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stenbrozier · 4 years

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Addict (Teen!Richie Tozier x Reader)

Warnings: drug use/abuse (cigarettes, alcohol, weed), mentions of dead parents + drug overdoses, mentions of rape (not in detail), religious themes (Christianity), angst, violent outbursts, swearing, cute and caring Richie Tozier

Aged up to 17 !!!

Based off the song Using by Sorority Noise

A/N: I needed to write this because I’ve been grappling with nicotine withdrawal and writing is the one way that I can really release this energy. I’m sorry if this offends anyone in anyway. I just really needed an outlet, especially while I’m stuck at home during this quarantine. This is my longest one yet, so I hope you guys enjoy it.

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The moment (Y/N) took a puff of Beverly’s cigarette for the first time, she was hooked. It was nice to have something to hold onto, something to fall back on when everything felt like it was going to shit. After her first cigarette, she asked Bev to get her smokes whenever she was getting herself some because (Y/N) didn’t have the balls to flirt with that creep like Beverly did. She couldn’t just waltz up to Mr. Keene and say that she was getting them for her parents because she didn’t have any parents to get them for. She lived with her aunt and uncle, and everyone knew that they were the most Christian, drug repelling household in all of Derry. They would berate her friends if they walked into the house smelling even faintly of alcohol, weed, or cigarettes, especially if it was Richie. Richie smoked weed all the time but always had to change before he went to pick up (Y/N); however, that didn’t stop him from having a natural drug scent. They had been best friends the majority of their lives, ever since she had moved in next door when they were 7. Her aunt and uncle loved him, loved the way he handled her and helped her through life if she needed it, but they despised the fact that he did drugs. What they didn’t know, was that she did them with him.

Richie would sneak into her room, usually at 1am, and would drag her out of bed to go on walks with him. These walks consisted of smoking cigs or weed, occasionally getting drunk off of a bottle of wine. Richie introduced her to alcohol, and it was something else she started to rely on. Richie noticed how bad she was getting after that. She would go to parties just for the sake of getting drunk, and Richie started to worry every time she got too drunk. Something else that was worrying him was how quickly she finished a pack of cigarettes. Bev would get her a pack, and she’d finish it within a day or two. (Y/N) was a chain smoker; it was very hard to catch her without a cigarette in her mouth. The only time she didn’t smoke was when she was within a 100 feet of her house or inside it, but once she couldn’t see it anymore when they were walking to school or to hang out with the losers, she would light up cigarette after cigarette. Richie tried multiple times to talk to her about it, but she just shrugged it off, saying that it wasn’t as big of a problem as he said it was.

“I don’t smoke all that often,” she would say defensively. “Fucking, come on, Rich. You smoke, too.” She rolled her eyes at him whenever he brought it up. He did his best to talk to Bev, but she would just shrug her shoulders.

“I only buy her one pack a week,” Bev said, crossing her arms over her chest. “It’s not my fault she smokes it so fast.”

“You need to stop buying her cigarettes,” Richie whispered back, seeing that (Y/N) was walking towards them. “She’s getting bad, and she’s going to keep abusing it unless you stop supplying.” Beverly sighed, smiling at her best friend as she stopped in front of them, wrapping her in a hug. (Y/N) handed Bev a $10 as she pulled away, asking her to get her the “usual.” Richie knocked into Bev’s shoulder, her glaring at him as he went around to (Y/N). He wrapped my around her waist and she smiled up at him. They’d always been touchy; it wasn’t something that bothered them. They were both touch starved growing up, and they needed that person that would give them that physical attention. It just so happened that they had found each other.

“Don’t...don’t you think you should try smoking weed a bit more,” Bev asked, trying to persuade (Y/N) away from the nicotine. “It’s better for your lungs, anyways. I-I mean not completely, but at least it’s not all nicotine and chemicals and shit.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes, pushing away from Richie because she knew he was behind her questioning.

“I’m fine,” (Y/N) said, kicking her feet along the pavement. “I’m already a few years in anyway. I might as well keep smoking. Besides, you smoke, too. Don’t be a hypocrite, Bevvy.” She shrugged her shoulders, pulling her backpack straps up higher. “Hey! Did you guys hear about Greta’s party tonight? I think I’m gonna go.” Richie gulped, moving swiftly towards the girl and wrapping her in his arms again.

“I’ll-I’ll go with you,” he mumbled, rubbing his hand down her arm. She shrugged looking over at Bev. Bev shook her head and held her hand out.

“Ben wanted to have a movie night,” she answered simply. “Maybe Eds and Stanley will go with you guys.”

“No,” (Y/N) shook her head, “Bill and Mike might though.” She thumped Richie’s head with her pointer finger, a few of his curls shaking from the impact. “We should invite them to the quarry.” Richie shook his head rapidly, which caused Bev to raise her eyebrows.

“Why can’t they come to the quarry,” she asked suggestively as she stuffed the $10 bill into her back pocket. Richie stammered, looking at (Y/N) for help.

“It’s kind of our thing,” (Y/N) said. She freed herself from Richie’s death hold, booping his nose when he frowned. “We go and get high most days. Sometimes we just talk. It’s our time. It’s personal.” She looked over at Richie, who was staring at her with a small smile. “I’m sorry I even suggested it.” She whispered the apology to him, and he nodded, looking over at Bev.

“We’ll see you at the usual time Monday night,” he asked, throwing up finger guns. The Losers usually met at the clubhouse on Mondays and Thursdays. They didn’t have a lot of classes together anymore, so that was their time to catch up and just talk. She nodded back at them, shooting back finger guns, laughing as she ran off to meet Ben at the bike rack. Richie unwrapped his arm from (Y/N)‘s shoulder, reaching his bent elbow out to her with a dramatic bow. She laughed, wrapping her hands in the crook of his elbow and they walked off the quarry.

“Are you sure you want to come to the party with me tonight,” the girl asked. Richie shrugged, looking down at her as they crossed over the rickety Kissing Bridge, ducking under a few trees to get out to the sandy, faux beach that was the quarry. They sat down on the big rock wall, and (Y/N) sighed in content when the sun hit her face. Richie laughed at her, taking his backpack off and sitting down next to her. “You never answered my question.” Richie furrowed his eyebrows at her as he turned his head to look at her.

“What question?” He knew exactly what question; he was just trying to avoid it. In all honesty, he hated going to parties with (Y/N). She always got wasted and left him by himself, and yeah, he liked to drink, but not by himself and not while babysitting his best friend.

“Do you have a problem accompanying me to Greta’s later?” Richie looked over at her, sighing before moving to lay on his side and prop himself on his elbow to look down at her.

“I hate going to parties,” Richie said calmly. “Especially with you, and it’s not because I don’t like you anymore or anything. It’s just...” he thought for a moment, “I’m tired of you walking off and getting wasted and I have to clean you up.” (Y/N) scoffed at him, sitting up as she scooted off the rock. “Don’t get upset. I have the right to hate when you get drunk!” (Y/N) sniffled, tears threatening to fall.

“You know parties are the only time I can let loose,” she responded, her voice getting caught in her throat. “I get wasted because it’s fun, Rich. I never asked you to be my babysitter.” Richie stood up, throwing his arms up in the air.

