#and barely functional even before it shut off for the kast tome

[boywhocriedlove]

i dont tihnk i csn hold myself together through this. theres so mucy i wm strong enough to conquer but i dont think youll come back to me, not when youre choosing this way

i cant be honest anywhere. as soon as you want the url to this blog i should delete this i wontm because im a stupid cowsrd and i hope mwybe rewding this will make you see what youre doing to me snd make it matter to you

but i know you see

i know you dont care enough to make it syop and

you just aske dme to losten to a aong

why

why must i bend to your emotiojs your struggles your will your everything here

when im the one whi wws wronged

why do i martyr myself for this

why am i unallowed to be mentally ill

to be borderline and acared

and hurt

and hurt

and hurt

you aay you want me to be myself

when when i am you turn qway from me wnd run to him

i hate him

#i cant reply to that. i csnt reply ro you #i cant say a word or my hurt will jsut come out all over again #snd every time im honest #im abandoned more and more #i wwnted to be strong for you #good for you #to help you #like inalways do #to not back down #to take the worst things youre capable of and survive rhem despite everything #to prove you weong #to prove me right #but #i think im about to go #i feel myself shutting down #like a dial uo modem on wind down #grinding #and barely functional even before it shut off for the kast tome #forgotten wnd replwced with something fresh