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spooner-the-trinity · 4 years

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How Infinity Train pulled from Infinity War’s Playbook for Doctor Who’s final curtain

Funding for Shaffrilas is provided by: Skillshare, the sponsor of today’s video. Stay tuned for a train ride to discountkosh at the end of the video.

O hai, Tetsuya Nomura. That’s a nice hole you’re digging with your Kingdom Hearts, what do you wanna do with it? Keep digging? Why thou? O for a production company? That’s great, whacha gonna do with it? Name and develop the town the Toy Story flicks take place in? Yeah, alright. Add the goofy jock from Glee as a best friend for Andy that the Triceratops assumes is just a Dinosaur Toy down the street? What a funny joke idea! Nix the final playtime they’ve hoped to cap off the film with and save it for a later project? A tad disappointing, but alright. Make Sora a vessel for Xehanort? Whoa, that sounds hella har- A sexy Genie of the Rose who grants a wish for every petal on that collar-mounted rose of hers? Unique concept, but I smell some Hans Christian Anderson shi- The genie’s life force is bound to the Rose so she croaks when the last petal falls ala Beauty and the Beast? And there it is, Color me unsurpri- The Genie finds Andy and drags him into a sex scene to the tune of Aladdin’s Friend Like Me? I don’t think the parents would be okay with their kids watchi- Toonami’s airing this show? Wait, isn’t it on a competing networ- Lewis from Meet the Robinsons is Deleted by DOR-15 Ala the Nanobots from Jimmy Neutron? Mister Enter would be insulted on how you did his favorite Disney flick dirty like thi- Andy is shot into a wormhole and is mutated into a photosensitive Beast? Guys, It’s starting to look like a bad ide- The Genie is an aged-up Bonnie and she’s pregnant with Shantae!? Get me off this crazy tr-

Infinity Train Productions is one of the boldest associates Disney has in its corner right now, from wrestling away ownership of three Gainax originals to collaborating with competing animation company Dreamworks, the IT guys are pretty renowned for their kooky crossovers and kookier cinematic universe. And they’ve made sure to make their acquired goods count towards that universe instead of burn it to the ground LUCASFILM. Starting off by stating this is a universe where Second Impact prevented the assassination of JFK by means of tanging up 13% of the world’s population and weaved a few stitches of train tracks across the globe, naturally the space race escalates exponentially and they begin to develop new technologies and elect Walt Disney himself to be the President of the United States with Nixon as his running mate. That alone resulted in a Sequel Show to Brigadoon where a 24-year-old Marin Asagi boards the Challenger and ends up cast into the future with Melan, a retelling of the first arc of Gurren Lagann that featured Yui Ikari as a supporting character that saves Kamina from death, a twenty-six episode miniseries featuring Andy from the Toy Story gaining a magical genie bound to an enchanted rose, and that’s just the first half of its initial decade. I could go on about its repertoire of shows both original and acquired: Twelve Forever, Evangelion, both Arcadia trilogies with the elder of the two being started by the aformentioned show with that genie of the rose titled, erm… Genie of the Rose, but the one I’m aiming my sights on is the latest acquisition, one that they made in secret. Doctor Who and how they pulled from the playbook of Infinity War to bring the story to its last stop.

Now, quick recap on how Infinity War makes a powerfully heartfelt mass market appeal joyride out of a thoroughly depressing story about failure. Where most Marvel Villains are merely obstacles for the characters to overcome, Thanos acts and reacts as a real person. Where most conflict have certain factors that tip the scales in the favor of who’s tipping them, the conflict is one where either side could come out victorious, where the Comedy of the Last Farcebender ended with the good guys laughing off their failure, Infinity War ended with a content smile from Thanos and our heroes dead silent save for a minor peep of: “Oh, god.” Where the bad decisions in Farcebender are made from genuine stupidity, Infinity War’s stem from worrying whether or not certain sacrifices are worth it. With that crash course out of the way, let’s dig in.

