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ourloveisforthelovely · 3 years

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5 Years. Part 3

Harry Potter AU

Pairings: Sirius Black x Reader

Link to Chapter 2

Rating: M- smut

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“I forgot how beautiful you were.”

Sirius said with a smirk as he ran a hand down your shoulder. You lay sprawled across his chest. Poking your head up, you smiled down at him. You wanted to spend the next, however long you could, just looking at Sirius’ face. All of the years apart was enough to make you want to memorize everything, in case the two of you were separated again.

“You’re such a tease.”

You said with a smile. Sirius took your hand in his to press a series of kisses to the inside of your wrist. He stopped the moment that he saw a huge scar.

“What happened here?”

You quickly pulled your hand away and shoved it under the pillow.

“Let's not talk about it.”

Sirius frowned. He had a feeling about what happened and he was not about to let it go.

“Did my mother do that?”

You pressed your lips together and nodded. Sirius rolled his eyes before automatically sitting up. He pulled you along with him as he looked down the expanse of your body.

“What else did she do to you?”

You sighed. This wasn’t the conversation that you really wanted to be having after making love for the first time in years.

“Sirius, can we not talk about this right now?”

He shook his head.

“No, we are talking about it. What did that vile toad of a woman do to you.”

“Sirius, she only got violent when she drank. Your mother is a raging alcoholic, did you know that?”

Sirius wanted to laugh. Everyone in his fucking family was an alcoholic...for good reason.

“Y/n, my family consists of functioning alcoholics. You aren’t answering my questions.”

“Fine, Sirius, I didn’t want to tell you because I don’t want you going back to Grimmauld Place to fight your mother or family. Yes, your mother was abusive. I was a week late giving birth to Juliet. She thought that it was a good idea to use the cruciatus curse on me until I went into labor. When I was in labor, there wasn’t any pain medicine allowed because I earned this by sleeping with you. The psycho wouldn’t even let me go to a hospital. She made me have the baby there. If it wasn’t for your aunt Druella showing up to help deliver Juliet, I probably would have died.”

Sirius didn’t say anything for a moment. He sat with his mouth open. He couldn’t talk due to shock. His mother actually used the cruciatus curse to make you go into labor. What kind of shit was that? What if she hurt Juliet in the process? Neither of you deserved that kind of pain!

“I’m going to kill her.”

He snapped. You shook your head.

“No, you are going to stay home and be a good father. You aren’t going to get yourself taken away from Juliet and me again. We need you. That is in the past. Before you go blaming yourself, it wasn’t your fault. I don’t blame you.”

Sirius put his face in his hands. This was the most heartbreaking news that could have possibly received. All that Sirius could think about was you on the floor of Grimmauld Place screaming for him and he had no idea.

“Your family was decent to me though. They have all been really good to Juliet. In fact, they adore her. Druella babies her senseless. Andromeda is the same way...of course, that is outside of the family. She has helped me more than anyone.”

Sirius smiled at that. Of all people, he knew that he could count on Andromeda. Druella was a bit of a surprise. Sirius didn’t expect much out of his aunt.

“Regulus adores her too.”

You said, softly. Sirius looked up at his brother’s name.

“Idiot.”

“You would actually be proud of your brother. Regulus protected me from your mother a lot.”

Sirius sighed.

“I’m surprised that he actually did anything to step out against my mother.”

You quickly crawled on Sirius’ lap. At the moment, you wanted to get off of the topic of his family.

“We can be happy now.”

You said before pressing a kiss to his lips. Sirius’ eyes fluttered open as he wrapped his arms around you.

“We can be very happy.”

“Make love to me again?”

You requested. Sirius smiled. He could go for that request any time that you wanted.

“Lay on your side.”

He said, gently wiggling out from underneath you. You quickly lay on your side as Sirius’ hard body pressed against you from behind. He slipped his hand around your thigh and lifted your leg over his hip.

“I like this position. I can whisper things in your ear that makes you come without me touching you.”

You smiled, wrapping your arm around his as Sirius pushed back inside of you. The bad seemed to vanish as soon as his hips started moving.

“I’m never letting you go, love. My goddess…”

Sirius grunted in your ear as he increased his pace enough to cause your eyes to snap closed in ecstasy. He slowly let go of the breast that you were holding and brought his index finger to his mouth. You whimpered watching as Sirius sucked his finger for a moment before reaching between your legs to play with your clit.

“So tight, baby.”

Sirius moaned, letting his finger fall to your union. Feeling how wet his cock was from being inside of you was more than a turn on.

“Sirius quit playing around and come already.”

Sirius smirked and returned his mouth to your ear. He nibbled down on your earlobe earning a moan.

“Our quickies have always been quality. Come on, sugar.”

It took a final shove before you were falling apart in his arms. The sound of the door closing made the two of you freeze.

“Mummy! Daddy! I’m back! Uncle Remus where are they?”

The two of you froze like guilty children before Sirius’ eyes rolled to you.

“I guess sex anytime is postponed for a bit?”

You nodded as he pulled out of you with a wince.

“Unfortunately. We have a needy four-year-old who is about to be the no sex police. I’ll take care of you later.”

Sirius was quickly pulling his pants up and gave you a wink.

“She has to go to sleep sometime.”

(2 weeks later)

“Mummy! It's my birthday!”

Both Sirius and yourself groaned as the sound of little feet running down the hall woke the two of you up. Sirius looked down at his watch.

“She’s your kid. It's too early.”

You shook your head.

“Nope. She’s yours too, daddy.”

Sirius yawned, waiting for the bedroom door to fling open and Juliet to pounce on the bed. That had been the routine for the past few weeks and he wasn’t complaining. Even though he wasn’t a morning person, getting to see his daughter (even if it was 6 am when normal people should be sleeping) every day.

Keeping his hands off of you when Juliet was around was turning out to be harder than Sirius expected. It seemed like the moment that the two of you started to kiss Juliet would pop up. The night before, for example, Sirius had you in his arms for a quick snog session.

“When you kiss, where do you put your noses?”

Sirius had never dropped his hold on you so fast.

As soon as the door opened, you winced as Juliet landed on top of your feet.

“I know you are both awake. I heard talking.”

Juliet quickly crawled in between Sirius and yourself and laid down. She was quiet for a few moments giving the two of you the idea that she was going back to sleep.

“I’m still here and it's still my birthday.”

Sirius chuckled as Juliet turned and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Did you go tell your uncle Remus? I bet he would love to know.”

Juliet’s head popped up as she threw her leg over her father to slide out of the bed and run out of the room.

You slowly sat up with a rested yawn.

“Good idea. I might as well get up. I have a cake to fix.”

Sirius nodded, realizing any hope of sleeping in was now over. His mind went automatically to his mother. Sirius had been worried for the past two days about Walburga showing up on Juliet’s birthday.

Meanwhile, you had turned your attention back to Sirius. He was frowning as he pulled a shirt over his head.

“Are you worried about what I think that you are worried about?”

Sirius glanced in your direction.

“You know me well.”

You took a breath before turning and wrapping your arms around his waist. Sirius pressed a kiss to the top of your head before speaking again.

“She won’t show. She knows that I won’t play nice with her but my family is a bunch of idiots so...you never know.”

(A few hours later)

“Mummy, doorbell!”

Juliet yelled from the living room. Sirius’ eyes rolled up to yours. You hadn’t mentioned visitors. He had been just fine with the idea of spending Juliet’s birthday with just the two of you (and Remus).

“I don’t think you have to be ready to fight yet.”

You said, gently. The only people that you planned on dropping by were Andromeda, Druella, and maybe (if he was back in town) Regulus. That was going to be awkward enough if he did show up. You knew that Sirius still hadn’t really accepted the fact that his brother may actually be a good guy.

Putting down the spatula that you were holding, you tried to ignore Sirius’ scowl. You were trying to ignore the nagging feeling that you had about Sirius changing. He was still as funny as he was before but you could see subtle differences. Prison changes people...you thought sadly. Sirius would be no exception to that rule.

Opening the door, you smiled seeing Andromeda and Druella on the other side. Both women smiled before Andromeda wrapped her arms around you.

“Y/n! Sweetheart, you look so good!”

“Aunty!”

Juliet squealed, you turned as Sirius stepped in with the little girl in his arms. You knew without saying it that he was worried about the person on the other side of the door being Walburga.

Sirius sat the squirming child down as Andromeda knelt down to scoop Juliet up.

“Happy birthday, darling! Look at you! I think you have grown two wee little inches.”

“I did! Mummy measured me. Daddy got me a puppy..”

Andromeda smirked at the scowl that you were giving Sirius. Clearly, the two of you were not on the same page about that particular present.

“What did you name it?”

“Muffin!”

Juliet squeaked.

“Shall I go get him?”

Druella stepped in.

“Not until you give aunty her kiss.”

Andromeda held the little girl over to her mother so Juliet could press a kiss to the older woman’s cheek before sitting her down. Juliet took off up the stairs as Druella closed the door behind her.

“Such a darling little girl. Looks so much like her father and there he is.”

