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#also old Eo never *wanted* to kill Cisco
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Wes is (currently) winning my poll, so here’s so stuff about my boy.
He used to get brought home by the cops like all the time in high school. And I don’t just mean from like breaking curfew. He, Sage, and Miles had a habit of breaking into the school after hours, stealing school property, vandalism. Was a good 40% of it to impress his girlfriend, yes. Was the other 60% pretty much him acting out because by middle school everyone knew his bio dad was a mass murderer, who killed his mom, yeah...
But Wes was tryna find his place. 
He and Sage dated off and on all through high school. Considering most people were either afraid of him or hated him, it was nice to have one person who seemed to like him no matter what the state of their relationship was. It sort of helped that they had a lot in common. 
Her mom is a supervillain too, so they used their relationship to escape from that reality. It wasn’t healthy, but they were both kids. 
Towards the end of senior year they’re relationship started to fizzle out. Wes didn’t want to admit it, but he had started to develop feelings for someone else. (But it would be a few years before he acted on that.) Plus by some miracle he managed to get accepted to CCU, and he was looking forward to going. His parents hook him up with Cisco’s foster son, Roman. They have a lot in common. Father’s who liked crime more than they liked taking care of their kids. They decide to get an apartment off campus.
So that July, right before he’s set to leave, he and Sage spend one last night together. They go to the drive in, but he doesn’t know what movie they see. He just remembers her in the back of his jeep, and he knows it’s the last time. But he also knows he doesn’t want to say it.
He goes to school, and for the first time in forever he’s not looked at as Adrian Chase’s son, or Oliver and Felicity’s Queen’s foster kid. He gets to fade into groups, he gets to make friends. Roman introduces him to a few of his CC friends. They’re a couple years younger, but they’re nice. A little more cheerful than Wes is used to, but he doesn’t mind too much. 
He comes home for winter break and looks for Sage everywhere, even goes to a few old haunts they used to meet up with Miles at. But Miles hasn’t seen her since around September. Plus his friend has now fallen into a stride with the Grey Starlings, and while he would never turn on Miles, he knows his parents track all their kids. And he doesn’t need Oliver and Felicity to start worrying about him again. 
He tries again over spring break, looks for her everywhere but he’s sure she’s moved out of Star City, leaving it and him in the past. So he decides it’s time to start doing the same.
He spends the summer with his family, his older brother is finally back in town and it seems like a good time to catch up. They avoid talking about they way they’re connected, they both get it. They’re nothing like their father. Apollo had stopped referring to Adrian as such years ago. He’s always seen Eo as more of a father anyway. But that summer was the first time Wes ever calls Felicity and Oliver mom and dad. 
He’s back at school in the fall. It’s early September and Will and Apollo come down for the weekend with Owen and Emmett, something about bonding with their little brothers. Wes thinks neither of the pre-teens want to be there, but he’s happy to see his brothers regardless.
Roman went to go pick up the pizzas when there’s a knock at the door. Wes is sure his roommate forgot his wallet, and goes to answer it, nearly tripping over the piles of stuff that somehow exploded from Owen and Emmett’s bags. 
When he opens the door it’s not Roman on the other side, it’s Sage. She’s crying, she says she’s sorry but she can’t do it anymore. Then she hands him a carseat and takes off. 
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ariadne-mouse · 4 years
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Theory: Eobard!Nash is more full of hate juice than the old Eobard we know and love because the process of being destroyed/consolidated with all the other Wellses in Crisis affected his mind. The old Eobard was a smug, silky, manipulative villain who didn't care so much about killing as he did about winning. The angry Eobard of 6x14 who rages about slitting throats is something new, something different.
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lotrewrite · 7 years
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Well, here’s my comments! Feel free to message me with any questions or for clarification of anything
Overall, this is really solid you guys. 
The biggest issue is just fleshing some of the episodes out a bit. Character arcs are nicely done and the character stuff is spread out surprisingly well. In general, I think there’s a little more focus on Mick and Len than the others, and Amaya could probably be given a slightly larger role, but overall I’m impressed. Writing a team and giving them all equal focus is really hard. I’m so excited this is already so good
(Also like three of these episodes are set in times/places related to special interests I’ve had over the years so if I start getting caught up in historical details that’s why)
I haven’t looked at other people’s feedback yet, cause I didn’t want to be influenced so sorry if I’m just repeating stuff
LOTREWRITE: Yay, more comments! Sorry about the delay in posting these, all!
