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luffysmeat · 5 years

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More artist [Name]-san to clean our souls! 💕 I hope you enjoy this! I'm sorry for the long wait! And I'm also sorry because I'm gonna make headcanons instead of scenarios! I hope you don't mind too much! (This one got a bit longer than expected! Sorry for the spam!)

Kidd

It's hard to be an artist.

You always have the need to draw certain people or certain objects because they are appealing to your eyes.

One of those certain people is none other than your captain: Eustass Kidd.

Kidd is fierce. You know that. Even as a lover he's rather the violent, possessive and dominant type.

People usually try to stay away from him, always scowling and looking as he's about to murder the neext person that looks at him.

But, even when you know that, to you... He's a masterpiece.

Your fingers always itch to make a painting or even just a quick drawing of him, from the very first moment you ever land an eye on him.

You can easily ask him, really, but knowing him, he'd say no and that would upset you quite a lot... So you don't risk it, even though...

"You're staring again." ... You always find yourself doing exactly that, staring at him and being exposed by Killer.

You can't really blame yourself. The mere existence of Kidd is enough to have you wanting make a painting of him, so now that he's working out right in front of you... It's really hard not to stare.

His muscles tensing and stretching with each of his movements as he beares his teeth a bit, growling softly, reaching his limit already. He's covered in a thin layer of sweat and, really, who the heck allowed him to work out shirtless?

"For God's sake, you are staring again."

You can't help but laugh, your cheeks burning bright red. "I'm sorry. I really, really want to draw him."

"Don't you have thousands of drawings?"

"I do, but they're just quick sketches, I want to make a painting... Do you think he'd be happy to know that?"

Killer hums, looking at his captain who's suddenly screaming to a poor guy that stepped too close to him while he was doing push-ups.

"No," he simply says and you bark out a laugh, flushing when Kidd looks up at you with narrowed eyes.

Maybe he's right...

However, later that day, when everyone settled down to their respective quarters and you sneaked into the captain's chambers claiming that you were cold, (not after he growled and scolded you while be opened the door for you and threw like three covers to the bed), you thought that it was the time to actually ask him!

So, as you watched him sitting in front of his desk, ("warm yourself up! I gotta finish this first!"), checking on some reports... You know that you really love your lover...

From his protective and fierce side to his always-angry-face, however, you loved him in this state even more: his features relaxed as he reads down on some documents, his hair down and his head free of those goggles of his. He's even wearing a simple long sleeved shirt that wraps around his muscles, his reading glasses sitting gracefully on the bridge of his nose.

He looks ethereal and you immediately reach down for your drawing materials, (which you keep in the last drawer of his bedside table), and place yourself in bed.

"Captain?"

"Hmm?" His hum sounds more like a growl and you laugh.

"Captain, can I make a painting of you?"

He looks up at you, his eyes squinting, "what?"

"I'm sure you heard me."

"I heard you," he snaps back. "But I'm asking why are you such an idiot." You laugh at his words.

"Don't be scared, captain. You'll look even better in my painting."

"Scared?! Who is scared? And even better, is that even possible?" You roll your eyes. "Do whatever you want. I don't care and stop talking, I'm busy right now."

"Is that a yes?"

"[Name]..."

"Thank you captain!" You giggle, quickly pulling out everything, from pencils to brushes and acrylics; placing everything on the bed as carefully as you can. "I know," you say, hearing him open his mouth to speak. "You'll snap my neck if I mess up with your precious bed."

He growls again, but he refrains from saying anything else, coming back to his report.

You don't say anything else, either, as you place the sketchbook into your lap and as soon as you find a clean sheet, you start to trace his form with a light pencil, sketching him easily, thanks to all the practice. Your eyes do not linger on his body, you know by memory each curve, dip and sharp bone on his body.

So it doesn't take long before you start with the actual painting, brushing on your canvas quickly and not noticing that Kidd was looking at you with the softest of looks he can even master.

He makes sure to quickly look down at his paperwork when you look up at him, frowning and pursing his lips a bit.

After a few minutes, he's too engrossed in his work and you are aswell, so when the clock marks 2 am and his back already feels stiff and his eyeslids heavy, he's ready to call it a day and wrap up his work to finally lay down in bed... But he sees you there...

"Oi, I want to sleep already, how much time is gonna-

"I'm done!" You say excitedly, there are actual tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You really did it! You really made a painting of Eustass Kidd! What a nice moment to be al-

"Let me see it."

"E-Eh?"

He raises an eyebrow. "Let me see it, you said I'd look better in your painting that in real life, so let me see how good I look."

Now maybe you have a big mouth, it's true that the painting was good... But Kidd couldn't get any more good-looking... Is not natural... You show him, regardless and he's speechless.

"It's..." He says, getting up from his chair and walking towards you, snatching the painting out of your hands. He studies it carefully, his eyes are wide and his mouth slightly open. "It's..." He looks at you and bites down his tongue, you are looking at him with such a gleam in your eyes! Stop! "It's... Not bad."

"Aah! Really? Do you like it? You can't keep it!"

"Like it? I've seen better! I'm sure you can improve! Unbelievable! You were bragging all around and..." He slowly shuts his mouth as he actually looks for a place to put the drawing. It end ups in a drawer on his desk... A drawer that he very much use it all the time.

That's more than you can ask from Kidd. "I'm glad you liked it, captain."

"... Move, let's sleep now. I'll kill you if you still the blankets."

Killer

He loves looking at you while you are drawing.

He has told you plenty of times that he loves how lovely you look and how adorable are certain things that you unconsciously do when you are too focused.

He has also asked you plenty of times if he can see your art and you answer is always the same:

"O-oh, it's not that great!"

With that little stuttering and all, but he knows you are is great because you do sometimes share a drawing of painting to him.

But you really don't want to show him the rest of your art because... He's in most of it!

He's there eating, training, fighting, even just breathing! You are just too embarrassed to actually show him that!

What if he thinks you are stalking him? ... Even though he's your lover is still very embarrassing.

The less he knows, the better... However, one night when you got quite a few drinks on you and he was taking you back to your room, you just couldn't keep your mouth shut.

"I love you," you say over and over again as he walked you to the room and placed you in bed.

