#and i DONT want to lose steam w this fandom i REALLY dont and i wanna keep it w me for as long as possible | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

princeanxious · 8 months

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Hi! I was wondering about your Lost Guardian au from ages ago, do you think you’ll ever plan on updating it and if not, could someone else take up the fic?

So heres the thing. If someone wants to write a fic *inspired* by The Lost Guardian, i’m not gonna stop them, and i’d probably feel super honored so long as the inspiration was correctly credited!

As for ‘taking up the fic,’ the short answer is no.

I have active drafts and the rest of the story already planned out to its finish, notes, even a branch-off fic set post-story that will likely go up on my nsfw blog if i ever get around to editing it. The Lost Guardian hasn’t been abandoned, it’s simply on hiatus. (And yes, i recognize 3 almost 4 years so far is a really fucking long hiatus. The Chapter 9 draft doc was made in december of 2020, and last edited in July 2022)

I started writing that fic whilst still in highschool, a time where I was 17 and didnt have to worry yet about getting my license or maintaining a part time job, i had an over abundance of freetime even partially to my detriment, the fandom was booming and I had plenty of feedback, and this fic was (and still *is*) a story im proud of.

But i’m 22 now, working a full time job to pay rent and account for a number of minor ‘disabilities’(best word i have for them atm) that I cant ignore or push to the side nor treat poorly, from the lasting effects on my body of stunted growth to celiac/glutent intolerance to adhere to that directly determines how easily my body functions for the week, to dealing with glasses i cannot afford to break and taking care of teeth i cannot afford to fix, taking care of my mental health and using the free time i have to do what brings me the most joy at that time.

The sanders sides fandom has heavily quieted down with the season finale hiatus and I’d like to think I did pretty well for going six long years dedicated solely to that without cracking under the silence, because *I knew* when I caved to something else it’d be a long while before I had the drive to come back with any sort of resolution to my active works. Thats just how my hyper fixations work. I cannot focus on multiple at once, it’s too much to process simultaneously and takes away my enjoyment bc I tend to watch/consume things repeatedly to catch every little detail i missed. And it doesn’t help when one loses steam because their content barely breaks 100 notes(80% of which are likes, 15% are reblogs with the occasional comment, and 5% are self-reblogs) when back in the height of it all, a few thousand notes was pretty average interaction. This blog still has about 11.5k followers, almost all of which came from the height of the fandom period. So for now i’ve moved onto the FNAF DCA fandom, bc it is fresh and new to me.

I know you didn’t mean to poke the bear here, I get it, but like.. C’mon. Any other fic of mine likely wouldn’t have gotten the same reaction in full but, still. I’ve had to answer this question a handful of times over the years at the point, which might be why this response feels so charged, and i’m sorry.

I don’t mean to come off as snippy or rude, but it *is* kind of invasive to offer to finish one’s creative work when it’s taking too long and theres very little payback for it. I’ve got adhd, delayed satisfaction isn’t a thing I experience. Just guilt that it wasn’t finished in a way for me to post it in time before I broke and lost all motivation to share it.

In my head, TLG has been long finished and held the ending for years, theres just been no energy to put in the effort of finish writing it for others to read. I’m still trying to get my life together to change that, don’t get me wrong, but the American economy is literally in shambles so who knows how or even if i’ll manage that. Call me selfish for being content with only mentally having my creative story’s ending and a collection of rambles and notes to show for it, but at the end of the day, it’s still my story, and i dont feel comfortable with people trying to ‘take up the mantle’ to finish it, when they don’t know how it ends.

I’m glad you like it enough to want to, though, I really *really* am. I’m just sorry I haven’t been able to finish it for you all. And i just don’t know when that will be, I just know that I *want* to do so, however long it takes.

#luka answers #sanders sides #tlg fic #the lost guardian au #luka’s aus #luka rambles #luka rants

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big-meows · 5 years

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Borderlands 3 final thoughts

disclaimers:

Fuck randy pitchford. I mean, obviously i feel like that goes without saying, yes I bought the game, i like the series and sometimes a bitch just wants to sink 70+ hours into a hyper-violent but ultimately goofy, non-threatening video game in a stressful time, sue me.

to that end, yes I played on easy. I also played solo.

i play for fun and i dont fuck with build culture or w/e. i picked moze because i know her VA personally, and that was my only deciding factor.

I play on the ps4 so frankly i have no horse in the epic/steam debacle. I dont really care.

i didnt play bl1 but ive played the others.

spoilers. all the spoilers.