First thing’s first, is the villain a compelling character? Well, although Sacha Dhawan has the same unhinged energy expected out of any incarnation of longtime enemy, the Master, complete with moments of geniuine affection to his former best beff, he’s ultimately not the main baddie of this piece, that honor goes to Alrick. Believed to be dead after a dirtbike accident, it turns out that he had been picked up by the train and has spent a good three decades or so fucking with the systems to construct an empire starting with the crazy world of Elmore all the way to the Lanes Between and yes, he has shown himself to be a caring father figure to Grace and Simon throughout the second half of Cracked Reflections which leads into the episode, he’s concerned for his future as he’s clearly not as lively as he was when he first climbed aboard and even expresses hope for Jesse returning to the train after taking the exit and getting seperated from MT. And oh, look! He returns after the big moment, that’s nice.

So yeah, compelling villain, that’s one tick. Is there equal opportunity for either side to win? Well, MT and early on Jesse before his aformentioned exit have the additional assistance of the Watterson family, Banana Joe, and seemingly Penny for a scene only to reveal her in a new shell complete with mind-control and reflective surface to sick the Po-Po on MT. But despite being the protagonist of his show of origin, she’s not the opposing side to Alrick this time around, it’s the wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey biatch herself and man, does it set up a curious comparison. Alrick is focusing his will into projecting his consciousness into the Doctor’s heart, an alien with countless eons worth of memories under her belt compared to Alrick’s measly sixtysomeodd laps around the sun. Not only that, but the Doctor is able to expel regeneration energy to fry the shit out of him if he feels the need to get a little messy. But with her locked up in the Time Lord Matrix which the Master has already skimmed through, there’s nowhere for the Doctor to run or even hide from Alrick. Throw in the Master’s ability to have his mind occupy two hearts at the same time whilst he’s chatting it up with the Lone Cyberman and the Doctor’s pretty pinned but still has a chance to outfox Alrick at the end of it all.

Bad decisions, the Doctor doesn’t trade lives so she keeps asking about the Timeless Child, what it’s supposed to be and why it drove the Master into absolutely butchering Galifrey after all the hard work each incarnation of the Doctor had. It turns out that this Timeless Child was a Pheonix Denizen created by Alrick to create a perfect world but One-One cast it out in hard-light beam form, striking Takeru and Ryou from This Ugly Yet Beautiful World from 2018. From the clipped wings came Hikari and Akari respectively whilst the main body crashed out of a wormhole into the sights of Tecteun who adopted the kid in time for a spaceship of highly-evolved snake people to crash land due to Kate and Leopold rules of time travel causing their machinery to get mucked up by Time Police in an episode of Rick and Morty of all shows, causing the child to fall to its doom and promptly regenerate, making her the first to do so in Galifreyan history. One of the survivors offers the gift of Time Travel in exchange for the power of Regeneration and Tecteun, scientist and explorer, jumps at the chance by means of tearing out the child’s soul for every three days that elapse. Obviously, she’s a fucking monster and she eventually does crack the code and test it on herself and the results allow the gift of time travel to bestowed upon the newly minted Timelords by Omega. Wow, all of this from a formally great show, (Doofenshmertz: what are the odds.) The Doctor is obviously unsurprised that Omega dangled the keys to time travel over the heads of the Shobagan race, but what horrifies her is that the very thing she and every other Time Lord we’ve seen had taken for granted was pilfered from a denizen that she learns after the life of abuse was created by some dude who hijacked some Train Car manufacturing equipment to build a perfect world. And it’s here where we see the main lynchpin of Alrick’s character: Perfection.

Those of you who’ve seen the whole series of Cracked Reflections will know that Alrick is an obsessive perfectionist first and foremost hence the plan to transform every Denizen of Elmore into full-blooded humans with leftover energy from this same Timeless Child. But not many of us recognize that this is only part of Alrick’s shtick. A simple man with complicated motives, a futurist in the trade of nostalgia, a conservative obsessed with progress, a gentle mentor with an impatient temper. These are just a handful of the ways to describe Walt Disney that were used by Ben Bouqulet, Mic Graves, and Owen Dennis to depict Alrick over the course of the last two seasons of Gumball leading into Cracked Reflections and Garrick Hagon truly gives his all portraying all the various shades of this man especially here when he is sharing his story of how he created a literal god only for One-One to cast it aside upon regaining control of the train from the very woman he spent the past 33 years building a perfect world for, a woman he cherishes like his older sister cherished his girlhood friend, a woman that even now still believes him to be ‘One-One: Gone forever?’ That is some next level tragic shit right there.