"I love you too."

"And you are very hot." That caught him a bit off guard as he tried to pull your hair in a bun. "That's why I can't stop drawing you."

"... What?"

You giggle like a maniac. "That's the reason I don't let you look at my drawings! They're all you! Every single one."

He's blushing juuust a bit as he puts his mask off. "Every single one?"

"Mhmm," you nod. "Every single one... I actually want to make a painting of you!"

"... Do it."

"Really?" He nods and you smile widely. "Then I will... But right now I'm sleepy, so goodnight, I love you see you..."

You fell asleep in seconds, losing a small smile on Killer's lips and a kiss on your forehead.

But that's okay because you are way too embarrassed the next morning.

You actually just exposed yourself while drunk, huh? Great! Just great, now he will think that You-

And then you remember, he actually said you could make a painting of him!

You look at your side, Killer is still asleep, so you silently gather all your art stuff and get to work immediately.

You don't feel time passing until Killer started to wake up, groaning softly like he always does and making you giggle.

He looks at you right away, surprised to see you up, sitting on the bed. "Morning. Why are you awake? How are you feeling?"

You smile at him. "Good morning. I'm good, thank you for taking care of me. And I was... Just finishing your painting."

He wakes up fully right away and sits up, looking at you with slightly wide eyes. You giggle, placing a hand on his cheek. "You are so beautiful. Thank you for letting me do this."

He leans in your touch and nods as you lend him the still fresh painting. He widens his eyes slightly.

"This is..."

"You looked so paceful, I couldn't resist painting you like this. I... Wanted a painting of you without your mask, though, I'm sorry."

He looks at the painting for minutes before he finally puts it down and and holds you between his arms.

"Thank you. I love it. I'll keep it forever."

You smile widely, embracing him back. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Oh, let me clean this up, I'm gonna ruin the sheets aga- oh, nevermind."

He laughs and you feel in heaven.

Baby 5

"Are you drawing again, [Name]?"

You jump out of your skin, quickly closing the sketch book in front of you.

"B-Baby 5-san, you scared me."

Baby 5 squeaks and apologizes like crazy, nearly crying in the spot.

"A-ah! It's fine! It's fine! It's not your fault!" You chuckle, holding her hands between yours. "I am not angry," you say smiling at her.

She lets out a long sigh, holding your hands back. "W-what are you drawing so focused?" She asks shyly, widening her eyes when your cheeks turn bright red. "Oh?"

"It's- it's nothing bad! It's just... It's just..." You let go of her hands to cover your face. "I really want to draw Baby 5-san... But I'm not sure if-

"You- y-y-y-y-you want to draw me?" She grabs your shoulders, shaking you a bit.

"Y-Yeah, Baby 5-san is really beautiful and I want to make a painting... For you..."

Baby 5 looks at you for like one second before she actually starts crying, hugging you tightly. "B-Baby 5-san, don't cry please! Did I upset you?" You hug her back, but she grabs you by the shoulder again, shaking you until you feel dizzy.

"Y-You didn't upset me! I'm happy! Stop being so stupid! But you are not stupid! I'm sorry for saying that!" You hold her back, trying to stop her shaking you as you giggle.

"Then, is that a yes? Can I make a painting of you?"

"Yes, you can! Dammit!"

You really don't ask her to make any pose for you, you only need to see her around and about to catch all of figure.

She gets a bit nervous, though, because you are following her around and also get a bit worried because she sees you holding all of your stuff everywhere you go.

She cries a bit when you accidentally let one of your acrylics fall, messing up the floor.

"I've finished," you say that night when both of you are back into your quarters. "It's still a bit fresh, so please be careful with your fingers- Oh," you whisper, hiding the painting behind your back. "D-Do you want to look at it?"

"What? Yes, of course I want to!"

You smile shyly at her, and slowly show your painting.

She cries and you laugh a bit.

"Now now, you've been crying a lot today. Is it that bad, Baby 5-san?"

She hits your arm, making you laugh. "Don't be silly! I love it! It's... It's so pretty! No one has... Has ever made something like this for me. I- I-

You hug her tightly, kissing her cheek. "You are my beautiful girlfriend, of course I would make something just as beautiful as you. I love you."

She sobs and leans in to kiss you. You hum, holding her face between your hands as you kiss her back.

Lola

"Lo-Lola-san!" You giggle, trapped between her arms as she covers your face with kisses. "S-stop!" Your cheeks are bright red, Lola only squeezing you tighter in her embrace.

"What do you mean stop?" She asks, actually stopping to look at you. "You expect me to just sit there and say 'okay' when you ask me to make a painting of me?! Impossible!"

"I-If you are kissing me like this, I will not be able to actually do the painting!" She hums, kissing you one more time before she lets go of you.

"After you are finished with the painting, please marry me, [Name]," she says seriously, holding your hand between hers.

You giggle shyly. "I already said that I will marry you, now let me get my stuff ready, okay?"

Lola is usually very composed, but, as soon as you asked her if you could make a painting of her, she nearly cried, screaming and throwing hearts and flowers everywhere and even using that funny voice of hers when she feels too "enamored".

"How should I pose for you, [Name]?"

"I heard you saying that you have to take care of some paperwork, you can do that while I work on your painting!"

You laugh nearly all your painting session.

Everytime you look up at Lola, she's in a different pose, each pose more dramatic than the last.

She even asks you to stop laughing because "you're gonna ruin my painting, [Name]!"

"I will not ruin it if you stop doing such poses!"

She eventually stopped, not because she wanted to, but because she got a bit occupied with her paperwork.

Now that your laughter died on, you worked faster and in a couple of hours, you were sighing and stretching your arms up.

"Lola-san, I've finished!"

She literally jumps out of her seat and runs to you in a blink of an eye.

She gasps as she looks at the painting. She's not sitting just sitting formally in front of her desk, she is actually in one of her silly poses, showing her big smile and the warm eyes he looks at you with, her cheeks flushed slightly and it's just-

"[Name], it's beautiful!"

"That's because you are beautiful, Lola-san!" She looks at you with teary eyes. "You are the one in the painting, so of course it is beautiful, just like you!"