Episode 1:
-          I love the opening sequence with Kendra A+
-          How has Nate’s pencil lasted so long? It has to be at least 20 years old, right? A pen might be more plausible but have the same basic narrative effect. If you’re keeping the dog tags bit from the original though it might be best to cut it the reference to it being from his grandfather entirely or have it be a replica or something. Best to focus on a single sentimental object.
-          The banter is flawless and in character. Nice!
-          Thawne’s explanation is a bit of an infodump. That’s gonna need to be reworked into more of a dialogue, at the very least. It would probably be better to show it somehow. Maybe show the Black Flash appearing a few seconds after Thawne leaves, then disappearing just as quickly? Darhk can research it on his own and then explain it to someone later, for those viewers who aren’t familiar with the concept from The Flash.
-          “Damien Darhk?” Stein asks. “As in –” “The man who murdered your sister,” Rip says. I assume we’re talking about Laurel, but this makes it sound like Darhk murdered Stein’s sister.
-          “I never did” Talk about OUCH. This is amazing.
Episode 2
-          Some clarification on when and where “the infirmary” is would be good, as well as what Jax and Stein’s history here is, but I figure that will be added as this is fleshed out
-          Same with “decision makers”
-          I vote yes on “not drinking and driving” quip that’s excellent
-          Bambi is adorable
-          Make sure when you’re researching the crusades to look at things from multiple perspectives. This seems like it could very easily fall into a very generic “Good Christians” vs “Evil non-Christians” crusade narrative and that’s… less than ideal. There was a lot of politics surrounding the crusades, even if you’re just focusing on the Christians. That might also help provide a motive for your dissenter? Someone who thinks these soldiers should be back at home looking after things there instead of invading a foreign nation to secure power and riches for the church? Someone who’s been convinced that the crusaders have no divine right to this land and that they should leave it to the people who actually live there? Could maybe be a place to start setting up some doing what’s “right” vs doing what’s supposed to happen conflict? This is obviously just an outline so maybe you’re already planning something like that but I figured I’d mention it
-          I’m a fan of Bambi not dying
-          I love Firestorm as an angel that’s an amazing idea in so many ways A++++
-          Mick roasting a T-Rex with his gun heck yeah
Episode 3:
-          I love Sara’s canary pendant
-          Continuity issue: in episode 1, Mick punches Rex and that’s about the extent of their interaction. Not much of a basis for the trust he seems to be showing in this ep.
LOTREWRITE: Possibly we could make it more explicit that Rex noticed that the bomb the JSA were tracking was discharged harmlessly after Mick said he went after it, thus the trust?
-          Yay for bi Sara!
-          The Sara and Amaya scene sounds like it’s gonna be so cute
-          Ray’s speech to Nate about heroism is really solid
-          I see now why it’s a pencil, but I’m still not loving the idea. Does it just magically never get not sharpened? Has Nate never noticed? Does he sharpen it and lose tiny fragments of the spear every time? Am I being too nitpicky?
-          Love the mention of non-fighting military personnel 
-          Mick is starting to feel like he’s taking over the story a little too much here maybe, especially considering that he’s been the most major character in the previous episodes as well, while Jax and Stein seem almost nonexistent. Nate could probably have a little more prominence given that this is his big reveal episode.
Episode 4
-          Might want to give a quick rundown of some basics about Chernobyl in the finished episode for audiences unfamiliar with the history. I had to look it up because I thought it happened years later and was very confused.
-          Give some reason for why Stein’s actions were changed from the original timeline. Is Darhk’s presence there already changing things?
-          What do you mean by Jax can “safely detonate” the bomb? Is there some reason he and Stein can’t Firestorm up and transfigure it? I don’t recall Jax being a particular expert in bombs previous to this.
-          The Stein and Clarissa storyline is very very good
-          Sara and Mick (not) talking about their shared grief Thank You
-          Sara seems rather quick to trust Eobard. She knows it’s a speedster who killed Rex, right? Nevermind. She still seems very quick to trust for a former assassin.
-          Maybe avoid Eobard villain monologuing? He has no reason to.
-          Doesn’t the Black Flash only come after the speedsters, not anyone whose death is changed by time travel? iirc, both Cisco and Barry’s mother were brought back to life by Barry changing the timeline at one time or another and neither were targeted. There may be extenuating circumstances I’m forgetting though…
-          Sara and Laurel’s storyline is really touching and sweet
-          LISA!!!!!!
