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#and i owe so much to taxes but i can't exactly afford getting less of my pay......
slippery-minghus
·
28 days
Text
oh no. i feel like if i do not consume an entire load of bread in the very near future i will simply cease to exist.
#very uh. very worried about my finances right now
#like. i'm fine. i have some savings. but i also just got to put something into my savings for the first time in a VERY long time and now
#now i immediately have to take it out
#and i'm getting stressed out about buying groceries
#because if i dip into my savings here what about there? where is the line?
#and i owe so much to taxes but i can't exactly afford getting less of my pay......
#my last paycheck was $0.66 more than my rent
#my insurance is refusing to reimburse the last of my electrolysis visits from last year and like
#i'm SO over the fight but that's $120. that i really actually kinda need?
#and i'm starting to get that funny in the head feeling about wondering how i'm going to feed myself
#i still feel so much shame about that funeral i went to years ago and my only thought during the reception after was about
#how there was just so much food and i could actually eat my fill
#i have leftovers for dinner tonight and it's fine but.... making a lovely vegan dish wasn't the best choice tbh
#i feel like if i don't have a large helping of bread and meat i'm going to go insane
#and it really REALLY doesn't help that i've apparently lost the ability to eat in the mornings
#so i'm at quite a significant fuel deficit and it's stacking
#but no matter how hungry i am in the morning the concept of processing solid food is just repulsive and daunting
#eating a clif bar at 9am would take literally all of my spoons for the day
#i was looking at protein shakes since i can handles *drinking* breakfast
#but the cheapest one that meets my dietary requirements is $35 for a 12pack
#and i'm uh. i'm worrying over spending $10 on produce this week
#personal
#and nevermind that i don't have the spoons to even GO shopping (:
#(on an aside i switched back to my regular melatonin gummies last night and i Actually Slept. so hopefully that will continue and help some)
#i just want to curl up in a ball on the floor and have someone gently place a roll of bread and hunk of cheese next to me in my enclosure
#also it's photophobia season and i still feel like i haven't recovered from saturday
#got too much sunlight and was nauseaus for half the day
#my body feels so bad
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