#also fuck imdb for spelling his name wrong

[deadlynedly]

reading through the Nope (2022) trivia on imdb and this one got me good

#nope #nope (2022) #nope spoilers #jordan peele #ricky jupe park #steven yeun #also fuck imdb for spelling his name wrong #thinking about panopticons again #and how lucky & oj survive because of their steadfast unwillingness to perceive and therefore abide by the ever watching eye #the significance of eye contact (and especially the lack there of) in this movie is unreal #truly the most layered horror film in years #text

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

It was early 2022 when I got to the Josh sitcom on my list of things to watch. I watched all three seasons in a few days, and it was exactly what I’d expected it to be: an extremely sitcom-y sitcom. A weirdly sitcom-y sitcom, in this day and age (or even the day and age when it was made, which was 2015-2017). It had all the sitcom tropes. It had sitcom plots where everything resets at the end. It had formulaic jokes and scripts. It was mildly amusing. It was quite endearing in the way that most things Josh Widdicombe does are. It had three main actors who were not particularly great at acting, but weren’t (usually) comically terrible at it. It was incredibly average. Sometimes it was funny. Josh Widdicombe sure did write a sitcom. It seemed like he watched every sitcom in existence (which, according to the way he talks about himself, he has in fact done) and distilled all the little bits of their essence into eighteen episodes. I had a good time while watching it.

I did have a really long, detailed post going at the time, which I updated about eight times as I watched new episodes, in which I kept track of all the cameos in it. I think that ended up being my favourite part of the show – seeing all the comedians who’d just wander in for an episode. It started with Mike Wozniak in episode 1, with a full beard, and seeing that when I wasn’t expecting him to be in the show at all was quite a shock. So I made a post about how weird that was. And then I updated it when the second episode started with James Acaster just sitting on Josh’s couch.

It kept going from there. Every episode had at least one new stand-up comedian in its lineup, sometimes two or three. I was going to find my old post and link to it, but as I’ve recently said I often cringe at the thought of things I might have said more than five seconds ago, so let’s not do that (I’m pretty sure I spelled Elis’ name as Ellis every time I wrote it, I figured out about halfway through 2022 that his name only had one L and realized I’d been spelling it wrong for ages).

So instead of going back to my post where I had screenshots of all these guest stars, I’ll just go to IMDB so I can list them: Mike Wozniak, James Acaster, Tom Allen, Cariad Lloyd, Jennifer Fucking Saunders (playing a character who was the mother of the main character who was played by her real-life daughter), both other guys from Three Bean Salad (Henry Paker and Benjamin Partridge, whom I didn’t recognize at the time but now do off IMDB), both people from Lazy Susan (Celeste Dring and Freya Parker, whom I also did not recognize at the time), Miles Jupp, Lolly Adefope, Felicity Ward, Mike Bubbins, Suzi Ruffell, Romesh Ranganathan, Ellie Taylor, Celia Pacquola. That’s not counting the comedians in the main cast (Josh Widdicombe, Elis James, Beattie Edmondson, Jack Dee) – those are all people who turned up for one episode each, except for Wozniak in two and Saunders in three. That is a lot of cameos from comedians to pack into 18 episodes.

This makes it extra funny to me as I listen to the John Robins and Elis James radio shows from that time, and listen to John Robins continually notice the same thing. Before the show started airing he got in some run-of-the-mill jabs about Elis swanning off to be a successful TV actor while John can’t even get verified on Twitter, but after it started airing, the complaints quickly turned to the more specific issue of why they have cast every fucking comedian in Britain in at least one role except for John Robins. A complaint that’s funnier to me because I have seen the show and can confirm that it is true. I even made a whole long post about it at the time, explaining that I’d stopped looking at the show’s IMDB page while watching because I considered IMDB to be a spoiler, since the most fun part of the show was trying to guess which comedian would suddenly turn up next. It did not, at the time, occur to me to wonder what it would be like to watch this as the one comedian in Britain who didn't get a cameo role despite being in a double act with one of the three main actors.

I have enjoyed listening to John Robins get increasingly petty and annoyed about this on the radio, and I was going to cut out some examples, but then I went on YouTube and found that someone else has already done it for me. Has helpfully collated clips of all the chats about the Josh Widdicombe sitcom to happen across several years of radio episodes.