Of course, the Doctor is still concerned for this child and it’s here where a familiar face crashes the party to let the cat out of the bag, Morbius from the Fourth Doctor Adventure Brain of Morbius outing himself as the infamous Timeless Child as well as harboring his disembodied heart in the Doctor after his ill-fated Mindbending Battle. This swerve may have served to provide added tension towards his motives, is he really wanting to go back to his home and views traveling with the Doctor as his only way there, or is he biding his time, waiting for his chance to overwhelm the Doctor when she’s not looking. As we see more of Morby’s checkered past in excruciating detail, slavery to the Division with everything down to his personality programmed and dictated into a mind-melded Morby by an enigmatic cult dubbed ‘The Master Writers’ An organization build solely and specifically for Infinity Train Productions to use in their portfolio of works. And when they were done with their enslaved progenetor, the Division in which they served lined him up for an execution from the Fugitive Doctor, during the 2nd Doctor’s orientation. Then they promptly merc poor Ruthie to regenerate her into the 3rd Doctor, closing the gap between Troughton and Pertwee. So yeah, The Division, they’re run by total assholes and Numero Dos only agrees to work there if his first assistant is longtime companion Jamie McCrimmon. But look at his face, does this look like the face of concent and tolerance to you? ‘Joe (Help, I’m a Fish!): Of course not!’ Props to Sam the Man with a Plan Troughton for filling his father’s shoes in this emotionally tense scene. And this ain’t the chilling twist that shocked the fandom.

Alrick: “Whoever harbors the heart of the child is the child in of itself.“

Doctor: “Wot?”

Alrick: “It means that I will have my prize whether you like it or not!” (Punches through the Doctor’s Chest, crushes the Smash Ball within, causing the Doctor to turn into a pheonix before dissipating into Alrick’s body with the Smash Ball. Alrick’s Number skyrockets as his body regresses to his prime, the man laughing maniacally as the Timeless Child’s ultimate power rushes into him)

So yeah, Morby’s been reconstituting his powers over the centuries the Doctor had lived hence the golden energy during the later regenerations. How we find this out is by the titular character of the BBC’s last remaining reason towards that sweet TV Licence Money getting outright merced by Alrick in front of a guy that deep down still admires his childhood friend. This closes out An Untimely Caviat, the final episode in Doctor Who’s revived series, and leads us right into the finale of Cracked Reflection where he goes full on Disney Villain. Mercing the Master to make him a conduit to gijinkafy the entirety of Elmore, Co-Opting his Cybermaster drones as a mechanical army, ludiccrous speed incubating a pocket-dimension frog to house the Train Cars his empire had conquered via that same energy he channeled through the aformentioned Master, yeah, this does not sound like the man Amelia planned to marry if not had already married outright. Well, that’s the point. He’s drunk with power, it’s more likely that this is his ambition talking. No doubt he’s relishing in his own arrogance much to Marnie’s horror. Oh, yeah, Old Marnie’s doing her astral projection thing to react to her younger brother’s madness and watches on as MT gets roughed up by Super Alrick in front of an audience of his adopted children.

Of course, MT does find some santuary in the Number Car and re-unites with Jesse, resulting in the now sempailess Agent Sieve phasing through the glass screen whilst the train is figuring out how to solve Jesse’s seemingly unsolvable problem of getting a denizen off the train. But that just gives the Fleck some time to witness the madness of this rumored Apex fella as he ankleholds MT and gijinkafies Gumball and Darwin to demonstrate his final offer, her response is to break out a Denizen Ex Machina by prompting Alan Dracula to slice the monkeyfigher in half, causing him to regenerate into a pair of innocent, mindless little babies that will never bother anyone ever again… The Crown grieve for their master, Sieve calls off the manhunt for the rouge slither, the companions go their seperate ways with Graham staying on Earth to deliver the bad news the two youngest raising the two babies up to the Doctor’s standard… or at least one of them due to Yaz getting arrested by a Judoon Platoon before she could legally adopt Zarc. The expression of the companions are grim, and rightfully so, the one guy-or-gal that has kept the 21st century from falling into tyranny is no longer around to do the job they enjoyed doing whenever there was a sitch to see through. But after the wide shot of Yaz getting locked up in Shada we cut to MT, off the train and safe with Jesse in Arizona. Jesse’s brother Nate comes up to find his older brother with the very Chrome Girl he met on a magical train, Nate asks for the girl’s name and her answer?