“You get wasted every single weekend,” he yelled, causing her to flinch slightly. She could tell he was getting pissed off, and she hated when he got angry. He became a bitch, and it wasn’t something that she wanted to see. She made him mad once when they were 14 and he didn’t speak to her for weeks; this was all over her missing one of their quarry meetings because she promised Bev she’d help her dye her hair. “I have to babysit you cause no one else will! No one cares enough, not even you! You’re always getting drunk and it pisses me off. I hate seeing you risk yourself to cirrhosis because of how much you drink!”

“Richie, I’m in perfectly good health!” (Y/N) grabbed her backpack, slinging it over her shoulder. “How much I smoke and how wasted I get doesn’t fucking concern you.”

“Yes, it does,” he said angrily, jabbing his finger at her. “It concerns me because you’re all I have. You’re the only person that I know will be there forever and you...you’re killing yourself! At this rate, you’re gonna get lung or liver cancer before you’re 35! Hell, maybe fucking both!” She tried to walk away, but he grabbed her arm. “I’m not done. I love you, (Y/N), okay? I-I’ve loved you forever and-“ (Y/N) ripped her arm away from him, looking him up and down with tears streaming down her face.

“If you loved me, you’d let me do what I want to do ,” she spat at him. She could feel the tears streaming down her face, soaking her shirt collar. Actually, it wasn’t her shirt at all. It was one of Richie’s shirts that she’d stolen and cropped, but it didn’t matter anymore. She thought about it for a second, looking down at the band that was on it: The Cure. She sighed, looking back up Richie who was grabbing his backpack, too. “I’m going to ask Bill to come with me, instead. Show up if you want, but don’t try confessing your love for me unless you’ll let me be me.”

“Darling, come on,” Richie said, the high pitched nature of his voice scaring him. “Don’t do this. If you don’t love me, just say it.” (Y/N) turned away from him, taking in a deep breath.

“I never said I didn’t love you back,” she whispered. “Just don’t tell me what to do and then think I’m gonna kiss you and throw away every other thing I love to make you happy.” She started walking up the steep hill that separated the quarry from the street. “I’ll see you Monday.” Richie watched as she walked away, and he followed her. He tried to catch up with her but she ran off, too fast for him to catch. He sighed, banging his fist on the splintering wood of the Kissing Bridge.

“Fuck,” he screamed as he started punching the shit out of the bridge, splintering his knuckles and making them bleed.

———————————

(Y/N) got to her house, slamming the door shut and marching over the phone. She had all of the Losers’ numbers memorized, so she quickly dialed Bill. Mrs. Denbrough picked up, and they had a conversation about school as she waited for her son to come down and grab the phone. Mrs. Denbrough said a quick farewell as Bill slipped onto the phone.

“H-hey,” he said and (Y/N) could practically hear the smile in his voice. The two didn’t hang out all too often anymore; they were honestly the most distant out of the group, but that didn’t stop them from loving one another unconditionally. “Do you n-need something?” (Y/N) laughed, rolling her eyes.

“Wanna go to Greta’s with me,” she asked as she twirled the phone cord. “Richie’s being a dick and he’s decided that he doesn’t like getting wasted with me anymore.” She heard Bill sigh and let out a small chuckle.

“W-what time does it st-start? I have b-baseball practice in the m-mor-morning.” (Y/N) sighed, scuffing her shoes against the wooden floor of her uncle’s house as she thought. She shrugged as if he could see her.

“I don’t know. 8ish? But I can always ask Eddie,” she said, taking on a reassuring tone. She hated taking Eds to parties but loved it all the same. It was very difficult to get him to let loose, but when he did, he was the life of the party. “Actually, don’t worry about it. You focus on baseball. Love you, Billy.”

“L-love you, too, (Y/N).” The line went dead and (Y/N) started to dial in Eddie’s phone number. She was prepared for Sonia, since she barely let Eddie touch the phone, and was pleasantly surprised when she heard Eddie’s voice saying a soft greeting.

“Eds! You’ve got to come to Greta’s with me,” (Y/N) yelled. “Pretty please?” She did a pouty lip, more to allow Eddie to hear the desperation in her voice. She heard him sigh, and the sigh felt as if it was in remorse.

“I-I’d love to, but...why can’t you just go with Richie? Trouble in paradise,” he asked mockingly. “Listen, I’ll come by and we’ll talk, and if after we talk you still want to get wasted, we’ll go.” (Y/N) scoffed.

“There is no paradise to have trouble in,” she said defensively. “Besides, the conversation will all be done in vain, Kaspbrak. I always want to get wasted.” Eddie laughed on the other side of the phone, shaking his head.

“Fine. I’ll be over in like 45 minutes so you can get ready for the party with company.” Eddie regretted telling her that the moment he did. He didn’t want (Y/N) to drink anymore, but he wanted her to be happy. Maybe he could convince her to drink a little less tonight and not blackout like she normally did.

“Okay, Eds,” she replied sweetly. “Door will be unlocked, so just walk in. I’ll probably be in my room.” He made a noise in response and then the line went dead. (Y/N) sighed, walking up to her room. She looked out her window and noticed Richie’s blinds were close, so she closed hers as well.

——————————-

“Richard, you have to watch what you punch,” Maggie said to him sternly, taking the set of tweezers back to his knuckles to pull out the last few splinters. “I know you were upset, but you don’t have to punch things. Don’t worry, she’ll come around.” Richie scoffed and rolled his eyes, his mother lightly bopping his head to the side when he did. “Go wash off your hand and we’ll bandage it.” She ushered him to stand up, pushing him lightly over to the kitchen sink as she went to the bathroom done the hall for bandages. He sighed, taking the hand soap and putting it on his left hand, rubbing the soapy water over his blood covered right hand. The soap made him cringe, it stinging his cuts a bit. He finished washing it, taking a paper towel and dabbing them to dry them off. Maggie came back with the bandages, going over the him and wrapping them around his knuckles. She secured the antiseptic wrap, giving him a soft kiss on the hand.

“I think I’m going to go to a party tonight,” Richie said softly. “(Y/N)’s mad at me and I-I don’t want her to get too drunk.” Maggie nodded, waving for him to follow her in the living room. They say on the cough and Richie tucked his legs underneath him, feeling his mom’s head on his shoulder.

“Just don’t do anything stupid,” she said, sitting up and kissing his temple. “I’m going to go get things for dinner. Do you need anything?” Richie shrugged.

“More Gatorade?” Richie drank Gatorades all the time. They were packed with sugar and sodium; however, they miraculously calmed him down and made him sit still for once. He looked up at his mom with a small smile on his face, and she pinched his cheeks. She nodded, grabbing her jacket and purse from the coat hanger. She checked her purse for her keys, and she opened the door, ready to leave. “The blue ones!”

“I know, honey,” she replied softly. “I love you.” She walked out the door before Richie had the chance to say it back, but he would’ve been cut off my the phone ringing anyway.

“Hello,” he said, expecting (Y/N) on the line.

“Hey, Rich.” He sighed, disappointed. It was Eddie. “What happened between you and (Y/N)?” He furrowed his brows. She asked Eds to go with him? Damn, she really didn’t want him there.

