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sixtypackofcrayola · 2 years

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👁👁 LMK GENSHIN AU??? I AM L I S T E N I N G

OK OK A COUPLE PEOPLE ASKED SO HERE I GO NO THIS WILL NOT BE FORMALLY WRITTEN :SMILE: 'm just gonna ramble!! aannndd hope i make some kinda sense theresss gonna be some holes and things i havent come up with n ill mention them but ppl are lucky ta fill stuff in with their own ideas n feed this brainrot<33

okaayyy so first is mk right so abt mk's vision,, mk is like the last in the little hero group to get a vision. hes been tryin for SO LONG to get one and ever since mei got hers hes been kinda more driven to get one himself. he knows theres like- special circumstances involved n hes been tryin to like get that cool thing to happen so they can get theirs but,,, nothins worked yet yknow mk like tries to make guess abt what vision theyre gonna get one day and mei thinks mk is gonna get pyro and like woah cool just like his da-- i mean pigsy!!! so hes not sayin itd be his one and only choice but thinkin about it and what tang has said abt visions he thinks pyro is def possible bc hes real passionate about a lot of things!! like his job and his friendships and MONKEY KING LORE and yknow all that good stuff so he gets it after doin somethin similar to the big fight at the end of a hero is born just- beatin' the SHIT out dbk ig along with his friends and while hes there and struggling but knowin he has to defeat this guy for the sake of everyone he ends up getting his vision and he doesnt focus on the element too much (it does end up being geo) at first its more just HOW TF DO I USE THIS NOW.. but he ends up doin somethin real wacky and BOOM dbk gone 4 now and like after all that is over n we're back to chilling he and the others r like celebrating bc WOO mk got his vision AND we defeating a huge demon!! and mei is like huh i really thought u were gonna get pyro like me and tang is like pushes up glasses well acTUALLY-- and proceeds to explain why geo visions r given to people and all that and while mk does have a lot of passion which would make it make sense 4 him to have a pyro vision hes far more hardworking with his job already and now that hes monkey kid hes gonna b working even harder to protect people mk's been working hard all his life really, not just with his job and now defeating demons, hes been working hard to get a vision so he could be something greater, his bio parents he doesnt remember much about but they were always so unimpressed and demanding so he tried real hard to live up to their expectations and make them happy because he wants his friends and family 2 be happy,, and hes always tried hard to be something more than what he is as he got older and all the monkey king stories really inspired him a lot and thats why hes loved all this lore and stuff for so many years but like,, he could never be a hero like that,,, oh wait anywho mk is a geo polearm(?) user, dunno if ya could call the staff a polearm buuut thats what im goin' with hes also got monkey king's abilities along with the geo ones so ohu boy,, ill talk more abt that part when i get to wukong and mac ALSO I FEEL LIKE MK COULD ALSO BE PYRO AND I COULD CHANGE IT BUT,, I LIKE GEO TOO,,,, oops all pyro traffic light trio????

next is mei who is a pyro sword,, i dont know much abt her backstory/vision story yet sooo if ya wanna spit some ideas im all ears BC I FEEL BAD NOT HAVIN MORE STUFF FOR HER

i dont got much for red son either buuut heres what i do got; red son kinda already has,, magic of sorts bc,, yknow partial demon (in this hes only like,, half technically. yknow how yanfei is like half adeptus-) but its amplified a bunch by the vision and WOO FIRE and theyre a pyro catalyst honestly debating on whether or not they wold have a book or whatever that other floaty thingy is called but like when i imagine either they kinda look similar to dodoco tales or blackcliff agate hmm,, red's two big passions are building and cooking- his tech could possibly rival that of fontaine's advancements if he wanted it to,, they actually take some inspiration from the works of fontaine as well as for the cooking, u already know, spice master. i want a cooking battle with them and xiangling- they'd laugh at the hottest option on the menu at wanmin red son got their vision pretty early in life- a bit older than he was in canon,, which was still a problemmm and ya can guess why,, demon power fire element amplification little tempermental fire demon boy go boom boom samadhi fire or somethin,, so yeah theyre not as powerful as they could be and the vision was actually taken from them until they were older and more mature i suppose red doesnt remember this- they think they got their vision at an older age since it kinda just appeared by him one morning

tang is dendro but like he doesnt fight so he hasnt found a weapon yet- i think itd be real funny if he was a CLAYMORE or maybe a sword bc of that one episode yknow the one,, but honestly catalyst could work too and hed def have a book one if so dont got a backstory or vision story for him either :( nor do i have much for pigsy but pyro,, somethin. y'all can add to pigsy's stuff if ya want i also feel bad for not havin anything for him but passion = cooking woo

sandy,, hydro catalyst def and hed have a book one too,, i think its a little funny seein this huge ass dude and ur like "oh he could totally wield a claymore" and he could but hes got his little magic book and could still beat the shit out of anyone (not that he would unless needed,, but he COULD)

mo. thats it. just mo.

now to the two givin me the most trouble,,,, wukong and macaque i didnt think too much abt what visions macaque and wukong would have bc like,, they have a lot of powers that could fit each vision really and i was like "AUGH should wukong be pyro or geo or maybe anemo???" and like "should macaque be cryo maybe but agghh electro could also fit but GAH" could they be like,, adepti maybe?? m not sure,, im thinkin adepti with no like specified element but aaauuggh or maybe its a traveler sort of deal with like all the elements but i like the adeptus thing a bit more- then again uhh genshin lore,,,,, yeah i can not keep up with all of it</3 so if it makes no sense it makes no sense,, y'all might have 2 catch me up if somehow they wouldnt b able to be adepti but i still wanna keep somethin similar to monkey king's whole story n whatnot,,

last thing uh,, mk part adeptus or at least starting to match adeptal power now that hes got the staff and monkey king powers?? not sure again genshin lore is,, tricky and then that plus the geo vision

wellll thats all i gots for now,, if i come up with more ill post it, but for nows this is the basis again feel free ta add or share thoughts cause this is very unfinished and like one of those things u think of and throw into ur notes at like 5am and i somehow put no thought and a ton of thought into it at the same time<//3 OK THANKS 4 LISTENING TO MY DUMB MONKEY PLUS GENSHIN THINGY

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tumblunni · 6 years

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Man, god, im just suddenly thinking about "ak/ur/oku" and like.. How the fuck did that even become such a huge thing in early 2000s fandom? Dear god so much early gay shipping in fandom was super unhealthy "sinful" bullshit made by straight people for fetishy purposes rather than genuine representation. But a/kurok/u was such a weird one because it was like.. Just globally accepted and never aknowledged to be problematic?? Man i still remember how lil 13 year old me didnt know there was anything wrong with it, like seriously when stuff like this becomes popularized it ends up sending bad messages to actual queer youth. Learning about your sexuality via the internet cos there's no sex ed irl for you, abd you end up stumbling into toxic fandoms before you have the critical thinking skills necessary to know that this stuff is bad and shouldnt be imitated. Like seriously one of the things i worry about EVERY NIGHT AT 2AM THAT KEEPS ME FROM SLEEPING is that stupid lil 15 year old me made a post on deviantart going like "are pedophiles really all bad? I mean it sounds like an illness. I mean maybe theyre just scared and they want help." Like im terrified constantly that someone will find that old thing and judge me as if i still believe that apologist crap, or as if it was actually an opinion i formed from a fully developed mind, rather than from a kid who (as far as i knew) had never met a pedophile, thinking about pedophiles in the abstract, while being influenced by fuckin pedophile-dominated fandoms and having NO IDEA. and of cooooourse i wanted to believe that i was mature for my age, i thought that was a compliment.. Uuuuugh...