Jesse: Dracula 2?

MT: (looks to the Lake, concerned that the Flecks would come after her but eases up when its clear that there are no Flecks coming.) I’m Lake.

We get a nice little callback to close out the series as the song Kibō plays in the credits, indicating that Hope is still out there in the cosmos, Doctor or No Doctor. And that is a powerful message to send to the audience and I have a pretty good feeling that whether or not the Doctor ends up getting revived in Kingdom Hearts III alongside all the absent heroes that Infinity Train productions had raked in over the years doesn’t quite matter, the studio does not need Doctor Who and its universe does not need the Doctor. And I have a pretty good feeling that the Doc may end up giving up their ticket back into the land of the living, leaving the universe to all the other champions of the cosmos that Toonami has flaunted over the decades. The Doctor has overcome many frightening, haunting, tyrannical, violent and downright Orwellian things in life and man, oh, man have we got a whole plate of them to overcome even now. Would I go back to this expansive world for further analysis, sure, if the views get gud. But the impact of the Doctor’s Death is a pretty big deal that actually caught a bunch of us by surprise despite the minor hints scattered throughout. (One-One: All aboard for emotional maturation on the finest freighter in all of Trenzalore) The Destiny of the Doctor News heard around the world, and the outpour of memories and grief rivalling even Mr. Peanut but unlike the legendary legume, our favorite timelord will probably be gone for a lot longer than just a couple of weeks and the time it takes will show how deep the rabbit hole goes. It will also show who’s willing to step up and find ways to make a difference in the lives of others, and they’re going to need to learn a thing or two to do so. (Cletus from the Simpsons Movie with the Skillshare Logo slapped onto his face in post: My time to shine.)

#schaffrillas productions #Doctor Who #Infinity Train #The Amazing World of Gumball #Timeless Child #Alrick #submission

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timeagainreviews · 4 years

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The Chibnall Masterplan

Back in 2018 when the episode "The Ghost Monument," aired, we got our first mention of "The Timeless Child," as uttered by bog rolls floating above the Doctor’s head. My initial reaction to this was dread. In fact, I can even quote my reaction from the review I wrote- "I’ll be honest, I have zero interest in that storyline. It’s called Doctor Who, not Doctor Who was Once a Little Kid Known as the Timeless Child." I got all of that from a single line of seemingly throwaway dialogue. Two years later, it would appear that my first guess was the truth. It turns out that when the Master said "Everything you think you know is a lie," was a lie. Evidently, I knew all along.

If you follow this blog closely, you’ll know that my reaction to the Timeless Child storyline has softened over time. I went from not giving a damn, to being fairly excited. That is until last week’s episode sent me spiralling back into that initial sense of dread. Sadly, this is the energy I brought into tonight’s episode. As opposed to bracing for excitement, I was bracing for disappointment. This is unfortunate as I always try and temper my expectations. I, like the rest of you, would love to be surprised. Even if I am worried about the trajectory of an episode, I always try and keep an open mind. After all, Doctor Who is pretty great.

After last week’s episode, I expected this one to be jam-packed with exposition. Oddly though, this one suffered from its own heaping dose of fluff as well. Once again, the companions spend most of their time on the sidelines. Right away they kill off that Rose Tyler looking girl, so I guess she wasn’t important. Which is a lot of how the episode treats our human characters. We’re given a scene wherein Yaz and Graham have a heart to heart, leading us to believe one of them may be departing at the end of the episode. However, this expectation is subverted by instead having nothing happen. Like last week, Chibnall has opted toward writing hollow character development in place of plot. Because of this, the scenes with the companions felt more like distractions from the actual story.

