#and i think it might have hurt grell's feelings that madam red was still holding on to what was never going to be when for grell they... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

animeyanderelover · 3 years

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Could I request shigaraki,overhaul,madam red,and momo as parents and taking care of their baby with their darling?

❤️‍🔥💖.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, paranoia, manipulation, isolation, threatening, killing

Parents

Madam Red/Angelina Durless

🩺Angelina literally killed other women because they wanted to get rid of what she had lost and she resented them for this. So being able to either adopt a baby with her darling or pay money for a test-tube baby with her darling doesn't really matter to her, she'll go with whatever her darling wants. Madam Red just really wants a child the moment she is happily in love with her darling, hoping for a real chance to start a happy family. She won't hesitate to spend a lot of money during pregnancy, if it is a test-tube baby, either, getting her darling everything she wants whilst also busily checking on them as often as possible.

🩺If it comes to the gender of the baby, it'll be a girl and she names the little one after her dead sister Rachel, to honor her because she loved her sister a lot and her death was a huge shock and a shattering experience. Especially after having lost only shortly before her husband and unborn baby. Whilst Angelina is a very sweet and attentive mum to have, she also is a bit more on the desperate side. The woman loves her little baby a lot and she really just craves a happy family with her baby and her darling. So she somewhat seeks for love and approval from the baby and next to that is needy for her little daughter's affection and love which is why she gets her everything she could want and doesn't, everything Angelina thinks would make her daughter happy and love her more. Madam Red is also somewhat of a helicopter parent, mainly because she is scared something might happen to her baby just as much as she is afraid something might happen to her darling. She keeps both of them in her view which makes her a bit controlling, though she totally plays it down when someone points it out to her.

🩺Is a bit iffy to let Grell near her baby since Grell most likely wants to meet the little baby as well, totally gushing the moment she sees the chubby baby for the first time and instantly wants to hold her which Madam Red prevents. But on the other hand she also counts on the fact that the grim reaper will help her getting rid of possible threats for the darling and for the baby because Grell grows quickly defensive and protective over the toddler as well and Madam Red uses this as an advantage. She also takes always care of her daughter, no matter what so if her baby is sick, she drops everything and nurses her back to health. She's probably a tad bit too protective because she is that kind of parent that loses it if their baby has a small scratch on them and act like they just lost a limb. In general a bit more warily about letting the baby too often out, she doesn't like other people being all curious about her small one and she becomes passive-aggressive when someone gets too close. As mentioned, she's a mother wanting her daughter's attention.

🩺There are only few people she feels somewhat comfortable with so these are automatically the people she feels safe enough with to let them meet her baby and darling. Ciel is one of those people because he is the older cousin of the baby. He's still kind of awkward around the small child, though he tries his best to be as nice as possible to his little cousin because he knows how important she is for his aunt. Angelina also can not stand it if her daughter cry. She knows that she is still a small baby and cries a lot due to that, but it just genuinely hurts her when she cries. She somewhat panics and tries literally everything to make her baby feel better. Extremely smothering with her daughter, no matter age. It also becomes her tradition to sing to her baby every night or to read her a story and she continues doing this over all the years.

Momo Yaoyorozu

💳Momo is also that kind of woman who would want a baby with her darling at one point as well because the thought of taking care of a baby together with her darling is just unbelievably cute to her. She as well is fine with either adopting a baby or having a test-tube baby, she knows she'll love them in either case. And that girl is rich and wastes no money during pregnancy, if it is a test-tube baby, buying not only her darling everything they might want, but she also prepares a large room for the baby and buys all sort of stuff for the little one. She's just extremely zealous and can start rambling about how she can't wait to meet the little one.

💳Personally see Momo ending up with twins, a boy and a girl. And you best bet that the moment she found that out, she was beyond excited for the rest of the day and also pregnancy. She just loves the thought of having two babies from each gender and she had a really hard time choosing names for each of them, she had a long list of possible names for a boy and a girl and her darling had to help her with it. Momo mostly named her babies after she had seen them for the first time and saying she was bursting with happiness would be an understatement. As long as the babies are still small, Momo wants them to sleep in a really expensive and large crib next to her and her darling's bed so she can instantly comfort and care for them the moment they start crying because of something. Momo also can't help, but buy cute little and matching outfits for her children since they're twins, she's fashionate and so she of course chooses clothes that look good, but she still can overdo it from time to time because she never stops being happy that she is a mother.