“She’s pissed I don’t support her chain smoking and excessive alcohol consumption,” Richie replied flatly. “Did she ask you to go with her?” He could practically hear Eddie, nodding a soft sniffle coming from his end.

“Yeah, I’m leaving in a few minutes to help her get ready for the party. You should show up, let her know you still care.” Richie tapped his fingers against the phone, no doubt causing a hollow sound to go through to Eddie’s side.

“I was going to,” Richie said sarcastically. “I also, might’ve, sorta confessed my feelings to her as she was screaming at me to “not control her”, so I need to make up for that.”

“Jesus, fuck, Rich,” Eddie mumbled on the other end. “We’ll talk more tonight. I’ve gotta get to your girlfriend’s house. See you later.”

“She’s not-“ The line went dead before Richie finished. He sighed. “-my girlfriend.” He hung the phone up, marching up to his room to see that there was little light coming in. He shrugged, thinking his mom must’ve dusted the blinds. He opened up his curtain, bringing the blinds up to see that (Y/N)’s were closed. Richie rubbed his hand across his face. They always left their blinds open, no matter how mad they were at one another. She must’ve been pissed.

——————————

Eddie walked into (Y/N)’s house, and he marched up the stairs. He saw that her door was slightly ajar and she was laying out outfits on her bed. He walked in, her hand waving him over.

“Light blue dress with my white Converses or black jeans and one of Richie’s cropped shirts with Docs?” She looked up at him to see him biting his lip, tilting his head to the side to closely examine the outfits. He noticed a blue mark on the white cropped shirt and he pointed it out.

“Is that marker or paint? Get a different shirt you’re not wearing one with a stain on it.” Eddie walked to the closet when she did, looking at all the shirts she had. He noticed a faded olive green top with bell sleeves and he took it down from the rack. “I think this one with the jeans and the white Converses.” He shoved it at her. (Y/N) looked at it, nodding before taking off her shirt and throwing it into her hamper. She slipped the shirt on, going back out into her room to put on the jeans. Once she slipped on the jeans, Eddie looked at her with his head tilted side ways.

“Why are you looking at me like that,” she said, furrowing her eyebrows and frantically looking at her self in her body length mirror.

“Tuck in the front, fix your hair, put on some mascara and lip gloss,” he said bluntly. Eddie ended it with smile and (Y/N) went over and ruffled his hair.

“Thanks for being blunt, love,” she sighed. She dramatically rolled her head around on your neck and sat down at the bench in front of her vanity. “Love my quintessential gay best friend.” She laughed and Eddie rolled his eyes.

“I’m not gay, you bitch,” Eddie said, sitting down on her bed. “But I am pretty sure that you should try to make things better with Richie again. I called him earlier and he was a little bit of a mess. He sounded like he was in pain, I don’t know why.” (Y/N) sighed, finishing up her mascara before she turned around to look at Eddie.

“He closed his blinds, Eds,” (Y/N) shrieked. When Eddie just looked at her weird she sighed. “It means he’s pissed. We never close blinds without talking about it first.” Eddie snickered and (Y/N) shot him a death glare.

“Love birds,” he said, making it sound like a song. (Y/N) rolled her eyes, turning back to her mirror to tussle her hair and make it lay flatter on her shoulders. After a few seconds of changing its position, she sighed and walked over to her desk to grab a hair tie. As she put her hair into a bun, Eddie started talking to her again. “He’s not pissed at you. He’s pissed at what you do. There’s a difference.” (Y/N) scoffed.

“I can do what I want Eds and he just needs to realize it.” She pulled some baby hairs out of the front of her bun, watching as they framed her face and blew from the slight breeze her fan was giving her. “We should eat before. You wanna go to the pizza shop in town for dinner?” Eddie shrugged and thought before shaking his head ‘no.’

“Let’s go to the diner,” Eddie said. “We can at least get healthier food there to combat all the alcohol you’re going to drink tonight.” (Y/N) slipped on her shoes and threw the bird up at Eddie, causing him to laugh. “And don’t forget your lip gloss.” She shoved him out the door, grabbing her purse and shutting her bedroom door behind them.

—————————

After the diner, they walked over the Greta’s and all (Y/N) had in mind was beer. She wondered if Greta had gotten the good kind this time, the craft beer that came from a local brewery in Bangor, or if she got the shitty beer from the grocery store in town. (Y/N) also thought about Richie. He confessed his love to her, which was horrifying enough. She always tried to push her feelings of him away because she knew that they’d got unrequited, but she was quite wrong. He told her he was in love with her, and it made her regret walking away from him. But she wanted to get drunk and he didn’t understand that. Eddie talked her through it at dinner and revealed Richie was going to apologize at the party, or so that’s why it seemed like he was going to do when Eddie called him earlier.

“He isn’t mad at you, babe,” Eddie had said. “He’s mad at himself for letting your alcohol and drug issues get this bad.” (Y/N) didn’t think they were bad. Sure, she smoked too much and got high too often, but she didn’t get drunk more than once or twice a month, tops. She shook her head, looking down at the streets, which were now illuminated with the orange glow of the street lights.

“I’ll be okay,” (Y/N) said slightly above a whisper. She said it more to her self than Eddie, but she looked up to see his eyebrows raised and a major side eye. (Y/N) grabbed his hand, dragging him down the street, causing him to fumble with his fanny pack to make sure the zipper was closed so that nothing would fall out. When they got to the Keene household, there were a few cars already parked out front and they could hear music coming from inside. (Y/N) jumped up and down slightly with a little squeal and Eddie rolled his eyes, smiling slightly at his best friend. They walked into the house and Greta greeted them, pursing her lips together and turning around when she saw who it was. Greta liked (Y/N), but she knew that with (Y/N) came Eddie, the Trashmouth, and the rest of their nerdy friends. They didn’t ruin the parties, though. In fact, their drunk asses made them more fun, so it was whatever. (Y/N) made a b-line towards the kitchen, smiling when she saw vodka and whiskey as an option, too. She grabbed a cup, pouring and taking three shots of vodka while Eddie watched awkwardly from the side, tapping his fingers on the granite counter.

“You drinking already,” said a deep voice from behind them. (Y/N) turned around to see Ryan, a kid who was in her science class. He was the second best baseball player on the high school’s team, trailing behind Bill who already had 7 scholarships as a junior. Ryan had 4 and was extremely popular. (Y/N) smirked a little, shrugging her shoulders as she looked at Eddie and raised her eyebrows a few times. She grabbed a beer from the cooler, the good kind, and opened it with the ring in her finger.

“It’s a party, what else am I supposed to do,” she replied with a hint of over sweetness in her voice. Eddie noticed and smiled dramatically at Ryan before dragging the girl away from him and out into the backyard, where people were smoking weed and jumping into the pool. “Eds!” (Y/N) whined as she looked back into the house through the big windows, seeing Ryan grabbing a red SOLO cup and pouring whiskey into it.