Sirius tensed up a bit as his aunt awkwardly kissed his cheek.

“Five years in that hell pit and you are still as handsome as you were before you were thrown in there. I’m glad that miserable little bastard that got you locked up is in there now.”

Sirius was busy looking at his aunt making sure that this actually was Druella.

“Uh, yeah...um...how are you?”

Druella smirked. She knew how uncomfortable Sirius had to be.

“Don’t worry, dear. Your dingbat mother isn’t with me. Walburga is a lot of things and a mother isn’t one of them. Y/n, I smell tea.”

“Come with me.”

When you had escorted the older woman into the kitchen, Andromeda met Sirius’ confused gaze.

“What the hell is going on around here?”

He asked as Andromeda hugged him.

“Mum is starting to see how crazy our family really is. She is out of the family like we are now. How are you?”

Sirius shrugged.

“I’m making it. I’m still getting used to everything again.”

Andromeda’s smile faded. This was what she worried about. She had been worried about how Azkaban would affect her favorite cousin. Andromeda pulled Sirius into another hug.

“At least you’re out and where you should be. Juliet is an adorable little girl. She reminds me a lot of you at that age just with Regulus’ curly hair.”

Andromeda was relieved when Sirius smiled. Sirius had to agree on that one. Juliet had her uncle’s wild curls.

“I just feel guilty that I have missed as much time as I did.”

Andromeda patted his shoulder.

“You’re here now. That’s what matters. So what’s the deal with this puppy?”

Sirius smirked. He knew that you weren’t thrilled about the puppy and that's what made the whole thing even more amusing.

“He’s less of a dog and more of a throw pillow. Its little white poof that’s small enough for Juliet to carry around. Poor thing is sexually confused because it's named Muffin.”

Druella stepped back into the room with her fourth cup of tea for the day.

“Handsome get in here. We need to catch up.”

(20 minutes later)

You sat beside Sirius as Druella held Juliet and her new puppy. The doorbell ringing again got your attention. Sirius leaned over to you with a frown.

“Here we go.”

The two of you stood up and went back into the living room with Juliet on your hills. Sirius quickly turned and picked her up before reaching for the door handle. If it was his mother, he was ready to hex her back to hell where she belonged.

When the door opened, he froze as he came eye to eye with Regulus. Sirius didn’t move for a moment as he stared at his brother for the first time in almost 6 years. Regulus was clearly as shocked to see Sirius.

“Sirius…”

He stuttered as Juliet started reaching out with a wide smile on her little face.

“Uncle Reggie!”

Sirius reluctantly let regulus take the little girl from him before backing up to where you stood. You sighed at the expression on his face. That wasn’t a Sirius Black happy face. That was more of a Sirius Black ready to fight face.

Andromeda motioned you back to her.

“Here we go.”

_________

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#Sirius Black #Regulus Black #Sirius x Reader #Harry Potter AU #Remus #James Potter #Lily Evans Potter #sirius black au #walburga black #orion black #sirius orion black #the noble and most ancient house of black #ben barnes as sirius black #andrew garfield as remus lupin #5 Years #5 Years Update

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calzona-ga · 4 years

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SPOILER ALERT: The story includes details about the season-finale episode of ABC’s Grey’s Anatomy. While it wasn’t the planned ending, tonight’s Season 16 finale of ABC’s Grey’s Anatomy, written by Mark Driscoll and Tameson Duffy and directed by Deborah Pratt, was fitting. Indeed, this season was cut short due to the halting of production in response to the COVID-19 pandemic.

You can’t be the longest-running medical drama on television without overcoming some challenges, and Grey’s already has proved its ability to pivot when the unexpected happens. The production shutdown was is the second major curveball for the show this season after original cast member Justin Chambers’ abrupt exit. No word on whether the four unproduced episodes from Season 16 will roll over to the next season. But this episode, titled “Put on a Happy Face,” had enough to tide us over until Season 17.

Let’s start on a positive highlight. After Richard (James Pickens Jr.) experienced hallucinations as well as a very intense and very public breakdown, fans feared that they might be losing another veteran Grey/Sloane surgeon. Determined not to accept his Alzheimer’s diagnosis, Meredith Grey (Ellen Pompeo) and Andrew DeLuca (Giacomo Gianniotti) worked around the clock to pinpoint the problem, with DeLuca coming through with a game-changing discovery: His dementia was a result of cobalt poisoning from a hip replacement surgery.

Not a hard fix. Dr. Link (Chris Carmack) was brought in to remove the cobalt, and it appears that Webber is on the road to recovery with his health. However, his marriage to Catherine is not out of the danger zone. Turns out the hallucinations had nothing to do with his marital discord. “Did you stand by me while I was being fired? You buy my hospital to humiliate me, or is that my mind playing tricks, too,” Webber contends before sternly kicking Catherine out of the room.

Meanwhile, DeLuca, who has been exhibiting erratic behavior and angry outbursts all season, isn’t able to bask in his incredible catch. Instead, has a breakdown of his own — signaling that it might be time to address his bipolar disorder-like symptoms, which are similar to his father’s.

DeLuca and Grey have become quite the medical duo this season but still couldn’t figure out how to make their romantic relationship work. It’s unclear where that will land next season as a new contender entered midseason — and he goes by the name of Dr. Cormac Hayes (Richard Flood). The two seem to have a connection, though it appears to be on a friendly level at this point (Hayes was a present sent to Meredith by “her person” Cristina Yang). Could this be the next Grey’s love triangle?

Elsewhere, Amelia Shepherd (Caterina Scorsone) finally had her baby! And she opted not to have an epidural because she’s an addict, and the epidural has fentanyl in it. While baby daddy Link wasn’t able to be present during the birth (he was performing the surgery on Webber), she had fellow “pregnancy club” sister Miranda Bailey (Chandra Wilson) by her side. The two share a tender moment when Bailey hops on the bed to support Amelia as she is giving birth, calling back to the time when late George O’Malley (T. R. Knight) did the same for Bailey during her labor back in Season 2.

Alas, not everyone got a happy ending. Owen Hunt (Kevin McKidd) and Teddy Altman (Kim Raver) were set to walk down the aisle, but Teddy needed her one last go-round with Tom Koracick (Greg Germann). Unbeknownst to her, she somehow recorded it and sent it to Owen, who had to endure the embarrassment of hearing it while in the OR surrounded by his colleagues. The wedding eventually is postponed, with Owen giving the excuse that he was pulled into surgery last-minute. In typical Grey’s fashion, there is never a wedding without drama.

Deadline spoke with Grey’s Anatomy showrunner Krista Vernoff, who unpacked the final episode, hinted at what’s to come next season and revealed what storylines she wished they were able to air this season. She also weighed in on the fan reactions to Alex Karev’s controversial exit.

DEADLINE: The Season 16 ender wasn’t what was expected, but like you said in your tweet, it was very satisfying, and a fitting Grey’s ending. How do you plan on carrying over the storyline to next season, or is there a plan to carry over the storyline from the last four episodes to next season? KRISTA VERNOFF: I have not formulated that plan yet. In about four weeks, I’m going to get in a room with the writers, and we’re going to talk about all of it. I know that a lot us are having brainstorms since we have so much time at home. A lot of us are texting each other, and going, “Oh, what if we did this? What if we do that?” So I have a feeling that their stories are going to change some, from what we had planned, and that we’ll repurpose some of what we had written and use it in the early episodes of Season 17.

DEADLINE: The production shut down was the second major curveball for the show, after Justin Chambers’ exit. What were your thoughts on the reaction to his exit?VERNOFF: Well, you know, I haven’t been commenting on this much, but I just did an Instagram Live where I said that, so, I’ll say it to you too. I believe that there would’ve been at least as big an outcry if we had killed that character off-camera, and those were our choices. It was kill the character off-camera, or come up with some believable way that he gets his happily ever after, and some of the fans have posited, ‘well he could have just been off-screen in Seattle like April Kepner, but then you’ve got an actress on the show who doesn’t get to do any of the fun, sexy, playful thrill that we’re known for, then you penalize the actors who are staying on the show by limiting what you could do creatively with them. So I was really proud of that episode. I think Elisabeth Finch did an extraordinary job with a nearly impossible task.

That episode made me cry. It made me laugh. I felt really deeply. I felt satisfaction, and I will say that I have received a great many comments from fans who felt the same way, but the angry people are always the loudest ones.

I wasn’t surprised by the fan reaction, but I know it would’ve been equally angry if I had killed him — so it was like, these are your choices, and I felt really happy with what we chose.

DEADLINE: The fact that you didn’t kill the character off also leaves the door open that we might see them in the future. So is there any chance of [Justin Chambers] or Katherine Heigl, ever coming back? VERNOFF: When I left the show in Season 7, people asked me if there was any chance of me ever coming back, and I was smart enough to say, “Never say never.” Here I am, so who knows?