💳But she still prefers it making the stuff she wants to get from her children herself, at the very least on special days like birthdays she creates something she thinks her children might want herself since it gives everything more meaning. Momo just totally loves spoiling her children just as much as she loves spoiling her darling because for what does she have money? Different from Madam Red she is not desperate with those attempts, she just loves doing so and seeing her children be happy and showering her in gratitude and love afterwards. Having her two twins giving her affection and telling her she's the best mum is without kidding the best thing in her day, together with being lovey dopey with her darling of course. Momo wants to do a lot of things together as a family and so picnics with self-made and favorite food of her darling and her twins, shopping tours where she gets all three of you whatever you want, and holidays in foreign countries are done a lot and she has a lot of pictures from such events which she keeps in albums.

💳Of course she cherishes every moment she gets to have with her family and her twins, she totally likes cuddling with her whole family in the soft and huge bed her and her darling sleep in, cozy morning cuddles as a family are the best. Momo is another parent who is pretty smothering to have, she has a thing for lifting both twins up in her arms and kissing their little cheeks. She won't stop her children from wanting to become heroes if they want to be and if they take their mother as their role model, she would actually be pretty proud, but she is still kind of worried. At the very least they won't have to worry over education because even if the darling should be clueless in certain school subjects, mummy Momo is always there to help when a certain crisis appears. Not gonna lie, she totally loves it if her darling and her daughter and son tell her she's the best, it makes her so happy and proud.

Tomura Shigaraki

✋Shigaraki is kind of unsure about having children because he as the leader of the villains and a guy who himself was never really familiar with the term of a lovingly and happy family. He doesn't know if he would be a good father to start with, though he would be nothing like his father. But if he gets his darling pregnant, he will have to think about something and the whole situation stresses him somehow which is why Kurogiri will have to help him planning, scheduling and organizing everything so his darling will get the pregnancy they need during the coming months and he is also the one who advices Shigaraki a lot with everything.

✋Tomura might be kind of clueless at the beginning, but regarding his son there are a few things very clear from the start for him. The first thing would be that the knife chick and the bad boy won't be let anywhere near his little boy, Kurogiri is allowed since Shigaraki trusts him to some extent. The second thing is that anyone who tries to do as much as lay a finger on his child's hair will be turned to the smallest pieces of dust by him. And the third one is that he wants to keep his son safe from any harm and actually wants him to stay more out of the business his father does. These are some conditions Shigaraki decides to do and he never breaks them either, he will never be like his father was to him. He is a bit clumsy with names, but he still suggested some which he thought would be nice and he would be joyful if his darling would decide to give the baby one of the names he wanted the baby to be called. At the beginning Shigaraki is afraid that he might hurt his baby, especially since he possesses this dangerous quirk, he kind of likes it more to just watch his son whilst his darling holds him.

✋But he can only fight his wish to hold his son in his arms that long and at one point he asks his darling hesitantly if he can hold the baby as well. His darling will have to still stay with him to show him how to hold his baby and additionally Shigaraki wants them to stay just in case since he's afraid he might mess something up. When he holds his baby for the first time in his arms he just stares at him kind of in awe, he never had that much contact with someone except with his darling. In general Shigaraki still remains a bit more insecure about what to do and he often has to ask his darling for advice as well as Kurogiri who is sometimes the baby sitter, the only person allowed near his little boy. Tomura still tries his best, he really wants to be a good father and even if he doesn't know how to properly comfort a baby during night or how to change diapers, he still gives everything a shot. But if he is getting overwhelmed with something, he always seeks for the advice of his s/o, kind of sad he couldn't do it alone. This is why his darling should teach him everything because Tomura can learn.

