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thebestestboyo · 4 years

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How Remus Started Working For Patton: Part Four

Tw: Remus being Remus/Swearing/mention of snakes but only for a moment

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"Wow, I expected an old warehouse, or perhaps even a shady bar. This is... hilarious." The remark didn't come from Remus, no, this time it came from Virgil.

The group had stopped outside of a quaint-looking bakery, the shimmery blue and yellow sign reading 'Down With The Pastryarchy.' Virg was right though, it didn't seem to fit the vibe of 'gangster.' At least not to Remus. It was cute though! As in how a poison dart frog was cute before you realized it could kill you!

"First of all, warehouse?? Who would set up there? That's just irresponsible! How would you even heat such a large area?? Secondly, have you been inside one? Its just so loud!" Dee stepped inside, letting the others follow.

"For your information, I have been inside a bar. Probably for different reasons than you, ya overgrown garden snake."

"Excuse me! I'm not always up to no good!"

"The news would say differently."

"Society has never portrayed those who work outside its crippling boundaries as good. As you probably don't know Mr. Gloom Sky."

Pat butted into the tussle, wagging a finger at both of the men. "Now now, there's no need to be throwing names around. Its not very sweet of you two."

Those in question turned to look at him, this bubble of sunshine, and at least had some decency to look ashamed. Virgil could at least understand why Demetrius had warned that Patton was a force to be reckoned with.

Remus in the meantime, was laughing. Wait. Why was he laughing???

"That was a good pun. You know, considering the setting?"

Smiling up at him, Pat squeezed his cheek playfully. "I didn't think you'd catch that!"

"Well, I had to cake a chance! It clearly paid off," God Patton was cute. Remus was about to rattle off several more puns before Virgil elbowed his side, cutting him off.

"Less flirting, more getting to the point."

Blushing furiously, Remus swatted at Virgil, both for elbowing him and eluding to potential romantic feelings between him and Patton. Seriously, not everything he said to Pat was flirting!

Ok he was kinda flirting.

Just a little though! He wasn't about to rush anything! Especially when he hadn't asked Patton how he felt on the anatomies of several creatures, and the different ways in which you could steal someone's eye! How would he know if Patton was good for him until then?

For the umpteenth time that morning, Remus's thoughts were cut off, this particular time by Dee. Butts on a fish, he needed to chose a different time for his internal monologues.

"Come then if you're so desperate to find out. The entrance is this way."

Opening a door labeled 'employees only,' he seemed to...descend? Wait what?

A sudden grip on his arm was the only warning before Pat pulled him and Virgil in after, giggling. "You guys will love it! We worked so hard on it!"

"I find that hard to believe..."

This time it was Remus who elbowed Virgil, afraid of him upsetting Patton. "I'm sure it will be great Pat Pie!"

Virg groaned at yet another pun, but let the two of them be dragged down the stairs. It was surprising how they managed to fit this spiral staircase so seamlessly into the bakery, no surprise why someone hadn't found out their base yet. It was hiding in plain sight as far as anyone could tell.

Dee, further up ahead, called back to them, his voice echoing from the tall ceiling needed to fit in the staircase. "Pat, remember the trick step. They don't know about it."

"Oh! Right. Guys, hop over this next one ok?"

"Why would we need to-" Virgil made his mistake of not heeding Dee's warning, being thrown back by the step sliding out from beneath him. "Motherfu-"

"-By the sounds of idiocy I assume he didn't listen." Dee turned back to them, clearly hiding a smile as Remus supported Virgil, only to have the step beneath HIM slide into the wall as well. Before Virgil could snap back at him, all the steps were pushed back into the wall, resulting in all three of them falling the short distance to the ground.

"Oh I like this." Chuckling, Remus helped Patton to his feet with a flourish, before pulling up Virgil as well.

"This is some tomb raider bullshit, I'm calling it out right now."

His smirk all too clear on his face, Dee gestured to a lever right next to where the stairs had been. "No, tomb raider bullshit as you so eloquently call it, would be this lever sending you into a pit of snakes."

Eyes wide, Remus could hardly contain his delight at the prospect. "Does it send us into a pit of snakes??"

"Unfortunately, no. Just into a pit. Snakes wouldn't live well down there, there's no source of food or heat for them to thermoregulate their body temperatures."

Patton turned to face him, voice full of concern as he reached for Remus's hand again. "Plus, what if we fell on them! The poor snakes might get hurt!"

"You are right...but think about how cool it would be!"

"But snakes!"

"Ok, what about...a tank full of jellyfish? They'd have water and the water would stop the jellyfish from getting hurt!" Remus was surprised that Patton so easily took his hand, but it made him feel all fuzzy inside, the good kind. It was very unlike when you got a mouth full of raccoon fur.

Don't...don't ask.

