

Is there a way out?

It’s hot. Very hot. The flames touch me.

I can’t feel them.

They’re too hot.

I’m outside. I don’t remember how I got here.

How did I get here?

My skin feels wrong.

No.

I can’t feel my skin at all.

It’s raining. I’m wet.

No.

I’m…

Mello awoke with a gasp. His body was drenched in a sweat that only panic can bring on. He ran his hand through his hair, removing the dampened strands that clung to his face.

The sheets were soaked. He was soaked. He rubbed his face and groaned as he peeled himself off the mattress.

“Melly, you ok, Honey?” They turned over to look at him.

“Yeah. Freaking dreams again, but I’m fine.” He was sorry he woke them. He didn’t like looking weak and having nightmares was something little kids suffer from.

“You want to talk to me?”

“Nope. I’m gonna shower, though. I feel nasty.”

Knowing Mello as well as they do, they knew not to push it, but there were other ways to care for him after an episode like this. They got up and listened for the water to start running.  Quickly, they stripped the mattress and put fresh sheets on. No one wanted to get back into a sweat-dampened bed. Aside from it being uncomfortable, it would just remind Mello of his dreams.

They went to the kitchen and got him a glass of water for his nightstand. He was going to be thirsty when he calmed down. They opened the top drawer of their dresser and grabbed a king-size chocolate bar and put it with the water. Then they quietly got back into bed as though they had been there the whole time.

Mello knew better.  He slinked up next to them and spooned them, making him feel like the protector, even though it was really making him feel safe.

“Thank you.” Was all he said.

“Anytime, Melly.  Anytime.”

Matt

Everything is bigger than me.

Everything.

She isn’t moving.

Why isn’t she moving?

A cigarette burns in the ashtray.

Suddenly I’m driving. No one can catch me. I’m no longer small.

I look in my rearview. No one is chasing me. I look forward.

Mello.

I slam on the breaks, but I can’t stop.

He bounces up onto the hood. His rigid body cracks the windshield.

Blood. Everywhere.

I get out.

“I always knew you’d end me one day.” The bloody figure that use to be Mello taunts me.

“And I always knew I’d let you down.”

Matt wakes silently. He carefully sits up and dangles his legs over the side of the bed, leaning his elbows on his knees as he buries his face into his hands.

He feels a soft hand on each shoulder. “It’s ok. Whatever it is, it’s ok.”

“I was quiet. How do you always know?”

“Just do.” They lean forward and kiss the back of his neck. “Your mother or Mello?”

“Both.”

“That sucks. Do you want to talk about it?”

Matt turns and sits up in bed, knees bent towards his chest with his arms hugging his knees. “Yeah, I would.”

They sit next to him and wrap a blanket around the both of them.

“So tell me all about it.”

“I could see her plain as day, like she was sitting right in front of me…”

Beyond Birthday

3, 2, 1……

She’s gone.

Lonliness…white walls and hardwood, happy kids everywhere, happier than me anyway.

L.

No one wants B…Backup to L…They all want L. They all wish I was L.  

The mirror doesn’t look like me. Sleep-deprived eyes and messy dark hair speak from the reflection. “Even you prefer me to yourself.” My fist shatters the glass making a thousand shards, each piece containing  L…

“FUCK!” Beyond sat up violently in their bed, sweat running down his forehead. He violently thrashes at the sheets that tangled themselves around him, restraining him from escaping the thoughts that torment him.

“It’s ok, I got you.” They sit up and rub gentle circles between his shoulder blades. “I’ve always got you.” They wipe the sweat from his forehead then caress the side of his face.

“I need to pace. I need to outrun it.” Beyond stands up and puts a t-shirt on as he heads out of their bedroom.

His Love grabs a sweater and puts it on over their pajamas before following him. “Come on. Let’s go for a walk. You choose where.”

“What are you doing?” He looks at them with confusion.

“You think I’m going to leave you alone? You’re wrong.” They slip their hand into his and together they roam the dark city streets at 4am until he feels better.

🖤 🖤 🖤 This has been one of my favorites 🖤 🖤 🖤 

#L Lawliet #Nate River #Mihael Keehl #Mail Jeevas #Beyond Birthday #death note headcanons #Death Note #DN #Microfics #Ask #Answered #Anonymous #Near #Mello #Matt #BB #L

[anoldwound]