I haven't actually heard everything in this YouTube video yet. I'm currently on episode 120, in mid-2016. I skimmed the video and found that I think the most recent clip I've heard from that video is about halfway through it, when they've just started filming season 2 and John keeps asking if he'll have a cameo in it and Elis tries to deflect with an extended joke about how John can only have a role if he's okay with doing naked fencing, and John plays along for a minute or so before saying, okay, but seriously, have you seen the entire script and do I get a role? And Elis says I have and you don't and then they immediately cut, which is great comic timing on the podcast editor's part. I'm quite pleased that that clip is only halfway through the YouTube video, suggesting that there is plenty more awkward chat along these lines coming up in episodes I haven't heard yet.

#Youtube

[according-to-the-laura]

StackedNatural Day 6: 7x01

StackedNatural Masterpost: [x]

23 September, 2021

7x01: Meet the New Boss

Written by: Sera Gamble

Directed by: Phil Sgriccia

Original air date: 23 September, 2011

Plot Synopsis:

Castiel believes he is the new God and becomes obsessed with power. Sam, Dean, and Bobby try to find a way to stop him before he explodes with power, even if that means talking to Death himself.

Features:

Queer-friendly genocidal maniac Godstiel, the beginning of Sam’s hallucination arc, Dean’s cute little mechanic coveralls, some light breaking and entering, the original Death and his love of pickle chips, Leviathan reveal.

My Thoughts:

Hooo baby a lot happens in this episode. I have a feeling that early and late Stacked is going to be absolutely bonkers and mid-seasons Stacked is going to be…. either torturous or boring. We’ll see. Check in with me again at the end of October when I’ve been watching 15 episodes a week on top of my full time job.

It is so funny to me that the way they show that Godstiel is “evil” is having him kill the leaders of hate groups and healing leprosy patients. That church scene is sooo choice and the stained glass moment fucks extremely hard.

Some fun accidental foreshadowing of the Equalizer in season 14 and 15 when they’re talking about what to do about Cas in the garage and Bobby says, “What we've got to do is hunt the son of bitch. Unfortunately, I lost my God guns.” I don’t have anything insightful to say about that I just think it’s funny that they later introduced a God gun. I also find it very funny that in Season 5 Dean says about God, “Try New Mexico, I hear he’s on a tortilla” and in this episode Bobby is talking about looking for signs of Cas and says “Miracles, mass visions, trench coat on a tortilla?”. Like father, like son. I love them.

Had to pause the stream and rewind like 5 times but from what I can tell the sticky note on the spell from Crowley says “Bye forever you fools. Kisses, C”. Crowley maybe best character on Supernatural?

The three of them doing the death-binding ritual in this rich couple’s house is so good. Was that always the plan? Were they just going to quickly summon actual Death into these people’s home while they were asleep? Just bring the lightning thing to Bobby’s panic room or something. Leave the random white rich people out of it, the only thing they did wrong was have too much money and questionable taste in decor.

Also in that same scene, when Cas and Death are talking face to face and Dean is out of focus but visually between them… I don’t have the brain for meta at the moment but Dean either protecting Cas or leading him to Death via confession…. Waaah.

Is it just me or does Death confirm the existence of aliens? Like sentient aliens? “Maybe I should spend my effort on a better planet”.

I LOVE Sam’s hallucination arc. It’s good fucking writing to have him be legitimately traumatized by hell and the “torture” of his own brain making him doubt reality is genuinely scary to me in the abstract sense. I don’t know, I just read A Complete Kingdom for the first time so it’s working for me. It’s been a long time since I’ve watched this era of Supernatural so I might be wrong but I feel like this is one of the last interesting plotlines that Sam gets, which is a bummer. I just remember really loving everything to do with the hallucinations and the cut on his palm.

Also in the (jesus christ) ten years since this episode aired, I’ve watched The Good Place like three times so I do love that hallucination-lucifer’s (are we still doing HaLucifer?) whole deal is basically the plot of an objectively better-written show.