We get more of this when Ryan, Ethan, and Ko Sharmus are fighting off Cybermen with the power of busywork. Ryan’s attitude toward weapons has shifted since "The Ghost Monument." His interaction with the Doctor has turned him into a bit of a pacifist. Much like Chibnall’s writing, Ko Sharmus muddies this philosophy for Ryan by convincing him to take up arms against the Cybermen. I expected this to play into Yaz and Graham’s conversation, which felt like a foreshadowing of death. Ryan might shoot one of them as they are dressed in their Cybermen disguises, leading him to regret breaking his pacifism. But none of that happens. While it would have been a bit cliched and overly dark to do such a thing, at least it would have been something.

The Master takes the Doctor into the portal to Gallifrey where they stand within the Time Lord citadel. The Master traps the Doctor in a device which may as well be named the Agency Stripper™, as that’s what it, and this episode does to her throughout most of its run. Using the Time Lord Matrix, he illustrates the story of the Time Lord’s origins. All the while in the real world, he invites Ashad, the Lone Cyberman to set up shop on Gallifrey.

The Master tells the Doctor the story about a Shobogan scientist named Tecteun. She was the first of her kind to achieve space flight, which is incredible when you consider the thousands of people that were necessary just to get humans to the moon. During her travels through space, she discovers an odd gateway containing a little girl. She takes this girl home and raises her as her own. During a freak accident, much like Brendan from last week, she falls off a cliff. Damn kids, always playing by rocky cliffsides. However, instead of dying, she regenerates.

Tecteun goes a bit mad scientist trying to unlock the secrets behind regeneration, leading her to do experiments on this timeless child. She even appears to force regenerations on her as well. Eventually, she unlocks the secret of regenerations and successfully uses it on herself. This establishes what would become Time Lord society. At this point, we’re now waiting for the Master to tell the Doctor exactly what we all know- that the Timeless Child is the Doctor. However, there was a moment when it almost seemed like the Master was going to say he was the Timeless Child, which honestly, I would have found far more compelling. It would have informed so much of the Master’s past actions, and his recent relapse in character development after Missy’s change of hearts.

Instead, I found myself rolling my eyes at this "big reveal." It really was that simple. The story I wrote in my head after a single line of dialogue is exactly what we got. We learn that the number of regenerations was placed upon future Time Lords, which is weird because Clara had to plead for the Time Lords to give the Eleventh Doctor more. I guess along with unlocking the secret to the Timeless Child’s regenerations, they were also able to limit their number. That or Chibnall didn’t even think about it.

When considering the wanton destruction of Gallifrey by the Master’s hand, you suspect whatever it was the Time Lords did to this child was heinous. And while, yes, forcing regenerations upon the kid is a bit cruel, they always looked serene (see: bored) while sitting there in Tecteun’s lab. I expected it to be something like Rassilon and Omega destroyed a child to harness her time travelling ability to create the first TARDIS. Turns out, that the thing that really pissed off the Master was knowing that he had a little bit of the Doctor inside of him. While the Master has always been a bit of a maniac, even this felt like a bit excessive.

Back on the Cybership, the humans have stowed themselves away in Cyberman armour. I rather liked this bit as it reminded me of the very first Dalek story where Ian hides away inside a Dalek carapace. While I feel like they could have done more with this, at least they were having a bit of fun. After saving Ryan, Ethan, and Ko Sharmus from the Cybermen, the humans make their way into the portal to Gallifrey. The Cybermen land above the Time Lord citadel where they hover above, ready to make Gallifrey their new home.

The Master does the Doctor dirty and leaves her inside the Matrix to fend for herself, while he goes off to broker a deal with Ashad. We find out that Ashad, with the guidance of the Cyberium coursing through his mind, has created a death particle capable of undoing all organic life in the universe. His big plan is to basically turn the Cybermen into robots, which much like the Master, I found boring. Thankfully the Master is always up to his dirty tricks as he kills Ashad and uses the Cyberium to create a race of Cyberman/Time Lords known as Cyber-Masters. I was a bit disappointed they weren’t called Cyber Lords. However, I suppose the Master naming them after himself is on-brand at least. After all, he did once make an entire planet’s population into himself.

