Tumgik
#and i always speak very softly and try to come off as friendly and nonthreatening
moodr1ng · 2 months
Text
ive been working these past few months on trying to like.. every time im in a good enough mood and i go outside i try to notice whenever i see someone who has like a beautiful face or great hair or a great look and i briefly stop them and give them a compliment right, i feel like its one way i can do a little bit of good for other peoples days and it helps me practice social skills and be less paranoid about other people. its always went well but one person today seemed clearly annoyed and just said "thanks" in this like, frustrated tone (felt like she was verbally rolling her eyes) and now im :( .. its dumb to focus on that bc she prob was just having a bad day or thought i was trying to hustle her or whatever, and i complimented like 10 other people who were all happy and smiled and all so it shouldnt matter, but now im just going to focus on the one time it went poorly and feel insecure lol. anyway something wrong w me
#97#i understand that as i look like a guy its bound to happen that a woman would eventually not like it#but i do my absolute best to not come off like some guy hitting on them (having had the experience enough to know how they come off)#i always politely say “hi excuse me you have a very beautiful face have a good day” and keep walking#so that its clear im not expecting to start a conversation#and i always speak very softly and try to come off as friendly and nonthreatening#but i understand that no matter what if im not looking Very Clearly GNC (hence assumed to be gay) it might still come off that way#but now i feel bad ig#idk maybe i need to figure out more codes#im thinking maybe its bc we were in a somewhat empty street and it mightve set off some instincts#so ig if i compliment women i should try to only do it if were in a more populated street?#or maybe i just shouldnt compliment women at all unless i look gay that day#but maybe im overthinking it and she just had other shit on her mind and it was simply a bad time#its so so stupid i keep replaying it in my head and beating myself up over it and it was a 5 second interaction#meanwhile i had like a dozen other successful interactions why cant i just focus on that#i shouldnt have complimented her face.. it doesnt come off as hitting on someone if you compliment the outfit or hair#but she did have a beautiful face :( one of those faces from classical portraits yknow?#im overthinking this minute interaction i think. its fine ill be fine its ok.... etc
1 note · View note
Note
“No! Don’t leave! I’ll die without you!” Very desperate Hanzo, Genji, Prefall Gabe and Orisa hc where captors are scrambling to get reader to not break up with them after blowing their cover as yandere? (Ie killing potential suitors behind back, etc?)
Hanzo was always taught to be discreet, neat, and quick. He was all of those with each and every life he took be it an animal or human. He did everything he was taught- everything right, so why were you here? You had no reason to be here and he gave no indication of what he was going to do once he excused himself from your side. Your eyes grew wide at the sight of your ex dead in the alleyway in which you unknowingly walked into your boyfriend doing the unimaginable. You fervently glanced at the arrow sticking out of his chest cavity and the surprised expression Hanzo was giving you. You take a step back as he reaches his hand out to you; scared. 
“Wait,” He says as firmly as he can, “Let me explain, 私の愛.”
“I didn’t see- I didn’t see you do anything. I-I won’t tell anyone and-” You fumble over your words, speaking too fast for the either of you to comprehend. 
Your boyfriend takes hold of your hand causing you to flinch. He frowns at this but doesn’t let go, “Allow me to explain.”
“Explain what? That- that you killed him? My ex? For what?” You sputter at the audacity he had to try and explain what didn’t need explaining. You know what he did when he was still the heir to the Shimada clan but he told you, he promised you, that he was no longer affiliated with the clan and those days were far behind him.
“He was trying to intervene in our relationship,” Hanzo begins lowly, “Did you think why he would suddenly want to come back in your life? Because he wants what is mine and that i can not allow that. Ever.”
“Hanzo,” You choke out a sob and try to pull back your hand to no avail, his hand gripped onto yours like a vice, “Let me go…”
“Please, calm down-”
“Let me go!” You shriek and he clasps his other hand over your mouth. You struggle against him as hard as you can but it’s no use. His strength was far superior to yours and you stood no chance, “I can’t love a killer!” You hiss through his palm and he freezes.
“What,” He licks his dry lips and slowly removes his hand from your mouth, “What are you saying?”
You swallow a lump in your throat but press on, “If you let me go, i won’t go to the police- I won’t tell anyone about what happened so-”
“What about us?” His voice shakes but his brows remained furrowed.
“There is no us anymore.” You say softly. It didn’t occur to you that he might kill you too, it never crossed your mind, but if it had you knew he wouldn’t, “So just let me go, okay? I promise I won’t say a word to anyone.” 
You glance once more at the dead corpse but hold your breath. Hanzo’s lip quivers as he processes what you’re saying. “No,” He says lowly, “No! Don’t leave me! I will die without you!”
He grabs you by the shoulders firmly and you can’t help but gasp at his sudden roughness, “Hanzo, stop.”
“Please,” He begs in a voice you’ve never heard before. His desperation sounded like that of a wounded animal. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, “You are all I have.”