Friends Like Enemies - Alternate Chapter 28

Chapter 28 Soon after, Alex and Rachel left ("My mom said I have to be home by five, and we want to stop at McDonald's first," Alex explained), leaving Jason and Mitch alone in a tense silence. "I can't believe you screwed me over like that," said Jason quietly. "You lousy son of a bitch." "You're drunk," Mitch muttered. "You don't know what you're saying..." "I know EXACTLY what I'm saying!" Jason shouted, standing up and glaring down at Mitch. "I'm sayin' you're a dirty rotten bastard! Goin' behind my back and getting fucking Alex and Rachel together! Using MY dating tipses! MY dating tipses! You--sitting there--you--" "Very nice speech, Jason," said Mitch coolly. "Too bad you were slurring the entire time. Ruins the effect, you know..." "Don't act like you're, you're BETTER than me or something, okay!" Jason yelled wildly. "I'm not the one who goes around getting my friendses crushes and shit with other guys while bashing other ones for doing the same thing to me!" "You don't even know what happened!" Mitch protested, standing up also. "Alex asked me to fix him up months ago, months before you even said anything, it was too late by the time you told me!" "But you gave him dating tipses!" Jason pointed an accusing finger at Mitch. "You useded my own weaspones against me, you'd known by then, you shoulda STOPPED!" Mitch couldn't think of a reply to this, so he remained silent. "Ha! Can't think of a dum res-rep-ree-thingy to that, can you?" Jason cried triumphantly. "You piece of carp! Stupid midget who can't get a girl to save his fucking asshole life! And your girl and Matt, Matt screwed you over, too, karma came to bite you in the ass--" These words seemed to have awoken a new rage in Mitch. Before he could stop himself, he'd shouted, "WELL, SO WHAT?! You got turned down! Big fucking deal! It's been a month, Jason, get over it, you don't even like her that much! And don't look at me like that, I know you don't! You're just bitter and jealous because Alex has got something you don't got! YOU'RE PATHETIC! Flirting with her all the time, when Alex is right there, it's disgusting! WHY DON'T YOU GET A FUCKING LIFE AND STOP BLAMING OTHER PEOPLE FOR YOUR STUPID FUCKING INSECURITIES!" Jason tried to interrupt him, but Mitch kept going; he was on a roll now, he couldn't stop. "You act all big and mighty and date millions of girls but we all know you're not as confident as you look, you're not fooling anyone! GET A FUCKING CLUE, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" And with that, Mitch began to storm out, but as he reached for the doorknob, he stopped as Jason shouted, "Bastard! You fucking bastard! You think we're still friends?! WELL, WE'RE NOT! I'M NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN! Matt was right! You're a douchebag! You can go to hell!" Mitch didn't respond, and walked out, slamming the door behind him. Chapter 28 ...what COULD’VE happened. Soon after, Alex and Rachel left ("My mom said I have to be home by five, and we want to stop at McDonald's first," Alex explained), leaving Jason and Mitch alone in a tense silence. “I suppose you’re going to yell at me now,” said Mitch in a tight voice. Jason blinked hard and turned to him. “Yell? Now, why should I yell?” Mitch was confused. “Huh?” Jason stood up and began pacing, stumbling quite a bit as he did so. “Y’know, I’ve been thinkin’ Mitch. I’m drunk every time I think about it, but I still think about it sometimes. These, these’re strange thoughts, Mitch, they’re really strangeness.” “Get to the point,” said Mitch, feeling slightly irritated. Why did Jason seem so nervous? “The thoughts,” Jason continued, tripping over the leg of the coffee table, “—whoops! Ha ha...anyways, these thoughts, they are about you.” “And what exactly are you thinking?” asked Mitch slowly. “Very bad thoughts.” “What? Like, choking me or something?” “No! Like...I dunno. Forget it.” “No, tell me,” said Mitch, exasperated. He hated it when people got into long harangues about things and then never tell you what they were talking about. “Well, you know! Like...like...kissing you and stuff.” Mitch almost fell out of his seat in shock. “W-what?” “Yeah,” said Jason, sitting on the coffee table somewhat unsteadily. “And today I figured I ought to tell you, b’cause when I found out you had something t’do with Rachel and Alex I just didn’t care, an’ all I could think about was your eyes, an’ your hair, and—” “You’re drunk,” said Mitch frightfully. “You don’t know what you’re saying...” “I know exactly what I’m saying,” said Jason seductively, in the same voice Mitch imagined he often used on girls he liked....or did he even like girls? Mitch was very, very confused. And awfully sweaty. Jason crawled in front of Mitch, and leaned his face so close to Mitch that he could smell the alcohol on Jason’s breath. Mitch wanted to push him away, but couldn’t move his arms. Jason’s hand grazed Mitch’s cheek. “I’ve wanted t’do this for a while,” he whispered, and laid a gentle kiss upon Mitch’s lips. A thousand thoughts exploded into Mitch’s head at once, so many that he didn’t even know what any of them were, except: RUN AWAY. RUN AWAY RIGHT NOW. Mitch pushed Jason off of him and quickly ran to the other side of the room. “Now, listen!” he shouted, pointing at Jason, who was standing up again. “You are totally wasted, man. It is unlikely you’re going to remember this tomorrow. So, I’m gonna leave, and I’m not gonna say anything and you can keep on living your life, and we’ll pretend this never happened, all right?” Mitch was breathing heavily, and his head was swimming; he could not believe that Jason had just stolen his first kiss like that; his first kiss was supposed to be from a girl, not a guy, and especially not Jason, of all people. “I may be wasted,” said Jason, walking over to him. