#also i'll eventually figure out the others

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for accidentally leading someone on and wanting to stay friends after?

Emojis so I can find it again 😶‍🌫️🦷

For a little background info, I (20m) have P-OCD and am really freaked out by having an interest in people younger than me, even 18/19 year olds. I run a blog on here where I let people anonymously send in asks, and some of the anons are interested in me in some way or another. For a while before this, someone we'll call T (19m) had been sending asks in anonymously with romantically interested intent, while also being a fully platonic friend with me outside the anonymous setting. When I finally figured out it was him sending the asks, I realized that I liked him too, and I hoped that maybe I could push past my illogical anxieties, so I told him that while I wasn't ready for anything yet because of my P-OCD, there was a chance in the future.

After that he began interacting with me in more romantic tones in day to day conversations, and I'll admit I did encourage it some. But as the days went on, I started experiencing worse and worse OCD compulsions, and before a week passed, I realized I could no longer safely handle trying to push my boundaries. I let T know this, emphasizing that it was nothing to do with him and everything to do with me and my issues, and said that I really hoped we could still stay friends but that I understood if not.

T seemed to take this as well as he could have at first, but then after a night of self-destructive behavior and a long conversation with a friend of his (who we'll call B), T told me that B thought my saying I hoped to remain friends (among other portions of the rejection message which talked about the mental health reasons I had for stepping back) was manipulative of me. We eventually decided to part ways as friends too, not because of the message B called manipulative but because T still held strong feelings and couldn't foresee letting go of them.

Still, ever since then I've been wondering if it really was manipulative of me to ask to stay friends. So, AITA here?

#aita #am i the asshole

[isa-ghost]

Birds of a Feather AU

General Concept

Somehow someway, following the events of QSMP, hc!Phil and o!Phil cross paths while o!Phil is in a minor crisis. Surviving on his own while searching for his parents is going,,, not well. But luckily, this "old fuck" he's encountered has seemingly infinite wisdom about life and survival, which is-- whether he wants to admit it or not --exactly what he needs.

Little do either of them know, they have strangely similar yet distinctly unique traumas, and the longer they spend time together, the more they'll start to heal each other as a sort of Mentor And Apprentice dynamic develops.

hc!Phil

Is also SMPEarth!Phil, c!Phil, and q!Phil. All lore from those SMPs apply to him. All of my qPhil headcanons also apply to him.

Typical vaguely slutty /j fanon Phil outfit. Also has his Antarctic Empire outfit, and his Quesadilla Island "vacation" outfit (a beach coverup like his robe, a sunhat like his normal hat, and a green print Hawaiian shirt.) (Hopefully I'll eventually draw that)

Trust and attachments are complicated for him. He can't help but develop them, it's only natural, but with losing Chay & Lullah so recent in his mind, the wound is raw and he's once again gone back to keeping everyone he meets at arm's length or further away. He is NOT going to be happy stumbling across o!Phil, especially when they just,, kinda become stuck with each other.

o!Phil

Obviously the cameo from Rats SMP applies to him. I might also apply Phil's cameo in ASMP to o!Phil even though that wasn't o!Phil just because they were sorta similar in personality.

Goes by Crowfather. Phil has, in Crowfather's words: annoyingly, nicknamed him "Crowley"

Basically 1:1 with his skin but like. The hot brooding fanart versions people make. Basically looks like a bougie goth aristocrat but bird. Has more actual bird traits whereas Phil is more just,, a dude with wings and bird mannerisms (perching, collecting shiny things, etc)

Is this weird equilibrium between being cold as fuck and sociable. Is an entitled snot at the worst of times and a clearly clueless, golden spoon-fed tory who doesn't know a damn thing about the real world at best. He's been forced into this position by Circumstances (his parents being MIA) and is still working through figuring out how to be an independent and actually likeable person.

Phil is teaching him the above, at least the independence part. Unlike Crowley, Phil has lived for god knows how long and that's given him tons of life experience and wisdom to pass on.

