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#ahahaha hey..... so um..... my bullshit is back
wilderjy · 3 years
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The legacy of Khaenri'ah is long gone, the sinners are all that's left.
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theythemsam · 5 years
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spn 8x13, liveblog, collected posts (all 20 of them) or as i like to call it: Everybody DOES hate Hitler.
 Oh No It’s the Golem episode
#yiketh
 Also the german is atrocious!
#like idk if I just cant hear him right but he either says `sie spät` which is not grammatically correct (should be ‘sie sind spät’ (youre late) OR ‘wie spät’ which would be a question (how late is it?) #so im going with my interpretation of the grammatically incorrect one
 The most accurate german thing TM they said so far was the one dude just going “eh was ist hier los?” (whats going on here) bc we do say that A Lot and also it’s a Mood
#like I have the same problem with grimm #if you want to use a different language in your writing: that’s cool go for it!!! #but please please please just hire a translator and language coach to make sure its correct and sounds good
 “schmeißt den Tisch um!” (throw the table down) me during parties asdfgh
#im sorry its just so funny to hear german in tv that’s not german #i know the context is bad and of course its nazi bs #but still asdfghjk
 Bunker! Its bunker time!!! HELL YEAH!!!
#fuck me I love the bunker #like I also want it to be destroyed soon bc I need them to get back on the road but!!!
 Also as much as I find the premise of this episode weird I do kinda like that they have one episode titled ‘everybody hates hitler’ and another where they kill hitler
 Dean: “Lets not go all geek!”
Also Dean: Immediately goofily poses with a sword and cuts his thumb bc he likes that whole thing too and also hes a big geek
#i need to at some point make a gifset that’s like Dean Vs Nerds #bc dean hates nerds so much when he himself is a gigantic one #and honestly? I can related asdfgh
 Having a jewish old dude scream at the Nazi bastard outside (whos also like so typical Evil German TM with the blonde hair and the haircut and everything) and then have him go up in flames and burn alive is… uhhh…. Kinda not good?
#like the connotations are… Big Yikes
 Time for “Deans gay thing”
#aaron really plays the flirty gay dude well #but alas of course its not true in the end and aaron actually just pretended to be gay to get close to dean #why am I watching this episode during pride month #i deserve better
 Yikes @ dean calling those very young college girls hot
#bi!dean stans would probably say its cause he wants to reassert his heterosexuality now #when like nope dean just continuously hits on underage/barely overage girls constantly bc hes a creepy pervy bastard
 I hate Dean talking to the golem that way
#like just cause he doesn’t talk a lot doesn’t mean he cant understand normal speech #dean just went into the complete ‘this is how you talk with children and people with mental disabilities mode’ #even though that’s also bullshit then lmao #ugh that way of talking just pisses me off so much!
 Sam, library nerd!!!
#hnnnggg I really need to get back to writing my story where sam works in a library bc yes he would!
 Sam just booking it up those stairs with his long legs
#also the pat pat pat of his shoes is so funny to me
 Uhhhh yes, more hurt Sam!!!
#like even drugged and bruising from the poison Sam still manages to fend him off and alert his family #also uhhhhh sam pretty when sick and I do make the rules #also Neck Romancer ahahaha
 Im seriously those stairs have the worst sound effects ever
#first sams pat pat as hes running up there #now the schlep schlep as the golem drags the nazi down #ufff I hate
 Sam just fucking chilling by the fire warming his hands asdgjl
#like burning a body is bad enough but sam just rubs his hands and warms them
 The atrocious German Continues
#hey spn let me timetravel back for a couple of years and translate this for you ok?
 Also Aaron I do support your life choices but rolling paper is just so fucking cheap my dude, just buy some
#no need to smoke ink like that’s so unhealthy!!!
 And bye bye Nazi prick
#double headshot uh la la
 This season is really deep in this family legacy thing huh?
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Okay, for Steve Rogers prompts: Steve is leaving the grocery store and hears some guy yelling at the little Girl Scouts selling cookies about how Feminism Is Ruining This Country and Girl Scouts Are Evil for Supporting Abortion and Lesbians. (Because this actually happens, it happened to me when I was a kid. And once you are like 13 you are allowed to sell without an adult, so me and my friend were alone).