Sorry, going a little offtopic there.

But anyway isnt it kinda weird how akur/oku was just.. Not even regarded as pedophilia? And when i was a kid it wasnt just me not understanding the gross parts of the fandom, i legit never thought axel was that much older than roxas. And it was one of the more popular gay ships cos at that point as far as we knew it was the only person axel had any sort of backstory with, and he cared so much about this guy that he was willing to sacrifice his life to help sora even when he knew roxas would never come back. At the time without further context it seemed like a reasonable assumption to make? And it wasnt until Days that i realized axel was intended to be an adult rather than a teenager, and even worse A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO MADE THAT SHIPPING ART KNEW THAT. Uuugh it was so gross in retrospect to go back and see all the clues i missed that these people were fetishizing roxas's inexperience and veey much writing him as underage. AAAAAAA!

Anyway im glad that shit is now recognized as shit and now we have canon evidence of this dude being old as balls. And honestly i love the relationship of him as a big brother/dad to roxas and xion a lot more, even though as a kid i was desperate for any kind of queer representation in kh. Like.. I never really actually liked the ship that much or felt any chemistry? I just latched onto a few bad writing flubs that could potentially be interpreted as Gay Evidence because i was SO damn desperate! Like i felt like i had to support all these gross abusive ships in fandom cos if i wasnt then i was being 'homophobic', i mean they were THE ONLY AVAILABLE OPTIONS, right? :( Its only now ive grown up i can see how wrong that was, and how people just used it as an excuse to make gross shit and get away with it. Like how in Black Butler all these 'yaoi fangirls' kept erasing the rarest of rare things, a canon trans woman, because 'its sexier if its gay'. Ughhhh. And seriously that discourse still exists for poor Grell, and there's still a lot of these shitty bigoted people pretending to be allies, but like seriously this was EVERYWHERE in 2005! And lgbt rights and even lgbt communities at all were way smaller and less available to the poor teenagers who really needed that positive influence while they were figuring out who they are. So man the abusive side of yaoi fandom was WAY more powerful, and wya more.mainstream, with barely any criticism. And the whole content of this fandom was creepy fuckin adults making pedo porn, and kids who just discovered they were queer and tried to headcanon their favourote characters as being like them. Fucking predator heaven! So yeh that ruined KH for me and definately made me scared of returning to Black Butler for almost a decade. And then i found out that the manga itself has none of that pedo shit and that one of the fandom's biggest abusive gay man archetypes was actually a trans woman this entire time, and just gahhhhh....

Also like seriously this is a tad offtopic but can we kill the anime trope of either everyone looking young or everyone looking old? Or creepy things where just one character looks the wrong age in order to fetishize pedophilia? I dont think kingdom hearts was one of those intentional ones, like i mean there's super bad shit where its like 'this 5 year old looking person is really 9000 years old/actually 18 and just hasnt had their growth spurt yet' (somehow its even more insulting when theres not even a magical excuse) Or the other way around and we have a character thats canonically underage but drawn looking sexually mature with big ol knockers so its somehow okay. The existence of those horrible things is why i end up feeling uncomfortable even seeing ambiguous ages as just a trope in completely innocent anime, yknow? Like in pokemon and digimon all the 10 year old protagonists are exactly the same height as all the adults, and all the female love interests for ash have to be early bloomers in terms of chest and hips, while notably Iris is the only one who actually looks her age and also the first non love interest. Its another reason why i prefer the new art style for the latest season, they make everyone look like kids and Lillie continues to look like a kid even though she's the main girl and has all the cute scenes with Ash. The girls even got very normal looking kiddy swimsuits in the beach episode! Why is that so uncommon, to find the bare minimum thing of underage kids not being sexualized at the beach??

Soooooo yeah, thats at least part of why kid me thought axel and roxas were within a similar age range. Like i thought roxas was maybe 16 and axel was 18?? Somehow?? I dont even know, kingdom hearts isnt even SUPER bad with the 'kids look like older teens,all adults look like age 20 at the most' anime syndrome. Its probably more because id been raised on games and anime that followed that trope, before i played kh. And as a kid you just dont really know the exact differences between 'old', like i mean i knew teenagers were tall and boys get a growth spurt, so somehow it made sense to me that axel could be the same age as roxas?? And man even if i knew he wasnt, i was barely educated at all about pedophilia and i didnt know the nuances of it. I just knew 'its bad for adults to marry kids' like man i was really behind the curve in general learning due to my undiagnosed autism and abusive parenting so like HERE'S 12 YEAR OLD ME NOT EVEN THINKING ABOUT THE SEX ASPECT. And i didnt know that adults in relationships with teenagers was bad too, or like 16/17 year old teens dating kids... I was so fuckin dumb... I really cant believe that not only did i believe stupid adults saying 'pedophilia isnt bad if you're non offending, its okay to make cartoon child porn as long as you dont physically abuse real kids' but also i somehow just DID NOT EVER REALIZE that axel was an adult and roxas wasnt even a goddamn older teen...

So yeh im making a lot of excuses for why my stupid younger self was blindly parroting bullshit, but im not trying to excuse how goddamn wrong and bad it was. I still wake up ashamed in the middle of the night for crapoy decisions i made as a dumb kid, and in terrified that some shreds of it might still exist out there on the internet and maybe someone else could read it?! Gahhhh! Seriously could i have accidentally helped spread that bullshit brainwashing to other kids? And seriously when people say this shit is harmless they just need to look at this, look at how being into problematic yaoi is such a common 'phase' for ACTUAL CHILDREN. Like its not fuckin NATURAL for kids to fall into this stuff, they do it because they dont know any better but the people making the goddamn founding blocks of the fandom are fuckin grown women fetishizing gay men or grown men fetishing lesbians. There's people who do know better who actually conciously decide that a/kurok/u is a good ship while knowing all the goddamn details of what it actually is and exactly what theyre supporting by shipping it. Ughhhhh!

So yeh fuckin Please Stay Safe In Fandom, Kids

And pedophiles have absolutely none of my sympathy, please ignore that goddamn shit i wrote as a little kid being fuckin groomed by a fandom without even knowing it.

This also applies a lot to the rest of LGBT+ aside from just gay shipping, like seriously it took me til age 18 to find any positive representation of trans people or even a proper explanation of what being trans is, yet before i was even 8 years old i'd seen a million 'lol gross man in a dress who gets sexual gratification from wearing women's underwear' jokes in kids shows. And when i was 12 i'd already been exposed to the fuckin hell of m/pre/g thanks to its prevelance of untagged n/sf/w shit in the kh fandom. And by age 15 i'd been exposed to pedophile apologists arguing whether child porn was okay if they only got off to that and didnt personally abuse that kid with their own hands. All of that shit but actually learning about homosexuality and gender in sex ed would have been 'too much' for someone my age...

God what a fuckin mess. Fuck im really really fuckin worried that any of my ignorant comments at those ages could have been read by other ignorant kids and contributed to that disgusting fandom atmosphere. Fuck i think about this so damn often im so damn ashamed of how ignorant i used to be yet i know the adult fuckfaces making pedo shit never reel one lick of shame any damn day of their life. I used to excuse their shit as an actual kid cos i just ASSUMED they would be ashamed and want to seek help! Gahhhh..