Deep inside, he's just severely hurt and traumatized. Still not a good person outside as a result, but much of the outside would change and heal if the inside

#Birds of a Feather AU #qsmp philza #osmp philza #dsmp philza #c!philza #o!philza #q!philza

[no-name-blu]

A thought. John turning evil by some entity promising him a way to protect his friends and Melissa. But he’s just doing the right thing g but the wrong way

When they used to be Welcome Home OCs, that's literally John's plot in my AU, Gameshow Host! Wally XD

But it's more of a fun side plot that can be taken out/ignored. This plot shows more on what the real world is like, how the cult fans of the show are formed, and also shows what happens to the winners of the gameshow. Because according to Wally, they usually turn into a threat to Humanity.

Here's an old comic that I never finished, glad it gets to see the light of day now :D

You can get their lore explanation down here!

I figured to reveal it since they're not Welcome Home OCs anymore and I'm not gonna draw all of this

CW: VIOLENCE AND CHARACTER DEATH, A LOT OF READING

Melissa, John, Briella (My OCs) and Sunny (that bird character), are a friend group together. Briella was the very first contestant of the show and dies, making Melissa wanting to investigate it and she's been non stop working about it.

And then, maybe 3-6 months later? idk, John got picked to be the contestant and won, so he asked his prize to have the ability to help Melissa. So Home gave John this opportunity to have a tour in the studio with Wally. So the day that happened, Wally showed him around, the problem with foreign objects going to the studio, it starts to deteriorate, especially for one's sanity. John eventually runs off Wally's tour and try to find more secrets in the studio just to accidentally found the void where Home resides in. His brain did not recover from seeing Home, he doesn't remember what happens after that. But John got Home's powers now YIPEEEE

Also his mind is in shambles in a way it's like an "enlightenment" to him. He sees it like the show is actually a good thing, weeding out the evil in the world. And he wanted to help more than anything.

John finds more people to see this show the way he sees it. He somehow got Melissa convinced too (old idea was that he can do hypnotism) When he tried to convince Sunny, he disagreed, leading to John to think he's evil and such, ended up killing him. Both the idiotic and crazy couple basically going on a killing spree to form a cult fan club of the show :D Honestly, imagine JD and Veronica from Heathers, but they're both JD. They're what killed the dinosaurs, they're the asteroids that's overdue /lyr

Eventuallyyy Melissa starts to snaps out of it, telling John she doesn't want to do this anymore, noticed Home has been watching them and she wants to make a deal with him. Home says something like "make one big sacrifice, and I'll give you what you wish for" Not very helpful but still she took the deal. Then the comic above is what's next. After that, they fought.

John was about to kill her but held back and gave Melissa a chance to fight back, so she starts punching, beats him up until the marionette puppet stops being alive.

Somehow the result of this made Home gave Melissa her own powers with the glowing eyes and Home's pupils too. Basically saying, now she serves for Home and that she's also gonna go crazy, like what had happened to John.

But Melissa didn't take over the cult, that'll be someone else. What she did is help Wally find a suitable contestant for the episode.

This plot probably got some holes and not that fleshed out since I stopped writing into it. It was fun tho :D

If you wanna know the other nickel, it's their Reboot AU lore. John was also cray cray for a different reason.

#Sorry anon to use this as an opportunity to info dump all the lore 😭😭😭 #I repeat THEY ARE NOT WELCOME HOME OCS ANYMORE #THEY ARE NOW MY OWN PERSONAL ORIGINAL CHARACTERS >:D #gameshow host wally #game show host wally

[tactax-art]

Hey, just found your mwii monster au and wanted to say that its really cool! Quick question tho, is Soap like an actual god or just a really stronk monster? If he is an actual god, was he born like that or did he inherit/grow into it?

Oh god (hah) ok I guess it's time to try and pin down godhood/divinity for this verse, huh? Been meaning to make notes. Definitely not just 'stong monster'.