“We should wait for Richie somewhere by ourselves,” Eddie replied, dragging her over to a bench swing that Greta had in her backyard. “We’ll just sit here and wait.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes, standing up and going back to the house. Eddie quickly got up, tripping as the bench swung back and made him slip on the grass. When he caught up to her, she was talking with Ryan in the living room. The party had gotten exceptionally more crowded in such a short amount of time, and he stood on his tiptoes to look over the crowd and at the front door for Richie. When his eyes met the closed door, he sighed and walked over to the kitchen, grabbing himself a SOLO cup. He looked at the drinks, ultimately deciding he’d make something (Y/N/N) taught him: a Cape Cod. He poured about three shots of vodka into the cup and then topped it off with cranberry juice. Eddie took a sip of it, grimacing when he tasted how strong the vodka was. As he poured more cranberry juice in, he heard heavy footsteps coming into the kitchen.

“‘Sup Eds,” Richie said softly, clapping his hand on his shoulder. “Why’s (Y/N/N) not with you?” Eddie took another sip of his drink and pointed out towards the living room, seeing the jock she was with heads over everyone else. Richie followed Eddie’s eyes and cursed under his breath. “I-I’m gonna go talk to her.” Richie shoved through the crowd, making his way towards the two. He appeared behind Ryan, causing your too furrow your eyebrows as Ryan yelled over the music about college or drugs or something. You tapped Ryan’s shoulder and pointed to the kitchen, silently letting him know you were “getting another drink.” You looked at Richie disdainfully and sighed when you heard his footsteps following you. Eddie smiled at you, glad to see you were okay.

“What the fuck, Rich,” you yelled, stomping your foot on the ground. “I thought I told you to leave me be.” He reached out to grab your arm, but you yanked it away, taking a long swing of your beer and finishing it off. You abandoned it on the counter, walking around Eds to get a SOLO cup.

“What happened to the one you had literally half an hour ago?” Eddie asked, scoffing as you shrugged at opened the green apple flavored Smirnoff that caught your eye. Richie took it right out of your hand, capping it and holding it above your head.

“No more.” He grabbed your hand, sticking the bottle back on the counter behind you as he dragged you out of the kitchen.

“Richie I’ve barely had anything,” you whined, stumbling over your feet as you got pulled into the hallway that lead to the front door. Eddie followed close behind, taking tiny sips of his drink as he helped Richie push you out of the house. “What the fuck! You guys are no fun.” You crossed your arms, allowing Richie to shove you into the passenger’s seat of his beat up Buick Regal. Eddie hopped in the back. When Richie got into the driver’s seat, you smacked his arm out of rage, tears welling up in your eyes. He started the car and pulled off the street, taking a few turns to get to Eddie’s house.

“If you need help with her, call me,” Eddie said quietly to Richie before reaching around front and giving (Y/N) a kiss on the forehead. “I love you, (Y/N/N).” You sighed in response, squishing yourself into a ball and moving closer to the window. He quickly got out of the car, closing the door and running up to his house. Richie drove up into the intersection, making a left and heading towards where Mike lived, to the farmland.

“Home’s right, dumbass,” you spat softly, rolling your eyes as he kept straight ahead. You looked down at his hands on the wheels, and through the dim streetlights, you could see that his hands were extremely white and wrapped in bandages. Usually, they had a pinkish tone to them, but all traces of that were gone. The bandages were stained a little with blood, so you figured he punched the shit out of some wall. He was mad. Richie was angrier than you had ever seen him, and you hadn’t even looked at his face yet. Tears stung your eyes when you saw the familiar dip in the trees that lead down into the quarry. He parked his car right at the top of the hill, getting out without a word. You got out, too, following him down into the quarry. When you got there, you saw him sit down on the rock and put his head in his hands. You came and sat next to him, folding in on yourself by wrapping your hands around your knees which were pulled up to your chest.

“I told you I didn’t want you to go to that party,” Richie whispered. He ran his hands up into his hair, the curls falling over his forehead when he violently slammed his hands down on his lap. He looked over at you, a scowl on his face and tears in his eyes. “That guy was going to get you drunk and fuck you. He was going to fuck you, and you were going to let him.”

“Richie, I would’ve said no,” you said defensively. “One, my standards aren’t that low, and two, I wouldn’t want him to touch me while I was sob-“ Richie scoffed, shaking his head.

“You were on your way to being wasted as soon as I got there, darling.” He stood up, kicking the small rocks that lines the big boulders. “He was going to rape you. I could see it.” You looked down at your hands without answering, feeling tears well up in your eyes. “You can’t ever go to party without me again. I have to protect you.” You started crying, sobs racking your body as you wiped your eyes in your sleeves.

“Says the one who told me he didn’t care what I did not even 6 hours ago,” you yelled, pointing at him as tears continued to fall down your face. “You’re a piece of shit! Ya know that, Richie? You want to help people, but then you just trample over everything they love, including people.” Richie furrowed his eyebrows, confused at the end of her statement.

“People? I’ve never purposely hurt someone in my whole li-“ (Y/N) pointed to his knuckles.

“What did you do?” (Y/N) asked, sniffling as she tried to calm herself down. “You punched the shit out of something, I can tell that much. I just don’t want you hurt.” Richie sighed, sitting down next to the girl who looked so small compared to the rocks and big trees behind her that were faintly highlighted by the moonlight.

“Now you understand,” Richie responded calmly. “I don’t want you hurt. Drinking hurts you. Smoking hurts you.”

“You know why I do it,” (Y/N) interrupted. “It makes me forget, drinking especially. I hate thinking of them so much. They’ve been gone for years, but I can’t stop thinking about them. So, I try to destroy my mind enough to forget for a little while.” Richie hesitantly put an arm around her, and when she melted into him, he pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head.

“I don’t understand that,” Richie answered. “But I can tell you that drinking and smoking is just going to get you closer to where they were. They were so addicted they died, babe. Died.” He shoved his face into your hair, sniffling as he held you super tight for a few seconds while he paused. When he pulled away, he brought one of his hands up to your cheek. “I-I can’t have you dying on me.” You looked up at Richie, tears falling down his face as he stared into your eyes. You leant up closer to him, bringing his face down to yours and kissing him on the lips. He was taken by surprise and pulled away immediately, a confused expression on his face.

“A-are you okay,” you questioned. “I shouldn’t have kissed you, I’m sorry. You just...earlier you told me that you loved me and I love you too and I thought I’d kiss you because-because this is a meaningful moment and-“ Richie planted his lips back into yours, causing you to melt into him. After a few seconds, he pulled away and rubbed his thumb over your cheekbone as he smiled at you.

“I love you too much to lose you,” he said softly. “I-I don’t care you smoke or drink...just-just don’t get excessive, okay? That’s my worst fear, honestly, you becoming an alcoholic or dying of lung cancer.” You snickered a little, Richie look at you in confusion.

“I’ll take it easier, ya goof.” You wrapped your arms around his torso and you stuffed your face in his neck. “Whenever I go to a party, I’ll make sure you protect me from all of the big, scary guys.” Richie laughed at that, and he ended up having to pull away to catch his breath.

“I’ll do my best, princess,” he said back, his laughing fit still leaving his body. “I will definitely do my best.”