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possibilistfanfiction · 7 years

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hey jude!!! just read ur last anon abt being nb and wondered if u could talk abt ur own gender experience?

well basically i didnt grow up in a very open household, like rly Zero discussion of gender, so i know i Experienced gender entirely but i played almost exclusively with the boys in my class until probably grade 6 or 7, & at puberty, even tho i was a better athlete than most boys in my class still, i started hanging out with girls more, at recess, etc. i was always into androgyny, even if i had no idea (& i didn’t) what that was—i liked some femme things, absolutely, but i wanted nothing to do w skirts or pretty shoes. i wanted to be in adidas running sneakers 24/7 if i could help it, & i wore a uniform to school w the option of a skirt/pants, & im p sure i always wore pants. at the time this, to me, seemed more functional, & it was, but it was also, as i can understand now, something that made me feel Less like a girl, although not at all like a boy.

when i was older, 12, 13, 14, my parents wanted me to dress nicer, & i was v much into like american eagle shit, although by mid hs i was into some vintage stuff. one rly big odd style influence for me was mia wasikowksa in this weird movie called restless bc it was this v soft femme androgyny & i think for me this kind of gender expression became very important to see & understand. it wasn’t that she didn’t look like a girl, or that she wasn’t a girl, but she also sometimes looked like a boy, or wore boys clothes, but she wasn’t butch. idk this movie sent me for a loop honestly lol.

& obviously my understanding of gender expression didn’t correlate (& doesn’t correlate!) w so many gender identities, & “passing” is extremely harmful as a notion, etc. but when i was younger my understanding of gender & sexuality was very limited & began to expand when i saw very femme but still andro ppl, even tho i couldn’t articulate it at the time.

when i was a teenager i knew i didnt want to rly have a single thing to do w any boy, which made me sure i was a lesbian bc thats the only narrative i’d rly known abt queerness, or queer women, or even queer ppl who presented as femme. there werent any out lesbians at my school (no fucking way), & the only out queer kid at all was a white gay guy a year older than me, who was popular in the way white gay boys can be popular in high school. but i read voraciously, was fascinated by the crossdressing in shakespeare (paris in the merchant of venice was a particular fixation of mine?) & anyway. i knew i was queer, i knew i liked girls, & i knew i was outrageously uncomfortable w my body, particularly my breasts. for a long time i thought this was because i was ashamed of my sexuality, when i came to sort of understand that, but ofc now i know abt dysmorphia & dysphoria, so yknow. knowledge.

when i went to college i came out big time, & it became very important to me to both be queer & look sort of queer but not queer enough to be Queer—i wanted ppl to be like ‘maybe into girls, but maybe straight.’ as im sure many of us know, this was a lot of internalized shame abt a lot of things, so that sucks. however, i cut my hair which was like the first comfortable thing i had done for my appearance in a v long time, & also smth which my parents hated & i did anyway. i wore a Lot of rly femme stuff bc they hated it tho? so this was all v confusing for me bc my parents are v homophobic, & here i was in college starting to read queer theory & gender theory & falling in love w like. the most beautiful, brilliant girl, & also spiraling into a mixed episode after i got diagnosed w bipolar I, which sort of put everything else on the backburner for a year.

eventually tho i sorted that out (as much as u can sort smth like that out) & i started to rly pay attention to androgyny. i went to europe & i think theres a whole bunch of nuances to fashion that exist there that certainly arent here, & i spent a winter in warsaw so there were aspects to fashion & expression there that were entirely abt functionality, which i was v attracted to. in college, as well, & especially after college, gender became smth i was v much invested in bc i was (& absolutely am) a feminist, so my place in the canon & zeitgeist was one as a queer female writer. it was so so central to who i was, & what i was writing abt. every single thing i wrote in college was in some way a balm, some sort of piece abt myself, learning abt trauma & the body. sorting through a lot of hurt. i could write a theory piece abt elizabeth bishop & reading it back now i know it was also abt me, that kinda stuff.

when i went to toronto i rly rly started being invested in looking critically at gender & my experience of it bc being read as a woman was smth that was grating on me, even tho i had identified as woman for so long, & had no desire at all to transition. i know 100% i am not a trans man, so that was confusing for a long time because i sort of knew there was a space between but it was very hard to conceptualize. eventually i sort of came to understand gender is a color wheel where cis boys are blue & cis women are pink & then theres literally a ton of other colors out there, so yknow. lots of different experiences of gender. some days i feel much more strongly like i identify w women (in mostly political situations, it matters to me to be read as “female” sometimes bc rights for ppl w vaginas AND trans women are FUCKED UP in so many places). some days i hate the idea of identifying as a woman. i also never want to identify as a man. so when i was in toronto i rly started to know a LOT of queer ppl w so many different expressions of gender. & we were all young & lovely & open & fucked up & we would get fucked up but we would also go read together in the park & wander around alleys in the snow & like. there’s a Muchness to toronto that i experienced that helped me, personally, understand these intersections between my own sexuality & gender & expression as much more than just a gay woman who isn’t butch & isn’t femme. i was rly lucky to become part of a community that identified as Queer, & so i became v much understanding of these different aspects of my own identity that fell outside of binary—my sexuality, my gender. Queerness is a vital & profound thing to me & i was rly able (& so fortunate) to have a close friend group of mostly queer ppl & then a few of the actual literally most incredible allies i’ve ever known & will ever know.

so then from there i just rly kinda thought abt things & like i got a binder & stuff in TO but rly started to evaluate my dysmorphia & dysphoria (i had struggled really badly w an eating disorder in/post college) & was able to sort out that so much of it had to do w feeling uncomfortable in the way my body was read in the world. & that will always happen bc i LOVE makeup & i have a “feminine” voice & sometimes i love skirts & i shave my legs bc i like how it feels sometimes & i dont ever want to go on T—none of these things make anyone ANY gender, but ofc theyre coded as “female.” but i’m learning to just yknow educate where i can & take a lot of solace in the community of ppl i have fostered who support & understand my Being. i’ve also allowed myself to be invested in aesthetics & fashion & how much a role that plays bc like. yah fuck Yah i look cool shit bc my friends love it & absolutely i wanna wear the same vans maia mitchell has & i want a melodrama hoodie & i LOVE local toronto designers & their angsty patches abt sad songs & whiskey but i love fashion born out of histories that is connected to smth i can understand, like queer punk movements, or smth my friends & i share, like blundstones (which are gender neutral, which is cool). i’m fascinated in how ppl express their Selves, & we are so unfortunately Finite in our bodies in the sense that that’s rly how the world, in our day to day interactions, processes who & what we are. so i invest in the care of mine by trying to listen to it, trying to make it comfortable—& clothing is a huge thing that can do that. also its fun so anyone who thinks loving (ethical, cool) fashion is vain can eat my ass

anyway lmao now i have a p decent sense, atm at least, of what makes my body its most comfortable (even if that is v far from Comfortable at times). i love my tattoos, & i basically never rly want long hair again i’m p sure, & i love makeup, & if i could wear vans or blundstones every day for the entirety of my life at this point that would be incredible. those are easy things, & i try to allow my body, in its cultural place, to have access to them as much as possible, which is so important to me in a sense of having access to a physical space that matches my mental space of gender identity. politically sometimes i feel v v much a “woman” in terms of my lived experience, & i allow that of myself as well. sometimes when i write it’s important to me that my poetry be read as a queer person but also someone who is culturally coded as a woman, bc those are still always central concerns of my work—the trauma, the power there. but day to day i’m mostly happy spending my time obsessing over other things, like what to call this new genre of music halsey & lorde are making, or why my dog stevie is a Fanatic when it comes to ice cubes. ive come to enough terms w my gender, & my sexuality—& the expression thereof—that unless someone is talking abt gender, or someone asks me a question, it’s not smth that is constantly on my mind, which is. Nice. its so nice lol.