Episode 5
-          I’m loving the mix of historically accurate costumes and especially Mick
-          Crew interacting with Vikings is great and in character
-          Jax and Gunlød’s relationship is really cute
-          The funeral for Len and the others they’ve lost is fantastic
Episode 6
-          Eobard and Darhk banter already sounds like it’s gonna be great
-          How’s Lisa getting in? nevermind, that’s answered
-          The image of Len doing anything “emphatically” is kinda cracking me up. A look or something would probably be more in character.
-          Vampiric octopuses omg please have a flashback here
-          Building of tension for the break-in is excellently done. A bit cliché, but in a good way.
-          Lisa’s fury is great.
Episode 7:
-          Oa?
-          Independence Day banter is really fun
-          Lisa/Cisco scene is YES
-          “justified” I see what you did there
Episode 8:
-          Remember to introduce Constantine etc to audiences who might not be familiar with them
-          Are you going to show Mick vanishing or just have him suddenly no longer be there? Related: does he leave and then get beaten up or get taken out while with the rest of them? Does the audience know he’s telling the truth or will there be some room for them to wonder?
-          HARLEY/IVY YESSSSS
-          I’m assuming Booster is Booster Gold, yes? Do we get him in this season?! Okay coming back, we don’t. It’s a nice shoutout for those who know, but the prominence it’s given implies it will be relevant.
-          Clarify who Resurrection Crusade are
Episode 9:
-          Sara’s disguise for the Christmas party isn’t specified
-          This might be an issue with the original version of the episode as well, but the colonies were in open rebellion against the British crown and GW probably wouldn’t expect honorable treatment or a prisoner exchange if captured. He was openly committing treason in the eyes of the British army.
-          Ray navigating with one boot is hilarious and wonderful
-          Would soldiers from the pre-telephone era be able to adjust well enough in one night to work with a comm? Guns they at least have experience with. Tiny devices that let them talk to each other through long distances might be a bit pushing it. Or I might be getting too nitpicky.
-          The whole massacre plot needs some work tbh. How does Jax and Amaya knocking out a total of three soldiers stop a full massacre? How many were there? How did the soldiers feel about it? Sneak attacks on innocent (white) civilians weren’t really a common part of warfare at the time. Some or all of the villagers would have supported the British or at least pretended to. Not to mention the British soldiers were probably occupying the nearest village. Village sounds really feudal I’m thinking town might be more appropriate okay I’m definitely getting too nitpicky
-          End scene is great
Episode 10:
-          Ray’s pirate persona is gold
-          Why do they ask Jax for his name first? (or do they?)
-          Foreshadowing Rip joining the other side? Neat
-          Looks like this just needs more details for the climactic battle then you’ll be good
Episode 11:
-          The opening is so good
-          Adorable engineering duo yes good
-          So does the Greenpeace member know about the explosion? How?
-          This episode feels a bit short? It’s focused on a single plot that gets resolved relatively straightforwardly. Maybe add subplot(s) and/or throw a wrench in things somewhere?
Episode 12:
-          A little hard to follow at first but I think it’s supposed to be
-          Does Mick say “who’s Grace?”? That seems to imply that he recognizes the other names.
-          This has the potential to be really creepy I like it
-          Can Rip be incorporated into this somehow? Or not necessarily be incorporated as the character, but at least mentioned? It feels relevant, since he had the closest relationship to Gideon
Episode 13:
-          Could Legion!Len’s reveal be moved? If he’s not heavily involved in the Legion’s main plot for this ep, the previous ep would probably work better with a single big reveal (that oculus!Len is not just a hallucination) rather than two back to back. There could be mentions of a new Legion member (Darhk and Eo discussing Legends in Argentina “We’ll let the new guy handle them,” following orders from him, etc), without Len being revealed until he’s revealed to the Legends, or the end of this episode.
-          Really good moral quandaries here.
-          You could probably do something with the fact that the team (presumably intentionally) imitates oppressive government agents to get away with kidnapping, even if it is for a good cause. That’s gotta make them uncomfortable. (Mick seems like he’d probably be the most chill with it, Jax seems like he’d be really uncomfortable, and I could see Stein going either way.)
-          Maybe include one or more OCs or historical figures in a major role to add a human element to the conflict
Episode 14:
-          How does Rip find out? Does he already know?
-          So is the thing on the throne not the spear piece?
-          Tudor jewelry would probably not involve wood. They were big on showy jewels and metals. Maybe it’s in a fancy locket and rumored to hold part of the cross or something? You could have Anne make some sort of joke about how it’s probably fake. Artifacts like that were very common and almost never what they claimed to be.