There is a LOT going on in the last scene. For one thing it’s even more destiel-y than I remember. The whole “Is he breathing? Maybe angels don’t need to breathe” thing, the sad fucking piano that kicks in as Bobby says that he’s gone and the camera is close up on Dean, the shaky little way that he says “Damn it. Cas, you child”. The arm caress when he helps him up. That little reunion is filmed so that Bobby might as well not be there at all. Absolutely insane that we were YEARS from the market research here.

I can’t end this little ramble-y review without screaming about Misha’s acting, especially the leviathan button at the end of the episode. He’s so creepy and obviously Not Cas in that moment. Society if leviathan were That for the entire season rather than what we all know is coming.

In the Secret Good Supernatural that lives in my head, Godstiel lasts MINIMUM half a season and the degradation of his vessel and the creeping in of leviathan were a slow burn issue that culminates at the mid-season finale. And then the other half of the finale is Misha acting completely deranged as a vessel for leviathan before walking into the lake and giving us some solid grief arc episodes for Dean to wrap it up.

I love this episode but it loses points for Dean watching hentai. I hate it and I'm miserable and he needs headphones.

Notable/Kickass Lines:

“What a brave little ant you are.”

“Annoying little protozoa, aren’t they?”

“I am not petty. I’m punishing the woman who causes poverty and despair in my name. I put your needs first, don’t you understand?”

“Cas is -- he's gone. He's dead. We run the show now. Ah. Oh, this is going to be so much fun.”

Laura’s (completely subjective) Episode Rating: 8.7

IMdB rating: 9.0

In conclusion: I really thought that my 1 hour lunch break would be enough time to watch the episode and write this post and now I’m committing wage theft. Fuck.

<< Last Day | Next Day >>

#Stackednatural #supernatural #spn #7x01 #Meet the New Boss #it was a real busy day at the office too RIP my productivity

[bibliophileiz]

The Spear Rewatch Notes

So I missed the season finale of Supernatural because I was out of the country, but now I’m back and have had some time to watch it and my thoughts are thus:

- First scene -- Garth is a dad and Michael’s new vessel is perfection.

- The cereal scene is really cute. - Thematically, I actually find Cas and Jack’s relationship really boring -- I know that’s an unpopular opinion, but Jack’s relationship with Sam is more interesting than his dynamic with Cas and Cas’ parental feelings toward Jack are fascinating primarily in that they’re at least partially rooted in Cas’ loyalty to Kelly, which I don’t think the show explores enough. And I feel like the pair-offs this season have been Cas + Jack (and once Dean + Jack, which was great) and Sam + Dean instead of the more interesting pairings of Jack + Sam and Dean + Cas, which is what we got this episode. But I do like this cereal scene for a number of reasons. - This is the scene where Jack realizes that Cas not only gave up his soul for him, he also gave up his happiness. Both Cas’ deal and his refusal to tell Sam and Dean about it mean he’s going to be in this state of perpetual loneliness. I do think Cas thinks his death is a long way off -- he probably is expecting Sam and Dean to die first, the logic being that the Empty wants Cas miserable and being without Sam and Dean will make Cas miserable. Unlike Jack, Cas has a frame of reference for just how long an angel can live compared to humans -- which is going to come up later in this episode in Jack’s scene with Michael, which is also amazing. - (This isn’t to say that I don’t think Cas’ deal will come back to bite him in the course of the show, because I do think that. I just don’t think Cas thinks that.) - “Did you take the decoder ring out of the box?” “Maybe.”

- Another thing I find fascinating about this episode is the subtle but persistent opposition of Sam’s sense of caution and Dean’s borderline manic optimism. The first scene with Sam, he’s worrying about Garth and Dean’s just like, “He’ll be fine” -- even though Garth will absolutely NOT be fine if he thinks he’s going to outsmart Michael with a trick that didn’t even work on his mom. And Dean’s just like, ‘no biggie, we’ll get him’ which is an attitude he carries all episode, even when Jack gets kidnapped and Michael melts the egg. 

- Also I will give you a hundred dollars if you can give me a good reason why Ketch is still in this show.

- Who is the backwards cap teen werewolf, and why is Robert Berens so obsessed with awkward teen intern monsters? (There’s an intern demon in the episode where the guys rescue Linda Tran from Crowley’s prison, an episode which I’m pretty sure Berens also wrote. It makes me think Berens likes this kind of character.)

