#also satanic-fruitcake you are also bestie status for giving me an excuse to ramble about this shitty boy

[gaychocolatehomicide]

tell me about your messy inky i’m curious 👀 (if you want, idk if you haven’t talked about your ocs out of shyness or if it’s a Decision™️ but if it’s the former. I Am Giving You Permission)

HI OKAY SO sorry about the wait I had a really busy week (or three) at work but I wasn't ignoring you I prommy

So I have a ton of Inquisitors but specifically the one I was thinking of is Tristan Trevelyan, my terrible terrible boy from the Wrong Answers Only playthrough. The general concept for that worldstate is "what if I just make the objectively wrongest choice in every instance" and I will almost certainly never actually play it (can't bring myself to do some of the choices x.x) but it's a delightful thought experiment, particularly in the "what kind of person would you have to be to act like that in this situation" department. Just to give you an idea: the Warden in that run DOESN'T rescue the dog from Ostagar. It's that bad.

So Tristan! A nobleborn artificer rogue (really he should be a Champion if we were allowed to cross-class spec, but of the rogue options artificer makes the most sense. He's a tricksy bastard and besides, tempest is too messy and assassin is a little too denial-of-the-self-y.), Tristan is at the conclave because his mage cousin was going with the delegation from Ostwick and he wanted to travel. He learned most of his rogue skills sneaking out of the family home to go get into trouble in town, and he is primarily concerned with his own personal comfort and advancement. Mostly, at least before the conclave, he's content to wait. His father is a pretty powerful noble and he's the oldest son so as long as he doesn't do anything TOO heinous, he'll inherit and then he can do whatever he wants. He's twenty six and unmarried, though he's been kinda lazily courting one of the daughters of a noble out of Starkhaven. He's starting to think his father is taking too long to die/retire and should maybe hurry up, and maybe he needs some help... But only if there's no way for it to trace back to Tristan, obviously.

Then he gets caught up in the explosion and survives, and suddenly everyone's calling him the Herald of Andraste, and he really doesn't need his father's estate if he's in charge of the greatest military force on the continent, now does he? Basically the Inquisition offers him power beyond his wildest dreams and he 100% leans into that shit. He is the gaslight gatekeep girlboss king, and he makes every choice directly dependent on growing the Inquisition's power and thus, his own. He goes "yes actually I WAS sent by the Maker in your time of greatest need, I'm here to rescue you from everything. All you have to do is exactly what I say~"

The issue with him is that he's way too smart for his own good, so he always pushes just far enough to get what he wants and no farther. He's incredibly deft at keeping himself out of trouble by not being held accountable for the shit he absolutely did. Did the envy demon at Therinfall get him? No, he's just like that, actually the demon was a little freaked out by his ambition and ruthlessness. Also, he's unfairly attractive. Appearance-wise I like to think of him as one of those ethereally beautiful people that can sometimes happen when one parent is Chinese and the other one is from like central Africa? I'm thinking specifically of a guy I knew in college who could literally knock me out by smiling in my direction. Anyways.

He's a hanging judge except for when the person in question could maybe help him, in which case he takes their stuff and/or throws them in prison. He loves the skyhold prison, it's huge. The only people in that whole place he gets along with are Varric (zero morals but very loyal, exactly Tristan's kind of guy), Leliana (further hardened), Cassandra (cop), and Vivienne (pro-establishment free marcher who sees a lot of herself in Tristan). Solas and Sera both hate his guts, Iron Bull doesn't trust him as far as he can see him (not as far as he can throw him because he could probably yeet Tristan quite a ways, and his suspicions turn out to be confirmed uhhhh rip the Chargers), and Blackwall clocks him as the type of guy that Ranier used to be (but turned up to 11) in about 30 seconds flat. Cole really doesn't understand him at all, and after a few botched attempts to get in his head (Tristan reacts REALLY badly to that kind of thing after the demon at Therinfall, and Cole was there for that so really all the sweet baby is doing is giving Tristan flashbacks while he tries to help) he just decides to drift around helping other people. Dorian... Ok he definitely sleeps with Dorian but he also says homophobic slurs. Which is not ideal for anyone. Bull tries to kinda protect Dorian from that nonsense at the beginning but after the Chargers, well... It's not good. Josephine is briefly delighted by having someone else competent at crowd control, then she gets to know him and treats him much like people treat the Du Launcets in DA2. Cullen isn't really in a place to have much of an opinion, Tristan is way too much like a smoother version of the worst commanders Cullen has had in the past for him to do a lot other than paperwork and panic attack.

So I feel like @the-chantry-sucks-ass's boy Aeryn would meet Tristan one time and be like "ah yes this is a Prophet of God" and Tristan would clock that in an instant, and especially since Aeryn's best skill seems to be killing the shit out of whatever happens to be in front of him. Tristan would take one look at an incredibly dedicated, very capable, very stabby man and go "perfect, mine now." (And from what I understand Aeryn would be pretty into that...)

Images of the terrible boy are forthcoming, I need to make him in the CC and get some screenshots. For posterity.

#Tristan Trevelyan #dragon age #dai #my ocs #my terrible horrible no good very bad son #look chantry-sucks-ass my fellow nerd I saw Aeryn and IMMEDIATELY thought of Tristan and since Tristan's whole thing is “wouldnt that #be fucked up“ my first thought was ofc ”wouldn't it be fucked up if they were in the same world“ because oh boy... #anyways I saw your tags 😍 love u too bestie #also satanic-fruitcake you are also bestie status for giving me an excuse to ramble about this shitty boy #shitty men are my favorite and this one takes the cake in terms of sheer terribleness and I NEVER get to talk about him