DEADLINE: Jo was able to accept Alex’s decision in a short amount of time and come to terms with everything. Did that have anything to do with her character’s stint in the psychiatric hospital, at the beginning of the season? VERNOFF: Yes. Jo had had such a dramatic, emotional, painful arc, the second half of Season 15. None of the writers, frankly, none of us wanted to see her go back down into a hole. One of the things about the way the character was written off is that she had a lot of time to wonder, and to fear the worst, and I have found in life that when you have a lot of time to wonder and fear the worst, then when you get an answer, even if it’s terrible news, it feels better than not knowing. And it helps you move on, more quickly.

DEADLINE: I want to just touch on Richard’s illness. Is it safe to say that he’s out of the danger zone? Also, did his illness contribute to anything that had to do with his relationship with Catherine? And what can we expect from that couple in the future?We’ll start with the illness — is he in the safe zone now that they’ve caught it early and treated it? VERNOFF: Yes, and I thought that that was one of the most amazing things about this diagnosis was that the cobalt poisoning thing is real and it really can cause all of those symptoms. It can cause dementia-like symptoms. It can cause Parkinson’s-like symptoms — tremors, hallucinations — and the amazing thing about it is that once you diagnose it, and you get the leaky hip out of your body, you can recover, totally. That felt, just as the storyteller, an amazing thing because it let us give Jim Pickens this really rich, rich material, without us having to permanently disable his character. I think that that was an amazing ride for the fans, because the outcry of we’re showing symptoms that don’t feel like they have cures.

There’s not really a cure for Parkinson’s. There’s not a cure for Alzheimer’s. So I know everyone was in a panic, and so, we got to tell this really satisfying story, and we got to let people know that sometimes, there’s another diagnosis for those symptoms, which we found fascinating, as a group of writers who write medicine, that it’s so rare to see something this satisfying.

DEADLINE: Did the symptoms from the cobalt poisoning have anything to do with his attitude toward Catherine? What’s in store for them? Can we still hold out hope for that couple? VERNOFF: I think you can always hold out hope for any couple on Grey’s Anatomy. You never know where it’s going, and I think that the way we designed this was that the fracture, the real fracture in Catherine and Richard’s relationship predated the cobalt poisoning.

So the way we imagined it was that, with the depression, everyone thought it was related to his divorce, and it was actually a symptom of cobalt poisoning. And then the tremors were a symptom of cobalt poisoning, and then the hallucinations, so that when he forgave her, he forgave her in a hallucination. And when he was well, he remembered the actual events from his life, for which he has not yet forgiven her. The reason that I hold out most for that couple is that Catherine rediscovered her deep and profound love for Richard when she almost lost him. I think that that may enable her to apologize in the way that Richard will need to hear.

DEADLINE: Speaking of forgiveness, in true Grey’s fashion, there’s never a wedding without any drama, as we saw with Teddy and Owen. We’ve seen their relationship woes throughout the series, and this season felt like they were going to finally get it together and find each other and have their happy ending. Why haven’t they quite found that happy ending, and can Owen forgive Teddy? VERNOFF: I think that those are questions that we will have to explore in Season 17. I will say that of all the storylines that were left hanging, that is the one that I was the most disappointed about. Actually, there were two: I’m disappointed that I cannot give Teddy — we had an episode coming up where we were able to better articulate and better understand what’s prompting Teddy’s behavior, and we don’t get to air it. Who knows, maybe it’s going to change between now and when we’ll actually shoot it for Season 17, but I feel for Kim Raver. The amount of standing is high, and we’ve left her in a strange place. It’s compelling, and why? Your question is big. Why? Why would she sabotage — why, when she was finally getting her happy ending, did she sabotage it? I think it’s the super-rich area personally.

And then the other story that I was really disappointed that we couldn’t complete — and I will tell you that I haven’t told this to anyone else, but we did a story where there as a victim of human trafficking, like two episodes ago, and DeLuca we got recognized it but he was in such a mentally compromised, manic state that nobody listened to him and the girl left. We had an episode where she comes back, and I am really sad that we can’t air that episode this season because it felt important to offer that kind of hope to people who are living that experience. I may still complete that story next season.

DEADLINE: I want to touch on DeLuca, who has gone through this really rocky journey with Meredith this season. Although they haven’t really been able to figure out their personal relationship, they’ve proven to be a great medical team. What can you tease about this couple? Last season, we talked about Meredith being ready for love. What can we tease about this couple in the future? Is somebody else going to throw a wrench in everything? Somebody by the name of Hayes? VERNOFF: There is hope for Meredith and DeLuca, and I think that there is hope for Meredith and Hayes. I will be fascinated to see how that storytelling emerges in season 17 because this story played in a way that I didn’t picture. You know, you write a thing, and then the actors play it, and then it gets all put together, and then you know what the story is. You don’t know how it’s going to play when you write it. It’s been amazing for me to watch this story this season. I feel like Giacomo has been so compelling, and DeLuca has risen so much, and simultaneously, Hayes has been really compelling and feels very much like Meredith’s equal. At this point, I’, not even sure which couple I’m rooting for, and that’s always an exciting thing.

DEADLINE: Yeah. We love our love triangles on Grey’s. VERNOFF: Yeah. Yeah.

DEADLINE: One couple might have found their happy ending, it seems, is Amelia and Link. The birth of the baby was such a nice ending to a season full of ups and downs. Was that one thing you were excited about? To see Amelia who had her complications with her first pregnancy, and this one turned out fine. VERNOFF: Yeah. I love that story and I am so grateful that … we got to air it this season. It would’ve been really a bummer if we hadn’t made it there, this season. So, that was just luck and I’m grateful that it was in that episode. I love that scene where Bailey gets in the bed with Amelia, and we call back to when George got in the bed with Bailey and it’s just so beautiful. It was pitched by Meg Mooney, who’s been with the show for 15 years. It made me cry when she pitched it, and it makes me cry every time I watch it. I, like everyone else, at this point really am loving Link and Amelia, and I was so happy. That ending for them felt so hard won this season.

DEADLINE: Is the next season being envisioned as the final season since it’s the second of the two-year pickup, or are you guys having conversations about potentially more seasons? VERNOFF: You know, what I always say to this question, is my answer again today, and that is: I will not start planning the end of Grey’s Anatomy until Shonda [Rhimes] and Ellen and ABC all sit down together, tell me that this really the end this time. The truth is those conversations might be being had if we weren’t dealing with a global pandemic, but everyone’s gone home, and I suspect we’ll start talking about that in a month, or two.

DEADLINE: Speaking of this global pandemic, obviously Grey’s is known for taking things that are happening in the world, and incorporating it into the series. Are there any plans to reflect on this current pandemic on the show for next season? VERNOFF: I haven’t had a minute yet to sit with the writers and talk about it. So, we’re all at home, and we’re on hiatus, but in about four weeks, we’ll gather, and we’ll talk about it. I have a hard time imagining that we don’t have to acknowledge this massive thing that we’ve all gone through, in our fictional world, too, but I have no idea how. I don’t know what it’s going to look like.

DEADLINE: Station 19 — we still have more episodes coming with that series. Are we going to see any of the Grey’s characters in the final couple of episodes? VERNOFF: Yes. Happily, yes, you are. The Grey’s characters are all over the last two episodes of Station 19. So, that is a really nice treat for the fans, too. Many of our Grey’s characters are in Episodes 15 or 16 on Station 19.

#grey's anatomy #krista vernoff #deadline #scoop

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mtvswatches · 5 years

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Wynonna Earp 2x06 Whiskey Lullaby

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Stray thoughts

1) “Don’t talk about my partner’s ass” Hearing Doc say those words in regards to Dolls gave me so much joy!

2) So, Black Badge indeed no longer exists, at least not in the same shape and form as we knew it. They’ve cut Dolls, Purgatory and the Earps loose and they are now left to their own devices. If they’re not a government agency, then what are they? Who else would be interested in fighting the supernatural institutionally? Anyway, the dude told them that when Doc freed Dolls, other things escaped, too.

3) Who or what are these women? Are they widows? Is that why they dress in black?

4) So Wynonna is pregnant. And she’s also in denial mode. I get it, I mean this was definitely not part of the plan. I mean, she really doesn’t have a plan per se, but you know what I mean. She’s refusing to deal with this right now, but who are we kidding? That’s not something that you can really postpone dealing with. You have to make a decision either way. Also, is Doc the father? I’m trying to remember if she slept with anyone else after that, but I think she didn’t? Or is this like a supernatural pregnancy? And what about the goo? Did the goo affect the baby? Is Wynonna going to have the baby? And if she does, will it be an actual baby or are they going to turn it into a Connor? So many questions! I am really interested in seeing where this show is headed with this storyline…

5) To distract herself, Wynonna goes begging Nicole for a case, but there seems to be no supernatural activity lately. Well, except for…

6) So, there are rings and they’re talking about wives and husbands, so they must be widows, but whose widows are they? They’re looking for the location of a seal, and they mention Bobo and the Stone witch, none of whom are available. And when they mention Juan Carlos, they mention that they’re not strong enough to face him. Huh.