#it imagines #richie tozier smut #richie tozier #richie tozier headcanons #richie tozier x reader #bill denbrough #stanley uris #eddie kaspbrak #beverly marsh #ben hanscom #mike hanlon #masterlist

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wildwandererblog · 6 years

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2017 Lessons Learned

Well, I guess the seasons over. I hiked 35 unique 14ers and 2 13ers since June of this year, bringing my total 14er count to 47 (including repeats). I also made several failed attempts of 14ers and successful summits of peaks at 8K, 9K, 10K, and 11K not included in these numbers.

When I started this endeavor last June I had a goal of hiking eleven 14ers this year. I more than tripled that goal. Not because I intended to, but because it became really fun: mountaineering became a passion, a lifestyle, and very, very addicting.

Most trails took 3-5 hours to drive to, approximately 10 hours to conquer, and 3-5 hours to drive back. That’s a lot of solo time to think: I loved every minute of it!

I’ve learned a lot too. So much I could easily write a book. Obviously I’m not done learning: Mountaineering is full of continuous learning, improvement, and reevaluating.

I wouldn’t be exaggerating to tell you my whole world view has changed this summer. We all hear or read certain words and immediately a picture comes to mind of what that word means. We have an association with that word. For example, what do you see in your mind when you hear the word gully, traverse, junction, self arrest, spur, couloir, glissade, basin, post hole, head wall, saddle, pitch, scramble, ridge, cornice, crevasse, chute, narrow, soft, hard, rock wall, scree, river crossing, switchbacks, talus, summer storm, exposure, approach, cairn, chimney, timberline, gain the summit or take the ridge?

Previous to this 14er endeavor I had visions in my head to fill all these words and phrases, but in this past climbing season these visions have changed. Drastically. They’ve come to life and taken on a world of their own. Now when I see the word ‘basin’ in my head it’s not a drawing on a map, but a full scale area of drainage and rolling hills spanning multiple football fields in length, covered in tundra and alpine flowers. A ‘gully’ is a 4 letter word (more on that later) and ‘exposure’ is something dangerous that could include drastic changes in weather or falling to my death. When I hear the phrase ‘take the ridge’ I see a long narrow mountaintop with steep drops on either side I’m supposed to navigate around towers or rock to get to the summit I wish to climb. I can envision in my mind vividly what each of these words means as an experience, and these experiences have changed me.

As I said earlier, I’ll continue to learn, and I’ve learned more than I could ever put into words here, but I’ll give you some of the highlights in no particular order:

Climbing is not the same as Hiking. There is a huge difference between hiking and climbing (and between different types of climbing). All 14ers include a hike, but not all include a climb. I’d say most climbs begin with Difficult Class 2 and include Class 3 and above. A climb requires putting away the camera and using all four appendages to scale a mountain. There were times this caught me off guard, even with proper planning. In essence, climbing is mountaineering, and hiking is just that (hiking).

Hiking /Climbing /Mountaineering takes planning: Successful summits don’t just happen. Driving directions, routes, GPS coordinates, weather, dates, time, ability, etc. all need to be taken care of before the hike actually takes place. Of course, you can just try to do all this on the fly, but I can guarantee you something will go wrong. Things go wrong with even the best of plans, but when you plan you give yourself a bigger degree of success.

When you plug in the coordinates into your GPS and it brings you 200 feet but 10 driving miles away from the trailhead where you no longer have access to cellular data and the GPS keeps unsuccessfully trying to reroute but you HAVE NO DATA and you arrive in the dark it can be daunting, but if you have a printed map available that can get you where you’re supposed to go you’ll appreciate your planning. This happened to me so many times this summer I’ve lost count.

In addition, there were several times I found out hours before a hike my booked schedule was now free and I was able to go. If I hadn’t already pre-planned routes, driving directions, etc. I would have missed out on a hike because they take a while to plan. Several times weather derailed my plans at the last minute. Because I’d put together dozens of potential trips I just switched to an area with more favorable weather. Mountaineering takes planning. Plan.

Hike when you can (see above). It’s not always easy to get up at 2am and drive 4 hours to a trailhead, but I’ve never regretted a hike. If I slept in on all the days I wanted to instead of hiking I would have missed dozens of amazing experiences, all for sleep. You can tell people about your dreams or your accomplishments. As far as I’m concerned, sleep when the weather is bad, hike when you can.

Difficult Class 2 means gully. I hate gullies. I used to think a gully was a beautiful canyon full of lush landscape, trees, waterfalls, and streams (hello, Fern Gully?) but they’re not. Gullies are alleys eroded by water and snow. They’re usually narrow and steep, formed by loose rock and sand, extremely difficult to find traction on to climb, and the only route up the mountain due to steep rocks on all sides.

The more challenging ones encompass an entire mountainside. They are difficult to climb up, but even more difficult to climb down, as your center of gravity is off and slipping and sliding hundreds of yards to your death or grave bodily injury is a serious possibility. In my opinion, gullies are more dangerous and difficult to climb than a Class 3, and a route that includes a gully is one I try to avoid if at all possible. Wear a helmet and microspikes whether or not there’s snow/ice.

Listen to others. Ask for advice from others who’ve summited a mountain you’ve yet to summit. I’ve never understood why some people just don’t want to take advice? Everyone has something you can learn from. As far as I’m concerned, I want to be as prepared as possible when out there dozens or hundreds of miles from civilization (read: help is far away). It’s great to know if there’s a false summit or difficult area that has a trick to get around. Ask hikers hiking down the mountain while you’re hiking up about conditions (etc.) and truly listen to their responses. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been hiking down a mountain due to weather and tried to warn people hiking up. No one has ever taken my advice, and I know for a fact several of them ended up getting caught in hailstorms above treeline.

Everyone has different comfort levels / risk tolerances. Know yours. When getting advice from others keep this in mind. Challenge yourself, but don’t be stupid. I’ve taken several routes I know I wouldn’t have completed if I’d been with others because I have a higher risk tolerance than most people. We would have turned back and I wouldn’t have summited. I’ve also taken alternate routes when the one in front of me was too difficult. The bottom line is if you don’t feel comfortable don’t do it just because someone else has.

Climbing time and pace don’t correlate to distance. Just because you can hike 20 miles in a day near your home doesn’t mean you can hike a 20 mile 14er in the same amount of time. A general rule of thumb for hiking is 2mph, but this varies widely depending on ability, experience, weather, carrying weight, and terrain. Just because you hiked a 7 mile class 1 14er in 3 hours does not mean you can hike a 7 mile class 2 14er in 3 hours. Look at elevation gain and difficulty of terrain before setting out, and remember climbing takes longer than hiking. Think about it: Can you climb up a mile worth of rocks in the same amount of time it would take you to walk the same distance? Probably not. This corresponds with 14ers too, and learning your speed comes with experience.

Keep your pack packed. This also goes hand in hand with planning. If you never unpack your gear you’ll never need to re-pack it. I always keep my microspikes, sunscreen, gloves, hat, compass, emergency first aid kit, matches, whistle, etc. in my hiking pack. When I get back from a hike I refill my water bladder and replace my bandana (and wash the old one). I never need to wonder where my gear is or if I have it because I always keep it in my pack. This saves me the time and hassle of prepping the night before, and wondering where stuff is.