Sorry but you'll never get a 'quick' answer from me when I could be worldbuilding, lol. This is barebones and subject to change, mebbe.

A mortal (ie. not godly) is only one thing. They're a human. They're a werewolf. They're a human-werewolf-hybrid but that's still just one being. When they die they're dead (or possibly undead, but that's still being one thing at a time).

They need to eat, to hunt, to rest, to replenish in a way that is a conscious effort.

Gods are born as mortals to mortal parents (if applicable), but attached to them is the divine element that they are the god of. They're a mortal but also that element, both avatar and embodiment. Ageing is a tricky thing, on average a god's mortal form will develop to maturity at a regular pace and remain at that point. (I should mention that gods aren't always born to sapient species.)

Their divinity/godhood on the other hand is ever growing and maturing, eventually shedding their mortal form (and later self) after which their element soon (relative) consumes them. That is when a god dies, and a new one is born, and the cycle begins again. The speed at which the cycle moves really depends on the individual cycle's god, their species, their circumstances and element.

In a way you can see a divine element as a parasite that attaches at birth to a host and sustains and consumes them over a span of decades to millenia. There is no way to predict, invite, stop or avert this, in fact you shouldn't even try. Without the divine element the thing itself would cease existing. The divine element also feeds the mortal form purely by it's element existing, as such a god doesn't need to eat or rest (but they can, if they so choose so), and it's very very hard to kill their mortal form. Depending on what stage they're at it's likely possible they can re-form from their element alone, even if their mortal form was completely destroyed. (Otherwise it's likely they move on to late stage godhood.) its impossible to injure a god with something associated to their element. (ie explosions = bullets, shrapnel, fire, heavy impact/shockwave, etc)

Soap being a god of explosions for example, is in the 'juvenile' stages of godhood (this does not influence his maturity as a human in any way). He's figured out manmade explosions/explosives, and the wonders of flammable gasses, and making anything explode that shouldn't/making things not-explode that should. But guys, guys, he hasn't even grocked yet that the two biggest natural sources of explosions are volcanic and stellar, as in solar flares and supernovas. (His endstage of godhood would probably be stuff like colliding black holes and just generally stretching too thin through the universe and completely losing any sense of self/personhood and eventually fading into nothing. But that's gonna be a long as while dw.)

#haven't gone into the social stuff but #short: gods usually stick with gods #also i dont think prayers/worship do anything??? #i mean itd be funky if they do but it wouldnt change anything for them #also you just know that god-killing weapons were invented several times #no bueno #ok ok i hush now #ask more questions if you wanna know more things #also i'll eventually figure out the others #tactax mwii creatures au #tactaxtalks #tactax EoE spoilers

[tubbytarchia]

Forever thinking about how I was at the singular estonian anime con last year, saw people selling traffic stickers, looked at a rancher sticker and called it "flower husbands" then came back the next day to apologize for getting it wrong. Yes I did buy it also

#I had literally JUST gotten into traffic at the time. My terminology was all messed up #Knew jackshit about ranchers other than they seemed cute and I figured I'll probably end up getting obsessed with them eventually #which yeah I did #blabber #the vendor didn't correct me also if it wasnt clear lol. Out of politeness #but then the next day they were like “lmao yeah you did do that but thats okay”

[liltaz-asatreat]

I don't remember if I ever made a post about this, but for a long time I thought Griffin made up the whole clone pod thing to give Barry an excuse to get his body back again and then eventually also Magnus, and that that was a cool little world building thing. But I found out a while go that no, apparently it's a real spell called Clone from the Player's Handbook. 8th level necromancy wizard spell.