Genji tried very hard to keep himself in check at all times and usually it didn’t take more effort than blinking but tonight was different, very different. Your new neighbor was getting awfully friendly with you both when he was and wasn’t there. On numerous occasions you’ve assured him it was nothing and that your neighbor was just being friendly. For awhile it kept him at bay and he did his best to ignore it. But when your neighbor suddenly starts flirting with you in front of him he’s had enough. 
Genji stands inbetween the two of you and stares the other down with a look even you were unfamiliar with. It reminded you of that of a predator. He and your neighbor just looked at one another eye to eye for several moments before the latter scoffed and rolled their eyes. 
“What’re you doing?” They raised a brow, crossing their arms. 
“I could ask you the same.” Is all he says as he takes a step forward. Your neighbor doesn’t back up. 
“Look, man-” They sneer but Genji swiftly cuts them off. 
“You look,” He utters sternly, “I know you’re new here and in search of new friends but my s/o doesn’t need new friends.”
“Excuse you?” They scoff at his audacity. They jab a finger at his chest and open their mouth to speak but only an abrupt scream fills the room. You gasp in horror at your boyfriend breaking your neighbor’s finger. 
“You seem nice,” Genji points out his observation before his voice turns dark, “I’d hate to kill you.”
You spew an unbelievable amount of apologies to your neighbor before calling the paramedics. To avoid trouble you swiftly lead Genji into your home, slamming the door behind you 
“What the hell was that?!” You scream at him and he jolts in surprise as if he didn’t expect you to be upset. 
“They were trying-” Genji tries to defend himself but you scoff and cut him off before he has a chance to do so. 
“They weren’t trying to do anything!” You shout, glaring at the man, “You broke his finger, Genji! For no reason! Since when did you suddenly have random bursts of violence, huh? Because that is not the man I fell in love with.”
He holds his hand out to you for reconciliation but you slap it away, glaring at him. You felt absolutely disgusted with how he was acting and did not want to indulge him in any piss-poor apology he was going to give you. 
“Please, sweet flower, just give me a chance.” He voice was soft and nonthreatening, exactly the opposite of what it was just a few moments ago. Somehow you felt you couldn’t let your guard down. 
“No,” You cross your arms across your chest, “I think you should leave.”
He gives you a questioning look but doesn’t make a move, “Flower?”
Turning around you yanked the door open and pointed out the door, “Leave.” 
Tears start to well within his eyes, “No, please,” He falls to his knees, wrapping his arms around your waist as he presses his face against your lower abdomen with a sob, “Don’t leave me. I’ll die without you…”
“No! Don’t leave! I’ll die without you!” Gabriel shouts after you as he chases you down the corridor. Your heart was racing with tears streaming down your cheeks as you ran as fast as your legs could carry you, “Wait!”
You didn’t mean to see it- see him doing that. You knew he was in Blackwatch, and despite the rumors you did your damnedest not to believe them, but you didn’t know he would kill one of your closest friends. No matter how many times you told him, promised him, he was just a friend he didn’t believe you. Why couldn’t he trust you? What was he so paranoid of? He had your love, he knew that, so what did he have to take someone so very important away from you? So many questions flew through your mind with too little answers. 
You let out a cry when Gabriel finally caught up to you and pinned you to the cold, hard floor. You didn’t bother to struggle against him as his hands bruised your wrists. He kisses the back of your head, whispering an apology. You wanted nothing more than to sink into the floor right then and there and just disappear. 
“Mi amor, mi amor,” His breathing is labored when he intertwines his fingers with yours, “He wasn’t a good man.” 
“Why would you say that? He was my closest friend.” You choke out a sob, turning your face to avoid his kisses. 
“It’s because he was so close to you,” He explains, tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear, “He can’t love you like I love you. We’re close, we’re in love. Don’t forget that, bello, we’re in love and I am all that you need, okay? You’re all that I need, mi amor.” 
He kept repeating this like a broken mantra as you lied pinned beneath him, crying silently. 
Efi was still in the process of programming Orisa’s knowledge of fundamental laws. She knew the basics such as jaywalking, running a red light, stealing, and so forth. What she didn’t know, or rather she didn’t know better, was that one couldn’t just push someone into a nearby well because she felt…what did she feel? She was unsure but whatever it was it made her upset. Distressed. Jealous.
By the time they found him he was already dead. He died due to internal bleeding, Orisa explained to you as you shook in fear. You witnessed her push the man into the well. She had to explain but you just would not listen to her. She didn’t know what to do so she brought you back to your home, carrying you kicking and screaming. It certainly caused quite the sight in public but the citizens of Numbani were used to Efi’s new project by now and didn’t think much of it aside from a slight inconvenience. 
“Please understand that my program in regards to civilian behavior may be malfunctioning.” Is the best she can come up with when she doesn’t even know why she did what she did. 
“Orisa, you killed someone. Do you know what that means?” You bellow. She pauses for a long while, unable to form a response, “I can’t handle this- I’m- I’m leaving for a bit.” 
“No!” Orisa suddenly turns gold defensively, “Do not leave! I fear I will malfunction once more without you.”
238 notes · View notes