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not thinkin’ clearly.” “Really? Isn’t that exactly what it means?” asked Mitch in a high-pitched voice as Jason drew closer and closer. “I think aboutchoo every time I get drunk!” Jason shouted. “You’re the reason I get drunk all the time, dammit! Why can’t you understand?!” And with that, Jason pulled Mitch toward him and gave a much harder kiss this time, full of lust and passion and fury and...tongue. Lots of tongue. Mitch felt himself freeze; he could not move, and some part of his brain did not want him to move, except to move his tongue into Jason’s mouth. I’m just freaked because this is one of my first kisses, Mitch assured himself as Jason’s deadlock grip on him made Mitch unable to wrench himself free. I’ll wait ‘til he’s done, and I’ll go home. It seemed, however, that Jason was not going to be done anytime soon. Jason pulled Mitch in tighter, and started running his fingers through his hair. Mitch felt slightly faint at this point, as Jason’s hand traveled down and started stroking his neck gently. Mitch had to grab onto something, and he chose Jason. Jason seemed to find this incredibly stimulating, and tore his lips away from Mitch’s mouth and started to nibble and kiss Mitch’s ear. Mitch felt himself moan with pleasure, then blush immediately afterward. What was he doing? “I knew you wanted this as much as I did,” Jason whispered in his ear, and Mitch shuddered. Jason stopped nibbling on his ear, and they just stood there for a while, hugging each other, when Mitch suddenly blurted out, “I’ve gotta go!” He let go of Jason and started running for the door when Jason called after him: “I’ll see you tomorrow!” Mitch didn’t reply and slammed the door behind him. Mitch avoided Jason on the walk to school and he didn’t make eye contact during History, although he felt Jason staring at him almost the entire period. Finally, during lunch, Jason approached the table. Mitch, Alex, and Rachel were sitting there already. “Can I talk to you?” Jason mumbled to Mitch. Mitch pretended he didn’t hear him and took a bite of his sandwich. “What’d you say, Alex?” “I was talking about how—” “I need to talk to you NOW,” said Jason through gritted teeth. Mitch slammed his sandwich on the table. “Fine! What do you want to talk about, Jason! Go on! Say it!” “You know perfectly well what I want to talk about,” said Jason bitingly. “And you also know that I need to talk to you alone.” Mitch quivered under Jason’s livid stare, said “Fine,” and left the table to the bewildered stares of Alex and Rachel. Jason and Mitch went to a small lunch table on the far side of the cafeteria, which was normally inhabited by some rebel guy with a leather jacket, but he was not there today. It was far enough away from everyone else so they knew they wouldn’t be overheard. “I want to talk about what happened yesterday,” said Jason as they sat down. “I didn’t even think you’d remember it.” “Well, I wouldn’t have, except I wrote about it right after you left.” “Oh. Well, I wasn’t the one who—” “I know you didn’t start it,” Jason interrupted. “It was me who started it. And I’d like to tell you that it wasn’t true, what I was saying, but...I can’t lie. It is true. I know it’s really awkward for you to hear this, but...” Jason sighed and looked out the window. “God! What is wrong with me? I can’t be gay! I’ve loved girls my whole life, practically! And then we hit middle school, and all of a sudden—” Jason broke off and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I’ll understand if you don’t want to speak to me again...” “Don’t apologize,” Mitch muttered. “It’s not your fault. You were drunk, and...well...you can’t help the way you are, I guess...” Jason smiled weakly. “Thanks.” “But, you know,” said Mitch, very, very quietly, “if it makes you feel any better...you are a really good kisser.” Jason started laughing. “Yeah, because you have a point of reference!” Mitch laughed too. “But, seriously. I wouldn’t be opposed to it happening again. I mean,” he added hastily, “I’m not asking you to, but, you know. If you happen to get drunk, and it happens again...uh...I mean...oh, forget it.” Jason gave him a quizzical look. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” “I don’t know. What do you think I’m saying?” Jason stared at him long and hard, then shook his head. “I guess you just mean you wouldn’t kill me if I got drunk and did it again.” He sighed and stood up. “Well, thanks for understanding.” And with that, he abruptly left the cafeteria. Mitch watched him go, feeling a strange mixture of melancholy and loneliness when he did. When Mitch got home several hours later, he was relieved to find that no one was home. Sighing, he flopped his backpack on the floor and laid down on the couch. He needed to be alone with his thoughts. Jason. Jason, Jason, Jason. Ever since yesterday Jason was all Mitch could think about. He couldn’t stop thinking about that first, gentle, shy kiss, and the later, more urgent and passionate one, the one that had secretly gripped his insides and made him tingle with attraction from head to toe. He thought about Jason’s bright green, alluring eyes, and his tiny smirk, and the way he had looked at Mitch right before he had kissed him. It made his head throb and his heart pound and his stomach do flip-flops. Mitch groaned and flipped himself over. Why was he thinking this stuff? He didn’t like guys. He didn’t think there was anything wrong with being gay, but...he wasn’t. How could he be gay when he still had such a huge crush on Vanessa? Maybe I’m bi or something, Mitch thought, but that, too, was too weird to comprehend. Once again, nothing wrong with being a bisexual, he just wasn’t one. But how could I NOT be? Mitch thought, rolling over again. How could I be feeling all this stuff toward Jason if I wasn’t bi? How come I am so damn attracted to him if I’m not, at least a little? If I wasn’t bi I would’ve been disgusted by that kiss, and the way he held me, and the way he had looked at me. But I liked it. I liked it a lot. Suddenly, Mitch knew what he had to do. He got up and ran into the kitchen and grabbed the cordless phone next to the fridge. He dialed a number. “Hello?” the person on the other end of the phone said. “Hi. It’s me,” said Mitch, biting his lip. “Can I come over?” “What? Why?” “I...I just want to come over.” Silence. “Sure.” “Okay. I’ll be there in five minutes.” Mitch hung up the phone, grabbed his coat, and started running down the street. Mitch rang the doorbell. Jason answered, looking very confused and curious. “Mitch, why did you want to come over?” Jason asked as Mitch closed the door behind him. “Is anyone home?” Mitch asked, ignoring the question. “No...” “Will they be here anytime soon?” “Not until seven...Mitch, what’s going on?” Mitch didn’t reply, and instead brought Jason’s head to his and kissed him firmly on the mouth. He let go, and Jason stumbled back a bit. He stood there, staring at Mitch in disbelief, for quite some time, until Mitch started wondering whether this was such a good idea and was ready to leave, but Jason launched himself at him and pinned him against the wall, smirking. “I knew it,” he said, and started kissing him back, slowly and gently, thrusting his tongue inside Mitch’s mouth, and Mitch did likewise. Jason moaned and grabbed Mitch by the shoulders and flung him onto the couch. Jason landed on top of Mitch and they continued to make out for a while. Mitch felt his lower parts jump to attention at one particularly passionate moment, and Jason stroked his hand against it to make sure it stayed there. It was almost too much for Mitch to take. He started un-zipping his pants. Jason suddenly stopped kissing him and looked down on Mitch. “Are you sure?” Mitch nodded fervently. Jason took a deep breath. “I’ve never done this before...” he muttered, but slipped Mitch’s pants off. Mitch shivered with anticipation as Jason took off Mitch’s boxers. Jason slowly started to stroke Mitch’s lower part again, then leaned his head down and started to softly kiss it. It was 6:45. Mitch and Jason laid down on the floor in front of the couch, both of them in nothing but their birthday suits, staring at the ceiling. “Well,” said Jason, breaking the fifteen minute silence. “That was interesting.” “Yeah,” Mitch agreed. “It was.” Jason rolled to his side and looked at Mitch. “I guess you better leave now.” “Yeah.” Mitch stood up and grabbed his clothes. “I’ll go change in the bathroom, in case someone...” “Yeah,” said Jason, and Mitch hurried into the first floor bathroom. Mitch put on his boxers and shirt, but before he put on his pants, he stared at himself in the mirror. He didn’t look any different. A little tired, maybe, but his face still looked the same, although there seemed to be a new spark in his eye. He and Jason hadn’t done the ultimate form of gay sex, but they had certainly gotten close, and that had scared Mitch. He was too young to be having sex. He was only thirteen, for Christ’s sake. Being bisexual was one thing. But Mitch did not want to lose his virginity yet. He supposed most guys would think him crazy for just thinking that, but he also realized most guys would think him crazy that he had just spent several hours kissing and doing various other misdeeds with a guy. Mitch splashed some water on his face, put on his pants, socks, and shoes, and left the bathroom. Jason was already dressed when Mitch returned to the living room. Jason smiled at him and stood up. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” Jason said. “Yeah,” said Mitch. “See you.” Jason hesitated, then kissed him on the mouth. “I...um, yeah. Bye.” “Bye.” And with that, Mitch left.

#original work