- So Michael obviously doesn’t bother sending monsters to get Kaia’s spear because he knows Dean’s going to get it. I did it.

-”When was the last time we had a big, no-strings-attached win like that?” Cas, don’t you feel BAD? - He just doesn’t want to tell Dean about his deal with the Empty because the last time Cas pissed off an all-powerful cosmic being in a way that would get him killed in the near future, Dean didn’t speak to him for a week. - I actually don’t like this scene that much though. Dean’s monologue about wanting to kill Michael needs more weight and more room to breathe-- some pauses, some dramatic music, a little more time which we could have had if you cut the Ketch scene that was drawn out for no reason. - Oh, well, at least Dean and Cas are getting their date finally this season.

- Likewise, the scene between Michael and Sam needed to be heavier, more drawn out. I want Michael to actually be worried about Sam, about how successfully Sam has coordinated and trained the apocalypse hunters from Michael’s world. I want there to be some sense of long-expected meeting, instead of it just looking like Michael bumped into Sam in the post office parking lot and decided to throw him into a van. - Seriously, do you have any idea how long I’ve been WAITING for their one-on-one? (I mean, since the end of Season 13, but still.) - I super want Sam to be the one to kill Michael. Dean killed Lucifer, Sam should get to kill Michael. Also, I like the idea of the brothers killing each other’s tormentors.

- Scene with Kaia is excellent and not just because I’m obsessed with the character. - Her introduction is great -- I’m such a sucker for the girl appearing out of nowhere and threatening a dude with a weapon. (Chalk it up to Arwen in The Lord of the Rings or Jane Barnet in Swashbuckler.) - DarkKaia music theme!! - Dean’s acting like he has a bit more respect for her than he has the last two times he meets her, but he still lies to her face. I’m a Dean girl and all, but I am going to enjoy watching Kaia kick Dean’s ass when she finds out Jack can’t get her back to the Bad Place. - Also you can tell Cas thinks lying to Kaia is a bad idea but he doesn’t want to say anything while Kaia’s got a spear pointed at Dean. Instead he tries to manage the damage on the front end by pointing out Kaia’s withholding things from them. He’s got a lot more emotional intelligence than he used to. - Maybe DarkKaia has a DarkClaire she needs to protect in the Bad Place. - She doesn’t, if she did she wouldn’t have tried to kill original flavorClaire.

- Cas: Sam, don’t you go in there alone.  Sam: I know. *immediately goes in there alone*

- The scene between Michael and Jack is amazing. (TBH, the second half of this episode is better than the first half, which is also kind of typical of Robert Berens. It’s like he just kills time before the high-stakes climax, and said climax is so good it makes you forget the rest of the episode may have only been meh.) - WHO IS PLAYING MICHAEL, SHE’S SO GOOD. According to IMDb, her name is Felisha Terrell and she doesn’t appear to be in the next episode. Fuck you, Supernatural, you’re going to bring Mark Pellegrino back and not this goddess? - Seriously though, she’s really good, I don’t understand how she doesn’t have more credits on IMDb. Maybe she’s more of a stage actress? - She manages to deliver her lines in this scene with a mixture of casualness and gravitas that really nails the topic of the passage of time and how it changes family and loyalties. - If the cereal scene is Jack understanding what Cas lost by making the deal to bring Jack back, then this scene is Jack understanding what HE lost by coming back. As an all-powerful being with archangel grace in his veins, he was bound to be all but immortal anyway, and now he’s using Enochian magic to keep his body functioning -- magic that kept someone who was constantly using it and burning up her soul to do different spells alive for more than 100 years. Imagine how long it’s going to keep Jack alive when he’s not using it for any spells other than keeping his body working and when he’s eventually not even going to need it for that because his grave will naturally regenerate. - Jack told Dean that he wanted to live his life spending more time with his family and then die when that life was over -- now he’s realizing that time will be long after the rest of his family (including Castiel if Michael has his way, it sounds like) is already dead. Long enough that Kelly, Sam and Dean will become just a tiny percentage of his life.  - Of course what Cas knows and Michael DOESN’T know is that longevity doesn’t equal loyalty, or Cas wouldn’t have chosen Dean even after Naomi’s constant reprogramming. - Anyway, Felisha Terrell may be my favorite thing about this episode.