The Doctor is now forced to deal with the new information she’s been given by the Master. She rejects it at first, but the imagery of Brendan in her mind keeps giving her cause to doubt. It’s then that she sees the Ruth Doctor who helps her through her identity crisis long enough to help her escape the Matrix. Her plan to escape is to basically run through every life in her mind until it shorts out and forces the Matrix to release her. This entire sequence is rather silly when you consider the Matrix holds the entire lives of countless other Time Lords. No matter how many lives she had before the First Doctor, it’s not more than the Matrix can handle. What’s even sillier is the way in which they shot it, which was basically by having Jodie Whittaker squeeze her eyes shut and wince while holding her head. I was reminded of hacking scenes in movies where they throw a montage of symbols over the scene to make up for the fact that we’re basically watching some guy on a computer.

The montage is what is really worth mentioning, as it touched upon quite a few things from the Doctor’s past. Some of these things have been mysteries from as far back as the Tom Baker era. I’m speaking of course about the Morbius Doctors. For those of you not in the know, the Morbius Doctors were a series of images projected from the Doctor’s mind during a battle of wits between the Fourth Doctor and an evil Time Lord named Morbius. I had always assumed they were Morbius’ previous regenerations, but many have speculated that they were versions of the Doctor from before William Hartnell. Well, it would appear that this age-old debate can now be put to rest- those were definitely images of the Doctor.

I’d be lying if the nerd in me doesn’t kind of love this. Like I said, I try and keep an open mind. It’s even easier when the concept of Doctors existing before the First Doctor has been around for rather a long time. Andrew Cartmel’s "masterplan," was to introduce the idea of "the Other," which would be a Time Lord on par with Rassilon and Omega that was eventually "cloned," in a genetic loom into the First Doctor. However, the idea was paired back as it was decided the doing such a thing would reveal too much about the Doctor’s past, thus answering too much of the show’s central question- "Doctor Who?"

Was it too much? That’s really hard for me to say at this point. It’s a bit early to know for sure. It does certainly complicate things a bit. To paraphrase something Andrew Cartmel once said at a public appearance- these story elements are like barnacles on a ship. Each one of them attaches to the hull over time. They seem small at first, but they eventually begin to slow the ship down. Take the aforementioned regeneration limitation placed upon Time Lords back in 1976’s "The Deadly Assassin." While it worked for the story at the time, it gave Steven Moffat the unruly task of finding new ways for the Doctor to keep on regenerating. You’ll forgive the guy for not doing the Valeyard.

While the nerd in me does love that they touched upon some deep Doctor Who lore, part of me was also lamenting the introduction of so many new versions of the Doctor. I’ve got a special love for each incarnation of the Doctor. This is why I love the Eighth Doctor audios so much, as it gives us an even deeper understanding of his character, despite his limited screentime. Even the War Doctor was given the chance to develop. Where will the Ruth Doctor play into all of this? Why did she have a police box if she is pre-Hartnell? Is this “Division,” an actual division of the Timeless Child into multiple entities? Will we get to experience her Doctor in a deeper way that feels as fulfilling as the first Doctor of colour deserves? While I hold out some hope for her, what about the montage of children in Tecteun’s lab? Are we going to get comics and Big Finish audios starring some kid you saw for two seconds? (I kid, you know they will) On one hand, we see the first Asian Doctor, on the other hand, they don’t even get a speaking role. Even with so much being added to the Doctor’s history, I can’t help but feel slightly short-changed.

Speaking of short-changed, let’s talk about that ending. The Doctor’s plan actually works, releasing her from the Matrix’s hold, which oddly also releases her from the Agency Stripper™. Convenient! Her companions find her as she’s lying there unconscious. They managed to find her rather quickly considering the city is in ruins. Convenient! The Doctor finds Ashad’s death particle, which has been shrunk down by the Master’s tissue compression device. I’m not sure, but I think this is the reason the death particle is no longer a threat to the entire universe. It now only seems to pose a threat to the organic life on Gallifrey. Maybe this is because Gallifrey is still in its own pocket universe? Either way, it wasn’t very clear. The Doctor makes contact with the Master and pinpoints his location. Convenient! She calls him to the citadel like it was Friday Night Wrestling and they have their little showdown. I swear if they’d have started making out, I wouldn’t have batted an eye, those two.