Ahahaha yeah, good times, been there, donethat.  Right, so, I’m picturing this aslike a month or two after Avengers, while Steve is still Figuring Out the2000’s.  Also featuring: Steve swearinglike a Brooklyn kid who went into the Army, and my weird obsession withtime-displaced super soldiers who are angry about bananas.  WARNING: 100% WISH FULFILLMENT.  Some general assholery and Steve losing his temper a little under the cut because…this is longer than I meant it to be.
Steve was sure it would shock any number of people, but his biggestproblems with the 21st century weren’t the televisions, phones, orcoffee makers (thank you, Stark).  Therewas a learning curve, but it was reminiscent of the learning curve after he’dgotten the serum—hell, he’d gone from a colorblind, partly deaf asthmatic withmore chronic illnesses than you could fit on a chart to a walking talkingsuperhuman.  The whole world had beenbrighter, louder, and faster-paced than Steve had ever been remotely preparedto deal with, so he went onto stages and into battles until he adapted.  The 21st century was brighter,louder, and faster-paced than the forties could have dreamed, so Steve got onhis bike and went to tour the country without help.  By the time he got back, he was pretty surehe could manage technology well enough to Google shit like ‘what is Facebook.’
(Google was good.  Steve fuckingloved Google.  All the answers were onGoogle.  Including answers to questionshe never needed answered, but he had gotten better at choosing his searchterms.)
No, Steve’s biggest problems with the 21st century, otherthan the obvious fact that it wasn’t hiscentury, mostly revolved around money.
Example: who in their right goddamn mind paid seven dollars for a poundof apples?  Had anyone ever heard ofaffordable bread?  What the fuck washappening with the price of potatoes—potatoes,for the love of God.
“Inflation’s a bitch,” a passing college student said in dry amusement,obviously picking up on his bitter muttering. Steve’s scowl deepened and he put the apples in his cart.
For the first time in his life, Steve actually didn’t have to worryabout money—apparently seventy years of back pay totaled up to a significantamount of cash—but that didn’t mean that he didn’t wince as he did the math forhis food.  If this was usual for oneperson, what the hell were families paying? Bucky’s family had been Bucky, his ma, his dad, and all three of thegirls, plus sometimes Steve.  How was afamily of seven affording thisfood?  He added it to his mental list ofthings to Google, along with what iswrong with bananas.
Bananas.  Of all the things forthe future to fuck up, fucking bananas were weird bland not-bananas now.  Steve hadnever had strong opinions on bananas before, but live and goddamn learn,apparently.
Anyway.  The money thing was why,upon entering the grocery store,Steve hadn’t paused at the table set up just inside the door, save to read thesign hanging in front of it—it was good to see that the Girl Scouts hadsurvived.  Nonetheless, he could bakecookies his own self and probably get a better net value than six bucks for atiny box, thanks.  To be polite, he’dwaved a little to the girls at the table, both wearing green sashes and winningsmiles as they did a slow but respectably steady business, and then he’d goneon his damn way like a civilized human being.
But God forbid that otherpeople could do the same.  Steve checkedout with his apples and cereal and soup ingredients (and no bananas), put themin pair of reusable grocery bags, and started for the door just in time to hearraised voices.
Well.  A raised voice.  It soundedlike a man, older, with a neutrally middle American accent.  The table where the Girl Scouts had beenselling their cookies was ringed by a small crowd, steadily growing larger bythe moment, and Steve had to mutter a string of ‘scuse-me-sorry-ma’am-can-I-just-yeah-thanks under his breath as heshouldered through to see what was happening.
The voice belonged to a guy in his fifties, thickset but not out ofshape, with dark hair just going salt-and-pepper.  His face was flushed red, twisted into abitter snarl as he shouted at the two stiff-backed girls behind the table.  Steve noted that the girls, both wide-eyedand pale with a sort of primal panic, couldn’t be more than twelve or thirteenat the most.
“—nothing but needy bitches looking to take advantage of men!  This,” the man snarled, slamming a hand downon the table so hard that it shook, “is a cult, designed to convince our children that ‘feminism’ is good forthe country instead of being an excuse for women to work less and get paidmore.”
“Can you hold onto this for me?” Steve murmured, turning and offeringone of his bags to the young woman to his left, and she nodded absently, takingthe bag without letting her phone shake as she recorded the situation.
“Besides,” the man continued, clearly getting into his rant, “the GirlScouts support homosexual behavior—are you two girlfriends?  Are you dykes,or are you waiting to get older so that you can get knocked up by some guy andabort your baby?  Maybe you’re justplanning to have the kid,” he spat, “and get on welfare so that the rest of uscan pay for everything you need.”