Anthony burch deserved better. I cant believe i have to see “at least im not anthony burch” in the year of our lord 2019 but its still happening out there. He deserved better, and this game is proof. maybe bl2 was “memey,” but it had a solid foundation and a great villain. TPS was also good, i think, honestly i only played it once and I dont remember it super well. Tales is the best in the franchise, and yes it counts, shut up. Burch’s absence is felt here. the story is weak, the villains are flat, and everything is written with the energy of a man who thinks everything that comes out of his mouth is fucking hysterical. like, im not even mad at “big dock energy” or the other stupid, already dated goofs, Im mad that every NPC was painful to listen to, or that rhys, arguably one of the most developed characters in the BL universe by virtue of the game he came from, was 90% mustache jokes. All these characters are like the versions that come out of fandom a year later, flanderized and already boiled down to their one token joke and repeated forever and eternity. You just met Lorelei and she seems cool, but man she REALLY NEEDS HER COFFEE AND IT IS HER ONLY DEFINING PERSONALITY TRAIT LOL!!!

Vaughn is The WORST, BRO

i dont think anyone really grows imo. Im particularly irritated by ava, who i very much want to like! but she has like three stock phrases she uses throughout the entire game, so after maya gets evaporated, you go talk to her and shes like “WOW this ship is cool, so much shit to steal!” like, you couldnt program her to sulk or not want to see anyone for a while? come on.

influencers as villains could have been really powerful if it had been introduced gradually, but mostly it was just obnoxious and too on the nose. troy and tyreen were very hollow. you get brief glimpses of humanity in them, but they’re so rare it almost feel like an accident. You get one(?) mention of their childhood before you finally stumble fully into the plot in the last few hours of the game. troy’s “betrayal” could be spotted a mile away despite it being hardly developed. I honestly dont even know if they loved each other or not? Was tyreen hurt by troy’s betrayal and subsequent demise? did troy look up to her and want to be her equal, or did he want out from under her shadow? i dont know. did i miss those echo logs? should the majority of the lore in a game be MISSABLE?

jack tracked well as a villain because you, over time, learned exactly how awful he was beyond “cocky corporate asshole who wants you dead” re: angel being his daughter. the twins are just....flatline obnoxious the whole way through.

sucks to be leda, apparently extremely badass but ultimately an afterthought who lives and dies offscreen only in recollections of the past.

sucks even worse to be fiona. i can tell you right now i wont be fucking with DLC unless it brings back fiona.

hammerlock saved this fucking game, he brings a certain dignity to the table that really helped level the tone after the rhys-katagawa stuff. Eden-6 was actually my favorite section of the game. loved hammerlock, loved jakobs, loved clay, and LOVED the jakobs estate. dunno why?? maybe because that level had me thinking “i could almost pretend im playing bioshock rn”

my GF absolutely hates the new claptrap. she’s right though. a claptrap that experiences emotions outside of “delusional exuberance” isnt actually claptrap

can my boy mordecai catch one single fucking break

is the vault hunter ever actually there? its really distracting how they’re never actually involved in cut scenes.

zer0 was too chatty. kind of kills the air of mystery.

gripes aside, i DID clock like 76 hours as moze, and i will probably continue to fuck around in it post game to clean up some extra stuff. might even start a zane of fl4k. the reviews promised it would be “more borderlands, nothing special” and thats what we got. it came at a time when i needed to remove myself from social media for a few weeks and lose myself in something mindless and violent, and it provided me with exactly that. its not elevated from BL2/TPS at all. the only improvement i can think of off the top of my head is being able to change quest objectives without entering a menu (thank god). it falls short in a series that always kind of had a low bar to begin with. disappointed but not surprised. i knew burch and eddings were both gone and that their absence would be felt. but i wanted to be gay and do crime anyway. so. you know. whatever. i got approximately what i paid for.

#borderlands

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xiaolinhodown · 7 years

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lmao a quick rant because im kind of livid rn

ive been an advocate for ocxcanon/selfship for like my entire time on the internet and will almost always fight for ppl to be able to do it w/o ridicule (god that sounds lame like i dont think im a martyr i swear) but i seem to always?? get the worst of them magnetized to me ?? like all of the reasons people hate ocxcanon (the posessiveness mostly) follow me in person form.