7) Hypnos? And the Creepster is asking for more time for the Widows (yes, they are widows, I got it right!) Does this mean this Hypnos guy will hypnotize everyone in Purgatory? Will he turn back time? Make time go slower? He’s doing something alright…

DOLLS: We are free agents. Free to make our own rules and to pursue our own objectives. DOC: Welcome to the club. I've been here a while. I'll show you what areas are off limits. DOLLS: Well, that's my point. There are no areas that are off limits anymore. ME:

Seriously, though, last time we saw them they were getting along just fine, so what happened between then and now?

9) So, this is what was happening…

DOLLS: Hey, Wynonna. You wanna grab coffee with me? There's something I wanna discuss with you that's personal. WYNNONA: Yeah, sure.

Does this mean that Dolls and Wynonna will be a thing? I truly can’t accept that Doc/Wynonna are over? How? They were even barely started!

10) Okay, Waverly just suggested Doc is the baby’s father… This can’t be the end of Wynonna and Doc. I’ll Calcutta bitch!

Even though I agree with Wynonna in that it is her situation and it is up to her who to tell and when, Waverly does make a great point that it’s not fair to either Dolls or Doc not to let them know about her “situation.” I’m guessing Wynonna is going to handle it in true Wynonna fashion and it’s gonna be messy.

11) Oh, Nicole and Waverly are so beautiful and hot together?

And I’m super glad they addressed this because it was kind of tormenting me not knowing whether Waverly was really Waverly when they were together while they were possessed…

NICOLE: You taste like my Waverly again. WAVERLY: What's wrong? NICOLE: I was just thinking how much of the other times were you, you? You know, because you said things, and we did things, and I don't know what was real. WAVERLY: No. It was all real. Okay? It was all me. NICOLE: How can you be sure? WAVERLY: Because I don't remember much about when it was in control. But I remember every second I was with you. Each touch. Every kiss.

12) I guess Hypno dude just put them all to sleep?

And the timing couldn’t have been more perfect for Wynonna, she was really dreading the “personal” conversation with Dolls. But why? Is it because she doesn’t see him in that way? Or is it because she truly does and it scares the shit out of her? I’m guessing it’s the latter, but I don’t want it to be. I have nothing against Dolls, but I love Wynonna and Doc!

13) I guess the Widows did get some time. A few months, actually…

Damn, this means the choice to be pregnant or stop the pregnancy was taken away from her.

How did people survive, though? I mean, Wynonna was covered in dust, and all the food is rotten, which means that time literally went by, it’s not that they just fastforwarded…

Also, damn, their breath must be AWFUL!

14) They need to take drugs to keep themselves awake, but Wynonna obviously can’t take any… and Dolls is making heart eyes at her, and I just realized he still hasn’t seen her baby bump…

15) “The whole town has been asleep for weeks.” Okay, exactly how many weeks? I need to know! So they kept up the whole town asleep this long by threatening with hurting Poppy, who is… Hypnos’ daughter? Lover? I have no idea. But now that Wynonna is awake he can’t make her and the gang fall back asleep… She’s too strong. Damn straight she is!

16) And if people stay asleep too long, they’ll never wake up. Cool. Cool cool cool. Waverly’d better fucking hurry up and wake up Doc yesterday!

17) What are these bitches doing to Wynonna? They’d better not hurt the baby!

18) And this is how Doc fell asleep…

19) Jeremy just woke up and went straight to business. The second seal is apparently in Shorty’s, so they’d been sitting on it this whole time. The problem is that the Widows stole all their plans and research and probably know this already.

20) And Dolls just realized Wynonna is preggers…

I’m guessing now the million-dollar question will be asked – who’s the father? Wynonna insists that nothing has changed and that she can still kick some evil ass, but… that’s probably the last thing in Doll’s mind right now?

21) And this is everything I didn’t know I needed in my life?

A pregnant lady kicking ass? HELL YES!

22) Okay, Poppy is Hypno’s daughter, and the Creepster has obviously taken her to rape her, so Hypno agreed to help Wynonna if she makes sure his daughter is safe, which I think it’s something Wynonna could relate to.

23) The Widows just fucking froze Waverly and Doc? Are they going to eat them up?

24) Bless Nicole, she’s been tracking the Creepster’s phone because she knew he was gross and evil. Bless Wynonna for her reaction, too.

25) Well…

Then he says she’s amazing and tries to save face or a bit of his ego by saying she’s an amazing agent, yeah, right.

26) Please let Jeremy save the day. Pleasepleaseplease.

27) He so didn’t.

28) Oh my God, the fucking Creepster is asking Poppy to role-play as Waverly before he rapes her? PLEASE SOMEONE MURDER HIM!

29) Ugh, Nicole, why would you shoot him in the shoulder and let him run away? Straight between the eyes! And what the fuck else did he do that will get him killed? Worse than what he’s already done?

30) The Widows managed to break the seal, but there’s a third one…

31) And this is how Wynonna told Doc about the baby…?

He’s all teary-eyed, omg, is he happy? Sad? I guess there will be one relationship in his life with strings after all, and I’m not talking about Wynonna. But damn, he didn’t handle the news well, he just walked away and didn’t say anything…

32) So… no time has really passed except for the baby… How convenient for the plot...

33) Damn, Dolls just shot Hypno in cold-blood and forced Wynonna to off him. He’s truly butthurt about the baby, isn’t he?

34) Doc wrote a note for Wynonna. And Jeremy knew Wynonna was pregnant all along hahaha!

35) Clootie?

Oh. This is what he did. He killed Clootie.

36) Damn, this whole scene…

WYNONNA: Am I a screw-up? Yeah. I've also been on two types of birth control since I was 13 years old. But the universe doesn't give a damn. It's never given me a choice, it's never… not whether I wanted to be the Heir or a m… a mother. WAVERLY: I know you're overwhelmed, okay? But not everything is because you're an Earp. WYNONNA: Yeah, it is. It always comes back to the curse, Wave, always. I really, I… I can't do this. WAVERLY: Hey. WYNONNA: No. WAVERLY: Hey. WYNONNA: This poor asshole! WAVERLY: Hey I'm not saying it's gonna be okay. But I'm just saying I'm here.

I’m just, wow. There are so many things that I love about this scene and this plot and what it means for Wynonna. First of all, I’m so glad it’s not a supernatural pregnancy and that it wasn’t the result of rape – magical or otherwise. It’s the result of consensual sex, which is sadly unprecedent in supernatural shows. Think about that for a minute.

There’s the question of choice, too. Wynonna didn’t choose to get pregnant nor did she choose to remain so. I doubt she would’ve ended the pregnancy, but the fact remains, she was deprived of that choice. It’s easier to understand her initial denial and reluctance to discuss the pregnancy in light of this final scene. It’s sad but I think it has to do with the fact she doesn’t think she’s fit to be a mother. Wynonna handles herself with a lot of bravado and self-confidence, but most of the time, it feels as though she’s trying the old “fake it till you make it” strategy. She’s deeply insecure and she thinks very low of herself. On top of that, she’ll be bringing a child into this supernatural mayhem that it’s her life. She’s fully aware she’ll be putting a burden on her child, In a way, she fears she’ll be doing to that child the same thing that has been done so many times to her – depriving them of choice.

I’m just very intrigued as to how they’re going to deal with this pregnancy, and I can’t help but wonder again – will there even be a baby or are we facing a Connor situation? There has already been one time-jump, so it’s possible there’s another one…

37) Aw, Doc, this is why I love you…

He’s all fucking in!

38) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

#Wynonna Earp #Waverly Earp #Wynonna Earp 2x06 #Doc Holliday #Xavier Dolls #WE recap #WE 2x06 #mine

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best-left-hook-jones · 6 years

Text

All Flowers Keep the Light (4/6)

France, 1967. After a hurried wedding due to the birth of her son, Emma and her new husband, Neal Cassidy, move to the quiet French countryside for a fresh start. With Neal working late at the psychiatric hospital next door, it is left to Emma to find her own way to settle in to her new life. Desperate to find a way to pass the time, and to find meaning in her life outside of being a mother, Emma takes it upon herself to revive the facility’s neglected greenhouse. But when a handsome blued eyed patient offers to help her look after the plants, everything in Emma’s world changes.

Rated: M for mature themes, brief violence, and smut (not that bad, but I cover my bases). Beta’d by the phenomenal @wellhellotragic. Updates on Mondays!

Tagging: @hollyethecurious, @kmomof4, @captainswanandclintasha, @meremere94, @rouhn, @therooksshiningknight, @fradditonce, @thesheriffandherdeputy, @followbatb, @branlovesouat, and anyone else that would like to be tagged :)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

AO3

Chapter 4: Four

It would only take someone like Neal not to notice the change in her mood after that. Granted, it had taken two days for Tink to notice, though she likely would have picked up on the change the first day if Henry hadn’t chosen her arrival that morning as the moment to swipe his breakfast plate off of his high chair and onto the floor. The nursemaid had immediately sprung into action, grabbing a towel from the kitchen and making to clean up the mess, leaving Emma to slip out the front door with a quick goodbye. At the time, Emma had felt some guilt at having left in such a hurry, but if it meant postponing the look of pity that she would receive the following days, it had been worth it.