✋Funnily Tomura still possesses the ability to be somewhat jealous of the baby, though not in a negative sense. He is just very needy for the attention of his s/o as well just like their little child is. And whilst Shigaraki still loves the baby dearly, if he starts feeling a bit more neglected, he grows more clingy as well, though he uses the chances to neither let go of his son nor of his darling. But he is also kind of afraid what might happen if his son happens to inherit his quirk which is something Shigaraki prays won't happen since it would affect the childhood of the boy a lot. He would later on most likely be very much into playing games with his son and despite difficult circumstances, he tries to spend as much time with the boy as possible. Tomura hates it pretty much to be away from his small family for too long which is why he always hurries to go back to his darling and their little son.

Overhaul/Kai Chisaki

🦠Having children with him wouldn't really happen unless Chisaki gets his darling by accident pregnant because he doesn't desire a family, he's too focused on keeping his s/o safe from any harm and to keep them from this rotten and tainted world. But he has to become interested with the topic of being a father at the very latest when his darling refuses an abortion and keeps his baby which might be surprising even for him since he thinks he won't be a good father and expected his darling to feel the same. He told them after all how he treats Eri. Kai still manages to warm up a lot to the children during pregnancy and started obsessively checking on the health of his darling.

🦠Finding out that he would have twins was a small shock for him, though he was also majorly flustered by the thought and he just wanted to spend more time with his darling afterwards and tried to talk to them about possible names, future, education and all of this. Overhaul might surprise his darling because he is more thoughtful than expected and he actually kind of starts overthinking it at one point, though he still manages to keep his cool. Similar to Shigaraki he is being awkward at the beginning with his children, mainly because besides his father and his darling he never really managed to make any sorts of emotional bonds and remembering on how he treated Eri, he truly doesn't know what to do and it is almost amusing to see someone like him being utterly unknowingly. But he doesn't really asks for help because he knows how to take care of a baby, he informed himself about it, it's only that he is always so tensed up when holding his children in his arms and he needs sometime to loosen up and get over this part of him. He is also not the best in comforting his sons and at the very least this is something you will have to guide and assist him through.

🦠Kai makes from a very early age on sure that he removes any possible quirks his babies might have, though at the very least he makes sure to make it as painless as possible for them. Chisaki actually doesn't try to tell his sons that what he does is the right thing to do and that they have to believe in this as well, he knows that he does cruel and horrible things and for that doesn't try to excuse it. With that being said of course he also makes sure that his sons don't go outside without him having it allowed and just as much doesn't want either of them giving him the 'I want to be a hero' kind of crap because he won't allow it and will prevent them from doing so. He isolates his children just as much as his darling since he doesn't want them to get outside and have to breathe the same filthy air as other people and doesn't even want others to be anywhere near his family. Kai is pretty much the only person allowed with his s/o and his children and if someone gets too curious they won't have to feel surprised when he just kills them, of course not in presence of his darling and their babies.

🦠The babies are always up with the newest sort of vaccinations and whilst Kai doesn't let them attend a school at all and doesn't allow friends either, at the very, very least he educates and teaches both of them well once they become older. It isn't like Kai doesn't know that he will make his children feel lonely since he won't let anyone else except his darling near them, but he just wants his kids safe in the best way he knows off. And whilst he might be emotionally a bit more helpless at first, he gets somewhat the hang of it over time, though he is still a bit questionable, but everyone also knows that if something were to happen to one of his boys, he'll go lunatic. He is somewhat using spoiling as a way to make his boys happy with him again since they might be pretty often mad with the way their father isolates them. In a way he is also similar to Madam Red in the sense that as soon as one of is sons does as much as coughing, he is already checking if they're sick and if they are, he banishes them to stay in bed until he has nursed them back to health.

#yandere black butler #yandere kuroshitsuji #yandere madam red #yandere angelina #yandere angelina durless #yandere my hero academia #yandere mha #yandere boku no hero academia #yandere bnha #yandere momo #yandere momo yaoyorozu #yandere shigaraki #yandere tomura shigaraki #yandere overhaul #yandere chisaki #yandere kai chisaki

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undertaker1827 · 4 years

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Hey all!! This is a part two of the story I wrote where Grell’s s/o (Ciel’s mother figure) dies, which was requested in the comments of the original fic. If you haven’t read the first one, please do that as this makes no sense by itself. Also, I’ve reverted back to female pronouns for Grell in this one aaand guess which mortician rocks up 😁 Can be seen as Grell x Undertaker (I do like that one myself) but that’s not actually the idea. And finally (I swear I’ll shut up in a minute) the method used to stop a panic attack is a genuine one, it works very well.