also i would like to point out that i know my experience being non binary is rly rly white & western in so many ways & i get that. my cultural experience of non binary gender is also v much this like. ive felt frustrated before but never in my life have i felt scared to be non-binary while i was like out & abt in the world, bc i still pass as a cis white woman literally everywhere all the time (which has its pros & cons but like, still, a lot of privilege). so i do try to keep all of that in mind as well when i try to center myself & all that jazz

& who tf knows where all of that will take me. i feel like, bc ive learned to listen to my body & my brain so much better than i did when i was younger—even when they might hate themselves—i am so much better at filling up a space in the world that occupies smth healthy. which is not smth i take lightly, & i’m also so open to changes, as long as they feel good & beneficial & true. which is sort of new for me. who knows man ur mid twenties are a wild ride

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isaacathom · 6 years

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ok this is actually a fun bit of writing here, even if the preceding shit was kinda garbage

tl;dr this bitch has to rant about this stupid book because i naively want to learn something about my family’s history and this is the only fucken way to do it

‘When he discovered he had to work to help provide for this instant family of a large flock of children, ‘Mick’ showed his true self and devotion to the family.

Within a year of the marriage, he left the fold, leaving his wife to fend for herself in the daunting task of raising her children.’

like.aside from just being kinda awkwardly worded (he bangs On and On about how his mum was the 11th of 11 children like fuck i get it its a big family, holy shit) i think thats just. a good concept there. the space really sells the punch. wouldve been better if we hadnt been told beforehand that Mick was a cunt, yknow. but thats nice

also lets keep going. ‘6 step brothers and 4 step sisters’ theyre actually her Half Siblings. they all share the same mother. theyre related. she’d be step if she was adopted, which she was not, because if she were, surely we wouldve been told about those circumstances.

‘[his mother] easily met that high standard as she was a very pretty young lady’ please dont perv out over your fucking mother you pig of a man. also you would hope ‘jock’ (his name is fucking robert but ok, Jock) was interested in more than how pretty Nellie was when they got together, right......... like there had to be more to it. am i naive? perhaps

‘scottish clan gordon’ the what. but we arent gordons???? are you. are you hundred percent sure. are you positive about this. are you sure thats why your name is gordon. alright buddy

‘according to buzzy’s story’ please never refer to yourself in the third person

‘hotels rarely burn down’ ?? i dont buy that at all. my guess is this famous hotel (which.... you didnt name so ok)

ok so theres a picture in here of my dad standing at some random gate, and he says its the same gate as a picture of his dad..... where is THAT picture??? this picture means nothing without that historic context, and it feels hollow if the actual picture isnt there.

granddad you dont. you dont need to wikipedia article dump me information about glasgow??? i mean sure, cool, id rather just be reading the wikipedia article.

jesus christ. so hes talking about his dad, right. who he’d technically set up earlier by saying he came to melbourne at 19. before he launched into a whole thng about his mother and shit. and suddenly hes come back to his dad to explain that his dad (so gordons grandfather) used to beat him! and its like, wOAH, where the fuck did that come from??? shit dude. thats rough. but he just mentions it suddenly out of nowhere. oH JESUS actually. sorry. i misread (yknow, because its written like shit). he means.... his brother??? right, he means his Brother Robert, was beaten by his dad, also named Robert, who was the one who came to melbourne aged 19. ok. ok that makes slightly more structural sense but ooof. ouch. poor robert (the younger). in my uh, defence, this book is written awful and i've never met robert? (my.... understanding is that he probably died before i was born? like with mary, who i dont recall having met either)

ok uhhh ‘most of the gorbal’s tenemenets were eventually demolished by the wise founding fathers many decades later, in the 1980s’ the WHOM. this isnt fucking america, this is scotland, what in the actual fuck are you TALKING about????????????????????????????? ‘modern day replacement improvements and architecture designed to achieve, what?’ fucker they were trying to fix the mistake they made in crowding 90k people into the fucking gorbals. maybe they didnt succeed (they didnt) but they were trying, it was naivete rather than fucking malice, you bitter old fuck. like, you visited in the 1980s.... and published this book in 2007......... without thinking to check back......... like hey maybe theyve gotten better? (newsflash - they fucking have) sooo... fuck

‘could the [my family] be related? [to the mcdonalds]’ yes??? we literally are. theres no question of that. being a sept of clanranald, we are Literally related to the fucking macdonalds. you absolute buffoon. yea its distant, and maybe thats your point, but when combined with you launching into this giant diatribe about rhw Campbells for shit that happened long ago, it seems youre picking and choosing how close ‘related’ is. we are. literally. related to the macdonalds. also it wasnt thought up in glasgow, they were from fucking new hampshire. but sure.

‘his sheila wife of his’ excuse me?

‘so the name was related to a buzzing bee i suppose’ ? i still dont get it. like, he then explains that apparently his twin sister had difficulty saying Brother, so she called him Buzzy. that makes sense to me. i can understand that. but the buzzing bee thing? not sure i follow, given the prior context he provided. i dont get it. this is written like garbage. theres no structure. we went from jumping forward in time to the birth of my uncle Dale (my dads older brother) and suddenly we’re talking about Mick’s running career and gordon’s childhood! what the fuck happened.

‘coupled with the bigoted attitudes that were rife during those periods’ says the man who got angry at a black (i THINK, mightve been a separate story) frenchman who couldnt speak english in France because ‘we saved them’. fuck off. youre just like them, you old codger.

also hes decrying his grandfather mick for being ‘no true irishman’ even though micks dad was full irish? by that exact same metric i can call my grandfather no true scotsman, because his dad is full scottish and thats it!!! you fucking fool. no true irishman, holy shit, how little self awareness could this man have.

‘then excessive drinking liquor isnt for me’ but is Is for your wife, is it gordon??? drinking wine when shes on antibiotics??? fucking incredible. god theyre. theyre so stupid.

‘not proceeding as a scholar as i could have’ you literally admitted like 5 pages ago that your twin sister was Far smarter than you, but sure! ~scholar~. if you were meant to be a scholar surely you wouldve bounded back from missing days with a vengeance. youre talking complete tosh.

im confused why theyd be doing bombing drills in South Yarra.... in preparation from a japanese air raid.... like im sorry, if the people north are doing their jobs, theres no physical way they couldve gotten to south yarra....... but ok. thats not his fault i just think thats strange.

im 110 pages in and he hasnt actually gotten to the point where he meets eleanor??? aside from a few time jumps forward and a brief mention of ‘meeting her in a milk bar in south yarra’ so like. hoi vey? the fuck.

oh jesus thats. thats a heavy thing to just chuck in the middle of a sentence??? like ‘oh yea after Skete the next scout leader was a paedophile who abused me and the others’ wwwOooahhh there buddy back up. what???? holy shit. ouch. thats. thats rough.

‘absolutely belted this poofta bastard’ yknow what? fair. id also beat the fuck out of a pedo with my boot. thats Relatable. good going on that, i suppose.

ooh thats full third person, weird.

one thing that is definitely kinda interesting, and very telling about his relationship with his family, is that he only ever refers to Nellie as ‘mum’, but refers to Mick as, well, Mick! rather than ‘granddad’ or anything of the sort. like its just sorta interesting when you get this big family photo and Nellie is the only one not called by her first name.

‘returning to those earlier days’ NO! FUCKING MOVE FORWARD IN TIME YOU GIT!!!! holy shit i just want to read about new fucking shit.