Unfortunately, she hadn’t had Henry to cover for her when Ruby had confronted her at lunch that day. The sharp receptionist had zeroed in on her when she’d gone to lunch on the bench in the gardens, and it hadn’t taken her long to declare that a petite blond nurse had gossipped in her ear. Emma had tried to wave it off, but Ruby had been adamant. They were friends now, she’d argued. Emma had caved then, and once the words were out, she’d found it hard to stop. She was close to tears by the time she’d finished, Ruby having waited quietly and patiently throughout the entire tale. Emma hadn’t been sure what outcome scared her most; that Ruby would judge her for having feelings for a man when she was so clearly married to someone else, or that she would chastise her for having given him up.

But Ruby had done neither, and had simply held her while she’d cried. When she’d run out of tears, Ruby had suggested that she go home and rest, but Emma had refused. If she left, she wasn’t certain she’d ever go back, and she couldn’t bear the thought of letting the garden return to ruins. So she’d returned to the greenhouse, eyes red rimmed, until the sun had begun to set.

Such was the new pattern that she fell into; working in the greenhouse alone in the mornings, lunching with Ruby during her breaks, and returning to the house in the afternoon to see Henry. It became easier as the days passed to forget that there had been a time when she’d had an assistant as she’d worked each morning, though there were still days when she’d turn to ask her partner a question about a certain plant or tool, only to find the table next to hers vacant. Those days were the hardest.

She hadn’t been able to bring herself to ask Ruby about her former companion, and Ruby was clever enough not to bring up the subject. Instead, Ruby spent most of their hours together recounting tales of her childhood, and delighting her friend with funny anecdotes about the facility’s history. Emma came to learn that Ruby had chosen to become a nurse after her grandmother had fallen ill, though it hadn’t mattered - the old woman was apparently as resilient as she was stubborn and had recovered not long after. Choosing to stay close to her anyways, Ruby had found her place at Baudelaire and had quickly risen through the ranks to become the head receptionist and foremost knowledge on the building. She had earned the trust and respect of every member of staff and patient there - and rightly so, Emma thought.

Still, even with her new found friendship with Ruby and her peaceful afternoons with her son, Emma couldn’t help but feel as though she was missing something. A ‘something’ that she hadn’t so much as lost as pushed away.

And, as the days began to blur into one another, a ‘something’ that she became more sure was never coming back.

There was nothing special about the morning until she entered the greenhouse to find Killian standing there. The initial sleepless night had turned out to be the first of many, and for a moment, Emma thought she was hallucinating. He was leaning against the workbench, one of the apple pastries she had baked the day before half-eaten in his hand, looking devilishly handsome, but as though he, too, hadn’t slept in weeks. Not a dream then - she could have never imagined him looking so rough. He’d stood up straighter when he’d spotted her, pastry still in hand.

She was still gaping when he finally addressed her, though he seemed to talk only to break the silence. If she hadn’t known better, she would have thought he was nervous. The sound of his familiar baritone was still enough to cause her heart to swell.

“Are these your famous apple tarts?” He asked casually, taking another mouthful as though he’d never gone.

“Y-yes,” she stuttered out, answering more on reflex than anything. “I made them just in case…”

She choked on the end of that thought. Unable to sleep, she’d woken up early the other day and had baked them to distract herself from her bad mood. She’d brought them along when she’d gone to the greenhouse, just in case… But he hadn’t come, and the tarts had been left to cool on the workbench when she’d left a few hours later.

Killian hummed in appreciation. “They’re very good. Comparable to my mother’s, I dare say.”

“They were better yesterday.”

“I’m sorry to have missed them.”

He was sorry - she could hear it in the way the bravado left his voice and his words cracked. Perhaps that was what did her in, what broke through the barrier she’d begun building around her heart over the past few days, but a moment later she was crying, a string of apologies rushing from her lips as he stepped forward to wrap his arms around her in a soothing embrace.

They stood there for a long moment, her sobs mixing with his hushes and words of reassurances. He tried to explain and apologize for his behaviour, but it hadn’t helped soothe her much. She didn’t want to hear about how upset he had been, or how he’d cried himself to sleep on his cot each night just as she had. She didn’t want to hear about how he’d tried to work up the nerve to go back to her, to beg her for her forgiveness until he was blue in the face, and how he’d become convinced that Emma would have moved on without him in his absence. In the end, it had been Ruby that had finally taken him from his room and given him a good strip down for his sulking. Through her scolding, Killian had gathered that Emma hadn’t lost hope in him, and was likely as miserable as he was. He’d made the decision to return to her in that moment.

She thought she could feel his hand rubbing soft circles on her back, trying to calm her, but she was trembling too much to be sure.

He’d come back.

She must have muttered the thought out loud, because she felt him snort a laugh into her hair.

“Well, if I’d known I’d be missing out on those wonderful pastries…”

Emma erupted into a giddy mess of laughter as she finally found the strength to disentangle herself from his arms, wiping the tears from her eyes. Killian used his thin sleeve to dispel of a stray drop that had escaped down her cheek, his limited wardrobe not allowing for things like handkerchiefs.

“Now, Miss Swan,” he began, his signature, mischievous smile returning to grace his features. “Shall we see what you’ve managed since I’ve been gone?”

Emma beamed at the nickname. “I think you’ll find I’ve done quite well, even without my best assistant, Mr. Jones.”

“I have no doubt. Though the petunias look a bit...” He was cut off by Emma’s mock glare, and he raised his hands in surrender.

It was much easier than she’d expected to get back into her routine with Killian by her side. Once the horrible nerves and apologies had faded away, the rest of it came back easy enough. They talked, chatted away about anything and everything, and teased each other about their progress. Killian noted that Emma had gained some speed, and that she could nearly pot plants as quickly as he did. Almost, of course.

Much to Emma’s surprise, Killian asked about Neal as well. At first she was hesitant, afraid that her answers would only reopen fresh wounds, but she gradually opened up once it was clear that Killian was simply showing genuine curiosity. He wanted to know what he was like, how they had met, when they had married. Those questions were harder to talk about - she hated admitting that Neal had been a one night stand gone wrong, especially to Killian. But he didn’t seem to hold any judgement, simply nodding along, lips pursed, as she explained how she had fallen pregnant the night the well dressed physician in training had accosted her at the bar in her hometown. She hadn’t known at the time that Neal came from money, and she hadn’t cared much for that fact later that month when she’d tracked him down to tell him the news. But Neal had come to his own conclusions early on, raging and spitting lies about how she had deceived him for his status. That had been complete idiocy in his part - Neal’s biological mother had insisted that her son take her maiden name when he was born, to give him his own path in life. From what Emma had gathered, Belle had been a kind mother, full of hope for her son while being acutely aware of her husband’s growing lust for power. Robert Gold had obliged, much as he had to everything his late wife had requested of him. Neal had finally calmed down and had eventually accepted that he hadn’t been played for money, but the episode had only paved the way for future arguments later on.

But if Neal had been upset, his father had been livid. She hadn’t been in the room when Neal had made the phone call, but when he’d approached her later that evening with a marriage proposal, his face was paler than the new moon. Emma had been surprised at the offer - she had been willing to settle for a small purse to help her raise the baby long after he’d gone, but the idea of her child having a father as well had been tempting. It was more than she had ever been granted herself.

They hadn’t expected to moved to the French countryside so soon. Under the guise of providing a wedding gift to his son, Gold had arranged to have a cottage built on the grounds of his asylum. Emma suspected Neal knew as much as she did that it was simply a cover to keep Neal close and out of further trouble. She had never managed to find out for sure, though - Gold had passed away only a few months before they had been expected to move in. The move in plans had necessarily been pushed forward, and Neal had been summoned to arrive as soon as possible to take his father’s place. Everything had just happened so fast then. Emma wasn’t sure she’d had a chance to take it all in yet.

At some point during her story, they had given up working, and were lounging on the same workbench where everything had gone wrong all those weeks ago. She never thought she’d be sitting like this with him again, talking so casually about life. Of missed hopes and dreams. He was already more patient than Neal had ever been, and perhaps it was because he could sense how much she needed to vent her feelings, but Emma rather thought it was because he wanted to know. He wanted to know her. It was definitely a first.

And as they sat facing each other, Emma couldn’t help but notice how easy their touches had become. She’d barely blinked when Killian had picked up her hand and had begun rubbing soothing circles over her knuckles with the pad of his thumb. Every swipe of his finger over her skin sent a wave of calm over her, and she found it easier and easier to speak to him about her spotted past.

Killian changed the topic not long after that, moving away from Neal and focusing instead on her son. That request, Emma would happily oblige. Henry had been the single most light of her life since his birth, the only thing that had kept her sane throughout the nonsense. The smile he gave her when she talked about Henry’s first footsteps, and how his first words had been mama during a routine bath one evening. Killian didn’t seem at all bothered by the fact that she had a child - if anything, his gazes became more loving.

Whatever wrongs she had suffered in her life, she was almost willing to pardon them all for having met Killian Jones.