As the two debated the moral complications of jellyfish compared to snakes and eventually to electric eels, Virgil deadlocked his gaze on Demetrius. If glaring could kill, he would have been dead where he stood. Unluckily for Virgil, he just smirked back at him in turn, continuing to lead the group to wherever they seemed to be going. At this point, he couldn't tell.

God what he would do to wipe that stupid look off of his face. It was unfair. He couldn't be hot AND evil! That was just cruel!

And he still had his stupid jacket off, showing his stupid muscular arms, and his stupid face with it's stupid grin was just making the situation worse, and it was all STUPID.

"Take a picture punk. It'll last longer."

"I'm just waiting for you to finally show us this place you've been droning of for the past thirty minutes. It feels like I've been forced to follow you for hours already."

"Don't worry Dark and Stormy, we're already here."

With that, he opened a door into one of the biggest rooms they'd ever seen. Wasn't this underground?? How did it have such a high ceiling?

And it was filled with people who Virgil would normally avoid. They all had that look about them, like if you looked at them wrong, they'd fuck you up. These were the king of people Remus tended to piss off when he was drunk and made everyone in the nearby vicinity regret him doing so.

"We're back you punks!" Dee called out to the group, smiling? Of course he was smiling. He was a gangster.

"Hey welcome back boss! And hello Patton!"

"Who are these two?"

"Where ya been? Normally you're not out so early!"

"These guys new members?"

Honestly it was kinda a lot for Virgil. Remus on the other hand was thrilled about this. They all had something chaotic about them! One of them had a sword??? Who the fuck fights with a sword!? Another was carrying what looked like a jar of live bees? Remus didn't know!!!

"These are visitors. Don't rough them up too much. Patty likes them."

"Dee!" Pat's cheeks tinted pink, clearly embarrassed at being called out. He didn't let go of Remus's hand though like he thought he would, instead tucking himself into Ree's side. Holy fuck. He was using Remus to hide in?? That was a first for him.

"Sorry, this is Patton's...friend, and the friend of Patton's friend." Cheekily, he and Pat exchanged a glance that Ree was too slow to interpret. But it made Pat's face turn even more red, so Remus assumed it was an inside joke or something.

Virgil in the meantime seemed thrown off by how domestic the inside of the base seemed, and being honest, he couldn't blame him. They both assumed it was much less...pleasant? Was that the word? No, there had to be more more suitable for this odd situation....

Calm! It was calm. God Patton was making him feel dizzy from all the sudden affection or something, usually he was better at this!

Remus looked down at the smaller man now cuddling into his side, sighing softly and unclasping their hands to set the overcoat he had brought with him around his shoulders. "You cold or something Pat?" He was ignoring Dee's comment from before, as it clearly was rubbing Patton the wrong way.

"Oh! Um, yes, a little! Thank you." Both of them played into the white lie, brushing it off to make him feel more comfortable. But perhaps Patton wasn't hiding in Remus just from the embarrassment...

Virgil cleared his throat from behind them, reminding the two that Dee had been waiting for them still.

Pat still kept the coat around his shoulders nevertheless, as they all packed into Dee's office.

"So. Remus."

"And me." Virgil interjected, sitting on the arm of couch that faced Dee's desk.

"And Virgil. You're probably confused as to why I made Remus a member of the gang."

"Uh yeah dimwit, you really had to drag us this far just to tell us this?"

Pat frowned at him, going over to sit on the desk near Dee. "That's not particularly nice of you to say."

"Sorry Patton. But I'm serious. This could have gone a lot faster." Virg couldn't believe himself. He was apologizing to the co-leader of a gang?? Just because he gave off disappointed dad vibes did not mean that he was completely trustworthy.

"I thought it best to reveal my hand, so to speak. You do know that telling the authorities about us would be unwise, due to the vast amount of resources we have. It would be a pain to have to move locations and change identities after we've set up shop here."

"So...this is a threat."

"Not necessarily. It's an invitation. For Remus specifically. He doesn't have to participate in our business, I just thought he'd appreciate being able to freely talk with Patton, and being part of our association helps with that."

Remus was...a tad shocked at this news. He was put into a gang...to be able to flirt cause havoc with Patton?

As if he could read his thoughts, Dee waved a hand dismissively. "While normally this doesn't happen, I decided to make it an exception. Originally, you, Virgil, weren't a part of the plan, but as you are Remus's roommate, I wanted to cover my bases."

"Don't tell me you're gonna pierce my ear as well."

"I doubt I could even try without losing a finger. The only reason I did it to Remus was because I was in a hurry."

Pat swung his legs gently as they talked, looking over at Ree for his reaction. It was, intrigued to say the least, Remus seemed to be pretty open to most things. Was that a strength or a downfall of his? Patton couldn't tell. But he did enjoy the coat around his shoulders, smiling to himself as he tucked into it.

Maybe this one would work?