She lets out a cry and wraps you in another tight hug, even lifting you a bit.

"Thank you, [Name]! I love you so much!" She cries as she gives you another round of endless kisses.

"I love you too, Lola-san!" You answer giggling and hugging her just as tight.

#eustass kidd #killer #Charlotte Lola #baby 5 #one piece headcanons #r: headcanons #r: things #long post

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Jac & Jesse

Jac: [some gossip about him that could either be a bit true or totally hilariously not] Jac: when were you gonna tell me, like? Jesse: 👎 Jac: That's what you would say now you've been found out Jac: I 👀 Jesse: not to you Jac: Hmm Jac: I look forward to getting the actual info to spread about then Jesse: you'll have a long wait, dickhead Jesse: be gone by then Jac: Where are you going? Jesse: be quicker to ✔ off where I ain't Jesse: fully booked, me Jac: No one likes a show-off 🙄😏 Jac: how busy are you now? Jesse: busy with a ☕ Jesse: you alright? Jac: Yeah, I'm good Jac: I'm just getting ready for when I go on my own one-stop tour Jac: so when you've got a minute between ☕s maybe we can talk Jesse: go on Jac: You sure? Jac: not trying to be that customer that can't take a hint Jesse: you heard Jesse: don't need to be the customer pissing about when I'm trying to close up Jesse: you're fine to crack on Jac: alright, understood Jac: I won't nurse my ☕ and order a 2nd with five minutes to go Jac: I don't know how to start what I wanna say, helpful, I know Jesse: I ain't put a ⏲ on Jesse: take a bit if you need Jac: I mean, you put me on the 🕔 a bit but I'll just ignore you when you put up the chairs around me 💁 Jac: There's a lot of stuff I don't wanna leave left unsaid Jac: well, a lot of me does wanna leave it and I know a lot of you probably ain't gonna thank me for it either but I don't think I SHOULD leave some of it, the way it has been Jesse: alright Jac: fuck's sake Jac: okay, do you want the apology, the thanks, or the reasons Jac: because I can do them all but you know, pick your fave or least so we can get it out of the way, I don't know Jesse: can you even have a sorry or thanks without the why bit? Jesse: if I dunno what you're sorry for or saying tah for, not getting very far, like Jac: since you've not actually got me a drink, you've got some idea Jac: but okay, I hear reasons loud and clear, no need to be so coy Jac: you know why I need to say thank you Jac: that's more apparent, and easier Jac: and I didn't just pick you because I had no one else, I still could've made mum do it all with me or nan Jac: I wouldn't have picked anyone else, anyway, which sucks for you but yeah, you stepped up and I wasn't appropriately grateful at the time, or close, so I'll say it now Jac: thanks Jesse: you weren't ready to tell her, I get that, that's why I did Jesse: and it weren't like I did it for a tah Jac: no, I know Jac: but I should still say it now, I wanna Jac: it was still shit, and is always gonna be a shit thing that happened to me but you took a bit of it on, and that counts Jesse: you can have one back, tah for not dying, that worried me for a bit there Jac: I still don't feel like I was ever that reckless, like, I know how that sounds, and obviously the baby was a wake-up call that it had gone TOO far, even for my standards Jac: but under normal circumstances, I would've protected you from that, cared to and I didn't, so that's a sorry too Jesse: it was shit scary, the baby bit especially, but that's why I weren't gonna just leave you to it Jac: I thought I had a handle on the rest, but yeah, I should probably let that idea go since what does that matter given what happened Jac: you could've, and I wanted you to, so sorry/thanks again Jac: that's the least eloquent way I can put it Jesse: if it makes it less of a headfuck for you, reckoning that you had it sorted, you can have it Jesse: I don't mind Jesse: but you ain't ever getting me turning my back however much you want it Jac: I don't know, I was doing reckless, destructive things, but I never thought I was going to die Jac: accidents happen though, so, maybe I can accept now that I was tempting shit back then Jac: I don't want it now, and I did want that less as the year went on Jac: but I'm aware it's shit I ever did, that that must've been, well Jesse: what happened to Is was proper raw for all of us back then, probably put me on edge about you more than it would've done Jac: Yeah Jac: it was so right after, I know that's what mum and dad thought Jesse: we've all thought all kinds of shit Jesse: Jude's said loads of it to me before now, like I can give her an answer ✔ or ❌ Jac: and I deserve to live with the consequences of just letting you all speculate Jac: I really know that, and I'm gonna talk to everyone and you can all say or not say whatever you want to me, it's all fair Jesse: we've all lived Jac: that don't mean it's alright Jac: or I ever reckoned it was Jac: I knew it weren't Jac: and again, that makes it less okay Jesse: you weren't alright, none of us were big enough dickheads not to work that out, even her Jac: Obviously Jac: but the point is, you can hold me accountable now and it won't be a waste of time, you know Jesse: you've been a prick, me an' all loads of times, we both will be again in a bit Jac: it's a bit more than that Jac: come on, don't insult me like you reckon I was like that before Jesse: yeah Jesse: but I ain't gonna bother to hold it against you til you actually do 💀 Jac: that's weird Jac: leave your grudges 'til the grave Jesse: I mean I ain't bothering with any grudges Jac: Alright, hippie Jac: are you graciously accepting my apology and gratitude then or what? Jesse: I'll take it Jac: okay Jac: anything you wanna say? Jac: not last words or anything but if you can before you 💀 I'd appreciate it Jesse: you gonna say why then or what? Jac: It isn't as if it's just the one thing Jac: and now that I have to say, there's the fear that you're all gonna say it wasn't a good enough excuse and that's why I didn't say anything in the first place so Jac: let me work up to it Jesse: just call me a massive twat Jac: No, like, it was a lot Jac: and for what Jac: but it was logical at the time, and what I felt I had to do, whether that seems warranted or nah Jesse: I ain't gonna say you weren't 💔 enough for what you did Jesse: nowt to do with me Jac: You might not Jac: you might think it Jac: but I'm not gonna concoct some lie that makes it all seem worthwhile, can't be