❗️Warnings; heavy angst all the way through, death, blood, a panic attack, spoilers for chapters 140, 141 and 149.

Masterlist

Grell swallowed hard as she turned away from William, striding out into the corridor as fast as possible. Only a few reapers gave her a second glance, but she didn’t run into anyone she knew personally, so for that she was grateful. She left through reception and made her way back to her apartment, swapping the coat she usually wore for a red trench. It was slightly too big for her, so she wound it around herself like a cocoon, tying the fabric belt in a big loop then leaving once more.

The crimson reaper - ex reaper now? She wasn’t really sure - started walking around London. She had no aim or purpose, just needing to not sit still. Her hands were curled into fists and stuffed deep in the pockets of the coat, breath hanging in pockets in the frigid air behind her, street lamps only doing so much to push back the darkness of fallen night. Grell wasn’t watching where she was going, head low and eyes sore. The tears had stopped, but she knew how little it would take for them to start again, even though she had already cried so much. She felt an awful hollowness, left both by your parting and from the exhaustion that comes from truly crying your heart out.

So lost was she in her thoughts that she walked straight into something - someone - and tripped over a cobblestone. She managed to rip her hands out of her pockets to break her fall about halfway down, only she never met the floor. A pair of strong arms wrapped around her, one around her shoulders and the other at her waist then hauled her upright and into a firm chest. The other person held her still for a moment, as if ensuring she was now steady on her feet, before pulling back a bit to see her face. A bout of maniacal laughter quickly drew her attention once more to be met with silver bangs rather than eyes and a mortician’s black robes.

“Well, if it isn’t the reaper who was playing Madam Red’s butler! We meet again...” He trailed off into a giggle and stepped back, taking in everything Grell’s features and body language were telling him.

“Undertaker..?” She murmured, suddenly at a loss for what to do. She should be utterly repelled by him, right? What he did back on the ship was unforgivable for a reaper, and he certainly was one even if he did quit dispatch. In fact, now she had too, didn’t that make them kind of the same? She didn’t know, too tired to work it out. A nail tapping against her forehead made her blink rapidly and focused her gaze once again on the grey hair.

“You don’t look all that grand now though, do you? What’s happened to you, I wonder..”

Those few words were enough to send Grell’s mind careening back to the warehouse, the To-Die list, your crumpled body and your blood staining the concrete crimson. The blood pounding in her own ears and the sound of that wretched death scythe dragging on the rough floor, the look on William’s face.

You monster. You knew what they meant to me when you gave me that list.

A fresh wave of nausea took over the reaper’s body and she screamed in agony, tears streaming from her eyes and breathing heavy and erratic, yet still she clutched at her chest, unable to breath, unable to think -

The mortician saw the warning signs, thought process calmly identifying panic attack, the supplying him with chamomile, lemon. They had crossed paths right outside the parlour anyway, so by the timeUndertaker had half dragged, half carried the other reaper inside he doubted she even realised they had moved. He snapped her out of it by shoving a lemon in her mouth, engaging the automatic reflex of biting down and the resulting horrible taste preventing her brain from continuing to panic.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” She yelled, launching herself at the older reaper only to stop halfway through. “How did you do that?” Undertaker just grinned and brandished the lemon at her.

“Forces your brain to focus.” Grell gave a non-commital hum but said nothing further, eyes becoming slightly glazed in thought. Undertaker was no fool; he knew what that type of crying meant. She’d lost someone incredibly important to her, which was a feeling he knew only too well. It was fatal for a reaper to involve themselves with humans. Since she was here anyway, the mortician made some chamomile tea and offered her a cup, surprised to find she accepted it. She must have been too exhausted to retaliate.

The pair sat for a while in silence, though Undertaker did eventually ask what Grell was doing in London. He did so idly, as if asking about the weather so as not to pressure her.

