#and despite the fact that i dont thinkg ive ever truly been happy or loved life much anyway

[wannaremember]

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#i don't know how ill manage anything if what im anxious about happening does happen #and unfortunately i think it will #i hate everything so much #and i wish i was able to do anything else but everything needs experience that i dont have #and idk but i guess ill have to figure it out when it happens #the when part of it is killing me #also like why didnt they just put me out of my misery friday so i wouldn't be worrying all weekend and dreading monday #god... #i just want to [redacted] and idk what to do about anything #though tbf i never have #and despite the fact that i dont thinkg ive ever truly been happy or loved life much anyway #i genuinely feel like my time in [redacted] was still the best #missing it so much i want to go back 😭 #and i also miss [redacted] so much #why does distance exist from people who would be there for me #i dont really have many people but the ones i do arent even here #and yeah my family will be here soon but tbh that makes it worse because i dont want them to know about this #but they will #i wish i could cry more easily because i need a good cry right now #and a hug #😭