Have the proper gear. This is very important. You shouldn’t just head out on a hike up a 14er with just tennis shoes and a water bottle (although trust me, I’ve seen many people do just this). Know what the 10 essentials are and bring them. Use a water bladder instead of a water bottle. Get a good pair of hiking boots, trekking poles, a helmet, microspikes, and all weather jacket. It’s amazing what a difference good shoes and microspikes can make on a trail with just a little bit of snow/ice. If the weather/terrain calls for it, invest in crampons, climbing gloves, and an ice axe (and learn how to use them properly before needing them). It’s extremely frustrating to hike in 10 miles and have less than 1 mile left to the summit, only to have to turn back because you don’t have crampons and you can’t hike any further without them.

Learn to layer. The weather on the mountains is unpredictable and changes quickly. I’ve never regretted bringing my snow jacket on every hike I’ve been on, even in the summer. And in case this is new to you, NO COTTON! (this means no jeans, cotton socks, cotton t-shirts, cotton gloves, etc.). In case you’re unsure of how to layer, here’s a photo:

Learn how to eat. I don’t get hungry on the trail as a rule, but every so often the hike takes longer than anticipated and I’m glad I pack food no matter what. While on the trail don’t go for foods that are overly ‘healthy’. During the hike is when you need protein/calories to keep going! Lightweight foods that are high in calories work best. I like to make homemade beef jerky and bring that with me as a snack, along with some dehydrated bananas and peanuts. When hiking long distances remember the weight to calorie ratio: I’d rather bring along and eat two Reese’s Peanut Butter cups than an apple (even though it’s “healthier” the apple weighs a lot and doesn’t give you the calories you need to keep you going).

Hike Early. We’ve all heard to hike early to avoid summer storms, but there are realistically many more reasons to do so than just the stormy and unpredictable summer weather.

You’re generally more rested earlier in the day

In the summer while it’s cold in the morning you’ll warm up fast once you start hiking and it won’t be quite so hot above treeline if you get there earlier in the day.

If something goes wrong you’ll have more time in the daylight to problem solve

You avoid the crowds and actually get a spot at the trailhead to park your vehicle

Colorado sunrises are amazing. Be where you can appreciate them (above or as close to treeline as possible)

If you finish early you’ll have time to celebrate by resting your feet in a stream or head to town for a beer

Making it up is optional, making it down is mandatory. We’ve all heard this phrase dozens of times, but it’s much more difficult to implement than to say. Nothing hurts more than turning back on a summit, but know your abilities, and make a plan before you ever get into that place where you need to make the decision to turn back. This includes time limits (I need to be at my halfway point by x time to summit today) and weather restrictions (if I hear thunder I’m turning back versus if I hear thunder 3 miles away I’m turning back versus if I’m above/below treeline and hear thunder I’m turning back, etc.). If the terrain is above your abilities or you don’t feel comfortable, know to turn back. The mountain will be there tomorrow, next week, and next year. Make sure you’re there to see it.

Easy and close to Denver means crowded. Think Mt Evans, Mt Bierdstadt, Quandry Peak, etc. If it’s a class 1 or 2 and less than 8 miles of hiking distance expect to hike with dozens (if not hundreds) of your favorite hiking buddies no matter what day of the year it is. This means limited parking at the trailhead, crowds, fewer animal sightings, blaring music from someone hiking with speakers, hikers that smell like marijuana, seeing people peeing above treeline and summit photos with people you don’t know in the background. Sometimes the drive away from town is worth it.

The mountain is bigger than it looks, and smaller too. Study your maps and do your research and things will still surprise you. The mountain looks different from far away than it does up close. Sometimes the challenges are bigger than they appear, but often smaller as well. There have been several places that from afar looked impassable, but once I was closer I could see a navigable path. Take the trek one step at a time, and don’t give up or make up your mind until you get there.

If you don’t try you’ll never know. I got this advice from my 14 year old while going back and forth over whether or not to hike on a particular day when all my information was giving me a 50/50 chance of summiting. When in doubt, go. You can always turn back if you need to, but you’ll wonder forever if you never try.

Weather forecasts are wrong, but check them anyway. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve checked and checked and checked the forecast for a particular area only to have it completely different once there. Sometimes this worked out in my favor (anticipated 30+mph winds that never materialized) but often it didn’t (the only cloud in the sky was directly above the peak I intended to hike, and it was filled with ice and wind). On the other hand, it’s nice to know when it’s expected to thunder and lightning all day or if the wind speeds are anticipated to be above 50mph. Knowing there’s a 50% chance of hail at noon helps you to make an informed decision about whether or not to continue your hike when you see clouds forming overhead, or even in determining which hike you should take that day.

If there’s water, there’s ice. Especially when it’s dark, just assume everything wet is really ice and can cause you to slip and fall. Proceed with caution.

Ladies: Never let anyone tell you a tampon is unnecessary weight. Never, ever ever. Altitude does weird things to your body, and those around you as well. You might not need it, but you’d be surprised how often you might just meet someone along the trail who does and make a friend. They don’t weigh enough to outweigh the benefits of having one with you, and they can double as emergency first aid supplies (a quick google search can answer any questions).

Carry a bandana (or two). Seriously, these are lifesavers! There are hundreds of ways to use a bandana, not to mention for blowing your nose, for use instead of toilet paper (this is why I said two), or to immobilize an injured appendage. Ladies, also see note above and infer.

Ladies, learn how to pee above treeline. For guys this is a no-brainer, but for women it can become an issue, as many hikes continue for miles above treeline and if you’re drinking water you’ll need to pee (and there’s no place to hide). Here’s a hint: Find a place to sit and use your jacket to cover your lap. Problem solved!

Learn how to blow your nose without a tissue/bandana/etc. It’s gross, but along with a trusty chapstik will save your nose/upper lip from getting raw (basically you just plug one nostril with your thumb and blow really hard). Also, don’t do this in the company of others (once again, it’s gross).

Bring along a GPS and a topo map: And know how to use them! Social trails abound in popular areas and the real trail can get muddied. A GPS is no good if you don’t know how to use one, and a topo map and compass are as well. Practice before you need them on easier hikes closer to home. They can both really save you if you get lost/stuck on the trail.

Don’t expect an engraved invitation. What this basically means is don’t expect a trailhead sign to indicate where the trail starts, or even signs along the way indicating which direction to take at a junction. While there are many trailheads with amazing signs indicating you’re at the right trailhead and where the trail begins, this is often not the case for 14ers. Several times I’ve parked (in the dark) at the end of the route and supposed beginning of the trailhead, not able to see where the trail actually begins, or even a sign indicating I’m at a trailhead. Often times you’ll come to an area where several trails intersect and there’s no signage. This is where having a GPS comes in handy.

Don’t expect a trail. Unless you’re hiking a class 1, there won’t be a trail to the summit. There will be some route finding involved as well as hiking over rocks (etc.) with no established trail. I’m not sure why this was a surprise to me, but it was in the beginning. For some reason I thought I was owed a trail while hiking, but 14ers are a different game and considered difficult and a challenge for a reason. Learn to use a map and compass and develop some route finding skills.