When darkness descended upon the small glass room, Emma almost didn’t want to leave. It was only when Killian reassured her that he would be there the next morning that she finally agreed to go. Though, she nearly changed her mind right then and there when he bent down to kiss her as he made to leave. It was sudden - clearly an act build out of nerves - but Emma had kissed him back in equal measure. She couldn’t find it in herself to care about anything else in that moment. How could she when Killian was holding her head just so, and how her own fingers seemed to find their grip so easily in his short dark hair?

When she’s finally pulled away, it was only because her mind was all too aware of the young toddler who was waiting at home for her. She would go to him now, run him his bath, and prepare him for bed as usually. Though maybe - just for tonight - his bedtime story would involve a certain blue eyed gentleman who slept only a half a mile away.

The work to keep the greenhouse in order became a challenge when the snow finally began to descend on the small village a few months later. The narrow river that weaved between the hills and along the main avenue had frozen over almost entirely, and the sudden stillness seemed to drag the rest of the world to a stop with it. The already quiet village fell to near silence as residents rarely ventured out from their homes for anything more than church and weekly trips to the stores for supplies. Most days, the only signs of life from the brick houses being the plumes of smoke from the chimneys and the flicker of light from the lit hearths inside.

Emma had used the last of her monthly marital allowance - a prenup condition insisted by Gold - on buying a small electric heater for the greenhouse. The heater had done its job quickly, and a few hours after turning the motor on, the small room had become engulfed in an intense heat that fogged up the thin window panes and made the walls sweat with moisture. The plants seemed to be thriving well enough despite the change in temperature, and the near constant spritzes of water that were showered over the petals and leaves was enough to counteract the dryness of the heater.

The two workers, on the other hand, were already itching in their clothes from the humidity. Emma had found a piece of twine to pull her hair back into a tight pony tail, but there was no remedy for how the fabric clung to her sweat slicked skin. By the frequency with which Killian was dabbing at his brow, he wasn’t faring much better. She had to pull her gaze away from him as he rolled his shoulders to readjust the linen stretched across his back. It was surly her imagination that the heat in the room seemed to double as she followed his movement.

Killian was the one to finally break twenty minutes later, running his hands under the cool water of the sink in the corner to cool off. “Time for a rest?”

Emma looked over from where she was finishing up the last geranium.

“What, Jones?” She teased with a victorious grin. “Can’t handle the heat?”

“Oh, I assure you. I most certainly can,” he replied, leaning against the sink and watching her as she cleaned up her station. Emma was sure his eyes were roaming her figure the way she had his moments ago. She would blame the resulting blush on the heat later.

“Of course! I forget that you grew up setting fires to innocent bakery ovens,” she teased.

“It’s one of my many skills, let’s say.”

Her task done, Emma joined him by the tap, rinsing her own aching fingers. “Ah, and what, pray tell, are these ‘many skills’?”

She felt his lips brush her neck as he leaned over her shoulder. She nearly dropped the little bar of soap in her hands.

“Gardening.”

She hummed, leaning back into him. “Is that all?”

He seemed to think for a moment. “Sailing,” he finally added.

“Sailing?” She hadn’t expected that.

“Mhm. My brother and I used to sail every weekend growing up. We were quite skilled at it too. We thought we would one day join La Royale and become the prides of the French navy.”

Killian was trying to distract her from the questioning as he placed light kisses at her neck, but Emma would have none of it. He had sparked her curiosity.

“Why didn’t you?”

The kisses ceased, and she felt him sigh into her neck. Whatever the story was, it wasn’t a good one.

“Liam fell ill,” he finally began, twisting around to lean against the sink to face her. “We were at a market and stumbled upon a young boy selling a plant he called ‘dreamshade’. It didn’t look like much, but of course Liam had to have it. He had always been obsessed with the study of plants. I used to tease him relentlessly about it when we were children, but he never grew out of it.”

“A man with a fondness for plants,” Emma commented. “You must be related.”

Killian smile grew sad as he continued. “He spent several nights examining it, and on one of the nights he must have have cut himself on one of the thorns. I found him unconscious in the morning when he didn’t come to breakfast.”

“Oh god.” She hadn’t meant to say it out loud.

“I ran back to the market and found the boy. He admitted it was deadly and offered an antidote. For a price. Of course I obliged, and gave him everything I had.”

Emma was nearly afraid to ask. “Did it work?”

“Yes, but Liam was bedridden for months afterwards. And I couldn’t well leave him to join the navy with Liam the way he was, so I spent my days studying everything I could about the plant - and every plant, for that matter. I wanted to know what it was that had nearly taken my brother from me.”

“So you became a gardener?”

Killian shrugged. “It seemed the right thing to do.”

There was a hint of sadness in his eyes that broke her heart. A man with a spirit as wild and adventurous as his should not be locked away. He deserved his freedom as much as anyone else, and the cruelty of the situation left a terrible taste in his mouth. She hadn’t told him as much, but she had been planning a conversation with Neal in her head for days now, pacing her room at night rehearsing her argument. Perhaps Neal simply didn’t know what his father had done. Perhaps he would see past the pettiness and grant him his freedom. She had never known Neal to be a particularly cruel man - stubborn and short-tempered, yes, but not cruel. She hadn’t planned on telling Killian of her intention to talk to Neal in case Neal refused. The last thing she wanted was to provide him with false hope, just to see it ripped away again. But she couldn’t bear the hurt whenever he talked about his past life.

Placing both hands softly against his cheeks, Emma stared into the eyes of the man she had come to care for more than any man she had ever known.

“I’m going to get you out of here,” she promised, her voice barely more than a whisper. She felt him begin to turn his head away, to protest against her hope, but she held firm.

“I’m serious, Killian. You’re going to be free again. I promise you.”

He didn’t turn away this time. Instead, he just stared back, his face filled with awe. She had seen the look before on his face, in the reflection of the window panes when he thought she couldn’t see. Every ounce of affection she had for him was always reflected back in equal measure, and it never failed to make her heart flutter.

He deserved more than he had been given in his life. He was more than the doctors claimed he was, more than the lost boy they had turned him into. He deserved a saviour, someone to give him everything he had ever wanted. And while Emma was certain that wasn’t her - hell, she wasn’t even sure she could set him free from what her own father-in-law had done - perhaps she could be enough for him for now. Perhaps they could be lost together.

Feeling the abundance of emotion rush over her, she pulled him in for a kiss. They had never gone much farther than simple stray kisses, both too afraid of being caught in the act by another overeager blond nurse. But they needed this, needed each other today, and there was no stopping the hands that wandered her body or the fingers that tangled in his dark hair. They were practically panting by the time Killian broke away, his mouth leaving where it had latched to her neck just long enough to lift her up so that she was sitting on the edge of the porcelain sink. As soon as Emma was settled, Killian positioned himself between her bare legs, his lips finding hers again as Emma’s fingers reached to tug down the waistband of his trousers. The position was awkward and they were both drenched in sweat from the hours of labour, but it would have to do. There was little time for nervous jitters. They would need to hurry.

Killian let out a shuddered breath as she palmed his length, his kisses becoming more sloppy as he hurried to push the skirt of her dress up and yanked clumsily at her undergarments. They gasped in unison a few moments later as Killian slid into her tight heat, his moves careful and tentative. It had been awhile since Emma had allowed a man to touch her like this, her physical relationship with Neal having ceased when she had fallen pregnant with Henry, and all but died in the time since. But as long as it had been for her, Emma knew it had been much longer for Killian, and the man before her was practically trembling, whether from want or nerves, she wasn’t sure. He’d frozen the moment Emma had stiffened in pain, his forehead meeting hers as he waited, out of breath, for her to give him a sign to continue. Emma ran a hand through the hair at the base of his neck to help sooth him as the fainest bit of discomfort faded into a much more pleasurable ache. When she was ready, Emma drew his lips back to hers, and the next moment the greenhouse was filled with the sounds of muffled moans and heavy breaths.

Emma’s hands gripped the back of his sweat drenched shirt as he moved within her, his hands steadying her as she slipped further toward him on the narrow ledge until he was practically holding her aloft on his own. She wrapped her legs tighter around his hips, pulling him in closer and drawing moans from both of them. It had never been like this before, not with anyone. Each movement, every thrust, was for her, to bring her over the edge, and Emma could feel that he was holding back for her sake. Not wanting to be the first to fall, Emma whispered words of encouragement in his ear until he gave in completely. In the end, they came together, shuddering in each others’ arms and gasping out each others’ names.

The lazy kisses that had followed afterwards were on the forefront of her mind as she crawled into bed that night, her soiled clothes hidden in the bottom of her hamper. She would worry about washing them later - for now, her mind was whirling with what would come tomorrow. She would need to talk to Neal - she and Killian had decided on that before she’d left. Killian needed to be released. And as neither were confident in the director’s generosity alone, they’d also decided on a contingency plan, and were prepared to bring in reinforcements if necessary.

Emma had begun step one as soon as she’d returned home; leaving Neal a note on his nightstand, requesting that he at least attempt to be home for dinner in the evening. Truthfully, it didn’t matter if he complied. If he didn’t return home, she would simply go to him. There was no time for waiting. A man’s freedom was at stake.