Also, it takes specifically 120 days for a body to form completely, which means that technically, Barry could have popped into his body again since before Petals lol

In the spell description, it also says that you can make the body younger, and I love the fact that he had that option but chose to keep himself the same age anyway

Also, since Magnus first gave Garfield his blood during the interlude before Crystal Kingdom, technically his body would have been ready since around the Eleventh Hour, and Garfield decided to just hold on to it for another few months without doing anything with it lmao

OH SHIT WAIT-

GRIFFIN THOUGHT MAGNUS WAS GOING TO TAKE THE CHALICE AND THAT HE WAS GOING TO DIE DURING THE MISSION TO GET IT BACK FROM HIM

HE SPECIFICALLY MADE IT SO THAT IF HE DID DIE, MAGNUS' BODY WOULD HAVE BEEN READY TO GO THEN TOO

Man I love how that whole arc played out in canon, but I so wish we had gotten to know what would have happened if Magnus did take the Chalice and how that would have played out

#With Magnus' body being ready by TEH though; that also means Garfield requesting his sideburns was him just being a dick lmfao #I also love how it's been about 2 years since I've started listening to this show and have relistened to Balance countless times #and even now I can still find new things to think about it and also read other people's thoughts that I've never considered before #oh; also; I just realized that I didn't clarify how I knew specifically when shit would have happened; but I don't think it's that #important to add to the post #if someone asks; I'll reblog with the answer or maybe just make a whole new post about it; but essentially I figured out the rough timeline #of when all of the arcs happened canonically based on the offhand comments Griffin made about how long it's been between arcs #which; figuring out when Petals happened was a fucking nightmare because he didn't specify how long it had been since Rockport or Midsummer #and I kept missing how long he said it was between Crystal Kingdom and Petals; but I eventually did catch that and figured it out #and gang; it is a *long* stretch of time between Rockport and Petals lol #taz #taz balance #barry bluejeans #magnus burnsides

[imogenkol]

🎵 ORIGINAL CHARACTER PLAYLISTS — IMOGEN KOL

[inspiration]

tag list (ask to be added or removed!): @adelaidedrubman @florbelles @marivenah @simonxriley @shegetsburned @voidika @kyber-infinitygems @v0idbuggy @inafieldofdaisies @statichvm @socially-awkward-skeleton @aceghosts @jillvalentinesday @risingsh0t @unholymilf @thedeadthree

#oc insp: imogen kol #as you can see i am unwell #I made moodboards but they felt too busy on this post so I went for more simplistic versions #I’ll probably post the boards separately eventually #FINALLY figured out how to rearrange the song order on spotify playlists #and immediately jumped on Imogen's cause I'm the most proud of hers tbh #and most of my other ones don't necessarily have a specific order like hers does #phases of her life rlly be: hate it here might go postal / villain era / fuck I fell in love now what #also imogen and bix do have a separate ship playlist but there is a bit of overlap so who knows if I'll make a post for that too #I'll pretend I'm happy with just this lol

[michellekyura]

im making my contribution to society because i cant handle the lack of content for this series ok.

#kyuras art #sushi pack #kani maki #maguro maki #im still kinda figuring out how i wanna draw these guys so for now ive only drawn them bc theyre my faves. absolute girlbosses. #girlbosses that also kiss to be exact. #i'll probably add the other 3 on to this eventually whenever i figure out how i wanna draw em. #i hope youre eating well all 4 sushi pack fans ever this goes out to us!

[rescuefield-arch1]

what if i changed my fc to ka.rol queir.oz

#she is my inspo for claire's tattoos already so you know #idk i won't lie i feel a bit stagnant in regards of my writing and there's something i need to change tho idk what #maybe i need to more plot driven things who knows! guess i'll figure out eventually #opening my tl and seeing everyone and their mom is suddenly using rebecca as fc is also making me feel some type of way #which is a me thing obviously nobody is at fault i'm just being dramatiqueTM i guess #i feel like i need to write some other character for a while gjhj #tbd.

[jin-zixun]

so like I'm sure it's been said before but like...

that's just the main road. I'm like 100% sure Jin Zixun is just negging getting after Su She for being there at all. I don't know what else he's talking about here. I guess this is the opening scene of the episode, so something could have happened before the opening, but like. The road seems pretty straightforward actually, no matter what Jin Guangyao says. And also Jin Guangyao is right there, waiting to intervene.