that bitch Jac: fake sob story Jesse: unless you're a 🧠📖 that don't matter Jac: I'm not used to gossip rags lying or chatting shit on me Jac: I don't wanna imagine that you think the worst of me, tah Jesse: you already have done Jesse: it weren't just us imagining all sorts, come on Jac: I really, on the whole, wasn't thinking about anyone else Jac: not to brag about it Jac: none of you anyway, it wasn't like I HAD to do that, but it also wasn't a choice, being that cunt, shutting you all out Jac: my 🧠 wouldn't Jesse: not offering you a 🏆 or owt Jesse: you've sorted your head out a bit now, if you wanna tell us Jac: I don't but like, I don't want you all thinking the worse now, when that doesn't need to be a thing Jac: We can't have mum and dad thinking I'm gonna go live some trainspotting fantasies in Edinburgh Jac: 'cos I can't have them making trips over all the time, obviously Jac: also, don't wanna bore you with every in and out, so hold on whilst I storyboard my fucking drama here Jesse: would be a pisstake Jac: It all started when Amelia stopped being friends with us Jac: I don't know if she told you fuck all, as you're such pals these days, but it wasn't just like, a natural drifting apart Jesse: it was 'cause she was in love with you Jesse: dunno if you knew that an' all Jac: yeah Jac: that was it Jac: there was a relatively big declaration and like, I wasn't a dick about it, I don't think Jac: but I didn't feel the same like that so that was enough Jesse: it would be, yeah Jac: so like, she was gone but obviously not I still saw her all the fucking time 'cos there's no escaping anyone in this town, and that was just awkward at first Jesse: obviously Jac: and it did kind of piss me off, that she seriously couldn't be my friend still Jac: but it wasn't all about that, there was the Savannah element of it for us both Jesse: 'course Jac: She was jealous of her, didn't like her, all that Jac: and I cared less, because I did have her Jac: and then the Isabelle thing happened Jac: and it all really got fucked up Jesse: she was proper gone Jac: who was? Jesse: Savannah Jac: Right Jac: but before that Jac: the guy Jac: with Isabelle Jac: we didn't know Jac: but we knew he was like, well we thought he was gross, a bit cringe Jac: so me and Sav set her up Jac: people weren't wrong blaming us, even though they got the situation wrong and they didn't know that, it was just between us Jac: that's why we ran away, and a big part of why she HAD to leave, even if her dad wasn't the most controlling person ever Jesse: what did you reckon would happen? with this lad and Is? Jac: just that...I don't even know now Jac: that she'd make out with him and we could take the piss out of her for it Jac: or he'd try it on and that would be funny because he was so gross Jac: not that he wouldn't take no for an answer, that was never what either of us had imagined Jac: but we still aided that situation, even if unknowingly Jesse: no shit you didn't imagine that Jac: fact was and is, if we weren't such shit friends to her Jac: he was still at the party, still could've Jac: but it might not have been her Jesse: I could have a go at you about how you should've been a more decent mate but it's nowt you don't already know Jac: Yeah Jac: feel free to but obviously that's a huge part of what I've been thinking on these past two years so, you don't have to, like Jac: and then, like you said, Sav left Jac: and I couldn't be friends with Isabelle and I couldn't be friends with Amelia and that was that Jesse: you could've said something to me Jac: I've only just been able to Jac: for ages, it was easier to keep blaming her, or say it would've happened anyway Jac: it was raw Jac: everyone was in shock, and I didn't wanna give a basis for the shit people were saying Jac: god knows how it would've been Jesse: alright Jesse: it was fucking bad enough, I remember Jesse: the bollocks people were saying Jac: not that I had to come out and make an announcement, but even if I'd tried to explain to Is, to apologize, she'd tell her new friends and then everyone would know and I'd be as bad as him Jac: worse for the betrayal Jac: I didn't wanna hack that on my own Jesse: or she'd tell her ma and that'd be Jesse: fucking hell Jac: right Jac: she'd probably call the police or something like they can lock me up Jac: and she knew I was a bad friend, Is, I mean Jac: she'd known we all were to her for a while Jac: but I am gonna talk to her, before I go Jesse: 💡🥇 Jac: I know I'm not dying but it's the first fresh start I've had Jac: any of us, even if someone doesn't wanna forgive me, at least they know the score, if nothing else Jac: and I know I've said what I should Jesse: I'm chuffed for you, mate Jesse: don't reckon I could be 💔 and get into a top uni Jac: you could write a top hit though Jesse: don't sound like me Jesse: but I'd probably give it a go if I were Jac: that's all it's about ain't it ❤ & 💔 Jesse: depends Jac: I've never heard a top 40 about... Jac: idk, mowing the grass Jac: doing your taxes Jac: it ain't the mundane Jesse: I'll write one for you if you're gonna be 💔 about it Jac: I think I'll survive, tah Jac: rather not read the speculation about who broke your heart 🤢 Jesse: 🍻 Jesse: you gonna have a word with Sav an' all? Jac: She's arguably one of the only people I didn't really screw over Jac: she got to go to a better school and get a new, rich pretty boyfriend and not deal with that whole backlash Jac: though I'm sure she feels her guilt for it too Jesse: but there's shit you wanna say that you didn't get to Jesse: half arsed fresh start if you don't Jac: I did say it Jac: well, did Jac: she knows Jac: I don't think there's anything to be gained for her or for me from that one Jesse: 👍 Jac: Not got an actual checklist of people to get through but you know Jac: close enough Jesse: make dad a ☕ all it takes to get in his good books Jac: good books is a stretch but not being on his must-constantly-check-in-on list myself will do for now so yeah, fair shout Jesse: yeah if you're well enough to put the kettle on and make a brew you're well enough to do owt Jac: parenting 101 Jac: ✅ Jesse: 🥇🏆 Jac: not serving it to him in a 🏆 Jac: laying it on a bit thick, I reckon Jesse: 🤏 Jac: Well, we're good then? Jac: not to 🕔 or anything Jesse: yeah Jac: yeah yeah or yeah, I guess Jesse: we're good Jac: Good Jac: if I'm not on my repentance tour, might see you when you get home then Jesse: might do Jac: yes very 😎 Jesse: 🤠