-          Henry’s feeling a little flat here, but that might just be the outline format
-          This is another one that could use a subplot or two
-          MICK BURNS DOWN THE GLOBE I LOVE IT
Episode 15:
-          I like the option of Hex reacting badly to Rip
-          Carter and Kendra cameo is really neat
-          Continuity error: Len leaves and then says something in scene 6
LOTREWRITE: Len probably shouldn't leave since he has a big leaving sequence in the next episode
-          Lots of good stuff here
-          Make sure Lily stuff lines up with the following episode
LOTREWRITE: Lily should probably show up and have the argument with Stein in this episode, since the next one is very crowded
Episode 16:
-          Make sure Lily stuff lines up with previous episode
-          Bart Allen is from around this time period too. Can he cameo somehow?
-          I love this entire concept
-          All the hostages taken are women. Is there specific reasoning behind this? If not, maybe reconsider hostage choices
-          So Lily is volunteering to be a hostage, not switch sides? That was a little unclear.
-          I love the Monty Python joke. But it might be a little too anvil-y? Maybe change the wording from “what is your favorite color?” to “pick a color”?
-          How are the trials being administered? Verbally with spoken answers? Touchscreen? Fancy buttons?
Episode 17:
-          Cameo suggestion: A young Selina Kyle. The joke is that the found family she’s talking about consists entirely of cats. This can either be revealed to Jax via innocuous comment that wouldn’t make sense if referring to a human (something about litter boxes?) or revealed to the audience later when she looks at a picture in her wallet or something.
-          I love Legion!Len being fed up this is a Good Scene
-          The Legends make him cake aww
-          That ending man
-          Another episode that could use a bit of fleshing out. A little focus on what the other Legends are doing specifically might be enough.
Episode 18:
-          Love the cold open
-          Kendra cameo!
-          Why would putting Ray in a toga convince the guard to let him pass?
-          I’d add a subplot or a lot more happening at the gladiator fight. Does Darhk attempt to cheat? How does Sara counter that? Is she tempted to kill him? Maybe she could have a scene before or after where she talks to someone about her past with the League of Assassins and how sometimes she still has to fight those instincts? Even though she saved Laurel, he still almost killed her and Laurel is still almost completely out of reach for Sara so there’s got to be some pent-up anger there.
Episode 19:
-          HI YES YOU’RE INCLUDING MORDRED LET ME LOVE YOU
-          I can tell that you know your Arthurian legend or at least did some research this makes me so happy the Camelot episode was disappointingly generic in the official season but this is so much better
-          MICK AND MORDRED TALKING ABOUT BEING TRUE TO YOURSELF I HAVE ASCENDED
-          Yeah sorry I should have more constructive criticism but my brain kinda just starts screaming in delight at any mention of Mordred so just know that you did a good and there aren’t any glaring plot inconsistencies
Episode 20:
-          Snart is totally dedicated to his theme enough to take Antarctica let’s be honest
-          I believe there was a reference in a much earlier episode to Harley and Ivy both not returning someone’s calls. Did Harley do something to get back into the Legion’s good graces or…?
-          Ted Kord :D
-          This just needs more detail, in non-Len-related scenes in particular, which will presumably come with the full thing
Episode 21:
-          How is Rip rescued?
-          How does Ray contact GL and SS? Also, being in space shouldn’t keep them from being influenced by timeline change, since they’d still be within the bounds of time
-          BATFAM!! (I was gonna say that it was surprising no one changed things to keep them from being vigilantes, but that could be because they have secret identities and none of the LoD knows who they are) (Also are you going to include Oracle? You might be able to tie her into Ray’s character arc, since she’s a superhero who not only doesn’t have powers, but is physically disabled.)
-          How are you showing the spear going “fuck this“?
-          Wait is the implication that pre-doomworld didn’t have Batman or was pre-Batman? Because the gameshow ep mentioned him in one of the trials
-          I’m not sure about Sara being the one to throw Mick out. She is a former assassin, and she gave spear pieces to Thawne to save her sister earlier in the season. Seems like she would be among the more lenient. There should at least be some clarification of why. Maybe she’s upset because she was forced back into being an assassin?
Episode 22:
-          “proper Time Master captain” ouch
-          Sara’s scene with Laurel is lovely
-          Why would Ray blow up if he touched the spear?
-          “He holds up Cisco’s communication device with the” Finish this sentence
-          LEN!!!
-          This is a good ending
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