And maybe he'd make a new friend as well! Virgil seemed nice, if not a bit guarded. He supposed that was to be expected, it's not every day that you get told your friend (best friend?) is now a member of a gang that controls half the city.

The words between his brother and Virgil grew muddled, as Patton daydreamed what this meant. It was a little shocking for him to find Remus calling his attention, snapping his fingers from the spot he had taken next to Virgil.

It was enough to get Patton back into reality, and to hear that Dee was asking him a question. "Pat were you listening? I asked what you thought about Virgil being allowed in as well."

"Oh! Sorry Dee Dee, just caught up in some thoughts! Sure Virgil can come in, maybe he can try some of your baked goods!"

Pat had seen the way his brother kept looking at Virg, so he thought he'd...well, help him out a little. Even if it resulted currently in an embarrassed Dee in the meantime. Sorry!

"Wait were you the one to come up with the idea of having your super bad gang cover being a pastry shop??" Virgil grinned mischievously at this new information, and Patton could tell that it lessened the stigma about Dee, at least a little bit.

"Not completely! I just thought it might be a good cover, and Pat had already come up with the name! What was I supposed to do???"

"That's rich! The snake in the grass bakes?"

"Wha- no!!!"

Glancing back over to Remus, Pat was delighted to find him cackling at the chaos Pat had created.

Perhaps this would become their new normal? If it did, Pat definitely wouldn't mind.

-Just an author's note-

Sorry it took so long to finally get to this point! I wasn't expecting the buildup to last four chapters 😅There will certainly be more backstory and action as I write this, so I apologise for how slow it is

Thanks for sticking around through it though! I really appreciate it

#sanders sides #deceit sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #remus being remus #gang au #intruality #potential anxciet?#anxciet

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eggoreviews · 6 years

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My 10 Most Wanted Smash Ultimate Characters

Like a lot of people, I am very excited for the new Smash game and I reverted to a child when E3 came around and we finally got Ridley. I'm relatively new to the whole fighting game thing (I only bought a copy of Smash 4 last year as my first Smash game so kill me I guess) and that's probably going to show in this obligatory want list but here are my ten picks for if I could haphazardly choose who's getting to punch Mario this time around. By the way, this list is in priority order so my number 1 pick is who I want the most!

P.S I know we're only getting a few more characters if any so obviously not all ten are going to make it in. In fact, chances are none of them will. But I can dream, okay?

10. Captain Toad

I mean, look at this little guy! You can't tell me you don't want to play as him (I only just got a switch and the upcoming Captain Toad game is admittedly where my excitement is right now). While I guess I agree that the Mario series is a bit over-presented in Smash Bros, the fact that a version of Toad is finally getting his own game seems like high time that Toad became more than Peach's punching bag. His moveset would be probably be simple enough, considering how central he is during his game on the Wii U, so I guess they could just import a similar moveset over to Smash. Honestly, I know very little about Captain Toad, apart from the fact that he’s cute and likely to be in it. A Toadette palette swap/echo fighter definitely wouldn’t go amiss either.

9. Spyro

This one seems a bit less likely, but I’m aware that Nintendo and Activision are on good terms (see my number 5 pick) and it’s possible we might see the new Spyro remaster make its way onto the Switch in future, which definitely increases his chances. I don’t have a hell of an attachment to Spyro as I only played one game (very briefly), but he’s on this list generally because he looks cool and I feel like he’s an iconic third party staple that is born to be a smash addition. Again, his moveset could be ripped right from his games, his final smash could be something fire related because, you know, he’s a dragon. Before we continue, I’m fully aware that the vast majority of this list is third party and it’s definitely not realistic that we’ll get any of these characters at all. But hey, the further you get down on this list, the more you’ll understand that realism isn’t really what I was going for on this list.

8. Sora (Kingdom Hearts)

Again, fully aware that KH3 hasn’t been confirmed for Switch. But Kingdom Hearts II was a pretty big part of my childhood back in the PS2 days, so I feel like Sora’s spot on the list is more a favour to my inner child. Plus, Kingdom Hearts is a product of the same team as Final Fantasy and Cloud got in, so hey anything can happen! What makes Sora especially unlikely in my mind is that he’d basically function like any of the Fire Emblem characters (which we really do not need any more of), except with a key. Still though, cool laser final smash with the keyblade? With Donald and Goofy? Okay maybe not that, I imagine that’d be a nightmare to sort out in terms of rights.

7. Lara Croft (Tomb Raider)

If Snake deserves to be slotted back in, I feel like Lara Croft fits perfectly in the roster at this point. The inclusion of Lara would be a huge selling point for the game considering how iconic she is and, much like most of my other picks, probably wouldn’t have a particularly complicated moveset. Maybe a mixture between the bow she has pictured above and short range knife could make her an extremely balanced character, akin to Link. This would be a very exciting third party reveal if it happened.

