#and i realized wow. that’s a horrific way to treat your friend/partner. i want nothing to do with this man.

[scoreplings]

every time i listen to pink in the night by mitski i think about how my ex said that song was how he felt about me. about a month not even before he left me for our mutual friend (that i had specifically asked him not to pursue because it would hurt me a lot)

#well im full of it he didn’t ‘leave me’ he informed me they were dating and i said fuck that lmfao #took me like a week. i started crying and he kicked me out of his house and didnt speak to me for a week #and i realized wow. that’s a horrific way to treat your friend/partner. i want nothing to do with this man. #i do miss him sometimes still though. he said things that were so romantic all the time. he was so good at getting me to believe i was his #whole world even if he never treated me like it. #and we were close for 10+ years so he understood me so much better than anyone else in my life. #like LOVE my current bf sooo so much genuinely going to make this man my wife or smth. #but he doesn’t know me on the level that eli did. he loves me and treats me so much better. but sometimes i miss being understood that way. #even if he used it to manipulate me. it was nice to be known. #anyway it sucks that was one of my favorite songs and now i hear #‘i could stare at your back all dayyy’ and want to throw up. #‘i know ive kissed you before but i didnt do it right can i try again try again try again’ fuck man. fuck.