Sometimes the obvious route is the actual route. One time I was hiking and met several people along the way. We all knew the cutoff for the peak was difficult to find, and somewhere in-between two points. I happened to see a cairn wrapped in pink electric tape, and suggested that was the route to take. Everyone else agreed that was too obvious, and probably there to indicate the mine behind it. Nope, the pink tape indicated the correct trail. GPS was helpful here as well.

Just because they’re close to each other doesn’t mean they’re the same. Each 14er is unique, and just because two 14ers are a couple of miles apart or in the same range or ‘connected’ doesn’t mean their routes are similar. Sure, the views, animals, flowers, and stability of ground will be similar, but look at their class rankings: A 2 class can be very different from a class 3, even in the same range.

Buy a 4WD vehicle with clearance. Extra points if you can sleep in the back. If you’re serious about hiking all 14ers you’re going to need a 4WD with clearance; either that or you’ll need to love hiking an extra 15 miles to get to the trailhead. Many trailheads to 14ers are at the end of serious 4WD roads. If you can’t afford to buy one make friends with someone who has one, or rent one for the weekend.

13er doesn’t mean easier. Think about it, a 13er could be one foot shy from being a 14er and is still referred to as a 13er (13,999). They’re just as difficult, and often more so because they don’t have established trails and aren’t as frequented by other hikers. Don’t judge.

The way the mountain is facing is important for snow/ice reasons. Routes facing the west and south clear of snow and ice much faster than routes facing the east and north due to length of exposure to sun and ability to melt snow and ice. Do your research, know which way your route is facing, and plan appropriately. I’ve hiked mountains where one side of the mountain was completely clear of snow (the side you could see from the road), and as soon as I got to the inside hiking area it was like a snow globe.

Weather changes class. A class 1 hike can easily become a class 2 climb or above in snow. Wind, snow, ice, etc. can drastically change the difficulty of the climb. Know your abilities and be prepared.

Don’t hike to get in shape. Get in shape to hike. The hike will be a lot more enjoyable if you’re physically up to the challenge. Breathing above treeline is a lot different than breathing below it. When you go above treeline, it’s like you can suddenly feel that the air is thinner. You get tired quicker and it’s harder to breathe as well as you do in lower altitude. Being physically fit makes this transition easier. Use the winter months to work out and build up your endurance. You’ll thank yourself for this later.

It hurts just as much not to hike as to hike. Sometimes you need to make the call not to hike, and that has to be ok. Personally, right now, I’m itching to go hiking this weekend, but the weather isn’t cooperating and I’ve already made other plans. I’m a nervous ball of energy that’s struggling to find an outlet, so I’m going to use this weekend to catch up on sleep, and to plan future hikes. Be prepared for times when hiking isn’t possible, and ways to be ‘ok’ with it.

Every hike/peak/summit has a story: Yours. After a while they’ll all run together and you’ll forget things. Write them down as soon as possible after your hike. Take pictures. Talk about your experiences and share your stories. If you don’t, you’ll wish you did…

#hiking #mountaineering #14er #14erchallenge #wildwanderer #summit

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biofunmy · 5 years

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Scientists Discover New Cure for the Deadliest Strain of Tuberculosis

TSAKANE, South Africa — When she joined a trial of new tuberculosis drugs, the dying young woman weighed just 57 pounds.

Stricken with a deadly strain of the disease, she was mortally terrified. Local nurses told her the Johannesburg hospital to which she must be transferred was very far away — and infested with vervet monkeys.

“I cried the whole way in the ambulance,” Tsholofelo Msimango recalled recently. “They said I would live with monkeys and the sisters there were not nice and the food was bad and there was no way I would come back. They told my parents to fix the insurance because I would die.”

Five years later, Ms. Msimango, 25, is now tuberculosis-free. She is healthy at 103 pounds, and has a young son.

The trial she joined was small — it enrolled only 109 patients — but experts are calling the preliminary results groundbreaking. The drug regimen tested on Ms. Msimango has shown a 90 percent success rate against a deadly plague, extensively drug-resistant tuberculosis.

On Wednesday, the Food and Drug Administration effectively endorsed the approach, approving the newest of the three drugs used in the regimen. Usually, the World Health Organization adopts approvals made by the F.D.A. or its European counterpart, meaning the treatment could soon come into use worldwide.

Tuberculosis has now surpassed AIDS as the world’s leading infectious cause of death, and the so-called XDR strain is the ultimate in lethality. It is resistant to all four families of antibiotics typically used to fight the disease.

Only a tiny fraction of the 10 million people infected by TB each year get this type, but very few of them survive it.

There are about 30,000 cases in over 100 countries. Three-quarters of those patients die before they even receive a diagnosis, experts believe, and among those who get typical treatment, the cure rate is only 34 percent.

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The treatment itself is extraordinarily difficult. A typical regimen in South Africa requires up to 40 daily pills, taken for up to two years.

Other countries rely on even older regimens that include daily injections of antibiotics that can have devastating side effects, including deafness, kidney failure and psychosis.

But in the trial Ms. Msimango joined, nicknamed Nix-TB, patients took only five pills a day for six months.

The pills contain just three drugs: pretomanid, bedaquiline and linezolid. (Someday, the whole regimen might come in just one pill, as H.I.V. drugs do, one expert said.)

Until recently, some advocacy groups opposed pretomanid’s approval, saying the drug needed further testing. But other TB experts argued that the situation is so desperate that risks had to be taken.

Dr. Gerald Friedland, one of the discoverers of XDR-TB and now an emeritus professor at Yale’s medical school, called Nix “a wonderful trial” that could revolutionize treatment: “If this works as well as it seems to, we need to do this now.”

A killer appears

News that tuberculosis had evolved a terrifying new strain first broke in 2006, when doctors at a global AIDS conference learned of a doomed group of tuberculosis patients in Tugela Ferry, a rural South African town.

Of the 53 patients in whom the strain had been detected, 52 were dead — most within a month of diagnosis. They were relatively young: The median age was 35.

Many of them had never been treated for TB before, meaning they had caught the drug-resistant strain from others who had been infected and had not developed it by failing to take their drugs. Several were health workers who were assumed to have caught it from patients.

Within months, South Africa realized it had cases of the deadly infection in 40 hospitals. Alarmed, W.H.O. officials called for worldwide testing.

The results showed that 28 countries, including the United States, had the deadly strain, XDR-TB, and that two-thirds of the cases were in China, India and Russia. It took far longer to determine how widespread it was in Africa, because most countries there could not do the sophisticated testing.

H.I.V., the virus that causes AIDS, helped drive the epidemic. Anyone infected with it is 25 times as likely to get TB, according to the W.H.O. But many victims, including Ms. Msimango, catch this type of TB without ever having H.I.V.

In the early years, XDR-TB was a death sentence. Doctors tried every drug they could think of, from those used to treat leprosy to those for urinary tract infections.

“From 2007 to 2014, we threw the kitchen sink at it,’’ said Dr. Francesca Conradie, a researcher at the University of the Witwatersrand, Johannesburg, and director of the Nix trial.

The death rate was about 80 percent. Sometimes the drugs killed patients. In other cases, patients died of the disease, because they could not tolerate the drugs and stopped taking them.