"Wander freely" But he's just. Literally entering Jinlintai (in this version at least). Kinda just comes across like he's saying SMS doesn't or shouldn't have the authority to show up at all. At least not in the capacity of like a visiting Sect Leader or the like.

I mean if Su She was actually lost here you could take it at face value like "hey visitors shouldn't be here" but visitors should be here. This is where visitors go. There are lots of people around. So why shouldn't Su She be here?

Not saying Jin Zixun comes off like he's just been hanging around waiting to bag on Su She but

I'm choosing to believe the Lan bros offended expressions here are actually just at how pretty Minshan looks here? Because he's looking very pretty. Wait what was I... Well, considering he seems to have actually done nothing wrong, Minshan seems wholly unsurprised by these events. Either he's expecting this shit from anyone (completely reasonable I guess?) Or he's expecting this shit from Jin Zixun in particular (and he *does not* like Jin Zixun in particular so...)

#ASSUMPTION: nothing we see on screen in episode 26 is the reason Jin Zixun got cursed #or it is but it's part of a pattern #like SMS is not a stranger to this sort of thing this is kinda mild #OPEN QUESTION: whatever the reason is... Did it happen before or after this moment? #or is it both and also this moment and Jin Zixun just canNOT figure out that bullying Minshan is A Bad Idea (TM) #I know it's CQL and it's implied JGY was in on it #but in not CQL he's not in on it! #su she #jin zixun #are there other episodes than episode 26? Idk I might have forgotten #I'll move on eventually #not today though

[ff2-soda-pop]

do you ever just dedicate an entire canvas to practicing how to draw one single character and Nothing Else-

#'why didnt you post this on your art blog-' didnt feel like it :D dfghgf #pokemon mystery dungeon #pokemon super mystery dungeon #psmd #pmd #pmd4 #super mystery dungeon #nuzleaf #nuzleaf psmd #nuzleaf pmd #my art #idk why im tagging this like this Is my art blog but. shhhhhh - my tumblr i can tag how i want FDGHGFD #also. ignore if some of this doesnt look the same on each drawing?? im still trying to figure nuzleaf out and so some things arent going to #be super consistent until i figure it out??? (rn its mostly the eyes and the leaf that im struggling at doing consistently? idk why??) #(i think it might be because how im doing the eyes is different from how im used to doing them and so its just throwing me off a bit? #and the leaf is um. well its a giant leaf and it confuses me DSFGFD) #drawing pokemon is. confusing. but its ok!!! i'll figure it out Eventually!!!! #also i need everyone to know that the ones labelled as 'referenced' basically just means i was checking my reference images every five #seconds and trying to get it as accurate as i could while still fitting in my own artstyle. and the other ones like... i had reference #images i just also Cared Less about if it wasnt as accurate or whatever and wasnt glancing at the refs every few seconds dsfghfd

[energeticpoltergeist]

still on my TOMC au bullshit so here be some drawings of the swap-verse's version of White Pantera!

like i did with swap!Frida i'll elaborate on him under the read more along with cropped versions of the images

so first off is the obvious part, he's a villain instead of a hero (which is part of why swap!Frida isn't allowed at the Rivera household since she's y'know a police cadet here)

still very dramatic and a bit of himbo, but somehow a bit more dramatic then he is in canon probably due to his crime being theatrical-esque (he's purposefully trying to make it grander then it is cause he likes being top of the headlines on the news)

seeing as this is a version of Rodolfo Rivera of course he's still in love with his ex-wife Maria, although the divorce was a tad bit messier then it was in canon

obviously cares about family(he's a Rivera after all that shit ain't changing) so he'll put family above villainy and such but he'll also take his son out to go commit crimes and talk about feelings

proud of his son for breaking rules, not so proud that his son is breaking the rules to hang out with a police cadet

the Bronze Boots of Truth still pretty much work as they did in canon, just cause something is truthful doesn't mean it's good or heroic after all (...no idea why he hasn't been banned from the local villain race when his power is running fast)