“I quit.” That certainly drew the older reaper’s attention, the small movement of his head so sharp that his bangs shifted enough the reveal part of a glowing chartreuse eye. It was enough to set an alarm bell in Grell’s head, something Othello had said about her not being able to win against him one on one.

“Quit what?”

“Dispatch. I deserted, just like you.” She gave a small, humourless scoff. “Suppose I know now how you felt.” The mortician let out a silent breath, his own mind straining and wanting to wander.

“Being seduced by the lives of humans is always a mistake for one of us,” he murmured softly, the feeling of dusky blue hair under his fingertips and a gentle, loving voice in his ear suddenly far too real.

“They-” Grell’s voice caught, “they wanted me to… to reap-” She gave a single, suppressed sob, rubbing the heels of her hands into her eyes and trying to take calming breaths. “I couldn’t do it. Wouldn’t do it. But Will knew. He knew and he did nothing!” She rested her elbows on her knees and dropped her head into her arms, sighing once more. She barely registered the sound of movement as the other reaper sat down next to her on the coffin, though she couldn’t help but tense and turn her head when she felt his arms around her once more.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he muttered, voice dropping to the softer one she remembered from the Campania. Too tired to care if she was making a mistake or not, Grell allowed herself to be slowly pulled into a tighter hug, wrapping her arms around the mortician in return. Neither spoke for a long while, though she had allowed her eyes to close when she felt his chin come to rest on top of her head. “Was there a reason you came to me?” He asked at last, voice quiet in the predawn stillness.

“It wasn’t intentional,” the other reaper whispered back, “I was just blindly walking. Coincidence, maybe.”

“Maybe,” he hummed back, “though I have a proposition for you. What would you do if I told you there might be a way to bring them back?” Grell moved so quickly Undertaker found even he couldn’t easily follow it. Her head knocked back into his jaw and he huffed in annoyance, though said nothing of it when he saw her face. Pure, unadulterated desperation was ingrained into her every feature, though the look turned gloriously murderous with her next words.

“If you’re lying to me, even in the slightest way-”

“I can swear to you, in full confidence, that I’m not. Look here.” He stood and walked over to another coffin lying horizontally on the floor, gently taking hold of the lid and pulling it back. Grell’s eyes widened at the sight of the boy laying inside, body suspended in fluid and attached to medical equipment far too advanced for the Victorian era of the human world. She met Undertaker’s gaze once more, who was now starting to smirk. “Go get them back.”

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red-butler · 5 years

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Sapphic Sutcliff - Death

The manor was always so quiet when the Young Master was away in London. Not that there weren’t plenty of day to day disasters for the servants to keep on top of, but somehow things went so much easier when you didn’t have to worry about getting Sebastian’s disappointed look the moment you fell over and dropped yet another stack of beautiful plates or cups. With them both gone, Mey Rin could manage to relax and slow down, do things more carefully and therefore there were fewer disasters. The downside of course was that Sebastian wasn’t there to see them all working so well. Bard never tried really fancy cooking without Sebastian there to show off to, and he wasn’t actually that bad at simple things like breads and stews and porridge. Finny probably did less actual work than usual, but he also did less damage than usual, just spending his time wandering the estates and enjoying the good weather.

So all three servants were in a good mood as they saw the Master’s carriage pulling up to the manor again. It was earlier than they’d expected him back, Tanaka had implied that the Season could go on for a few weeks more depending on the weather and what the aristocrats were feeling like this year, and besides, the young Master had plenty of business aspects to get to in the city so no one had been expected him back for a month or so at least.

Quickly lining up in front of the manor, smiles bright and cheerful greetings flying as Sebastian pulled the coach up and jumped down smartly to assist his Master out of the coach. It was a celebratory feeling that was quickly quashed as they got a good look at the young Earl’s face. Ciel looked so much older than his twelve years, worn and tired and thin, as though he’d seen horrors, and knew that he was never going to stop seeing horrors and losing things, no matter how hard he fought, the world would always be unfair and heartless and punish him for every choice he tried to make. Mey Rin felt her heart sink down to her boots, he hadn’t looked like that since she’d first come here, back when he’d been so blank eyed and cold that she had almost wondered if he was actually human. What could possibly have happened in London to make him retreat to that again?