“Hey,” Steve said to the guy on his right, “can you take this?”  The guy took his other bag, a nauseated lookon his face.
“What, are you going to cry?” the man sneered down at the two girls infront of him—one of them did look like she was about to cry, almost shaking ashe loomed over her.  “I thought youfemi-nazi cunts were supposed to be tougher than–”
“That is enough,” Steve said,stepping forward and catching the man’s arm. He had a not-insignificant height advantage—Steve was a clean and evensix feet, but the man was perhaps five inches shorter, enough that Steve couldloom just as effectively as the man had been doing over the two girls.  “You’re done.”
“Let me go, you fucking–”
The man spun, and made a critical mistake.  He threw a punch.
Steve caught him by the wrist, twisted, and the man dropped to one kneewith a yelp like a rabbit in a trap, his arm angled sharply up behind his back.  Steve pressed down a little, the barest fractionof his strength, and got a string of curses in reply.
“Now,” Steve said in his most reasonable voice, feeling the bubblinganger fill his chest and make his head light. “Why don’t you walk away before this gets any messier?”
“Who the fuck are you?” theman panted through clenched teeth.
“My name’s Steve,” Steve said.  Hisheart was beating with the bone-rattling speed he remembered from when he was akid, getting into fights on the streets of Brooklyn—now, he took care not tolet it make his hands shake.  If he lostfocus and closed his fist any harder, he might break the man’s wrist.  If he broke any bones, Steve intended to doso on purpose.  “I don’t like bullies.  So. How about you just get the hell out of here, now, before I have one ofthese nice folks call the police?”
“Oh, um, I did that,” a voice said, and a woman about two ranks back inthe crowd shakily held her phone up as proof. A little girl clung to one of her hands. “Sorry, I just–”
“No, that’s great, ma’am,” Steve interrupted with a smile.  “That was real smart of you.”
“You cocksucking freak,” the man snarled up over his shoulder, and Stevepressed down a bit harder on the arm locked across his back.  He could feel the man’s shoulder creakingdangerously, threatening to dislocate as the man made a shrill sound of pain.
“I don’t like that kind of language, either,” Steve said sternly.  He looked up at the two girls, who werewatching him with something very close to tearful awe.  “Are you two kids okay?” he asked, trying tosound as gentle as he could manage.  Oneof them nodded slowly, and jabbed her friend with an elbow until the other girlnodded too.
“Um,” the first girl said, “do you mind if I—are you Captain America?”
Steve winced a little, offered her a wry smile.  “Steve, please.  So, am I just real obvious?”
“Yes,” she said baldly, and Steve chuckled at that, earning a shaky grinfrom the girls.
“Bullshit,” the man on his knees hissed, and Steve felt the fine threadof his self-control snap.  The pop of thedislocating shoulder was quick and loud in the crowd, and Steve dropped the manin disgust.
“You listen to me,” Steve said, struggling to keep his voice even as hegave the man an ungentle prod with his knee, forcing him to look up at Stevestanding over him.  “I’ve known women inthe Army who could hand your ass to you on a plate, and girls in telephonecenters and diners who could outtalk, outthink, and outfight half the guys Iserved with.  Lesbians too.  And every last one of ‘em was being paid shitfor their work and ignored every second of the time they weren’t being hit onby scum-suckin’ trash like you.  You wantto crucify someone for being pro-abortion, you can pick on someone your owndamn size.  The Tower ain’t that hard tofind, I’m sure you can have a nice talk with the Widow about women’s health.”
“I wasn’t–”
“And as long as we’re on the subject,” Steve continued, raising hisvoice to drown out the man on the ground. “How goddamn dare you throwaround words like ‘Nazi’ about people who just want to be treated like humanbeings.  These two girls are fucking teenagers,what the hell were you thinking?  Don’tanswer that,” he said mercilessly, crouching down to be on a level.  “Because listen real close, pal, but youweren’t in the right seventy years ago and you ain’t in the right now, and I’mstill real fucking tired of hearing your bullshit.”  
Steve stood up and turned to the young woman who had taken one of hisgrocery bags, realizing with a burst of rueful amusement that he was facing awall of phone cameras recording him.  
“So, uh, folks,” he said, already mentally drafting the apology letter hewould need to write to the PR team Pepper and SHIELD had assigned to theAvengers, “when you inevitably put that online, it would be real great if youcould forward it to Fox News so they stop calling me.  Can I have my groceries back, please?”
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