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Nancy & Rio

Nancy: I can't believe you're going along with this craziness Nancy: Oh my god, Rio Rio: I know it's fast Rio: but really, what difference does it make Nancy: It's not just fast, it's rushed Nancy: Not to sound like my mother but he should literally be at school Rio: I did tell him to go back Rio: He just wants to help with all the mess here Nancy: By leaving to jet off and get married? Yeah okay Rio: Well, obviously that's different Rio: but that's for me Nancy: My parents are gonna kill him, you do know that, right? Rio: I know Rio: but like I said, everyone knew Rio: it wasn't just empty words, we were always going to go through with it Nancy: Jesus Nancy: When he'd graduated, sure Nancy: Not now Nancy: He's not even started uni yet Rio: Give him chance to see the world and change his mind Rio: I know that's what your family wants, it's alright Nancy: If you're thinking there's a chance of it too, don't marry him Nancy: You're already engaged, everyone knows he's with you Nancy: You don't need to prove he's locked down before freshers week, like Rio: That's not why we're doing this Rio: Or how I am Nancy: Explain it to me then, 'cause lord knows he hasn't Rio: It is getting a little old, like Rio: Because we want to be married Rio: How else is there to say it Nancy: But why can't you just wait? Rio: Why should we though? Nancy: There's only a million reasons Nancy: Namely you aren't kids anymore and know how to be mature about things Nancy: Everyone would wanna be there, not tacked on as an afterthought, like Nancy: He should want to not spend all my parents money on this and wait until he's earning his own Nancy: You don't even live together Nancy: Do I actually have to go on? Rio: No you don't Rio: none of you want to be there Rio: and your parents don't specify what he's gotta do with the ridiculous amount of money they throw at him so Rio: if they wanna now it's a bit late, isn't it Nancy: That's not true Nancy: You're being unfair Nancy: Give me some credit if not them, I've been nothing but supportive Rio: I'm not saying you've not accepted that it's happening Rio: most have but no one's happy about it and that's fine Rio: can't force it but why wouldn't we want to do it alone without the pressure and background thought of all your lots bullshit, you know Nancy: No, you're just saying I wouldn't wanna be there Nancy: I love you both Rio: We'll have another one Rio: Later, with everyone Nancy: That's not the same Nancy: That's just a party Rio: What, you're really invested in the religious ceremony now or the legality of it all? Rio: It'll be the same Nancy: You're gonna be a bitch to me right now, really? Nancy: Okay fine Rio: I'm not trying to be a bitch but really Rio: it isn't an argument, stick to your former points if you like Rio: but that ain't valid Nancy: Oh my god, Buster spends all this time acting like I don't care, basically telling me I don't and now when I'm trying to show that I do neither of you want it Rio: Because it only comes up whenever y'all want us to not do something Nancy: Don't lump me in with my parents Nancy: That's so rude Rio: Sorry Rio: We told you because you are different Rio: and we weren't going to just do it and give you no warning Nancy: But not different enough that you actually want me there Nancy: Or that you don't think I need to be warned like this is the worse news ever or something Rio: It's hardly personal, come on Rio: We don't want anyone there Nancy: It's personal to me Nancy: I've only got one brother Rio: He isn't dying Rio: This doesn't need to be the thing it's becoming Rio: plenty of couples do the official wedding before the reception and all that, it's not that different Nancy: Other couples don't matter to me Nancy: And I don't know how you don't get what a big deal this is, not only that you're getting married, which is one thing Nancy: But also that you're basically doing it in secret again Rio: It's not a secret Rio: it's just for us Rio: I want to do one thing for myself Rio: all due respect this isn't about any of you Nancy: I'm not trying to make you feel bad Nancy: Or take anything away from you Nancy: Honestly Nancy: I'm just trying to get my head around this Rio: Yeah Rio: It's okay Rio: I know it's sudden, like I said Nancy: I know he really wants this Nancy: I could tell Nancy: I just Nancy: Is anything ever gonna calm down with this family, or? Rio: Probably not Rio: Looking unlikely Nancy: If you're happy that's all I want Nancy: Oversimplified maybe but Rio: I know it's not going to make you happy Rio: I'm just trying to say Rio: do you have to be unhappy about it, like Rio: it's not the worst thing, yeah Nancy: I'm not unhappy, I was just shocked Nancy: This is my brother you're marrying, you know Nancy: It's not exactly typical of him Rio: I know Rio: I know it's weird, like I am aware Rio: but it just is, you know Nancy: I understand Nancy: You want what you want Nancy: You can't unwant it 'cause someone else tells you to or isn't happy about it Nancy: You shouldn't have to Nancy: You literally don't have to, like Rio: Yeah Rio: Pretty much Rio: I'm sorry Nancy: Don't apologize Nancy: I couldn't just not be gay when I was getting bullied for it Nancy: I'm glad I don't like boys, believe me Nancy: Buster's the happiest he's ever been, you did that. So don't be sorry Rio: I didn't mean for any of this to happen Rio: to like him, I just did Rio: but I can't live an apology when I don't feel it anymore Nancy: I know Nancy: You love each other, you don't get to control that Nancy: And its a good thing, even when it doesn't feel like it Nancy: Who wants to be alone? To fight against what they want? Nancy: You're happy so be it Rio: Thanks, Nance Rio: You know we love you too Nancy: I know you do Nancy: Jury's still out on him Rio: Nah Rio: He does Nancy: Today maybe Nancy: 'Cause I'm not gonna tell mum and ruin his life Rio: Least wait 'til we're outta the country Rio: wouldn't put it past her to get us on the no-fly list Nancy: I'm gonna let her see all his bragging on the socials instead Nancy: More fun that way Nancy: "Your classroom