Bardroy, Finny and her exchanged glances as Ciel listlessly accepted their greetings and went indoors with Sebastian, probably to hole himself up in his study and work until he fell asleep, as he’d done a lot when he’d first been setting up his company. The servants retreated back to the kitchen, to discuss what might have happened and how they could help fix it, none of them were in the mood to try anything big though, not without knowing if it would make things worse.

Eventually Sebastian came back down, and they swarmed around him in concern as he set about making something complicated and sweet for the Earl. And that was a warning sign too really, usually Sebastian would be half forcing the Earl into eating a proper dinner, reminding him that desserts were not to be eaten at every meal and that he would rot off all his teeth; if he was simply allowing Ciel to not only have dessert for dinner, but to eat it in his study while he worked, then the Master must be in a very bad shape indeed.

Thankfully Sebastian was willing to tell them what had happened, that the Master’s investigation had gone well, and he had caught Jack the Ripper, but his Aunt had been slain in the fight to subdue the murderer. May Rin’s breath caught in horror, the beautiful Madame Red? So bright and glamorous, killed trying to protect her nephew? One of Ciel’s few living family members and she’d been ruthlessly cut down right in front to his eyes. Oh no, poor young Master! She and Bard exchanged horrified looks, and Finny was practically in tears himself, he had such a soft heart for anyone hurting.

“I trust that all of you understand this will be a difficult time for the Earl?” Sebastian was saying and they nodded fervently, even Tanaka joining in. “So to make it easier for him right now, I’m expecting all of you to be on your best behaviour, no accidents or disasters that could cause the young Master any distress. Understood?” He said with that silkily smooth threat to his voice that meant this was very important. Mey Rin barely stopped herself from saluting him, and Bard actually did, before lowering his hand sheepishly as Sebastian shot him a disdainful look and began heading out of the kitchen, holding the tray with the Master’s dinner on it easily despite the weight of it, and Mey Rin knew just how heavy those silver trays could get!

Bard swore under his breath and turned back to the stove, ready to start cleaning and Mey Rin sighed, looking towards the door and rather wanting a hug from someone. It wasn’t as though she’d known the lady that well…but she wasn’t used to having any connection at all to the people that died, the grief after a death was still strangely new to her and hurt each time. Then something else occurred to her and she gasped, running straight out of the room after Sebastian.

“Waaaaiiiiittt! Mister Sebastian!” She wailed, thudding down the hallway to where he was. He turned, one eyebrow raised questioningly just as her treacherous laces got loose again, catching under her boots and sending her flying forward an impressive distance to slam straight into him.

There was a moment of confusion and then she found herself being held up by his arm, looking up at his long suffering expression as he lay on the floor, knocked down by a flying maid, and holding the silver tray above both of their heads. Everything froze for a long moment as Mey Rin turned beet red and then Sebastian heaved a long, deeply patient sigh and pushed her upright again, standing up himself, and she would have been amazed at how he somehow managed to keep the tray level and secure through all this if she hadn’t been so busy wishing the ground would open up and eat her or something. Why did this always happen around him?

“Yes, Mey Rin?” He said, the tone so put upon and tired that she felt even worse, but the beautiful dark eyes fixed upon her, that stunning face and the memory of how it felt to be pressed up against his chest again all serving to make her dissolve into a puddle of goo on the floor. But then the remembrance of what she’d meant to come out to ask him hit her like a bucket of icy water and she got herself back under control again, blinking up at him.

“Um…well…I just wanted to, um…”

“Some time today, if you would.”

“I was just wondering what was goin’ to happen to Grell Sutcliff now?” She squeaked out. “If ‘is mistress is gone now?” Her mistress technically, but Sebastian had never really had any time for the clumsy but sweet butler Mey Rin loved so dearly, and now probably wasn’t the time to push. “Because they could come here right? As a…a…footman or somethin’ of course!” She added quickly, as though Grell, amazing and wonderful as she might be, would ever be able to be a butler to rival Sebastian.