After forcing her companions to stay behind on a TARDIS set for Earth, the Doctor heads back to have a final showdown with the Master. With the tiny Cyberman attached to an explosive device resembling a torch, the Doctor decides she must kill the Master and this new race of Cyber-Masters before they can kill all of humanity. Having the ability to regenerate, the only way to take these mechanoids down is with the death particle. This is a far cry from the Doctor we’ve seen in "Genesis of the Daleks," or even "Daleks Take Manhattan," where the Doctor would consider such things "genocide." However, the Doctor gets a total cop-out moment as Ko Sharmus shows up long enough to detonate the device himself. After very little prompting, the Doctor allows him to sacrifice himself as she flees.

This, for me at least, is a longstanding problem with Chris Chibnall’s morality. It’s the Thirteenth Doctor’s weird relationship with guns all over again. As if to prove Davros’ point from "Journey’s End," this Doctor feels all too comfortable with allowing others to do her dirty work. Imagine the scene from "The Day of the Doctor," when Clara is standing there looking of the Doctors about to collectively blow up Gallifrey. It’s as if when she said "I never pictured you doing it," instead of changing his mind, the Doctor would say "You know, you’re right. You do it!” There’s a kind of mean spirited morality lurking beneath Chibnall’s writing. Or as my friend Adro jokingly put it- "I would not want to be his S&M partner."

The Doctor sends her companions and the last humans in the galaxy back to the 21st century. Surely no bootstrap paradoxes will come from Yedlarmi or Ethan making future generations of their own ancestors. Time Lords have bigger things to worry about than time anomalies. Right? Oh right. Graham and Ravio still seem perfectly capable of continuing their relationship, so that’s at least something. I also highly doubt either of them are likely to sire any paradoxical offspring any time soon. Though they are still fully capable of raising the sheep that go on to start the Wooly Rebellion. After finding herself pleasantly surprised to be alive, the Doctor finds her way back to her own TARDIS. However, before she can scoop up her companions, she’s intercepted by an angry Judoon who arrests her and throws her into space jail. I imagine this has something to do with why the Ruth Doctor was a "Fugitive of the Judoon."

After all is said and done, it’s really hard to pin down exactly how I feel about this episode. I do applaud the bold move of expanding the Doctor’s canon to include previous regenerations. I’ve always said that Doctor Who does occasionally need a showrunner willing to put their neck on the line. For better or worse, John Nathan-Turner was great for doing exactly that. Sometimes it’s a good thing to shake things up, and really dust off the cobwebs. Though strangely, a lot of tonight’s episode was very non-committal. The Master could very well have been lying. Gallifrey could also still very easily be restored by using the Matrix’s memory. I personally would appreciate that as I love both Romana and Leela. The idea of the two of them dead and eaten away by the death particle is rather distressing. While I liked watching Jodie get a bit snippy and knocking the Master to the ground, I feel like a she never got a moment to be the Doctor. Her “Aha!” moment was short-lived and not very clever. She spends most of the episode either locked up or feeling helpless.

Also, where the hell was Captain Jack? What the hell Chibnall? How are they going to just give us five minutes of John Barrowman? It seems weird to introduce him only to put it off until the next series. However, the most egregious of sins for "The Timeless Children," is how utterly predictable it all was. As I illustrated above, I was able to imagine the entire concept of the Timeless Child the very first time I heard it mentioned. I put no deep effort into it either. It seemed like the most obvious storyline. The same could be said about people’s Ruth theories. Some of which were even better. The only way in which the episode could have surprised me was by making the Master the Timeless Child. It was the one point where I really perked up and began to feel a real interest in the plot. But alas, no, they went the incredibly obvious route. This isn’t to say they won’t be able to do interesting things with this in the future. The issue I’m having is that if I am able to figure out the plot just by hearing a single line of dialogue, did I even need to watch it?

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