#alice was definitely trapped in a vision of a battle in the south when she bit esme

[goldeneyedgirl]

Hi! Damaged Alice is FASCINATING! Is it possible do get some more? Thank you so much!

"I understand this all must be quite strange," Carlisle begins and the bark of laughter that comes out of his mouth is unplanned.

They are strange, all of them. But he knows that Carlisle is referring to Alice.

She'd looked like an angel to him appearing there in the snow, in her little blue coat and hat. The way she had smiled so brightly when he looked at her, the soft warmth of her emotions that felt like he was being flayed for a split second because he hadn't felt anything so good in so long that it burned.

He'd caught on quick that there was something not quite right there. The way her eyes would dart and never quite meet his. The repetition of some of her words (he found it rather charming that she was chanting his name under her breath during the walk back through to the house). He's heard stories of vampires who turn out not-quite-right after the change, but he'd dismissed a lot of it as camp stories. But Alice... something had been amiss. And he had been curious.

That had been several weeks ago, and she hadn't left his side. Clinging to his hand, curled up at his side, perched on his lap, those were her preferences. He'd been uncomfortable at first when she worried at the scars on his hands and arms, at the way she'd rubbed her face against his chest one night until Edward had quietly explained her preference for tactile sensations. Somehow, in less than a month, it had become normal to have Alice bury her face in his shirt as he tucked an arm around her.

The talking was somehow more unnerving. When she was 'good', she was sweet and funny and inquisitive, knowing which questions to ask and which topics to avoid. Then there were the days she didn't say much at all, but could be relied on for simple questions and answers.

There were two flavors of bad, and Emmett had disclosed that there had been an incident in the early years where Esme had tried to get Alice under control by holding her, resulting in Alice biting and Esme striking her, and the fall-out had been ugly. Those incidents were unpredictable and often violent, where Alice didn't acknowledge or recognize them and could involve screaming, growling, or hissing.

The second were when she went mute. No speech, no acknowledgment or eye contact, just a blank slate. Edward said her thoughts were either so fast it gave him a headache or so slow and simple that she could be mistaken for a child. She would attempt to hunt if prompted.

Esme was quick to reassure him she was doing better. That in twenty years, her speech was significantly better, she was almost at an academic level that she could attend school with the others, and whilst she refused to talk about her 'episodes', she was aware of them. That she had lit up from the moment Jasper had come home with her.

The relief from the family when he explained his gift was tangible, Emmett's comment that he could 'help' with Alice. But he had looked into her golden eyes, so wide and trusting and he had seen something he recognised in them - that gaping chasm of fear and pain and grief and shame. That whatever had come before, in Alice's human life and her change, had wounded her beyond comprehension. She didn't need an empath to keep her calm and happy.

She needed unconditional love and acceptance, and somehow she had decided that it would come from him.

And even now, only weeks into knowing her, he couldn't say that she was wrong.

He knows that Carlisle is expecting him to say something about Alice, to ask about her. To make a comment that this is the first time Esme and Rose have managed to pry her off since he arrived.

But he doesn't. She's his... friend.

"I wasn't expecting the human integration. Or the... vegetarianism."

#meme #my fic: damaged alice #alice cullen #jasper hale #jalice #twilight fic #alice was definitely trapped in a vision of a battle in the south when she bit esme #esme slapped her to get her off #jasper isn't used to someone liking him and caring about him and enjoying his company #hugs and handholding are also new concepts #definitely healing each other to a point #because no one is perfect so they just have to be perfect for each other