- Love the return of Hair Werewolf and Overly Zealous Intern Werewolf. - Also love the return of Sam Motherfucking Winchester, who takes out even the werewolf who had advance notice he was coming, because he’s Sam Motherfucking Winchester. (Something else Berens does great.) - Can Sam rescue Jack all the time? That really is my favorite of Jack’s relationships.

- Did anyone else think the scene spent a weird amount of time emphasizing Jack’s injury by Garth and Cas’ healing of it? Is Cas’ grace used to heal Jack going to make Jack able to use some of his powers next episode? - Seriously, there was so much time spent on that that I was afraid Jack was about to turn into a werewolf. (Which would have been so dumb, I’m glad they didn’t do that.)

- Fidgety Michael is something I find fascinating. I don’t think we’ve ever seen an angel fidget before. - Michael is so obsessed with these guys knowing his plan/seeing it all play out. He’s the biggest drama queen in this show. (Sorry Crowley.) -  I don’t really understand what Michael says to Cas in the scene where he’s beating him up though. -”You got it.” “I sure did.” He was counting on you getting it, stupid. - I love, love, love how Sam sliding the spear across the floor to Dean is a parallel to Sam throwing the archangel blade to him during his battle with Lucifer in Season 13 (about the only good part of that battle, tbh).

- I guess no one was surprised Michael possessed Dean again. - When Kaia finds out Michael broke her spear, she’s going to kick his ass too. - Also, can we appreciate Michael’s level of drama? He starts his Scotch in one vessel and then finishes it in another. That’s some Extra shit right there. Somewhere in the Empty Crowley’s wishing he’d thought of that.

Overall thoughts: Not the best episode but not the worst either. Ringing endorsement, I know. I just felt it had a lot of potential that it didn’t tap into because it was too busy giving Ketch an unnecessary scene (What would have been wrong with Sam grumbling, “Ketch put the egg in the mail” like in every other episode this season?) and spending a lot of time on Intern Werewolf and other, more boring werewolves when it should have been building the tension in scenes like the one between Michael and Sam, which felt a little rushed and flat.

That said, I loved the new Michael and pretty much all Jack’s scenes were good. And since it looks like there’s going to be some trapping of Michael and some invading of Dean’s head, maybe the high-stakes emotional character stuff is all going to come next episode. I want Michael taunting Cas and Sam about how they’ve failed Dean, Jack doing some rescuing of his own, and Dean being pissed off that Michael changed his clothes again. I also want Mary and Sister Jo to save Kansas City and for Garth to puke up the angel grace and be totally fine and home in time to spend Christmas with his daughter.  

#is this is the first spn xmas episode since the one with the pagan gods in season 3? #supernatural #supernatural spoilers #michael is a crowley level drama queen #felisha terrell is my new favorite person #also excited for bartender dean

[watchtheblog]

when you’re here, you’re family

(upon rereading, i have deemed this to be the first in what i imagine will be a highly in demand series of: places i visit in los angeles besides the bed in the house i reside or the alley i go on walks in in order to obtain vitamin d which i am severely deficient in… on account of never leaving the bed in the home i reside because i hate everything in this city!)

if you didn’t study obscure satirical literature, you’ve probably never heard of samuel butler’s novel ‘erewhon’ and if you’ve never been to la, you’ve probably never heard of los angeles’ local delight erewhon, a supermarket only referred to by its formal, proper noun name.

erewhon.

i can only assume the progeny takes its name from the novel - in which (like many of the characters’ reverse spelled names) “erewhon” is intended as a backwards spelling of “nowhere” (“w” and “h” are inverted) - because, like… the store erewhon is the embodiment of irony!

erewhon is my safe space. erewhon is where i go to escape the ugliness of the real world, to soak up the glory of wealth, to revel in my ability to buy a pressed juice in a pinterest worthy, artisanal glass milk jar for $13 that i could easily make at home if i had the culinary wherewithal to effectively cut up fruit and vegetables… or, alternatively, a juicero.

erewhon is where i go to release myself of the awareness of poverty and death and the notion that there’s something wrong with paying a grip for a machine that will squeeze a sack of juice ingredients in ALLEGEDLY the same manner the hand of a mere mortal will squeeze it.