...may or may not get blackmailed at some point

#el tigre #el tigre au #el tigre the other miracle city au #fanart #rodolfo rivera #manny rivera #yeah im still on my bullshit #eventually i'll work on the other au stuff #and also dont expect all my art to be a bunch of drawings at once #im just trying to figure out how the fuck one draws this himbo of a man and figured may as well draw the TOMC swap-verse version #again slowly getting a grip on the show's artstyle #also now may be a good time to inform yall that all my digital art has been drawn with a mouse #my art

[48787]

New Transmission The fucking Scientific Instrument Class Pseudocons apparently developed what they're calling "Hetero Sapience" and are corrupting the brainmodules of the non-Pseudo 'cons around them by using annoying xenophilosophy words. Soundwave tells me they're 'Greek' and 'Latin' words, apparently. Cool, I guess? Anyway, if you see any SI Class 'cons causing... issues, just try your hardest to turn your brainmodule off before you start getting infected with their weird lingo, alongside all the other issues pertaining to letting the SI Pseudocons transmit data into your brainmodule in their own weird ways. Thundercracker, on a bet with Starscream, tried to get into an argument with one of them and his head literally exploded when it started talking about Alpha Trion's "Mythological Origins" in its weird dialect. He's mostly fine, CR Pods are working at 'peak' efficiency, but the facial reconstruction is apparently impossible due to some kind of corruption. I thought it was just some weird prank but there weren't even any scorch marks or anything. Just exploded. So yeah, just avoid optical contact and auditory contact to the best of your ability and you should be fine. Otherwise, try to force-shutdown your brainmodule if you can. Shockwave is working on a cure right now, mostly because I know he had something to do with this in the first place so he's going to be the one to fix it. He probably wanted a greater justification to do that weird data-transfer idea he mentioned previously. But it also explains the weird Thunderwing hypotheticals he's been asking me lately... Can I go one fucking cycle without someone trying to "Perfect Thunderwing's Work" or whatever other idiotic drivel that I keep finding our limited energon reserves siphoned into?? It's not even a Shockwave thing, it's like every damn Cybertronian these days thinks they have the "Missing piece of the puzzle" or whatever. In fact, Shockwave might be doing this as a weird threat against the other R&D 'cons to cement himself as the one and only Decepticon "Allowed" to have resources wasted on projects like that. Ugh, now that I think about it, that's probably a correct assumption and he's probably gonna expect me to thank him for it later. Ugh, and he's probably literally right. Ugh. At least his repairs both to himself and to his lab seem to be mostly complete so further research into the SI project should hopefully come along a little faster. Both Shockwave and Soundwave think the SIs could potentially be used as some kind of specialty weapon, but we'll have to see how they work on sparkless lifeforms, like biological lifeforms or xenomechanical lifeforms. The SIs don't seem to corrupt each other, but Shockwave keeps reaffirming that they're not "Sparkless Lifeforms" because they "were never lifeforms to begin with"... but I think he's trying to hide something. Usually Soundwave is the one to pick up on that kind of technological obfuscation, but he actually agreed with Shockwave and offered to send Ratbat to try to work out exactly what each "sapient" SI is now capable of on a personal level. We could have just had regular Cybertronians aboard to fill the role SIs fill. I would've preferred K Class to fill any role an SI could fill in all honesty!! But no, constructing cold wasn't enough, we just had to try to learn how to "Construct Frozen" and the "Absolute Zeroes" just had to be put on my ship. Whatever. I've probably said too much already. This was supposed to be a warning for my ship crew, but it's looking like it'll end up being transcribed on the golden disk as well so when this new Scientific Instruments of Destruction project backfires in some absurdly bombastic way there will at least be something remaining that says I was right. End of Transmission

