#and also because [mumble mumble about transitioning from working in a pretty ethical industry to a..... not.... ethical one]

[rimouskis]

when I first started my job, I'd often overplay my emotional detachment to it because I had moved from a high-emotional/personal-involvement industry into a soulless corporate one.

and to, like, justify that decision and explain it to my high-emotional/personal-involvement peers from that old industry, I'd be like "lol I don't really care, you know? the job suits my skill set and I can do it, so it's all good:)"... but I've come to the realization that I actually really enjoy doing the labor of my job and it's weirdly hard to admit that!!

#I think it's because I enjoy the LABOR of my job and don't necessarily believe in the bigger corporate mumbo-jumbo #and also because [mumble mumble about transitioning from working in a pretty ethical industry to a..... not.... ethical one] #which is FUNNY because my calling was deeply NOT my previous industry in any way shape or form #but I could get behind the mission and did fundamentally believe we were doing ''good'' (if flawed) + deeply necessary work #whereas there is a LOT more ethical ambiguity in my new world #(+ some straight up ''oh dear that conflicts with my personal principles ohhhh'' moments lmao though they're high-level and way beyond me) #so it's in some way harder to feel GOOD about the work because it lacks the specific nature of my previous one #and it's like objectively less fulfilling even though it's improve my QoL a lot #which is its OWN issue because then it's like ''oh well I got mine! who cares if it involves EVIL LOBBYISTS!'' #(which is like. babe you are so deeply not actually connected to that and just because a guzzling corp cuts your checks doesn't mean you're #responsible for literally anything they do. in fact KEEP taking their money!) #ANYWAYS I worked on a project all afternoon and had fun with it and felt pleased with my efforts so 👍 #now I'm gonna go get ready to visit some coworkers from my previous job; we're gonna have a bad movie night and I'm bringing snacks :)