6. Black Mage (Final Fantasy)

Here’s my wildcard pick. Arguably the most unlikely in my list bar one (you’ll see), this one made it into my top 10 because of the fact that this little guy has also made its way into several games I played in my childhood; the Chocobo Tales game I had for the DS as well as (again) Kingdom Hearts II. I’m not at all familiar with the Final Fantasy franchise, in fact I’ve only really heard of Cloud and Sephiroth (who was very nearly considered for this list) because of their appearances in Kingdom Hearts. And another thing, I have very little idea what his moveset would be but I figured no one was really talking about this little dude and if none of my wanted characters are likely to make it in, might as well make ‘em weird.

5. Crash Bandicoot

Here we go. The one that almost everyone wants. The Crash N Sane Trilogy is coming to Switch and, as I mentioned, Activision are pretty pally with Nintendo right now so this is looking more likely than ever. Admittedly, the only Crash game I ever played was Crash of the Titans on the PS2, which I loved to bits at the time. So while my experience with Crash was likely not the same as everyone else’s, he’s another character with a moveset already implemented and I’d say he’s probably the most likely out of the third party big bois.

4. Shovel Knight

He’s an indie sensation on multiple platforms. He’s a unique and interesting character with a great moveset potential. He even has his own frickin amiibo, this guy was born for a smash inclusion. With Bomberman’s absence, I think that Smash Ultimate is missing a genuinely popular new indie contender. I think that Shovel Knight more than covers this ground, and I reckon Sakurai knows it too. If anyone on this list is getting added, it’ll probably be Shovel Knight and that’s very exciting.

3. Waluigi

Okay, okay, I know. Let the memes die, right? But just hear me out on this one. I’m a Waluigi stan, I won’t lie to you, I’m not proud of it but I love this weird purple egg and that’s just the way the world works. I’ve heard a theory, one that you’ve likely heard too, that suggests (loosely) that Waluigi is still in with a chance of a Smash addition:

They spent a whole lot of time during that E3 presentation specifically highlighting the fact that Waluigi is an assist trophy, even using him as an example for the fact that trophies can be K.O’d now to really drive home the fact that you ain’t getting your purple meme content this time around

During the whole of E3, including all the Treehouse gameplay and the Invitational, there has been no sighting of Waluigi in the game. Obviously, could just be because it’s a demo and we know not everything has been added yet. But still, them leaving out the most heavily focused assist trophy? Seems fishy to me (BTW, I got this info from Alpharad the youtuber, so check out his channel for a better explained version of this)

Daisy was announced. DAISY was announced. I’m not saying Daisy is a bad addition, but there is a lot less hype around her. The fact that Waluigi was explicitly deconfirmed and Daisy ended up as one of only two new E3 character announcements? Doesn’t add up. Could literally just be because it was really easy to include her as an echo fighter compared to giving Waluigi a whole new character, but you know. I love me a conspiracy theory.

So there you have it. I’m holding out a tiny bit of hope that all of this is setting up the biggest gaming bamboozle in history. But come on, they’re bringing everyone back, either way we’ve got to be happy. (Sidenote: I’ve heard people are harassing Sakurai over Twitter because of this. That’s horrible and immature. Pls stop thanks)

2. Sans

Yeah, I know. Told you realism was going out the window. I have decided to dutifully ignore how massively toxic the Undertale fandom is and hope that Sakurai sees the potential of including a character from this still amazing game. An Undertale switch port is rumoured and I’m pretty damn sure Toby Fox would be onboard for Undertale appearing in Smash, but I know this is basically impossible. What would his moveset be? How would he be animated? It’s cool, Sans is punching Yoshi and Bayonetta in my dreams.

I’m a WatchMojo stan so, before I vomit my number 1 pick on you, here’s a few hONORABLE MENTIONS:

King K. Rool (Donkey Kong)

Linkle (Legend of Zelda)

Banjo Kazooie

Cuphead (Again, impossible I know)

1. Rayman

Considering how iconic this guy is and how close Ubisoft and Nintendo are now (Mario x Rabbids anyone?), it looks as if it’s time for Rayman. On top of that, Rayman had a trophy presence in Smash 4, so we know Sakurai has considered him. His moveset makes itself so he would be a brilliant third party add and, considering that Rayman Legends is one of my all time favourite games, there’s no contest here as to who’s top of my list.

Well, there you have it. Feel free to crap all over me anonymously about my lack of knowledge/differing opinions. Or, if you like, send me your wants/predictions for character adds and we can have a cool lil discussion about it because we now have six months to wait so we have to fill the time with something.

Maybe next time I’ll do wanted echo fighters. We’ll see. Have a good one!

#gaming #super smash bros #super smash ultimate #super smash switch #smash bros ultimate #smash ultimate #prediction #top 10 #nintendo #switch #nintendo switch

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