#also if you recognize which locations im talking about by description..... hehehehe

[worldsquietestjojosfan]

Every day is a culture shock

Bro ive been on the internet for how long and I'm still in a perpetual state of culture shock?

I feel insane when I hear that people don't take family roles or family duty as seriously as I do.

My best friend loves to send me posts of People complaining about family and we both look like

Oh that's crazy! They're not even defending the family honor and reputation from outsiders????? Literally insane!! Even if you hate your family, you still have to defend them from outsiders. What's even going on?

To us it's like instinct. Even if your parents are straight up evil, you still have access to connections and favors by virtue of your last name. You have to defend the last name so you can keep using that. It's not a common idea? CRAZY! And what about your younger generations? You want to ruin it for them too?

Despite being females, we are both the firstborn son of our households. And then we go online and nobody knows wtf we're talking about

Wtf you mean you're the oldest and you're not at least the firstborn daughter? It comes with birth. You don't have any of those duties? Then what do you do?

Like obv were not robots. I have a lot of friends that didn't do some of their duties. Whether they disagreed or were lazy or just didn't want to, the word "duty" is always there. "That duty was stupid so I didn't do it". Fair. Your choice.

dude ok I know I'm aware other cultures exist and they're different. I didn't realize in practice its SO different. people look at me like I'm fucking insane bro!!!

I had a conversation with a girl and she's like "you're so lucky you have a great relationship with your dad!" And I was like "not all my siblings have this close relationship. I earned my right to stand as his equal by completing all my family duties (almost) perfectly"

Like I earned my right that when we argue I can say he's "being cringe". I earned my right to argue actually. I earned this by repeatedly demonstrating responsibility, maturity, and correct priorities.

Dude that girl said this sounds like child abuse and I was like dawg wtf are you talking about 💀 your parents don't let you earn standing? Do they even love you? (That was mainly ego. She insulted my family so I tried to as well).

I'm guilty of growing up in a mixed asian society. My best friend grew up also In a mixed Asian society but a different one. In mine, the largest groups were Chinese, Vietnamese, Thai and Korean followed by every other kind of Asian.

Her area's largest groups were japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Indian followed by every other kind of Asian.

So it's kinda different but close enough. She knows how to eat with her hands and I know how to eat with chopsticks. We all celebrate 2 kinds of lunar new year. One by the south asian lunar calendar and one by the east Asian lunar calendar (don't ask, I don't know why we have 2 lunar calendars. You would think there's only 1?)

Both our areas, aunties will scold you if they hear you talk disrespectfully to your parents. Both our areas people will look down on you for not knowing your home language. Both our areas, the elders expect proper acknowledgement.

There are differences too. In my area, those who disrespect you must be disrespected In return. It's an offense to your family that they think they are allowed to disrespect you. In her area, the disrespect will happen but not to the face. You have to show you're from a better family. Here you have to show you are aware of the bullshit and you won't let it slide. I think its a difference between acting on behalf of your family vs acting with permission from your family. That's my speculation.

When teachers at my school said "grades don't matter" we said "then don't grade us? Liar". When teachers at her school said that they said "we understand, thank you for telling us" and then told their parents and the parents filed a report against the teachers for intentional misleading and sabotage.

The levels or respect and politeness and what kinds of actions imply what about your family were a culture shock to me. When I visit her, I have to adjust to be a lot more mellow and polite than I have to show here. Here, the elders accept any proper acknowledgement like "hi grandma" is fine. Even "hello" or a wave is fine. There, elders expect you to acknowledge them according to their culture. I personally fuck this up so bad because I don't even know who they are so i just copy what my friend is doing. And then I get the relation wrong and then they stare at me. Sometimes I'm lucky.

Over here, we don't really know too many people. It's not as social. Where she lives, everyone knows everyone.

I don't know how to describe this melding aside from just generally "asian" .

I log on to the internet and there's no shared culture except for speaking English 🤣 HAH.

It's like the difference between going to a swimming pool vs a jacuzzi

Vs jumping into a pile of leaves

Previously the common factor was water. Now the common factor is that it's matter.

I'm being so deadass I feel like me and some fictional characters from cultivation novels have more in common

#the craziest part is when we meet asians who didnt grow up around asians and we also dont connect like at all #we were talking to one and that guy was like oh yeah family honor duties blah blah my parents told about that ancient shit. i #and were like ..... ANCIENT??????? #it certainly helps when your neighbors are drilling in the exact same fillial code into their kids in laos while yours are in hindi or cant #korean aunties scolding me for having a temper tantrum in broken english is a vibe #some words #on a smaller scale you know what else is a culture shock #how much east asians value fruit as a gift #south asia we have coconuts and fruits in abundance so our culture sees fruit as love but its not THAT expensive #idk about chinese but apparently korea fruits are FUCKING EXPENSIVE #one time my mom cut fruit and brought it to the park where we were all playing and the moms were like you are a saint #and my mom was like its only natural. the kids are playing so i should feed them. and theyre like but its fruit #and i was like yeah. its good for us. my mom wouldnt try to poison us. i didnt realize why it was such a big deal #because fruit prices here are kinda rough now but not THAT expensive. #apparently the gesture means everything #i dont even know what the point of this was. i just wanted to say it #also if you recognize which locations im talking about by description..... hehehehe #for us the luxury good is nuts and all the chinese friends whose house ive been to their mom always offers roasted nuts #and im like gawdDAMN you guys rich or something? im that much of an honored guest?