“Mey Rin…”

“An’ I know he was a fair bit o’trouble last time and all, but he does care, and he could help an’ he could look after everything-“

“Mey Rin.”

“Because he already knows about the young Lord bein’, um, the Watchdog so’s it would be alright for him to-“

“Mey Rin!” He snapped at last and she fell silently, feeling her heart squeezing in her chest. Surely he wouldn’t just say no, she knew he hadn’t liked Grell much, but Ciel might appreciate the last link to his aunt and it would be better to have more servants who knew the truth around right? Besides, Grell was trainable, more so than the other servants to be honest, and she really did try hard.

“Sir?”

“Grell Sutcliff was killed along with Lady Burnett.” Sebastian said shortly, and then turned and walked away as though he hadn’t just torn Mey Rin’s heart out of her chest and shredded it to pieces.

“Killed?” She repeated numbly at his retreating back. Grell had died there? Protecting her mistress, and maybe Ciel and Sebastian as well? But…Grell had said they were a Grim Reaper, surely that made her immortal? She was something supernatural, with fiery red hair and wicked sharp teeth when she chose to show them, and soft green eyes that Mey Rin had practically been able to drown in and long hands that could hold you close and safe and comfort you after the world had fallen apart. Mey Rin swallowed and wrapped her own arms around herself, a sad imitation of the hug she suddenly felt as if she badly needed.

Sebastian wouldn’t lie, and he didn’t make mistakes. Mey Rin had never actually asked if Grell was immortal…she’d just assumed. A stupid thing to do, she’d never expected…this blow had just come out of nowhere, had carved out Mey Rin’s heart and lungs, leaving her suddenly hollow and empty and cold. Those soft smiles, wiped away forever? That gentle laugh, the occasional sly slips of sarcasm and humour, silenced? That warm beating pulse beneath her skin stilled and cold?

She drew in a choked breath, her eyes horribly dry even as her lungs gasped and her breathing hitched. Grell… Grell had cared for her, and Mey Rin had loved her, loved her with a strength that took her by surprise. Why had she died? What monster could have taken her down, why had she fought instead of running? Mey Rin almost followed back again after Sebastian to ask, to find out everything that had happened and led to Grell Sutcliff, her love, lying dead and still and lost; but then the idea of hearing Sebastian’s cold clinical voice describing somebody murdering the woman Mey Rin had loved, had loved so very very much, she didn’t think she could bear that. So instead she bit her lip until it hurt, until the pain reminded her that she was still here and alive, even if one of the biggest reasons for continuing that life had just been wiped away.

Arms still wrapped tightly around herself she turned, making her unsteady way back towards the kitchen, she needed to be with people, she felt if she were left alone right now, the horror and pain and grief might just rip through her and leave her useless and hurt and helpless herself.

Grell was gone. The person who’d stopped, who’d noticed Mey Rin, called her beautiful and amazing, who had smiled and laughed with her, held her when the nightmares hit, soothed her when the memories were overpowering, helped her when she was clumsy and awkward and dropped things or spilt them and ruined them. She was gone, lost forever and Mey Rin hadn’t even had a chance to say goodbye, hadn’t known that the woman she loved had been taken from her, hadn’t been able to protect Grell, not even with all the talents she had, she’d been away and useless and had let Grell down, let her down so badly…

She pushed open the kitchen door and practically ran over to where Bard turned, honest concern on his face as he saw her expression. He caught her automatically in a hug, anxiously asking what was wrong as she buried her face in the comforting reassurance of his chest, breathing in the smell of ash and smoke and bread that followed him around. She managed to gasp out Grell’s name as the tears began to pour, sobs shaking through her. Finny was suddenly there too, holding her securely between the two of them as she cried over her loss and sobbed out her pain and despair. Bard was holding her tightly, and she didn’t need to look up to see the understanding and grief on his face too, he’d liked Grell, as much work as the other had caused, they’d been friends, and Finny was crying with her, mourning the loss of another member of their far too small family.

#sapphic sutcliff #sapphic sutcliff week #grell sutcliff #grellrin #mey rin #my writing #my fiction #kuroshitsuji #black butler

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