New Transmission Okay so I was right, but so was Shockwave and Soundwave. Or, well, they were right just enough to make sure the backfire is postponed for at least another handful of cycles. Ratbat is still in CR from the investigation, but the cure Shockwave developed seems to be effective and Thundercracker is out and aiding the repair effort. Shockwave is now in contact with one of the SIs digitally and the other few are... integrating due to the personal efforts of Soundwave. I suppose now would be pertinent to mention not all the SIs developed the "Hetero Sapience" condition, many of them are safe for interaction. Soundwave is also currently monitoring their presence, Ravage is tasked with the regular SIs and Laserbeak is tasked with the "Sapient" SIs. Shockwave probably knows exactly what caused this event but he is preoccupied with the one he no doubt is either indoctrinating or ruthlessly interrogating. Report to Soundwave if you see any suspicious behavior, he has been working very hard to ensure the SIs have their purpose clearly defined (And closely monitored). And, Starscream, stop trying to convince the SIs that you are the leader of this ship. Not only have the majority of your efforts been wasted on subsentient automata, the only one you have actually found who possesses the ability to truly listen to you immediately came to the bridge to complain about you. They were the first sapient SI I communicated with directly and it was because they felt the need to complain about you. I almost feel embarrassed for you. Come back to the bridge so you can apologize to it or so I can teach it how to laugh at you. It's practicing right now actually! This moment of chaos should hopefully be largely under control now, the actual "population" of Scientific Instrument Class Pseudocons was actually quite fewer than initially expected due to an indexing error incorrectly labeling certain shells as SI class. At the very least, we have some more specialty warriors because of it all. End of Transmission EOF

#yippie peace through tyranny!! #nemesis posting #Decepticon High Command Slice of Life rambles #Matrix Visions #I like this “chat” font I think it's cool #spacebridge still needs more time in the oven unfortunately #I'm also procrastinating on that because I can't seem to wrap my head around guestmount but do not want to send backup files one at a time #wegh. It'll get done. Eventually. #I'll have so much more bullshit once I actually finish the damn comic my wife radically altered my life with hehehe #I cannot wait to start posting about Alpharius Trionicon. He's the fucking worst if you couldn't tell by name alone and I love him so much #Anyway I just had a very specific joke/pun in my head in the shower then it turned into a whole *thing* like it usually does. #I usually don't explain shit but the shower idea centered around getting the SI acronym to work for hyper specific jokes. #Still can't decide if I want to lock in on “Scientific Instrument” because it fits *so well* for *so many reasons* #But “Synthetic Intelligence” is more generic in a more understandable way... Eeh.. It's a little *too* generic. “Instrument” is cooler. #Once my wife helps me understand her lil fucker more I'll come up with an even shitter joke using “Y/N” so I can do Y/N x SI x SI bullshit! #Oh! The matrix triune project is coming along slowly as well!! I think I mentioned that microphone project once or twice now hehe #I'm gonna make so many shitty covers of songs once I get the soundproofing to start focusing on vocal training stuff #It's been quite a fun time aboard the nemesis!! There's so much to “Blog” about that it's hard to really know when to start *or* stop hehe! #And the fact that all these projects are all interwoven is so fucking wonderful!! I FINALLY feel able to fully grasp my own focus!! #My brain is like a particle collider for certain interests now. I can reliably just.. Spit things out and tie it into the other interests! #It's sometimes exhausting but in such a new way. Like a relieving exhaustion? #Still figuring that part out!! #Anyway that's enough personal project vagueposting I should really be getting back to work hehe this was fun

[jacksintention]

Still unwell about Rilke and PH

I love the dark hours of my being.

My mind deepens into them.

There I can find, as in old letters,

the days of my life, already lived,

and held like a legend, and understood.

Then the knowing comes: I can open

to another life that's wide and timeless.

So I am sometimes like a tree

rustling over a gravesite

and making real the dream

of the one its living roots

embrace:

a dream once lost

among sorrows and songs.