......... so like, at some point while playing footy, an opposing player kicked him in the leg and caused a fractured tibia. so a few weeks later... one of gordons friends took a mark on that player and kneed him straight in the head, with that player never playing again. and he’s PROUD of that!!! he’s proud of his friend for ruining a guys footy career. like yea, the guy was a dick, he broke your leg and it was at least partially malicious, but like........... you fucked him up????? hardcore?????? a straight up ruination. but go off i guess.

its interesting that he doesnt go even remotely into eleanors history beyond the fact (so far) that her father Leo didnt say much but was a good dude. then again the books all about him soooo fuck it i suppose.

‘recognition of our scottish heritage’ eleanor isnt scottish tho. shes irish. shes an o'donoghue. what the fuck. like yea naming them dale and glen is a ‘clever’ nod back to scotland (i actually do think thats cute and clever, joking aside. its the exact sort of ‘clever’ shit i love pulling) but............. shes not scottish. unless we’re waiting for volume 2 all about eleanor.

hE USED TO LIVE OUT HERE??????? IN SPRINGVALE????? fuck me. no fucking wonder we live here, huh, jesus. that. certainly explains something, i suppose. like ‘if you were raised in holbrook and YOU were raised in thomastown, why do we live in knox?’

OHHHHH HERES THE FRENCH THING!!!! OHHHH HERES ONE OF THE FRENCH THINGS. OH BITCH behold

so granddads being a dick, as usual, and he’s on some tour in paris. and the tour guide launches into a long thing about the glory of france, like french history and the fighting record, etc. and granddad calls out and tells him to knock it off, because ‘our australians died by the thousands for your country’

i. eh... uhh............... is he. is he aware? of how many french people died???? for france?????? how many????? il tell you how many - apparently 1.44% of the total population of france. thats 600000 people. how many did we lose? around 35k. thats, uh, a smaller fucking number. than the amount of french people. who died. for fucking france. you fucking idiot.

it kills me. is he gonna include the french speaking one too???

oh hell that sure is a picture of my father. good heavens. holy shit my brother really does look like him. thats uncanny, man.

‘one son Scotty’ his name is Scott, actually. not scotty. but cool, i got a really small shout out, weirdly BEFORE my older cousins did???? oh dear is he gonna talk about my uncles divorce actually. oh god. thats. thats terrifying to consider. oh, cool, he didnt in that small section, hopefully it doesnt come up haha (i can only IMAGINE what sort of vile shit he’d say about cathy)

also, ooh, more nuggets on grandma’s family. her dad was a freemason! thats cool.

ooh! he was the president of holbrook shire council! thats kinda neat actually.

ooh! the glenndale motel actually still exists! thats cool as hell. not that granddad told me that i just googled it

OHHH ITS THE FUCKING FRENCH SPEAKING STORY OH MY GOD

Ok first off ‘i slammed my fist into the counter and said very calmly’ yea no fuck that, youre fucking lying. theres no way you slammed the counter and spoke calmly. you almost definitely abused this poor french metro worker who, being a French Man living in France, is not required to know english. you fucking babboonnnnnnnnnn

apparently he nearly fell off a mountain innnnnn geeermany? austria, austria. and as he mentions my dad pulling him back up, he words it as ‘stopping me from falling to my final destiny’ what fucking wording IS that. my god.

uh well ok thats. about it i suppose. there was a big hullabuloo about like, hotels and shit, and there was probably some racism about Islanders in there (like i find it hard to believe there wasnt but im not gonna go back and double check, because this book reads like absolute garbage). but eh. yea?

uuhhh so that was an Adventure, for sure

#long post #book liveblog #theres no like tags for this its just me reading a stupid fucking memoir my granddad wrote with 0 fucking oversight #half of it is almost definitely inaccurate or straight up incorrect. the rest is just poorly written and structured #ike it was a chore to get through because my eyes just bounce off the page because it reads like how I fucking type on the internet #but without any intent! my shit grammar is at least supposed to convey fuckin. speech patterns or something #his writing is just poorly thought out and hasnt been edited in the slightest and its just Disgusting my guy

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isaacathom · 6 years

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thooough kevlar is supposed to stop bullets, ya. so in theory, even if the Captain had managed to get the shot off, Esther could have still been reasonably fine. understandably shaken and probably bruised, but fine. of course that also depends on what GUN the Captain actually has? like ive basically been working off something thats not remotely automatic. no burst fire. basically a semi auto. a rifle would be ideal except that the scenario is is close quarters, making a rifle pretty fucking stupid, so it has to be some sort of handgun. raising the question Why does he have a handgun if the military is expected to be at range, and how did he get the scenario to let him get so close as to invalidate his rifle?

also he probably would actually have an auto of some kind, but for dramatic purposes id rather not? simply because then its far more difficult for him to be disarmed without basically killing Esther in the meantime. if its semi-auto, then in theory he can fire one shot that misses and then be disarmed before a second bullet can be fired. if he has an auto, you squeeze the trigger and youve already launched a small volley and even if Seora bends the goddamn world to stop it, at LEAST one would likely hit Esther, not to speak of the multitude more bullets that could then be fired between the initial trigger pull and the disarm from Seora. so for dramatic purposes he cannot have an automatic. like a full auto.

which then means the actual circumstances surrounding the shot have to be changed in order for him to even be capable of using his semi auto rifle with any confidence. which works fine, i suppose. maybe the reasoning behind the military having semi autos rather than full autos is because they’d likely want to be picking off combatants at range with a /degree/ of stealth. considering in general the combatants are Blue Mages that’d be pretty important. the moment they’re alerted, you basically can’t really get them as easily. immediate dirt wall, immediate scalding hot guns, etc. toasty. so like.... i guess like sniper rifles???? except theyre just.... regular rifles..... yknow actually that doesnt make a fuck ton of sense. hold on. uh.

actually, one important thing re: guns is that they were likely invented AFTER the schism and after any fighting between the two countries. so the guns would never have actually been used for their intended purpose, that being to shoot Dusk Maidens before they can use magic. So they are unlikely to have been field tested in the practical sense. plus theres the fact that metals are rare in the Light Kingdom, so they might have been limited in terms of just how much progression they could make on this front. so since there hasnt been open warfare since like 300 years ago, the military’s non-sword equipment is probably Pretty Ordinary. technologically behind the times relative to the rest, mostly due to the structure of the kingdom separating Maidens from crafts. unlike the Dark Kingdom, which likely has a stronger technological basis, with stronger and more advanced weaponry, armor, etc, especially if its derived from metallic substances. more “organic” substances would be the realm of the Light Kingdom. so its a bit complicated. so the light kingdom probably has these older style of guns because they decided, well, the guns dont matter TOO bad as long as theyve got decent range and dont break. we’ll focus our limited metallic resources onto things like phones and shit.

meanwhile the dark kingdom would have a far greater industry for weapons, with their Warrior Maidens being Fucking Kitted Out. the actual Dusk Maidens among them wouldnt have guns (no real need, tbh) but the few human members would, they’d all have decent armor. the onl downside is that this tech is the only thing the dark has OVER the light, because they still lack in more organic resources like GD food. they’ve got a few farms clear of darkness that are responsible for a majority of organic produce, a few people manage to scrape out tiny farms in their homes, some people have come up with the idea to dig up piles of tainted dirt and place them in pots to then be cleansed, allowing them to grow shit like tomatoes or carrots or smth. meats are rare because the only consistent sources of animals are mountain dwelling, and over hunting probably already forced a few species to extinction. fish is still available on their limited coastline (the light kingdom kept almost all of the coast following the civil war) but its not ideal by any stretch and they certainly dont have ENOUGH of it.

