#and goes out of his way to imagine rem (his mother!! who he idolizes) being disappointed w him if he does make a mistake

[guideaus]

ohhh my god, i forgot about this

#personal #im still thinking abt comparing shima and vash 🤔 #ive thought abt them and they both are averse to conflict but for different reasons. and diff reasons for self loathing. #my boy shima has low emotional intelligence and is a people pleaser. he'll do what other ppl expect of him. he wants (?) to fill his role #BUT he still wont like it. mitsumi listened to a rumor abt him and he silently got pissed abt it and avoided saying why. he compared #himself to a nazi soldier bc he hates his inability to change/be decisive/commit to improving himself #from ch 10 to almost where the series is at rn he's still struggling w that. he prioritizes how he's perceived over anything else. #how likable he is is how much hes worth. he doesnt think hes allowed to be happy otherwise #shima also doesnt believe himself (?) when hes kind. he claims he doesnt really care. even when acting to make someone happier is #good enough evidence probably that theyre kind lol. if ur actually shitty u wouldnt do smth #while vash has the uwu puppydog babygirl vibe as much more of a strategic way to ease tensions. hes also performative in his role of #human typhoon and his rep. he doesnt like it ofc but chooses to use it in regards to others. while alone he might be full on suicidal #and trigun is ofc an action sci-fi but if u replace the ppl vash has unintentionally hurt w 'disappointed' (to be relevant to shima's pov) #its similar. tho the twin in trigun are meant to be hypocritical. vash specifically imagines second chances/love&peace for everyone but him #and goes out of his way to imagine rem (his mother!! who he idolizes) being disappointed w him if he does make a mistake #how trimax ends also kinda skips past his personal development concerning his perception and unintentionally (imo) uses him as a tool to #end the story #sorry i wrote an essay in the tags FHSDFHJSD