looks suspiciously tropical, Buster" Nancy: While Dad just hits him with "Cool pic" Rio: 😂 Rio: Gonna laugh whilst I can Nancy: Me too Nancy: On the plus side, I think you've taken the heat off me at least until I graduate, so thanks Rio: Easy Rio: if I live to cause more turmoil you're very welcome Rio: what are the hated daughter-in-laws for after-all Nancy: 😂 Nancy: Oh honey, once you're married in you're gonna wish she hated you Nancy: She's gonna get so invested in your life Nancy: Can't have you ruining his, after all Rio: I'll take it Rio: Didn't stick around for career's advice and I could do worse, like Nancy: True Nancy: I'm just basking in the joy of knowing it literally doesn't matter who I bring home Nancy: Oh the freedom Rio: 😏 Rio: Charming Nancy: You know what I mean Nancy: I could be fucking my therapist and it'd be sidelined by this Rio: Well Rio: are you Nancy: Gross Nancy: No Rio: That's alright then Nancy: But she constantly says I need to be single for a while, so she clearly wants me for herself Rio: Deffo Nancy: Like, excuse you, Diane, I've been single for 18 years near enough Nancy: 1 girlfriend, honey, we've talked about it, get with the program Rio: Basically a nun Rio: out here calling you a dirty jezzie Nancy: Yeah, I know Nancy: Thank god you're giving me time to find a date for the other wedding Nancy: Clearly I'll need it, or a new therapist Rio: If you're moving Diane in, then yeah Rio: Unprofessional Nancy: Lord Nancy: She is so not the one Nancy: I think I hate her? Is that meant to be a thing? Rio: Probably Rio: You're stubborn and she's essentially telling you what to do Nancy: It's even worse Nancy: She makes me tell myself 🙄 Rio: Yeah Rio: Smug, init Nancy: It really is Nancy: Ugh enough about me Nancy: When are you going? What are you wearing? Rio: Brazil Rio: and Christ knows, oddly I don't have a wedding dress just hanging about Rio: I'll find one there, I guess Nancy: The question was when, he told me where but he hadn't got that far Nancy: I think he thinks you're gonna call it off unless you've made it to the actual plane Nancy: Just don't get married in a white bikini, yeah? Rio: Oh, my bad Rio: Head is truly all over the place Rio: Well, I am that tacky Nancy: 😲 take that back right now Nancy: You are not Nancy: This isn't the mindset Rio: Do you wanna like, moodboard my shotgun wedding for me? 😂 Rio: That's what I'm hearing here Nancy: UM YES Nancy: Get some Chanel and YSL involved, like Rio: Noted Rio: Whether that's the old or new depends how skint we're feeling once we're there, clearly Nancy: It's got to be classic or I'm disowning you Nancy: I'll allow you to save the real designer labels for the big day, bit of Vera or whoever but I can only budge so far, sorry Nancy: The silhouette is still everything even if he's the only one seeing it Rio: 😂 Rio: That's what I'm saying, stick with the bikini Rio: He'll be blown away Nancy: 🙄🙄 Nancy: That's so disgustingly true as well Nancy: Men Rio: Oh please Rio: Like you wouldn't wanna see your wifey like that Nancy: I'm not getting married ever but if I did, that woman better dress up for me Nancy: Whole 9 yards Nancy: Did you see my mother's wedding dress? Iconic Rio: Hmm Rio: Maybe you're right Rio: Great, now I gotta stress about that Rio: Thanks bitch 😜 Nancy: I would say sorry but I'm not Nancy: You can wear a bikini any time, you'll be going for like a week + Nancy: Besides, he's the kind of boy who actually appreciates clothes Nancy: Labels anyway Rio: I blame you entirely Nancy: Not sorry, again Rio: You can explain my sudden cold feet to him then Nancy: Gladly Nancy: Me and him haven't argued in so long Rio: 😑 Nancy: It would get something back to normal, that's all I'm saying Rio: Who wants normal? Nancy: Um Nancy: Me Rio: Nah Rio: Only 'cos you ain't had it Rio: No fun, trust Nancy: Alright, Diane 2.0 😏 Rio: Don't get ideas Rio: I know you love me but Nancy: 😂 Nancy: Are we gonna have time to do a hen before you go or are you literally flying out when you close this convo? Rio: Who? Me, you and Indie Rio: That would be interesting Nancy: Well, just me and you then Rio: I don't actually know, I'll have to check Rio: I know we were planning for asap but might've given himself a day to pack Rio: you know how it is Nancy: Tell him he can come to the spa too, he'll make time for that Rio: Yeah? Rio: Alright, prep us for the long ass flight Nancy: He loves a facial as much as I do, more probably Nancy: Not to mention a massage Rio: 😏 Rio: Know I'm meant to be mature and everything but Rio: lmao Nancy: DO NOT Nancy: So gross Rio: You said it! Rio: I can't help that Nancy: And you know exactly how I meant it 😒 Nancy: Just 'cause neither of us should be in white dresses no need to disgust me, thanks Rio: 😂 Rio: I'm not sorry Nancy: Well, please change your mind on that Nancy: 'Cause I'm too gay and too related for this, like Rio: That doesn't work getting you out of family functions, it's not gonna work now, babe Nancy: So mean Nancy: Okay fine I'm too single for this Rio: Aww Rio: I don't think we should go to that kinda spa Rio: too weird even for me Nancy: Oh god Nancy: 🙈🙉 Rio: What are hen parties for? Rio: I see why you're so keen now Nancy: I've never been to one Nancy: Thankfully Ro didn't get that far Rio: Shame Rio: I'd have loved to get her a stripper Nancy: 😂 Nancy: Librarian or something Rio: Sexy Rio: Drew probably would've done it Rio: the actual horror Nancy: I just choked on my coffee Nancy: and I'm this close to throwing up Nancy: But it's helped me think of the best stripper for her Nancy: Jesus himself Nancy: Sexily removes crown of thorns Rio: STOP Rio: Nothing hotter than blasphemy Nancy: I WISH I COULD Nancy: Help me actual Jesus Rio: He ain't gon' save you now Rio: fully looking the other way Nancy: Turning that chiseled jaw line 💔 Rio: Gutted Rio: Yeah, you gay, but you're a fellow ginge Rio: no loyalty Nancy: No way he was ginger Nancy: Or that he looked as much like a woman as he does in the art Rio: You should be living for femme Jesus Nancy: I didn't say I wasn't Nancy: Just that it's unlikely Rio: If you wanna chat theology, hit up your auntie fr Nancy: No