*please someone buy me a juicero. i do not fucking care. buy me the machine. i love waste and excess. PLEASE. I IMPLORE YOU.

shopping at erewhon is like stepping into a real life snapchat filter where every face around you is beautiful, smoothed, and adorned with a flower crown or the ears and nose of a ethereal puppy.

but shopping at erewhon is also like running into someone you didn’t know you owed money and then having that person shake you down for it… over a highway. in a city whose language uses a different alphabet!

if, like me, you are v rich but still enjoy the playfulness of frugality, walking up to the register after carefully curating your purchases will fill you with a sense of shame and dread. if you cannot relate to me in this way, i would liken the feeling of S&D to a “walk of shame”.

*though, perhaps i am incorrect as i have never been on one such walk, for i have never allowed a man within me who was not my boyfriend, and therefore have never needed to shamefully leave his home in clothing worn the night before.

and, anyway, had i ever experienced the rush of passion and lust that precedes the big mistake. *huge* that is a one night stand (which i haven’t because my sex organs don’t work!) i would have infuriatingly elegantly slept through the night and in the morning demanded the man send an uber: invisible cloak for me to go home in!*

imagine the feeling melania must have had walking down the aisle on her wedding day to - self professed human man, star of the failing ‘apprentice’ and noted despicable dude - donald trump, knowing she’d be divorcing him eventually because all she wants is an offspring and her share of the doll hairs.

so, that. that’s what it’s like... tto walk up to the register at erewhon, knowing what you’re about to do, while it will serve you in some way, will also hurt you gravely, and then, finding yourself with nary an exit strategy, persevering out of sheer obligation.

that’s what happened to me the other day when i blacked out at checkout and came to behind the wheel of a shopping cart only to find that i’d been charged $15.88 for a bag of cherries. and no, the “bag” in the “bag of cherries”, holding the “cherries” was not a birkin.

$15 is more than my cherry cost!! and i was eighteen! and a beautiful, angelic, genius baby with a faint english accent, an ass from the gods and:

and i gave that thing to my 29 year old out of work actor friend person (who after three months i had finally coerced into being my boyfriend) during my college’s parents’ weekend in this dumbo’s subsidized, low income housing project apartment… for FREE.

nah. i’m jk. that shit wasn’t free. he’s paying for it handsomely by never being able to escape me dragging his name and imdb profile through the dirt in perpetuity… and also by never being able to love again with the pureness of heart i invoked in him and by being tortured by the fact that he will never get to marry me… bc he’s getting married to a successful tv star. lol! lol lolololol! we’re all laughing. it’s v funny. ha ha ha. it’s good to laugh.

ok! that was nice. back to the expensive - but less expensive than my virginity - cherries.

even though i am certain the only people who read this live in LA or NY (hello, dad; hello, person who is not my agent at an agency where i could potentially be signed because currently i am unsigned, though i am taking meetings, but i guess what i really want is a manager and not an agent anyway but hi), if you live elsewhere, i hope you have not died from a shock induced heart attack from knowing that ya girl paid $15.88 for a bag of sugar balls.

the world is insane and abundant, what else can i say!

(actually. if you live elsewhere… talk to me about how you found my blog. thanks!)

erewhon purports (by way of their paper bags, which you are shamed for buying for ten cents (even though you are PAYING for them) because you should bring your own because… the environment) that “if it’s here, it’s good for you” and honestly, even though that apodictic maxim is eerily similar in tone to distinguished, repugnant company snapple’s “made from the best stuff on earth”, i believe them intrinsically...

because i don’t trust anything unless it is upmarked 300%. please see: “buy me a juicero” and accompanying sacks of juice ingredients.

that being said, the problem with the cost of the cherries and with every product being gracefully shilled at the almighty erewhon is that, yes, on the one hand, you know that what you’re getting is “good for you” (even though for $15.88 per handful of red gumball fruits you’d prefer a slightly more ardent adjective than “good” but okay)… but on the other, more pragmatic, less organic hand: YOU JUST SPENT FIFTEEN FUCKING DOLLARS ON FUCKING CHERRIES, you absolute pile of disgusting MF house rich, cash rich garbage.

like the masturbatory act of giving anonymously (lol), on the one hand: yes yes yes, wonderful. giving is excellent. on the other (ugly) hand: no one will ever know you did this! it is for naught!

photo break: me being organic... in that i have not showered in a fortnight:

and that is true. no one will ever know of your aspirational, enviable pursuit of health and a body not made of flaming hot cheetos… unless of course you write a blog about it and demand your closest friends and family read it. then they’ll know.