so a fandom ive been trying to get more involved in for literally YEARS which has tons of friendly and welcoming people is quickly becoming less and less appetizing to me because of one person whos making me feel like garbage. like ive literally spoken to this person a few times and it was all small talk mostly. the first time they really spoke to me was incredibly passive aggressive and being the anxious person i am i immediately got nervous

so basically having my stuff be called “uninspired garbage” in a fandom thats like really close to my heart and full of a lot of good people that i also hold close to my heart is really hard and painful

not to be dramatic but it makes me not want to do anything in it anymore. im not the kind of person who works well under pressure or when i know someone who wants to antagonize me is around. especially in such like an absolutely petty situation like liking the same character from a show that doesnt belong to anybody but their creator. like its really tiring and i dont know why these people are always attracted to me. like i literally go out of my way to avoid people like that or at least be as civil and nice as possible but in return i usually get slapped in the fucking windpipe. im not asking for friendship, i just want to be left alone and allowed to do my thing and do what makes me happy. if you cant handle it, dont look at my shit, and pretend i dont exist. its no skin off my back, whatever keeps me from getting personally attacked over someone who cant reroute their jealousy or control it. all of the people im friendly with in this fandom and others are incredibly chill about liking the same character as another person. and trust me, i understand the jealousy because same as fuck, but its still not hard for me to not be a jerk about it??

i dont even ?? want to start anything which is why im posting this here. i just really needed to vent cause ive been dealing with this for months and have been losing steam quickly. i know i shouldnt care what people say about me (especially people that hate me) but it gets to me anyway and really just. runs me down idk.

#not about anyone who follows me or who i follow #vent//

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trickstarbrave · 3 years

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i hate the take of “just stop looking at stuff you dont like online then if it upsets you!!!”

like very obviously, in case you need me to say it: don’t run discourse blogs and don’t seek out things that upset you to be mad about it. it’s bad for your mental health. just stop looking for it. stop commenting on it and engaging with it. block people. get blacklist extensions. if you want to say smth abt it say smth abt it on ur own time (like i am right now)

but also even if you block people, even if you get blacklists, even if you download extensions, even if you block triggering content, the internet is not designed how it was in the past. its all on big name social media platforms that make their money via engagement. they make money shoving as much content as possible in the users’ faces. if anything might get a rise out of you and lead to engagement, good or bad, they have a vested interest in showing it to you. except tumblr which runs on pure incompetence at this point.

i have a bunch of extensions. if i see someone i dislike so much bc their takes piss me off so much i do not just block them on twitter, i have an extension that blocks every single person that follows them. not because i’m inherently making a moral judgement about every single person that follows one user, but bc that’s how dedicated i am to avoid it. i filter triggers and things that range from things that will send me spiraling to things i just find fucking annoying. i have extensions to do this for basically any major website i use with any semblance of regularity.

and yknow what? ive had to just stop engaging with fandom as a whole. when i complained about untagged age gap stuff in my favorite character’s tag years ago i got sent irl gore along w my friend of mine who was publicly agreeing with me. i just don’t go into most large fandom tags. i see fandom content sporadically. i very rarely go looking up most kinds of fics. i very rarely do anything new, look up new art, look up new fics. i no longer enjoy my time there. fandom has become something i actively resent, when it’s supposed to be about shared love of a media. there have always been shit heads, but this goes beyond a few assholes you can block and ignore. i shouldn’t have to block all 2500 of someone’s followers with a janky extension designed to block alt right speakers who sick their followers on others to harass them bc i kept getting dogpiled with insults, triggering media, and sometimes slurs the moment i interacted with them w/o knowing their shitty ship opinions. i shouldn’t have to avoid engaging with the fandom at all. i shouldn’t be afraid to look at new art and stories without being blindsided by triggering content left untagged (usually in art but you would be AMAZED by the fics).

i do not seek it out. i do everything in my power to avoid it. and you know how that looks? that looks like barely engaging online with anything i like unless the fandom is fucking dead, because if i do it’s actively destructive for my mental health. it looks like me having fun ideas for art and stories and talking about them with my friends and never following through because i don’t want to deal with more dogpiling and nonsense and triggering content. it looks like me losing all my steam for fics and leaving so many unfinished because the fandom behavior makes me actively hate my own work, and i’m tired of getting shitty comments on my stuff that undermines what i’m even trying to do and what i like about it.

“don’t look at things you don’t like and stop complaining about it!!!” really just looks like “get out of every fandom space then already” and it’s getting annoying. maybe stop bragging about how much YOU personally tag stuff (spoilers most of you bragging about it only tag on ao3 at most, though most websites also don’t make tagging easy at all, but at that point you should just admit the websites are shitty and it isn’t the fault of other ppl finding it either if its also not yours) and start telling your followers not to dogpile, and start looking around at other creators making things like you do that can be triggering or harmful and asking them to give warnings and tag it.

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