uh shit so i guess like.... the light kingdom have great tech in terms of software and such, while the dark kingdom has stronger “practical tech” like industrial shit. we got good cars, we got good infrastructure (except in some particularly bad joints), got good weapons, etc. niice.

ok so then. light kingdom has shit guns, probably timelocked to a specific era. potentially circa a time JUST before the civil war, as that would have allowed the proto-dusk maidens to help in their creation and lay down the groundwork for their blueprint to be slowly adapted by the light kingdom. so thats like..... uh...... can that be semi auto???? i suppose with the use of magic itd be fairly uncomplicated for the advancement of tech to be faster than our own. so if the story itself takes place around 2000, even though in our world the first semi auto wasnt until the 1880s, with magic being present its not unfeasible for them to have been successfully made ~300 years ago, so the 1700s (perhaps late? or maybe just 200, so 1800s still, but earlier than us). except then following this there was the civil war and the separation of the two countries, separating the light kingdom and their human-exclusive military to these semi auto rifles that they couldnt really improve without significant expense. so theyre probably timelocked to the early 1900s? maybe up to around the M1 Garand? which is still a solid weapon, but not like, a machine gun or anything. whereas the dark could easily have continued tech progression past this point up to present day, so they’d have shit like..... uh... whats a really modern gun. idk. get shit like AR15s and M14s at any rate, or even just the AK47 (i couldnt remember that for the life of me, wild). though again, considering the fact that the majority of the military possessed magic, the extreme advancement of guns was definitely not a priority for the people, so i dont need to get /super/ modern. jsut modern enough to where you could easily fuck up a guy with an M1 Garand which wouldnt be difficult, surely. maybe even a lil further cback from the M1, w/e, shit like that.

however the lack of general gun usage from the Dark, and the general understanding from the light that their military is exclusively magical in nature (which was true for quite a while) light military protection is PURELY against magical shit. a human Warrior Maiden with a gun could very easily kill any number of light military troops, because they simply arent prepared for be fired upon. which would be a fun revelation at the climax for the Captain, when his troop headed for the castle’s main room is under a hail of fire and many of them are easily killed because No Fucking Shit, lads. meanwhile the dark military is aware of the solely human military and very capable of understanding the guns they use. they’d only need to recover a SINGLE gun from the troops (likely during the first failed attempt to recover Seora) to work out exactly what sort of defences they’d need in order to fight the light side safely, ie how many layers of the Good Stuff. really, provided the dark are prepared (they sure are) they would easily, at this stage, win a war. the only way to lose would be ambush, having their tech reverse engineered (a little tricky but technically possible) and running out of food. a quick war would easily favor them.

so then, in THIS case, that means when the Captain reaches the castle for the second time in his second brave quest to save the maiden Seora, his squad is substantially smaller than it was at the start. they specifically probably weren’t under fire, as they would have entered through the back rather than the through the dusk maiden army guarding the front gates. but its in the lead up, after the first shot WAS fired (by the light army under someones command, probably not the Captain’s specifically) that he wouldve lot a solid number. mild earthquakes, raging heat, bullets?????? the army basically served to divert attention while they dove the fuck for cover and his squad went ‘oh shit, time to go NOW’ and bolted for it. a few of them might have been shot as they ran. idk. good fun! then they get into the castle through the same entrance they used the LAST time (it was at least partially deliberately left open. there are folk waiting on the inside but theyre basically in shadows just in CASE)

so when the captain enters the room with Esther and Seora and the other small group of Dusk Maidens who are present, he is probably one of the few if not the only person in the room with a gun. his troops likely dropped theirs in the chaos (either from the quakes or the heat, or just general pants shitting terror). he’s got his gun out. everyones ready to fuck up, but noones firing off yet. he’s probably yelling something about it being Esther’s last chance to turn over Seora before more people are killed, Esther’s going all ‘yea cool but a) my troops are winning by all accounts and b) youre the idiot who didnt listen LAST time you came here! she doesnt want to go’ seora going ‘right. fuck you’ captain ‘>:o thats it!’ and then fires on Esther. Seora makes that first shot miss, but now the dusk maidens are fucking Ready to Fight and leap forward. before the captain can take a second shot at Esther, Seora and Esther disarm him (making the gun too hot to hold and then flinging it the fuck away with that Windy Business) and then that whole long fucking post from last night ensues. nice!

which is cool. but i THINK, looking at tech, the M1 miiiight be too strong for kevlar. might? im not positive. numbers are confusing and im bad at math. but i thiiiiiiiiiink its penetration velocity is too high for ordinary layers of kev. yea no theyre too high. hold up. we need to back up the semi auto time frame a little. plus, m1s can do 40-50 rounds a min, thats a few too many. oh bitch i can bring back the model 8, oh fuck yea, i love the model 8. oh perfect. mm yup thats a good one. ok so that means that roughly speaking, light kingdom gun advances stop in the early 1900s, with dark kingdom advancements continue up till around the 1950s. its a bit fiddly because the light probably did have resources left over from before the civil war that allowed them to continue development for a while, but if we basically stick to model 8 era (not 81, generally). but because the dark kingdom contained the majority of the experts (even if a number woulda eaten dust from that Dark Plague Nuke) they’re far closer to that M1 level. M1s, AKs, the fun shit, really. that shit and beyond. meaning that, in theory, sufficient layers of kevlar (approx 6-8?) could block a model 8 shot (at range, anyway) allowing for the dark to be Kitted The Fuck Out. niiiice.

i lost my train of thought because of my mum which is pretty bad because this post is incredibly stream of consciousness...... dammit.

uh tl;dr dark side better weapons, armour, and infrastructure. light side better organic industry (farming and fabrics, also glass shit). dark side has jack all food and relies on limited coastal fishing and a few specific mountain creatures plus their limited farmland.

gun? light kingdom stuck at arooooouuunnnnddd model 8 level tech. its a good gun, and it gets the job done, that job being to shoot maidens before they can fire back. it was developed before the civil war and proved instrumental in many of the fights. however, in the time SINCE then, they havent progressed at all. the dark kingdom has continued to progress, especially in terms of armour (w/ the goods like Kevlar available for all Warrior Maidens) and they have stuff closer to m1 garands. the dusk maidens dont typically use guns, but the human members of the Warrior Maidens are usually given them. for uh, obvious reasons.

unrelated aside - most of the gems used by the Light Kingdom are made of glass, due to the lack of actual gemstones on their side of the border. just sorta how it goes

#lotmv #story blog #i been here for 2 hours and im not sure what i started with or what he fuck this is now but bam #im fuelled by rage at interruptions and would like to take that model 8 and shoot a fucker

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isaacathom · 7 years

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im figuring for most of the game Rhia ONLY refers to Jun as ‘my uncle’ - she doesnt refer to him by name. you can figure out that she means Jun through his own dialogue and through interactions with Lyndelle, who Rhia says is her cousin. and Lyndelle speaks quite openly about her father and how much she aspires to be just like him, and how much he inspires Rhia, too. so when you eventually meet Jun in relation to Team bullshit, and he’s friendly and kind, you go ‘ooohhhhh thats her uncle, right’.