Tuberculosis germs burrow deep into the lungs and barricade themselves inside clumps of dead cells. Breaking those nodules apart and killing all the bacteria inside requires taking drugs for months.

Nearly all antibiotics cause nausea and diarrhea. But some, especially the injections, are far tougher on patients.

“Some get hallucinations,” said Dr. Pauline Howell, a tuberculosis researcher who runs the Nix trial at Sizwe Tropical Diseases Hospital in Johannesburg, where Ms. Msimango was treated. “I had one patient who tried to cut open his skin because he thought bugs were crawling under it.”

The drugs may leave patients in wheelchairs with vertigo, or deaf in just a weekend. Nerves in their feet and hands may wither until they can no longer walk or cook. One of Dr. Howell’s patients suffered so much from ringing in the ears that he tried to commit suicide.

Ms. Msimango, too, veered close to death because the drugs were too much for her.

When she was 19, she said, she caught drug-resistant TB from another young woman — the temporarily homeless daughter of a friend of her mother.

Her mother had generously taken in the young woman and had told her daughter to share her bed, a common arrangement in townships like Tsakane. “A few weeks after she left, I started coughing,” Ms. Msimango said.

“She had not told us that she had drug-resistant TB and had defaulted,” she added, using a common term for dropping out of treatment.

At first, Ms. Msimango got her injections at a hospital and took her pills under her mother’s watchful eye. But they made her feel so awful that she secretly spat them out, stuffing them between the sofa cushions when her mother wasn’t looking.

After she defaulted twice herself, she was transferred to Sizwe, terrified that she would die alone.

No masks, no doctors

Although it lies in South Africa’s largest city, Sizwe does host monkeys, along with feral peacocks and the occasional mongoose. It has long been on the front lines of South Africa’s protracted battle against tuberculosis.

The hospital sits on an isolated hilltop 10 miles from downtown. The British built it in 1895 as Rietfontein Hospital to house victims of contagious diseases like leprosy, smallpox and syphilis.

Gandhi volunteered there during a 1904 bubonic plague outbreak, and Archbishop Desmond Tutu was a tuberculosis patient there in his youth.

In 1996, with the AIDS epidemic raging, the W.H.O. announced that South Africa had the world’s worst tuberculosis epidemic: 350 cases per 100,000 citizens.

That finding shocked the government, which had been using outdated approaches against the disease. Diagnoses were made by X-ray, which are less accurate than sputum tests, and doctors hospitalized every patient.

I visited shortly after the 1996 announcement, and the situation inside Rietfontein was unnerving. In the men’s ward, dozens of TB patients lay on cots only two feet apart; those with drug-resistant strains slept next to patients with the usual type.

No one wore a mask, and no doctor was on duty. At night, the patients shut them and turned up the heat, and the room became a deadly incubator.

A return visit this month showed that far more than the name had changed (Sizwe means “nation” in Zulu).

The former men’s ward is now a mostly empty meeting hall. Patients with TB that is not drug-resistant are treated at home, and even those with partially drug-resistant strains are usually hospitalized only briefly.

The XDR-TB patients rest in a ward atop the hill, and golf carts transport those too weak to walk. Each patient has a separate room and bathroom, hookups for oxygen and lung suction, a TV and big windows and a door to the lawn outside.

The building has a sophisticated ventilation system, but it often breaks down, so the policy is to keep all the doors and windows open as much as possible, said Dr. Rianna Louw, the hospital’s chief executive.

Patients can work in the garden, play pool or foosball, and take classes in sewing, beading or other crafts that might help them earn a living when they get out.

But the months of isolation needed for treatment can be tough. “Our children are scattered, they are falling apart!” a patient who gave her name only as Samantha shouted at a group-therapy session that turned into an airing of grievances.

“The father of my kids is in prison,” she said. “My firstborn son is arrested for robbing people in the street. That would not happen if I was home!”

The counselor interrupted to say: “We understand your frustration. But if we discharge you, we are taking a risk. You are not healthy. You can still expose people to your disease. That’s why you will stay a minimum of four months.”

A rush to approval?

The regimen successfully tested at Sizwe is called BPaL, shorthand for the three drugs it comprises: bedaquiline, pretomanid and linezolid.

The BPaL regimen is “bold, because it’s three killer drugs instead of two killers plus some supportive ones,” Dr. Howell said.

Most regimens, she explained, rely on two harsh drugs that can destroy bacterial walls and include others that have fewer side effects but only stop TB bacteria from multiplying.

But even the new treatment poses hazards.

Short-term use of linezolid against severe hospital infections causes few problems, but use for many weeks against TB can kill nerves in the feet, making it hard to walk, or can suppress the bone marrow where blood cells are made. (To find the ideal linezolid dose, the Nix investigators have started a new trial, ZeNix.)

The F.D.A. approved bedaquiline in 2012 for use against multi-drug resistant TB (the XDR strain is an even deadlier subset), and in 2015 the W.H.O. followed suit. Until Wednesday, pretomanid was in dispute, although in June an F.D.A. advisory committee voted 14 to 4 to approve it.

Some advocacy groups argued at the time that the drug had been too little tested.

“Pretomanid looks like a promising drug, but it’s being rushed forward, and we don’t want to see the F.D.A. lower the bar for approval,” Lindsay McKenna, co-director of the tuberculosis project at the Treatment Action Group, an advocacy organization, said in July.

Her organization and others had asked the F.D.A. to first demand more rigorous testing of the drug.

Pretomanid is not owned by a drug company but by the TB Alliance, a nonprofit based in New York that is seeking new treatments.

Dr. Mel Spigelman, the alliance’s president, had argued that a full clinical trial would be both impractical and unethical.

“Put yourself in a patient’s position,” he said. “Offered a choice between three drugs with a 90 percent cure rate, and 20 or more with less chance of cure — who would consent to randomization?”

Such a trial would cost $30 million and take five more years, he added: “That’s a very poor use of scarce resources.”

‘There is no survival here’

Innocent Makamu, 32, was facing two years in the hospital when he chose to join the Nix trial in 2017.

Like Ms. Msimango, he also had caught drug-resistant TB from a roommate. A plumber, he had shared a room at a distant construction site with a carpenter.

“He was too much on the bottle,” Mr. Makamu said. “He kept defaulting.”

Soon afterward, he began feeling tired and lost his appetite. Doctors at the hospital near his home diagnosed tuberculosis, and put him on 29 daily pills and a daily injection.

“It was deep in my bum,” he said. “I couldn’t sit properly. It hurt every day.”

At the hospital, he watched two other inpatients wither and die because they could not stick to the regimen. “I thought, ‘Oh, there is no survival here.’”

Then further tests showed that he had full-blown XDR-TB. He was transferred to Sizwe and offered a spot in the Nix trial.

Some patients there who were on the standard 40-pill regimens discouraged him. “They said, ‘They are using you as guinea pigs,’” he said. “Even the nurses thought that.”

But he found the possibility of taking only five pills for six months very tempting, and so he volunteered. Within a month, he could tell it was working.

“Then the patients who called us ‘guinea pigs’ — they wished they had taken the research pills,” he said.

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