#agreed. it is my fault i didn't do it WAYYYY earlier

[tardis--dreams]

I talked to my professor yesterday and I have some thoughts but it's too exhausting to rant rn. But there will be. Ranting.

#nice guy #in general #but bro my friend my dude #i know it's MY fault i didn't get my shit together earlier. could have done that 2 years ago. my bad. BUT #in this particular situation HE is at least 50% to blame for this mess #because i asked him SIX months ago if he could supervise me and told him i had a lot of time pressure #and he insisted i take his stupid seminar #i told him essentially Every week i had time pressure and would like to finish my thesis asap #but i couldn't start working until i had the presentation and that was too late and then fell together with everything else #so now I'm here having EXISTENTIAL DREAD and YES I'M BLAMING YOU MY FRIEND! Like. at least 50% #agreed. it is my fault i didn't do it WAYYYY earlier #but it's not like i didn't tell him for the past 6 months what my deadline was #anyway #i talked about me getting unenrolled from my masters program and i mentioned that'd I'd have to drop out of university #if i couldn't do next semester and i think that made him take me seriously lol #because he went 'ok. i don't think this'll work out in February so let's see if i find a second examiner who'd be willing to do ot #in 6 weeks instead of 8 so you'd have until mid march' #so nice enough #but he said twice something along the lines 'you're putting us in a difficult situation' #BITCH *YOU* PUT *ME* IN A DIFFICULT SITUATION #I'm not putting you anywhere #i didn't even ask for him to do it faster #i really just explained the stakes here. it's not like i force him to correct my shit with 2 weeks less time #and both times he said it i had to literally hold myself back from saying something like 'yeah I mean it's not like i told you MONTHS ago #and i would have loved to do it last semester break but you forced me to take your seminar so idk what you want from me bro' #again. TOTALLY my fault for letting it get this far in the first place but absolutely at least half his fault for it to get this far #in that particular situation #again. it's nice enough he considered doing it in 6 weeks and asking his colleague to be the second examiner #(my boss. from the German department. i cry lmao) #(now i ended up ranting anyway. and hit tag limit. whoops.)