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skwistokwarrior · 2 days

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blue team: can they cook?

tucker: no. he's not the WORST, it'll be atleast somewhat edible, but he's still not allowed to cook. ever. like, ever.

church: yes and he's very valuable to them for this alone. they would have already starved in blood gulch without him. maybe not the best food but when you're on blue team, it is.

caboose: ok predictable but absolutely not no way in hell he can cook. he tries to help but they all have to usher him out (emphasis on everyone, he's a big boy)

wash: this one's a less common but honestly no. he's been in the military since he was 18 he cannot cook food for shit. i've already made a post on this but he's tried before for the blues and like. that was literally the closest he's ever been to death in his life, and he's a FREELANCER. he's not allowed in the kitchen without active supervision, and you would not believe the amount of protein powder this man has

carolina: also no. you think she had the time to learn how to cook? you're funny. i think she's learning, but it's a slow process, a very slow process. leave it to carolina to know everything but how to cook

tex: i mean, yeah, why not. she knew as a person and a robot. i like to think she made caboose sandwichs in the early seasons (because i love tex/caboose as a duo)

kai: yes and it concerns her that nobody else knows how to. and not just like knows, she's REALLY good at cooking since she's been cooking since she was young. she's blue teams savior (except she's never there so theyre still in distress LOL)

honorary doc: yes but he's not a big help to blue team because he's vegan everything. he told them he can cook and they let him. they were very disappointed when he started very delicately explaining how he substituted just about everything out of a typical dish for something vegan. (and it wasn't even good either, like he makes the food so bad other vegans would rather eat a fucking burger than his food)

in conclusion: they steal the reds food primarily

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #this wasnt supposed to be this long originally oops #rvb #red vs blue #blue team #lavernius tucker #leonard church #michael j caboose #agent washington #agent carolina #agent texas #kaikaina grif #doc rvb #should i do a red team version? lmk #also tell me how accurate this is lol #honestly i just needed to spread my blue team can't cook propaganda

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astraladversity · 7 months

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fragments

#rvb #red vs blue #leonard church #my art #rvb fanart #do i have to tag all the fragments #its literally 1am as im typing this #i have work tomorrow what am i doing #theta rvb #delta rvb #omega rvb #the director #gamma rvb #sigma rvb #eta rvb #iota rvb #agent texas

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georgeromerosanalcavity · 5 months

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How did Burnie Burns create one of the most evocative portrayals of what it means to be a woman character in a male centric show, the idea of being made into a projection of a memory to the point where you are never allowed to be your own person, the idea that all they’ll remember of you is your failure, and how it is programmed into you, being not a person but a memory, to always try and always fail…. That had to have been on accident

#red vs blue #agent texas #lost my old post about this

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fischiee · 2 months

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the best part of rvb is when they refer to tex by he/him pronouns for like 2 episodes and church just rolls with it

#im ignoring the part where after church says she everyone freaks out bc shes a girl thats not canon. to me.#they're just like “he's so badass i can't believe he stole your girlfriend church he's so cool” and church is just like yeah ok sure #he was playing the pronoun game just thinking “did she change her pronouns???”#bisexual church has been canon from day 1 fight me about it #rvb #red vs blue #agent texas #leonard church #rvb chex

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sodium-chloride-blog · 5 months

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What do you mean the Freelancer saga didn't go like this? (aka rvbtober prompt 1: freelancer shenanigans)

#red vs blue #rvb #the director #agent texas #agent carolina #agent maine #agent york #my art #rvbtober

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eastgaysian · 5 months

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i loved you so much it was making me sick

#red vs blue #rvb #rvb fanart #rvb tex #agent texas #rvb church #leonard church #freshly minted #me fighting for my life trying to figure out what tags people use. ok.#anyway the relevance of going to scotland to this moment or this art is questionable at best but u just need to trust in my beautiful mind #what i was mostly thinking about is what tex would look like. and then what epsilon tex specifically would look like. and coming to the #conclusion that i dont think i will ever come up with a face for her. always just a hint of something blurred through the glass.#i love you deadalive nothing girl who isn't.

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justjustbeth · 22 days

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I think one of the most deeply hilarious things about Red vs Blue is that Beta/Tex was based on Church/Alpha's memories of Allison. This foul tempered, foul mouthed, incredibly violent woman is who Leonard Church was obsessed with???

Like, this isn't who she was, this is how Leonard remembers her. And by all accounts, these aren't his bad memories of her, either! This is what he loved about her! Fucking hilarious. By sheer virtue of the fact that nerds in 2003 thought a mean, crude girl was hilarious they invented one of the most hilarious guys: "Obsessed With My Dead Mean Wife"

#red vs blue #leonard church #agent texas

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ancient-romes · 27 days

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#I had to #rvb #red vs blue #rvb tex #agent tex #agent texas #??? wtf do i tag her as help

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seapotty · 2 months

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three days grace i hate everything about you etc etc

#red vs blue #rvb #leonard church #agent texas #allison texas #my art

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p0kern1ght · 6 months

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assorted s2/s3 scene redraws and doodles because all i do is rewatch blood gulch chronicles forever

#rvb #red vs blue #frank dufresne #leonard church #allison church #agent texas #dick simmons #dexter grif #lavernius tucker

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mrpsychokiller · 7 months

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chex compilation because i am sick in the head. im gonna go take a nap now goodnight

#my art #red vs blue #rvb #agent texas #leonard church #leonard l church #chex #👍👍👍👍

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cerayanay · 10 months

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Rewatching rvb and season 2 Tex is so fucking funny in retrospect. You see in the prequel seasons that she’s an insanely deadly fighter, and chooses to remain silent, cold, and aloof to all the freelancers. She never talks to them, and she’s actually an incredibly powerful and intelligent AI in a robotic body. Unkillable and inhumanly intelligent.

Fast forward a couple years and she’s in season 2. All she does is sit around and fight with the Blues. She fought fucking space pirates and jumped off a fucking building, beating ever single other freelancer in combat, but is killed within DAYS of meeting the reds and blues. By DONUT.

She’s literally the most skilled and deadly freelancer, and spends s2 giving meditation sessions to a bomb, being scared shitless by an alien, and bickering with her ex boyfriend and his dumbass friends.

#PEAK CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT #agent texas #rvb

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awnrii · 3 months

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