thanks Nancy: I've done enough babysitting of them both recently Rio: Fun Rio: I just can't wait for the 2 month update when she tells us about all the things Astrid can do Rio: like, blink, cry, shit Nancy: Don't Nancy: There'll be a newsletter Nancy: Why do you think I wanna come to brazil? I'm planning to stay away until the christening is a distant memory Nancy: She's been planning it since before the baby came out, I swear Rio: Gotta get into heaven, mama Rio: the christening dress, good lord Rio: at least she's a girl, the poor baby boys Nancy: Right? Nancy: She wants to approve my outfit too Nancy: Excuse me, who am I? When have I ever made a faux pas Rio: 😂 Unlucky Rio: No showing your knees in church, bitch Nancy: 😒 Nancy: Poor Diane, it's all she's heard about 'cause I'm furious Nancy: Like, I'm not even joking I've had to send her links of what I'm going buy and she's said no to several looks Rio: The cheek Rio: you can't dress code a christening Nancy: Do you see Buster sending her pics of suits, no you do not Nancy: Golden boy could turn up topless in speedos and she wouldn't care Rio: Fresh from Ipanema Rio: She's gonna be 💔 about this wedding forreal Nancy: At least her and mum can bond over it Nancy: Break their silence Nancy: 🙄 Rio: Yeah? Rio: I knew my mum said it'd been pretty quiet Nancy: Better than them screaming at each other Nancy: Astrid doesn't need that Rio: I guess Rio: Was never going to be a joyous time was it Nancy: Not really Nancy: I don't blame you for wanting to leave Rio: Not like I'm allowed 'round that drama anyway Rio: got enough, still Nancy: Yeah Rio: Ah well Nancy: Feel free to join me in therapy Nancy: Buster won't Rio: You're good Rio: Wouldn't know where to begin, like Nancy: It's not as if I did either Nancy: I still don't Rio: Does it help? Nancy: I don't know Nancy: It doesn't, not help, if that makes sense Nancy: Like, I don't feel any worse Nancy: So maybe? Rio: It ain't hurting at least Nancy: Yeah Nancy: And I'll take that Nancy: It's weirdly nice to have someone to talk to, who's not too busy to really listen Rio: Yeah Rio: It makes sense Rio: and someone who odds on has a chance of knowing what they're chatting Nancy: It does make you feel less crazy when they don't look at you like 😲😲😲 Rio: Can't teach that poker face in Psych 101 Nancy: I thought I had a good one but she's taken it well and truly up a notch Rio: I think about the bad things too much as is though, never mind setting aside time for that shit Nancy: Me too Nancy: I could not feel more self indulgent, believe me Rio: Nah Rio: I think it's a good thing Rio: I just don't want to Nancy: I get it Nancy: Most days I don't want to, still Nancy: If she'd just let me text her I'd never go, like Rio: You just want her personal number, babe Nancy: 😂 Nancy: I told you, she's not the one Rio: Whatever you say, honey Nancy: Shush, bitch Rio: 😂 Nancy: I've text my brother about the spa, if I don't hear back I'll assume he's already got you in the air Nancy: Or, you know, he's being a prick Rio: 👍 Rio: I'll confirm either with a plane selfie Rio: or lack of, obvs Rio: Can you like Rio: just keep an eye on Indie when we are gone Rio: you don't have to do anything but she was a bit gutted so Rio: Everyone else will be too but yeah Nancy: Sure Nancy: Do you want me to text you updates spy style or do you want blissful ignorance? Rio: Put it this way Rio: Unless it's an emergency I can sort from Brazil Rio: I don't really want disturbing Rio: but you know the drill actual, keep an eye, tell the olders if she needs nagging into coming home for tea Nancy: Gross but fair Nancy: Okay Rio: Come on Rio: It's my honeymoon, what do you think gonna happen Nancy: I know what will I just don't need to think about my brother being the one doing it to you or with you Nancy: Thanks Rio: Don't be blowing up my phone then babe 😘 Nancy: You wish Rio: You know Rio: Forever holding out hope Nancy: It's fine, we don't need to make it competitive, I'm better Rio: 😂 Rio: That's the spirit Nancy: It's less of a brag more of a fact, really Nancy: Not saying you should dump him and marry me but Rio: Well if that's not what you're saying, why are you saying it at all? Nancy: I'm just saying if you did you know you wouldn't regret it, babe 😏 Rio: I would when you leave me high n dry and 💔 Nancy: Rude Nancy: I would never Rio: Sure 😏 Rio: Say that now Nancy: You're breaking my heart now! The love is real Rio: What can I say? Rio: Can't even hypothetically do him like that Nancy: So cute Rio: Yeah yeah Nancy: I better text him again to find out what he's planning to wear Nancy: Be awkward now if he didn't put the effort in, like Rio: You can bond over it Rio: you 🤓s Nancy: Like you're too cool to care, yeah? Nancy: You love to look good, too Rio: This? Rio: So effortless, naturally Nancy: You can fool him with that, but not me Rio: Rude Nancy: Now you know how the slander feels Nancy: I'm off to cry over the one that got away, obviously 😏 Nancy: Doubting my devotion Rio: Now I know why I don't go out with women Rio: fuck you knowing all my secrets, no thanks Rio: but okay then, see you getting a facial or not 😜 Nancy: Nobody knows all mine Nancy: Work on your excuses for why we can't be together before I see you next, yeah? Rio: Diane's working on it Nancy: She wishes Nancy: I'm not planning on seeing her every week for the rest of my life Rio: 💔 Nancy: That's my reputation, amongst other things so Rio: Gotta keep up appearances, babe Rio: Lord knows we're letting the side down Nancy: Anything for you, my love Rio: 💘 Nancy: You can invite Indie to the spa too, I promise not to seduce her in the sauna or anything Rio: I should hope the fuck not Rio: Not just jealousy talking Nancy: I should hope not Nancy: But I just mean, don't not invite her on my account, you know Rio: Of course Rio: I dunno what she'd make of it but I'll defs invite her Nancy: We might make a convert of her Nancy: The gay agenda Rio: Truly Rio: I just hope your brother is bringing back food she can eat Nancy: He's lived with you guys long enough Nancy: Must have a clue by now Nancy: I know he's a man but he's one with a brain Rio: And tastes