#There's in Rilke and especially in this particular book a lot about the world‚ created in the beholding and loving it‚ #and one existing to love the world. There's so much about the world being created by that loving and knowing the world of one individual #person that loves and knows it. A kind of feedback loop of existing and being by love and knowledge that is all a participation #on the act of creation. The person coming to exist to love and know the world‚ and creating the world by loving and beholding it #This is also present on Juan Ramón Jiménez‚ among others‚ but 5 yo me was obsessed with those poems. ANYWAY #This topic made me think of Lacie a lot but in this particular poem that topic + the 'I'm sorry' scene + the figure of Lacie beyond Lacie‚ #a Lacie that's legend and real‚ a Lacie always sitting under a tree‚ life ending and life expanding so to speak‚... #That kind of knowing it all in a glimpse that is knowing in an instant and eternal (which again reminds me of Kierkegaard‚ #fitting I'd say with Rilke). I'm explaining myself terribly but I don't want to talk too much haha But yeah it all seemed very fitting #There was another poem about spiralling so to speak around god that I also thought was very Lacie but very PH in general #('I live my life in widening circles / that reach out across the world. / I may not complete this last one / but I give myself to it / #I circle around God‚ around the primordial tower. / I've been circling for thousands of years / and I still don't know: am I a falcon‚ / #a storm or a great song?'). The spiralling around god in what is still some sort of emanence or reflection of it while being also #different iterations of the self which all reflect it also reminded me a lot of Cantor's transfinite numbers #Which again is quite fitting and coherent with the other authors and PH imo‚ but I may be biased. Anyway yes. This reminded me of Lacie #I didn't plan on drawing anything at first and now I have to flinch to read the poem #I hope I'll recognise enough of what I've written when I eventually come back to this #I talk too much #I should probably delete this later #mine*

[dragongirlbunny]

goddamn is it confusing trying to talk about me (system) and me (main identity/personality) when we also are both Ariadne and also an alter latched on to 'prime' as a name so I cant even use Ariadne Prime to refer to headspace me

#also uh. surprise. i figured out i'm a system. #i'll probably post more about that eventually #but it wont impact that much since the others dont really seem interested in fronting #just copiloting or annoying me #system shit

[rose-ramblings]

you'll never guess what I've been playing lately

#goldic's drawings #vegito #dragon ball dokkan battle #good news everyone! I found a shading brush that I'm happy with! #i'll finish that other thing I keep mentioning eventually I swear I've only got 3 characters left to do on it #but uhhhhh y e a h I've been playing Dokkan for like a week and a half now (blame the content creators for making it look really fun) #I understand absolutely nothing other than 'it's a big number go brr type of game' #but it also gets me to use some strategy in my team building and fighting which I am very much enjoying so far #i didn't get Mr. Yosha himself or melty Zamasu (much to my personal sadness) but I did get a copy of Power-Awakening Piccolo #and enough of that PHY Zamasu with the tea set to rainbow him (and waaaay too many of a certain SR SSJ Goku that can awaken into SSG) #and a copy of that new Mai I guess (I'm not entirely sure how to use her properly in battle yet but I'll figure it out) #I've been calling that PHY Zamasu I mentioned 'Tea Time Zamasu' btw (mostly cuz of the tea set in his art) #oh yeah speaking of Tea Time Zamasu that man's been carrying my team in terms of eating hits like a champ so #definitely gonna be using him a lot; especially since *gestures to blog theme* he's one of my favorite villains in dragon ball #I haven't Dokkan Awakened the Piccolo at all yet (he's just a max level UR rn) but he's been pretty damn useful in taking hits himself #first unit I made an LR (besides the free one) was a Zamasu that turned into an LR Goku Black (F2P STR I think; he's my support unit rn) #I've also already collected all of Bardock's F2P crew and mostly maxed them out because I'm totally normal about it hehe #bardock's crew best crew I don't make the rules #goldic rambles #this is transparent because I couldn't figure out a decent background to give it