Not just any man. Killian Jones.

The man - quite literally - of her dreams that night.

#all flowers keep the light #Captain Swan #cs ff #csff #captain swan fanfics #captain swan ff #captain swan fanfiction

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easyhairstylesbest · 3 years

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'Outlander' Season 6: Everything We Know

We’re looking down the barrel of the longest Droughtlander yet, but the beloved cast and crew of Outlander are intent on keeping us apprised of the latest from set (and, er, Zoom) in the meantime.

Below, everything we know about season 6 of the hit Starz series—from the latest from set to what to expect for Claire (Caitriona Balfe), Jamie (Sam Heughan), Brianna (Sophie Skelton), and Roger (Richard Rankin) when the show returns.

Season 6 will largely pull from Diana Gabaldon’s A Breath of Snow and Ashes.

Though season 5 depicted several plot points from book six in the Outlander series, including the death of Stephen Bonnet and a brutal attack on Claire, most of the content of the new season will still come from that installment, A Breath of Snow and Ashes, which tracks the Frasers through the years just preceding the Revolutionary War.

Here’s how publisher Penguin Random House describes it:

The year is 1772, and on the eve of the American Revolution, the long fuse of rebellion has already been lit. Men lie dead in the streets of Boston, and in the backwoods of North Carolina, isolated cabins burn in the forest. With chaos brewing, the governor calls upon Jamie Fraser to unite the backcountry and safeguard the colony for King and Crown. But from his wife Jamie knows that three years hence the shot heard round the world will be fired, and the result will be independence—with those loyal to the King either dead or in exile. And there is also the matter of a tiny clipping from The Wilmington Gazette, dated 1776, which reports Jamie’s death, along with his kin. For once, he hopes, his time-traveling family may be wrong about the future.

Executive producer Maril Davis expanded on this in an August 2020 PaleyFest interview, per Parade:

The original Outlander is my favorite, but A Breath of Snow and Ashes is my second favorite… There is so much for everyone in it. Jamie and Claire, their love deepens; Roger and Brianna, they have their own journey, and something fun and new happens with them. Caitlin O’Ryan, who plays Lizzie, has a great story, and she is such a phenomenal actress. There are just so many exciting things.

Gabaldon has published eight books in the Outlander series so far, with a ninth, Go Tell the Bees That I Am Gone, “close” to finished.

Season 6 is now filming.

On Tuesday, February 9, 2021, Starz announced that season 6 of Outlander is currently in production in Scotland. Executive producer Matthew B. Roberts told ELLE.com that “keeping everybody safe is paramount” while shooting in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic: “We had to figure out how to make sure we tested everybody a million times before they walked onto set and keep that bubble as safe as possible.”

Here’s how the network describes the new season:

The sixth season of Outlander sees a continuation of Claire and Jamie’s fight to protect those they love, as they navigate the trials and tribulations of life in colonial America. Establishing a home in the New World is by no means an easy task, particularly in the wild backcountry of North Carolina—and perhaps most significantly—during a period of dramatic political upheaval. The Frasers strive to maintain peace and flourish within a society which—as Claire knows all too well—is unwittingly marching towards Revolution. Against this backdrop, which heralds the birth of the new American nation, Claire and Jamie have built a home together at Fraser’s Ridge. They must now defend this home—established on land granted to them by the Crown—not only from external forces, but also from the increasing strife and conflict in the community within their care. For the Frasers and their immediate family, “home” is more than simply a site in which they live, it is the place where they are laying the foundations for the rest of their lives. If Season 4 asked “What is home?” and Season 5 asked, “What are you willing to do to protect your home?” then Season 6 explores what happens when there is disharmony and division among the inhabitants of the home you’ve created: when you become an outsider, or an ‘outlander,’ so to speak, marginalized and rejected in your own home.

There are 12 episodes in the new season.

Just like season 5.

Filming on season 6 was postponed due to the coronavirus.

On May 3, 2020, Heughan tweeted that season 6 was supposed to start filming that week.

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But pre-production was underway in late 2020, and the cast shared a holiday treat on December 25: a behind-the-scenes look at the show’s costume department, where pre-production work is taking place. Balfe, Heughan, Skelton, and Rankin all make appearances in the three-minute clip and drop hints about the season along the way. “We’re very excited to bring the show to you as soon as possible,” Balfe says.

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“We have to dress a lot of people, because there are many, many more settlers coming to Fraser’s Ridge,” Heughan notes. He also teases a new conflict with Tom Christie, “one of Jamie’s ancient foes” from his Ardsmuir Prison days. “There’s a bit of a power play,” he says.

As for Bree, Skelton says, “We’re gonna see a lot more this season of the modern Brianna…her inventor cap will be on.”

And Balfe contributes an ominous hint: “Things are coming to the Ridge that will even challenge Claire Fraser’s medical knowledge.”

A Breath of Snow and Ashes

Yes, a war is coming.

That’s one thing we can count on. The Revolutionary Way is on the horizon, and the Frasers will, of course, get swept up in the action.

“I think we’ve always done really [well] with the action sequences,” Heughan told ELLE.com of shooting battle sequences back in May 2020. “Certainly I think it’s one of my stronger points in the show. It’s nice when we get a bit of everything.”

Jamie and Claire’s relationship will undergo a “revolution” of its own.

Roberts teases big changes for the Frasers in the new season: “I think what’s going on in the world at the time, 1775, is really similar to what’s going on with Jamie and Claire,” he tole ELLE.com. “There’s going to be a revolution with them as well, and I think that’s what’s going on throughout the season: You have a foundation and when that foundation is shaken and there is a revolution, you have to deal with it. That’s kind of the theme of the season.”

Season 6 will address Claire’s recovery from the traumatic events of the season 5 finale.

The season 5 finale, titled “Never My Love, saw Claire kidnapped and raped by a group of men furious that she inspired their wives to demand agency. “For Claire, this is going to be an ongoing journey of recovery,” Balfe told ELLE.com after the finale aired. “She will probably try to plow on and get back to normality, but I don’t think she’s fully aware of just how difficult, subconsciously and psychologically, that’s going to be for her.”

In the Outlander End of Summer series that aired last September, Heughan expanded where we find the Frasers at the end of the finale: “When we left Season 5, the whole family is fractured,” he said. “They are together but Claire still has some healing to do.”

Read ‘Outlander’

Book 2: Dragonfly in Amber

Readerlink bookshop.org

$9.19

Book 4: Drums of Autumn

Target.com Use Only bookshop.org

$9.19

Book 6: A Breath of Snow and Ashes

Book 7: An Echo in the Bone

Book 8: Written in My Own Heart’s Blood

Seven Stones to Stand or Fall: A Collection of Outlander Fiction

The Outlandish Companion

Diana Gabaldon bookshop.org

$36.80

The Outlandish Companion Volume Two

Diana Gabaldon bookshop.org

$36.80

Julie Kosin Senior Culture Editor Julie Kosin is the senior culture editor of ELLE.com, where she oversees all things movies, TV, books, music, and art, from trawling Netflix for a worthy binge to endorsing your next book club pick.

This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io

'Outlander' Season 6: Everything We Know

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haikumomentsandinspiration · 4 years

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#healthcarevacation, part IV

Today is Sunday, May 10, 2020: Mother’s Day. (I like that in Turkish, the name of the day is Mothers’ Day—plural. I prefer that.)

This felt like the appropriate time to sit down and catch up with the documentation of this long journey.

If you need to catch up, you can read Part I here, Part II here, and Part III here.

So where were we? Ah, yes. December 2019. The pregnancy/birth guarantee program at Fertty International Clinic in Barcelona, Spain.

In my research looking for a new clinic after the last failed transfer (and the poor communication after staffing changes at our old clinic), one thing became clear: G. needed to have more tests and analyses done to try to figure out why all these transfers, including a donor egg cycle with two transfers, had failed.

After much struggle trying (in vain) to have Kaiser cover the tests and analyses Gene and I needed to have done, we realized it was going to be cheaper and easier for Gene to fly solo to Spain in November to get all that done. He would come back to SF, we would wait about three weeks for the test results, and then, based on the test results, we would finalize the protocol for me and the embryo transfer.

Thankfully, G’s results came back normal, everything within expected ranges and levels. So our application to the birth guarantee/shared risk program was officially approved. I would go to Barcelona (solo this time) at the start of my winter break, have a first scan to check my lining, adjust my medication as needed, and get ready for transfer day in about a week.

On December 10, G and I went out for sushi in San Francisco one last time (we hoped) before pregnancy, and a week later, I left for Barcelona. My first check up at Fertty the day after my flight was mostly just blood work and an initial scan to see how my lining was coming along. The lining was fine, but surprise, surprise: I was getting sick with a cold—December flights/weather change were working their magic on me again. My doctor asked to see me in a couple of days, and told me to keep the clinic updated on my health. Two days later, my cold had gotten worse, but my lining was still all right. I spent the rest of the day looking for a reputable and affordable acupuncturist (the second part being the challenge), and thanks to a friend’s rec, I made an appointment, with a focus not on uterine lining support this time, but on kicking this cold’s ass before transfer day.