the main reason she does it is because shes paranoid about accidentally incriminating him. when shes berating Elliot for leaving her behind, and describing in detail what occured after she left, she’s fully aware that if she says his name, and then FAILS to stop Elliot and the player (and Zeke, iirc) from leaving, they might report his connections. its a VERY weak defence, admittedly, given how easy it is to work out who she’s referring to. but theres also the fact that shes NOT related to him. and Elliot, knowing this fact (knowing that she’s Seren, and that her entire family live in Johto and didn’t take her ‘home’), would be unable to connect that dot. Being that he is obsessed with Seren, rather than Rhia. the player knows she means Jun, but the player has also actually met Jun - which Rhia doesn’t know. But they’ve met, and they know that Jun isn’t enthusiastic about Team shit, and only works with them because he is blackmailed and wants to protect his family.

so. yknow. if she just says ‘her uncle’, theres room for interpretation. its vague enough. plus, if you actually go to HER records, the records of Rhia Stanton, you will not find Jun Zhang anywhere. he’s her step uncle. instead you will find Patrick’s family, and the family of her ‘mother’. who i think, for shits and gigs, dont have any brothers. that’d be funny. someone investigating Rhia’s ‘uncle’ claims would actually have to look a long way into her records to find a man who could match that description. ofc in reality they’d just ask Jun because that’s her home address now but like, yknow. they share no blood, both in general and as far as her legal records are concerned. so. yknow. someone trying to be covert and investigate Rhia would have to put a lot of extra effort to find this info.

idk i think itd be fun if Rhia’s going on her long tirade explaining the time between her being assaulted and Jun finding her and speaking in these vague terms. not in any overt hilarious way, i just think itd be cool for her to do. then, of course, once shits all cleared, he’s just Jun. well, ok, she alternates, because she does feel a genuine familial attachment to Jun and Bronwyn and Lyndelle, and terms like ‘aunt’ and ‘uncle’ and ‘cousin’ are vague enough that it can describe how she feels while not NECESSARILY necessitating blood ties. its a cute thing. initially it was part of her cover story, calling them auntie and uncle (and then mostly just calling Lyndelle by name), but at one point Rhia would’ve just slipped and called Jun ‘uncle’ in private and honestly it probably made him cry. and shes fretting and apologising and saying ‘fuck fuck i meant Jun sorry’ and hes all ‘no no its fine.... you can call me uncle if you want.’ and shes like ‘wait, really?????’ ‘absolutely, Rhia. if you want to!’ and she cries too. Bronwyn comes downstairs to find them hugging and crying and shes just ‘did i walk in on something?? do you want me to give you a minute’ and they both laugh reallyyyy awkwardly and theres a silence, before Rhia goes ‘heyyyyyy uuhhhhhh i had a question..... am i allowed to call you auntie????’ and bronwyns very confused about what exactly brought this on, looks at Jun, looks back at Rhia, back at Jun, and it clicks and she goes ‘oooooohhhhhhhhhhh. oooohhhh. you mean actually?’ and rhia nods and bronwyn goes ‘well, you do already, dont you? why not! :)’ and its just a big fun time.

then lyndelle also walks in and is INCREDIBLY confused. what the fuck is happening. why is everyoe laughing and crying and hugging and shit. did something happen???????? it is an incredily weird time.

uhhhhh point is she means it sincerely but not in a blood tie way and its also juuuuuuussssttt vague enough that she doesnt give anything away when shes trying to keep shit secret. of course, if pressed in a normal situation, she’d tell you exactly who ‘uncle’ is, the talented Dr Jun Zhang, but in any remotely crime-y shit, you wont get a peep.

so i guess she just always calls him uncle? maybe after the whole team/org blows over, she switches to ‘Uncle Jun’, rather than just uncle? that’d be kinda cute.

im not sure exactly when shed start sincerely calling then family, though. she has like 8 years to figure that out. it certainly wasnt in the first year or so - she was still mixed in that time. at some point, certainly.

the same sort of terms follow for Jun and Bronwyn too. Bronwyn probably took a little longer - mostly because she had slightly less history with Rhia than Jun did - but both of them feel very close to her and refer to her as their niece on a few occasions. Jun especially. mostly because meeting Jun is actually required for story progression, so IF he mentioned his family at all, itd be in vague terms. because just like Rhia, he really doesnt want to tie them into his business. he hates this business, why would he want them connected? so its just ‘my niece’ not ‘my niece, rhia, that cop whose been sorta bothering you the whole game’. YOU know, obviously, the player knows thats probably whats happening. which is probably also the point where you should be going ‘hang on......... her uncles in the evil team??? does she know???’ and it should cause people to think twice. ideally between meeting Jun in a team context and the tower sequence the player should see her again - presumably to insert the whole Seren thing which ive technically retconned out of existence but still needs to occur i guesssss - and she should seem especially suss in that instance. in fact, yea, having that be the point where she asks you to ask elliot about Seren makes sense, and should look INCREDIBLY shifty. like, whyyy cant she just ask him herself? why do you have to do it? what does that mean? theres probably been minor hints about it throughout the game, and there IS a cemetery why you can find graves for both her parents AND a grave for Seren with only her DOB and an end year. and Zeke probably actually knows about it, even if he didnt know Seren personally (given the age difference - he’s older than the player but younger than Rhia, being that he is like.... 17??? which is 6 years younger than her and anywhere from 2-5 older than you. idk. there would be minor info sprinkled about Seren throughout the game, to the point where the player COULD fill in the blanks about what the fuck is happening themselves. to a point, anyway. like, hmm.... so Seren was Elliot’s charge, and vanished, and now this girl who is roughly how old she’d be now is asking me to ask Elliot about her...... hmmmm. and the player might click it. the details, about how he abandoned her, come out only from Rhia herself in her tirade against Elliot. what Elliot tells you is slightly different. ooh, thats a bit, actually.

how Rhia recounts the events and how Elliot does is vastly different. mostly because they drastically diverge at a point, but also in terms of what they recount in that similar lead up. Rhia talks about how shifty the plan was, how he made her wait while he spoke to the gym leaders before coming to get her, how they were on their own despite the other groups being fairly large and proportionally uneven, how she ended up leading the way down the corridor (of her own arrogance, but her point is that He didnt stop her). Elliot talks about her boundless enthusiasm to take part, her insistence, his concern that he’d end up disappointing her if the gym leaders found out and subsequently stopped her. and the specific ‘incident’ bit, the description is different too. Elliot doesn’t really go into specifics. its just ‘there were..... complications. i had no choice but to flee’. Rhia instead describes in details how they were grabbed from behind when the corridor opened up abruptly, how the grunts jeered them and held hands over their mouths, how she kicked one of the grunts in the arm so they let Elliot go, how Elliot hesitated for JUST a moment before bolting, silently, down the corridor. that silence is a big part of it, too. Elliot will say to you that he tried to find help, which is true (to a point), but Rhia’s statement makes that seem strange. if he ran silently, how much did he want help? whether he DID actually leave without crying out at all is..... unclear. neither account of events is wholly accurate. the commonalities are true, but the minor parts are based on interpretation. in fact, the ONLY people perhaps equipped to offer an objective view on what happened in the confrontation are the Grunts, who could talk about how Seren crossed the threshold first with a pokeball in hand, and how Elliot passed closely behind without, and how Barny got kicked in the hand and probably later in the face by the flailing Seren, how Smokes followed Elliot down the hall and saw him completely leave the premises, how Tiny Fae later told Jun about Seren. that sorta shit. those are random names i dont even know what the fuck those mean.