… and maybe they’ll venmo you some money to offset the price… and then, then that will have been worth it.

or maybe i’ll get an agent to sign me based off a blog about cherries - not the euphemistic usage of cherries but of the far less interesting, actual food item, literal word: cherries.

*also, real talk the title of this is the catchphrase of the iconic eatery “olive garden”, a place i’ve been to once, unceremoniously, despite being on my bucket list. please see the below and understand that my twitter is where i speak my truth.

#things that are la #erewhon #olive garden #someone please represent me #shopping #all of this is a joke thank you for reading

[streetcornertwoam]

babbling in those tags about high school memories reminded me the other night i remembered this one time freshmen yr in creative writing...

we were like in groups or something writing something, i don’t remember lmao

anyway...when one of the girls who was a senior in the class asked the teacher how to spell ‘schizophrenic’ and i don’t totally remember what her response was, but basically kinda laughed and said they’d have to look in the dictionary

and...i NEVER talked in class...ever

not...any class...not if i didn’t really have to

(or unless i definitely 1000% KNEW the answer and i wouldn’t look like an idiot for saying the wrong thing but even then...nah mate lol)

anyway...so i think she decided she was gonna use a different word, or maybe went to look it up...(again don’t totally remember) but i just busted out how to spell it

‘cause while i’d never claim to be smart or know many things, one thing i do say about myself is...i’ve always been pretty good at spelling 

(now admittedly i only knew how to spell that ‘cause i had a shirt that said it. y’know those shirts from hot topic back in the day? the ones that are super cringe now? but like then it was like ‘lol schizophrenic’ that’s funny. yea sorry)

BUT STILL...i knew how to spell it...i was a freshmen...and i just told this senior girl and my teacher how to spell this word

and...fuck if i can remember their reactions...i think mrs. linder said something like ‘sounds right to me’ or something, and i think she looked it up and yea obvs it was right

but it’s one of those things looking back...that’s maybe a sorta weird thing to just know how to spell? idk

that was my favorite class though...i wish i could have taken it all four yrs but it was an elective class so i couldn’t

there was also the one time i had to make up a quiz i missed when i was sick in science

(and yea i was...such a bad student i just...straight up never did homework, so i had to repeat freshmen science three yrs in a row...yea lucky for me...me and the teacher super got along lmao)

ANYWAY....so go up to grab the quiz and head to the library to take it and i grab it and he’s just...got a death grip on it and i wasn’t expecting it and he finally lets it go laughing...and i just...hit him with the paper????? and he just keeps laughing and it’s again...one of those things i just did without thinking and so y’know...i think i was a junior when this happened...so y’know...all these freshmen are just watching me ‘hit’ the teacher and i just walk out of the room

i think i might have said something to him...i don’t remember what. but bet you can’t guess what i did when i came back and gave it back to him? yup...the same thing he did to me. and he didn’t even expect it which made it all the sweeter lol

he also always liked to call kids up to get papers back in funny ways...so if he could do something fun with your name he would...

now i don’t think he started doing this til my sophomore yr, though i might be wrong...but *sigh* every time i got... ‘WILLLLLSOOOONNN!!! WILSON I’M SORRY!!!’

y’know...Castaway? yuuuuup

which y’know...it was funny, but it was also embarrassing...which is why he did it

and then there was one time...again i think sophomore yr...i don’t remember how it got started but it was like...valentine’s day or something, and he was talking about presents and he just was like ‘how would you react if your boyfriend got you a plant?’ or something like that i don’t remember exact wording but, i remember it was definitely ‘a plant’. and i was just so bluntly like ‘i don’t have a boyfriend’. and he was taken aback for a second...i don’t know why, but it was funny...and he was like ‘hypothetically...’ and i don’t remember anything beyond that haha

then (lmao this is just gonna be random high school memories you’re welcome) there was the one time in intro. biology (junior yr, second science class, in same soom as other science class lol), we were watching mythbusters...and of course...what movie clip do they show? yup.