I took it easy that week, feeling no pressure to do any sightseeing since my priority was the healthcare part of this #healthcarevacation without a doubt. I feasted (!) on soup, bone broth, and hot tea and not much else for several days, and slowly started getting better. My clinic decided to keep my transfer day as scheduled: December 27. Meanwhile, Rina joined me again in Barcelona for a few days for emotional support leading up to transfer day (she doesn’t need much of an excuse to travel, especially to Barcelona).

December 27: Transfer Day! I went to the Fertty for my final blood work before the transfer and to sign some papers. Then, off to fertility acupuncture, and back to the clinic for my transfer. Everything went smoothly; we transferred one embryo this time, with four more good quality embryos left for future attempts/a sibling, so I was feeling good and positive. Besides, their recovery/rest room was the most comfortable one I’d been in in all these cycles at three different clinics. After resting a bit, I went out for lunch, then headed back to my acupuncturist for a post-transfer fertility acupuncture session. Stick, baby, stick!

I took it easy the rest of the time I was in Barcelona. Went out for a walk at least once a day, but had lazy days for the most part.

On New Year’s Eve, the woman I was staying with, Renata, and I went for a late lunch at her favorite Brazilian Bistro (she’s from Brazil). And for dinner, we decided to go to my favorite Turkish restaurant, which I knew would be open till late with their regular menu and would not be charging an arm and a leg for a modified menu. After lunch, Renata, another Brazilian friend of hers, and I walked to the beach for a Brazilian ritual honoring Iemanja (Brazilian spelling). We made wishes, prayed, meditated, and threw yellow and white carnations to the sea for Iemanja, then sat together and watched the sunset. I felt so grateful to be invited to join this ritual (this will be my new cultural appreciation vs. cultural appropriation example the next time I teach that class!). Ever since I’ve known about her, I’ve always felt drawn to Iemanja—being a Pisces and considering my home to be the sea more than any piece of land and all. I felt at peace, and all felt right in the world in a way that I hadn’t felt for a while during this long fertility journey.

I took it easy the next day. And the day after that, the morning of January 3, I had some spotting...very faint, but still spotting. I called G. and cried on the phone. But as he said, we were not out yet. I let Fertty know, too; they said they would up my progesterone dosage and monitor me closely. I had a big lunch and a late dinner that day. Big mistake. I woke up around 3:30 am, nauseated, and threw up twice. In the morning, my spotting had gotten slightly darker, but it was still not heavy spotting and definitely not considered bleeding. I went up from 600 to 800 mg of progesterone a day, and followed the BRAT diet—well, just the R part. The following day, I was feeling better, and finally went outside and played tourist. Surrounding myself with the beauty of Barcelona felt healing. Meanwhile, my clinic told me I could come by the morning before my flight back home for a blood test so they could tell me sooner than later both the result and what the next steps would be. If I weren’t pregnant, I didn’t want to keep taking all those pills and patches loaded with hormones.

January 7, 2020: pregnancy test day! A year ago today was transfer day at Irema clinic, I noticed. I had a glimmer of hope, but no gut feeling either way. I repeated the lesson I had learned from a guided meditation that had been helping me a ton: there is hope in uncertainty! I distracted myself by finally sitting my ass down and doing some lesson planing for my cultural competence/equity literacy unit. In the middle of that, around 2:30 pm came the phone call from the clinic. “Do you want me to tell you on the phone or do you want to come in?” I didn’t want to go in just to hear “I’m sorry...” and I wasn’t sure I wanted a hug. You can just tell me now, I said, bracing myself.

And that’s how I found out I was pregnant.

I don’t remember the exact words the patient coordinator said. I just remember it took a second for it to sink in, and then I started crying while still somehow continuing the conversation and smiling from ear to ear. I finished up my work, and headed to the beach for sunset, which was my plan whether it was positive or negative. Whether I had to celebrate or grieve, I wanted to do it facing the sea.

I went to the beach, watched the sunset, thanked Iemanja, thanked the Universe, and recorded an “IVF Log” video, which I assumed we would eventually share with our baby.

At this point, you may have noticed I didn’t call G as soon as I heard. The next day, January 8th, was my flight back, and the day of our first date 11 years ago. The plan was to tell him in person—our anniversary gift.

When I arrived home, I didn’t let him know I already knew. I didn’t know if he knew that I knew. We had decided on no anniversary presents this year since we had plenty of medical expenses. Turns out G got me a couple of gifts. I would have been upset with him when we had said we weren’t doing presents. Instead, I went to the bathroom, took the pregnancy tests I’d been saving for this day, then went back to the living room, saying I did have some presents for him from Spain. I gave him the couple of small gifts I had gotten for him from Barcelona. Then, I said I realized there was one more thing, and went back and got the pregnancy tests.

The adventure didn’t end there, leaving its place to a blissful period. I had some bleeding week 7 and week 8, and ended up going in for five ultrasounds in those two weeks, freaking out each time since that’s around the same time in my pregnancy and the exact way my miscarriage had begun back in 2016. Each visit, though, instead of the “I’m sorry...there’s no heartbeat” of 2016, we heard “there’s the heartbeat” and exhaled, immensely grateful. After week 8, all was well, but I remained cautious and scared, and didn’t want to share the news with anyone other than family for a while.

Then, the month after my return from Spain, of course: a global pandemic! We were handling all the challenges of this fertility journey so well, apparently, that the Universe thought, “Here, how about a global pandemic during your pregnancy in case things seem too easy now?” “Awesome,” I thought sarcastically; “what perfect timing.” Then, I realized: wait...this IS perfect timing. I came back from Spain, and not long after, Spain was suddenly one of the epicenters of the pandemic, one of the first countries that took significant precautions. This pregnancy did have perfect timing for real. I feel for women whose cycles had to be canceled or postponed.

Today, Mother’s Day, is exactly 22 weeks into my pregnancy—we are more than halfway there to our estimated September 13, 2020 due date. So it feels like it’s a good time to share the news at last.

I want to say that I do not take this pregnancy for granted—especially with the context of a global pandemic and how it has impacted assisted fertility cycles in mind. Each day, I thank the Universe “for this healthy pregnancy—for all the healthy days so far, and all the healthy days to come.” Each time I light a Shabbat candle, I pray not just for my own family and friends’ health, but also for all who are pregnant, and for all who are trying to get pregnant. I had thought that after almost five years of trying to conceive, when we finally succeeded, we would have celebration and community...and hugs! Instead, we found a global pandemic, isolation, distance from our loved ones, and more than the usual dose of a new parent’s fear of the unknown. Last month, I spent a lot of time crying upon slowly realizing all the things I wasn’t going to get in this pregnancy:

- being pregnant out and about in the world and experiencing what that’s like, even with all its irritations (people trying to touch my belly, people not giving their seat up for me on public transportation...); watching people slowly notice it at work...

- looking at baby stuff in person with G.: “OMG...Look at this one! Isn’t this soooo cute?!?”

- an all gender (in-person) celebration/party with our family/friends in July or August (silver lining, I guess, is that family/friends who aren’t in the Bay Area can attend the Zoom party now...whatever that will look like);

- going to Turkey in June one last time in a while before the baby comes; being pregnant on a beach in Turkey; going baby stuff shopping with my family in Turkey; eating all the amazing food in Turkey and knowing it was nourishing not just my soul, but also our baby.

- having my parents’ hands on my pregnant belly, feeling the kicks of their first grandchild;

- coming back from Turkey with my mom, who wanted to come for a visit before the baby to help us get ready at home;

- the September visit from both my parents; possibly having my mother in the delivery room, and knowing my dad is in the waiting room, being anxious and impatient; wondering if Rina could make it, even, and if she could, knowing she would be taking some amazing newborn photos.

Gratitude has been my savior this whole time, and it still is. I know we will have time with my parents, my sister, and my in-laws as they each meet our baby in person eventually, and we will all make beautiful, sweet memories. I know there was a time when there was no FaceTime that would allow a partner who’s not allowed to be at the anatomy scan to still be there virtually. I know there was a time there was no anatomy scan via ultrasound. I could go on.

There is so much to be grateful for still. Thank you, Universe, for this healthy pregnancy—for all the healthy days so far, and all the ones to come.

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cindylouwho-2 · 4 years

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RECENT NEWS, RESOURCES & STUDIES, late April 2020

I hope everyone is well, and staying safe. The COVID-19 pandemic has thrown most of us off track in many areas, and for me, this blog was one of them. After a tumultuous few months, I have finally found the energy to edit this down - it is both way behind in some areas and overwhelmingly dense in others.

The good news is that I plan on posting every week for the next little while, to provide more timely updates. That will sometimes mean more news and fewer “how-to” pieces, and some sections may be omitted some weeks. If there are topics you would find helpful during these uncertain times, please let me know.

Hang in there, and remember to take care of yourself! We can get through this.