i think thatd be a very neat difference. just to emphasise how they both feel about it. how Rhia would highlight the choices available to Elliot (and technically herself, but trust me, that isnt her idea) and how Elliot would highlight how inevitable he felt his choices were, or how he didnt have them.if it isnt obvious i probably agree with Rhia more, though shes a lot less blameless than she makes it out and there is probably more actual manipulation of information in her recounting over Elliots. like yea, both are manipulated to elicit a specific response (sympathy for both, and anger at Elliot in Rhia’s case). but since Rhia is making a point when she’s telling her version, she’s likely slightly twisted parts of it. the emotional impact of the event isnt changed, but some of the physical elements are likely emphasised to make Elliot feel reaaallllllll fucking guilty. like ‘you thought i was dead, but i lived! but in agonising pain for a while and there have been permanent physical and mental repercussions for your actions, asshole!’ what fun! :)

#story blogging #codename seren #long post #lol i got.... very carried away...... i love rhia and elliots whole conflict its my fucking shit

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isaacathom · 7 years

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to top it off, why did Jun take Seren

the issue is why he would do that. the only way it works is if the group in the base were woefully uninformed and didnt know how many people had come. after all, as far as the grunts know, there were only two people - Seren and Elliot. and if elliot ran off, then its just Seren. especially since the team knows that the organisation will NOT arrive until they’re sure most of the team is off premises, as part of The Scheme. so if Jun wholeheartedly believes that its likely to take an hour or so for everyone to get out, and therefore MORE than an hour for help to arrive for Seren (this also assuming Elliot is a total fucking coward, which he is), he wouldnt be able to leave her behind. but he also cant adminster quick help because, yknow, he’s gotta fucking flee. if hes caught, its all over for him and his family. it ruins everything. he hates being in the Team, but the least he can do is not be caught doing that, so he can keep providing for his family, yknow.

so then, whats he to do? he doesnt want to leave her there, in case it takes ages OR if they dont even find her (still assuming Elliot is a coward, which the Team either already knew in general or Jun is assuming based on his prior behaviour), that’s something that will weigh on him. if he turns on the news in a few days time and finds out a body was discovered in the Team base or that this girl has gone missing, it will fucking shatter him. he’s fairly confident shes not THAT badly injured, but its less that he thinks she’ll die there and more that he’s concerned she’ll wake up alone and get lost trying to get home, lost to the sandy dunes. thats terrifying. thats terrifying for a man whose moral code is to help everyone he can (which makes him being in the Team an ethical nightmare for him and he honestly hates it with all his being)

so, he takes Seren. it was his only choice, based on what he knew. had he knows that Elliot would change his mind less than half an hour later and return, he wouldve probably just fixed her position and then left her there. but he didnt. it probably turned out for the best on the whole, since, if nothing else, it lead to her having a loving family again, which she wouldve been hard pressed to find otherwise. especially with Seren promptly falling out with Elliot once she comes to. lose that entire support network. just her, on her own. so even if Jun has any regrets about taking her, she allays them frequently.

that works. then he has to like, actually leave. he’s the last one out of the building, since he’s helping seal some doors. and he’s the one who radios in with something that sounds rather innocuous. ‘yea [CEO], i got home safe after tonight’ done. [CEO] sends in the org. the clean up crew is in. but he also has to actually get home. bearing in mind the base he was working out is out in the north western desert, and he lives in like, the centre east. what sorta flying pokemon does he need to have for something like that. fuck. uh.... thats actually a good question. like its gotta be big enough to carry two people (of rooouuuughly equal mass. roughly. he probably weighs a little more but in terms of general size Seren IS taller than him). and in a stable way. im thinking.... salamence or a togekiss? togekiss arent super small, i dont see why it couldnt carry them back east. a salamence definitely could but WOULD a doctor have a salamence. at least togekiss makes thematic sense. Jun is basically the fairy/psychic specialist in the Team, lmao. you could also have pelipper but thatd also be kinda weird. i like togekiss.

thatd be a long fucking flight home, though. i mean, fuck. theyd probably need to stop on the way. itd look pretty weird too, if anyone saw. the implication is noone saw them - if they had, the investigation into serens disappearance wouldnt have stalled. they probably stuck to the north, which is fairly rural and kept low. stop a few times, warm everyone up, check to make sure the girl is ok and maybe do the basic first aid now. though the idea is he actually does that just before he calls in. then its just checking shes alright from there.

he probably doesnt get home till like 5, which is after Elliot gets home as well. possibly even longer, since the idea of the east of the region being p rural comes from the mountains being Big Ol Fucks. and theres only three routes through them - the first is to go over them, which requires going really high, which not everyone is capable of doing (for a variety of reasons). the second is to go through them, like, through the caves, which isnt an option for Jun. and the third is to go around. if Jun comes from the north, he can POSSIBLY go around from the north end where there are some lower routes. so like. late ass morning. buddy better hope he doesnt have work that day. gets home late, scaring the absolute fuck out of Bronwyn, who is sleeping restlessly because she knows Jun is ‘at work’ and its later than normal. so he arrives home and she jolts out of bed and edges downstairs (trying not to wake Lyndelle, which is actually probably successful) and then sees her husband coming in the back door with a teenage girl in his arms and its like ‘honey what the actual fuck’

thatd be awkward. ‘listen honey i can explain but first i should make her comfortable so she can rest’ ‘...... alright, let me help’ *a few charged minutes later as they close the door to the spare bedroom* ‘alright Jun what the fuck is going on. why are you home so late’ ‘Bron i wouldve thought that was kiiiinda obvious’ ‘Jun’ ‘ok, so the girl and an older man raided the base, and some grunts roughed them up. the man fled, and the grunts knocked her out. i didnt wanna leave her behind in case the man didnt come back, sooo.....’ ‘jun if they find out we have her youre fucked’ ‘......fuck’ ‘i wish you would think these things through’ ‘listen Bron, we’ll just look after her for a day or two, just make sure she’s alright. see if anything pops up in the news. we’ll work from there’ ‘you mean we’ll send her home, right?’ ‘probably? i dont know. it depends what happens.’ ‘You’re a worry. were you seen?’ ‘i dont think so.’ ‘alright.’ and then idk, they probably go to bed. Jun’s guilty. Bronwyns kinda pissed. Lyndelle, at this blissful stage, has absolutely no idea whats happening. she doesnt find out until she gets home from school the next day and sees Seren through the open door and immediately gets spooked. wouldnt you be? fuck. though she probably gets a slight tip off when she wakes up that morning and is like ‘wheres dad?’ ‘still in bed, dear - he had to stay late at work’ ‘oh, ok’ bearing in mind even at this early stage she VAGUELY knows Jun is in the Team. of course then she hears all about the hot news at school and its like ‘hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm right’. so shes vaguely prepared for ominous shit at home but NOT for a girl her age sitting quietly in her spare bedroom reading the paper. i mean, the fucks up with that, yknow.

i had like 3 breaks in the time it took to write this but i guess the tl;dr Jun was unaware there were other people inside the base and believed Elliot had completely fled, and thus felt obligated to help Seren. WITH the end goal of helping her get better in a few days and then sending her back home with some sort of note that wouldnt be identifiable but would explain the story. of course we know it doesnt go that way and they basically end up adopting her as Rhia Stanton, but, yknow, its the thought that counts

#long post #codename seren #story blogging #bronwyn puts up with a lot but she DID marry Jun for his selfless nature so idk what she really expected from this #'why didnt you take her to the hospital' 'bron you know im shit at lying' '..... god dammit'#thatd be it too. like Jun couldnt take her to a hospital because hed end up outing himself as a Teamie and getting fucking arrested soooo #hes a doctor its fine he can look after her. to a degree. i mean her ankles fucked but he didnt know that #haha ive been working on this post for ~2.3 hours. i dont stop lads

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