that range beyond Maccas but Rio: he does his best, bless him Nancy: 😂 Nancy: I won't tell him if you don't Nancy: Big enough head, like Rio: That I can manage to keep from him, like Rio: Probably Nancy: You went from definitely to maybe so fast I didn't even get to challenge it Nancy: Disgustingly cute Rio: Progress from just plain disgusting Rio: I'll take it Nancy: I mean, you'll always be in hetero hell but Rio: 😏 Rio: I promise, it's not that bad Nancy: um okay sure Nancy: Unlikely story Rio: 😂 Rio: Not gonna make you try it, it's alright Nancy: You couldn't Nancy: We're over the age of sitting around getting dared to kiss Rio: Sure, you're saying that tonight Nancy: I'm saying that every night if you're offering me a man Rio: Suit yaself, butch Nancy: I will Nancy: Your taste is questionable, babe Nancy: Buster McKenna, of all people Rio: I've done considerably worse but that makes the bit less funny so Rio: go off Nancy: Thanks for letting me have my moment there Rio: Gotta get that best man material out somehow Nancy: Oh god Nancy: Am I gonna have to make a speech? Rio: Say what you like Rio: your brother would never hate you that much Nancy: I'll take that Rio: Though if you get pissed Rio: no stopping you Nancy: 🤐 Rio: I hope so, bitch Nancy: I'll have a date to impress/behave for, won't I? So Rio: Good luck 'cos doubt the rest will be on same orders Rio: dread to think 🙄 Nancy: Lord, don't put off the fictional lady before I've even properly thought her up Rio: My bad, my bad Rio: we're all totally sane and respectable Nancy: The numbers alone is intimidating without having to consider any of the personalities attached Nancy: Actually gonna die alone Rio: Not saying keeping it in the family is the way forward but at least I don't have to introduce him Nancy: I just loled Nancy: Won't be explaining that one to my barista Nancy: No offense Rio: Sure the town's already said it's piece on this one Nancy: Undoubtedly Nancy: School is even more fun now, like Rio: Soz Nancy: You really sound it, babe Nancy: I don't care, its not as if I have friends here anyway Nancy: Other than in the family Rio: Well, they'll find a reason to chat shit on us regardless Rio: Always have Nancy: Yeah Nancy: It's no different from my old school other than the accents they use when they slag you off Rio: Basically Rio: It's all the same shit Rio: why you think I left Nancy: I hope that wasn't the only reason Rio: Well no Rio: 'Course not Rio: There was just no reason to be there Nancy: Like Chlo Nancy: Did Buster tell you she left? Rio: Yeah Rio: I'm not secretly pregnant with a baby that's taking it's time though Rio: just FYI Nancy: Me either Nancy: I only kissed her, I swear Nancy: He must be so relieved she's gone though Rio: Yeah, seriously Nancy: I can't believe her and James haven't broken up yet Nancy: I bet he's glad he doesn't have to see as much of her too Rio: Must be a record, right? Rio: Way they all bedhop Rio: Be gladder when the baby's here and he ain't tied to it 24/7 Nancy: 100% they are both cheating Nancy: Well, if anyone will have them Rio: Probably a little hard to pull when you're clearly heavily preggo Nancy: I have no idea how far along she even is Nancy: But the morals in that friendship circle, it wouldn't surprise me if his friends were still hooking up with her Rio: I'm not totally sure myself Rio: bit over half way, I feel? Rio: It's actually gross Rio: like we've all had crossovers but never on purpose like Rio: it's like a weird badge of honour or something idk Rio: posh people love swinging, facts Nancy: But you two are the ones being incestuous, okay Nancy: Everything they do is way grosser Nancy: Buster is well out of it, so thanks Rio: If nothing else Rio: Stopped the likes of Millie Tillie being your sis in law Nancy: Yeah Nancy: He could've been the one having a baby with Chloe Nancy: Imagine Nancy: But don't, 'cause NO Rio: Easily Rio: I try not to, yeah Nancy: Making myself shudder in public Nancy: Thank god he isn't that stupid Rio: She didn't really give him a choice either way Rio: you know he was out of it Nancy: Obviously, but he would have used a condom though that's like muscle memory to him at this point the amount of girls he's been with Rio: If it were that simple no one'd be getting pregnant, babe Nancy: None of his conquests have Nancy: I'll give him that Rio: Shh Rio: Harshing my vibe, babe Nancy: Sorry Rio: S'all good Nancy: You seem happy Nancy: All things considered Rio: I am Rio: with him, like Nancy: And he is too Nancy: I know Rio: Good Rio: What more can I ask for, like Nancy: I'm sorry if I was being a judgey bitch before Nancy: I'm not trying to channel my auntie, honestly Rio: You weren't Rio: like, you were but in a valid way considering Nancy: I'm just trying to look out for you both Nancy: It's weird in the middle Nancy: I know if it was me instead of you, you would too Nancy: But I can't stand in the way, I know that Nancy: And I don't really want to if it's what you both want Nancy: Which obviously Rio: I know that, I swear Rio: You haven't done anything I wouldn't Rio: There's no way to prove this is the right thing but time so Nancy: You'd go way harder than me Nancy: But yeah Rio: Taking it as a compliment Rio: regardless of how it was intended Nancy: It was meant as one Nancy: You're a bad bitch, you know I love that about you Rio: 💘 Rio: You know how to win me 'round Nancy: I'd hope so Nancy: I've been around you long enough Rio: Yeah, no one's accusing me of being mysterious Nancy: Me either, don't worry Rio: Oh to be afforded the luxury Nancy: Let's call it overrated Rio: Seems like a suitably bad bitch thing to do Rio: I'm alright w it Nancy: Good to know Nancy: 'Cause it's a thing now Nancy: We're running with it Rio: Oh, Buster's back Nancy: Tell the prick to text me back Rio: Will do, I'll direct quote you Rio: Better go though, don't wanna let my food go cold Nancy: Thanks Nancy: Yeah sure that's the reason Nancy: I'm gay not blind Rio: You said it, sister 😍 Nancy: I'm not saying he's hot, I'm saying you think so Nancy: Before you go there Nancy: Anyway go Rio: 💋

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