now...intro was a different teacher, but mr. emery (the first science teacher) would frequently come in and out of the room to do things since it was also his room and he was of course...in the room for ‘WILSON!!! WILSON I’M SORRY!’. and we made eye contact he tried not to smile and then he just walked outta the room...lol

another one that i remembered from the other night along with my spelling prowess was...again one of the few times i ever spoke up in class...

junior yr...history...we had a sub...and our teacher did this quiz game thing and whatever...so the sub had done it with us and i don’t remember why but he then just did like...bonus questions about random shit that didn’t have to do with history. and he asks this question like...who recently won some award or presented some award...i don’t know...he’d done something lol. i don’t remember the award ‘cause it wasn’t anything i’d ever heard of at that time and so we were all like ‘uhhhhhh what?’ so then he had to think of something we’d know this guy from...

and then he’s like... ‘who played the french race car driver in talladega nights?’ and i was just like ‘sacha baron cohen?’ and obvs correct and my ‘team’ cheered and were like ‘HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT??’ and like...i had literally like the night before been looking him up ‘cause that was back whenever i watched something and i saw someone new that i liked i immediately went to their imdb and just...learned all i could. oh and i think that made my team the winning team btw

so basically anytime i spoke up it was just...super weird and awkward lol

i could probably think of other things, but it’s 2 a.m. and i should go to bed...

one last quick one...

back to mr. welch and speech class (another class i had to retake ‘cause again...super loser anyway) so i ended up being in the class with my younger sister and anyway...one time she did a speech on golf i think it was....must have been

and i said to her that we should ask him if you could show one of the scenes from caddyshack (i don’t remember which one) and we asked him and he laughed and basically said yea ok ask long as it’s NOT the scene where they get high and we laughed and promised no no of course not

so...lmao...goddammit...it was the remotes fault...i’m trying to help her get the video to play ‘cause it’s my dvd and i’m trying to skip or whatever and THE SCENE JUST STARTS PLAYING AND I’M LIKE AHHHHH!

and he’s just laughing and like I TOLD YOU NOT THIS SCENE 

and i’m just like frantically trying to get it to stop do something...and it was just...a mess but goddammit it was funny

well that’s enough remembering my high school memories for now

hopefully i won’t have any weird dreams now...there were a few times after high school i had dreams that mr. welch was in and it was just O.O

nothing bad happened...it was just when i woke up it was like whyyyyyyyy

(ok there was the one i had and we were slow dancing but y’know...it’s fine)

it was so weird...lol i don’t remember much about it other than that...and that’s just ‘cause it was so fucking weird

........i was weird though i mean...we got him a birthday present???? like...lmao

idk it’s maybe not that weird...but...no it’s weird lmao

whatever it’s fine...he was turning 40...how am i NOT gonna get him something?

....i’m gonna have weird dreams tonight aren’t i

i mean....i only dreamt last night that dan and phil came to my house and just stayed for a week and we just...hung out

which y’know...is fine but...like what? lol i don’t remember much...i remember just...literally laying around...and there were other people there but i don’t remember who but...it was just...laying around...laying on top of each other (in non sexual ways just like...chilling)

and then i was singing with phil....y’know as you do

and then they had to leave and it was super sad, and we just went out in my front yard and played in the snow?? and made bird noises???

like the bit i remember most clearly is the end (of course) and i was like face to face with dan and just...doing bird noises and i was trying to make him laugh so i just busted out some chicken noises and he kinda half smiled and i shoved him and i was like c’mon that was funny y’know that was funny and then...i don’t remember how this happened but he like tackled me? and then we just...rolled around...and kept rolling til we got to phil and then we just stopped and all just...lay there

it was um...it was an experience lmao

it’s weird how clearly i can still visualize dan’s face right in front of mine #themcurlsupclose

christ this is...too much go to bed self...

#personal bs #literally just ramblings on high school memories #...and then a weird dream i had last night #.......in which dan and phil were in #it was super chill...just...y'know...laying around...bird noises...the usual lmao